Newspaper Page Text
THE proper use of guano.
Messrs. Editors: On the grounds that
any facts that may be made known con
cerning the all-important business of farm
ing are worth the trouble of bringing them
out, 1 enter a discussion in behalf of the
herc-of-latc much abused guano. It is ad
mitted that many serious abuses have
grown out of the use of guano, and to cor
rect these should be the careful study of
all who may use it; but to charge failures
on the farm to its use, is a great mistake ;
for my observation is that a large majority
of all who do use it make a good per cent,
on the investment. It is an established
fact amongst both scientific and successful
farmers that it pays to fertilize the soil,
even with guano; and I propose that it is
as unwise to refuse this agent and helper,
as it would be injudicious to refuse hired
labor when needed. In fact, this is a form
of hired labor which is faithful to work
day and night foryou throughout the grow
ing season.
The prime cause of failure accompanying
the use of guano has been extravagance on
the part of the farmers. Guano may in
crease the crop enough to pay its own cost
with a good profit, but it cannot pay all the
debts piled up against it. It would be as
unjust to condemn a hired servant because
lie could not produce as much as you could
spend—and about as poor economy to re
fuse to hire others when needed, as to de
cline the use of a first-class fertilizer.
But it does not follow, by any means,
that all you have to do is to supply the
farm with plenty of good guano. No sys
tem of farming has ever been made a great
success unless it was an intelligent one;
and generally the measure of success is in
direct proportion to the amount of intelli
gence controlling it. So, I declare the
principle of fertilizing the soil, so as to
produce large and remunerating crops, is a
powerful auxiliary to the farm; but when
applied to the use of commercial fertilizers,
the farmer should be very careful to secure
an honest guano and acquaint himself as to
the best way to use it, so as to obtain the
greatest amount of benefit.
It is said that the man who saves is the
one who accumulates ; so it is, but making
precedes saving, and the secret of making
on the farm consists in availing of all the
agents of nature which are profusely scat
tered about you and for your special use.
The successful farmer presses everything
into his Service that he can make labor for
him, from the pig that roots up the hidden
acorn and converts it into delicious ham for
his master’s table, or the cow that grazes
upon the commons and returns laden with
rich milk for the household, on down to
the processes of nature, whereby impond
erable agents are solidified and converted
into the cereals, fruits and all manner of
delicacies. The farm is a factory, with all
necessary machinery, in perfect order, run
by water and steam combined, all furnished
free of charge, and can you not furnish a
little raw material and let it run in full
time ? C.
A Reminiscence of tlie War.
One morning a party were sitting at
White Sulphur, and the conversation had
fallen upon the late war. Personal remin
iscence was in order. Each was the hero
of his own hair-breadth escape, and the
sequels were blood and thunder.
Within ear-shot sat an old gray-coated
Virginian, attentively listening and turning
his quid reflectively between his teeth. At
length he spoke:
“ Gentlemen, you’ve all been through a
heap, but they haint none of you had a
wuss time nor 1, I’ll bet.”
“ Which side was you on?” asked one.
“ Nary side, gentlemen, but I had a very
hard time,” and the old fellow, drawing
out his quid of reflection, proceeded :
“ Wall, when the war fust broke out, I
didn’t know much about it nohow. I was
a studying it out, but hedn't come to no
judgment. One night my darter, Mary
Ann, was took powerful sick. The doctor
he wrote a script, and told me to go right
off and get it. So I bridled my old mar'
and started. Wall, gentlemen, when 1 got
I reckon, 'bout three miles from home —it
was monstrous dark—some one called out
halt!—and I hiked. Fust I knowed 1 was
a prisoner, and the boys was 'round thicker
nor June-bugs. Sez they : ‘ Who arc you
fur?’ Sez I: ‘Gentlemen, darter Mary
Ann, she .’ Sez they : ‘ Dam Mary
Ann ! Who are you fur? Speak out.
