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TV. K. HARP, Publisher. VOLUME 11. NEWS GLEANINGS. Georgia has 2,517 drinking|saloons. The bonded debt of Louisiana is sll,- 786,850. There are seventy-tliree saw mills, all in Obeon county, Tenn. Last year Texas imported corn. This year she will have millions of bushels to sell. Hon. Alexander H. Stephens says he now weighs five 'pounds more than he ever did before. A solid lump ol pure silver, weighing• nearly a pound, was found near Mag nolia, N. C., receutly. The explosion of a bottle of ginger pop caused an Augusta, Ga., lady to loose the sight of both eyes. A steamship from Norfolk to New York a few days ago carried 20,< 00 chickens from Southwestern Virginia. North Carolina lias 776 saw-mills, with a capital of $1,743,217, employing 3,< 29 hands, and the products are worth $2,672,796. The total consumption of cotton hy North Carolina mills and factories for the year ending August 31, 1882, was op non one i a A panther six feet in length was re- COM II V Killed 111 UuoUoncm .... ... 4 , A.T „ It had for a long time been a terror to the neighborhood. During the year of 1881 ninety-six wild cats were killed in St. Johns county, Fla., and so far this year seventy-six have bitten the dust. The average corn crop in Tennessee is 60,000,000 bushels, but it will reach 160,000,000 bushels this year. The whea - crop will reach nearly 12,000,000 bushels. Mrs. Bozeman, whose age is well am thenticated to have been 115 years, died in the Halifax county (N. C.) poor house last week. She leaves a great great grandchild forty years old. The crop of sugar made in Louisana during the season of 1881-2 amounted to 159,874,950 pounds, equivalent to 122,982 hogsheads. The production of molasses amounted to 9,691,104 gallons, or 200,194 barrels. An Alabama law, passed by the last Legislature, prohibits the owners of sheep killing dogs to permit them to run at large. The first conviction under the law was made in Jefferson county re cently, and the owner of the dog fined $75. The Montgomery (Ala.) Advertiser learns with surprise that the “poor but proud” young women of that city are reluctant to engage as operatives at the cotton mill for fear that such employ ment is'“not quite respectable.” Fifty one counties in Georgia have no licensed saloons. Two others close out October 1. Seven have only one each, and in many counties the the sale is confined exclusively to the county town. The prohibition element is becoming stronger and more formidable every day The corn crop for the State of Geor gia is estimated by the State Agricult ural Department to be in the neighbor hood of 30,000,000 bushels, which makes the yield about equal to that of 1859 which latter has long been regarded as probably the larges corn crop ever gath ered in the State. The Blair family, of Camden, S. C., have a sad record. Miss Blair, a beau tiful girl, has just committed suicide. Her great grandfather was hanged, her grandfather committed suicide, her fa ther, L. W. R. Blair, was tried for mur der, and escaped only to fall in a per sonal rencounter with Capt. Haile, a short time since. One of her brothers is now in the State penitentiary, serving out a life sentence for murder. At the Saviour’s Home, a fanatical institution at Little Rock, Ark., no medicine is given to the sick, no matter what the disease with which they are suffering. One of the inmates, a child, died recently for want of medical treat ment, and the inhuman managers of this more than inhuman institution made no effort to save its life. They should be prosecuted for willful murder, and the name of the house prefixed by some thing smacking to ha ’s. The present name is a misnomer all reports be true. A Protracted Bankruptcy Case. Just before his death, 101 years ago, Commercial Councillor Scharf, of Kin beck, became a bankrupt, and the “Royal Great-Britanic Electoral Bruns wickian-Luneburgish Chancery of dust ice” in Hanover published an official announcement that his estate would undergo liquidation in due course. That solemn process is now' about to be completed by the Second district court at Goettingen, which informs the Ger man public by advertisement in the lo cal papers that the heirs of Councillor Scharf s creditors will do well to prefer their claims to his estate, inasmuch as the assets thereof amount to some Id,- 000 marks. This sum the court holds at the disposition of the estate’s credit ors. If not claimed by their lawful representatives before a given date, however, it will lapse to the Prussian exchequer, which has suceeded to the rights and prerogatives formerly en joyed by the Crown of Hanover. THE JACKSON NEWS. TOPICS OF THE DAY. Philadelphia claims to have 