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CurlcrsoUlc sslllk American.
VOLUME 111.
GOVERNOR CLEVELAND
o
o.v the foolish fears entertained
BY THE NEGROES.
He Assures Them That Their Rights Will be
Maintained and Their Privileges
Protected by the Deuoruat-
I ie Administration.
Albany, N. Y., November 20, — Gov
ernor Cleveland was asked by an Assocb
ated Press reporter to-day if he was
aware of the delusion existiug among the
colored people of the South that a change
in the administration would unfavorably
affect their condition, to which he replied:
“Yes, I have been astonished at the
statement that there was an apprehnsion
existing among the colored people that
in some way their rights, now secured to
them under the laws and the constitution
of the United Elates, were in danger
from the election of a Democratic Presi
de).t. lam even told that some of them
are led ig suppose the result of the re
cent election means that they may again
be mode slaves. All of this has appear
ed to me to be so absurd, and I have
been so sure that the slightest intelligent
reflection would dislodge such foolish
fears, that I can hardly deem any notice
of them nescessary; but there is not the
slightest objection to call the attention
of all who are in doubt or uncertain upon
this subject to the fact that the title of
colored people to freedom and all the
rights of citizenship cannot be disturbed
except by a change in the constitution
which it would be impossible to make.
Besides, the present condition or status
of these people has been so fully accept
ed by the entire country that no one
should have the slightest idea that any
attempt will be made to change it. If
there was any possibility of accomplish
ing such a thing, so far as the new ad
ministration is related to this subject,
the wholfe country can be sure that the
lawful power and jurisdiction of the ex
ecutive will be so exercised that the
rights of all citizens, white or black, un
der the constitution and laws, will be
preserved and protected, and all advan
tages to which they are entitled by rea
son of their citizenship will be secure to
them. There need be no fear that either
the Democratic party or its newly elect
ed administration proposes to oppress or
enslave any part of our population, nor
to destroy the business interests of the
country. We hope, on the other hand,
to do something to benefit the people.
It seems to mo that our efforts in that
direction would be aided if mischievous
croaking and dark imaginings should give
place to an earnest endeavor to inspire
confidence and to make universal a cheer
ful hope for the future.”
THE NEW SOUTH.
The publishers of the Baltimore Man
ufacturer’s Record will shortly issue a
book on the south, from the pen of Col.
M. B. Hillyard, New Orleans. The
book will be called “The New South,”
and will embody an accurate and impar
tial description of the Southern States,
noting each state separately, and giving
their distinctive features and characteris
tics. At present there is no single
source from which can be gained a relia
ble description of the whole
south. This publication will supply that
want. It will treat of topography, soil,
climate, woods, watercourses, resources,
manufactures and such laws as are need
ful to be known. It will portray the at
tractions to the capitalist, and those seek
ing homes in the south,, in the lines of
manufacture, horticulture and agricul
ture. It will show what the south is and
what she is likely to become by reason
of her almost untouched, and slightly
known resources in soil, climate, rainfall,
marls, minerals, and geographical posi
tion, and the vast variety of products
possible to a wise and varied husbandry,
and a grasp of her rich opportunities for
manufacture.
The book is entirely new in its scope
and design, and aims to be a guide to all
seeking information on most vital mat
ters. No such book has ever been writ
ten; and it meets a want now imperative
to those seeking information as to the
south. The author, who is well known
both north and south for his long identi
fication with southern development, and
through his contributions to northern
journals, is an able and pleasing writer,
and is well fitted by his many qualifica
tions for writing a book of this kind.
It is a work that should be read by
every man in the south as well as every
one who has any idea of ever locating
here.
It will be a book of some 400 pages,
and will be gotten up in handsome style.
The price will be, in paper covers, 75
cents; in cloth, $1.25; Subscriptions
can be sent now by post-office money or
der or postal note to Bigsby & Edmonds,
publishers of the Manufacturer’s Record,
Baltimore, Md.
Uncle Ike—Heigh-yo, Ephrum, whar
yo’ gwine?
Ephrum —Gwine ter Sunday school.