Hurra for somebody !’ I studied a minit,
an’ sez I, on a ventur’ like, ‘ Hurra for
Jeff. Davis !’ They sez, mad as hornets, ‘I
told you he was a d—d rebel. Git of that
mar’ !’
“ Gentlemen; I hain't telling you no lie.
they took me off my mar’, and bucked me
over a log, and gin me 500. It hurt me
powerful bad ; I was monstrous sore. I
mounted my mar’ and started on. I hadn’t
got morn three miles, when I heerd an
other voice call out, ‘halt!’ an’l hiked;
and agin the boys had me. ‘ Who are you
fur?’ sez they. Sez I, ‘Gentlemen, my
darter Mary Ann is powerful sick, an’ the
doctor ’ ‘ Dam the doctor ! who are
you fur? Iluryh for somebody !’
“I wan’t goin to be kotched agin’ so T
jest took off my hat, an’ sez I as loud as I
could, ‘ Hurrah for Lincoln !’ * There ?’
sez they, madder nor blazes. ‘ I told you
he was a d—d traitor ! Git down off that
mar.’ Gentlemen. I hain't telling you no
lie. They took me off that mar’, and
frilly 1
$1.50 A YEAR.
bucked me over a log. and, jest whar I was
sore, they gin me 500 more. It was mon
strous bad. But I got on an' went along.
Jest as I was a cornin' into town, another
man called out: 4 Halt !* an' I hiked.
4 Who are you fur? says he. 4 Hurrah for
somebody.' Gentlemen, I wan’t never
agoin to be kotched agin. 1 jestsez, 4 Mis
ter, you jest be so kind as to hurrah fust,
jest this once.’ ”
Tin* Or lif in of Women.
A correspondent says : In looking over
the papers of my lamented uncle and guar
dian, I found an old manuscript, which
purported to be the rabbi's beliei concern
ing the origin of women.
The same is not a little singular, and for
the benefit of the ladies too favorab y in
clined towards Prof. Darwin's theory, I
will give it in substance : According to
this old rabbinical tradition man was
originally formed with a tail like a monkey,
anil the Deity, becoming enraged at the
people on account of their wickedness, cut
off this appendage, and made woman out
of it.
The manuscript does not state with any
degree of clearness why this particular
member, above all others, was blotted out
of existence by his Iloyal Highness. We
infer, however, that the Deity deprived
them of their tails because it occurred to
him as being the most effective and diabol
ical means of punishment that he could
possibly inflict, as man would thus be de
prived of his most natural organ for ward
ing of flies, which abound in vast numbers
in the East, propagated undoubtedly by
the rich, warm climate so peculiar to the
oriental regions.
At present we are not prepared to state
that man’s beauty was at all enhanced by
the amputation or disintegration, as it were,
of his tail.
What could be more charming than to
see Romeo carefully lay his tail over his
left arm as he addressed the lovely Juliet
in the balcony scene or what could be more
enchanting than to see our justly celebra
ted Henry Ward Beecher leisurely adjust
his tail between the leaves of his bible as
a book-mark, while asking for the divine
blessing.
Further on, the manuscript informs us
that the inhabitants did not submit to the
cutting off of their tails without a severe
struggle. It was hard for them to swallow
the loss of their ornament. To cover up
their deformity, and at the same time to
gratify an inborn desire to wear a tail,
these heathen sports inaugurated anew
style of coat which they called “swallow
tail,” by which name it still continues to
be known.
The above are the main facts as deduced
from the manuscript.
Hut the following reflection, taken, we
believe, from one of Cicero’s orations, ex
plains the light in which that profound
philosopher viewed the subject under con
sideration, viz :
“If such is the tie between women and men,
The ninny who weds is a pitiful elf;
For he takes to his tail like an idiot again,
And thus makes a deplorable ape of himself.”
“And vet if we judge as the fashion prevails,
Every husband remembers the original plan ;
And knowing his wife is no more than his tail,
Why he leaves her behind him as much as he can.”
