Newspaper Page Text
W. F. SMITH, Publisher.
VOLUME X.
A SONG FOR WOMEN.
'Within a dreary, narrow room,
l°olts upon a noisome street,
Jlalf-raintinjj with the stifling heat,
A starving’ Kiri works out her doom.
ok* ! •V, t i tb /< K“ ss ) n God ’s sweet air
J he little birds sing free of care,
And hawthorns blossom everywhere.
Nwift, ceaseless toil scarce winneth bread;
I-vom early dawn till twilight falls.
'"but in ly four dull, ugly walls,
I( Ami!.ii C t 1 ho W ! r ™ n ‘* with murderous tread.
And all the while, in some still place,
' V il > t '' rt wininff boughs embrace,
Ibe blackbirds build; time Hies apace.
With envy of the folk who die,
Wj° Way at lust their leisure take,
“°. se longed-for sle p none routrhlv wake.
Tired hands the restless needle ply.
i*u Mr bnd wide in meadows green
the, golden buttercups are seen,
An<l reddening sorrel nods between!
Too jaire and \ roud to soil her soul.
Or stoop to basely jrotton gain.
My days of changeless want and pain
A ™£' a a ns earns a prisoner’s dole.
J. 1,1 "i the peaceful lields the sheep
rco 1. quiet; and through heaven’s blue
deep
The silent cloud-wings stainless sweep.
A ud if she bo alive or dead
I hat weary woman scarcely knows
Mut back an I forth her needle go:*8.
In Mine with throbbing heart and head,
where the leaning alders part
Wh.te-bosoined swallows, blithe of heart.
Above still waters skim and dart.
f) God in Heaven! shall I, who sharo
That dyin.r woman’s womanhood,
Taste all Ih ■ summer’s bounteous good
" y
. The lengthening shadows o’i'r'tnpmVm,
J he meadow pool is smooth as glass.
A. Malhcson. ;n Macmi lan’s MciuazAie.
UKICiIS OF POPULAR PHRASES.
Bosh. —The derivation of this word,
which is applied to anything nonsensical
or trashy, is variously accounted for.
It is traced by some to Hie Dutch bosch,
corrupted from Bois-le-Due, tho name
ot a town in Holland, it is probably a
Turkish work, however, meaning empty,
vain, worthless, bogus, in short, and
was imported into England some twen
ty-live years ago by British soldiers who
had served in the Russian war, and had
picked it up from the Turkish soldiery
with whom they had been thrown in
contact.
Trodden the Wine- Tress. —This very
beautiful and commonly used quotation
is from Isaiah, ixiii, ,‘5: “1 have trodden
the wine-press alone.” An interesting
fact in connection with the line is, that
in Italy the same primitive process of
treading the wine-press’ that prevailed
in Egypt in patriarchal days is in oper
ation at the present day. The grapes
arc t hrown into an enormous vat, where
the juice is tramped out oi them by the
bare feet of the peasants.
11ariker. —Probably a corruption of
“hunger.” It is always used in con
ned ion with the word after, as “we
hanker after something.” The text in
Matthew v., <>: “ Blessed are they which
do hunger and thirst after righteous
ness,” show’s the alliuity, even if it does
not establish the identity of the two
words, “hunger” and “hanker.”
Run a Mua,. —This is an old phrase for
attacking madly and indiscriminately.
“Muck” is a Malay word. In the island of
Ceylon, coek-ligliting is carried on to a
great extent. The Sumatrans are ad
dicted to the use of dice, and gamine
is strongly characteristic of the Chinese
ami Siamese. This is notably true also
of the Malayan. After having resigned
everything to the good fortune of the
winner, the Malay gamester is reduced
to a horrid state of desperation. He
then loosens a certain lock of hair,
which indicates war and destruction to
all with whom he meets. He intoxi
cates himself with opium, and working
himself up into a tit of frenzy, he bites
and kills every one who comes in his
way. But as soon as this lock is seen
flowing, it is lawful to lire at the per
son, and to destroy him as soon as pos
sible. This is called “to run a muck,”
the phrase being first introduced in En
gland by sailors. Dryden writes:
“ Frontlets, aiul satire-proof, he scours the
st roots.
And runs an Indian muck at all he meets.”
And, too, Pope says:
“ Satire’s my weapon, but I’m too discreet.
To run a muck and tilt at all I meet.”