“Dat’s right, boy! An’ w’y does yer go
to Sunday school, hunney?”
“Kase daddy won’t lemme go fishin’,
dinggone hit!”
A tie vote—a matrimonial engagement.
mi ddle at sea.
Steamship Donau,
English Channel.
Editor Texas Siftings :
On the third day out the steamer rolled
and pitched in a most astonishing manner
I have never before witnessed such pitch
ing, even in a base ball match. The ship
pitched worse than a dozen cow ponies.
I he fat woman was on deck this morning.
She rolled about like a porpoise with her
200 pounds averdupois. She seemed to
tumble about on porpoise, like a fish out
of water. She suddenly caught hold of
the railing and held her head away over,
as if she was listening to what the wild
waves were saying. She said something
back to the wild waves in German. The
Chicago drummer, who is a perfect mine
of old jokes, asked me if she did not re
mind me of old Griswold, “The Fat Con
tributor.” She was contributing to the
Atlantic, he says. She was a very pro
lific contributor, and made a great deal of
fuss about her contributions. The cap
tain said if it hadn’t been for that woman
being on board, he would not have been
obliged to hire a tug to get out of New
York harbor. After she felt better, and
had quit conversing with the wild waves,
the steamer did not seem to sink down
into the waves as deeply as it did before.
She, the steamer, had a great deal less on
board than when she left New York, be
fore the fat contributor began to contrib
ute.
The most pathetic sight at sea is a fat
woman leaning over the rail, and not giv
ing herself, but actually throwing herself
away.
There was a melancholy looking man
on the deck singing softly to himself :
“A life on the ocean wave,
The man who wrote it was green,
He never had been to sea,
And he never a storm had seen.”
The drummer came up and offered the
melancholy man a cigar, which the latter
tried to smoke.
“Is supper over yet?” asked the drum
mer.
“No; but it will be in a minute. Ah !
Oh!”
And some of the supper was over —over-
board. I was the party who said ah !oh !
etc.
Sunday, October 12th. —I’ve been out of
my berth. It must have been the cigar
that did it. I want to die. I am in a
hurry. Delays are disagreeable.
Monday, October 13. —Not as well as
yesterday. The drummer has been in to
console me. He suggests that I swallow
a piece of fat pork tied to a string. While
I was feebly hunting for my pistol he tore
himself away. Got worse after the drum
mer left. I can’t get much worse. For
the first time in my life I, or rather ray
stomach rejected whiskey. “Oh, death,
where is thy stinger ?
That cigar was my last cigar, but it
might have been my first from the effect it
bad. If I ever recover, I’ll never smoke
again.
October 15.—1 am much better this
morning than I was before I smoked my
last cigar. I have lost everything, except
my appetite. I have never been so hun
gry since Lee surrendered.
I positively can’t remember when I en
joyed my meals as much as I do now that
I have entirely recovered from my seasick
ness. Passengers who are not well leave
their staterooms and come to the table to
see me eat.
This afternoon after dinner, while I was
sitting on the deck picking my teeth and
looking at the waterscape, an officer of
the ship tapped me on the shoulder and
said that the captain wished so consult
with me about a matter of great impor
tance. I followed the officer to the cap
tain’s private office. The captain w r as la
boring under great mental excitement,
which he endeavored in vain to hide. Af
ter inviting me to take a seat, he said in
broken English:
“Mishter Huddle, I wants to ask your
advice about somedings vat concerns dot
welfare von dose whole passengers.”
“What can I do for you?” I asked.
“Everydings depends on you.”
“Why, w'hat’s up?”
“You see, ve vash going direct to Brem
erhafen.”
“So I understand.”
“Yes; put, my tear friend, ven you eats
so much every meal as you eats to-day for
dinner, den it vosh not possible for us to
go direct to Bremerhafen. Ye vould have
noddings in dot ship to eat four days be
fore ve got dot Bremerhafen to. Can’t
you put some restraints on dot appetite
vot you have got?”
I told him that I had never yet been
able to restrain my appetite successfully.
