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FOOLED THE COLONEL.
•tbf?
vut
y Br.innliran Oalr.m-
IT i’RYOl’
< .1 III* SaiK-rior.
T!«^
colonel.
| "Old Daddy,” ns he
wa»i u
sn ally
. led, had a habit of
fitrcll.i
£ rnimtl
liie camps at most uu-
frrvw;
l:
*:«. Sentries had to be
coat nr
<.n
:he alert, for nothing
Yw* ? < •
j.;
:i "0:d Daddy" great-
M*
ban to have pounced
on k< \i
<* hv-1,'4
. -t oin* who might think
tb<* :
Slliie: .e
til - t ll
• ers suitable for a quiet
Pm:.;
V n>
an made that mistake
once.
TLcre
■ i the quiet moonlight
he set.
f.:jf
uscious of the colonel’s
P : ■
c. bin 1*’
• laid against, the tent.
Iiimsw:
1
a slumber. Gently the
rifle v
{’>' i
' from Its place. But
BvUUI* V
«'• ! a!
i invoke Paddy In time
io S' f
tin* cm!:
ol making ids way to
the }. 4 u:
v-l
Paddy missed ids rifle
at. o:h-.
s.;t<l f
uved the colonel with
the mi
Mon oi :
prairie eat.
tilts!
-V t:. v
guard tent stood the
won:,'.
i itc\ \
deli held the rifles of
the pin
irl r.u l
:o It "Old Daddy" plac-
ed Ini
<i. :’>• ii
. himself entering the
tout :.
c::II t
<• sergeant In charge.
T* la i
an
-'•y’s opportunity: lie
fit:-: 1 hill '
1* Ik •*::
• ■ and was buck at his
la st :n
tin luv:
•t. The colonel brought
the m
to ■ ; t.n
• {,• t-;«
side and ordered him
“J. li ■
snld the sergeant.
SOME LEGAL FEEAKS
CURIOUS TWISTS THAT OBTAIN IN
ENGLISH GRIMIN/LAW.
ini i'ii" i
for I pi'! !; i
llCi - Is unite <•:]
0o;.:cv.h:ir uill:
"Pome tv!Hi
ini.-n:,!. ami r
I ti:
Ti !• :» -gen at
tiering ulmt w
-Unit: Viiio
char a.’ll shill'
tl; • UO'.V v. Id,..;
wns !i’
luul 1 V,T rtvi 111'
'v:ih parnlyss
• sort. There is an ex-
That I am certain of.
r myself.”
"don. sir, but the nuni-
"ct.” again ropliecl the
"d sergeant.
■e—come with me this
soon lot you see what
sv.rolly 11-u
"V, ell. I’m hlo
and vaiiiiihiii.
i!lowed his chief, won-
1 Roll);; to happen.
;:oes tliere?" rang out
in the night air from
•rake Paddy.
, 1 e tlinn "Old Daddy”
• I of. For a moment he
I. Then he marched
Paddy, gavsed luto his
■at face nnd, with a
’Vi d.” turned on his heel
Scotsman.
ti-:e battle of life.
T. ; !n 1,’fe \, here you are.
4 : : '•.'or'.i .. mostly nnd confident-
IK.!
r
tr’
t': : ;; ...'y k:-U over what Is to he
!‘ 0 cod head and cultivate
t he v: 4 : corns by seeming mls-
you can what lies near
er;'. ,:t in 1
r '- l 'i' v. 4 | c-ple nre cast down liy
®I, 'cut '.'aliurca and blunders.
• p. incti.T.es our apparent mistakes
h go a .More than our seeming
J. 4 ".err; nre tv,. ethnos very expensive:
hut, then, at,!':;, they often save In the
: rut? mote i :au they cost
’•htit* win In life’s battles are
t. ' h: .? . t.. vageous ones who look
up... r 'H cxpci.ence ns being eduea-
t 4 ; :.l.
J'l’i’t year «V..:lcultles and problems
c. 4 dr ami wi.. 4 : n belief that If you
do ,u nr part !*iey will be solved and
vu»I !'.:a best way.—Chicago
■!. : M:. \ v. 4 . 'd.
'.’■•a* ’ 1’the Illvermon.
