Newspaper Page Text
fhe Search-Light, a little nonsense.
BAINBRIDGE, MARCH 23, 1331.
AT TWILIGHT*
A racking horn, with « painted mu*.
All battered and broken with play,
Woa left with a fuzzy woolen dog
Juat at the close of day.
"If I were a thoroughbred, my friend,**
Said the borae With the painted manat
**!M have a pedigree to reach
To Boston and back again l
**Mv rraeter would feed me on mtgnr and OCtt|
Gf riding he'd never tire.
An ! I shouldn't be l.'ft to etand like this,
Alone by the nursery fire l**
‘‘And If I were alive,*' Mid the fuzzy dog,
"I'd like to have you know,
Thrre’cJ not be a purer Skye than ma
in a!l of Ilia ken ad ahow.
"I'd wear a collar of ailvvr Mia,
With a ribbon of beautiful blue.
And I'd sleep on a eual.'oti of softest tUk ,
And not in a a.ablv, like you!" *|
The noreery fire Vat burning low,
’.then a wee I1»tle man in whit# ;
Care pattering In at the open door
To Lias Ida toy* good night. j
Be tenderly ktuaed Ida painted hone. j
"You know 1 love you!" lie aaid.
Th' ’i he gatliared the dog up cloae In hla ans«
And carried him off to bedt
—Helen E. Wright.
COLDEST SPOT OX EARTH.
There are no points in Europe
where the eold records of America
are eclipsed, but in Asia our lowest
records are thrown completely in
the shade. Siberia lias t.iie coldest
wcrvl.er known any where in the
world. At Werehojansk, Siberia,
90.4 degrees below zero was observ
ed in January, 1888, which gets
away below anything ever known in
the world before or since. At that
J oint the average temperature for
auunry is nearly 04 degrees bolow.
This town is situated nt an eleva
tion of JV'O fnn* ulmvfl tllC level of
tlic sea, and during Hie entire whi
ter the weather is nearly always
culm and clear. Perhaps the major
ity of people suppose that tho cold
est weather in tho world is nt the
north pole, but reliable observation i
made by explorers disproves this
theory completely.
SYMPATHETIC ORGANS. 1
Nature often shows her kind
helpfulness by bringing healthy or
gans to the relief of diseased ones. |
If one kidney loses its functional
power, the other will enlarge and do
the work of both. If both are more
or less affected, the vessels of tho
skin may come to their aid and
pour out on the surface what would
otherwise cause fata) blood poison
ing. On the other hand, when tho
pores are stopped by u chill tho kid
neys come to tho rescue and do a
largo part of the skin's' work. This
. explain^ why it is so dangerous for
■i-b* iA; r from diseased kidneys
to take cour~-
Vaccinating an Olnlurato but ,
Farsighted Girl.
• “On my right arm,.please,” said j
the sweet young thing.
The physician who was arranging ,
the vaccine points looked surprised. :
The mother, who was supervising ’
the proceeding, seemed even more
astonished.
“You mean your left arm, Clara,”
she asserted.
“No, I don’t; I mean mv right
arm,” answered the willful girl.
“But it will annoy you so much
less on your left arm, insisted the
mother.
The girl blushed, but shook her
hend.
“You dou’t understand,” she
said.
“1 confess I don’t,” admitted the
mother.
“Very likely that is because you
were not vaccinated at a tirnp when
you were engaged to he married,”
suggested the girl. “Harold has
been vaccinated on his left arip, so
I—or—as a mere matter of con
venience, don’t you see, when you
consider the juxtaposition in 6ome
circumstances”—
Ilcre tho mother and the physi
cian made a mental diagram of the
customary situat ion when two hearts
aro beating as one and quickly saw
that the girl was exceptionally
farsighted.—Chicago Post.
WOT QCITB SURD.
HOW A DLTTRHFLY SLEEPS. '
The buttertly invariably goes to
deep head downward. It folds nnd
contracts its wings to the utmost.
The effect is to reduce its she and
shape to a narrow ridge, hardly dis
tinguishable in shape nnd color
from the seed heads on thousands of
stems around. The butterfly also
sleeps on tho top of tlio stem. In
tho morning, when tho sunbeams
warm them, all these gray nied
sleepers on the grass tops open their
wings, and the colorless bonnets are
starred with n thousand liviug flow
ers of purest azure.