Another of Mr. liej ’s Letters.
Somebody has recovered a letter written
by lion. Daniel M. Key to some Demo
crats in Bangor, Maine, who had invited
him to come and help them celebrate Wash
ington’s birthday, lie then said : “ You
whipped us, and whipped us badly. Slaves
became free men and citizens. The South
lost their values, lost their war debts and
obligations, and lost everything which it
had staked on the result. No State can se
cede from the Union. Of this determina
tion of these issues we cannot complain.
We claim to have been brave and honest,
but we fought men who were brave and
honest, and were defeated. We should
sacrilice our honor and our manhood if we
failed to stand firmly and unwaveringly bv
the consequences. We accept the amend
ments to the Constitution and the laws
which enforce them. We could not return
our freemen to slavery if we would, nor
would we do so if we could. They have
our sympathy. The quarrel was not with
them ; it was about them. They were not
parties to it, and took no part in it. So
great were their affection and fidelity to
their masters, that they protected and pro
vided for their households while they knew
that their masters were engaged in a war
to continue them and their posterity in
slavery. History furnishes us no like ex
ample of unselfish faithfulness, and South
ern men must be bad or so grossly ignor
ant as to be almost criminal who can feel
the least animosity to the colored race and
people on account of our late troubles.
To you of the North it has no doubt seem
ed that we have gone slowly, but we have
moved as rapidly as we could. The races
are beginning to appreciate their new rela
tions toward each other and are better dis
posed. Colored men are not so doubtful
of white men, nor white men so suspicious
of colored men as formerly. There is no
disturbance, no conflict in any State which
is left to govern its own affairs. They oc
cur only where unscrupulous men impose
upon the colored peoide to maintain power
and place by which they may rob a weak
and helpless people. What we need is the
confidence of our Northern brethren—evi
dence that they can trust our honor and
our manhood. It has been long since this
has been manifested toward us. ‘ Breth
ren, let us love one another.’ ”
HARTWELL, GA„ WEDNESDAY, APRIL 'i. 1877.
“Judge Nol."
Chicago Tribune.
In speaking of a person's faults,
Pray don't forget your own ;
Remember, those with homes of glass
Should seldom throw a stone.
If we have nothing else to do
Put talk of others' sin,
'Tis better we commence at home,
And from that point begin.
We have no right to judge a man—
He should be fairly tried ;
Should we not like his company,
We know the world is wide.
Some may have faults —and who have not,
The old us well as young?
Perhaps we may. for aught we know,
Have many where they've one.
I'll tell you of a better 4 plan,
And one that works full well:
Be sure your own defects you cure
Before of others tell.
And, though 1 sometimes chance to bo
No worse than some 1 know.
My own shortcomings bid me let
The faults of others go.
Then let us all, when we commence
To slander friend or fie,
Think of the harm one word may do
To those we little know.
Remember, curses sometimes, like
44 Our chickens, roost at home ;”
Don’t speak of others’ faults until
We have none of our own.
“Breakers Ahead!”
D. T. TAYLOR
There are breakers just ahead of your
barque, 0, sinful man. You have hail a
sunny voyage over life's sea. A fine ship,
smooth waters prosperous breezes, boon
companions, good cheer—all these have
been yours. You have had few cares,
much success, and many friends. Yon
have spent your days in careless hilarity,
your nights in wantonne# and song. Even
Time has touched you but gently ; the sil
ver is scarce visible in your locks. You
stand erect; your arm is yet strong; your
courage fails not. You count on many
days of mirth and festivity, tossing about
the wine-cup and quaffing at pleasure’s
bowl, in years still .40 come, The siren
leads you on, on, on ; you arc intoxicated
with her smiles, you are giddy with her
charmed cup. Conscience is quiet,—you
have stifled her monitions. Fear departs,
—you have put out the eyes of caution.
