Newspaper Page Text
W. F. SMITH, Publisher.
VOLUME X.
WILLIAM BROWN, OF OREGON.
Tbry called him Bill, the hired man.
But she, her name was Mary Jane
I bo squire s daughter; and to reign
The belle from Her-sho-be to Dan
Her little game. How lovers rash
Dot mittens at the spelling-school!
How many a mute, inglorious fool
” rote rhymes and sighed aud dyed—mustocJ*'
The hired man had loved her long.
Had loved her best and lirst and lasv;
Her very garments as she passed
lor him had symphony and song,
bo when one day with brow afrown
w* m u Hill,” he raised his head,
* , i® ORuwht hor eye and, faltering said:
a love you; and my namo is Brown.”
She fairly waltzed with rage; she wept;
xou would have thought the house on fire.
She told her sire, the portly squire,
and hen “melt her smelling salts and slept.
Boor William did what could bo done;
Ho swung a pistol on each hip,
He gathered up a great ox whip,
And drove toward the setting sun.
He crossed the great back bone of earth,
He saw the snowy mountains rolled
hike mighty billows; saw the gold
Of awrul sunsets; saw tho birth
Of sudden dawn upon the plain,
And every night would William Brown
Eat pork and be:ins, and then Jio down
And dream sweet dreams of gentle Jane.
Her lovers passed. Wolves hunt in packs,
they sought lor bigger game; somehow
I hey seemed to see above hor brow
The forky sign of turkey tracks. • • •
The toter-board of life goes up,
’Hie teter-board of lifo goes down,
_ The sweetest face must learn to frown.
*he biggest dog has boon a pup.
O, maidens! pluck not at the air;
The sweetest flowers 1 have found
Grow rather close unto the ground.
And highest places are most bare.
Why you had better win tho grace
Of one poor cussed Al'-ri-can,
Than win the eyes of every man
In love alone with his own face.
At last she nursed anew desire,
bhe sighed, she wept for William Brown.
She watehod the splendid sun go down
lake some great sailing ship on fire.
Then roso and checked her trunk right on;
And in Ihe cars she lunched and lunched.
And had her ticket punched end punched,
U util she came to Oregon.
bhe reached the limit, of the linos.
She wore blue specks upon her noso,
Woro rather short and manly clothes.
And so set out to reach the mines.
Her right hand held a Testament,
Her pooket hold a parasol,
And thus equipped right on she went,
Went waterproof and water-fall.
She met a miner gazing down,
Slow stirring something with a spoon;
“ O tell mo true and tell me soon,
What has become of William Brown?”
He looked askance beneath her specs,
Then stirred his cocktail round and round.
Then raisod his head and sighed profound.
And said: “He’s handed in hia eliccka.”
Then enre fed on her damaged cheek.
And she grew faint, did gallus Juno,
And smelt hor smelling silts in vain,
the wandered, weary, worn and weak.
At last upon a hill alone
She came, and there sh > sat hor down;
For on that hill there stood a stone,
And, 10l that stone read: 4 * William Brown.”
*'O, William Brown! O, William Br ■ wu!
And here you rest at last,” she said,
” With this lone stun • above your head.
And forty miles from any town!
I will plant cypress troos, I will,
And l will build a fence around,
And 1 will fertilize the ground
With tears onough to turn a mill.”
She wont nnd got a hired man,
She brought him forty miles from town,
And In tho tall grass squattod down
And bade him build as she should plan.
But savago cow-hoys with their bands
They saw, and hurriedly they ran
And told a bearded cattle man
Somebody budded on his lands.
He took his rifle from the rack,
He girt himself in battle pelt,
Ho stuck two pistols In his belt.
And, mounting on his horse’s back, *
He plunged ahead. But when they Shewod
A woman fair, about his eyes
He nulled his hat, and ho likewise
Lulled at his beard and chewed and chewed.
At last he gat him down and spake:
“ O, lady dear, what do you here?”
“ l build a tomb unto my dear,
1 plant sweet flowers for his sake.”
Tho bearded man threw his two hands
Above his head, then brought them dow
And cried: “Oh, lam William Brown,
And this the corner-stone of my lauds I”
Her specs fell off, her head fell back.
Just like some lifted tea-pot lid;
f*he screamed, this ancient mahlendid.
