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n N -iV jSy~7T ■ A VIGOROUS WOOING. ■ Young Man—Sir. I have come to d»- the hand of your daughter. Sir! What do you mean. Man —Her hand, sir. is the f,i. HH my t ilence. K 1 S-r -My! My! This insolence George, call a police ■ Young Man —One moment, sir: You liistake. I know nothing of your af- Hiirs, and do not for a moment irnag- Hie that you have been guilty of any Brrong-doing. The silence 1 allude to B of another sort. I am the young fman who practises on the cortiet in the house next door. Banker—Oh! Take her. my son, and be happy. Couldn’t Manage It. The doctor had looked at the pa tient's tongue, taken his temperature, felt his pulse, and was at the point I of leaving the room, when he paused to say to the sick man's wife: 'Madam, in addition to your giving the medicine i have prescribed I wish yon would see that every morning your husband gets a shower bath.” The woman looked worried. "But, doctor,” she propounded, anxiously, “what am I goin’ to do the mornin's we don't have no showers?” BENEATH HER. CftKMMIm. Grace —Did Gladys marry for love? Helen —Oh! no. She Is too well bred for that. The Return Gift. 1 ipet a show girl, blonde and bright, W As lively as a kitten, rl gave her on her acts a hand, L But she gave me the mitten. !■$ The Modern Way. of young men ou the Mar 1 let viaduct the other evening new version of an old saw. had passed a couple of au- damsels one of the young men took the stand at the curb and gazed up and down the bridge. “What are you looking for?" In quired his companion. Pointing to the red-headed girls, the young man answered: ”i'm trying to see a white automobile.” —Youngs- town Telegram. The Weeds Return. “Confound these election bets, any way!** grumbled Harker. “Lose heavily?” Inquired his friend. “No, I won ten boxes of cigars and they were so rank I sold the whole lot to the corner tobacconist for a dollar.’’ “Well, you made a dollar, anyway.” “Yes, but that is not the worst of it. My wife saw the boxes In the window marked ‘A Bargain, s2,’ and bought the whole lot to give me as a birth day present.” FRIENDLY INTEREST, IGeunun Bakea. Myrtle—Why do you persist in re peating that awful scandal about Grace? i Marjorie—l'm trying to find out if there is any truth in it. The Milkmaid Explains. “What are you doing, my pretty maid?” "I’m watering the milk, kind sir,” she ■aid. “But Isn’t that wrong, my pretty maid?” "I’m drowning the microbes, sir,” she said. Much the Same. Little Willie —Say, pa, Is there any difference between a trust and a mo nopoly? Pa—Not much, my son. When a girl feels that she can trust a young man she is apt to want a monopoly on him. Perfectly Proper. •‘What’s the next station, conduc tor? ’ “It’a called ‘Old Glory,’ ma'am.” “But why Is it called 'Old Glory?’” "It’s a flag station." MODERN OSCULATION. Three, only three, my darling. Sterilized, sanative, slow; Not like the swift and careless ones TVe used to know . When we kissed because we loved each other, Simply to have some fun; And lavished kisses as the summer Lavishes sun. But as they kiss whose Ups are sprayed With antiseptic brine; When nothing is left to give except An anodyne. The first kiss, oh, my darling Is sprayed with germicide: For many noxious little germs In red Ups hide. The second kiss, my darling, Through antiseptic gauze, # Is truly in accordance with Hygienic laws. The third kiss, oh, my darling, M.v loce, I cannot see! This fine wire mask is horrible It seems to me. And though, of course, azotic germs We must forestall— This one last kiss, my darling, Is The worst of all! —Carolyn Wells in Life. Her Wonder. “And are you Mr. Scribblington the novelist?” asked the pretty young widow, when he had been introduced. "Yes, I am compelled to plead guilty.” "I am so glad to meet you. How often I have read your books and been filled with wonder.” “It Is very flattering to hear you say so.” "! am afraid you don't quite under stand me. You see I have written a novel myself, and I have been filled with wonder at your success in find ing people to publish yours. Won't you please tell me how you man age it?” Fly In the Ointment. After years of saving they had at last acquired a home of their own. “Of course,'* said her husband, with a sigh, "It’s nice to have our own lit tle home, but—” "But what, dear?" queried his wife as he paused. ”1 miss our monthly scraps with the