The Half is Better than the Whole. —
The author of this proverb was Hesiod,
an ancient poet whose learning was not
drawn from books. It was given in the
nature of an admonition to his brother,
to prefer a friendly accommodation to a
litigous law-suit, and has fixed a para
doxical saying often applied.
I'ril Communications Corrupt Good
Manners. —This line forms part of the
33d verse of the 15th chapter of Ist Cor
inthians. It was borrowed by St. Paul,
from Menander, the Creeian poet, and
is found in a fragment of one of his
comic productions for which he was
noted.
Nemesis. —“ Grecian mythology” tells
us that Nemesis was “ a female divin
ity who was regarded as the personifi
cation of the righteous anger of the
gods.” She is represented as inflexibly
severe to the proud and insolent. Ac
cording to Hesiod, she was the daugh
ter of Night, though she is sometimes
called a daughter of Erebus or of
Oer 'anus. The Greeks believed that
the gods Were enemies of excessive
human happiness, and that there was
a power that preserved a proper com
l'ensat on in human affairs from which
it .* as impossible for the sinner to es
cape. This power was embodied in
Nnnos's, and she was in an especial
manner the avenger of family crimes
' and the humbler of the overbearing.
1 here was a celebrated temple sacred
t<> her at R ham mis, one of the bor
-0 'gbs of Attica, about sixty stadia from
' tiraihon. The inhabitants of that
1 ace considered her the daughter of
O eanus. Accor*ling to a myth pre
s* ved by Pausanias, Nemesis was the
n other of Helen by Jup’ter, and Lo la,
t e repute i mother of fleleu, was only,
in fact, her nurse. Hut this mvth
s ‘ms to have been invented in later
iv* to represent the divine vengeance
waieh was inilicted on the Greeks and
fffffffffffffffffffff
Trojans through the instrumentality of
Helen.
Dork as Egypt's Night. —The origin
of th s phrase is found in the 10th chap
ter o: Exodus. the 21st, 22d and 23d
verses; “ And the Lord said unto Moses:
Stretch out thine hand toward heaven,
that there may be darkness over the
land of Egypt, even darkness that may
be felt. And Moses stretched forth his
hand toward heaven; and there was a
thick darkness in all the land of Egypt
for three days; they saw not one anoth
er, neither rose any one from his place
for three days; but all the children of
Israel had light in their dwellings.”
Lynch, Law. —This term, as common
ly in use in the United States, is a per
sonification of violent and illegal justice.
According to some authorities, the
lenn w r as derived from a Virginia farm
er named Lynch. But it can be traced
to a much earlier date in Ireland.
H lien, in My;!, James Fitzstephens
Lynch was Mayor and Warden of Gal
w ay, lie traded largely with Spain, and
i-ont ii is son thither to purchase a cargo
o! w ne. The young man squandered
the money intrusted to him, but suc
ceeded in running in debt for a cargo
to a Spaniard, by whose nephew ho was
accompanied in the return voyage to
Ire ami, where the money w r as to be
paid. Young Lynch, to conceal his de
lama nun, <.iiuauu me Spaniard to bo
thrown overboard, and was received
at homo with great honor. But a
sailor revealed to the Mayor of
Galway the crime which his son had
committed. The young man was tried
before his own father, convicted, and
sentenced to be banged. His family
and others determined to prevent the
execution. The father, finding that the
sentence could not be carried into effect
the usual way, conducted his son to a
window overlooking the public street,
w'ith his own hands fastened the halter
attached to his neck to a staple in the
wall and acted as his executioner. In
the council books of Galway there is
said to be a minute that James Lynch,
Mayor of Galway, hanged his son, out
of the window, for defrauding and kill
ing strangers, without martial or com
mon law, to show r a good example to
posterity.
Archimedes’ 1 Lever. —The famous
Greek philosopher Archimedes was the
author of the apothegm: “Give me a
lever long enough and a prop strong
enough and I will move the world.”
The saying arose from his knowledge
of the possible efleets of machinery; and
however much it might astonish a
Greek of his day, would now be readily
admitted to be as theoretically possible
as it is practically impossible; for, in
the words of Ur. Arnott: “Archimedes
would have required to move with the
velocity of a cannon ball for millions of
years to alter the position of the earth
by a small part of an inch. This feat
of Archimedes is, in mathematical
truth, performed by every man who
leaps from the ground, for he kicks the
world away from him whenever he
rises; and attracts it again when ho
falls.”