And fainting, spilt herself, in fact,
Right in the beard of William Brown;
Th m all the Indians were amazed,
They th light this gentle maiden crazed.
Ami circling round they squatted down.
But William was a gentle man;
lie bade two Indians call the prieat.
He bade two more prepare a feast,
Then led her, blushing, by tho hand.
Like some sweet maiden in sweet May.
He was so good, he was so true.
Ho did not know what else to do.
But led her round and round all day.
At last the priest, on spotted mare.
Who galioped forty miles o more.
He found them in the grasses sore.
And married them right then and theie.
Then all the cow-boys th y came down
An 1 feasted as the night a Ivaeed,
And all the diggers dr.tnk and danced.
And cried: “Big Injin, William Brownl”
—JoiiQiiin Mill r. in N. I’. Home JouriuL
A CHINESE CHILDREN’S BOOK.
Every nation appeal's to have a favor
ite virtue, which it endeavors to ini pres*
upon the minds of its children. Turn
over some French books for children,
and you will observe that the moral of
most of the stories is: Be gentle and po
lite; be considerate and agreeable;
seize every opportunity to be obliging.
The typo of English books of this
class is Robinson Crusoe, which incul
cates courage, fortitude and self
dependence, the virtues which conquer
the world.
What is the favorite virtue of the
United States? If I should judge from
the pieces 1 hear oftenest declaimed in
our schools, I should say it was love of
country, a preference which displayed
itself in a remarkable manner during the
late war.
In China, for twenty centuries past,
the great object of moral teaching has
been to inculcate reverenc® tor ances
tors, devotion to parents and kindness
to brothers and sisters. The popular
stories of China mostly turn upon fam
ily affection. If an orator should wish
to move a Chinese audience to tears, he
coull not do better than relate some
affecting instance of filial piety. _
The most popular book for Chinese
children is a collection of one h j n^ re
ami two stories,- each illustrated by a
picture, nearly all of which are narra-
ti\ es of extraordinary devotion to
parents or near relatives. So much
'aiued is this work by the amiable peo
pli* of China that many editions are
published by men of wealth for free
distribution, By applying: at the office
of publication any oue may have a copy
for nothing.
An English missionary, Mr. A. E.
Motile, a gentleman capable of doing
justice to the virtues of a heathen pece
pie, has translated a number of these
tales into our language, and thus en
abled us to know precisely what the
moial lesson is which parents and teach
ers in China most assiduously teach.
Mav.v of these fitories are obviously in
credible, but the moral of them all is
substantially thd same.
One story is this: There was a very
naughty boy named Han, whom his
mother used very often to whip with a
rattan, but without making him shed a
tear. But oue day, after being flogged,
he cried; whereupon his mother asked
him why he did so.
“Oh, mother,” he answered, “you
used to hurt me when you Hogged me,
but now I weep because you are not
strong enough to hurt me.”
The Chinese author who relates this
remarkable tale, adds, bv way of com
ment, that “it makes one weep even to
read it.”
Some of the stories are more like
truth. There was once a little boy who
bore a name which, being translated
into English, would be Laudable High
land. When he was six years o i age a
gentleman named Ze gave him two
oranges, which, instead of eating, he
put into his bosom, and bowed his
thanks. As he bowed, the oranges fell
out, and rattled along the ground. Ze
exclaimed:
“Here’s a pretty young visitor, to
hide his oranges ana carry them off
without eating them! What does tnis
mean?”
Then little Laudable knelt down and
said:
‘ 4 My mother Is particularly fond of
oranges, and I wish to keep them for
her. ”
Ze was surprised, and let him go home
without reproof.
Then there is a story of a man named
Lee, whose mother was always very
much frightened in a thunder storm.
At last, she died and was buried in a
wood; but, as often as a thunderstorm
threatened, Lee ran to his mother’s
tomb, and, kneeling down, cried out
with tears:
“Lee is near you—don’t be afraid,
mother.”
There is a curious story of a boy of
eight named Woo Mang. which means
Brave and Talkative. He was wonder
fully dutiful to his parents, who were
so poor that they could not afford mos-.
on to nettings for their bed. So Woo,
earl,’ in the evening, used to get into
his parents’ bed, and let the mosquitoes
bite him without disturbance for an
hour or two, and then, when they were
tilled with his blood, and could bite no
more, he would get out, and call to his
parents to go to bed and sleep in peace.
