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Swearing Off on Politic!). The man who has once been addicted to politics finds it hard to reform and break the fetters that bind him. Ho makes a resolve, in his mind, that never again will he touch the fatal politic, and he goes along for months without think ing of indulging, but in an unguarded moment, after the campaign opens, he thinks of something that can he played on tbs opposition, and he takes the first step, anil then he goes down, until elec tion day he is peddling tickets like an old stager, at night he is around hearing tlm returns, at midnight he is whooping it up with the boys, and at three a. in. he goes upstairs st home on all fours, his hat overwhelmed by s good majority, his head a* uncertain and wavering h the chances of his party, his tongue as thick as opposition vote*, and his breath as strong as the atmosphere in a malt house. He has lied to his wife about having to go to the lodge to give s< >me high degrees to some Masons from the country, and when she smells his breath she knows how high the degrcea are, and it all comes over her in a second—not the breath, but the idea—that ho has fallen from ilia high estate and again sunken in the mire of politics. After eloction, and his party is beaten, as usual, he swears upon a stack of brick, in his hat, that lie will touch not, taste not, handle not, the intoxicating and demoralizing politic, but he lies, and he knows it. What the country want* is a society for reforming men who are addicted to politics, a soci ety where he can go when he feels the old apjietite coming on, and have his thoughts turned to a different channel, lie is weak, and lie wants his brothers and sisters to take him by the hand, par ticularly the sisters, and brace him up, and make him strong against the enemy. When lie feels like taking a hand in a campaign, where he knows that he will surely fall, and come out with the smell of kerosene and beer on his garments, and cheese on liis breath, he wants to feci tlm strong arm of the society around his waist, anil bear the members singing songs of Zion instead of hurrahing for somebody for justice of the peace. Hut if such a society were formed for the reformation of the politicians, just about the time it got the converts strong enough to walk alone, tire confounded society would nominate a ticket of its own and go into the campaign making more noise than all the other political parties, and the reformed politicians would And that they had jnmiied out of the frying pan into the fire. Twas over thus from childhood's hour. —Peck's Sun. What Electricity is to Do for Us. A sanguine and imaginative writer pro diets almost incredible marvels which electricity is expected to accomplish be fore the end of the twentieth century. Chops and Htoaks will be cooked by electric sparks. The fruits of the earth will he multiplied behind colored glass. Fruits and vegetables will be grown all the year round, winter and summer, day and night. Wo now take our air and water raw, and through these two ch uncut* come all the disorders and con tagions which afflict Immunity. In the future water will be distilled and purified from all germs of disease, while air, cleared of all noxious qualities, will be admitted to ghms-eovered streets and dwellings. Houses ami places of busi ness will be situated in immense inclosed edifices, tho nir which will be wholesome and delightful to the sense of smell, summer and winter will be abolished, as the temperature can bo controlled by artificial means, and nil parts of tlm ulobo will become equally inhabitable. Day will have no attractions over night, for the artificial lights will be more pleasing than the sun. The nir will he navigated, and the groat cities l>e situated on beautiful hilltops. With the great motors shortly to bo diaoovMud, hi lire nnrniOlnii can ho levelled, while tlie ice packs around the two poh s can be liquefied ami made navigable. Wild as this seems, it is, as tins New York Hour suggests, scarcely more so than the present marvels of gas and water, telegraphs and ocean cables would have been to on Englishman of the time of Elizabeth. Attacked by a Ferocious Lion. An nuderkcopor in n menagerie wns attacked l>y n lion in Birmingham, Bug land. Ho entered tbo cage in order to clean it. To sojmrate the animals from that part of the cage that was to bo cleaned a wooden panel wns used. It reached from the top to the floor of tho cage, nml was about two inches in thick ness. The uuderkoepnr, Harris by name, does not ni>|ionr to have absolutely closed the panel as he entered. Tho largest lion -a powerful animal named ••Wallace"—sprang toward Harris, the eliding panel gi.vo way from tho pressure, and the man stood unprotected in front of the lion, who with its mouth seized the poor fellow by tho shoulder. Harris, who had a broom in his hand, pluekily defended himself for n few momenta by sti iking the lion with the handle of tho broom. But tho lion, clutching him with one of its pa we, dashed him to the ground and began gnawing at his body, from which the blood was freely flowing. The lion tamer, Alieumonsa, who was at the opposite side of tho lmll, bearing the commotion, ran to the rage. With the utmost courage and coolness ho entered the den, and twice tired his pistol, which was loaded with blank cartridges. All the time Harris was still beneath th*> lion, who was tearing his flesh. The pistol tiring had no effort whatever on the animal; and seeing this, tho lion tamer, who had w ith him a loaded whip, began striking the animal w ith the butt end of it on the head. He dealt tho lion four or live blows, ami the last, hitting the animal with terrific force between the eyes, appeared to stun it. The lion loosed Harris, who was instantly dragged out of the cage. He was Weeding pro fusely. but was not quite unconscious. “ Homo, Sweet Home.” In th(> spring of 18tid, two groat armies were encamped on either aide of the Rappahannock River, one dressed in blue and the other in grew As twilight fell the hands on the Union aide began to play •' The Star Spangled Banner" and “ Holly Round the Flag,” and that challenge of music was taken up on the other side, and they responded with “The Bonnie Blue Flag” and “Away Down South in Dixie.” It was boru in upon the soul of a single soldier in one of those bands of music to begin a aweeter and more tender air, and slowly a* he played it they joined in a sort of chorus of the instruments upon the Union side, until finally a mighty chorus swelled up and down our army “ Home, Sweet Home.’’ When they had finished there was no challenge yonder, for every V>and niton that further shore had taken up the lovely air *o attuned to all that is holiest and dearest, and one great chorus of the two great hosts went up to God; and when they had finished, from the boys in grey came a challenge, “ Three cheers for home!” and as they went resounding through the skies from loith aides of the river, something on sol diers' cheeks washes! off the stains of powder."— JV to York Ailthodtii. Two Periods. Behold her at eleven. Her limbs unfettered by the long skirts of conventionality, she, runs, she romps, she slides on the ice ponds, she rolls hoop, she climbs fences, she leaps, she kicks, she runs races and is as fleet of foot as the boys. Her appetite is good, her checks rosy, and her move ments unconsciously graceful. Behold her again at twenty. Vo more does she run or jump or roll hoops, run races or slide on the ice. It is not “proper” now nor ladylike, and she couldn't if she would, for she is lettered by long skirts, tight shoes and tighter stays. Her movement has no longer the. frecdoih and unconscious grace of child hood, for now when she walks abroad she walks to be looked at, which now in her estimation ia the main object of walking. Hlie is already in delicate health, and lias a doctor xvho proscribes expensive advice and prescriptions for her and ascribes her complaint to any thing and everything but the real cause. That is simply the fettering of the body with fashionable clothes. Physically she is a prisoner. At eloven she was free. The doctor advises travel, tint he dosen’t advise her to take off and keep oil her fashion able fetters. Hhe wouldn’t do it if lie did, and he wouldn’t advise her if be knew it would bring relief, for she would no longer believe in a doctor who would make her dress like a guy ; anil being dressed like a “ guy ” is dress ing different from the stylo prescribed by a Paris modiste. Dinna never could hunt in a trailing skirt, narrow, tight, high-heeled gaiters, anil a pinched, cor seted waist, but Dina was a belted tunic, and unfettered limbs would ho bounced off Broadway by tho nearest policeman. Dressing for health and freedom of body anil limb is one thing, and dressing for fashion quite another. A man couldn’t endure the pinching and encumbrances peculiar to female attire for an hour, and a pretty spectacle he’d make mailing about in such during business hours. Yet the “weaker sex” wear double the en cumbrances of the so-called stronger. To “ dress ” at all after the style takes up half a woman’s time anil two-thirils of her strength. —New York Graphic. About Killing Brakenion. Tho Hartford Courant, hi dwelling upon tho importance of railroad com panies using freight couples of a charac ter that wiil not endanger the lives of those who are compelled to do the coupling, says : "Each road that, in this civil zed day, continues its hrakemen butchery is re sponsible for it. Nobody denies that the poor fellows are chopped and hacked to pieces woefully every day Not a quarter of the ‘ accidents’ to them get into print. Indeed it has been even commented on as remarkable that, vhereaS in old times li.akenicn used to work their way up to places of high re sponsibility, suili thing now are rare. The present hrakemen are said to be rougher stuff. There are two good reasons why promotions are less likely than they used to he. One is that the brakomau doesn’t live long enough, and the other lies in the ‘rough stuff’ con sideration, but the reason they are the rougher stuff is that they arc brutalized by the treatment theygot. “ No other branch of industry lias ex panded so much as freight transporta tion lias with such disastrous results to those personally engaged iu it. Asa rule, when auy occupation grows in im portance the circumstances of those en gaged in it improve to correspond, fn freight transportation this has been re versed, and the braUomnn is worse off in the full growth ami activity of the busi ness than lie was when it was only be ginning. It is all wrong, and in tho name of humane trentmwut of f.-n-.n men something ought to he done to elieok the present wholesale butchery. ” Just Filling His Pipe. The brighter hours of good Bishop Corbet have been very graphically de scribed by one whokuew him well. Hie Lordship's favorite companion was hi chaplain, Dr. Lushingtoii. When the business of the day was over, the Bishop delighted to descend with this faithful henchman into the cellar of the episco pal palace, Corbet would then doff bis hood, saying, "There lies the Doctor he would then divest himself of bis gown, adding, "There lies the Bishop. ’’ The glasses were tilled and the blast was drunk. “ Here’s to thee, Liusliingtou," " Here's to thee, Corbet.” The celebrated Dean Aldrich was tho slave of bin pipe. There is a story iu the biography of John Phillips, the poet, which not only amusingly illustrates this weakness on the part of the Dean, but gives a curious glimpse of the free and easy way in which the dons and un dergraduates of those days used to live. A senior student