Steal My Thunder. —This saying or
iginated with John Denuis, an English
dramatist born in 1G57, and who died
in 1734. The incident connected with
its origin is found in Biographic*
Britannic*, vol. v., p. 103: “Our
author, for the advantage of this play
(Appius and Virginia), had invented a
new species of thunder, which was ap
proved of by the actors, and is tlio very
sort that at present is used in the
theater. The tragedy, however, was
coldly received notwithstanding smeh
assistance, and was acted but a short
time. Some nights after, Mr. Dennis
being in the pit, at the rep resent at i##
of Macbeth, heard his own thunder
made use of, upon which he rose in a
violent passion, and exclaimed, v/ith an
oath, that it was his thunder. “See,”
said he, “how the rascals use me! They
will not let my play run, and yet they
steal my thunder.”
The Die is Cast. —When C*sar, after
anxious deliberation, decided on the
passage of the Rubicon, rousing himself
with a start of courage, he committed
himself to fortune, with the above pro
verbial expression on his lips, used by
gamesters m desperate play. Having
passed the Rubicon, he exclaimed;
“The die is cast.”
A Bird in the Hand Is Worth Two in
the Bush. —This saying originated from
the following circumstance: Will Somers,
the celebrated jester to Henry YIIL,
happened to call at Lord Surrey’s,
whom he had often, by a well-timed,
jest, saved from the displeasure of his
royal master, and who consequently
was always glad to see him, was on
this occasion ushered into the aviary,
where he found his lord amusing him
self with his birds. Somers happened
to admire the plumage of a kingfisher.
“By my lady,” said Surrey, “my
prince of wits, Twill give it you.”
Will skipped about with delight, and
swore by the great Harry he was a most
noble gentleman. Away went Will
with his kingfisher, telling all his ac
quaintances whom he met that his
friend Surrey had just presented him
with it.
Now, it so happened that Lord North
ampton, who had seen this bird the
dav previous, arrived at Lord Surrey’s
just as Will Somers had left, with
the intention of asking it of Surrey for
a present to a lady friend. Great was
his chagrin on finding the bird gone.
Surrey, however, consoled him with say
ing that he knew Somers would restore
it him if he (Surrey) promised him two
another day.
Away went a messenger to the prince
of wits* whi m he found in raptures with
his bird, and to whom he delivered his
Lord’s message. Great was Will’s sur
prise, but he was not to be bamboozled
by even the Monarch himself.
to Industrial Inter? st, the of Truth, the Establishment of Justice, aul the Preservation of a People’s Government.
INDIAN SPRINGS, GEORGIA.
“Sirrah,” said he, “tell your master
that I am obliged for his liberal offer of
two for one, but that I prefer one bird
in the hand to two in the bush.”
Hence originated this oft-repeated say
ing.— St. Louis Globe-Democrat.
A Flying Ship.
Almost every one has read of Ezekiel
Green and his Hying machine, and a
great many boys and men have been
quite ;iu e that they could manufacture
wings that would enable them to fly.
As long ago as the reign of James IV.
of Scotland an Italian who pretended to
be able to change common metals into
gold, and who' wasted a great deal of
the King’s money in this way, but all to
no purpose, “took in hand to fly with
wings” as far as France, and to be
there before the King’s ambassadors,
who traveled in the ordinary way. lie
had a pair of wings made of feathers,
and when these had been fastened upon
him he flew off the wall of Stirling
Castle, but only to fall heavily to the
ground and break his thigh-bone.
The Abbot of Tarryland (for so ho
had been created by the credulous King)
declared that the blame of this failure
should be laid upon the fact that there
were hen ftalkers in the wings, and
* l- - v iiiviiixcii to me
barn-yard than to the skies—a very in
genious w r ay of defending himself; but
it could not quiet the twinges in his
broken limb.
Another experiment, wh : ch was made
three hundred years later, was more
successful. It was tried on a convict
from the galleys, whose life was not
thought too valuable to risk, and when
ready for flight he must have been an
object capable of frightening all the
birds of the air. “lie was surrounded
with whirls of feathers, curiously inter
laced, and extending gradually at suita
ble distances in a horizontal direction
from his feet to his neck.” When first
launched from a height of seventy feet,
his feelings could not have neen envia
ble, and the great mass of spectators
watched him in almost breathless si
lence. But instead of falling, he went
down slowly, and landed on his feet,
with no inconvenience except a feeling
of sea-sickness.
