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T 4 The Search-Light. BAINBKIDGE, MAltCH 4, 1901, T Baali.l an Avalanche. One of the most exciting Alpine nd- on record wns Mr< Tuckett’s _ | W elcomed (he Clrcu.. When a'prominent picture dealer of I of H ,°7 "^n'a Jnrty ventures New York starts the topic of woman’s , of his hist Italian tcui. ue i ! ,*■ curiosity, his wife always laughs and ! blushes, for Bhe knows the story that j is coining. "One day,” the picture dealer begins, .™ u k*“ *“• * '“*. *''* “ f "‘ “'iiTe railway I The glacier sloped sotnew ••I decided to close the small exhlbi- [ VL^ n , to , vt , r i ahou t the ! and on the upper part, above the clltnb- t of Interest there was to | ers. a mass of loose, freshly . fallen 1 telegraph- 6i;ow had collected. Suddenly the trav- iat Cook’s 1 elers heard u thundering noise and Re Got (lie nn»loe»». “There are tricks even In our trade, 1 tnld the old life Insurance man. “Aliout tlon „tudlo which lends from the gal ten years ago a couple of respectable n. rv am j .,nt 'Private' on the door Just . , . , — - ««•—»■■■ -n>™ ™ oi";« « «« would pass i perceived a huge mass of snow and ice old parties, man anil wire, came to f 01 . au experiment. town with $100,000 or so that they portant- collection of water colors by , . . . «anted to put Into an annuity. They 0I)l . of our best artists in the gallery. | circus from t-ngia j ""'p. ‘"iffij ; ]1Ulng down toward them. They had neither chick her child, kith nor [ * n , the desk Just outside the en- , t by bull e t | u on the ! could only try to reach the rocks at the id any points where the pul kin. and they wanted tj iltllsh their trance and presented to each lady a side of the glacier, hoping to do so lives In ns much ease and luxury as fn-gh catalogue of the paintings. When Malrie and any points « ' ele ‘ e {, v | befoI . e t l;e avalanche should s\v.cep could be bought Fo they made the shv tool: | f . i politely requested her to J- 1 ' J * hp troupe a hearty 'them away. Through the knee deep leave* it as slit* went out. j * * snow tb<?y ran for their l’ves. ••This request was complied with in ; welcome. ^ every Instance, and I was enabled to rounds of the life Insurance companies, getting their annuity figures and had all the actuaries In town niaklpg cal culations In the case. gested, and when we ar- 1 remember.” said Sir. Tuckett, “be ing struck with the Idea that It seemed man down at mne. took him out and showed him n real good, decent time. Then he edged around to ?.jo annuity hunters, and. lo and behold, the doctor one catalogue that was undeeornteui ^ -Nearer aud nearer It came, its front sStx- was .thelr family physician: Without y0I “« \vomn„ who aftenw.rU became J* c y ° u ™ Tot e"m TvtS more.^A S?d"Sl£S"'oVvZtog j vvlien my American friend and I caUed snow and fragments of Ice, a fio.icn appearing to pump him. the actuary learned enough about tin 1 old couple to enable him to make a most glittering Inducement to the pair, and they bought their annuity of ills concern. They were both dead Inside of two years. I forgot Just how muc.i the company netted. I think It had paid out about one-tenth of what tin 1 old folks lind paid In. The company was „— a gainer, und there were no losers ex- j reached a height of 1(10 foot, nil adven- horses were so numerous they would Cept the other companies as a result of j turous and patriotic cat ascended the come on by a later train. my wife. Hhe told me women turned the knob merely to sue If tbc door wus locked, but sbe J-:now that sort of gilding rubbed off. und she lind on light gloves.”—Y'oath's Com- puulon. A Cnt'» Extraordinary l.enp on the mavor to thank him for his cloud, swept over us. entirely conceal- courteous attention to my requests he lug us from one another. But still we gently Inquired where the horses were, were untouched, and still we ran. , ns the Inhabitants would prefer to “Another half second, and the mist I have seen us mounted. My Yankee parted. There lay the body of the mon Artificial Legs. The most lifelike and servleeal tlficiai legs In the world are g partner In the •sefl’ wns equal to the ster. whose head was still careering tured In America. Enormous qi The Galloping White It was In the dark of and the