He shrugged his shoulders and said
there was no help for it, and going on
deck he ordered the course of the steamer
changed for Southampton, where de could
lay in some more provisions to last until
we got to Bremerhafen. I also noticed
that they hoisted three or four more sails,
and an extra head of steam was put on.
The steamer travelled as fast as if a dog
w'as chasing it. Yes, thank God, my ap
petite was as good as new.
On the twelfth of October we came in
sight of the New York policeman’s native
land. It was quite mountainous. I had
heard so much about Ireland being down
trodden that I supposed the country was
flat like a prairie.
This morning I became very much
alarmed. I found that we were nearly
six hours ahead of New York time. lam
feeling old and feeble, and I looked at my
hair to see if it was not turning white. If
this thing keeps on I’ll be old before my
time, and run right into my second child
hood.
There is only one meal’s rations on
CARTERSVILLE, GEORGIA, TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 25, 1884.
board. The captain shakes his head and
sighs in German every time he sees me on
deck.
By the way, did it ever occur to you
that Noah was the only man on record
who ran away to sea ter get away from
the water.
My next letter will be from Germany,
unless Bismarck hears that I am coming
and moves it away before I get there.
Yours truly, _
Huddle.
BILL ME,
Resolved to Quit Tobacco aml Keep a Diarjr.
I have again renounced the pernicious
and terrible tobacco habit. Most every
year I quit smoking and lead a different
lifa ft>r sevorul weeks,, and it is a pleasure
that I would not forego. The joy of
bursting a long established habit and as
serting a manly independence of it, even
for three weeks, is a good thing?
Tobacco is a filthy weed—that is, it is
a poisonous and venomous plant this
week. It will be so until further notice.
I remember very well the struggle T had
to break off last winter. The doctor
said I never could have flesh enough on
my bones to catch a shrimp if I didn’t
stop the use of tobacco, so I stopped.
For weeks I was uncertain whether I
would renounce my pipe or not. It was
a solace to me when I was lonely, it gave
me much pleasure, and seemed after a
stormy, tempestuous career as postmas
ter, to be a very mild sort of vice. But
I wanted to get fat, so one day when I
was over at Bootjack Camp I threw my
pipe over iu the woods as far as the
strength of a great resolution could send
it.
I can still remember how it went hust
ling through the air and how I went
hustling through the air the following
week on my hands and knees hunting
for it.
It was about those days that I rashly
resolved to keep a diary. It hardly
shows the marks of use, but I will sell it
at a reasonable price to any one desiring
an easy running diary, with a place in it
to stick a pencil when not in use. I
quote a few entries from the same:
“January 1, 1884 —Have resolved to
quit the use of tobacco and to keep a di
ary showing what I did each succeeding
day, so that future generations may know
the inner life of a great man. I also de
sire to keep a strict record here of my
various private expenses, so that I may
know from month to month where my
money has gone. . •
“January 2—How gloomy everything
looks to-day. Made several New Year’s
calls yesterday, lam told. In an un
garded moment, perhaps. I did; but it
was unintentional. I did not smoke,
however, yesterday. I feel much better
without tobacco in any form; think I am
gaining flesh. Ido not notice it so much
in my body, but my head and feet are
certainly much larger then they were
yesterday. How much more happy and
light-hearted we are when out from un
der the thraldom of an old vice that has
clung to us for years—like a vice as it
were. Paid fifty cents for a pound of
marsh-mallows to gladden the children’s
hearts, and while in a seal brown study
on the way home, ate them all. When
I quit the use of tobacco I notice that I
want to eat everything I see. Came very
near eating the infant class at the Sab
bath-school, yesterday.
“January 3—l am getting a little bit
irritable, I notice, and several of my
friends have called my attention to it.
A policeman last evening first mentioned
it to me down town. Guess we can fix
it up for $5 or $6. I shall have to get a
new coat and qerhaps anew nose. I
cannot tell jet as to the nose. When
the swelling goes down, so I can see over
it better, I shall be better able to judge.
At present it shuts out the landscape a
good deal and gives me a sinister expres
sion.