5,000 laudanum drinkers. Patents for car couplers are issued at the average of one a day. A Southern paper calls courage the temporary paralysis of discretion. Boston, Chicago, Cincinnati, Milwau kee and Louisville, are all holding expo sitions. It is stated that the free ice distrib uted by New York philanthropists lias caused much sickness. It is stated that the State coffers of Italy now contain 550,000,000 of coin laid up toward the abolition of the forced paper currency. An Illinois woman gave a tramp a bogus quarter to get rid of him, and he made it cost her au arrest and fifty dol lars in cash before ho was satisfied. The Postmaster General has decided that a stamp cut in pieces and thereafter affixed to mail matter is not good, though the stamp has never been canceled. The Smith will make 7,000,000 gallons of cotton sped oil this year, and you will buy some of it put up in nice shape and labeled olive oil irom Italy. Liszt, the great composer, is always surrounded by women, who cling to him like lovesick maidens. He kisses botli hands and cheek whenever lie takes a fancy. Owing to the opposition of the rela tives of the late Charles Dickens, the collection of his earlier plays and poems, announced for publication hs London, is to be suppressed. It is related that a young gentleman connected with the English Foreign Office the other day went to a telegraph office and asked to see the original of a telegram which had arrived from Egypt. Morse, who invented the telegraph, and Bell, the inventor of the telephone, both had deaf mute wives, which leads a wag to observe: “Just see what a man can do when everything is quiet.” The richest man in Mexico is an Irish man named Patricio Milmo, who owns a 400,000 acre farm, and is reputed to be worth $10,000,000. When he went to Mexico he had not a dollar. He got his start by a fortunate marriage. Czar Alexander IK. evidently ex pects to survive his coronation. He is adding to tho seventeen palaces of his father anew one at Peterhoff, overlook ing the Gulf of Finland. Its founda tions are to be completed this fall at a cost ef $300,000. Etienne, the well known French au thority on the subject, lias issued bis estimates of the harvests of the world for 1882. His report is, on the whole, de cidedly favorable, indicating no serious deficiency in crops in any quarter of the world, and a general abundance through nut, Europe and America Tiie Mormon priesthood has been cir culating a secret circular in Utah, giving instructions to their people directly opposite to the law rulings of the Com missioners. One of the circulars has been unearthed. They also decide to have three Bishops sit with the Precinct Registrars and oversee registration. The Gentiles are much incensed at the inter ference. A report is current that 300 of Gari baldi’s old comrades have banded them selves together with the determination of taking his body from its present rest ing place, and of causing it to bo cremated according to the desire expressed in his will. Whether the report, which is believed in Italy, be true or not is not yet known ; Dut it has been thought advisablo that a guard should be placed near his grave. Emoby Thomas sent to Mary Brown, at Jackson, Michigan, silk for a dress ns a present. He wished to marry her and she was inclined to consent; hut when she learned that the silk was part of the booty of a burglary, she became the principal witness against the wooer, and he was sent to prison for seven years. But they have become reconciled, and a few days ago the prison chaplain joined them in wedlock. The well known German newspaper, Algemeine Zritung, of Augsburg, was originally started at Tubingen, in the year 1798, by the great publisher Corta, and two of its earliest contributors were Goethe and Schiller. Among the foreign correspondents have figured some of the most gifted and eminent Germans of our age Heinrich Heine, for instance, was for several years Its representative m Paris. Thcrlow Weed, in a receut letter on civil service reform, complains that the “academies and colleges contribute a very large contingent to the army of of fice seekers.” Mr. Weed expresses the belief that there is too much “liberal education” in this country, which pro duces idleness and office beggars men who resort to office seeking ns a means nf living, and who get to bating hard work. Devoted to the Interest ol Jackson and Butts County. JACKSON, GEORGIA. WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 20, 1882. The mother-in-law of the late. Nathan iel Adams, her daughter, her daughter's daughter, her daughter’s daughter’s daughter, and her daughter’s daughter’s daughter’s daughter nre all living at his late residence in the Itqxbnry