Another story calls tomindthat of the
Greek mother who told her son, as he
was going to battle, to return to her
with his shield or upon it. A father
and two sons, after noble conduct in
battle, fell bv the hand of the cnemv,
th e sons having followed their father
into the thick of the fight. When the
bodies were brought home, the bereaved
mother laid her hand gently upon them
and said:
Devoted to Industrial Inter* st. tiie Diffusion of Truth, the Establishment of Justice, aud the Preservation of a People’s Government
“The father was a loyal officer, and
the boys were dutiful sons. Come,
come, this is no time for lamentation.”
Another story is of a man whose
mother had lost her eyesight For
thirty years he took care of her, leading
her out on pleasant days into the
garden, where he would laugh and sing
so gayly that his mother forgot her sad
condition. When, at length, she died,
her son almost wasted away from sor
row, and on recovering his health be
stowed all his tenderness upon his
brothers and sisters, his nephew's and
nieces. He used to say to himself:
“ This is the only way in which I can
get some comfort, ‘in letting my love go
forth to those who are left.”
There is a similar story of a great of
ficer, named Yang, who in the spring
time used to carry his aged mother on
his back up and down the tlowery walks
of the garden, and, after placing her in
a shady seat, frisk and gambol about for
her amusement. The old lady live to
the age of one hundred and four.
There was another great officer whose
younger brother, named Perverse, was
terrible addicted to drink, and. one day,
in a drunken fit shot his brother’s only
ox. When the officer came home, his
wife met him, and said:
“ Perverse has shot your ox.
He was not at all disturbed by this in
telligence, and asked for no informa
tion? but simply said:
“Well, let the ox be cut up for food.
Having said this, he sat calml\ down
to read, when his wife again cried:
“ Perverse has shot the ox; surely
this is no light matter.”
“I am aw'are of it,” said her husband,
and kept on reading his book without
even changing color. Such was his un
willingness to be moved by a brother s
misconduct. , , ,
Brotherly love, in fact, is regarded by
the Chinese as only less important than
filial duty.
There is a story of a Mandarin,
named Soo, before whom some broth
ers brought a suit about the division of
a tract of laud. After much litigation,
continued at intervals for ten years, the
Mandarin at last called the‘ brothers
before him, and addressed them thus:
“It is difficult to get a brother; it is
easy enough to get land. Suppose you
fain your fields and lose your brother,
ow will you feel then?”
Upon this tbo Mandarin vert and
INDIAN SPRINGS, GEORGIA.
not one of the bystanders oould keep
back his tears. Instantly the brothers,
perceiving their error, bowed low to the
magistrate, asked his forgiveness, and,
after ten years of separation, took up
their abode together in the family home
stead.
The work is filled with such tales as
these. Family duty appears to be the
religion of the Chinese people. If we
may judge from the narratives of M.
Hue and other missionaries, both Prot
estant and Catholic, Chinese families
live together in peace and harmony.
Many of their popular sayings and
maxims express a very elevated kind
of moral feeling. Take these as speci
mens:
44 You may be uncivil to a great man;
but mind that you are respectful to a
small man.”
44 T0 go on a pilgrimage to offer in
cense in a distant temple is not so good
as showing kindness near home.”
“If you have money and use it in
charity, it won't be lost.”
“ Use men as you use wood. If one
inch is rotten, you must not reject the
whole piece.”
“If you have good children, you need
not toil to build them houses.”
“ Think of vour own faults when vou
are awake and of the faults of others
when you are asleep.”
“Better be an honest beggar than a
dishonest millionaire.”
“If a man has not committed any
deed that wounds his conscience, a
knock may come at dead of night and
he will not be startled.”
“However enraged, don’t go to law;
however poor, don’t steal.”
The people of China are like ourselves
in more than one particular, but they
resemble us most in not living up to
their own sense of what is right. In
this trait of character, if in no other, all
men are brothers. — James Parton , in N.
F. Lcdrjer,:
Leigh Smith’s Story of His Arctic Ex
periences.
A recent London dispatch says:
The steamer Hope, commanded by
Sir Allen Young, C. 8., which left here
in June last in search of the crew of
the Eira, has arrived at Peterhead with
the entire crew of that vessel. The
Hope picked them up in Matolshkin
Straits, Nova Zembla, the 3d of August,
the} r having lost their ship off Franz
Josef Land and journeyed in boats to
the straits, through the ice. Leigh
Smith, commander of the Eira expedi
tion, gives the following account of its
experience:
“On July 13, 1881, we steamed
through pack-ice, and ten days later
sighted Franz Josef Land. We pro
ceeded toward Cape Ludlow, which was
close to the pack to the northward.