“January 4 —Went out walking in the
woods to day. The air was crisp and
frosty. I strolled over about where I
threw my pipe along in the l itter part of
the year 1883. I did not want the pipe,
and yet, when I found it, after searching
three or four hours, I felt a secret thrill
of pleasure. I do not know why. I
brought it home, thinking it might be
convenient for some one who had no
pipe and who might still be a slave to
the abominable habit. I have in my
mind a party who might thus be benefit
ed. He is a young man of great promise
and none know him but to love him,
none name him but to praise, I will
save the pipe for him. He w ill be pleas
ed and gratified. He is my wife’s first
husband.
When I started out I announced in
this volume that I would quit the use of
tobacco and keep a diary I shall contin
ue to do so, m;iking, however, a slight
change in the arrangement, by which I
shall keep the tobacco and quit the use
of the diary. This diary is now for sale.
Smoking tobacco taken in exchange.
No additional charge for the four day’s
work already done on the work.
The young girl who w T anted a remedy
for a “a ticklish feeling about the face and
mouth,” could probably accomplish her
object by having her fellow shave off his
moustache.
Belva Lockwood, it seems, was a presi
dential candidate “for revenue only.” She
made $135 out other canvass by lecturing
and she says she is satisfied.
WHY THE CONFEDERACY FAILED.
Gen. Beauregard’s article in the Cen
tury Magazine on the battle of Bull Run,
is attracting a good deal of alteAtion. Ac
cording to Gen. Bearfregatd’s idea the
battle of Bull Run should have been fol
lowed by the occupation of Washington
City. Had the eutire force of the south
been concentrated on one point, the
north would have been defeated at the
very outset. The northern people would
have been discouraged, and the South
ern Confederacy would have become a
fixed historical fact. That Gen. Beaure
gard’s fffhn was not adoped was due en
tirely to the jealously of Mr. Davis, who
continued to persecute Gen. Beaure
gard until the war was over, when, of
course, the villiftir still pursued him no
more.
Beauregard's criticism reminds one of
the sad legend of Maud Mijller, or the
still more pathetic tale of tlie dog that
was unable to overtake a rabbit he was
pursuing..
It was just possible that the pld judge
might have led Maud Muller to the hy
menial altar, and perhaps the rabbit had
a more narrow escape than is generally
supposed. Hence it is barely possible
that the Southern Confederacy might
have become one of the nations of the
earth. Be that as it may, there
are very few people, north or
south, that regret at the present time,
the failure to divide up this great Amer
ican nation. Had the Southern Confed
eracy been established, of course slavery
would have been retained as the corner
stone. It is not to be presumed that the
Ethiopian would change his skin, or his
nature to such an extent, as to have ab
stained from liis old custom cf hunting
up the North Star. The southern own
er of a valuable SI,OOO Senegambian,
would most certainly have pursued his
evasive property across the border, and
then of course, there would "have been
music. To keep the niggers in and the
Yankees out, a cordon of forts and a vast
standing army would have been indis
pensable. The north would have had to
follow suit, and a Killkenny cat fight
have been the consequence, the final re
sult of w T l)icli struggle could not have
been otherwise than most disastrous to
both sections.
We think General Beauregard is a lit
tle off in imagining that the capture of
Washington would have ended the war.
Americans north and south, are made of
pretty much the same kind of tough ma
terial. The capture of Richmond at the
beginning of the war would not have
crushed the Confederacy, nor would the
capture of Washington have beaten the
north. The match would have been
fought to “a finish” under any and all
circumstances, and nothing could have
averted the ultimate defeat of the south,
owing to the vastly superior resources of
the north. No soldiers, be they ever so
brave, can fight successfully for any
great length of time when they are out
numbered three to one.
It is now Mr. Davis’s turn to arise and
give his theory of the failure of the dog
to cath the rabbit.
NOSE EATEN OFF.