V-i.T . i. u ace tolrl to n party of
.frh ■ u> the . v. «wing story on ldmself:
V i • ’c ecu *> -i when ho started on
-a Ip dot,-, ihfc Mississippi river on n
tc -t . ■ ; advised never to an-
x- . »• the »;snv: as naked by rlvermcn
i.a r t-c and never to bandy j
v ; ; \v: - taeni, ns he would be sure !
i ! ’ "."a ( a::' out second best. He !
i the ‘iviee religiously for a!
i ; •>;:! »" ' d, / he thought he saw !
a >• ; the better of a river-
in:! • c.\ out:
"• ' • t.* v.v.at yer loaded with?"
' 1 4 >n’t you want to come
• a : ■ •’ back Twain.
!' :’s •: 1 reckoned. seoiiT as j
h- • l- i ! " r biggest donkey hev i
' "• rr.". ■ ■. :e deck!" came back. !
"i dive lw'low as nil the
■' :■ i i > neighborhood set up a
ui.’sit.- .a. bis expense.
to £ M
Y v lfarfvntn,
' a foreman stereotrper
■■ting works has had a
< .ulng to n sale of
arts, he purchased an
’• for 20 shillings, be-
' aobby for fretwork, he
1 of the front panel.
• A purchase home, he
■ then discovered that
’■ had n double back,
between the boards ho
"n-.tfc of England notes
value of which amount-
1 . >*git
Instant!
Waldo IP;
i*. n -non Thought.
a that power is In the
: weak only because he
: good out of him and
! so perceiving, throws
at'ugly on his thought,
'a- himself, stands In the
commands his limbs,
•a- j.ast us a man who
1 of Is stronger than a
Ts on his head.—Ralph
A Person May Be GnlKy of Perjury
Though He Ineari to the Truth—No
Sneh Offense u» Trc*ims« — Points
About ForKery.
In no branch of the law ns It Is dis
pensed In Great Britain arc such curi
ous points to be found or a greater
number of anomalies to be met with
than in the criminal branch thereof.
It may be news to some people, for
instance, to know that there are a num
ber of things in existence which can
not be stolen, such as a corpse, animals
form natural—1. e„ animals wild In a
state of nature (with certain excep
tions created by statute)—soil of the
earth, etc. To attempt to steal nothing
would appear on the fuce of it to he
an Impossibility, much less a crime,
hut a man Indicted for attempting to
pick a Imly’s pocket which was subse
quently found to be empty was found
guilty of an "attempt to commit theft.”
though, in fact, there was nothing in
the pocket to steal.
Any one lucky enough to pick up a
sovereign lying in the road will bo glad
to hear that, If at the time of finding
It he had no reasonable means of dis
covering the owner of it, nnd also If he
did not at the same time conceive the
Idea of appropriating It to himself, he.
will not be guilty of stealing if lie
keeps his lucky find, even if the right
ful owner discovers nnd claims It,
Most people walking in the country
must have noticed on numerous occa
sions hoards or placards posted up in
Woods, fields, etc., notifying in large
letters that “trespassers will he prose
cuted.” hut few are aware that such
notices are utterly useless and no one
need feel the least alarm thereat, there
being no su^Ji offense known in crimi
nal law as VScl) a trespass, and a per
son could never be prosecuted for such
on offense. They nre. in fact, in the
words of that eminent Jurist, Sir Fred
erick Bollock, In his well known work,
“Pollock on Torts,” a “wooden false
hood.”
It Is a common fallacy to Imagine
that the crime of forgery consists in
signing another’s name, though in fact
committing forgery consists In making
nnd uttering any false Instrument In
writing with attempt to defraud: thus
it may he a forgery to omit a word
from n document, and It will be a mat
ter of considerable surprise to many to
learn that It Is possible for a person to
forge his or her own nnme. A person,
however, who fraudulently Inserts an
other's nnme on a picture, thereby sell-
lug Jt hr thp work of some other artist.
Is not guilty of forgery, ns a picture is
not an “instrument In .writing."