Nothing seeni3 to have come of it, as
men are not flying through the air yet;
but the Flying Ship may possibly have
led to the balloon. This strange scheme
made quite a sensation in the year 1709,
and the first account of it was written in
Portugese. It was invented by a Bra
zilian priest, who wanted the King of
Portugal to adopt it.
In an ancient document purporting to
be an address made to this monarch we
read: “Father Bartholomew Laurent
says that he ha? found out an Invention,
by the Help of which one may more
speedily travel through the Air than any
other Way either by Sea or Land, so
that one may go 200 Miles in twenty
four Hours; send Orders and Conclu
sions of Councils to Generals, in a man
ner, as soon as they are determined in
private Cabinets; which will be so much
the more Ad vantageous to your Majesty,
as your Dominions lie far remote from
one another, and which for want of
Councils can not be maintained nor
augmented in Revenues and Extent.
“Merchants may have their Mer
chandize, and send’ Letters and Packets
more conveniently. Places besieged
may be Supply’d with Necesasries and
Succours. Moreover, we may transport
out of such Places what we please, and
the Enemy can not hinder it.”
This remarkable ship was made as
nearly in th eform of a bird as possible;
the tail (not quite true to nature) being
the stern, and the head the figure-head
of the vessel. At the bottom were two
queerly shaped wings “to keep the ship
upright;” at the top, the sails, which
rounded over like the body of the bird;
the light body of the ship was scalloped
at both ends, and in the cavity of each
was a pair of bellow's, to be blown when
there was no wind; and there were
globes of heaven and earth, two load
stones, and “a good number of large
amber beads fastened in an iron wire
net, which, by a secret operation, would
help to keep the ship aloft.”
The strange vehicle was supposed to
accommodate ten or eleven men “be
side the artist,” and this last personage,
“by the help of the celestial globe, a sea
map and compass, takes the height of
the sun, thereby to find out the spot of
land over which they are on the globe
of the earth.” It was a very funny af
fair, but quite ingenious, considering.
how little the laws of gravitation, and
many other things connected with the
art of Hying, were then understood; yet
no such object has been seen making its
way through the air, and a flying ship
would be very apt to find itself on the
ground or in the water. — Harper's
Young People.
“ Somebody has left on our desk a
poem addressed to Lillian. We shall
not publish it. Not that it isn’t pretty
good poetry. But we don’t know
Lillian. This poet makes her out as
delicious. If she isn’t, we don’t want
to spread broadcast a wrong impression
of her; and if she is, we’Udo the poetrv
writing about her ourself. s '— Boston
' Dost. _
—lt has been decided in England that
the telephone business of the country
shall not be exclusively managed by the
Post-office Department which now con
trols all the telegraph lines, and it will
be allowed to remain in the hands of
private individuals and corporations.
N. Y. Herald.
—The New York Star feels sorry for
• lowa “ because it is ; wuch a spiritless
•
Borrowing? Tools.
The needsof modern farming demand
a great variety of tools; indeed the
greatest difference between the turning
of to-day ami o. twenty years ago is to
be found in the great improvement in
all kinds of too s, and the great saving
of labor that their use accomplishes.
Many of these tools are expensive and
require considerable skill in their use
and care to keep them in good repair,
so that the small farmer who has only
occasional use for them, and can ill
afford to own them, is plated in the di
lemma of not being able to do without
theAi nor to buy them either; in Ids strait
he is fain to borrow.
Now, if he will but be careful to ob
serve two or three rules in borrowing,
he will have little trouble in any good
Christian neighborhood, in getting any
tools he needs at any time the owners
are not using them; but by neglect of
them he will become an annoyance to
the neighborhood, and unable to supply
his need- without buying.
First of all no tool should ever be bor
rowed without the knowledge and con
sent of the owner, nor without an un
derstanding as to when it is to be re
turned. Second, any borrowed tool
should be returned immediately when
n G n> longer wanted, or when the
owner requests, and in case of any dam
age the owner should be informed and
satisfaction given. Simple as these
ru rs are, and strange ns it may seem
that any one should neglect them, there
is probably no one soir ee of trouble
between neighbors so fruitful as care
lessness or wilful neglect of duty and
common decency in these matters. It
is extremely anroying, when in need of
a tool to be unable to find it, and espe
cially so when one does not know which
of two o ’ tli ee care’ess neighbors to
blame for the annoyance.