A young man maned John Naves, liv
ing near here, had an eating cancer on
his face, which had eaten away his nose,
part of his cheek, and extended up nearly
to his eye. It was one of the most angry
eating sores that I had ever seen. His
throat finally became involved to such an
extent that he could only swallow liquid
food. After using all the remedies with
out checking the ravages of the eating can
cer, his general health w’as broken down,
he was confined to his bed, and thought it
to be only a question of time about his
death from the cancer. I put him on
Swift’s Specific as a last resort, and he be
gan to improve with the first dose. His
general health improved at once, and rap
idly; his throat got well; the ravages of
the cancer were soon stopped; it began to
heal around the edges; and after a few
months treatment with S. S. S. he has got
ten entirely w ell. Ilis face is all healed
over with new flesh,and his general health
is excellent. His recovery is wonderful.
M. F. Cbumcey, M. D., Oglethorpe, Ga.
Treatise on blood and skin diseases mail
ed free.
The Swift Specific Cos., drawer 3,
Atlanta, Ga.
CARLYLE ON WEBSTER.
Carlyle met Daniel Webster at break
fast one morning, and has left a portrait
of this noticeable politician: ‘‘l will war
rant liim,“ he says,“ one of the stillest
logic buffers and parliamentary athletes
anywhere to be met with in our world at
present—a grim f tall,proad bottomed,yel
low-skinned man, w T ith brows like precip
itous cliffs, and huge, black, dull, wear
ied, yet unweariable-looking eyes under
them; amorphous, projecting hose and
the angriest shut mouth I have any
where seen. A drop on the sides of the
upper lip is a quite mastiff-like—magnifi
cent to look upon; it is so quiet withal.
I guess I should like ill to be the
man’s nigger. However, he is a right
clever man in his way,-and has a husky
sort of fun iu him, too; drawls in a hand
fast, didactic manner about ■‘our reputfli
ca* institution’ etc., aud so plays his
part.”—
When a subscriber goes into a country
new-spaper office to renew his subscrip
tion, the editor puts on a sanctu m-money
us look.
A PHENOMENAL JOIRNAL.
Probably no paper ever met with such a
quick and generous recognition as has
been accorded to Texas Siftings, the great
humorous and literary weekly. It is now
published simultaneously in Austin, Tex
as; New York, N. Y., and London, Eng
land, and is credited with a circulation of
over 100,000 copies. It is an eight-page,
58-gblumn paper, and contains every year
more than 1,000 original illustrations and
cartoons. Its good stories and humorous
sketches are unexcelled. The
being desirous of increasing its already
large circulation, are offering extraordina
ry inducements to subscribers. The sub
scription price of Siftings is $2.50 a year.
For $2.50 the publishers will send the pa
per one year, and also any one of the fol
lowing premiums; for $1.50 they will send
the paper six months, and, free, any one
of the following premiums. For only $1
they will send Siftings three months, and
any one of the following premiums:
Premium No. I —A cloth bound 608-page
dictionary, with 700 illustrations. Prem
ium No. 2—A cloth bound 512-page book,
“What Every One Should Know.” Prem
ium No. 3—The National Standard Ency
clopedia, 700 pages, 20,000 articles and
over 1,000 illustrations. Premium No 4
Three Books for Ladies. Premium No.
s—Heavys—Heavy gold plated watch chain. Prem
ium No. 6 —Ladies’ plated set ear rings
and pin. Premium No. 7—Thirty com
plete novels and other works,paper bound.
An improved sewing machine, improve
ment on those sold for $45, will be given
to any one getting up a club of twenty
yearly subscriptions. An imported China
tea set (44) pieces will be given to every
one sending a club of 8 yearly subrcrip
tions. Besides this, every subscriber gets
whichever of the above premiums he or
she may select. Fifty other valuable
premiums for club raisers to select from.
Address Texas Siftings Publishing Cos.,
New York, for full illustrated premium
list and sample copy of Siftings.
THE PIERCE BIOGRAPHIES.
Dr. Atticus G. Haygood, of Emory
College, is preparing a volume commem
orative of Dr. Lovick . Pierce and his
son, Bishop George F. Pierce. In un
dertaking this work, Dr. Haygood says .