laid a wager with one of his college chums that tho Dean was at that moment smoking his pipe, that instant being about 10 o’clock in ttie morning. Away, therefore, he went to the deanery, w here having made Ins way into tho Dean’s study, ho explained the reason of his appearance at so early an hour. "Ah,” replied iho Dean, with the utmost coolness, "you have lost your wager, for I am cot smoking but tilling my pipe." —From Temple liar. Saddle Horses and Saddle Halts. There is an increasing demand of late for good saddle horses. The gsi's that especially command a horse for use in the saddle oro tlio walk, the fox trot, tlio single foot and the rack. The walk is a gait understood by everybody, but every lash- dot's not understand that a good saddle horse ought to be aide to go a sipiare walk at the rate of five milea an hour. The fox trot is faster than the square walk and the horse will u-ually take a few steps at this gait when chang ing from n fast walk to a trot. The single-foot differs somewhat from the fox trot and has been described a* exactly intermediate between the true trot and the true walk. Each foot appears to move independently of the other, with a sort <if pit a-pat, ouc-at-a-time motion, and it i* a muoH faster gait than the fox trot. The rack is very nearly allied to the true pacing gait, the difference being that in the latter the hind foot keeps ex act time with the fore foot of the same side, making it what has l>een called a literal or one-aide-at-a-time motion, while in the former the hind foot touches the ground slightly in advance of the fore foot on the same side. The rack is not so fast a gait as tha true pace, but is a desirable gait in a saddle hone.—Va tional Live Stock Journal. Two young Canadians who nearly killed themselves by blowing out the gaa at a Bradford hotel, say they wonld doit again rather than turn the light down into the gas pipe and cause an explosion. The innocents are abroad and ought to be got homo as sjieedily as possible. The man who was “ spell-bound” ob taiuod relud by oouaultuig the Acuou *ry- With the Sandwich Islander* tear* ara recognised as a sign of joy. \ SOUND PHENOMENON. Will I'nrlvif- Bi*ll mill WSlatlfi *l-arKr NoinHlniM to Vary In Pltrti. (From tho i'rovidoiict Journal.} “When two trains, going in an op jxisito direction at a rapid rato, meet each other, with the engine bells ring ing, or whistles blowing, a passenger of the one train notices a marked variation in the pitch of the bell or whistle of the other train. When the sound first strikes the ear, the pitch is at its highest. Gradually it goes down as the train ihv-.hes past, and the lowest pitch is reached when the last notes fall on the eat. Why is this?” This qu -stion was propounded to an engineer by an individual thirsting for information. “Tho question is simple enough,” was the reply. “To start with, it is an axiom w hich needs no proving that the pitch of a sound depends on its number of vibrations. Thus, while forty vibra tions a s cond produce the lowest sound, 40,;;)d a second produce the highest. Pitch rises with an increase of the num ber of vibrations. “A certain number of vibrations are emitted by the bell or whistle during the time the'train is running a certain distance—oiy a quarter of a mile. Sup pose each train runs this distance in half a minute). Then, as the one train ap proaches that in which the listening passenger i; seated, all the vibrations emitted during tho half-minute will strike the ear in less than half a minute (supposing, of course, that they can be heard over so great a distance.) Tho reason for this is that the first will not bo heard until more than two seconds after it lias been emitted, as the sound will have to travel half a milo, while the lust, will be heard the instant it is emit ted, because the engine will then be within a few feet of the ear. Thus, thirty seconds’ vibrations will be heard in twenty-eight seconds. When tho trains are receding from each other, the vibrations emitted durifig the half-minute will take rather more than thirty-two seconds to reach the ear, as that emitted when the train is half a mile off will have to travel to the ear.” “Can you illustrate this to make it plainer?” the engineer was asked. “Certiinly I can. Supiiosc a man with a rubber hose stands ten yards from a tub. The capacity of his hose enables him to squirt a pint of water per second into that tub. But if, during, sny, five seconds, ho walks up to the tub, nil the while allowing his hose to pour water into it, there will bo more than five pints of water as the result of that five seconds’ work. Tiiere will be five pints, plus the quantity contained in (lie etronra which would have fallen to the ground if he had stood still and nt the end of the live seconds turned the cock, shutting off tho stream. By tho approach of the whistle or bell of an en gine a greater number of vibrations meet the ear in a given time, just ai a greater quantity of water readies tho tub from the hose by the approach of the ilozzle. And, accepting as correct tho axiom that the greater number of vibrations the higher the pitch, it will be seen that when the trains approach the ear gets more thm its due share of vibrations per second, and when they recede it gets less than its share. The llight Time to Kiss. An observant and i vidently discrimin ating young reader of the Time. writes to say that lie has read with lively snti faetion the occasional expositions of kiss ing in the various moods and tenses thnt he, is still in doubt as to the right time to begin kissing. He retails at some length the embarrassments that, this uneertain itv bus brought upon him, anil begs tho publication 1 ,1 l,i toller in full, that, others who are similarly situated may contribute to tho discussion and thus make the matter clear to those who are