Newspaper Page Text
Club Holds Another Big
Meeting at the Den
of the Tyrant.
Bias and Pittacus
Unload Prize Stories on
the Assembly and the
Big Ananias is Forced
to Call “Time”.
There was another meeting at
the Den of the Tyrant Friday
night. The club always meets m
Friday, beeause most folks are
superstitious, and as Friday is
considered an unlucky day, fo’ks
that ought to be hanged-arc not
so apt to be prowling around.
The Big Ananias called the meet
ing to order in his usual pompous
manner, and recognized Bias, who
hf*d taken his stand in the ex
treme cistern corner of The Den
After getting Bis bearings Bias
said:
“Most men are badand if most
men are bad and liars are bad
men, then bad men must be liars
Tt is natural reasoning then that
most men are liars. Brethren, if
meet you with pleasure, and shall
endeaver to please. For that
should be our whole aim in life
assist in giving pleasure to a
profiler. That is what is so sought
after by a'l of us. The millionaire
donates his mi’l ions because il
gives him pleasure. The poor mart
gives his penny in the same man
n r. The scholar gives his life to
educate his brethern because it
affords him the mosr pleasure.
The liar belches forth his yaj*ns
because they satisfy his over load
ed brain. The fellow who carries
a long face wears it because it
gives him pleasure in bluffing off
some more timid brother, and to
make others think' he is weighted
down with, religion. The fellow
w,ho carries a, great big jaw
breaking laugh sends forth his
sidesplitting yells to tease or head
off joke to prevent being teaset
Solomon says laughing is only
short lived madness, therefore,
he who laughs is showing hifc
anger. Tim fellow who persists
in laying up fl fortune in coin,
kank notes or real estate is doing
so because it ajffords him the
most pleasure. It may he done
to excell a neighbor, or it may
be done for the love of the fil
thy lucre. The fellow who drinks
to excess does so because it
pleases him. j To spite a friend, a
wife, or a neighbor. Most men
are bad because it suits them to
be pleased along this line.”
“Time!’’cried the Big Ananias,
and Pittacus arose and said:
“This is the opportunity time
We are. commanded to know our
opportunity. Once there was a
fellow traveling up North; he
wrote me to meet him a,t a
certain place. I did so, and as
we were strolling out one pleas
ant evening we saw a lot of men
gathered who semed to be try
ing to decide knotty questions.lt
proved to be a coroner s court.
They were holding an inquest
over a body that was found on
the coast After a prolonged
lecture from the coroner the
jury retired and in a short while
came back and read the verdict.
I| copied it and here it is:
We, the jury, find this per
son died on ship was thrown over
board he was drowned. Then
floated to shore and froze to
death where lie was picked up
and brought before his honor the
' n,no nun-uunn rturu:
Made Strong by Vinol.
Run-down conditions are caused
by overwork, worry, too close con
finement, a chronic cough or cold
which it is difficult to cure.
We want to say to every person In
this condition —you need Vinol, our
delicious cod liver and iron tor.lo
without oil, ihe great strength cre
ator. It will supply Iron to the blood
In the most easily assimilated form,
create a good, healthy appetite,
et. ciigthen your digestive organs and
make you eat better, sleep better and
feel better.
A case has just come to our atten
tion from West Scranton, Pa., Mrs.
Chas. Proper says: “For three years
I was all run down, weak and had
no appetite, and after all that time
1 am glad tc say Vinol has brought
back my health and strength, which
is just what I was told It would do."
We are confident that Vinol is the
best body-builder and strength-creator
we have ever sold.
Try a bottle on our guarantee to
refund your money If it fails to
benefit you.
Dr. J. T. Wages Drug Cos.
coroner, who spoke so harshly to
the jury that the excitement Was
[so, great that he had heart fail
ure and passed out of the reach
of mortal man.”
“Time up cried the Big An
anias.”
Tryant.
THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD
REACHED FROM WINDER
Mr. W.B Mathews, local mana
ger of the Western Union Tele
graph and Cable Cos., wishes
to notify his telephone, patrons
that the whole world is connected
through his telephone, telegraph
and cable system. Tt is not
necessary for you to leave your
fireside when you wish to com
munieate with someone who in
habits the globe. All you have to
do is to call Winder Exchange,
deliver your message and same
will be attended to, and the same
charged to your phone.