“I do this because the dead wished it
and their families desire it. The ma
terial for the work is rich and varied,
but it is widely scattered. To be useful
to any it must be brought together.
There are thousands of letters preserved
in desks and hundreds of illustrative in
cidents held in the memory of friends
that would be invaluable to me. I ask
earnestly for both the letters and the in
cidents. I will be thankful for any let
ters from either the “doctor” or the
“bishop;” they both had a trick of say
ing the best things iu the most unex
pected way. Most of their brightest and
wisest sentences occur in short private
letters. If any friend will send me a
copy of Bishop Pierce’s Bible speech,
delivered in New York, I will be grate
ful. The work will not ‘appear at once.’
It will take time; a biographer should at
least have opportunity to try to do his
work well.”
The proposed work could not have
fallen into better hands thou those of
Dr - Haygood. It will surely be a work
of extraordinary interest.
MRS. SWIFFLKR CAVT UNDERSTAND.
when Mr. Swiffler, who is an ardent
Republican, went to supper Wednesday
evening he remarked to his wife:
“Well, my dear, I guess I’ll have to take
a trip.”
“Where?” quickly inquired Mrs. Swifll
er, as she dropped the bread knife on the
floor.
“Why, up Salt River.”
“Well, I’ll go too, then,” and a whole
loaf of bread rolled off the table.
“But you can’t, my dear, this excursion
is for gentlemen only.”
“I guess you won’t go, then. Who’ll
look out for your business? You always
say you can’t leave that when I want you
to go anywhere,” and dash went the
w'ooden bread tray.
“My dear, I’m afraid you don’t quite
understand.”
“Yes, I do. Its a scheme of you men to
go off for a time. I say you can’t go,” and
flip went the cold sliced meat onto the
floor.
“Hold on, my dear, let me explain.”
“Explain be hanged! Explain to the
cat. You shan’t go.”
“This is political business.”
“Don’t care if it is. You’d better let
politics alone. You’re beat now.”
“Yes, that’s what I meant. When a
political party is defeated they say it has
gone up Salt River. See?”
“Then you really don’t go anywhere?”
“Ho.”
“Well, why didn’t you say so?”
“I did try to, but you wouldn’t listen.”
“You’re right. You’re always right.
Women have no business trying to talk
politics. Help me pick these things up,
please.”
The reason the government doesn’t em
ploy women letter carriers is because that
business belongs exclusively to the Mail
service.
A man who saw' an apparition of his de
ceased wife, said he was not scared, but
sort of suprised because he didn’t ex-spec
tre.
Oscar Wilde says he W'rites all his poems
on an empty stomach. Queer kind of a
writing desk.
The shoemaker’s is a heeling art.
THE RAMBLING Rl MINATOR
Seventeen years ago Floyd Alford came
to Bartow county, settled in the south
eastern part of the county and began to
farm. Clearing the land himself he built
a log cabin, starting with no capital but
pluck in the pine woods on hilly land.
With a determination that no failure in
crops could kill, he pushed on, in the face
of everything discouraging, and gradual
ly he began to add to his capital. All the
while an up-hill fight with adverse cir
cumstances kept him knuckling down to
hard work. The years rolled on, and
little by little he was rising. Entering
the saw mill business he made some mon
ey at that. By his own labor he has clear
ed over three lots of 1(50 acres each. He
is now reaping the reward of his unceas
ing labors —he makes from 80 to 150 bales
of cotton per year, and raises his own
meat, has grain and corn in plenty. He
owns land in both Bartow and Floyd
counties in large bodies. No man is a
harder worker, better neighbor or friend,
than Floyd Alford. His neighbors all
like him and look to him as an example
of industry and honesty worthy of emula
tion. Floyd Alford has, like all the hu
man race, his failings, but when a poor
man wants a friend, a neighbor, aid, a
stranger help of any kind, Floyd Alford is
always ready and willing to do his duty.
What he has done others can do, and we
hope that, ere long, the old “Piney Woods”
section may be made to blossom as the
rose by more good men of energy and
perseverance like that of Floyd Alford.