All above you seem serene; you dream of
a joyful landing on the sunny shore that
still appears far awaj\ In the madness of
your heart j’ou cry. I will drink sin’s cup
to the dregs. I will crucify wisdom ; out
on the thoughts of responsibility ! tell me
not of death ; away with judgment, a hell,
a heaven!
But beware ! There are surely breakers
ahead. They who watch the night-signs
see them dimly through the darkness ; hear
their hungry roar, and know their grasp is
swift destrucion. You are fast approach
ing them. Your ship will go on the wild
rocks ; the collision will be merciless. The
hoarse waves in their fury will dash her to
atoms. A starless night will gather in
blackness over you. Nodawning will come
to your vision. Horror and fear will in
vade your soul. Remorse will sit en
throned in your conscience. The storm of
anger you have insanely braved will burst
upon you ; the fires you have trifled with
will commence to burn, and there will be
no escape. Knocking will be vain—there
is no Savior to hear. Weeping will be vain,
mercy’s eyes shall be averted. Wails will
be vain—the rocks and skies will echo
them mockingly. One glimpse of the fair,
green lands, and sunbright bills, and calm,
peaceful days beyond, that waited in vain
the coming of your feet; one thought of
that strange ingratitude that spurned Eter
nal Love ; one intense flash of regret as you
wailing cry, ‘‘lt might have been!” one
shriek of horror, when the sullen caverns
of eternity answer back, “Too late !” and
all is ended. 0, the keen despair of a soul
doomed to feel the exterminating ire of an
angry insulted God. Will you longer mad
ly brave it, O man? Will you complacent
ly trim your sail, and lay oil your oar, and
smile at danger, while just above the Ni
agara of everlasting ruin? I shout in your
ears There are breakers ahead ! Cast off
slumber! Awake ! Arise! Leap to the
rock of safety ! Strain every nerve, or go
down in the utter darkness of a hopeless
night without a warning.
Tlie Drunkard'll Will.
I leave to society a ruined character,
wretched example, and a memory that will
soon rot.
I leave to my parents, during the rest of
their lives, as much sorrow as humility in
a decrepit and feeble state can sustain.
1 leave to my brothers and sisters as
much mortification and injury as I could
conveniently bring upon them.
I leave to my wife a broken heart, a life
of wretchedness and shame, to weep over
me and my premature death.
I give and bequeath to each of my child
ren, poverty, ignorance, a low character
and the remembrance that their father was
a drunkard.
—
It is true of newspapers as well as of
churches, that those who contribute the
least to their support, criticise and find
most fault with their management.
An Economical fVuitilc.
Yesterday morning the female head of a
family called at a grocery and asked for
prunes. Some prunes were exhibited and
she inquired :
44 Do you warrant them?”
44 We do.”
44 Perfectly fresh, are they ?”
44 Indeed they are. 4 ’
44 No worms in them?”
44 Not a worm.”
44 Full weight, ure they?”
44 Full weight, madam.”
“Sweet, are they?”
44 I warrant them sweet.”
“ No pits in them ?”
44 Not a pit.”
44 And a prize package with every
pound?” she asked alter a pause.
44 Yes, madam.”
44 And a chronio, too?”
44 Yes, and a chromo, too.”
She nibbled at a prune ; knit her brow,
and finally asked :
44 Don't you give a cash premium with
every pound you sell ?”
44 We do, madam ; you pay ten cents for
a pound of prunes, and get a chromo, a
prize package, and a cash premium of fifty
cents. Shall Ido you up a pound?”
“ Well, it seems as if you wanted to be
fair with your customers,” she slowly re
plied ; 44 but I guess 1 wont take any.
Seems to me ten cents per pound is rather
too much for prunes these times, when
butter is down, and calico is down, and
shoes are awful cheap.”
I'rlutiUK' ami Journal Iwm In I'liinn.