district of Boston, Massachusetts. Thus there are five generations of women in continuous lino living under the same roof, they being Mrs. Hondloy, Mrs. Adams, Mrs. Wolcott, Mrs. Colby, and little Miss Colby. Mrs. Hendley is ninety-live yenrs of age, and the infant a few weeks only. This is the way that Miss Elizabeth Stuart Plielps characterizes the State of Maine in her novel, “Doctor Zay,” in the Atlantic: “Wo allers do liov every thing wus here than other folks," said a passenger on the Bangor mail coach. ‘‘Freeze and prohibition, mud and fu sion. We have got one of the constitu tions that takes things,likemv boy. He’s had the measles, ’n the ehickenpox, and the mumps, and the nettle rash, and fell in love with bis schoolmarm, ’n got re ligion, and lost the prize for elocootiu’— all in one darned year.” Tuts story of strange practice is told of a Kansas lawyer: The law requires that a person must bo twenty-one years old before he can pre-empt land. When ono comes to ask if lie can evade this '■ !• . w T/VIJ Hj llliu luuU MCMJXW years of being twenty-one, “prove up” some land, the attorney smiles serenely and says: “Of course; certainly; it is the easiest thing in the world!” And when the time comes to mako out the papers the attorney marks with a piece of chalk on the floor, “twenty-one years old. ” He places the affiant on the floor standing on these words, and lias him swear that ho is “over twenty-one years old.” Watch Newly-Planted Trees. The present season lias been all that could bo desired for trees and plants set last spring. It has been cool and wet, excellent for the development of foliage. The moist weather giving abundant foliage has developed plenty of root, but this root like that of any plants in saturated soil is superficial. It tlie season had been less wet, I lie root growth would have been less, but it would have been deeper. The ten days without rain in Ibis vicinity during tho last of July', caused greater distress to corn and garden crops than would have been the case from three weeks of drought in an ordinarily dry season. Trees planted last spring and not watered showed unmistakable signs of sullering. Those who understood their business prevented this, bv giving the soil a good soaking once a week. The difficulty with those planters who have not studied the nature of the plants they enltivat e is that they seldom give water enough. They water often enough, sometimes too often, but super ficially. It is dissipated by the first Bim, and scarcely reaches the roots at all. Lot us illustrate in this way: The water in a pond that is one foot deep has the same number of superficial feet for evaporation, ns the poml four or more feet deep. So it is with super ficial watering. The inch or two of surface moistened is soon dried out. the roots having received almost no good from the watering. In the case of continual superficial waterings the disability to the tree is Intensified, tlie roots extend nearer and nearer the surface rather than down ward. The autumn finds the lice with all its roots near I lie surface, and the next season, if a dry one, often kills it outright. In fact the second season is considered to bo the most critical in the life of a recently planted tree if it bo deficient in rain. Hence the planter of ornamental trees and shrubs will see the necessity of careful watohingof planted trees, especially such as have not made fair leaf growth, lor according to the amount of leaf growth so will be the root, for it is well known lhal them is no root growth until the leaves expand; and, hence, again, the reason why an evergreen may lie planted at any season, and for the reason that the leaves arc always more or less active. In fact deciduous trees may be most successfully planted when in leaf if only tho leavos he kept from willing. So also it is well known that a tree with plenty of top will make roots faster than a tree cut nearly or quite to a bare pole. Science then, in tree planting, is to see first, that they never suffer for want of mo sture at the roots; and sec ond, that the roots be induced to strike deep as quickly as possible.— l'ruirie Farmer. Vanity op Hkhiwaymen.