August 2 we went up Nightingale Sound
and thence to Eira Harbor, and erected
a store-house. On the 16th we- started
east to look for the Jeannelte, but were
unable to pass Berent Hook. On Au
gust 21 the Eira got nipped between a
land-floe and pack-ice a mile east of
Cape Flora, and sank before we were
able to save many of the stores. We
built a hut on Cape Flora of turf and
stones, and covered it with sails. We
wintered there, and during the whole
time no signs of scurvy appeared.
Twenty-nine walrus and thirty-six bears
were killed and eaten. We left Cape
Flora June 21, 1882, in four boats, sailed
eighty miles without seing any ice, and
reached Nova Zembla August 2. When
the Eira was nipped the leak gained so
rapidly that in tw hours after it had
been discovered it was necessary to
abandon the ship. Hardly had the last
man left the vessel when the ice eased
and the Eira rapidly sank. A tent was
first erected on the ice, and the house
was subsequently built.”
All the boats ef the Eira were saved.
Most of the me* saved some clothes and
bedding. For sixteen nights the crew
slept in a tent, from which they were
at times almost floated out by rain.
Do Your Own Repairing.
We think that almost every farmer
will agree with us that every farm
shouhT have its own workshop, and ev
ery cultivator of the laud should under
stand how to use it. He may not do so
when he first enters upon farming on
coming of age; but after a tear or two
of w'hat we should call apprenticeship,
when he finds that to “know how to do
things” is absolutely indispensable, he
will rapidly learn to attend to most of
his own repairing of Ahe ordinary im
plements and machines upon his prem
ises, instead of incurring delay, ex
pense and uncertainty by depending
upon professionals at a distance. Rath
er than to be without a workshop and
the necessary tools, one should be
erected expressly for the purpose, in a
convenient spot, and daily warmed in
winter so as to be ready at all times for
use, in which many odd jobs can be
done also not immediately connected
with the farm.
All ordinary wooden repairing ought
to be done by the farmer and his hands
during rainy days and in wrinter, when
there °is plenty of time on hand for that
purpose. Every part of a w’heelbarrow,
except the wheel, ought to be made on
the premises; new' forks and handles of
iron rakes, repairing even some portions
of the farm machinery, building of gar
den and yard fences, repairing roofs,
building of corn-cribs, hog-pens, wagon
and cart shelvings, making of the
frames of hot-beds, and ail the manv
jobs requiring to be done about a well
conducted place too numerous to men
tion. A person becomes very haudv in
the use ot good tools after a short ex
perieuce, and saves many a dollar with
out consuming any time necessary for
the usual demands of the farm.
Dog Fat.
The attention of a reporter of the
World was attracted yesterday afternoon
while at the dog-pound by two boys
who were carefully skinning and dress
ing a dog that had just been drowned
according to law for vagrancy.
“ What are you doing that for?” was
asked.
“ For consumption,” replied one of
the boys. “For a two-dollar bill,” said
the other.
It was finally explained that many
residents of the east side of the city
firmly believe that dog fat is an infallible
cure for consumption.
“ The boys told you the truth,” said
Dr. Ennever, the veterinary stationed at
the pound, who was next questioned.
“A great many people believe that dog
fat, and even the flesh of dog, is a sure
cure for consumption, and on an aver
age one dog a week is taken from here
and reduced to medicine.”
“Whocomes after them?”
“Generally women, either Germans
or Jews. They come up here, and, af
ter carefully examining all the dogs, se
lect one that seems to be healthy and
fat. They then point out their selection
to an attendant, who ties a string round
its neck or marks the animal in some
way so as to identify it. The woman is
told on what day that particular beast
will be drowned; she returns at the
time specified, gets the bodv, and turns
it over to some of the hoodlums round
here, who for a dollar or two skin it and
take off the fat. If she wishes the car
cass they dress it for her just as a butch
er would a lamb or calf. No, yellow
dogs have no value in this way; a black
dog is always chosen in preference to
any other color, if he is fat and healthy.”
“ How do they take the medicine, as
I suppose they call it?”