I know a man who makes great pro
fessions of teligious faith, and whose
sincerity I do not pretend to judge, who
has had in constant use, for a year at a
time, tools which belonged to a neigh
bor, and which said neighbor had to re
place, not knowing where they were
lost; but when he found out at last who
was at fault, it made a great deal of
hard feeling, which was a good deal
worse than the loss of the tools.
It is a good plan to brand all tools
with the owner's name, which will
serve to remind honest persons where
they belong and will often prevent their
being neglected. It is also a good plan
to keep a slate and pencil in the tool
house on which a memorandum should
be made when a tool is borrowed, and
erased when it is returned—this will
serve to remind the owner where to
look for missing tools. With such pre
cautions, and among decent neighbors,
the farmer w r ho owns good tools need
not fear to follow'the teaching “from
him that would borrow of thee, turn
thou not away.” There arc, however,
neighbors and neighbors, and any one
who wishes to keep his tools w here he
can find them when needed, will have
to discriminate between the careless,
unprincipled borrower, who never re
turns a borrowed tool till it is sent for,
and the careful, conscientious man who
always returns whatever he borrows,
promptly and in good order.
It is often difficult, where several
men are employed on the farm, to pre
vent their borrowing and lending tools
with out the knowledge of their employ
ers; this is one of the most fruit:ui
sources of troub’e, aid needs careful
attention. No hired man should bor
row or lend any tool without knowfl
edge of his employer—and of the owner
of the tool in question. —W. D. Phil-
Oylck, in New-England Farmer.
Ballooning.
We are now within a single year of
the centenary of the first balloon, which
was sent up on the slh of June, 1783,
by the brothers Montgolfier. Their bal
loon was intiated with heated air, but in
’he following August M. Charles em
ployed hydrogen gas for the same pur
pose. In September the Montgolfiers
attached a card to a fire-balloon, and
placed in it the first aerial travelers—a
sheep, a cock and duck. The cock’s
leg was broken by a kick from the
sheep, but otherwise the strangely-as
sorted trio sustained no injury. In Oc
tober the first human aeronaut, M.
Francois Filatre de Roder. who was
afterward k Hod in an atie upt to cross
from France to England, made his first
ascent in a “captive’’ fire balloon teth-
tred to the ground by ropes. In the
•/oliowing months, accompanied by the
Marquis d’ Arlande s, I 'e Lozier ascended
in a tree fire balloon; aud ten days later
MM. Charles and Robert ascended in a
free balloon infiated with hydrogen gas.
The first balloon was sent up from En
gland ai out the same time, and in Feb
ruary, 1781, the first which crossed the
channel, while in August of the same
year the first human ascent from British
ground was made by Mr. Tytler.
Thirty-seven years e'apsed before there
was any definite advance on the achieve
ments of the first two years of aero
nautics; but in 1821 Mr." Green showed
that hydrogen might be replaced by
ordinary coal gas, and that a balloon
might be infiated and dispatched wher
ever there was a gas manufactory capa
ble of supply ing the necessary quantity.
— Low'on Times.
—A Trinity County Californian wants
people to believe an affidavit which he
makes that he caught a full-grown
panther bv the tail and broke Irs back
with a sirme. He modestly refrains
from adding that it was a panther
which had devoured three men further
np the creek, but the strain upon the
self-control was awfuL
A Mugharibee Bedaween at Devotion.
The Arab race is commonly divided
into two sections. The “Ahl lladr,”or
“dwellers in towns,” and the “Ahl
Bedoo,” or “dwellers in the open.”
From the latter words is derived the
well-known name Bedouin or Bedaween.
The latter are the best known to Eu
ropean travelers, and have usually been
described with great exaggeration.
Among them all, widely dbpersed as
theyaie, community of origin and of
modes of life results in producing a cer
tain similarity. In person the Beda
ween are rather undersized, active, and
enduring, with well-formed features.