— -A Ualves vestou lady was reading a jewspaper ac count of a stage robbery that recently took place west of San Antonio and was very indignant on reading that besides robbing the passengers they hod opened the mail and read the letters, among them, poeeibly, a letter the lady herself had written to a friend. “You needn’t be alarmed.” remarked the lady’s hus band, “I (lure say they did not ro*d a word in any of those letters, as those fel lows don’t know 13. from bull’s foot.” “Why, then, did they make out that they read them ?” “Oh, they made out they could read so as to make a favorable impression on the passengers. "—Gal veston New*. There has been discovered in tho sandstone rock at the Nevada State Prison what is considered a great “find.” It is the marks of the sandaled foot of a human being, and the marks o! the track of a mammoth in the same piece of sandstone, or upon the same level, showing that man and mammoth lived not only in the same age, but in the same year, and, perhaps, in the same day. These marks were found in ihe sandstone quarry at a depth of fif teen feet, on which is supposed to have been, at the time the marks were made, the border of a lake, where the man went fishing and the mammoth to drink. A Very lUeli Newsboy. “ Boston, New York, Philadelphia, Chicago, Cincinnati, St. 1/mis, San Francisco and Kansas City morning pa pers!” This cry has been heard on thosUoets of Denver for years. It is uttered by a square-built, smooth-faced, matter of fact looking man, whose voice has struck a certain pitch which has increased in force with long practice. Ills name is Mykins, and hois without a doubt the riche.t newsboy In the United States. Mykins lias discovered no gold mines; he is no bonanza king. He has made his money by selling pa yors at ten cents apiece and blacking coots at ten cents per shine. lie in vested his money in property in Denver and loaned it out on good security, and iie is worth to-day from $ 10,01)0 to SSO, - 000. A queor fellow is Mykins. Night and day he hawks his papers on the street. He knows just where a paper can ho sold, lie is at the depots at the right hours; ho knows just when to go to the hotels, and lie can spot a stranger on the street, and sell him a paper, while ono is wondering what place lie came from. “Boston, New York, Philadelphia, Chicago, Cincinnati, St. Louis, San Francisco and Kansas City morning papers!” There the erv is heard where many people arc gathered together, and there many dimes are rakuil in. One day Mykins passed. “Dp you see that newsboy said a gentleman to the man of news. “lie is worth $50,- 000.” “ Mow does he make itP” “lie came Hero .few years ago and commenced selling hasten. . u „[ blacking hoots. He averaged utio per day at the former business and no in considerable amount from the latter, lie invested his money and now owns several fine residences on Lawrence and Fourteenth streets, two or throe of those Grant houses on Walter street, some One property on California street, and besides has any amount of money loaned out at interest. Ho is a rustler, and will still black your boots for a dime—at least he would a few months ago.” The speaker led the way to the news boy’s stand. An old coal box near the corner of sixteenth and Larimer streets, with a boot blacking chair and appa ratus at one end of it, making the place of business of a man who was worth enough to make him comfortable for a lifetime. “Why don’t yxiu interview Mykins?” But this was easier said than done. Mykins is evidently a man of sterling business principles. One dime realized from the sale of one paper is evidently more to him than an hour’s conversa tion with the most interesting gentleman in the world. He did not desire to toll anything about liis business. Yes, he sold a good many, papers. Sometimes he hail a hoy to help him. He had been hero several years—yes. Most of these papers are shipped through to Mykins direct. They cost him from two to four cents. He sells them for ion cents a number, lie prefers to peddle them on the street, ami doubtless has found that t he most profitable man ner of conducting his business. He knows the value of liis trade, and that small businesses are often more profita ble than large ones. By careful atten tion he has worked up a lino of custom ers to whom ho deliiers papers at fifty cents per week. Mykins is unmarried. He looks like the hard-headed business matt that lio is. liis face is bronzed by exposure to the sun aud rain. His features arc sharp. Ilis voieo is as bars! I pierc ing as years of continued exertion in one strain can make it. “Some day,” continued the lirst speaker, who started the train of thought about Mykins, “I should think he would want to retire from the boot blacking and news business and live on his riches.” I’erhaps he may. —Denver Tribune. A Change of Miml. “There is a certain man in this town whom I’m going to lick until he won’t be out of bed for six months after, and I want to know wind it will cost me?” So said a man win entered a Gris wold street law office yesterday, and it was plain to he seen that his dander was way up. “Let’s sco?” musijdthe lawyer. “I’ll defend you for $lO. Jf you lick him in a first-class manner your line will be about 325. Then there will he a few