John F. Hardin is another well-to-do
Bartow county farmer. He has, by dili
gence and hard labor, prospered in farm
ing. A few 3'ears since he purchased the
“Calhoun” farm. He has brought it out
very perceptibly, and has enhanced its
value by his common S3nse. He
is one of the most progressive farmers in
the 17th, because he looks for the latest
improved methods of farming and build
ing up his land. The great fault with our
farmers is that they do not put back on
their land what they take from it. Until
they do this their lands will never yield
as they should. Mr. Hardin raises a great
deal of cotton. It is a treat to go over
his farm and see what first class farming
really is. We like to see such men as
Mr. Hardin succeed.
The Allatoona mountains are beautiful
to look upon at present. The leaves with
their many and varied colors are turning
and adding to the sight greatly. The
steep, shaggy mountains, with their many
little valleys beneath, are indeed a sight
to inspire the artist. If some artist would
visit these mountains and take some
views they would sell like hot cakes.
Here, Bill Wikle, is an opportunity for
you to do your many artist friends a favor
and sell Bartow county chromos to your
customers. We hope you will look into
the matter and ere long we can have in
Wikle’s book store some home chromos.
Butter is 25 and 30 cents per pound.
At this price our country dames can make
some money. In New York and Boston
butter sells at from 75 to 90 cents per
pound. If our farmers would keep for
their wives cows, and let them sell butter,
they could bold cotton in the fall until it
“riz.” But they still keep planting cot
ton, and buying meat and corn, until it is
a wonder to me that they are not bank
rupted. They will yet have to learn to
produce everything necessary for the
feeding of the family and stock at home,
and that cotton must be for “ready mon
ey,” before they can make our country a
success as a farming country.
Our negroes are improving rapidly.
Some few are making money. Old Dave
Wade, in the Cassville district, is one of
this class. He started out at the close of
the war to make something for himself,
and, by steady hard work and good man
agement, he soon became able to buy some
land. He then went to work and cleared
off his place, built a cabin and commen
ced to farm. He soon added more land
to that already purchased—his boys, all
hard w'orking fellows, helped him. Al
though he has had a great deal to con
tend with, he still makes money. He
owns about 400 acres of land, and is worth
three or four thousand dollars. His suc
cess is the result of cool and calm judge
ment and hard licks. His wife, Aunt
Mollie, is the best old negro woman I h*ave
ever known. They lived on my father’s
farm just after the W'ar, and for faithful
ness, in every way, she had no superior.
I will never forget her many Christian
virtues. If all negroes w T ere as these two
we could never complain of them.
Kbank.
Many editors’jokes are shear nonsense.
Love is blind, especially if the girl is
rich.
Red is a fast color w’hen it is used in
painting towns.
When a candidate hasn’t a ghost of a
show, there is not much spirit in his can
vass.
When Bulwer called his sweetheart a
poodle, he was evidently a kind of puppy
himself.
When a couple are making love by
moonlight their feeling is one of in-fine
night bliss.
Sings Lilia N. Cushman, a Western
poet:
“Take me within thy arms to-night,
And give me a resting place.”
Much we would like to doit, Lilia, but
our firms are not so elastic; we are afraid
they can’t reach so far. borne other
night, Lilia.
NUMBER 30.
When music, heavenly maid, was ytung,
While yet in early Greece she sung,
The world was pleased to hear each air,
’Cause they’d no blamed piano there.
Lay aside the campaign banners,
Torches, caps, capes, party cheers,
We are through with all this nonsense,
Thank the Lord, for four more years.
NiBBiKD wmiorr money.
nv BILL XYE.
There are a good many singular inci
dents connected with the adminislration
of matrimony, especially as it is dealt out
by a justice of the peace in a young terri
tory. During eight years in my official
capacity as general agent for substantial
justice and durable wedlock I was called
upon a great many times to ladle out my
blessings at so much per bless under very
peculiar circumstances. I’ve done a noble
work as a coupler and splicist. Looking
back over those eight years it seems al
most like a dream. Wherever I was call
ed to go I cheerfully put on my overcoat
and went.