“In different ways. Some reduce it
to oil and take it as a liquid by the
spoonful; others fry it out and then
after it gets cold spread it on bread as
you would butter and eat it so.”
“Do they eat the meat, too?”
“Yes, and as a matter of fact, it’s not
bad eating. I’ve tried it myself, though
I was not aware of it at the time. It
looks like young veal.”
“Have you any regular customers?”
“We have one, a Mrs. Farley, who
used to live corner of Avenue A and Six
teenth street. She was pretty far gone
in consumption, but she used to come
every other week for five or six months
for a nice fat dog. I have not seen her
for some time, but I don’t think she’s
dead. Someone told me she was living
over on Ninth avenue. But as a gene
ral thins: we don’t know our customers’
names. This superstition is so general
on the east side that many of the drug
stores keep dog fat or oil in stock.
There are a number of these household
remedies for different diseases. Through
Vermont and New Hampshire the fat of
skunks is used a cure for croup and
rheumatism. Then at the South the
negroes use dogs’ flesh as a cure for
rheumatism. The dog must be jet
black or the medicine is without effica
oy. When the animal is chosen it is fed
on nothing but the lungs and livers of
racoons until it is so fat that it can
hardly walk, when it is killed and eaten.
After that if the patient is not cured he
is perfectly assured that his pains and
aches are attributable to some other
cause.”
During the last six years over 48,000
dogs have been drowned at the pound.
So far this year 8,007 have been received,
2,674 drowned, 98 redeemed, 3 returned
by order of the anthorities and 232 are
jiow awaiting death.— N. Y. World.
How the German Boy Is Schooled.
From the hour of his birth until he
has reached the mature age of six years
he is under the constant supervision of
his parents or his nurse. He plays as
children play all the world over, but his
fames and pastimes are not rough.
rom the moment his sensitive mind is
capable of bein* trained he learns obe
dience and politeness. He is not four
years old ere he wdll bid a stranger
f rood-day or good-evening, raising his
ittle hat and making his little bow at
the same time. Between four and six
be is allowed to mingle freely with the
children of the neighborhood, but his
play-ground is always circumscribed ac
cording to the size of the garden in the
rear of the block. At six the law com-
pels his parents to send him to school.
From that time on he is a persoD of
some responsibility, for his lessons
must not be neglected under any cir
cumstances, unless his health proves
him to be unequal to the tasks. His
school hours for the first year are not
long, but he must be in his place
promptly at eight o’clock in the mor
ning, remaining until ten, and at 1:30
o’clock in the afternoon, remaining until
2:30. Then he brings home his lessons
for the morrow, which, with the as
sistance of his parents, he must be pre
pared to answer for on the next day.
The second year of his school-life is a
little more severe The schools open
at six in the summer and seven in the
winter, and long before children of
his age are awakened in America, the
streets are full of little ones hurrying to
the different schools. This early class
is dismissed at eight and nine o’clock,
and the children are then expected to
assist their mothers, or, as is more
frequently the case, from ten years of
age upward, they go to the great
factories or w'ork-shops where they are
apprenticed, and learn a trade. Indeed,
the school hours are fixed thus early in
order that the childien may not only re
ceive an education but also learn how
to make a living and help their parents
to keep the wolf from the door. --
Chemnitz Cor. Chicago News-
Worshiping Account-Books.
A correspondent writes: “Dewalee,
the feast of lanterns, has often been
described in your columns. I proceed
to describe the interesting ceremony of
Vahee Pooja, which I was invited to
witness at the office of a distinguished
native firm. Among the natives of
India, whether they be Parsees, Mo
hammedans, or Hindoos, for practical
purposes the new year commences with
that of the Hindoos. The ceremony of
Vahee Pooja, as its name denotes, is
the worshiping of the account-book for
the new year. It takes place a day be
fore the Dewalee, and is performed not
only by every merchant and trader, but
even by private persons. In short, the
new year among natives of India,
whether for business or household af
fairs, commences with the new year of
the Hindoos. This necessitates the
closing of old accounts and opening of
new ones, and for the latter purpose
new books are used, but before they can
be so utilized they must be worshiped,
and each according to his means does
this. The wealthier native firms avail
themselves of the opportunity to invite
their friends and constituents to be
present to wish them a happy and pros
perous year. The firm who had invited
me is one of the oldest firms in Bombay.