streets were th men aud women on tltelr way i the end of the day's work. fourth street, where Broads Sixth avenue cross with a net» tracks, the usual clangor of shouts of newsboys and the i elevated trains Ailed the air myriad electric lights sparkled i many stars. Suddenly out of the gloom little white hearse, being drlv ly home. Its sad day’s work t and the little horses were anxious for their dinner, still it one a shock to see them gnl!on|« Even more pathetic It looked] empty than with Its precious Httu den. The very emptiness spoke j vacant little chair at home, them toys, the unworn frocks folded, fo,- some woman to cry over on ag day. Fntliers hurrying home to their j little ones felt n sudden lump J throat, mothers leading their eld grasped the little hamls -with a j access of tenderness, and a gJ sad sense of loneliness came i heart of the passerby who hadu to lose. Just a little white seen only for a moment In the i lug darkness by the hurrying tjj but what a world-of pathos it sil* edl—New York Mail and txpresil the actuary's York Sun. shrewd move.” — New ••Spellbinder*' " Way*. “Spellbinding" Is the Imppy name given to the platform speaking which plays such an Important part In every mmpnlgn. The uatloiinl chairman de termines who shall hi 1 the stars In this department. An ex-president Is most below. In the descent, which was watched closely by twoscore of men, the cat spread herself out like n flying ! In the latter part of 1SS0. at a time occasion, and. ns lie spoke a little ltul- away at lightning speed far below us, I when the Washington monument had Inn. he Informed the ofllelal that the motionless, rigid, harmless. Rattier Outspoken. Interior of the shaft by menus of the j "The secret was well kept, and, as “When a man in the west likes not ropes and tubing. When the workmen Mr. Cook aud noue of the “ourists were another,” said a British Columbia man. arrived at the upper landing the next linguists and ns we only remained in “he Is In no way disposed to hide that morning and began to prepare for the Fisa three hours, they all departed In fact under a bushel basket or to con- day’s work, pussy took fright aud. wonderment as to why their advent eenl It from either the geutlemnu dis- sprlnglttg to the outer edge, took a had earned such extraordinary ex- liked in particular or the rest of tlm “header" of 1(10 feet to the hard earth citoment.”—Argonaut , community In general. . "1 remember un example of this trait The Poxtmnater nt (he Zoo. that came under my notice some years Tie lawyer who evidently considers ago In Idaho. A certain old fellow In demand, u speaker or un ex-speaker squirrel and alighted on all fours. Aft- life one huge, continuous Joke entered named Hans rnn n paper there, nnd he comes next as a rule, and senators and or turning over on the soil a few times the clerk's office at the city hall with nnd Judge Buck, the Judge who ren in u dazed manner she prepared to an expression of extreme radiance over- dered the celebrated decision in the fa- leave tile grounds. Fprondlug his countenance. The clerks tnous T’oor Mnu’ Tiger iltlgntlon, were She had got almost beyond the shad- and others having business In the office sworu enemies. Another old timer o\f of the monument when n dog he- nt the time censed their several pur- named Cheney disliked Haas and Buck longing to one of the workmen pounced suits. Experience had taught them and had It In for them both, upon her nnd killed her, she. of course, that the aforesaid lawyer would say "One night at Wallace a dinner was not being la her best running trim after something of au entertaining ebarae- given, at which Buck. Haas and Che- performing such an extraordinary feat. ter. ney were present, aud at a late stage In One of the men procured the body of “Gather round, boys.” he sold. “1 the proceedings Cheney was called up- the dead feline, smoothed out her silky hove n dandy for you this morning ” on for a speech. I don't remember the cunt and turned the remains over to a The speaker paused. The others si- topic he chose or how he brought it'In, representative of the Smithsonian in- lently waited for what was com lug. but when lie got through Cheney left stltutlo'n. who mounted the skin aud “Now listen