Newspaper Page Text
THE JOURNAL
PUBLISHED WEEKLY.
(I'M'HRAN. GA
What Is so useless as a pair of tight
kid gloves in zero weather?
Jk
A Minnesota man fasted for 105
days, this being just 104% days too
long for us.
A Chicago jurist says that a motor
cycle is a dangerous weapon. He
must ride one.
The spring fashions will be devoid
of curves. Again, the thin woman
comes into her own.
A new Japanese battleship is called
Heiyel. Sounds more like a battle
cry than a battleship.
The women of France are not good
cooks, according to expert evidence.
But. ah. the styles they wear!
A Paris doctor has discovered a
means of fattening one by electricity.
It must be a shocking operation.
A Chicago woman says she can't
live on SIO,OOO a year. She might try
starving to death on that allowance.
A New York woman, under a vow
of silence, hasn’t spoken to her hus
band for eleven years. Lucky man!
Rats are causing much trouble In
Washington by devouring postage
•tamps. Why not poison the stamps?
Kansas City complains that it is
overrun vrith fakers. Is Kansas City
easy, or ure the fakers hard put to
It?
Mexicans are abandoning bull fight
ing for automobile racing. Hard to
•ay whether It's progress or retrogres
sion.
Baltimore has a store with displays
of rubber shoes for dogs. Another
step In their anti-nois<* crusade, per
haps.
The Chinese have taken to wearing
derby huts. Just watt till the hobble
•kirt strikes the land of cherry blos
soms.
Spain has set about, building a new
navy. Doubtless it will take better
care of the new navy than it did of
the old.
Albatross eggs are esteemed a
great delicacy in Hawaii. Hen's eggs
are esteemed a great delicacy In
America.
A scientist comes to the front now
with the agile suggestion that poverty
causes bow legs. Is that why jockeys
have them?
A Missouri woman lost two hus
bands by lightning. And yet they say
lightning never strikes twice in the
same place.
A Washington bride wore a pair of
sr.o silk stockings, says an exchange,
and displayed only about $2 25 worth
of 'em at that.
Another pleasant thing about cold
•naps is that they are never compli
cated with damage by lightning and
excessive rain.
A Detroit man wants a divorce be
cause his wife talks too much. Like
a man suing a city for allowing him
to commit suicide.
San Francisco authorities detained
a woman who had sixteen trunks, and.
although that was not the cause, it
was cause enough.
Nine people were killed during the
twenty-day rabbit hunting season in
Ohio. Strange how easy it is to mis
take a man for a rabbit.
A Tacoma man, acquitted by a jury,
kissed three of them# They were
women. We see right now where
feminine juries become mighty popu
lar.
Navy officers imprisoned chickens in
the turret of the ram Katahdin and
then shot at it with guns. This is the
poorest way to kill a chicken we ever
heard of.
The man with a cold in his head Is
a menace to society, say the doctors
Another menace to'society is the man
who habitually suffers from “cold
feet” as a crisis.
Three college men out on a celebra
tton smashed an automobile and were
promptly thrashed by the owner, who
proved a football star. It always pays
to Investigate in such cases before ta
king action.
Half way down from the top flight
of stairs at an elevated railway sta
tion one morning not long ago a man
stopped to read the conspicuous sign,
“Look where you step!"—and fell
down the rest of the way.
One of those college savants pro
poses to teach wives how to spend
money. Only one guess is permitted
as to whether he is married or not.
A New York divine despairs because
ministers are paid less than laborers.
But laborers are in greater demand in
New York city than are ministers.
A one legged man walked from Jack
sonville Fla., to New York We
should think that a man who has only
one leg would take better care of it
than that
Those Peruna Testimonials
How Are They Obtained?
S. B. HARTMAN. M. D. themselves of
chronic catarrh
by various forms of treatment they
have found complete relief by the
use of Peruna. These testimonials
have come to me unrequested, unso
licited, unrewarded in any way, di
rectly or indirectly. They have sim
ply been gleaned from my private cor
respondence with patients that have
been more or less under my treatment
or taking my remedies.
No remedy, official or unofficial, has
a greater accredited basis for the
claims we make for it than Peruna as
a remedy for catarrh.