Like all pastoral tribes which lead a
rovkig life, frequent quarrels arise
among them. The loneliness of the
desert, and the aosenee of fixed law or
civil order, render it necessary that ev
ery man be always ready to assert his
rights and defend his person. Yet the
raids on travelers which have made tho
name of Bedaween almost synonymous
with brigand are comparatively rare,
and are regarded by them as a kind oi
customs dues levied on those who will
not pay for protection. In Asia most of
the Bedaween pay little attention to the
precepts of the Koran, and their religi
ous belief is confined merely to a pro
fession of faith in the unity of God. In
Africa the tribes which wander along
the northern border of the Soudan and
the Algerian Sahara are mixed with ot h
ers which are not of genuine Arab
blood, though they speak the Arab
tongue and call themselves Arabs. Like
the genuine Arabs, they dearly love
their horses, and on horseback they are
indefatigable. Barelegged and bare
footed, with their white burnous wrap
ped round them, its hood over their
head, the Bedaween as he walks in un
conscious dignity is a striking object.
In Africa they are more religious than
in their native land, and countless sects,
under the protection of countless saints,
extend their branches through the coun
try. Some of these fraternities, like
those of the Aissawi, practice still bar
baric rites; others adopt or retain the
ordinary forms of Mohammedan wor
ship. The postures of the Mohammedan
at prayer are striking and reverent.
His face to the east, he stands or kneels
on the ground, with his hands held up
as though the palms were a book from
which he is reading. At the name of
God he prostrates himself in such a
manner that seven parts of his body—
head, hands, feet and knees—touch the
earth together. These "genuflections
form a part of every act of prayer,
which always begins with the first words
of the Koran: “Praise be to God, the
Lord of all creatures, the most merci
ful, the Lord of the day of judgment!
Thee do we worship; Thy aid we im
plore. Guide us into the light way, the
way of those to whom Thou sho west
mercy, not of those with whom Thou
art angry,, and who go astray.”—Har
per's Bazar.
Broken Down Young Women.
It will be universally conceded that
too many of our women are not by any
means robust. They marry, and in a
few years they break down physically
under the cares of motherhood and
housekeeping. Young men are not slow
to observe this, and their knowledge of
the fact may be one of the predisposing
causes of that reluctance to marry which
is said to be a growing characteristic of
American men. But why is it that
numbers of our women fail in health so
early, and become, not fancied invalids
like the fine ladies of a generation gone
by, but really incapacitated for the per
fect performance of those duties which
are distinctively and properly their
own? The answer lies at hand. It is a
faulty system of education that is re
sponsible, if not for all, at least for very
many of the ills from which they suffer.
LeaYing aside altogether as not perti
nent to the subject under consideration
the much vexed question of the relative
capacity of the sexes, there remains the
fact that our girls are expected to ac
quire the same information at school
that is imparted to young men. But
they are heavily handicapped. They
are “finished,” and enter society at an
age when their brothers are just about
entering on a college course. In other
words they have from three to four
fewer years for study, and necessarily
are compelled to study much harder.
This involves prolonged indoor confine
ment at a critical period of their exist
ence, and an almost total neglect of cal
isthenics. The growing girl, just bud
ding into perfect womanhood, needs
light, air and exercise. What wonder,
if she does not get them, that she emerg
es from her college or her convent school
a weak, muscleiess creature, with a
mind stored at the expense of her body,
and a painful consciousness that if she
has learned much, one thing at least has
been more indelibly impressed upon her
than any other, and that thing the fact
that her back is too weak to hold her
body erect without the aid of corsets.
Boys a r e more fortunate. They are not
expected to acquire so much in so short a
time, and they have far more leisure
for exercise.
If it is necessary that women should
acquire all that men do, for charity’s
sake let them have an equal time in
which to do so. If, however, they are
to leave school at seventeen or eighteen,
a proper consideration for their future
and for the welfare of the generation of
which they will be the mothers should
prompt such a curtailment of their
studies as will leave them ample time
for indulgence in healihgiving exercise.
—Chicaao Herald.
We caught, cured and consumed
$90,00Q,U00 worth of fish in 1881.
SUBSCRIPTION—SI.SO.
NUMBER 2.
WIT AND WISDOM.
—Every man is occasionally what ho
ought to be perpetually.
—Fond wife: “How strange! Every
time Peter comes home from his lodge
he comes to bed with his hat on. But I
suppose it is some more of those Mason
ic doings.”
—An exchange says that our navy i*
still in its infancy, which would justify
the assertion that the vessels are seldom
seen out of their slips.— Yonkers States
man.
—When the man averred that he had
seen a trotting match they didn’t mind
it much, but when he said “ A lemon
neighed ” they threw him under a grip
ear.—Chicago Times.