The Chinese printing office is a greater
curiosity than one would think. The al
phabet numbers way into thousands, and
a cap and lower case goes all the way
round the inside of a two story building
and half way up to the roof. It takes
an apprentice twenty years to learn the
case, and then lie has to use a slep-ladder
to get at the highest branches. A case
was pied in Canton, and it took five days
to remove the type from the form of the
foreman. They punctuate wherever they
can drop a dot, without regard to per
spective. When the editor coins a word
the printer whittles out anew character
with his jack knife. The journeymen set
by the square foot, and never belong to a
Union. They do their press work by hand,
and use boxing gloves to ink the type.
They have one paper in the Empire a thou
sand years old, and the bound volumes
half fill a pagoda. It is rumored that Ben
nett has started to edit that venerable pa
per. The editor's head is responsible for
all items published in the paper, and is
taken off whenever an article of new. is
published. Not an editor has been be
headed in China for the last 500 years.
The Chinese have just invented a twenty
five cylinder press for printing tea chests,
with which they are able to print one a
week.
A \Vorl to tillrlM.
Girls listen to this, and with a virtuous
resolve demand, as your right, a pure love:
Young men of bad habits and fast ten
dencies never like to marry a girl of their
own sort but demand a w ife above suspi
cion. So pure, sweet women keep from
the touch of evil through girlhood, give
themselves, with all their costly dower of
womanhood, into the keeping of men who,
in base association, have learned to under
value all that belongs to them, and then
find no repentence in the sail after years.
There is but one way out of this, and
that is for you to require in associations
and marriages, purity for purity, sobriety
for sobriety, honor for honor.
There is no reason why the young men
of this land should not be just as virtuous
as young women, and if tiie loss of your
society be the price they are favored to pay
for vice, they w ill not pay it.
This is plain sensible talk, and justsuch
as ought to be heeded by all our boys and
girls, till the much needed reformation is
established. Too much of the happiness
or misery of our children depends on this
for it to pass without producing deep re
flection and action in the matter in the
right direction.
I.ct ('* be Just mi<l Kind to All !
The admirable address of Gen. McGowan
at Abbeville, recently, was full of deep
thought dad in noble words, as the follow
ing brief extract will show :
“ We promised to put an end to race an
imosities. We have complained that strang
ers and carpet-baggers have divided our
people on the color line, and alienated one
portion of our citizens from the other, and
the complaint was well founded. Let us
be just and kind to all. I.ct us, in this re
spect, not follow the example of our op
ponents; hut teach them a lesson of gen
erosity which they have not known, and
make even them rejoice that they were de
feated ; that we succeeded to the govern
ment. and that all now will get exact jus
tice hefore the law. This Hampton has
promised. This is in accordance with hu
manity and good feeling. This we will do.
and I predict that before these buds, which
are now just beginning to swell and hurst,
shall have grown into leaves and fallen by
the autumn blast, we will, indeed, be a
united people, “ one and inseparable.”
We will then have crossed the river, and
we will rest in the shade on the other side
of Jordan.
FUNNY SAYINGS AND DOINGS.
Love- a little sighing, a little crying, a
little dying, and lots of lying.
A mail writes to an editor for four dol
lars, “ because he is terribly short,” and
gets in reply the heartless response : 44 Do
as 1 do —stand upon a chair.”
44 That's what I call a finished sermon,”
remarked a man as he was coming out of
church. 44 Yes finished at last." replied
his neighbor, 44 though I began to think it
would never be.”
44 Do you understand the nature of an
oath?” a juryman was asked in a St.
Louis court-room. 44 Of course I do,” was
the reply. 44 Do you mistake me for a
member of the Electoral Commission?"
A young lady dropped her handkerchief
on the street recently, and it blew close to
the dangerous end of a mule. The young
man who picked it up will not send her his
photo for several days, as he does not look
well with his chin under his ear.
44 No,” said the smart boy-baby, when
the pretty young woman wanted to kiss
him. 44 But why not?” asked she. "<),
I'm too little to kiss you; papa will kiss
you; papa kisses all the lug girls.” He
was permitted to play with his toys.