I have never been opposed at any
time to the regulations offered by the
Pure Food and Drugs Act. I am not
now opposed to Its provisions, but I
am opposed to the proposed amend
ments to give to a partisan board of
physicians the unqualified authority to
decide as to all therapeutic claims
which may be made for a proprietary
medicine. It Is manifestly unjust to j
Fire in- Bank of England.
The, first tire within memory oc
curred at the Bank of England, Lon
don, a few days ago. The fire broke
out in the southeastern portion of
the building. The flooring and joist
ing were considerably damaged. The
outbreak was discovered by the Bank
of England authorities, and subdued
by their own appliances in -30 min
utes. A lieutenant, and a dozen men
of the Irish Guards on duty at the
bank, with fixed bayonets, assisted
the police in keeping the crowd back
from the building
TERRIBLE ITCHING ON LIMBS
Glen Wilton. Va. —“Five years ago I
was in a terrible state of suffering
with blotches on my limbs, of the most
intense stinging and itching. I could
not rest day or night; the itching was
so severe that it W'aked me out of j
sleep. 1 could never get a full night's 1
rest. I actually! scrubbed the very i
flesh so severely that In a short time |
the affected places were so sore 1
could scarcely walk with any ease or
comfort. The places were a solid rais
ed up mass. I would scratch the parts
until they would bleed. I tried home
remedies but got no good; the itching
just kept on getting worse. I used
some salve which simply was no good
at all.
“I happened to see the Cuticura
Soap nnd Ointment advertisement and
wrote for a free sample. Almost like
magic I commenced getting relief. I j
bought a 50c box of Cuticura Oint- j
ment and some Cuticura Soap and I |
was entirely cured from a torment |
that would be hard to describe.” j
(Signed) W. P. Wood, Mar. 9, 1912. j
Cuticura Soap and Ointment sold ;
throughout the world. Sample of each
free, With 32-p. Skin Book. Address
post-card “Cuticura, Dept. L, Boston.”
Adv.
Balanced.
Representative Pujo was talking in
Washington about the currency.
“It must balance,” lie said. “It
must balance automatically and deli
cately. It must resemble the Christmas
husband.”
“ ‘Oh, John, dear,’ said this chap's
wife, ‘l'm so sorry you’ve got all those
heavy parcels to carry!’
“ ‘Well, you see,’ John panted, re
assuringly, 'my pocket is very much
lighter now.' ”
Surprised Him.
There was a fellow who proposed to
all the girls just for fun. He had no
idea of getting himself engaged, but
he enjoyed the preliminaries. So he
was disagreeably surprised once and
served him right.
“Miss Evelyn,” he said soulfully.
“do you think you could love me well :
enough to be my wife?”
“Yes. darling." she cried.
“Well —er —now I know where to i
come in case I should want to marry." !
—Detroit Free Press.
Geography of Liquor.
Mayor Gaynor, discussing city gov
ernment in his wonted illuminating
and brilliant 'way, said in New York:
“We must not have one reform law
for the rich and another for the poor.
It is as bad for the millionaire to gam
ble in his club as for the laborer to
gamble In a stuss joint. It is as bad
to become intoxicated on champagne
as on mixed ale.
“Too many reformers, so-called,
think that when a man is drunk on
Fifth avenue he is ill, and when a
man is ill on Third avenue he is
drunk.”
Unusual.
“A candlemaker combines ex
tremes.”
"How so?”
"His business is both cereous and
light."
Its Class.
"That was a raw deal.”
"What was?”
“The plot they cooked up.”
refer such questions to a body of men
who are already convinced of the
worthlessness of proprietary medi
cines. To give such a body of men
the unlimited authority to decide
whether our claims for Peruna are !
valid or not is a manifest violation of
my constitutional rights.
My claims are based both on cred- !
itable theoretical grounds and upon !
Irrefutable statistics. But I am quite ;
willing to have our claims as to the
composition of Peruna properly and
thoroughly investigated, and if found
to be false a proper penalty should
be fixed. Or if I am making any
statements concerning disease, as to
the nature, symptoms or danger of
any disease, if I am making any such
statements as to unnecessarily fright
en the people by false assumptions, I
am willing to submit to any unbiased
tribunal or Investigation.