willing but timid. His own experience is not without cer tain unique interest. He lias known tho "thosweetest girl in the world” ever since lie left school. Sho belongs to a family that considers it a fir.it duty to "live up to the dining-room dado and the blue china” Unit garnishes the side board and table. The mother holds kiss ing in abomination and is fond of remark ing that the "intellect is not fed through the 1 1 Jim that a kiss :r a purely fleshly jierversion of tho sweet intimacy of msthetie love. Under such a'frowning providence the young gir! he adores dis plays an aversion to kissing him good night, in welcoming him with this lover’s privilege when ho comes of an evening to take lior to church, the theater or what not. This, it will bo seen, is a rather trying plight for a young lover—for a kiss is the visible sign and token of an inner senti ment winch no words can express. The eyes and the tongue do a great deal of appreciable work in love-making, buttlie meeting of the lips is the sigu and seal, the chrism, so to speak, which trans forms the earthly into the divine. Love without a kiss would be like the harp without the hand, the rainbow without its hue; the book without its babble; the landscape without its colors; the tea-rose —sweetest (lower for scent that blows— without its oner; the borealis without its variations; poetry w ithout rhythm;spring without sunlight; a garden without, foli age ormnrringo w ithout love. The young woman whose ideals teach her to recoil from u kiss cheats tho lover of the joys of loving and does not deserve the devotion of a manly heart. Hlie may live up to the dining-room dado and the sideboard bric a-brao. but she will never prove a con genial wife, and our correspondent will save his heart-strings many a future wrench by leaving her to her dado and bric-a-brac.— Ph iladelphia Time*. Thkßi'i sident of the American Society of Mechanical Engineers, Mr. B. H. Thurston, points out ttiree fields for in vention. iu which success must mean fame and fortune. The lifst is some plan for producing electricity, without loss, directly from burning coal, with no in tervention of special and costly apparatus such as is now employed. The worker in rho second field must find a plan to produce the soft light of the fire fly in such s manner as to be a practical and ooiumerci.d success. Recent progress lets nearly solved this problem. The third go at field for invention is the navigation of the air. n-f wxehajtok thinks the cause of tem- I perance will stand a poor show if a Ger- I man chemist has discovered, as he says. I how to make brandy from saw dust. ' There is not much chance for a temper j anoe preacher to get in his work when I "a man can take Ids ripsaw and go out I arid get drunk on a fence rail. ” But there i is really nothing to prevent bis getting I drunk on a fence rail or any other un i comfortable place, eveu if Germau : science has not made tliis new discovery. I It men were to get drunk on fence rails ■ instead of in front of bars, as they do ! uow, it might net bo so comfortable, but thiy wouldn't get drunk so often. | CoMintrsavD gun powder, cot in short lengths to lit the drill holes, is found by experiment to have many advantages, among which is a saving of AO per cent iu powder. Baiting Will* Minnow*. For a long time Mr. Furness studied upon some plan to crush the milkman a.id make him acknowledge the fraud he had lieen practicing for months, and at last an idea struck him. He hunted up his son’s fish pole and started for the lake, end- after some three hours of patient fishing on the Government break water returned home with half a dozen perch, that would average shout four inches in length, and placed them in the aquarium. Then he told the hired girl to be sure and call him early enough in the morning so that he could go out and get the milk when the milkman came along. he wanted to see the milkman poetic übirly, on business, and she said sh£ would be sure anil call him, and she dim About seven o’clock there was a rush of wheels, the jangle of a hell and the milkman was at the door. Mr. Furness seizod the pitcher and then rushed to the aquarium. Only ttiree of the fish were alive, the others having died during the night. Mr. Furness seized the live ones, thrust them into the pitcher and rushed out. By holding the pitcher pretty high up, the milkman waH prevented from seeing what was in it, and he poured in the milk, all unconscious of the trap that was laid. Mr. Furness then handed over the milk ticket and said, it beat all what weather wo were having this fall. Tho milkman said he never saw such weather since the fall of '47, when there w-as a period of seven weeks that the sun never shone. “For goodness sake, my friend,” said Mr. Furness, “what on eartli is in this milk ?” “I don’t inow, I’m sure,” said the milkman; ’Mot’s see.” And he bent over and looked into tlio pitcher. “Why, it’s something alive I” ex claimed Mr. Furness. “Here," said the milkman, “let’s pour it out.’’ And he took the top off a milk can and hold it while Mr. Furness ponroii out the contents of the pitcher. “Fish, by tlie Lord Hurry I” said the astonished milkman. “Well, I should sap fish !” ejaculated Mr. Furness, indignantly, and looking at the milkman in a searching manner. “What does it mean?” “I’m blessed if I know,” said the floor milkman, helplessly. “Well, I’m sure / don’t,” said Mr. Furness. There was a long pause, anil then Mr. Furness said : “I want you to tell me candidly, now, just how much Water you put in your milk and Whether you put iu anything else besides-water.” “ Well, you see, sometimes I am a little short. When I have milk enough to go around to all my customers I ilou’t put in any water ; but when I have sale for—well siv—a huuilrod quarts, ami only have ninety or ninety-live quarts of milk—well, I can’t afford to lose my customers, you know.” “Are you short very often ?” Mr. Fur ness asked. “Well, no—not very often,” and the man blushed and moved uneasily on the sent. “Isee the subject is becoming pain ful,” said Mr. Furness, stiffly, “and I will not pursue it further. But don’t you think (hat hereafter you cau fur nish me With a little purer article of milk, and we will let by gones be by gones.” “Yes, sir. I think I can.” They bad* each other good morning, and ever siice then the milk furnished the Furness family has been almost pure cream.