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TaeS jctrcii" BAINBRIDGE, APRIL 18, 1S01 n i'U\,m;u rm.M.fi o:» rt .u’ui *• "SWAPPED OOTTOST FOB BACO.V Professional Cards- j ATJSTll An cricus Times-Reoorder: A ban* “I will wager,” said a Broadway watchmaker to a ov.aton.er the other thrifty and far righted farmer day. “that yo . cannot correctly pul ] terwl an Americas merchant vest- r- down the numerals on the dial ,.date ’ day to s*vap off bacon lor cotton, of tour watch.” “Done!” said the' I'omul for |K>im«l, the meal to he de- Ollier. And he wrote down I, 11,' Hvered d .-mg the year and the cot ton to he handed over next fall. But BAGGS& SPENCE. DI5KTAT. Fl’KGKOXS, you—er — dump tlu-m a little too of ten? New York Weekly. Pikiii trouble*, cuts, hums, scalds an I chafing quickly heal by the iu>e of 0 Witt’s Witch Hazel Salve. It is imitated. Be a-.irc you get De Wat’s. U. L. Hicks. wan |>icke<l up by this same very gentle and unsophisticated farmer, ba in bridge 6A.-BATNBRTDGK - gaf Office--Corner Witter and West streets, in Chason Building. DR. Dive in a Cottage,—Young Hn»- hand: Urn! What are these, my dear? Wife: Those are apple dumpling*. Husband: Er—my love, didn't III, IV— I “Wrong," interniuted the watch the grocer smiled a takemeforadfool maker. ° * smile and declined. East spring he “How wrong?” I “Pull out your watch and look at the figure four.” I S ire enough the figure was II11, not IV. - —— — . — I “Are nil clocks and watches made Some of the epigram* of Armour, that way?” asked the customer, as he the millionaire pork packer, are: p t his watch back in its fob. “Much of my success is due to keep “All that have Roman figures oil crop and pocketed the eoin. His Treats diseases of the Eye, Ear, | ATTORNEY-A’I Office With Townsend & \\ land. f,l II. II. Bower. H. D. WILSON Dentist. —office— ind while it was a good trade for Over H. B. Ehrlich & Co.’s Store, nruiiN n. BOWER ATTORNEYS AT Law FAINBEir&E, } 0E3IA both, the pork peddler will stay out of tlie game this year. They traded then on a |>0 ml for pound basis, and 1 while cotton staid at 10 cents and | above the farmer steadily sold his Bainbridge, Ga.| Practice in the State cr.nvu i kl and Justice courts. AI M , ,j, , ' . ’ estste. improved ni.d vi.d L'Y loth lor hHie. * * ai 4!). DE. S. J CHESJrUT. Physician and Snrgccn meat bill was not then due. It was pa d later with 8 cents cotton. One which may ing my mouth shut.” “The young their dial.” man who wants to marry sho Id pick ( “Why?” 0 it a good mother and marry one of, “Well, there is a tradition which °f ^' s neighbors, who made a similar In r laughters; any one will do.” nocoiinls for the custom. Tlie first it'acle with a local merchant, got “Good men are not cheap.” “C.-ipi- clouk that resembles the ones now in . 8e.an*d and settled when cotton was t iT can do nothing without brains to use was made by a famous Frenc.li J D cents, fearing t hat it was going direct it." ! j. weler mimed Henry Vi.-k, in 1370.' to 15 cents. Meat is now worth 10 —— • — • -— | He made a present of it to King : edits at retail and cotton only 8 cents. “I had piles so had I could get Charles V. surimmed the Wi. c. Now - Ni xt fall tlie price of cotton may be no rest nor find a cure until I tried* <ji, nr i eH waH w i HL » ln ma „ v w . a , s i>.,i ranch less, hence the ])eWitt’s Witch Hazel Salve. After ,, WU " Wa,t,na ''? wa}8 ’ D " 11 using it once, I forgot I ever had 1,0 " ot know everything, though any-tiling like Piles.”