I of course expected the pooja, or cer
emony of worshiping, would be per
formed by the mobeds or dustoors, a
sort otjasun ceremony—but I was sur
prised on entering the office to see the
place of honor assigned to a half
starved and very dirty-looking Brahmin.
On the floor of one of the rooms was
spread a clean floor-cloth, with huge
cushions near the walls, in the center of
which were placed silver trays contain
ing p an-sttparee, cocoanuts, battasas ,
dried dates, sugar-cane, coriander
seeds, and silver and copper coins. In
an adjoining room was placed a silver
vase containing fire, and round it stood
one of the high priests, or dustoors, of
the Parsees, attended by several
mobeds.
When all the preparations were com
pleted we took our seats by the well
adjusted cushions, and all who knew
Guzerati were given anew account-book
and anew pen, and each wrote on the
second leaf of the book what seemed to
be a supplication to the deity invoking
his blessings (in as many names as he
is known by in the Zoroastrian calen
dar) for the new year, which is written
in full with its corresponding English
and Parsee dates. When some thirty
books had been written up, the Brah
min—who sat in the center amid trays
containing the articles above enumerat
ed—had them submerged in qidal and
the red stuff used by natives on all au
spicious occasions; and thus the dustoor
and his mobeds on the one hand, and
the Brahmin on the other, invoked the
diety’s blessings. The duties of the
Brahmin were not, however, confined to
simply supplicating his gods to bless
the undertakings for the coming year
of the Parsee firm; they seemed to be
of a multifarous nature, for he appealed
to have had to bless (by muttering some
thing in Sanscrit) each article as he
took it from the tray, and after besmear
ing it with the red stuff, to place it on
one of the many new account-books
near him. This went on until the trrys
were emptied of their contents. Then
in a small silver dish were mixed some
coriander-seeds with sugar and given to
all the guests to eat; and then, as it were
by way of a final dramatic effect, the
Brahmin took a smaL silver vessel, and
in it placed some of the red stuff with
two or three pieces of ignited camphor,
and had it taken about the room while
he stood up shouting at the top of his
voice. “Brahma! Brahma!” Then
were distributed money, nosegays, and
pan-suparee to all those present, and the
proceedings terminated. I was in
formed that the books and articles would
be left undisturbed on the floor a3 placed
by the Brahmin until the new year’s
day. —Bombay Gazette.
Rather Curious Law in England.
A British Member of Parliament, Mr.
Macfarlane, has been comparing some of
the sentences recently inflicted upon
offenders of various grades, and he has
reached the conclusion that, in the eyes
of British law, it is a much lighter of
fense to kick a woman to death than to
pick her pocket. A man who kicked his
wife to death was sentenced to six weeks’
hard labor, and in the month following a
man who had picked a woman’s pocket
of nine shillings was sentenced to penal
servitude for ten years. Nor are these
exceptional cases. The penalty in a
case of knocking down a wife and kick
ing her savagely in the face was three
months’ hard labor ; for knocking down
and kicking a woman, a fine of £4; for
trying to kill a wife with a razor, being
a second offense, twelve months. Against
these are set such sentences as for steal
ing coals to the value of two shillings,
eight months’ hard labor; for stealing a
watch, five years’ penal servitude. It
would be interesting to inquire how
much of this scandalous leniency to
brutes is due to the ancient tradition that
makes a man’s wife his slave. But it
does not appear necessary that the
woman attacked should be the man’s
wife in order to give him practical im
munity. In a case of violent assault
upon a woman in the street, the ruffian
was fined forty shillings, and in another
case where three men ill-treated and
killed a woman they were imprisoned,
one for sixteen months and the others for
six months, while a man who stole
a knife and some keys got five years. All
this seems to show that the equal pro-*
tection of English law is not meant to
extend to women. —Philadelphia Tiinee.
—The button factory at Ithaca, N.
! Y* turn wit 1444 XX) buttom per day.
SUBSCRIPTION—SI.SO.
NUMBER 4.
HUMOROUS.
— “Don’t you think I have a gool
ace for the stage?” asked a young lady
with histrionic aspirations. “I don’t
know about the stage,” replied her gal
ant companion, “ but you have a love
ly face for a ’bus!” — N. Y. Commercial
Advertis r.