— Path's Sun. A Greenhorn’s Irish Experience. A story yin- told of nn Englishman whe landed in Dublin filled with apprehen sion that the life oi any loval subject oi Her Majesty was not north a farthing there anil thereabouts. The Land Leaguers, lie imagined, were all blood thirsty assassins, and all that sort of thing. But it was bis duty to travel j n the land—a duty ho approached with fear and trembling. Now there happened to bo on liis route a number of towns, the names of which begin with the suggestive syllable “Kil.” Tlfere was Kilmartin, anil soon. Iu his ignorance of geographical nomen clature his affriglited senses were startled anew on hearing a fellow-jiassenger in the railway carriage remark to another as follows : "I am just after bein’ over to Kilpat rick.” “And I.” replied the other, “am afthcr bein’ over to Kilmday. ” " What murderers they are ! ” thought the Englishman. “And to think that they talk of their assassinations so pub licly ! ” But the conversation went on. “And where are ye goin' uow?” asked assassin No. 1. “I’m goin’ home, anil then to Kill more,” was No. 2's reply. The English man’s blood curdled. " Kilmore, is it?” added No. 1. “ You’d betther be cornin’ along wid me to Kilumanle.” It is related that the Englishman left the train at tho next station. Whittier’s First Poem. Whittier's first attempt at poetry was made when about seventeen years of age, and tho manuscript copy was taken from his loom by his sister, without his knowl edge, and was given to John Morse, the paper earlier of the district at that time, .Moore being enjoined to carefully place the copy in Garrison’s office, and to pre serve the utmost secrecy regarding the author. On the occasion of his next visit to Newbury oort, Morse e rejit quietly up the stairs leading to Garrison’s office, and placed the copy beneath the door, where it was found by Garrison, and a few days later published in the Fire Press." This p >em, the original manu -cript copy of which is said to lie now in the iHissession of the publisher of the Portland Transcript, was styled by Whittier, "A Paraphrase About the Prophet Elijah. ” The day following the publication of this poem, Whittier was engaged with his uncle in rwjmiriug a stone w all that bad l>een torn down by sheep, and when the Free Press was tossed to him from the road by Morse, Whittier opened it to obtain a view of its contents, when, lo arid liehold, there was his first poem standing out boldly at the head ot the column. Whittier was transfixed with delight, and stood motionless, gazing at the precious lines, until liis sublime rev erie was broken by his nncle. who, lean ing over the wall, bade him drop the paper sad return to his work. En o 'ttraged bv the success ot his first ef fort, Whittier wrote several poems which appeared successively iu the Free Press, Haverhill Gazette, and Boston Statesman.—Boston Star. A stkangkr, on taking his seat in the pit of a theater, accosted a gentleman who sat near him, with: "Pray, sir, have you a bill?” When, to the stranger's amazement, the gentleman, starting from a reverie in which he had been plunged, exclaimed ; " No, lir.bnt I have two next week and both unpro vided for.” Care of a Cold. There are some few constitutions that need the old remedy of feeding a cold, hut these are chiefly elderly folks, or those young ones who never have any great amount of vitality at any time. There is a peculiar hoarse and loose stomachic cough in middle life, that has been cured by plentiful sprinklings of cayenne pepper over every article of food that could bear it, and liy good feeding. Here a stimulus was needed. Here two or four grains of quinine do good. But for one eaae where beef es sence or beefsteak, with red pepper, is of use, there ate a hundred that aro re lieved by slacking off digestive work. The dull, congested lungs and the scar let throat of an inflammatory cold aro very near neighbors to the digestion. When the bellows are wheezing or choked, do not put in much work at the forge. Grapes are refreshing and are said to have a specific action on the nerves of the throat and lungs. There fore feed vour cold and sore throat on grapes. Drink milk for thirst aud let it take the place of all cooked food and of all meats. It is the one food that is meat and drink. When there is the slightest approach to pneumonia, any thing like a chill or contact with a cliilied surface may be fatal. There fore do not bring cold milk to such a sufferer any more than you would ice water, which has acted as a death war rant before now. Take the chill off the milk by heating it nearly to a scalding point. ” Do not let it boil ; for the few people who enjoy the taste of boile.l milk there are many to whom tho “skin” on the top is disliked. It should be “milk” warm, that is about the temperature of blood. There is so much in nursing a congested cold, litng inflammation, or the heavy cold that produces nausea, that nursing is half tho cure. Avoid all sudden changes of temperature or draughts in the room. Do not throw open the window to air it, but contrive to secure a supply of fresh air iu an indirect way. Get the fresh air into the entry of the next room, aud then coax it into the sick-room, behind a screen or in such a way that there is no sudden