carefully!” resumed the in the minds of Ills hearers no manner placed It under a glnss case. The label lawyer, "and note the beauty of the of doubt as to bow he felt toward the on the ease tells this wonderful story connection between the three sections other two. representatives are Invited lo speak In the order of their usefulness. One speech li.v HU ex-president Is worth half a dozen efforts by other men, though they may lie more logical nnd eloquent. The candidate himself, when an ora tor. will draw greater crowds than any body else, but If lie Is wise lie will let tlie luiiloiinl committee arrange Ids Itin erary und schedule. Headquarters are always overrun with volunteers for the stump: the star. or. man with it repo tin leu, walls to lie Invited or urged. Mosl of the lesser men are Inborers for Idle, hut others nre ambitious to make a reputation us a stepping stone to po ll: leal office, ami some nre Intensely In i- nest aad eager to he useful to their 1MI.V- The national committee settles for the expenses of spellbinders, unless they Insist on paying their own way Wlili-h Is unusual Some of the great orators receive handsome stuns for their services am) travel lu state.— Home Magazine. In a few words: “This oat on Sept. 23, of this little conundrum. Here It is: 18S0, Jumped from the top of Washing ton's tnontmieut and lived.” ‘If the postmaster should visit the zoo nnd while there be eaten by the wild animals, what o’clock would It be?”’ There was another pause. Finally the clerk lu charge of the dockets ven- b Benniorlnl llepnrtee. Once In the senate chamber John J Ingalls was directing some remarks to Ft iihtor Hoar of Massachusetts. The cither senator from that state, Mr l>itwe*, having couie In while Mr. in gulls was speaking, thought the words wi re meant for his ear. and so. Inter rupthig. lie asked Ingalls If lie wus dl reeling the remarks at him The tnII siunior turned slowly around for Mr Hawes sat behind hlut. and then, with delicious iuioimtlon. hut an lusiaiit wit. he said. "I was directing m.v re marks to the successor of i'hal ies Sum lit-t and not to the successot pi Daniel Webster " The repartee has become traditional, atid Hie utterance was at ouce placed alongside of Wait reply ol Conklin- to Senator Thurman, which Is also tru dltlmml In the senate chamber t'onkttug was speaking and Thur man had said. InterrnptUu him. “Does II.i- senator alui Ills remarks at me; t> constantly turns to me?" .when X r Conk I lug. with delicious gravity, towing 10 Thurman, with wnom he was very friendly, said “When I turn to the senator. I turn as the Mussul limit nuns to Mecca: I turn ns I would turn to the common law of England— tla world's most copious fount of Ju I'isprudence.” When l.t Bans Chans Grinned. Once during a dry season In China tin viceroy. Karl 1.1 Hung Clmng. call ed ou the American minister. Mr Ccu- gel. and spoke of the weather "Yes." said Mr Conger, “it seems to lu- dry everywhere. It Is dry In my country too I read In one of our pa- t*-rs the other day that in ninny place* In the west the people were praying for rain " “Whatf said the earl. “Do your peo ple pray to their God for rain?” "Oh. yea.” said u»e minister, “they ofteu pray for rnin^’ • "And does their God send It when they pray for It?" ask,si the earl. "Yes. sometimes liu-lr prayers are an swered nnd *oim llt i.-s they are not ” • • II »l„- -o'i„-like cmie'.-i Jos* l.i t T ., ,-ait with a grin :th<t a chuckle Abolition of the Docking Stool. The most noteworthy of all the In stnimetitH designed for the correction turned the answer. "It would be all day of Eve’s offending daughters wns the with the post master." ducking stool, known ns the tumbrel “Wrong, outlrely wrong." eomment- and the trebuehet A post, across ed the lawyer. "1 didn’t ask what time, which was a transverse beam turning 1 asked whnt o’clock would It be.” on a swivel nnd with a chair at one A third pause. Then by general con- end, was setup ou the edge of a pond, sent the answer was requested. The Into the chair the woman was chained, lawyer ga.vly announced. "Ate p m.” turned toward the water—a muddy or Before the gathering had recovered filthy pond was usually chosen for this the lawyer had Ulrled from the room purpose when available—aud ducked and was headed for the court of ap- liulf a dozen times, or. If the water In- peals to try the postmaster zoo wild an- tlamcd her Instead of acting ns a damp- lmais conundrum ou the higher tribu- er. she wns lei down times Innumera- nak—Washington Star. ble until she was exhausted aud well nigh drowned. Dionysian- Ear. From the frequency with which we In Syracuse is n cave said to have "‘Gentlemen.’ said Cheney ns he bung unsteadily to the eiql of the ta ble, for the wine had been passing freely, ’old man Hans says Judge Buck Is a perjurer nnd a blackmailer, and Judge Buck says old mail Hans Is a horse thief aud a liar. As both the gentlemen are extremely well acquaint ed with each other and should know whereof they speak. I do not fed call ed upon to dispute either statement.’ "Aud then he sat down amid tumul tuous applause.” —New York Tribune. Dolna (he Glnsier n KlndneHn. A traveling tinker out of work be moaned his hard Inek to a sympathetic glazier. i "I’ll soon put that right for you,” | said the glazier. “Just .come up to i that big hotel over there In half an 1 hour’s Time, and you’ll lind work.” Accordingly the tinker made Ills np- tliiil it mentioned In old local and eouu- been constructed by the tyrant Dloiiy- ponrnnee nt the appointed time and ty histories. In church wardens’ and 6ius. probably used as a prison it is found himself In gi;ent request, as nil chamberlains’ accounts nud by the po- made In the shape of nil Immense hu- the good wife’s pots aud pans had tnys- ets tGay. for one, has a description of man ear. aud Its acoustic properties nre the process in Ills third pastoral, "The most remarkable.. Maxwell Sounner- terlously sprung leaks. Needless to say the glazier had slyly operated ou them to provide a Job for bis acquaintance. Having finished his work, the tinker trudged off. full of gratitude, and soon Shepherd’s Week”) we shall probably vllle, theunithor of "Sands of Sahara," not he wrong in concluding that at oue visited it and had Its properties exlilb- tlme this Institution was kept up all tted to biui by the guide stntioued over the country. In Liverpool, ae- there. cording to The Gentleman’s Magazine The man took a sheet of letter paper arrived at n wayside schoolhouse. for 1 ill 13. It was not formally abolished and. standing wllhln the portal of the A happy thought strikin'' him, lie de- liirtl! 1771k—London Graphic. car, struck the edge of the paper with termined . to repay the glazier’s klud- the forefinger of his rigid baud once, ness. and. arming himself with stones, Wnsblnuton** Utah Priced shad. twice, thrice. Each light tap was re- be speedily smashed every window In Washington's steward was a man peated through the deep orifices of that the house, named Fruuueos, who liked good 11 v- stone ear as If It had been a blow with Returning, he Intimated to bis friend ties of these limbs are shipped to] rope every year. The flrst.great boom In the art leg business was brought aliout bjl civil war. Since that time .railroad] trolley car accidents have kept i ever increasing demand. Auotberj tor hns been the genera( use of j tics. The mortality among thosel have their legs amputated la farlj than formerly, aud a large prop# of the survivors become patrons c wooden leg factories. The old fashioned peg log la pract ly a thing of the past. The i tificial leg shows a great advance» tlie old forms. Every Improve been with the Idea of greater aim Ity. The main object of the tnanufu ers Is to Improve the fit of the I The best models now cost $100, ] costs from $.j to S2o a year to keep] of those lu order. Few women wear artificial legs. I the other hand, it Is becoming i common to fit limbs to children, are made for children sometimes^ fore they can walk. They are fitted soon as the child learns to standi make It possible for It to develop I metrically. Where Wan the Swtnillet “Ethel." said Lionel Bertram Ja as he dropped his slice of bread I plate with a uolse that set the cam in the gilt cage overhead chirping« rily. “Ethel, I have something to a to you." They had been married only weeks, nnd the time had not an When she did all the saying. “Do you remember the day on idd T proposed to you?” “Y’es," she replied. “I will never# get It.” "Do you remember,” he went i he abstractedly drilled a hole in I loaf with the point of a carving "how when I rang the hell y< the door with your fingers sticky ' dough and said you thought it your little brother who wanted M in?” “Y'es.” “Oh. Ethel! How could you? could you?” “How eduld I what?" she respoK as a guilty look crept into her face-J “How,could you make me tin- v; “ of sucha swindle?”