Norwich Bulletin : The Rev. Joseph
Cook rather unnecessarily asks, 44 What
becomes of the wicked?” Mr. (’ook, we
thought, had been in New England long
enough to know that usually they practice
law for a while and eventually go to the
Legislature.
If there is anything that will make a wo
man fighting mad, and make her want to
ptdl the last hair out of your head, it is to
intimate that her butter is not nice, and
that her children nrc ugly. We knew a
man to try it once. He didn't have a fu
neral, but he might as well have had.
44 You have been here a long time, i
suppose?” said a traveler to an old hunter
in Oregon. 44 You may swear 1 have,” and
then pointing out to Mount Hood, he con
tinued : 44 You see that mountain there?
Well, sir, when I first came to this country
thnt mountain was a hole in the ground.”
The ground is bare in spots, and ents
may be planted to advantage. You cannot
plant cats any too early, nor is it possible
to get too many of them in a bill. You
may not raise anything where the cat is
planted, but the cat will not raise anything
either, and that is where the enormous
profit comes in.
NUMBER ;)6.
Taxes, How Returned.
Banks, Railroads, Insurance and Ex
press Companies make their returns to
the Comptroller General, all other per
sons or companies taxed, must make re
turns to the receiver of the county of resi
dence, except mining companies aud per
sons who cultivate land in counties not
their residence.
Property belonging to non residents
must be returned in the county where tho
property is situated.
When a tax payer makes false returns
to the Receiver under oath it is perjury.
It is the privilege of any tax payer in
the county to complain to the Receiver if
others have not fairly valued their prop
erty.
Defaulters, that is those who do not make
their returns within the time prescribed by
law, are doubled taxed. Estates belonging
to persons who die before the time for as
sessing expires are not subject to double
tax.
Receivers are subject to be punished for
willfully making false entries in their di
gest.
It is the Receiver’s duty to carefully scru
tinize each return and see that it is reason
able and at a fair valuation.
Now is flic time of the year for amnteur
agricultural editors to indulge in advice
suited to the season. One in a neighbor
ing city, who has a window garden three
feet long and fifteen inches wide, says it is
time to whitewash hoe handles, trim your
clothes line, transplant your coal scuttles,
and bury your grindstone to prevent it
from freezing. Yearling calves should bo
shod, and hen’s nails pared at once.
He was praising her beautiful hair, ami
begging her for one tiny curl, when her lit
tle brother said, O, my’tain’t nothin’ now.
You just ought to have seen how long it
hangs down when she hangs it on the table
to comb it.” Then she laughed, and she
called her brother a cute little angel, and
when that young man was going away and
heard that boy yelling, he thought the lad
was taken suddenly and dangerously ill.
In a prominent interior city a professor
of physics was given a deeply learned lec
ture on light, with experiments of a most
convenient nature. At the end of the dis
course the professor, addressing with a
triumphant air bis audience, exclaims : It
seems to me that a demonstration like that
is worth something ,” “ Let’s get cout.”
says an economical backwoodsman to his
son. “They air a gwinc to take up a col
lection.”
A lady in Springfield had been talking
with her little girl about a death in the
neighborhood, and about good children go
ing to heaven, when bright eyes said :
“ Mamma, shall we have clothes ready for
us in heaven?” and the mother replied in
the affirmative. The little one went away
again to her play, but soon came back in a
thoughtful mood with, “ Well, mamma, 1
guess I'll take my trunk of clothes along,
to make sure ?”
In a Nevada gambling saloon two fel
lows got into a row, when one of the com
batants pulled out an old-fashioned Allen
pepper-box and commenced to shoot.
That kind of a shooter is seldom accurate,
and it happened that a bystander was hit
by one of the bullets. The hall cut the
skin over the eye and ranged around to the
left temple. With some impatience the
wounded man worked the bullet out of the
hole where it went in. Throwing it back
at the man who was shooting, he said :
“I lold that cussed gun up ; you’ll put some
body’s eye out, first thing you know.”