chance in temnerature. Canes The New York World interviewed a cane merchant, who said: “Styles in canes ? Why, they change almost as often as the cut of women’s dresses do,” said a manufacturer of walking-sticks yesterday. “ I have been iu this busi ness since it was established by my father in 1841, and during that time I have learned that new shapes in sticks must be invented every year. A good cane is an old man’s friend, and ft hand some one is a youug man’s pride. One may as well be out of the world as out of the fashion, and the young man now adays who doesn’t carry a ‘ crook ’ may as well go to the nearest dock and throw himself into the river. When I say crook, 1 moan the latest thing out in canes. It is in similiar shape to the curved-handle stick, which has always been in vogue, but generally carried by old gentlemen. There are two styles, the shepherd’s crook, shaped like a fish hook, and tho Zulu crook, a plain curved handle. Both styles originated on the other side, as do most of the fashions in canes. The Zulu is from Paris, aud the shepherd from London. They were in troduced there last spring, and took the place of the crutch which was so popu lar last year.- These new styles are made from natural woods with handles, and yet there are a great many made with chamois or buffalo-horn handles. Wiieu I was a young man, a whale-bone cano was tho proper thing, and since then there have been the agate topped Malacca, the bamboo and barked (kicks of different shapes. Tbe makers here get woods from all over the world, tho most expensive being the Malacca, which comes from the swamps in the straits of Malacca, and the leopard wood, olive, and snake wood from Africa. America can supply the wants of the world for pretty barked wood. For canes, the ash plant, very popular aiaong Englishmen, comes from Great Britain, whore it is cultivated to a great extern for cane use alone. When used ns a walking stick it is never varnished, but carried just as it was pulled. The fancy woods (such as Malacca, Penang anil Wnukee bamboos) aro generally mounted in gold or silver, with ham mered heads, and often cost as much as $30.” fhe Stature of Different Races of Men In comparing races as to their stature we concern ourselves not with the tallest or shortest men of each tribe, but with the ordinary or average-sized men who may bo taken as fair representatives of their whole tribe. The difference of general stature is well shown where a tall and short people come together in me district. Thus in Australia the av erage English colonist of five feet eight inches looks clear over the heads of the five feet four-inch Chinese laborers. Still more iu Sweden does the Swede >f five feet seven inches tower over the stunted Lapps, whose average measure is not much over five feet. Among the tallest of mankind arc the Patagonians, who seemed a race of giants to the Eu ropeans who first watched them striding dong their cliffs draped in their skin cloaks; it was even declared that the heads of Magalkeau’s men hardly reached the waist of the first Patagonian they met. Modern travelers find on measuring them, that they really’ often reach six feet four inchs, their mew .light tv iug about five feet eleven inches —three or four inches taller than the av srage Englishman. The shortest of mankind are the Bush men and related tribes in South Africa, with an average liight not far exceeding four feet 6ix inches. Asa fair contrast be tween the tallest and shortest races of maukiud it may be stated that if a Pata gonian and Bushman stood side by side, the latter's head would only reach to the breast of the former. Thus, the tallest race of man is less than one-fourth taller than the shortest, a fact that seemß surprising to those not used to measurements. In general, the itature of the women of any race may be taken as about one-sixteenth less than Chat of the men. Thus, in England, a man of five feet eight inches and a woman of five feet four inches look an vrdinary well-matched couple. Surface Accomplishments. That reading does not necessarily ir ake a eulfivated person is a truth not generally apparent, even to conscien tious readers who suppose them selves to be going through a process of cultiva tion. There is comparatively small pleasure in talking of book and subjects connected with literature with an uncul tured person, however he may be in the habit of reading; while in the presence of cultivated m n and women, almost the first word reveals that the reading has been assimilated and become a pan of their mental substance, so to speak, and there is felt at once a oommon ground to move upon, an unspoken un derstanding of each other’s point of view. —Atlantic MonUiiu ZEKE’S MAD BIDE. on , Bay Tried In Count lh Bir In Ike Man* of rrljhleilMl Hori-. [From th rhilnlalphai Timet.] Zeke was thought to be the dunce of tho family. He wasn’t dull exactly, but because of his quiet ways and liis love of sleep he got to be known as the most back ward of the bright Bumwell boys. Zeke was so lazy that he couldn't count, though twelve years ol age. When, along about noon, his father would say: “ Run, Zeke, and tell me what time it is, ’ Zeke would look at the clock and remark : “ Little hand’s a stickin’ straight up I One day Jerry, tho black man, made fun of Zokc, saying: “G’lang wid ye, yo do'au know yer foot from a hole in do ground; g’way from heah en larn to count up yer A B and a, ” What Jerry said made the hid feel ashamed. That night he covered his head with a quilt, and said to himself that he wished a bugaboo would catch him by the toes and take him to the bad place. As he was feeding the horses next morning he asked his friend Joe, the stableman, how he could learn to count. Joe laughed and winked at a big horse named Bob. “Why, yon pester you, why don’t you get up onto Bob’s back aud