Newspaper Page Text
BQOMVILLE HOMELETS.
[Copyright, 10CA, by 0. B. Lewis.]
Booinville ought to have *ft fire tie-
llmcnt. At fte present time the
dy conveniences for fighting the lurid
troyer are n stepladder and an old
ueket without a handle. Let us not
ake up when It Is too late.
We received a coil a day or two since
in Mr. Sam Norton, who lost a dol-
r on Main street a few weeks ago and
» not Recovered It up to date. lie
ay never recover It, but be has the
nsclatlon of knowing that the dls-
cnest finder will not go to heaven
-ag with the rest of us.
It now transpires that Mr. John Grts-
•lob’s year-old baby did not swallow
pair of scissors, as stated In cur last
sue. VThut It got away with was half
doeeu tacks and a brass thimble, but
doctor anticipates no malign re-
ults. Boomvllk-cherubs have healthy
-petltes. , . rr.tf
The editor of this paper, while on his
•ny to the postofflee the ether day,
-as picked o£' bis feet end thrust head
first Into an empty barrel In front of
Strong’s grocery. The ‘thruster was
Abner Green, who-bad been drinking
J was In a Jokeful mood. We trust
It may not happen again. The position
was undignified.
We arc sorry to sny that we missed
the Item last week about n cow breafi
ll ; through I >cl ’ .g Glass river
bridge and breaking her leg, but we
■ hi time to announce that It wus ber
li ft hind leg nod that she is owned by
k-'nrmer Savage. He thicks he can
amputate the leg' and save her life.
Among those who remembered the
straggling but undaunted editor lust
week wus Mrs. Jason Williams. She
biuugln us In a [x>und of butter and »
basket of potatoes, and could sin* have
M i n the fours In our wife’s eyes ns we
tarried the luxuries borne she would
b.ive ft It amply rewarded. We love to
■Li- au otiluir, uad r. e It our subscctb-
era, „ • \l. Q r id,
_
Crncl CTivtstop-h*..
There swm to have been - nothing to
appeal to la the "Emperor” Chris
toi"tie's nature. Bravn-y, hlnnilltji. nil
alike failed to touch hiut. Lie biul oo
bowels of mercy. He was one duy
on the battlements of Haiti with a
youth, who, perhaps presuming mi past
favors. In some manner displeased
biiii.' The drop froth those sheer walls
is li.COO feet to the plain below. “Von
are. of ooutw. obem to die." said Flirts-
Uijihe. hut i will b»- kind to you. Vou
l| h -c e p of deaths, Either
yon throw yourst'li over here or the
soldiers shall shoot you.”
'I lie young man chose to dug blmaelf
inio space. But by n miracle hi- fed
among some trees or bushes on the
cliff side and so escafted with a broken
arm. He gatheroil himself up some
how and presented himself agalD hw
fore the emperor "Your bidding has
been done, sire," hi said “Yea, ir
has.” remarked Cbris'oplip. "and I
am very much Interested to find ttrat
you survive. Oblige me by trying If
you can do iv again!"—“Where Black
Rules White, Haiti," by Prichard.
HIS FIRST RECOGNITION.
n>» Tm-tiiiiK Point In tbe Career Of
Nathaniel Himgiuriie.
The first reading of ‘The Scarlet
Letter” has been told In T. W. Hlg-
glnson’s book of essays, ‘‘Contempo
raries.” The reading was given to
the author's dearest critic, bis wife.
During the entire winter when be was
at wofk upon the book he seemed op
pressed by some secret anxiety,
"There was a knot la his forehead
all the time," said Mrs. Hawthorne.
Finally one. evening he went to her
nnd said that bo bad written something
which he would like to read aloud.
The work amounted to very little, but
still be would like to read It AH that
evening be read, but as the romance
was unfinished at bedtime bis wife
made no comments, knowing that he
disliked criticism until one had beard
the whole.
The next night he road again, and
now her suspense grew so unendurable
that lu the midst of a moving aeeue
she sank from her low stool to the
floor, pressed her hands to her cars
and declared ..that ahe could not bear
to bear It
Hawthomo put down the manuscript
and looked lit ber in amazement
“Do you really feel It so much?" he
asked. “Then there must be something
la It."
The next day the manuscript was de
livered to the publisher, anil on the
following morning Mr. James T. Felds,
the publisher, appeared at the author's
door. When he was admitted, he caught
the little boy of the family In his nrme
rttvd asked, “You splendid little follow,
do you know what a father you have? 1
He tind sat up all night to read the
manuscript and bad posted out to
Salem In the early morning. After hit-
interview with the publisher Haw
thorne came down stairs with a firm
step and walked about, his face lllu
mined by now hope and vigor. Tbo
world had found biui out. Recognition
was at the door. ......
t’t* Hn-aniii'ciii!i|tjim,
Fair.Shopper (to ne.~if-.;act. who has
Bl own in-r every piece of goods in
Block)—'Weli. I don’t see anything bore
tlmt suit.-i me. I’ll go down to Yard &
Stuff’s and see what they haw.