—E. C. Boiee, having a reputation to sustain lie pro eents meat for cotton Somers Point, N. Y. Look out for tended to omniscience. When Vick bring only 5 cents, imitation*. I»e suic you ask lor Do brought him the clock be examined s ' * * ^ 9 ' the works verv attentively, seeking “I have been troubled with nidi- Haw somewhere. ‘Yes,’ he said, g *tio'i for ten years, have tried , *the clock works well, hut yon have maiiv things and spent much money got tl|0 figures on the dlal wrong> » to no purpose until I me I K- ulo! « S urely not, Your Majesty,’demur, ed of Insanity it is contended that Dyspepsia Cure. I have i.ikeii two » .y... that four should we do * Says the wr.ter: “The brain bottles and gotten more relict from we jeweller. its, that tom should , them than all other medicines taken, he four ones.’ ‘You are wrong, Your lfl ’ !,,, toniaiioally, a double organ, yet 1 reel more like a hoy than I have Majesty.’ ‘I ain never wrong,’ tliiin- nrel,la ' processes are single. A priori, felt m twenty years.” Anderson dured t | )0 Km g- , T . lk(J , t a J ;lv ail(1 we should expect in a double brain a Bigg* of Sunny Line Tex. Tlioiu- wim>ul tlw m *, RUku .» V ick did as l,lo " ble mi " d * A sufiicieiit number of cases have been recorded to make it Nose and Throat. All calls promptly attended. OFFICE ON Broughton Street. K. S. PERRY, illiuguess RESIDENT OPTICIAN. of t e loci merchant to swap his 10 ^“OFFICE AT THE GRENADA DRUG STORE. Bainbridge, Georgia. W: I. GEER, attorney and Counseler At COLQUITT. - GEOKfilJ Office: In Court House. ALBERT E. RUSSELL Attoney at Law BAINBIilDGE, - - OEOIld Office Over Bainbridge State III Is it not possible that in a healthy, normal condition we do all our think ing with one half of the brain? In a recent number of the American Jo r J. E. amis have tcstifiel as did Mr. Riggs. II. L. Ilioki. An odd dispute is reported from Cygnc, Ivin., where ii bank recently failed. A man was at the wicket getting his money on a check for $227 ‘I am never wrong,’ thun dered the King. ‘Take it away and correct the mistake.’ Vick did as commanded. The fishion was fol lowed by others. And so to this day wo have 1111 instead of I-V.’ “But suppose my watch had Ara bic and not Roman numerals?” “1 took that chance, of course, be tlie deputy bank commissioner. cause the larger proportion of watch- walked in and took possession. The es have the Roman numerals. But j uolu * e movements can he performed cashier ha 1 paid the man $200 in big ' even then I’d have had you in all. nt ‘ arly a8 wtl1 l,y 0,10 h;,!f of tlle bod l' bills and was counting out the $27 probability. For there is another' aa by lhe otm;r ’ wl,e,,evcp il beuu “« in small change when the oommis* peeulmrity about the figures which is 1 neuc * 8!ir i' 1,0 entry out movements in- sloner stop .ed him. Tim oommis- almost universal in watches. But jl v olving speed dexterity, and aeour- siomr claims ‘.hat the man should ! will show you. Goon wilting the ; ale nature oTgan zes oil- rest of the figties.” So the c stonier continued and wrote down V, VI — “Wrong again,” interrupted the watchmaker, “But”— “P. 11 out your watch and see,” i-aluily retorted the other. Once more the watch dial was ex- 1 posed to view. There was no six on Tlwi 7’ew York Commercial Ad-|j t verttsi-r relates llut Gen. Fimstoii v as nt (.fie Occidental Hotel in Sail Flames », when the War Depart- Contractor and Builder, BAINBRIDGE\ GA. Bids Submitted on All Kinds of BRICK: or : WOOD : WORK. 12-\ tf WILL H. KEAL5 ATTORNEY AT LAW Bainbridge, - - - . . <■> Office with Hawes & I! I A. H. RUSSELL. M. E. O'd certain that a man can retain Ins per sonal characteristics and mental ac tivity in whom one half the cerebrum lias been destroyed. Physiological arguments in