—When a doctor who claims to cure
by laying on of hands reaches Missouri,
he either quits business or starts for the
woods with a crowd after him. There
are some swindles M ; ssouri can’t abide.
—Detroit Free Press.
—Cause and Effect; Eminent Provin
cial Tragedian—Come liithorr, sweet
one! Your mothorr tells me that you
shed teorrs during my soliloquy in exile
laM night. Sweet One: Yes, sir.. Moth
er kept on piuehiug me, ’cause I was so
sleepy!— Punch.
—When he was eating fast and furi
ously, piling in the food as farmers do
hay into the barn on the eve of a thun
der shower in June, the head waiter
stepped up and said: “ Beg pardon, sir,
but there’s no train out to-night.” “I
know it,” said the man with his month
ful, “and that’s why I’m hurrying to
catch a good night’s sleep!”— Hotel
Mail.
—An old story in anew form is go
ing the grand rounds, and tells about a
young man at table d’hote at one of the
rural hotels, where “ lady waiters” are
employed. He wanted a beverage with
liis roast, and summoned the maiden, to
whom he said: “Have you any porter?”
“Yes,” she said, “we have three or
four, but they'are all colored.” Where
ignorance is bliss it is the height of ab
surdity to be intelligent.
—A county rector called rather early
in the morning on one of his parish
ioners. One of the children saw him
coming, and ran into the house to tell
his mother. The little fellow soon re
turned to the front and resumed his
play. The clergyman inquired: “Is
your mother at home?” “No, sir,” re
plied the child; “ she is out at pres
ent.” “ Tell her when she returns that
I called,” said the clergymen. “I did
tell her,” replied the little boy. Chi
cago Tribune.
—The little fellow had just had the
dust and grime of the day’s play
washed off him, and dropped on his
knees at the bedside. “Oh, God, make
me a good boy to-night, amen.” “Is
that all?” asked his mother. “Don’t
you want to be a good boy to-morrow,
too? You can’t help being good when
you’re asleep, jam know.” “1 wish I
could,” was the response, with the
twinklingist twinkle in his eyes.
Wasn’t that a “clear boy?” —New Ha
ven Itcgister.
A Secret Enemy.
For nearly three years Cooper Brown
ing, a young farmer near Ellisburg, N.
J., has been the victim of a series of
outrages, the perpetrator of which he
has been unable to discover. It was on
the night of December 18, 1879, that the
work of persecution begun. A spacious
well-filled barn was fired some time
after midnight and burned to the
ground. Twenty-five valuable cows—
fifteen of them Alderneys and Guern
seys—perished in the flames. Not quite
a year afterward two Alderney cows
grazing in a field near the house were
observed by a farm-hand to be rolling
on the ground in great agony. Ten
minutes later both animals were dead.
Before Mr. Browning could recover
from his surprise at the sudden loss five
more cows had died. No less than ten
pounds of Paris green were found scat
tered broadcast over the pasture. In
October, 1881, seven more cows and
thirty-five hogs were poisoned to death
with arsenic. Sympathizing neighbors
did everything in their power to help
him, and he is prosperous again, and
awaiting the next attack, which, accord
ing to the periods intervening between
the others, will take place in Septem
ber. In order to take time by the fore
lock. however, and, if possible, frighten
his enemy before another outrage is
committed, Mr. Browning yesterday
made public the following promise of
reward:
C: VGA keward will be paid for thb
®*)U" arrest and conviction of the party
who poisoned my cattle October 13,1881. M. C.
BROWNING, Ellisburjr, Camden County, N. J.
—Philadelphia Press.
—A scandal so horrible that it is al
most impossible to believ e it comes from
Cape May. The repoit is that a Phila
delphia lady, who had every' appearance
of being cultured and relined, has out
raged every sensibility and cruelly 7 mor
tified those who had the misfortune to
be considered her friends by appearing
in one of the very dresses she wore last
year, and worse than all, the dress had
been turned. — N. Y. Graphic.
—A preparation made with one pound
of soap (soft or hard) with an ounce of
carbolic acid crystals dissolved in water
will destroy vermin, itch, scurf and
mange. The preparation as given
above should be diluted in warm water
before being applied to the animal, and
it will then not injure the hair.
—lf you heed the insults of an enemy
you are but his equal, and yet the way
to stop his insults is to pound him until
he whoops for mercy. —Detroit Free
BresL . .