Bales tuna (eagerly)—Here's the card
of one of tJ»elr assistants. Witl you
kindly get him to wait on you?
Fair Shopper (pleasantly) — Ah, a
friend o; yours, I snmioee?
Salesman—No. my greatest enemy.—
London Fuji.
inotusirtuiiv.
“See here!” exclaimed the shopper,
excitedly, "there's a man Just dropped
dead in that bargain crush!*'
“How InopjKjrtune!" cried the floor
walker. "We have not yet opened our
undertaking department" -*■ Philadel
phia Press.
FRANCE THE TEUTONIC.
Ports ot thr R.-pablfr Are ss Mach
German an tbo Peth?vlKDd,
The nortburn third of France and
half of Belgium are today more Too
tonic than tin- south of Germany. This
should not occasion surprise when we
remember the Incessant downpour of
Teutonic tribes during tbe whole his
toric period. It was u constant pro
cesslcn of Goths from all points ot the
rompasa—Franks, RurguwUuiia and
others.
France was entirely overran by the
Frank.i, with tlio cxrcpfkw of Brittany,
by the middle of the sixth century. All
through the middle ages this pert of
Franca was German in louguagu aa.l
customs as well. The very itiime’ of
tlje country is Teut'-nlc. H has the
same origin ns Franconia, in southern
Germany, in 81.2 the or,uadi of Tours,
a way down south, crUeiticd that every
bishop should preach iwih in the Bo
manic nnd the Teutonic langtiagos.
The Franks reserved Cl or. mu;
speech 400 years after (its conquest
Charlemagne was a l remain. His
courtiers were all G-rmans. He lived
and governed fioin outside the limits
of modern Fta::c<*. The Attic the yen
uttered an ethnological truism, whan.
In th-e course of the French iv volution,
he cried cut again.;* the Fvcr.cti arls
tocrocy. “Let us send them bock to
their German marshes wbwioe they
camel”—Ixmdoa. Espi'cas.
Tho SertRTi In
"Yott foreigners," ea.vs a Mexican
woman Quoted !>y a rorieapendent of
the Boston Transcript, “nrc so silly
with servants. You come here nnd ex
claim, 'How awfully the Mexicans
treat their servant si* find tiuo you give
them Iron !if-ds nnd mntG'cmistuffed
with wool, whore with ta> tiiey haw
to Ik* down to s!<h*x> on t);r straw
rants, as ts beat fur them. You think
It nice «o give them ribbons for their
hair and neck. and f.m.v.. of you put
the women tn corsets and moke them
wear cups a ad aprons! 'lids turns the
tieuda of die young women, mid they
thick they are real senorns (ladles;
ami grow Impudent. That Is how you
sped oitr servants, who, alien they get
ufigry with its, talk up loudly and say
they will go nnd five la u foreign
family! Alt, you foreigners ore so
j Fhorulgbtcd. Boon you will «(*»> bow
| there are no more g<xxl. loyal, old fash-
| ioned servants! You pet a race witlcli
I needs firmness and discipline, eta 1
; kindness, not pampering."
A Grand M«K»o»r.
I A highland girl, who had been lu
service in Dundee ami had pone to n
I place farther south, called upon her
I old mistress on her way north to visit
ber friends.
She was invited to take tilt-cer with
the family, and her master coked a
blessing cm the meal a* usual, when
the girl salil;
“My, malr-ter, ye mnuri im’u a gran'
memory. That's the grace ye said
WwL'r\ i Vv'SS tUrTt' ttii ycUrG Dt*» *—
Louduc Telegraph.
CM For Did 'Envelopes.
Rigid economy Is the mother of ac-
cnuiulatlon. One of the busier busi
ness men of this city, with offices on
Broadway, never purchased n scratch-
book la bis life and never wastes a
fresh piece of paper on a memorandum
or a column of Ugures. Kvery envel
ope thut comes In bis mall la sliced
apart, back from front, and the front,
or address side, is preserved for use.
The Inside forms n clean, smooth
sheet HL, by «H4 Inches. One cf the
millionaires of Boston made his start
by saving empty nail kegs and selling
them back to tbe naUmakevs for 10
cents each In trade. His clerks were
accustomed to kicking In the staves
and burning them In the stove.—New
York Fress. - ..j.-
Located the ftolae,
«Y little 4-year-old was taken on
a visit to grandmamma lu the country
There for tbe first time he had a view
of a cow. He would stand and look on
while the man milked and ask all tnon
tier of quest Iona, lu this way he learn
ed that the long crooked branches on
the cow's head were horns. Now, the
little fellow knew of only ono kind of
horn, and a few days after obtaining
this Information, hearing a strauge kind
of bellowing noise In the yard, he ran
out to ascertain Its couse. In a few
minutes he returnee! with wonder and
delight depleted on his countenance, ex
claiming: “Mamma, mammal Oh, do
come out beret The cow's blowing
ber hornst"—Exchange.