favor of this view me found in the following facts: Win e Estimates cheerfully furnished on all R. J. ROONEY. Contractor and Builder. RUSSELL & O’NEAL, Attorneys and Counsellors at L;| AND REAL ESTATE AGEN’lsJ ynn emc-t-ce In hII tin- State (VnrN . ‘tL.lrfJ'i" 0 " P , U Bn thc '"vesltpiiiii lAinil litlc* ami thc Law of Artn.liiifc’r.i jTsterling roeIFts: A tTOHNEY A-r LAW. BAINBRIDGE. . . GEOKiiil Will practice in ail the courts. classes ol building. pay back tlio *2 <0; the mail claims that the pptn uissioner should have allowed him to receive the $27. Spring ooiglis arc specially dan- s an,I unless curei at once, ser ious results o’lion follow*. . One Min me Go gli Guru acts iik« magic, it i* not a common mixture but is a high grade remedy, it. L. Jlicks. TOMB STONES, AND JOE. H. GILPIN, Attorney at Law, bainbridge, - - geokgI Will practice law together epurts. except the criuiiunt I.i-anch oltj city court ot Decatui- uuuiitr. Nul rut.iic in office. half of the brain much more fully than the*other. Rightbaiidedness is not an accident.” -We arc told that Doyouconfemplnteereetingamonnment The space where it should have I been was occupied by the second I hand. “The second hand,” continued the .„t’s m -esage requesting him to »■«, jevveiw . 13 l0 , 10 fouIld j„ eXilctly rn to the Philippines was placed ... llmt pla(J0 •„ al|I|08t every watch men l turn his liaudt. “Wliat’ll yo i dv>?” asked ; that is made. Whether your dial a newspaper man who was present. I wag rt . gisU . i:ed in Arabic or Roman “I’ll telephone my wife,” said the | llluru w0 . lld bo , 10 six on lt> General. He did so and lew minute* U is only on a tew of a very cheap later sai l to the reporter: “You can BOrt of watof;e8 lhat Ule seoond hand say that 1 a.-cept, I am turning down om)Ued and tho y or the V I stands a good many fine off-.'rs, but if I am needed I'll go back. And then, yon know, I may get a olutu-e to catch Againnl lo. It’s been my ambition 11 I,iv iuy hands oil that yellow hoy.” revealed.” SKV li.\ VI Alts |A util. You will waste time if you try “Will- wonders ever cease ?” n,- q lire the friends of Mrs. L. Pease, to of Lawrence, K in. Thev knew she the pheiiomeiion of “doable con sciousness” means nothing more than a large brain which usually has no part in conscious life. The theory ! makes explicable many of the most puzzling abnormal mental states. Among other conclusions, the author presents this: “Anything which tends to make the ordinarily quies cent half (of the brain) assume con trol tends to impairment ot mental processes and the damage of tho in dividual. If this be true, tlie uttit de of those who advocate a cultivation of ambidexterity is h roughly illog ical. Instead of trying to make a r ght-banded person less right-handed we ought rather to make them more right-handed. Conversely, the tempt to make a lett-handed hoy right-handed is a physiological crime. Every effort ought to be made to make the l.ft-handed boy more left* handed.” or tomb *tone. or in any way itn- pToving your cemetery lot? If so, write uie at CUTHEERT* GA. I will submit designs and prices and will call at yo ir home to see you. The best work of all Crtdeet clCrcr.i+ctr^ irciltle PRICES TO SUIT YOU. T. G. SI'EARM, I’uthbert, Oia- JOHN C. CHASON. ATTORNEY AT LAW, BAINBRIDGE. - - Gil M hi practice law in all t!.i> Court*. Gu. u, uyu&iguu ft ii. ATTORN’EVS kt EAWI Bainbridge, - Ga. Will practice in all the Keder,-iiam!.Sli| Courts riffices: Up-stairs Be.. Bnildir.sj To the Public. 