TUB FESTIVAL OF FOOLS.
Tlie “festival of fools” was a fea
ture of each now year with the Pa
risians. It began ou the 1st of Jun-
uary nnd continued for some duys,,
during which all sorts of absurdities,
and indoconcies were licensed. Tliis
feast was not celebrated after the
latter part of tho thirteenth centu
ry . Fools or licensed jesters were
kept at court up to the time of
Charles I (1625), but the ancient
feast was never revived by the peo-
*>’••*
f KEEPING FLOWERS FRESH.
'A Japanese plan by which cat
flowers may be made to last an ab
normally long time is to burn the
ends of the stems with a piece of
wood; not with a match, be it ob
served, for the sulphur would be in
jurious to the fiowern.
The Japanese, who are great flow
er lovers, say that the charring
process enables the water to pene
trate the stem and thus sustain the
flower. Whatever be the reason, one
is glad to know of any plan which
will prolong the life of flowers.—
Homo Notes.
r v ■ ■ ■— « '
Even the highest personages In Tui-
key are not exempt from suspicion
Their movements are watched and rv
ported to the palace by an army oi
spies who swarm In orcry quarter.
Shopman—Let me see, madam,
what size do you take?
Lady—1 think it’s fours—or it
may be threes— But, there, I am
not quito sure, it may be twos or—
WHAT MRS. B. SAID.
“If anv oue should call this aft
ernoon, Mary, say that I am not
well,” said a mistress to her newly
engaged servant. “I’m afraid 1 ata
a little too much of that rich pud
ding for lunch, nnd it or something
else has brought on a severe head-
ochc. I’m going to lie down.”
A few minutes later the mistress,
from her room near the head of the
stairs, heard Mary sav to two aristo
cratic ladies who hud called for the
first timo, “Yos’m, Mrs. Browne is
at homo, but she irto so much pud
ding for lunch she had to go to
bed.”—Tit-Bits.
THE OLD. OLD STORY.
Smith — Time is a wonderful
change artist.
Jones—What is it now?
Smith—You read of that bank
clerk who recently got away with a
lot of money?
Jones—Yes.
Smith—Well, I remember when
he played on an amateur baseball
team a few years ago and was so
conscientious ho wouldn’t even steal
a base.'—Chicago News.
ANOTHER RECORD BROKEN,
“Good evening, Miss Flitters.
How do? I expected to be called
out of town today, but wasn’t, and
os ! have seats for the theater I
thought you might like to go. It
is droadfully late for an invitation,
1 know, but”—
“What timo is it, Mr. DrawlerP”
“It is 20 minutes past 7.”
“I will be ready in five minutes.”
And she was.—Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
TUB LIETTENANTW TALE.
On the sands along the beach at
Manila we spied a double almond—
the beautiful native girl and I.
“Shall we eat a philopcna ?” 1
asked gavly.
At litis I thought she would fall
to the ground from sheer fright, so
•clorless grew her cheeks. Proba-
ily she thought 1 was a madman,
irolmhly a cannibal—who knows?
-IndiuuapolU Sun.
Belgium fields'the world's record In
canals, having XV> miles, which carry
8,000,000 tons a year.
ON THE STAIRS.
An Interrupted Proposal and
ru Unexpected Finale.
“Ti’fc to good of yon, Miss IJol-
mins, to con.-eiit to sit out this—
Certainly I'll lit you pass, Jor.es.
Don't mention it.
“As 1 wn$ going to say, Miss ldol-
minc, I’ve been trying to find a
chance to see you alone, oh, for sev
eral centuries, it seems to mo, be
cause I have something very partic
ular to tell— Oh, you want to get
down ? Certainly, Jones. Can’t you
find her?
“And it’s awfully good of you.
Miss* Idohniuo, to miss this dunce
just for me, and I do appreciate it,
and'I hope it’augurs— See bore,
Jones, are you getting paid for run
ning up and down those stairs?