The crime of perjury also does not
quite "fit In" with the generally nc-
eojited Idea, which Is that If a person,
after being sworn on oath to speak tiie
truth, swears falsely, he ts guilty of
such offense. This is correct with the
Important qualification that the fact
the Witness has sworn to must .he ma
terial to the case. Thus. If a witness
on being duly sworn gave a false ad
dress on bciug cs’kcd where he lived,
this, though untrue, v Wftu.id not amount
to perjury, ns the place >wii?re the wit
ness lived would he quite Immaterial.
That a person may be guilty of uer-
jury though speaking the truth mar
seem n curious anomaly, but such nev
ertheless tf: the fact, as the test of per
jury ts not whether a person Is speak
ing what he believes to be the truth:
so, If a witness, for Instance, on being
asked, “What colored tie was the pris
oner wearing when you met him?” re
plied “red,” when in fact be did not
really notice, ho would he guilty of
perjury, even though the prisoner was
In reality wearing a red tie when the
.witness met him.
Numerous other instances of crimes
which present similar curious points to
the above might be given, nnd. In pass
ing. persons 4 taking out insurances
against burglary might note that tills
crime can only be committed between
the hours of 0 p. m. and C a. ir..: that
breaking into a house by means of an
open door or window Is not burglary,
although entering a house by sliding
down the chimney is.
We must not conclude this article
without a short reference to a compar
atively recent case In which a man not
possessing the means to pay entered a
restaurant, where he ordered and ate a
good dinner. As. however, he was un
able to pay for the same he was given
!u charge and subsequently indicted
for "obtaining goods by false pre
tenses.” The case resulted in the pris
oner’s acquittal on the ground that lie
had not been guilty of any false pre
tenses. 1
Tin’s individual therefore had a good
meal on the cticap, but we should not
HEROISM AT A FIRE.
The Result When Neither Girl Would
Climb Dorra Ftrsti
Not long ago a hotel was partially
burned and was the scene of some sen
sational escapes as well as of more
than one death. A young woman was
telling of her experiences on that
night, when rIic and a friend occupied
a room on the third floor. They had
been talking until a late hour, when
they were startled by the cry of "Fire!"
“We jumped up." said the girl, “and
rushed to the door. Flames filled the
corridor. The elevator shaft and the
fire escapes were quite cut off from. us.
nnd nothing remained for the people
on our side but to use the windows.
As Kate and I stared out at the red
glow in horror one or two people pass
ed the windows, letting themselves
down by the ropes. Wo looked out at
them, dazed for a moment, nnd the
crowd below shouted, ‘Don’t jump! 4
Then my brain cleared. I am pretty
good at climbing, and somehow the
Idea of my being injured never enter
cd my head. I said to Kate: -Quick
Take the rope and let yourself down!
Kate turned to me and said quietly,
but firmly: ‘I am stronger than you
You go first.*
“ ’I won’t.’ said 1, with insinuating
contempt. Won know I can always
take care of myself.*
“ ‘I shan’t go first,’ said Kate,
“Then we both lost our tempers.
‘Kn'te.’ I said, -your chief fault always
was obstinacy.’
“ ‘Oh.’ said she in withering scorn,
’and you’re not at nil obstinate, stay
ing up here to burn!"
"One form ’after another passed the
window. The flames shone brighter
than ever. I wns furious at Kate nnd
she at me. We shook our fists at each
other. The .crowd shouted, ‘Don’t
Jump!” and I shrieked back at them:
‘I’m not going to jump, you idiots! It's
Kate’s fault!’
“Really, when I think of the' names
we called each other, standing there
with death creeping closer every mo
ment, I blush. The crowd yelled fran
tically. T won't go first!’ I shouted at
Kate.
“‘I won’t stir an Inch!’ she shrieked
at me.
‘“Then we’ll die!* I cried melodra
matically.
“ ‘Don’t be a fool! Take the rope!'
she yelled.
“ ‘No!’ I shouted. Just then there
was a great shove at the door, and the
firemen shouted In the corridor, ‘It’s all
out!’ Kate and I fell Into each other’s
nrms hysterically. We vowed never
to speak of our idiocy, but we have a
sense of humor, and so we’ve both told
tl)c story of our heroism.”—New York
Tribune.
Business Cards.
A. GUY.
Professional
SHOE-HAKE!