dollars''costs, say enough to make the whole thing foot up♦■lo. f think that ] can safely promise tlmt it won’t cost you over that.” “ Forty dollars! Forty dollars for lickingnman! Why, I can’t go that!” “Well, pul! his nose, then. The last case I had of that sort the line was only sls. That will reduce the gross sum to thirty.” “I want to tear Urn all to pieces, hut I can’t afford to pay like that for the fun. How much vould it cost to spit on bim?” “ Well, that’s at assault, you know, but the fine mightnot he over ten dol lars. I guess .f-’5 would see you through.” “ Lands! how Ido want to crush that man! Suppose I tnoek his hat off?” “Well, about SK) would cover that.” “lean hardly hold myself, but, >2O is pretty 'steep. Can’t I call him a liar.” “Oh, yes. I think sls would cover that.” “Well, I’ll see about it. I’m either going to call him uliaror else tell every body that ho is n< gentleman, or else give him an awfu pounding. I’ll see you again.” “My fee is ss,’ observed the law yer. “What for?” “For my advice ’ The pulverizer pared at him for half a minute, and thei laid down a “V.” and started slow!' out with the remark: “Fm going stkight to Owl man and beg fiis pardon, *nfi tell him that I’m the biggest foil in Detroit! Ilian k heaven that youdifin t get but one claw on mel”— iJelrot Free Press. DALLAM] Or A COQUETTE. Flic wears a mosl hewitohhi-f him I U'oUl curly tnmlc euptivo in ;t not; Her dresses with precision briny;; Her lmt oliMejves f hAcityilftli set; Slid lu ; :i p.MMlletor a pet, vint-drives a dashlnj dni'jc and pony: I know it, tlionyh wove liovojf in t I’ve seen her picture hy Sartmy. Her phrases are all fraught with slang, The vory latest she can get; She sings the songs that Patience Hang, Can vrhistle airs from “Olivette,” And, in the wait/., perhaps might let Von squeeze her bund,with gems nil stony: I know it, though we’ve never mot— I’ve seen her picture by Saronv. ller heart lias never felt love’s pang, Nor known a momentary fret ; Want never wounds her with his fang; She likes to run Papa in debt; She’ll smoke a slender cigarette s'lib rom with a favored crony: I know if, though we’ve never met I’ve seen her picture hy Siaiouv. ENVOY. Princes, beware this gav coquette ! She ii• •Yi no thoughts of mutrijnouy: 1 know it, tliourh we’ve *iovor mot— J’ve seen her picture hy Sarony. Frank I>. Sherman, in OBtUnri/ May mine . The Now Methods of Fanning. . The time when the manuring of tlio land and Ihu feeding of live-stock had to he done without any guide but ex perience is coming to an end, and very fortunately,so, since the old farming is becoming unprofitable on all worn soils. The seienco of fertilization and the sci ence of feeding had their birth just as tile old lime farming was declared not to “pay.” As nature’s bounty seemed to be exhausted, and the earth to refuse her increase all along the eastern edge of our continent as well as in Europe, the investigations of science revealed the fact that xv...... <,tin,,- manures li. -nies those of tlin farm-yard. It re vealed also t he fact that by a proper ad mixture of the old and flic use of some new food materials, domestic animals might be reared far more economically and satisfactorily than before. And this latter work has been also very greatly helped by the application of science to the breeding of these animals, by which breeds are now produced which are especially adapted to each distinct purpose for which such animals arc desired. Scientific study applied to farming, though yet in its infancy, lias done noble work in solving its most difficult problems and has much more Ilian ac complished the proverbial feat of mak ing two spears of grass or grain grow wnoro one grew before. The immense and constantly growing use of com mercial fertilizers all over the civilized world attests what science lias done in that direction, which is yet but a drop ill the bucket to what we shall see 'Hie wonderful improvement in every species ol live stock is, to the c\es of every middle-aged farmer, a constant, subject of surprise. The fat oxen, the strong or fast horses, the deep-wooled sheep, the round and bulky swine, the milk yielding cows with liicir great records of butter mid cheese, are as much a cause of wonder and a mark of the prog ress of this new age as are the median - ical discoveries, tho steam engine, tlio iron steamship, the railway, the elec tric telegraph, electric light and electric motors, the mowing machine and tlio scwing-nuieliiiie, and all the other won ders of the time. but as tin; old-time stage-driver can not, without, much instruction, become a, locomotive engineer, nor the old-tiino postmaster become t he skilled t ulegi aph er without, training, so ueit.ier can