“Oh, Miss Idolmino, i§ it roallj
only because you arc too tired to
dance this time? Isn’t there uny
other reason, just the tiniest little
bit of— Yes, confound you! I sup
pose you do have to get down again,
Jones.
“What I’ve been longing to say,
Miss Idolmine — Mabel — is that 1
love— Say, Jones, I’il kill you if—
Well, there, get on up if you have
to, and stay up, darn it!
“No, Miss Idolmine—Mabel—1
must say all now.' I cannot stop.
You must know how I love you, nnd
when you consented to sit out this
dance with me 1 knew I could no
longer live in this agony of doubt,
but learn from your own sweet
lips— Slide down the banisters if
you’ve got to get down, Jones, you
blasted idiot!
“Mabel, oh, Mabel, my love, my
darling— No, I won’t hush! Look
up, sweetheart, and let me read in
those glorious orbs tho sweetest, no
blest confession ever— Jones, if
ever 1 get. a cluincc I’ll butcher you.
You don’t want to go up? What do
you want, then ? Mabel—Miss Idol-
mine? Why, what—engaged? You?
I—I—ah, blast it, somebody keep
me from biting holes in the carpet.
But I — cr—1 congratulate you,
Loth of you, of course.” — Smart
Set.
AN ABSCNTMINDED SECRET ARY.
Speaking of absentminded men
one day, Senator George Vest told
the following story:
“1 was at a mass meeting once
upon a time when we discussed a
resolution of some kind or other
for several hours. Finally one of
tho delegates began a speech which
wandered all over creation. Some
one interrupted him with the re
mark that he ought to confine his
remnrks to tho resolution.
“‘Yes,’ said Judge Phillips, who
was presiding, ‘the gentleman must
speak to the resolution/
“ ‘Let us have tho resolution
read,’ suggested some one in the
meeting.
“Judge Phillips stooped down
and whispered to the absentminded
secretary. ‘Bead the resolution,’ he
said.
“‘H’rn?’ queried the secretary,
waking up. ‘What resolution ?’
“‘The one we'havovbeen discuss
ing for several hours,’ replied Judge
Phillips.
“The resolution wus hunted for
high and low, but could not be
found. On the secretary’s desk thero
was-a bit of paper which looked as
if it had been nibbled by a mouse.
It was all that remained of the res
olution. The absentminded secreta
ry had eaten tho rest.”—Washing
ton Post
Nu Fnrully to Boast Of.
Miss Carolina—-Is Mr. Burbank a
man of fnnilly? '
Mina Virginia—Not that anybody
knows of.
Miss Carolina—Somebody told me
tknt be la tbv father of acveral chil
dren.
Miss Virginia—Fins a bouse full of
them, but he can't trace their lineage
beyond his common old grandfather.—
Denver News.
FOR THE LITTLE ONES.
K<w a La# Earned the -*fone;i
)y Fur a. Vacation Trip.
An 11-year-old boy of Lowell,
Mass., whose name is Weaiey Court-
earned enough money during his
last summefV vacation to buy a po
ny and cart and jpay_ the expenses of
an “across flie continent trip foT
himself and his fatlx?r. 1'fnBeis G.
Court, father of tli.g. hfl£«.W£.thai-
lie has been”a money maker since
he was fi yearn did At the close of
school last spring -maTTr fff'the boys
in Lowell erected canopies at the
street corners for the purpose of
selling soft drinks to passersby.
Weslcv had one oi these stands, but
he was not satisfied with the*income
from it. He sold out his shop for $-5
and increased his capital by $10,
which lie .borrowed from his father 1
at 0 per cent. Then Wesley went to
the managers of each of the many
shoe factories,manufacturing chem
ists, etc., and said that he would
give them 20 cents for every dollar
of his income for tlifc exclusive priv
ilege of selling root beer, lemonade,
etc., on their premises at lunch
time. In nearly every instance the
privilege was granted, in most cases
jhe managers refusing to take arty
money from him. In two weeks lie
had paid back the $10 he had bor
rowed from his father and had six
boys working for him. He paid the
bovs liberally.
^Tbe. Jad actually startled his fa
ther hv the amount of money he
realized- “Ho bought himself a suit
of clothes and then n pony and
cart,” said his father, “and before 1
was fully aware of it ho had money
enough in bank to take us both to
California.”