No Royal Road ta Success.
Young man there is one thing
you cannot do. You cannot mak
a success in life unless you work
Older men than you have tried
it and failed. You cannot Loaf
around the street eornor, smoke
and sponge on someone else with
out making a failure of life.
You must learn a trade or get in
to some honest business. If you
cLont you will become a chronic
loafer, and there is no place in
the world for loafers. The ripe
fruit is at the top of the tree and
you must climb if you get it or
some smart man will pluck it
from you. Do something no mat
ter how sinall or how low the
wages, it will be i starter. Help
yourself and others will help you
There is no royal read to success
will, grit and endurance are the
qua’ities that lend to it. —Ex.
Don’ you feel sorry for the fel
low who has a nagging wife to
c uss over his pipe dreams.
Campbells Varnish Slams
Spreads smoothly. Cows freely and hard
ens into a permanent fnish. Good for
Fioor3, Furniture <scWoodwork
Easy to apply. 13 colors
Made fc7 Carpcr.lprOlorton Cos., Boston
ERCCM UOLDCR FRES
Present tb’c Coupon at detier** ttcre nod re
ceive onect L.j Cunpocti broom Hold cm tree
k'Oiv mALm w
For Sale by
The Winder Lumber Oompany.
A fe ler sees some j.- ,
while ridin’ on the train,
Some things he never saw be
fore, f ipd never may again.
For human nature’s at its worst
when its away from home.
Ton don’t know any felVr’s
traits until he starts fo roam.
There’s always some fat gentle
man who snores an awTul pil
And sleep all night with his sock
feet a Viangin’ in the aisle.
The spinster with tin* hat box sits
quite primly up in front.
She has a parrot who pu ls off
a shrill nerve-racking stunt.
The gabby actress person shrieks
her troubles and her woes
And peeves the tired passengers
who vainly seek repose;
Th.o usual train joker is on hand
to.goring his guff.
And sometimes there’s a punk
quartet that pulls some awful
stuff. i
The brakeman throws the portal
wide, lets in the cold and
snow,
And yells a lot of railroad Greek
that no one e'se could know.
The crying kid hits up his song
in tones bespeaking pain,
A feller gets a dandy rest while
ridin’ on thb train.
Exchange
Was The One All Right.
Editor News: A gentleman
came to see me this morning and
asked me if I was the fellow who
got so wet at the fire Sunday. I
told him that I was. He said he
was very sorry.l told him It could
have dodged it hut T went into
the company to do all I could,
lie said: “Oh, yon belong to the
company. Then it was your du
ty. Ii thought you were a volun
teer.’'’'
Now the point is this: If the
$3 BO street tax allowed mem
bers of the company makes it a
paid company, then T want coun
cil to make each man pay his
$3 00 street tax given to the
men rnd make the fire de
part m°nt pay sls special tax for
privjh ge of fighting fire in Win
der. Respectfully, Fireman.
Corinth.
Last week’s Locals.
Several from here attended
preaching at Winder Sunday.
Miss SteHa Payten visited Miss
es Tda and Mollie Smith 1 last
week.
Miss Mollie Smith spent Satur
day with Miss Stella Parten.near
Bethlehem.
Mr. Ed Horton and Miss Lur-
Tine Kinney visited Winder Sun
day afternoon.
Sunday School is on a boom at
Cbrinth. We welcome every one
to our sessions.
Miss Omie Lou Dunning spent
Saturday and Sunday with her
parents at Jefferson.
We are glad 1 to welcome Mr.
Alvin McElory who has recently
moved into our community
Messrs. Roy Meolor and Paul
Hall were the guests Sunday of
Mr. Sylvester Saul, of Winder.
Mr. David Smith and wife Were
the guests Sunday afternoon of
Mrs Effie Parten. near Bethlehem
Miss Cleo Holloway spent Satin
day and Sunday with Misses
Kathleen and Jvpsie Beding
field.
blisses Lela Smith and Lola
Helms were the guests of Misses
Tisliie and Jannie Thomas. of
Wiuder, Sunday
About the rainiest day that
came into Father Adam’s life
was when he lost that rib.