-WATER STREET.
R.J. ROONEY,;
Contractor
DR * H -1>, WlLSo^
DEKIisj
Office over H. B.
Buinbddgc, Ge,,^
W. I. GEER,
Cffi • ( ATT0BNEYat 'Uw,
gftce in Court House.
Estimate cheerfully furnished on all
.... classes of building. —
Odqultt. Geo:
ir gia.
J. B. Grant,
PR AC 1ICAL
PLUMPER...
Steam and Gas litter.
SHAVING SALOON,
(Established 1885.)
West Broughton St.—
— Established by a home boy.
First-class material,polite and
attentive Barbers
Will F Thornton, 1'iop.^r®
J- sterling Roberts;
attornky- at . Uw
Will practice in all the &)Urfe
Bain bridge, Georgia.
A. J.. TOWNSEND. G F —
TOWNSEND & ' ‘
WESTM0 Rei
ATTOENKTS-AT'UIV.
Bainbridge, ...
" Gft
ROB’ L. Z. BRIDGES.
PRACTICING PUYSICIAS,
All calls promptly attend:
Brinson,
ALBERT H. RUSSELL,
’ ATTORNEY-AT-LAW
OFFICE: Over Baiahridge State 1
Bain bridge.
Aci«-au mere,
“I hope.” said tho drummer, “yon
were quite satisfied with my report
for the past mouth.”
“Well.” replied the head of the firm,
“there was one part of It that really
exceeded our expectations.”
"And what was that?"
“Your expense bill.”—Catholic Stand
ard and Times.
A Scott Pun.
Calling one da 4 v on a Miss Ferguson
and observing a fine honeysuckle in
full blossom oyer the door. Sir Walter
3eett congratulated his friend on its
appearance. She, spoke of It as trum
pet honeysuckle.
“Week” said Scott, “ye’ll never come
out o’ your nin door without a flourish
o’ trumpets!”
JOHN E. DONALSONdfc
R- W. FLESH
* ATTORNEY AT-LA1V,
Will practice in all the Federal Mil
Courts. Offices up stairs,
Building.
Bain bridge, Georgia.
GORDON BOWER,
GENERAL, REAL ESTATE AGENT,j
, Buys, Rents and sells Farm,')
and all other kinds of Properlv,
Bainbridge,
FUN FOR THE DINNER TABLE
Snegestiona by Which n Hontess Can
Conversation.
A hostess always finds that it re
quires more tact to ke?p the ball of
conversation rolling while her guests
are at table than any other time. The
following suggestions limy prove of
value as an ice breaker:
To each guest give a card on one side
of which is a dainty pen and ink
sketc-h of seme vegetable, an artistic
bunch of celery, lettuce or fruit. On
the opposite side have the heading:
“now SOME OTHER PEOPLE ATE.”
I Below have the following statements,
tho descriptions to he answered by
words' ending in “ate:”
Ko. 1 never ate alone—Associate.
No. 2 never ate with his superiors—
Subordinate.
No. 3 ate very daintily— Delicate.
No. 4 ate in the most lusty way—In
vigorate.
No. 5 ate like somebody else—Imi
tate.
No. G ate so that he constantly grew
worse— Deteriorate.
No. 7 ate in high places—Elevate.
No. 8 ate in a way that compelled at
tention—Fascinate.
No. 0 ate with other representatives—
Delegate.
No. 10 ate with the politicians—Can
didate.
No. 11 never ate today what be could
leave until tomorrow—Procrastinate.
No. 12 ate so that his food was well
chewed—Masticate.
No. 13 ate more than was necessary—
•Exaggerate.
No. 14 was always the last one to eat
—Terminate.—What to Eat.
A Distinction.
“I am told.” said the friend, “that
the manager you have left was paying
you a fabulous salary?” '
No,” aswered Mr. Stormington
Barnes, “not fabulous: imaginary.”—*
Exchange.
There Were No More Complaint*.
A certain Benedict was In tho habit
of troubling his father-in-law- with
complaints about his wife's behavior.
Really, this is too bad.” cried the
irascible old gentleman one ‘day, on
hearing of some of his daugtnc/’s de
linquencies. "If I hear any com
plaints I will disinherit her.”-3 j0 udon
Telegraph.