This winter Wesley substituted
hot coffee, tea and milk for the coo!
drinks sold in the summer.—Amer
ican Boy.
PAPER GAMES.
Hoops covered with paper make
excellent targets for various kiml.-
of shooting, according to space
available and age of children. Small
newspaper pellets can hurt no one
provided they'a re not screwed up too
tight, and rings of red and blue and
black on the newspaper will coun!
the Samoa's the rings on an archery
target. Castles ran lie besieged by
knights in paper helmets and
shields and defended by a brave gar
rison behind paper ramparts, and
paper missiles shaped like bean
lags can be hurled with truly dead
ly effect from one party of warriors
at the other.
What more delightful for the
children than n couple of newspa
pers fastened on to the nursery or
even the dining room table with
four drawing pins which the babies
cannot pull out and a pencil for
each little mite—if blue and red so
much the better—so that they may
scrawl “anything we like” there.
CHANCE FOR BOY RA* CATCHERS.
The boys of Stockholm have a
chance to earn 6ome money. The
city has offered a bounty of 2 1-2
cents on every rat killed, so say the
cable dispatches. The reason for
this is to prevent the plague from
gaining a foothold in Stockholm
and to chock the spreading of the
disease, as it is believed that rats
and other animals carry the con.ta-
i ;ion. The bounty on the rat’s head,
jowevnr, gives occasion for some
interesting information regarding
this rodent. There is no country in
tho world whore some species of rat
does not exist, but the common
house or Norway rat is the most
widely known of all. lie has even
taken up his abode in tlie islands of
the Pacific. He is an expansionist.
He sturted his career in the west of
China, that being his native home,
but he has followed man wherever
man lias gone. The common mouse
also hails from Asia.
Tln»« It W«i Killed.
Particular Diner—ThlB llsh, Walter-
Truthful Walter (promptly)—Was
killed this morning, sir.
Particular Diner (approvingly)—Yon
did quite right to kill It because It
had been on shore so long that It must
have forgotten how to swtiu, and
would bane been drowned If It bad
ever gone to sen again.
Hosted I* Spite of the Rale.
Collector—I am afraid to present this
dun Id person to Mr. Grump. Had we
uot better forward It by uiailT
Manager—Yes. but remember this Is
the only lustanee wncre we will violate
our motto, ‘Tost No Bills.’*—Ohio State
Journal.
LOV^'?WELCOM£.
•Tto only • *,Wck In the dfstawe,
Tt» only » Vu on tho eon, ;
But now I iun tinging and uniting
To wckboic 4y lore bedt | 0 r .io.
tie left heart true and lead*
A fortune to Pete o’er the sain; “
I seem noWto j jjur him repeating J
In accents so ijneet that leLata:
Goodby, my loved ary goodby, my d.-r'in— ■
Though I mutt tanuyoa my fwano i.T.. I
Sty you'll be faithful. Soring «j.j iimient- I
Say tlist I’m leaving** true beau "
Mo* newer tho soft breeze ft bmrtn. .
Ttat bn* > little era it to the land/ '
And soon <* too ugaU I’ll be sUntbjg r
beside nt dear lore hand Jn has? ;
And now into port the is steering, J
1 see my Pear boy once again, i
AS I open -A ' urns to ’irfitig.
I amilii.. | change that
Welcome, my Id ed one, welcome, my dun*!
Timo hss not|chohgod my food love (to tSI
Jf you still lord me, Sty you ore willing "
jMvver again do ream far o’er the see.
il —Wotusn’i ua 1
DEATH IN HOTELS,
4
Peculiar View of the Siit
Taken by Proprietors.
had an experience in a Net
Yor& hotel which struck me at i
timer as being rather odd
brought vividly t my mind tfcj
honu|essncss of hotel life,” said i
hotel (hoarder to a friend who had
him ill his home for dinner.
friend') of mine died in, tho hotell
where we both had rooms. The finj
thing it thought of wus a bit .
crape hr some other emblem oi|
mournrW; for his door. So I
to the iU rk and asked him if thejl
had any -mourning emblems in th|
ho.use.