Mrs. Alice Bogle, 803 Clinton St.,
Circleville, Ohio, writes: “I want to
inform you what Peruna has done j
for me. I have been afflicted with ca- j
tarrh for several years. I have tried
different medicines and none seemed :
to do me any good until I used Pe
runa. I have taken six bottles and
can praise it very highly for the good
it has done me. I also find it of great
benefit to my children."
Peruna Is for sale at all drug stores.
ASK YOUR DRUG
GIST FOR FREE PE
RUNA ALMANAC
FOR 1913.
Roses in Medicine.
Roses at one time figured prom
inently in the pharmacopoeia. Pliny
gives 32 remedies compounded of
rose leaves and petals. Sufferers
from nervous complaints used to seek
relief by sleeping on rose pillows and
one is told that Helogabalus used to
imbibe rose wine as a pick-me-up
a{ter his periodical gormandizing
hours. The flower was also served
at table, both as a garnish, in the way
parsley is now used, and as a salad,
and rose water was largely used for I
flavoring dishes. Roses as food have j
gone out of favor among western 11a- 1
tions, but the Chinese still eat rose
fritters.
NATURALLY.
She —I understand that Maud's mar*
rjage was a great shock to all her
friends.
He —Yes; I heard she married an
eelctrical engineer.
Made a Complete Job.
"Mrs. Dungleford, has your husband
been cured of his cacoathes scriben
di yet?”
“1 —I think so: the surgeons took
that out when they removed his ver
miform appendix."
The Distinction.
"I'd marry a man not of words, but
of deeds.”
"So would I, if they were title
deeds."
I don't want a woman to weigh me
in a balance; there are men enough
for that sort of work.—Oliver Wen
dell Holmes.
Substantial
Breakfast
Pleasure
in every package of
Post
Toasties
Crisp, sweet bits of toasted
Indian Com, to be served with
cream or milk.
Always
Ready to Eat
Direct From
Package—
Always Delicious.
Sold by Grocers every
where.
“The Memory Lingers”
Postum Cereal Co., Ltd.
Battle Creek, Mich.
S.B.KI9EK
FI PA 15 UP
AGAINST
u
"When pa came home the other night ina
had a paper there
That told about a husbandette somebody
had somewhere;
Ma tried to not let on at first she’d read
about the case,
Hut pa picked up the sheet and saw where
she had marked the place;
She watched him while he read It
through; before that I’d of bet
Most anything I had that pa was not a
husbandette.
He laid*the paper down at last and glared
at me a while
And lifted up his eyebrows in a very
haughty style.
"So that’s the kind of stuff you read?” he
said to ma. at last;
“You’d better change your habit, and
you’d better change it fast!
At home’s a decent woman’s place—just
keep that In your mind;
These suffragettes are a disgrace to gen
tle womankind.’’
Ma stood and listened patiently, without
a word to say,
Till pa got almost out ot breath, and let
him talk away;
He said if women ever won the right to
east a vote
He’d think the ship of state had got to be
a leaky boat.
And all the time be talked the worse his
anger seemed to get;
You could have seen he had no use for
any suffragette.
At last when ma could get a chance she
started In to speak;
I couldn’t tell you all she said If I would
take a week;
She told'us how pa had forgot to register
last fall.
And when he tried to interrupt she
wouldn’t stop at all;
She picked the paper up where pa had
fiung it on the floor.
And read about men selling vote--and
then she talked some more.
She asked pa what he’d ever done to
show that he was great.
And spoke about the night before when
he was out so late;
She told 11s she colild tell some things pa
didn’t know she knew;
He kind of shrunk down in his chair and
| seemed to tremble, too,
And when the argument was done pa’s
brow was kind of wet;
Since then, somehow, it looks as though
he was a husbandette.
Spoiled.
“Do you think it pays to advertise?”
“That depends. I once had a beau
tiful scheme by which I expected to
make a fortune. My plan was to give
others a chance to invest in an en
terprise I was promoting. I sent an
advertisement to one of the papers,
the first line being GET-RICH-QUICK,
in big letters. It was printed GET
RICH-QUACK."
Or Something, Yes.