—Loudon Tll-B Jmt (Inking Snre. An old farmer, In Scotland ena" to have -a troublesome tooth extrodl Said the dentist after looking at the^ feuding molar: . "It is a very ugly one. 1 wou.fl# vise you to have it out by the pa! ins and with whom Washington oou- a heavy sledge hammer on the roof of the service he had rendered him. but sys'em It Is only a shilling extra.” tlnunlly quarreled about the market- on Iron house. He then in i tied thepa- was amazed to see the man of glass! He showed the farmer the :iih»" for administering gas, remarking ing One time lie bought a shad In per slightly, and that feeble sound was become convulsed with rage. February. and as Washington saw tt augmented a millionfold, reverberating “Great Seott. man.” shouted the int it would cause him to fall aslei-p com tug Into tlie dltfing room he wa* through the vaults above and beyond ter. “you’ve ruined me! 1 repair the minute and before he awoke Hi- iliantied nnd asked what fish it was. like the crash aud roll of thunder. He windows of that school by yearly con- would be out After a slight resists' “It Is a shad." replied the steward; whistled, spoke and called. Thousands tractI”-London Answers. ovoocvVr, “a very line shad. It was the only oue of stentorian voices repeated every lu tlie market, nnd I liouglit It for-you.” sound. Turning to my companion, 1 Avoiding worry. .“Bui what did you imy for It?” said said: ’ i Wife-Uere comes a friend of mine. \\ashlugiou sternly. “We must not longer tarry. Let ns Let’s turn Into this side street until sbe “It L* a very tine shod.” continued euilmrk. Now we shall go to Kahylla, passes. on our way to u,e desert of Sahara.” , Husband-Quarreled with her? Ylyrind lungs of stone caught up the “No, but I don’t want you to see her.” Lilt I want to know the price—the last word of each phrase and answered price!" aloud. “Tarry—arry-emhai-k —ark-Ka- “If cost FT." stammered out Ft-g.icces. by da—by I'.a-Sahara- barn—ara—a—a.” “Take It away.” said Washington a the steward, “and It Is cooked to turn.” he raised his hand: “take it away It shall never lie said that 1 set such an example of luxury and extravagance.” Aud with that he drove the steward out of the room, nud the shad wns eat lu the servants' kitchen fast iron plows were first ui;. ’e in this country In 17b? nnd were greatly objected to I'r, :o the belief that tl.e *•••('• Ton poisoned the around and pre vented the plants f:o:ti growing. “Hum! Why not?” “1 know you'll admire that new dress of hers, and it will only worry you to think what a ridiculous fuss you made ' England'* Tippling *ct. , . A queer English law. called the “tip- 0Ver th ,f b J 1Is for Ma cheap toln S Z ’ ve Pling act of 17-.J.” provides that au g01 °“’ _New York Weekly. Innkeeper cannot recover for debts for liquor amounting to more than S5. The Son of an eminent English throat spe cialist lately ran up a bill of $250 at ail English public house aud based a re fusal to pay upon the validity of this p'l. As the Statute was still on the i ■ :.s »! «• judge was ohfiged to ae- Gandy Acaaatlea. “How are the acoustics of that thea ter?” “The whnt?” “Acoustic properties.” “Oh nil. yes: tlie acoustic proper ties. Why. It struck uie they were rather gaudy." K-.-hnftce. the sufferer consented, procot 1 open his purse. “Oh, never mind paying .U' st 1,0 said the dentist kindly. “Hoots!" answered the-rant a,as Scot. "A’ wasu't thinking o' that. if A’m ga-on ta sleep, A wad like ta count ma siller I" 1 " .Glasgow Times. Max Kaon Too Morn. ^ “Do women who have had ^ vantage of advanced education '' good wives?” asked the liai ' thoughtfully. ( ,i At this the benedict took him side, where he could speak l '" Ui liully. „ al “If you ever marry." tie s - 1 ( find occasion to frame up a " " r excuse for n protract is I »•--• club you wilt dlsxiiet lb"' *!bl- fci :i n ig-,an to knoft