1 nave a very lar«e sprinir and sum mer pasture near town where I will take cows at mornini* and ifrazo them during fH- the day. returning same at night, for the sum of $1.25 pep m' lith. * GEO. D GRIFFIN. SIC rcusSBATOl Attorney-at-Law BAINBRIDGE, - GiiORGI| \Nill pi.ictice in all the cnr.irs. lal attention given to .real e-t.-ue. c®| mercial and corporation nr. rr ce. Oflice i)i old Bank Bi hdhir. liver trouble, nervous prostration and •i cure indigestion or dyspepsia by , had been unable to leave her bed in rvstarving yourself. 1 iial only ni ikes t . t , y oa rs on account of kidney and tr. it worse when you do eat heartily. “ You ulwavs nee 1 plenty of good food .iAJy iligested. Kodol Dvspepsia •ssCurn a the result of years of soien- -tifie research. for something that woull digest, not only some elements aif food but every kind. Anl i' is the remedy that trill do :t. R. L. llieks. .1 HAIil.V .. no , UiM. E 1.001). Washed down a telegraph hue which t- has. CL Ellis, ot Lisbon, la., general debility; but, “Three bottles j bad to repair. “Standing waist deep of Electric Bitters euabW.l me to • in icy water,” iie writes, walk,” she writes, “and in three months 1 felt like a new person.” Women suffering from headache, backache, nervousness, sleeplessi ess, gave me a terrible cold and c nigli. It gicw worse daily. Finally the best doc tors in Oakland, Neb., Sioux City and Omaha said I had Consinnntioii »>•;: »ivnt i.ivr ravr.s. “When a child I burned my foot frigl.ttu.lv,” writes \V. II.. Ea Is, of Joiusviib, V i , “wiiieb caused liorri- i Hacked—“Notanotber word, sii! b!e leg *oi\-s for 30 year*, but Buck- . UeRHinU'r, I wivjt cut out fur a gen- Ien’s Arnica Sdve wholly cured me llemau." “Well, all I have to say, after evi-ri thing «-l*e failed.” Infill- whoever did the cutting must have hbl,. foi limn*, scalds c I*', bruises used an awfully dal! pan* of shears.” aud piles. Sold by K L Hicks. 25o. Chicago News. melancholy, fiiinting and dizzy spells ami co Id not live. Tiien I began j will find it a priceless blessing. Try j using Dr King’s New Discovery and was wholly cured by six bottles.” Positively guaranteed for it* Satifaction guuiatilecj by Ii. L. Hicks. Only 50c. GO YEAR3’ EXPERIENCE TRADe Marks Designs Copyrights &c. Anrone ser.iilni; a sketch nnrt description may qnlckly ascertain our opinion free whether an Invention js probably patentable. Conininulca- tlons strictly confidential. Handbook on Patents flctit free. Oldest ncency for aecuri^p patents. 1 atoms taken tbrouKli Munn & Co. receive sjircial notice, without chnrgp, in the ALBERT GRICE, Tcnsoral Artist] COLQUITT, - Best Wink, fchtii-faci GEORGIA. iii, Gimisit* 1 % $ § For $1.3(1 K handsomely UlustTated •weekW. J.nvpest cir culation of any sclcntltlc 1(»urnal. Terms S-'I a r £ J0 ^ ths * * L 8old l) - val1 rewsdealers. MUNN & Co. 36lBroadwa >* Nsw York a ranch Office, C25 F St., Washlaaton. I). c. \Ye send yon I- SEAHrH-l.ir.HT. »'• the r .vine,I-Week Afel mta «>nriml ™ ! Juvenile .Journal, one \ ear. We send 1'i-e SeaiC Light and the A*-** 1 Constitution. Wt- str.d TH Light and t colds and nli tiiri blcs bv li. L. Hicks and lung tro Price 50.u r:'?,‘ v 3o You Want f e , , , Envelopes, Cards. |Note Heads. Letter i W eek Savannah News. We send The sf.is Light and ! Those fain ns little pills, De Witt’s Little Early Kisers will remove all impurities from vour system, cleanse your bowels, make them rei<atl>r. i li. L. llieks. Job Work? re d 'Cards.Receipts, etc ! “Ml at Ihe Search-Light J-.b' Heads. Bill Heads, j a-Week New York World. S atements Dodg. | New suhscripn-rs o, rev.ewi eis,Checks Blanks, these offers. Suliscril e ostprs. Business Office to get the*>i. work done ttt once. -&-T OISTCSH3! Prices c‘ieap Try us. —* J~