tlie work of the farm now be successful ly conducted without tho possession of more knowledge than was attainable by our fathers, harming is rapidly becom ing a skilled profession, success in which will require a liberal training, equivalent to, though not tho same ns, that, which has heretofore been given in what are called the learned professions. As much and as varied knowledge is now about to lie applied to tho produc tion of farm crops and their profitable use and disposal, as ever went to mako the best lawyer, minister or doctor of medicine. It is hard to realize, at first, what all this really means. It is no wonder that so many old farmers have thrown scorn upon "hook-farming.” The history of the world from the time of Adam re veals the til lor of the soil as always an unlearned man. “The times of this ignorance” God provided for by stor ing up in the primeval soil a fund of fertility which should la*t until mae kind grew out of its infancy But now tho time has come for all men to open their ears and learn, by the study of God’s works and ways in nature, to provide for their own wants. This then is what we must do: we must study nature, and in doing this the farmer becomes an edueateih and may become a learned man as learned as .Solomon, who was said to have known all the plants in his day and more learned, for we must not only know [of plants and animals, hut we must learn the laws of their life and growth; and not only that, we must nave skill to apply those laws practical ly, and make both plants and animals grow according to our will, so as to gi\e us sustenance and wealth. In short, the day is now at hand in which the farmer is to he raised through knowledge, not from labor, but from unintelligent drudgery to intelligent pro duction, and a master-hip over nature in the place of his old slavery to nature. Understanding nature’s forces, we are to direct them, instead of being directed by them. With more than the subtlety of Jacob, we are to mold the cattle to our will and profit. With more than the wisdom of Solomon, we feed and nourish as well as study the plants of the field. Are the middle-aged and older farmers of the rime rousing themscl.es to tlieso great facts, and taking them in in their full significance? if so. they will be found aiding anil favoring every means to lit the growing genera! ion lpr their new and wonderful inheritance.—A. Y. Eiaminer. At tho present rate of consumption it is estimated that the supply of white pine timber in the United 'states will bo exhausted in twelve vears. A Chicago physician perhaps an alarmist—claims that the winter cholera in that city is a forerunner of a cooler. scourge next summer. Good Morning, I‘rofcssor. In tills favored land Hie I’rofessor is running the Colonel a pretty close raeo, and the Colonel may just as well undcr- Mtuid that, he has to hump himself or • lie'll get shut out a 1 the distance pole. .1 list alter the close of the war the. Col onel took such a start llpit :ho most sanguine friends of the l'role-'sor a(Jn(liit-' leil that he never Opuld catch lip. But the I’rofessor is one of I lie immortal few llial were hot Inn n to die, lilid while ino Republic lasts lie wiki be on deck. Seed time and harvest may fail.summer may cease aud the winter may not endure, morning ami even time may pass away, but Iho Pro oysur will be here. This is the country lorhim, and while it is Ilb 11- ni'ely set lied by the last census Mint the ('olonel is dying out, and lliat there is now but ono Colonel to every ll .rty seven of population, the Frofessor is on the increase aud holds all that he gains The title is mo-t honorable, and at one time it represented only tin: broad e>t. scholarship. the pro'.oimdest. learn ing. It represented long years of bard, patient study of men mid books and tilings It meant thought. H mount brains. It, meant wis loin. II meant standing i’ll 1 lie world of intellect. It was a title, bard to win and sparingly bestowed. Now —— Anew barber c hit’s to town and opens * lunsorial parlors” one room and two, I’bap* lie is J’rqf. Ferapqr. A man goes ayopnii the country trading hors's and selling it eirf “ for ring-bone l’rof. Snaffle, the emiyujit veterinary surgeon; because where a physician w ho ministers, to human Miller ng, with all "y learning and skill the colleges can goo mm, R , .....I ~||, |,| i, O called doctor, the traveling; boss doc tor" is always and everywhere ‘‘l’ro fessor.’’ A limn hires a ball and teach es people to dance l’rof. Lightfont lie may not be able to make o it Ins owii bills, and spells selioltislie with seven letters, but lie is I’m essor. A circus employe goes up in a balloon —I’rof. Gasbag, the daring aeronaut. A retired prize lighter opens a gymnasium and boxing .school I rot. Bruiser, instructor of physical science and muscular devel opment. A man takes his rillo and makes thirty nine bull’s eyes in the tar get out of a possible forty at eight, hun dred yards I’rof. Globesitifi all over the country, fast as the mail and telegraph can confer lii.s degree. A 'Texas cow hoy comes north ami breaks horses fora living I’rof. Toeealk. A man swims further than any other man Professor, A mill) cuts corns and cures bunions for a living--Professor; lie waltzes throe hours without resting l’ro essor; plays the Hddle and imparts to others the se crets of tile diabolical art, -Professor; walks a slack rope stretched across the street Professor; -goes without eating twenty and ivs Professor; rides four horses bareback Professor; sings in the choir Trofossor; teaches a brass band Professor; cures waits Professor; plays billiards for a living - Professor; trains dogs Professor; perforins some clover tricks of sleight of hand—l’rofes sor; does anything in the world except teach, and knows less of books and schools than lie does ot Heaven Pro fessor. The Colonel differs widely from tho Professor in that no reason is ever as signed tor liis lining. A man is simply called “Colonel,” either license lie was a Lieulenitut in llieafny or never was in the army, it, is immaterial, lie is just (kdond, that’s all. But the Pro fessor claims Ills title by reason of liis “ profession,’" 1 who her it Ins the cob. bling of shoes or Ira niug of dogs. Amt as occupations increase in va iely so the Professor increases in number. There is nonor in the honorable old title still, to tlie M'.liolars who have earned it. well an 1 wear it with dignity. And il.ii a shame Hint I tie title which belongsoxclushely to their world should have its tilery worn in the circus, the rat pit and the s’ab'oi. bet, us boycott the bogus Professor as au act of simple justice, to tlie Professor whom we all es teem. —Jlurliu'jUin JJaivhvi/e. I'lic Modern Caucus. An aged citizen who was one of tho early settlers, was seen coming out on to the. sidewalk in front of a place where a caucus was being held, a few nights be fore election, on his ear. He seemed to lie propelled by some unseen power, and us lie got up and picked up his bat out of the glitter, brushed the mud of! bis sleeve and wiped tho blood off his nose, a friend went up to him and asked what was tho matter. The old man said, “ Well, I huiu’t attended a caucus in thirty year, but my nephew wauU.il mo U. (;.. to-night, and when I proposed that the lnoetiug be ..[.oiien with prayer, f think the stove fell over on me. A fellow said, ‘O, give us a rest.,’ and I don’t know how I got out here, but 1 did. Why, in ’49 they used to open political meetings with prayer, and close ’em the same way. This cau cus opened with a knock down ami I s’poso it will close with a riot. Hello, there is another man riding down stairs without any saddle, and I s’pose he pro posed some old-fashioned custom. Hay do you think my eye will be black ? I told the old lady I wa* goin* to ineetm* and I wouldn’t like to have her think I had lost my temper and struck the sex ton. Well, that’s the last polities for me.” The old man, however, got a policeman to go with him while he voted on election day. —Milwaukee Sun. —A young lady visiting at the resi dence of Charles Kctchum, Westport, Conn., went into the kitchen tho other day to procure some sugar. It so hap pened that she found a great many ants in the sugar-box, and she had consider able to sy about the “horrid black things” as she called them, and hoped tho house would soon be rid of them. A colored coachman who sat at a table evidently thought that her remarks were intended for him, for he went out to tho barn, where there was a pot of black paint, and, taking the brush back into the kitchen, drew it across the young lady’s forehead. Mr. Kctchum was sent for, and, as soon as he learned the particulars of the affair, he paid the coachman's wages to date, and gave him just five minutes in which to leave tho premises. —Button Pott. TERMS: $1,50 pr Annum. NUMBER 1. USEFUL AND SUGGESTIVE. —Tlie real old harvest apple of our grandfather’s days is to be found no more. —The farmer who leaves his plow to rot in the fields all winter is usually the one who finds most fault with the con dition of the country. — N. Y. Herald. —The Gardener'a Monthly says: “Let the laundry folk on every wash day pour the boiling-hot soap-suds about the roots of peach trees. This will de stroy the insidious little fungus which produces the ‘yellows ’ and other dis eases, and finish tho larvie of insects which are injurious to the trees." j- Red ants are said to like lard bet ter even than