“Do you drink whisky because you
like the taste of it or for the purpose
of getting the effect?"
"Oh, no, for neither of those rea
sons. When I take a drink it is be
cause I am sure that it will help me
to ward off a cold or something.”
Heaven.
A man who has been in political
life for a long time informs us that
his idea of heaven is a place where a
man who gets into office himself is
not expected to find a public job for
everybody who voted for him.
Nice.
One of the nicest things about be
ing engaged is that the girl doesn't
make it necessary for you to climb
over chairs and mattresses in house
cleaning time.
At Fifty.
“Do you think a man is old at
fifty?”
“He is pretty likely to be if he has
had to support many ultimate consum
ers.”
Certainly.
“Yes, he has quite a reputation as a
wit.”
“Then, of course, people laugh at
everything he says.”
Curious to Know.
“I went to hear Shakespeare in Ger
man last night.”
“Did you? How did he get away
with it?”
Too Many.
Too many men have the courage of
other people’s convictions.
900 Drops
ALCOHOL-3 PER CENT
A\egetable Preparalion for As -
similaling the Food and Reg ula
ling the Stomachs and Bowels of
Infants/CHiLDKhN
Promotes Digestion,Cheerful
ness and Rest Contains neither
Opium. Morphine nor Mineral
Not Narc otic
Pt"pr o/OU DrSAMV£imC//ER
PuftyJtm S**d -
Alx Senna * \
ftoehe/Je Safts -
Ann* S**d -
ftppermnU - V
BiCnrlanaUSedef l
barm Seed - 1
CtonAed Sunar-
Winbryrern fl/ncr *
A perfect Remedy forConstipa
lion, Sour Stomach,Diarrhoea,
Worms .Convulsions Feverish
ness and LOSS OF SLEEP
Fac Simile Signature of
Tiie Centaur Company.
NEW YORK
At 6 months old
35 Doses ~J5 Cents
%'l
'Guaranteed under the FoodJn*
Exact Copy of Wrapper.
TOLD HER LIFE’S AMBITION
Small Girl Somewhat Crudely Ex
pressed Her Desire to Be a
Teacher When She Grew Up.
At one time or another during the*
ward school life of a little girl there
prevails the ambition to become a
teacher. Perhaps it is the indisputable
authority possessed by the hand that
wields the rules or the nonchallant dis
play of wisdom on topics surrounded
by the most inaccessible difficulties
to the small boy and girl. They will
nearly always tell their ambitions to
a well liked teacher, and ’one rather
surprising declaration was given by a
little maid in one of Miss Clara Town
send's room before she became princi
pal of the James school.
Among the special favors coveted
by the youngsters is the permission
to stay behina after school and clean
the blackboards. One evening a little
girl was given the desired privilege,
and while engaged in the task she
struck up a shy sort of conversation
with Miss Townsend. Finally the
usual confession was made.
“When I grow up, I am going to be
a teacher," she announced.
“That so?” pleasantly asked Miss
Townsend. “And why do you want
to be a teacher?”
"“Well," was the rather surprising
answer, “I'll have to be either a
teacher or a lady, and I would rather
be a teacher.” —Indianapolis News.
Our Discontent.
1
Brand Whitlock, the mayor of To
ledo, was talking about discontent.
“It discontent, our divine dis
content," he said, “that will make a
great nation of us.
“I believe in discontent. I can
sympathize even with the discontent
ed old farmer, who said:
“‘Contented? When'll I be con
tented? Wall, I'll be contented when
I own all the land adjoinin' mine —and
not befur, be gum!’”
Black Record.
“There goes a man of dark deeds."
“Bless us! What does he do?”
“Puts in coal.”
THE BEST TEACHER.
Old Experience Still Holds the Palm.
For real practical reliability and
something to swear by, experience—
plain old experience—is able to carry
a big load yet without getting sway
backed.
A So. Dak. woman found some
things about food from Old Experi
ence a good, reliable teacher.
She writes:
"I think I have used almost every
breakfast food manufactured, but none
equal Grape-Nuts in my estimation.
“I was greatly bothered with weak
stomach and indigestion, with forma
tion of gas after eating, and tried
many remedies for it but did not find
relief.