The Way to'A’tu StrenKth.
Tbe Romans won their empire by at
tacking their enemies one by one. Be
sides this, they did not attack a new
enemy until they had couquered tbe
old enemy. They went farther still
and like the Euglish In conquering In
dia used their lute enemies, nnd this
la what we should do In learning and
practicing games and athletics. It Is
of little use to try to-conquer the whole
empire at once. First conquer a part
and mate ft your own Then proceed
to Q second part and conquer that:
and. If you eon, let the parts which
you have already conquered help yon
to conquer fresh parts.— Eustace H.
Mills tu Saturday Evening Foet
The Counterfeit Kill.
The average counterfeit bill shows
better work ou tlie right bnnd side than
on the left. Moo* care Is taken to
make the work accurate, becatfse un
less a man Is left ha uticd It Is custom
ury In counting a pile of bills to hold
the left ends down and turn np only
the right ends. Tbe assistant lu the
city banks now reverse# the process
and turns tire bills with his left baud.
Stylish.
"V.'hat’s dem spota on.you all’s fort**
bead?" asked Mr. Mrastus Plukley.
‘"My wife done gimme dem," answer
ed Mi Simpkins Collidewer. “Dat'e
<k* Btyliahei’ kin’ o’ decorations. Detn’s
pokei dots."- Washington Star.
„ —• Butted flint. *"
Railway Official (traveling Incog, on
tits own line)—They «oy there lias been
oorao fuult found with the lamps on
these trains. L)o you seo anything
wrong with them?
l*»8seujjer~No. sir. Od the con
trary, they on* exactly the kind ol
lani{>s 1 like to see used.
Railway Official (highly pleasod)-
l prcBorue yon are o professional man?
]*Hssenger—Yes, sir. 1 aw an ocu
list - Loudon Fun.
A PonutMe Iteasoa.
Freddie's father find Just l>cen strug
gling with un old fashioned burt-mt.
and retiring disheartened from an un
successful effort to oi»vn ooe of its com
parUnents lip moved to the tfgiudow
and looking out upuu the lowering sky
exclaimed;
"M's mighty strange that tbe weather
bureau can’t give us a change of
weather.”
“Maybe,” shyly interposed Freddie,
“they cau't open tho bureau drawers."
srWeekly BouqncL
Ad rice.
“Young man.^sald Benafor Sovghnm,
“If you want to succeed In politics
never break your word.”
"But are there not times when It Is
Impossible to keep a promise?”
“To be sure. But you must make
your arrangements eo that you don’t
break the promise yourself. Put the
blame on somebody el3a.”—Washing
ton Star.
In St Helena there are descendants
of colored meu who were brought tn
(he Island lno years ago. They are as
biaefi a. i. ir distant cousins on the
coast of Quiuett.
ic.-o.
“I burl the lie back in your tortb!’' be
cried.
Which was quite appropriate, for
they. too. were false. — PhlUficlphlu
j North American.
Ko Trouble.
“I suppose,” said, the visitor, “It's
like pulling teeth to get any money
out of your husband these days?”
“Oh.” chipped In little Tommy, be
fore his toother could speak, “ma don't
have any trouble pullin ’ teeth. She
Just takes ’em out aDd puts ’em in &
glass.”— Philadelphia Record.
H»r Sinaia?.
Faiher-You heard my daughter sing
Uet night?
Artist—Yes.
Fatbpr—Did yon observe tbo blrdllke
quality of her uotes?
Artist—Ah-er-there are so many
fibula of birds, doo’t you know)—De
troit Free Preas.
Dop't dresa for show. Tbe thinnest
«oap bubbler- wear the gaudiest colors
—Chicago News.
NO BUSINESS.
Can be properly run without being
Advertised,
And no advertising pays better than
newspaper advertising. The news
paper goes into tho homes of the
* people and is read through. If bar
gains arc offered, they make a note
of it.
TIE SEACEH-LISi
a first-class advertising medium,
As it is rend by tbe people very
generally in this county and by
many in adjoining .counties.
And work up your business to a
payin point.
Job
Our book aud job office is busy l.urn-
ing'ont first-class job work all the
time,.and we propose to give sitis-
faction at reasonable prices.
If you need anything in the. jut*
printing line, writ** to us or gee us
.before placing your order,
It will pay you.
SJEDSPEOTFULdAlL
THE SEAEOH-LISHf.