sugar; for this reason, U tlie red ants are troublesome in kitchen or store-room, sot a plate well grea-od with lard in tho room. It will soon be covered wit h them, and yon can dispose of I hem; put the plato back, and keep on doing so until they are exterminated. -TV. Y. Dost. —Marble Cako: (Light.) One cup sugar, half a cup each of butter and milk, whites of three eggs, two cups flour, one and a half teaspoonful of bait ing powder. (Dark.) Half a cup each of brown sugar and molasses, ope fourth cup each of butter and milk, two cups of flour, the yelks of three oggs, one and a half teaspoonful of baking pow der, ono teaspponlul each of oinnamou, cloves and allspieo. —A correspondent of tho Queensland er supplies that paper with, the follow ing on tho subject of potato-growing: “I tried an experiment with potatoes this autumn, as seed was scarce. I took cuttings of potato top“ ■M'd*** 1 ' '' ~, .<>liner, and they took root and boro a better crop than tho original root. Some of the seod potatoes were growing strong before I set them, so I slippod off' the superfluous shoots and planted them, with very good results; and any one with a small supply of good seed may largely Increaso it by this simple method.” —Ono objection to a largo rarm, of sufficient capacity to meet the wants of a great fanner, is that it concentrates ai! the crops and all the manure at one point. In harvest time short hauling of nay and grain saves valuable time, and, when manure is to he drawn, short dis tances to the tields from tho heaps or sheds very much lessens cost. It is better to divide on large farms and have two or more separate points of concen tration in distribution, and thereby save great cost to team work. And, too, it Is very wise to divide the farm buildings as to not have them all burn at one lire. These are iroueral considerations.—AT. Y. Tribune. Caught by Themselves. There is a slang phrase now current wbieli aptly expresses tho fatality at tending tho testimony of criminals in court. They are almost sure to “give themselves away,” that is, to really convict thorns fives while they are try ing to prove their innoeonce. In a court in Paris recently, two cobblers were charged with stealing fifteen francs from their master's till. The men bad asked for some money from their em ployer, hut lie had refused and had gono off for tho day with his family. So they stole the fifteen francs and themselves start od off for a holiday. “ Where d<l you spend your holi day?' 1 asked the Police Justice. ••Wo took no holiday. We worked as usual,” said tho first- cobbler. “Come, tiiat won' t do. Tho facts are all against you, although, to be sure, no one saw you take the money from tho bag,” said tho Police Justice. “It wasn’t a hag; it was a pine box. Ah!” (to the other cobbler) “what are you trampling on my feet for?” said the second cobbler. “llow do you know it was a pine box?” asked the Justice. “ Why, I’ve seen the master take mon ey from it more than two hundred times,” answered the second cobbler. “1 only brought it home the night bo lore. 1 had always used an iron box. So ho couldn’t have seen this two hun dred times,” said the master. “ Well, when I said two hundred, perhaps i stretched it a little. I saw it at least once that day,” said the second cobbler. “Whatday?” asked the Justice. “ Why, tho day that we took tho fif teen—Oh, stop trampling on my feet!” said the second cobbler. “So you acknowledge taking the fif teen francs?” said the Justice. “He means the fifteen pairs of slip pers wo made that day,” said the first cobbler. *’ fi"-* you worked all day?” said the Justice. “ Yes, except that towards evening wo were tiled and went out to Mont martre and took supper,” said the first cobbler. “ But you told your master you had no money. How did you go without money?” asked tho Justice. “ We borrowed three francs,” said the first cobbler. “Yes, and when wo were arrested, they found no money in our pockets. If we had taken the fifteen francs, there would have been some loft, for we only spent seven francs,” said the sec- ‘ ond cobbler. "If you only borrowed threo, how did you spend seven?” asked the Jus tice. “ We got credit,” answered the first cobbler. “ Yes, we got credit for nine francs,” said the second cobbler. “I think you’ve satisfied us of your guilt That will do. You shall have a sentenoeof four months,” concluded the Justice.— Youth’s Companion —The largest theater is the now opera house in Paris. It covers nearly threo acres of ground. Its cubic mass is t,- 287,000 feet. It cod about 100,000.000 francs. —Since Ohio River steamboats have taken to breaking in two in the middle there is really no safe spot on board, unless one can tell whioh end will drift •shore.