E. A. WIMBERLY.
j COMMISSION.; It OF DEEDS FOEFLC^
! Superior Court Commissioner,
.ary Public (with Seal.)
Office with Clerk Superior Court.
Bainbridge. Georgia.
BYRON BOWER. GOROOXBOH
BOWER & BOWER,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW.
Practice in State Courts, Federal!
and Justice Courts. . . .
I OFFICE: Old Search-Light Wiij
I Bainbridge, - - - Go
A Hnntler,
Junior Partner—I see you have en
gaged s new assistant. Is he a good
salosruan?
Senior Partner — Good salesman!
Great snakes! I had to send for the
police to prevent him from talking me
Into takiug him into partnership!
Nearing the rini, u .
“How long lias the minister been
preaching? whispered the stranger
who had wandered into the church and
6at down away back.
“About thirty years, I believe.” re
plied the other occupant of the pew.
‘That being the case.” rejoined the
stranger, ”1 guess I’ll stay. He must
be nearly done.”—Chicago News.
JOE. IL GILPIN
A TTORNEY—AT—LAW,
Will practice law together in j
courts, except the criminal brans
the city, court of Decatur
Notary Public in office.
Bainbridge, - Georgia.
SIG NUSSBAUM,
ATTORN KY-AT—LAW
Will practice in all the cm:
Special attention given to real «W
commercial and corporation praeti
Office in old Bank Building.
Bainbridge, Georgia.
Eoononi5cal.
A good story is related of an English
theatrical' manager who. by thrift and
hard work, had amassed a fortune.
Previous to the production of one
play the stage carpenters had to repair
a trap, and the head carpenter went to
the manager nnd informed him that it
eouid not be done in the dark.
„ . , ; . -■ i "Well. lad. thee won’t have t’ eras”
ads se any enterprising reader to .emu- answered the manager. “Here tak’
Into his example, gs. although be could.! this and. hay a candle.”
not indeed be prosecuted for obtaiuiug
goods by false pretenses, it seems that
be will still be criminally liable under
the bankruptcy act for obtaiuiug credit
by fraudulent means.—London Tit-Bits.
The real oH fashioned woman takes
a folded haudkirehlof to church with
her and brings it heme still felded,-
Atchison Globe.
And he handed him a halfpenny.
The carpenter pleaded that they
wanted two in order to get sufficient
light.
"How long will t" job tak’ thee?”
asked the manager. **
"About ten minutes,” was the reply.-
“Then cut t’ caudle In two,” was the
answer. “Thee won’t have any more
money 4 '
Slrnnge Alianpprcbenslon. 1
Borus-How do you like that last po
em of mine? • •»- -
Nnggus—First rate. It’s so restful,
so soothing, don’t you know.
Borus—Restful I Great Scott, man!
It’s an epic! *
Nnggus—Good heavens! » /bought It
was a lullaby!-Chlcago Titjane.
Si
—Clean Stock, Clean MethoJsxr
v Hii Good Wife.
Dr. Price—Your husband’s trouble Is
melancholia. Now, you’d help him ma
terially if you’d only arrange some
pleasant surprise for him.
Mrs. Sharpe—1 know-! I know! I'll
tell him you said he needn’t bother
about paying your bill till he feels like
J t.—PKlpdelphia Press.
A white object can be seen at a dis
tance of 17.2.70 times its own diameter
In strong sunlight—that Is to say, a
white disk a foot across can be seen
17.250 f$et away.
Have Genuine Banains
YOU
Small profits and
q:iiek sales.
1 Honest weight and j
! just )
| Prompt attention. •
The Koreans as a people nre better
developed physically than the Japa
nese. They are taller and mentally
are Lberaiiy eudow-ed.
f Courteous treatment
[*Constitutes mv moW
He Was the Oaly One.
“Did (hey have a goat when you
Jdint'd the lodge. Dozer?”
■“M m--iweil.- they !:ad-a scapegoat’’—
Philadelphia Bulletin.
CAN I SAY MORE ?
Make it convenient to call
store and be convinced of
facts
W. H. Gasset*
EldorenBi 6 *!