—Yon never would suspect that the
fine looking member of the horse guards,
vho shows off to such advantage on
parade days, is the identical man who
peddles milk and mashes the servant
girls, would you? Such is the fact, how
ever.—New Haven Register.
—“I tell yer wot, boys,” exclaimed
old Ben, the roughest man in the camp;
“I tell yer wot, boys, it made a feller
feel kinder watery round the lids to
hear that little chit of a thing a-settin’
up thar like an angel a-sayin’ her
prayers so cute, ‘Mary had a little
lamb,’ or sunthin’ er thet sort.”
—“I feel I am growing old,” said
the lady, mincingly, to her guests, “for,
really, I am beginningto lose my hair.”
(Of course she has bushels of it, and it
is as black as a raven’s wing.) “Then,
ma,” exclaims her little child, with the
innocent frankness of infancy, “why
don’t you lock up the drawer when you
put it away at night?” From the
French.
—A French scientist has made some
experiments recently which go to show
that all classes of insects, in proportion
to their size, are from fifteen to forty
times as strong as a horse. If you don’t
believe in the strength of insect life,
watch the velvety little bumble-bee,
wit h the tropical polonaise, and see Lim
lift a two-hundred-pound picnic man
cut of the grass.— Chicago Times.
—When all the buffalo are killed off,
if Uncle Sam can be induced to quit
feeding the red devils on canned goods
and other Government rations, they will
have to put up at an American board
ing-house, and then dyspepsia will wind
up the noble red man. The Secretary
of the Interior should cut this out and
paste it where ho will see it again.—
Texas Siftings.
—The new reporter was sent to the
school exhibition. His report read pret
ty well; but there were a few things in
it which did not meet the approval of
the local editor —such, for instance, as
these: “The essays of the graduating
class were good, whoever wrote them;”
“ the lioral offerings were excessive, and
from the number received by Miss Sim
plegush we judge her fatner owns a
tirst-class greenhouse;” “the young
lady who read the valedictory to the
teachers has in her the making of a fine
actress. She simulated sorrow so accu
rately that the writer might have been
misled had he not subsequently heard
the young lady speak of this same 4 dear
teacher’ as ‘a hateful old thing.’ ”
Boston Transcript.
A Sad Tiling.
One of the most unfortunate occur
rences of the present season took place
a lew morning’s since on Third street.
William H. Boot has been for some
time the owner of a gentlemanly young
antelope that was a general pet. Every
body loved little James, lor he was
affectionate in his nature and highly in
tellectual. He knew his name, too.
which is more than some of our Western
men know, who have left the East un
der peculiar circumstances.
James was a loving and devoted com
panion to Mr. Hoot at all times. When
Mr. Root went out in the yard and
stooped over to pick up something lit
tle James would take a run and jump
and knock his young master over into
the tall grass. He was always ready
for a jump, and ate every thing in sight
from red clover to the primary speller.
He had in fact a perverted taste for
literature and he fell, as mauy a young
man has fallen, as a result of this vitated
taste.
Little James a few mornings ago ate
the first page of our vile contemporary
containing a special from Alexandria
and a facetious pay local in relation to
Dr. Deadbeat’s Hand-roe down Oint
ment. His master did not at first
understand why little James was so sad,
but later he found the fragment of the
paper that was left, and at once gave up
all hope of recovery.
With his native hills far away to the
westward stretching outward and em
bracing the blue summer skj, with the
soft wind sighing over him, little James
gathered himself together in a small
package and died.
Mr. Root composed the calm features
of the dead, spread him out on the grass,
and went away where he could weep
by himself. Death at last conquers all.
The festive young man and the old peo
ple, the giddy girl in the midst of her
gum career and the old lady whose life
is but a memory, large or small, the
same fate awaits them all. So little
James, who had only just developed a
taste for literature, and before he knew
how to choose between the good amd
pure and the pernicious and false,
swallowed a special from Egypt and
skipped out for the great unknown.--
Nye's Boomerang.
—A sulphur mine in Sicily was re
cently set on fire in a very curious
manner. A wagon loaded with sulphur
was being drawn up an incline, when
the rope supporting it broke, and the
wagon rushed back into the mine at a
frightful speed. The rapid motion de
veloped heat enough to set on fire the
highly-combustible ore, and the flames
spread so quickly through the mine that
thirteen workmen were unable to escape
and thirty or forty others were seriously
fcjurod.