Rheumatic Pains
are quickly relieved by an application of Sloan’s
Liniment You don’t need to rub—just lay on
Miss Elsie Man they, 4229 Talman jj *'^^^Bl
Ave., Chicago. 111. writes: — 'About two p
years ago my mother broke down with U
Relief From Rheumatism
writes:—My mother has used one 50c.
bottle of Sloan’s Liniment, and although she is over 83 years of age, she has
obtained great relief from her rheumatism.”
Rheumatism Entirely Gene
Miss Eveletta Mylr, of 1215 Wyoming St., Dayton, Ohio, writes:
“My mother was troubled with rheumatism and her friends advised her to get
Sloan’s Liniment and her rheumatism is entirely gone.. At the same time the
family was troubled with ring-worms—there were five ring-worms between my
sisters and I and Sloan’s Liniment cured every one of us in a week’s time.
is the best remedy for neuralgia, sciatica, lumbago, chest
pains, asthma, hay fever, croup, sore throat and sprains.
At all dealers. Price, 123 c., 30c., and SI.OO.
Sloan’s Book on Horses, Cattle, Hogs and Poultry sent free. Address
Dr. EARL S. SLOAN, BOSTON, MASS.
OTIHGGERCROPS V
f BIGGER PRQFITJ >
Are assured through a liberal use of high'
grade, guaranteed brands of fertilizer. It
costs as much to cultivate an acre, poorly
fertilized, as it does the acre well fertilized.
Your profit depends upon your crop, and
your crop depends upon your liberal use of
FERTILIZERS
To get the best results from the liberal use
of fertilizer, the brand should be suited to
the land. We mix fertilizers, especially
suited to the different grades of Georgia soiL
If year lands are gray or loamy use our
GRAY LAND FERTILIZER; if your land is.
stiff clay or red, use our RED LAND FER*
TILIZER. Our brands are machine-mixed*,
I which insures uniformity, from the bestcoav
, centrates; our fertilizers are dry and dril&v
ble, all the time; our deliveries prompt; out
‘ prices right and our customers pleased.
‘ Manufactured by
PORTER FERTILIZER CO.. Atlanta. Gfc.
FOB SALE BY
J. n. hodges, winder, ga.
Charley Joe
THE LAUNDRVMAN
Opera House Building,
Behind Express Office.
First-Class Wrork. Satisfaction Guaranteea
All kinds of laundry neatly done.
Clothes cleaned and pressed . .
PRICES: Collars 2c, Shirts 10c, Cuffs 4c a Pair.
p FROST PROOF CABBAGE PLANTS
' GUARANTEED TO SATISFY! CUSTOMERS
FROM THE ORIGINAL CABBAGE PLANT ..GROWERS
Et ao li, h ed?B^Ts.i6To o o.o(T M
th..firrt|foST PPOOF PLANTS in 18ML Now hare over twenty thousand
customers. V, e hav.. crown indaulJ more cabbage plants than all other peraocu* In the
, ***** combined. \\ HY IH. vau.ee i,nr plants must plca.*> or we send your money hark. I
thst aeTl'for the m** p,antS ln y<Jur ®ucUon tu vt extra early cabbaffth ana they are J
We sow three tons of Cabbage Seed per
truit tree, and ornamentals. Write f r fr-c catnl g containing. valuable
anti vegetable yrow in*. Prices on Pahhage Plants —Ky mail Postage Paid 45 cents [.aSuBS
P R . T ‘ n ***Pre charges, which nndcr special rate la Tory low: 500 f—
to 4,000 $1.50 per thousand: 5,000 to 9,000 #1.25 per thousand; 10,000 and oyer #1.90 per th.
2 Wm. C. Geraty Cos., Box 462, Yonges Island, Or. Sifl^
John D. Rockefeller, Jr. man
ifests a disposition to remove
the grease spots from the fabric
of o” life.\
i<
Despite the inaugt
Mr. Wilson expeetsjj
interests dance men
ing of ' i" ’