count them air hairs in his mane?” That made Zeke’s blood feel hot Ju his face. “All right,” he said, and bound ing from the hay-mow he lighted upon Bob’s back. Bob was taken by surprise, He wasn’t in the habit of having boys on his back at breakfast, so he started on a wild run. If Zeke couldn’t count he could ride a horse as a swallow rides the air. Away went Bob out the lane and up the country road. Zeke grasped a handful of the mane and began to pick out the black threads. “One, two, three, four, five—but just as he Was about to say six a violent jerk of the horse’s head drew the mane from his hand. Nothing daunted, how ’ever, the boy began again. Bob was run ning up the road at full speed. “Hal ha!” hallooed a man by the roadside, “ wliat are you doin’?” “Countin’ hairs,”said Zeke. “What a little fool!” exclaimed the man; “ho might as iyell try to number the hairs of my head, but before he could get through with his job every hair would be gray. ” But the dashing horse and his bold rider were out of hearing and out of sight. They went steadily on for nearly an hour. Zeke had counted a thousand end Bob’s ran had dropped into a swift trot. “Hold on,” said a gentleman whom they met on the bridge; “where are you going to without saddle or bridle ?” “Counting the hairs of the horse’s mane,” replied Zeke, never looking up. “ Why don’t you count the hairs of his tail?” roared the gentleman, with much merriment; but on sped Bob with Zeke bending closely over liis neck. Boon afterward the frightened horse came to the Schuylkill River. Into the water he trotted, and soon he was swim ming for the other shore. This Zeke had not expected. The shock of tile Cold water caused him to forget bis count, and he was obliged to cling to the mane to save his life. “ Anyhow-,” Zeke said, “I find the mane of some use.” When Bob reached the other bank he kept on as madly as before, but seeing that his rider was more than a match for him, he at last stopped short and began to turn the head toward Zeke. Meanwhile Zeke had given over his attempt to count the hairs of the mane. Wliat he was thinking about was how he could procure a bridle. His hands still grasped the hairs, which felt so smooth and strong that the lad de cided to try and make a bridio out of them. With his jackknife he succeeded in cutting off several strands, whioH tied and twisted together in a clumsy fashion. A stick of crooked oak, whit tled smoothly, served as a bit. Zeke looked with pride upon his odd pieces of harness, and he was delighted when Bob, responding to a pull of the rein, trotted off homeward. That night Zeke ate his supper in pain in bed, but the strange adventure so worked upon his mind that it resulted In good. Ho applied himself to his books, and now he is professor in one of tho best colleges of the country. The Weight of a Million Dollars. In answer to an inquiry liy Assistant Secretary French, the" Government Actuary” Mr. E. B. Elliott, has fur nished the following information as to tho weight of a million standard gold dollars and that of the same num ber of staudard silver dollars : The standard gold dollar of the United States contains of gold of nine tenths fineness 25.8 grains, and the standard silver dollar contains of silver of niue-teutlis fineness 412.5 grains. One million standard gold dollars, consequently, weigh 25,800,000 grains, or 53,70 U ounces troy, or 4,479 1-6 pounds troy of 5,700 grains each, or 3,685.71 pounds avoirdupois, of 7,000 grains each, or 1,843-1,000 “ short ” ton of 2,000 pounds avoirdupois each, or 1,645-1,600 " long” tou of 2,240 pounds avoirdupois each. One million standard silver dollars weigh 412,500,000 grains, or 859,375 ounces troy, or 71,614.58 pounds troy, or 58,928.57 pounds avoirdupois, or 29 464 1,000 “short” tonß of 2,000 pounds avoirdupois each, or 26 307-1,000 ‘‘long”tonß of 2,240 pounds avoirdu piois each. In round numbers the following table represents the weight of a million dol lars in the coins named : Description of Coin. Tons Standard gold coin. 19$ Standard silver ooin. 26Jjf Subsidiary silver coin 25 liincr ooin, 5-oent nickel 100 What Influences Digestion. There are certain substances upon which the gastric juice exerts no action, and it should be remembered that whatever goes through the stomach un touched passes undissolved through the whole of the alimentary canal. The frequency with which such substances as dried” currants and appie pips are passed unaltered is familiar enough to all. Indigestible substances are oc casionally retained in the stomach, caus ing pain, indigestion and irritation for days and days together. Thera aje avoid, what to wear, where and how to live, by what means to avoid infection, to keep off disease, and to escape death for a few weary and worried years are questions which engross the thoughts, if they do not embitter the lives, of tne multitude, that the projiosirion, "Is a sanitary life worth living?” has come e be a subject of serious contemplation, and odc which the taxed and harassed community will sooner or later be com pelled to entertain.— Dr. J M. Gran ville, in the Spectator. Lord Derby has ten men servants in the house and about forty more domes tics feeding daily at his board. Suppos ing to-morrow fie and his wife should agree to struggle along on SIOO.OOO a year he could save at least SBOO,OOO a year; while were the Dukes of West minster, Devonshire and Bedford to do likewise their savings would be still greater. Supposing Lord Derby to save at this rate for thirty years what an arch* millionaire he would become I HUMORS OF THE DAY. “If time ia money,” what ia etet nity? It has just come to light that Georgs Washington once lied—in ambnah. Most matches are sulphurous f love matches always spring into a flame. If the throwing of a eky rocket is not a light sentence, it is at least a light sent hence. A barf, foot is a good tacks collector; but the owner groans as the iron enters his sole. Bored of under-writers—the man who yawningly reads a long list of signatures to a petition. Ik friendship the strongest attach ment yields to money. In law, money yields to the strongest attachment.