landlord about the repairs which he never would make and which we never supposed he would.” ”A man needs very little to make him happy,” said the ready-made philosopher. "Yes.” replied the habitual kicker, "and when he gets even that it usual ly turns out to be something that’s more than it's worth.” AS TO ENGAGEMENTS. | y V ' Cynthia—l call it an automobile en gagement. Camille—What's an automobile en gagement? Cynthia—One that starts off all right, but nobody’s quite dead sure that it will be able to keep on going His Happy Day. The suburbanite will have his day— Soon It will come to pass; He'll never have to shovel snow Nor mow the bloomin' grass. r* A Larger Audience. "Yes,” mused the man who seemed to be thinking aloud. "I have noticed It.” "Noticed what?” queried the inno cent bystander. "'That after a woman has acquired a good speaking voice from jawing hei husband she Is apt to turn suffragette and jaw the public," answered the noisy thinker. A Fellow Worker. “Yore hands don’t look as if yew ever done any hard work,” said the old farmer. “I work with my head instead of with my hands, sir,” replied the city boarder, haughtily. "Huh!” ejaculated the o. f. "I don’t want no butters-in ’round here.” Found Guilty. Lenox—Would you call Tenby an absent-minded fellow? Bronx—Well, the other morning he thought he had left his watch at home, and then pulled it out of his pocket to see if he’d have time to go back and get it.—Brooklyn Life. Omissions of History. Pope Gregory was reforming the cal endar year. "Merely taking a stitch in time,” he explained. As evidence*that he did a good job the fabric has held together fairly well ever since. A Tender Offer. "Will you, dear madam, considet this tender of my hand?” "No, sir; your tender Is too tough a proposition.” SPEECHLESS FOR THANKS Arkansas Lady Cannot Say Enough In Praise of Cardui, Which Did Her a World of Good. Mena, Ark.—"l find Cardui to be all you represent,” writes Mrs. H. B. York, of this city. “I suffered for near ly two years, before I tried your rem edy. I have been so relieved since tak ing Cardui. I cannot say enough in its praise. It has done me a world of good, and I recommend Cardui to all women.” Similar letters come to us every day, from all over the country, telling the same story of benefit obtained from Cardui, the woman’s tonic. This great remedy is over 60 years old, and is more in demand today than ever. Cardui has stood the test of time. It Is the standard, tonic medi cine, for women of every age. The first thought, in female ail ments. Would you like to be well and strong again? Then take Cardui. It can’t possibly harm you, and Its record Indicates that it ought to help you. Have you poor health? Cardui has assisted thousands of women to glow ing good health. » Do you lack strength? Cardui Is a strength-building tonic for women. Over a million women have bene fited by its use. Can you think of any good reason why you should not try it? Ask your druggist. He knows. N. B Write to: Ladles’Advisory Dept.. Chattanooga Medicine Co., Chattanooga, Tenn., for special Instructions, and 64- page book, '‘Home Treatment for Wom en,” sent In plain wrapper on request. The Most Noticeable Change. "So you have lived In Europe for 25 years? That’s a long time for a man to be away from his own country.” “Yes, It Is, and I’m mighty glad to be home again.” “I suppose you notice a great many changes?” “Yes, many.” "What, If I may ask, Is the greatest change that has come to your notice?” “The greatest change. It seems to me, Is to be found in the fact that the vice-president of the United States succeeds in getting his name in the paper nearly as often as he might if he were a baseball player or a prom ising lightweight prizefighter.” REST AND PEACE Fall Upon Distracted Households When Cuticura Enters. Sleep for skin tortured babies and rest for tired, fretted mothers Is found In a hot bath with Cuticura Soap and a gentle anointing with Cuticura Oint ment. This treatment, in the major ity of cases, affords immediate relief in the most distressing forms of Itch ing, burning, scaly, and crusted hu mors, eczema, rashes, inflammations. Irritations, chafings, of Infancy and childhood, permits rest and sleep to both parent and child, and points to a speedy cure, when other remedies fail. Worn-out and worried parents will find this pure, sweet and econom ical treatment realizes their highest