I married people in the light and the
dark of the moon, in the office and at
home, on horseback and afoot, young and
old, tender and tough. I married them all.
I was never inquisitive beyond what the
statute required, and I never had any one
come back to me or complain. It always
seemed to give satisfaction.
The ceremony wasn’t very imposing,
though. I used to think sometimes that
the groom was imposing—on the bride.
(This is a little epigram. I have quite a
number of this style which I am keeping
for the holidays.)
' We had much of the orange-blossom and
swallow-tail coat business in my studio.
I generally invited the couple to sit on the
woodbox till I got through with the sim
ple drunks, and then we would call in the
marshal and the janitor as witnesses aud
proceed.
I remember one day a gentleman named
Chiblain Henry came in from the head of
Chug Water and brought with him a Mex
ican woman commonly called Beautiful
Snow Colorado Maduro. She was of a
rich nut-brown color writh a wealth of ra
vi n hair, which she combed whenever the
sign was right, but it hadn’t been right
for a good while. She was dressed plainly
but neatly, in an old lap-robe caught back
with safety pins and held in place by
means of a broad horse-hair cinch, which
had been an heirloom in the family. She
was about forty-eight years old, and I ask
ed her in a bantering tone if she had heiv
parents’s consent. She did not understand
me, as she only knew a little broken cigar
box English.
Thinking perhaps she might be more
familiar with the early history of her race,
I asked, her if she remembered Pizarro,
but she only laughed and displayed her
tottering ruin of a mouth.
I believe she w r as the most sorrow'ful
looking hulk I ever saw. She ivas rather
thin in flesh, and her nose looked like the
breastbone of a sand-hill crane.
Her union with Chilblain Henry did
not seem to saturate her with a great wild
joy. She stood there through the impos
ing ceremony with her cute little Mexican
feet just peeping out from under the heavy
drapery of her lap-robe and mechanically
answered the legal questions propounded
to her in a rich, deep and resonant tone of
voice. Somehow I could not help won
dering if she did not love another. Per
haps she had given her young heart to
some neighboring greaser and smiled on
him, perhaps, and it had throw n him into
convulsions from which he never had re
covered.
When I got through Chiblain Henry sa
luted his bride. I had heard before that
he w r as a very brave man. Then he cor
dially invited me to ditto. I told him that
it might occasion talk. He said he didn’t
want any foolishness or funny business.
He allow'ed that a magistrate had the
right to salute the bride, and it looked
kind of outre to waive it. He would not
pay me, he said, unless I saluted the bride.
“Never mind the pay, Henry,” I said
“between old friends; so it don’t matter!
Hand it in any time: I don’t care if you
never pay it, but to tell you the truth,
Henry, I’m afraid to kiss Colorado Madu
ro. lam a man of strong impulses, and I
do not dare to salute her. When I caught
her in my arms I might forget my own
home ties and kidnap your fair young
bride and dash away with her to the moun
tains. I know' my own failings, Henry
better than you do. It wouldn’t be right,
and it w r ould certainly make talk. How
ever, if you insist, I will give my proxy
to a friend of mine, w r ho is totally blind,
and w r ho is accustomed to all kinds of
horrors.”
He went aw r ay with his wife, intending
to come back and kill me, be said; but al
ter I had stayed in the office behind the
fire-proof safe for two days, with the
locked, some friends came and told me
Henry had done the w'hole thing on a bet
that he W'ould get married and that I
wouldn’t charge him a cent -
The London preachers have been dis
cussing the question of clerical dress.
In their investigations they h ive discov
ered that the title of Reverend is quite
modern, and that even the white tie and
black gown, which were supposed to be
so antiquarian in their authority, are on
ly a slight modification of the dress worn
by all classes of gentlemen in the last
generation. Several clergyman write in
favor of the abolition of the distinctive
dress altogether, while others profess to
give instances where the badge has prov
ed serviceable.
People ate alieady engaging accom
modations at the hotels in Washington
for inaugration week.