— Texas Siftings. Modestt : The masked burglar is a modest creature. He covers his face that he iusy not be witness to his own wickedness. A bitter number-*-^ui nine. A sweet number—sixteen. An sesthetio number —two. A bad number fd? A boarding. house—eight. “ Is tiiat tte cuckoos’s roiecj I hear?” Said Juliet at her casement. , And Romeo said: “Of course, not, dear; \ The cook is in the basement.” — Son Francisco Wcsp. j No matter how rich a young man may be, he always prefers mending his suspenders with cord, to purchasing a new pair.— Ptich. A Michigan man deserted his wife “because she was deaf and dumb.” Men lit-tle know when they have a treas ure in the house.— St. Louia Post. If Lot’s wife had any children, would they be tbe salt of the earth?— Pall River Advance. No, they would belong to an odd Lot after their mother had been salted away.— Steubenville Herald. First Fresh—“ How did the Me morial Hall election come out ?” Second Fresh—“Oh, Carver had 11 votes. Salt ora!), and Scattering 516.” First Fresh Then Scattering got it.” “Ah ! what has become of your son ? Haven’t, seen him lately.” “He’s at tached to a banking-house as cashier.” “Attached? Oh 1 I see—they tie ’em up so they can’t run- away. Capital idea I” How is it that when a young lady runs off and marries a coachman, everybody generally, and her parents in particular, raise old Cain about it, and nothing at all is ever said when a bride marries a groom ? There seems to be some discussion as to whether a man should squeeze his girl hard or soft. About the right thing is a happy medium ; that is, squeeze her both rb hard and's oft as you can,— Wit and Wisdom. The following remark is made by the New York Commercial: “The majority of sculptors have a cast in their eye.” And would lead one to suppose that sculptors who teach their art have very bad pupils. Mart Jane wants a recipe for pre serving the hflir. Certainly. Use white sugar, “ pound for pound, ” add enough water to make a heavy syrup, add the hair and four ounces of olemargarine, boil, strain and put up in glass or stone jars.— Hartford Times. A religious fanatic of our acquaint ance will not partake of spring lamb be cause they are addicted to gamboling.— Toledo American. And the. same mau goes about looking very sheepish about it.— Cambridge Tribune. Wether this is true or not we can’t say, bnt if it is, ewe must be the om.—Steubenville Herald. , A Talc of Texas. i The late Capwi. j,™ es M. Armstrong,, of! Texas—as honesAwtia j/oWotfe . mt# ns ever lived in any age or • a ' migrated from Fayette County, Ken tucky, to Texas, when scarely arrived at manhood, immediately after tke Repub lic had been organized. He was a quiet, but very shrewd and observing youth. Soon after liis arrival at Nacodoches, he found out that the refugees from justice (from "the States”), who were then quite numerous iu that place, were in the habit of holding, from time to time, at night, what they called “ The Awful Court, ” Every new comer was arrested —-generally when he least suspected it, — was brought before the “court,” which oat with an imposing array of officers and spectators in a secluded room, was arraigned and asked ; "What made you come to Texas ?” If, in his reply, he didn't admit that he came as a refugee from justice because he bad committed rome crime, the judge would order him to bo whipped until he confessed : and whee he had confessed he was sen tenced to treat the crowd. No new comer was permitted to claim that- he was innocent, and came of his own free will. If the party arrested, however, answered promptly’, stating some oriiue that lie had committed before leaving “the States,” and giving time, place, and circumstances, he was at onco dis charged without costs. "The Awful Court” was generally presided over bv one L., who was known to have robbed a gold mining company, which was the immediate cause of liis leaving Georgia. One day, in conversation, he observed to young Armstrong: “ Young man, we will have you up before our * Awful Court. ’ ’ Armstrong, with an air pf surprise and diffidence, said he hoped pot, ana passed on. On the night of that Ter > day he was arrested and led throng I’ devious ways to where "The Awi'U Court” was sitting. Although the hour was late, the dimly lighted court-room nas throDged. In a few moments the presiding judge ordered him to stand up, old then in a distinct voice, before the hut bed audience, put the following question : "Young man, what made you com* to fexas ?” Armstrong replied hesitatingly, with an air of embarrassment: “It was such a mean little thing that I don’t want to tell about it.” The question was calmly put a second time, and received the same answer. Thereujion the presiding judge sternly remarked : " I now ask vou for the third and last time, what made you come to Texas ?” Armstrong responded with apparent confusion : “If I must toll I most. ■- stole a sheep.” “Stole a sheep!” exclaimed the pre siding jmige, in real astonishment. "Stole a Men, did you eveT hear of the like? Young man, what made you steel a sheep ?” Armstrong drily replied : “ Because they who came to Texas ahead of me left nothing else iu the criminal Une to do.” “ The prisoner's discharged and tne court adjourned.” said Judge L. '* Men. it’s my treat.” When Captain Armstrong was in com mand of a volunteer company of Tex l2 ; m Louisiana, in 1364, the writer learner from him that the above was literal*. - true.— Texas Sifting*. Mr. Teudbn’s tailor bill is said to aver age $3,00Q g year, and ha hke little man.