expectations, and may be applied to the youngest infants as well as chil dren of all ages. The Cuticura Rem edies are sold by druggists every where. Send to Potter Drug & Chem. Corp., sole proprietors, Boston, Mass., for their free 32-page Cuticura Book on the care and treatment of skin and scalp of infants, children and adults. The Family Growler. "Why are you weeping, little boy?” “I broke de pitcher.” "Well, there’s no use crying over spilt milk.” ‘G’wan! Dis wuz beer.” —Louis- ville Courier-Journal. TO DRIVE OFT MAI,A RIA ■ AND BUILD UP THE SYSTEM Take the Old Standard (JItOVK’B TASTiCUMSS CHILL TONIC. You know what you are taking. The formula Is plainly printed on every bottle, showing it Is simply Quinine and Iron in a taste less form. The Quinine drives out the malaria and tne Iron builds np the system. Bold by all dealers for 110 years. Price 60 cents. At the First Try. "What do you think of my dough nuts, George?” “Dear, you are a wonder!” "Do you think so, really, darling?” “I certainly do. Scientists have been trying for years to produce arti ficial rubber, and here you do it the first rattle out of the box.” For COLDS and ORIP TUcke* Capudine is the best remedy—re lieves the aching and feverishness - cures the Cold and restores normal conditions. It’a liquid—effects Immediatly. 10c., 25c., and 50c. At drug stores. There are some rich men who have made their fortunes honestly. Also you may have heard of the needle in the haystack. Mrs. Winslow’s Soothing: Syrup for Children teething:, softens the g:ums, reduces inflamma tion, allays pain, cures wind colic, 25c a bottle. It will never rain roses. It we want Beware of taking kindness from others as matters of course.—Glad stone. Anything left to be done at your leisure seldom gets done —S. Martin. You Look Prematurely Old Beoauso of those ugly, grizzly, gray hairs. Use “LA CREOLE” HAIR RESTORER. PRICE. SI.OO, retail. SUPPLY ALWAYS KEPT UP. ’ - -- -- If babies come down from heaven, mam ma. There’s one thing that’s sure, I de clare— There’s so many babies that come down each day. There can’t be race suicide there. Completely Pauperized. Albert W. Hebberd, New York's pauperizing effect. This effect must be avoided, or the recipients will all “The great danger of charity is Its become Jack Hanches. “Jack Hanch, on tlie score of bad charity expert, said at a recent din ner: health, never worked, and the pastor of the Methodist church, a man whose heart sometimes outran his head, sent the idler and his family weekly gifts of food and clothing—supported the whole crew, in fact. “A church visitor, after listening to Jack's complaints one day, said: “ ‘Yes, of course, you have had had health, we know that; but one thing at least you ought to be-thankful for, and that is our pastor’s kindness in sending you all this bread and meat and jelly and blankets, and so on. Don’t you think it is good of him to look after you so wejl?’ “‘Good of hint?' said Jack, impa tiently. ’Why, what’s he for?”’ Was Getting Monotonous. A handsome woman who had been so unfortunate as to find occasion to divorce not one but several husbands was returning from Nevada. In Chi cago she happens to meet her first husband, for whom, by the way, she always has entertained a real affec tion. “Upon my soul, if it isn't Charlie!’’ exclaimed the ex-wife, cordially shak ing hands with the gentleman whose name she formerly had borne. "I'm awfully glad to see you, Charlie!” Then, after a wistful expression had come to and been banished from her countenance, she added: "Old chap, I’ve often wondered where you were and what you were doing. It was too bad we didn’t get on better together. I hope your ex perience hasn’t been as unpleasant as mine. I’in just sick and tired of mar rying strangers!” “I fell and sprained my arm and was in terrible pain. I could not use my hand or arm without intense suffering until a neighbor told me to use Sloan’s Liniment, The first application gave me instant relief and I can now use my arm as well as ever.” —Mrs. H. B. Springkr, 921 Flora St., Elizabeth, N..J. SLOANS LINIMENT is an excellent antiseptic and germ killer heals cuts, burns, wounds, and contusions, and will draw the poison from sting of poi sonous insects. 280., 60c. and SI.OO Slo&n's book on horse*, cattle, «heep and poultry sent free. Address Dr. Earl S. Sloan, Boiton, Man., V. 8. A. 1 m |gg{ Honored by Women When ■ woman speaks of her ~. . tileDt secret *uffti3f4.