“Then I decided I must diet and see
if I could overcome the difficulty that
way. My choice of food was Grape-
Nuts because the doctor told me I
could not digest starchy food.
“Grape-Nuts food has been a great
benefit to me for I feel like a different
person since I begun to eat it. It is
wonderful to me how strong my
nerves have become. I advise every
one to try it, for experience Is the
best teacher.
“If you have any stomach trouble —
can’t digest your food, use Grape-
Nuts food for breakfast at least, and
you won't be able to praise it enough
when you see how different you feel.”
Name given by Postum Co., Battle
Creek. Mich. Read the little bock,
“The Road to Wellville.” in pkgs.
"There's a Reason."
Ever rend the above letterf A new
one appears from time to time. They
arc genuine, true, and foil of hurntr.
interest. Adv.
CASTORIA'
For Infants and Children,
The Kind You Have
Always Bought.
Bears the Ay \
Signature /Am
- w
tF ln
Use
U' For Over
Thirty Years
Their Cinch.
“Guns have an easy job, haven’t
they?”
"How do you mean?”
"They're employed only to be
fired.”
AWFUL THOUGHTS
QUICKLYJANISHED
Thought, at Times, that She Would
Die. Saves Herself, Also
Y oung Girl Whose Troubles
Were Similar to Hers.
'Clarksville, Tenn. —Mrs. H. L. Ma
son, of this place, writes: “I want to
write you a few lines in regard to
your medicine, Cardui, the woman's.
tonic.
Before my marriage I lived in Ev
ansville, Ind. I suffered very much
with womanly trouble. I thought, at
times, that I would nearly die with
pains in my stomach, and backache.
I saw your medicine advertised, and
sent and got a bottle. The first bottle
helped me, and I haven’t been both
ered with any of my old troubles since.
After my marriage, I lived in Mt.
Vernon, Ind., and one of my neighbor's
girls suffered like I did. I told them
to give her Cardui, the woman’s tonic,
as it would help her, and It certainly
did, right away.
I will surely recommend Cardui to
all women, for I think it is a good med
icine for all kinds of womanly
trouble.”
If ysu are suffering from any of tho
ailments peculiar to weak women,
such as headache, backache, sideache,
nervousness, sleeplessness, etc., wo
urge you to give Cardui, the woman’s
tonic, a trial.
It should surely do for you, what it
has done for thousands of others, in
the past half century, who suffered
with similar troubles.
Begin taking Cardui today. Your
druggist sells It.
N. B.—if'W. tr. ChaluiKioga MnSdae Co., Ladies’
Advitory Department, Chattanooga. Terme»te< lor
Sprial hdnrHt*) on your ease and 64-page hook, "Home
Treatment lor Wome," sent in plain wrap. er. Adv.
Pleasing Sounds.
"What is more delightful than the
careless prattle of a child?” asked the
fond father?”
“Have you ever heard the rattle of a
train for which you had been waiting
nine hours at a lonely little station
750 miles from home?” replied the
i traveling man.
Self-Appreciation.
j “How do you know your speech
; made such a profound impression?”
| asked the doubting friend. “There
! wasn't very much cheering.”
“That’s just the point,” replied Sen
i ator Sorghum. “I am one of the ora
j tors to whom my constituents would
| rather listen than hear themselves ap
' plaud.”
Keeping Her Word.
Josephine—Do you know to whom
j Stella is engaged?
Margaret—Yes, but I promised r
| would not tell. However, I don’t
; think there'll be any harm in my writ
! ing his name on a piece of paper for
j you.—Satire.
r The Man Who Put the
jEEsIn F E p T
| K Look for This Trade-Mark Pic-
Jfedk ture on the Label when buying
ALLEN’S FOOT=EASE
UZ&fmZm The Antiseptic Powder for Ten-
Traae-Mfii k. der. Aching Feet. Sold every
allens^olmstled^
/9*TKOI M SiWc 'ls# 1
WATERter^'"'^
JOHN L.THOMPSON SONS* CO.,Troy,N.Y.
PISO'S REMEDY
zicn;
Bat Cough Syrup. Taste* Good. U*e
in time. Sold by Druggists.
FOR COUGHS AND.COLDS
'SX3SZ