“He leaked at me in amazementl
and said 'be had been in the hoicll
business ipr 20 years and never hall
that question asked him before.I
Then 1 asltcd him if there would bel
any objee ion to my buying sonw-l
thing of tl(<e kind and putting it on]
my dead fr (end’s door. I
•“Certoii'ly thero would,’ he re-1
plied. ‘It wav.Id never do. It would!
ulurm tho ou.er boarders; might i
well stick a-lh'carlet fever sign on |
ihe door. Artel.' he added in a pecul
iar manner, ‘jVLusc do not have your |
friend’s fimeVi;! from the hotel if]
you can help tt.’
“ ‘Why not. If I asked.
“*I don’t ip'.ow/ he answered. I
‘but somehow 'guests don’t expect ]
people to die i i a Imtcl. Of cour-a |
they do die, but it i3 usually unex
pected.’ |
“I reckon he arcs right. I don’t
know why anyb Idy should want to |
die deliberately i.V a hotel.”
VVhnt I' :,rt Her.
Mrs. Heartless- lliist to think my
huslmud fell ami brake—find liiot:—
Mrs. Hlmpytlieti W~There, dear: I
heard nil about It. 'Ithe poor mnu broke
bis leg. It’s a great 1 : aUtk-tiou, I know,
but— V
Mrs. Hi-artless—Cb. I dhln’l ciosn
that! You haven't U< ju-d the worst. Ho
was currying iny «n Jw Venetian vase
when he fell, and b.Oke It too.—Ohio
State Journal.
Urenklnit the N<tv-» Gently.
There Is a innn In fyjverpool who I*
renowned for his linp-a ttphable calm
ness ou every Iniuginal |e occasion. One
day he strolled leisure's Into llu- olUrt
of a friend.
“I have Just hud a <?iat wftu yew
wife." he said 4>y way of. beginning.
"Why, I didn't knaxif she was 1®
town.” >
“Oh. she wasn't In town.” replied th'
other. “I culled nt your I'pnse."
"I didn't know she wtrs .receiving to
day." snld the husband v.-ith some sun-
prise. “1 thought she had A headache.”
“She didn't mention it tp me," said
the oaltn man. “There was ai crowd at
the house.”
“A crowd!” echoed the hufpnnd.
“Yes,” went on the calm turn. “They
came with tho Are engine:”
“The tire engine!" gasped the hus
band.
“Ob. It’s all right.” went on the calm
man. “It's all ont now. It wasn't much
of a fire, but 1 thought you'd like to
know U.”—London Tit Bits.
Katnl Gluttony.
A messenger employed at the rollwny
station In I’raga. Warsaw, made a bet
that be would eat at one meal five
fowls, a Jar of soar cabbage, two mel
ons. ten pounds of fruit, six cucum
bers. wltb bread, aud. besides, he
would drink a gallon of vodkl (native
splrltt. six bottles of beer and throe
siphons of soda water. A numerous
company assembled to witness the
feat, wblcb was successfully accom
plished. and the bet wns paid. Tbe
mnu, however, was found dead In bed
next morning.—Loudon Standard.
A Nervy Mnxenm MnnnRrr,
Sarah Bernhardt said Unit one night
during a visit to America when she
was playing “Jeanne d'Arc." she hurt
her knee with a rusty nail. "The wonutl
gave me considerable pain aud trou
ble.” she said, "and It wns thought that
a slight operation might possibly Is- re
quired. This fact appeared In ihpjln 1 *^
I-opera nnd a day or two afterward 1
received a telegram from the manngef
of n museum In Chicago saying that H
It was necessary to amputate my leg
might be please bare It. He addipd he
would drape It if desired.”
Temperate.
Grimsby—So you want to marry my
daughter, 8lrl What are your princi
ples '! An- you temperate T
Hlodgely—Temperate! Why. I am so
strict that it gives me puin even to find
my boots tlgbt.-Wck-ile-Cp.
“An umbrella Is a good deal like 8
fellow's hair.” remarked the observer
of events and things. “If you lose It.
you sehiom get It back again."
lu Japan handkerchiefs arc made of
paper, cords are twined f’-t-rr- It o’-' 1
Imitation® of t’ordova leather are skih'
fully contrived from it.