*Zhe trusts you. MillionsrlaVe be- jjafckfe./-' 0* stowed this mark of confi dence on Dr. R. V. Pierce, 4g§S’ A« jt*’ • of Buffalo, N. Y. Every where there are women who bear witness to the wonder working, curing-power of Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription which sa\ es the sujje-nng sex "jM HgUgg'' from pain, and successfully Ajar * grapples with woman’s weak nesses and stubborn ills. IT MAKES WEAK WOMEN STRONCI IT HAKES SICK WOMEN WELL. No woman’s appeal was ever misdirected or her con fideuce misplaced when she wrote for advice, to the World’s Diszbnsary Mbdical Association, Dr. R. V. Pierce, President, Buffalo, N. Y. l javorjtF BHj§ Ue"rsfi tea Hg# Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets Induce mild natural bowel movement ones a day. |||f| *l4 niEN Uncle Sam puis hi* 0K on anything I aSjfl VY il stands lor current value and superior Kfjjs IPP4 worth; good as coin 0! ihe realm. It is so Bl|| M vi\h Snowdrift Hogless Lard. Every WmSk KmES can is U. S. Inspected and Passed and is so labeled. 3515ff13 bCuH Don’t buy unless you see it on the can. StIOZV- H ilg£g| I1\ ! ’1 H?i ; i 33i MM drift Hogless Lard is the best shortening ISnjH; vrt Hnullill illßrS Hi known lor superior results in cooking.and health- HSrajj lulbcnelits upon loods and digestion. Made by H 110 SIS THF, SOUTHERN COTTON OIL CO. §ll |m|P New York, Savannah, New Oriean*. Chicairo Hj THE MALARIA MONSTER If the mosquito were as big as it is bad, it would darken the air like a gigantic death-breathing dragon. Each sting of a mosquito sows the germs of malaria. These germs multiply with wonderful rapidity. I hen come chills and fever with other forms of malaria that undermine the health and sap the strength. OXIDINE —a bottle proves. It is the modem malaria medicine and the one sure antidote for malaria poisoning. It kills the chills. It quenches the fever fires. It stamps out the cause and consequences of the disease. That’s only the beginning of helpful healing work of OXIDINE. It builds up the body, revitalizes the system, enriches the blood, tones up the stomach, bowels, liver and kidneys. OXIDINE puts the body on a fighting footing of superb health. The tonic qualities of OXIDINE make it the best medicine for all weak, run down, thin, pale persona It is the best body-building tonic money can buy. 50c at Your Dealer’s PATTON-WORSHAM DRUG CO., M!rs„ Dallas. Texas. That Cold Room which can be kept at full or low heat for a short or long time. Four quarts of oil will give a glowing heat for nine hours, without smoke or smell. An indicator always shows the amount of oil in the fonr. Filler-cap does not screw on; but is put In like a cork in a bottle, and is attached by a chain and cannot get lost. An automatic-locking flame spreader prevents the wick from being turned high enough to smoke, and is easy to remove and drop back so that it can be cleaned in an instant. The burner body or gallery cannot become wedged, and can be unscrewed tn an instant for rewicking. Finished in japan or nickel, strong, durable, well made, built for service, and yet light and ornamental. Has a cool handle. Dealert Everywhere. If no/ at yours, write for descriptive circular 1 yij.-.nay to the nearest agency of the Standard Oil Company w (Incorporated) Queen’s High. "Does Bliggins ever bluff when he plays cards?” “Never until he gets home and ex plains where he has been.’’ We often hear the expression, “as poor as a church mouse.” But even a church mouse doesn't have to live on the collections. on the side of the house where winter blasts strike hardest always has a lower temperature than tne rest of the house. There are times when it is necessary to raise the temperature quickly or to keep the temperature up for a long period. That can’t be done by the regular method of heating without great trouble and overheating the rest of the house. The only reliable method of heating such a room alone by other means is to use a Perfection Smokeless a Absolutely smokeless and odorless ■ A ■ Instant relief and pt»«. A V I U ft litve cure. Tnai ifuimtnl #4«J I II VvlM ,n * il " i,r " I’r.Klu.man ■ ■ w ■ mauX arb Box ti2U, \ntunta.. ui-tHhompoon’sEyeWater p 4 OU If you want cn**h for your business, corporis* UMOII tlon, stock, patent, o”Either property, addreat NOHITIWKSTKILN HISaaK-.S AGK.NCY, ninneayolU, IlumM W. N. U., ATLANTA, NO. 44-1910,