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BILL ARl' OS FARMING, ETC.
Atlanta Constitution.
Kditvks Constitution : The air is
hot ami dry. The branches are gettin’
low. The corn is curling in the blades.
The mills grind a little in the morning
and then wait for the pond to fill. 'Hie
locust is singin’ a parchin’ tune. Sum
mer flies keeps the cows’ tails busy,
and all nature gives sign of a coinin’
drought. I don't like this, but am try-
in’ to be resigned. Before I turned
farmer such weather dident concern me
much if I could find a cool retreat, but
now I realize how dependent is mankind
upon the farm, and the farmer upon
Providence. The truth is, its a preca
rious business all around, and I some
times catch myself a wiskin’ I was rich
or had a sorter of side-show to my cir
cus.
A sorry farmer on a sorry farm is a
sorry spectacle. A good farmer on
poor land and a poor farmer on good
land are purty well balanced, and can
scratch along if the seasons hit; but I
reckon a smart and diligent man with
good land to back him is about as se
cure against the shiftin’ perils of this
life as anybody can be ; aud then if a
man could have besides a few thousand
dollars invested in stocks and draw the
intrust twice a year he ought to be as
happy as subloonary things can make
him. Then you see he could send off
his children to school, and visit his kin.
and go to Atlanta, and keep a cook aud
a top buggy, and lay in some chaney
ware and a carpet for the old Oman and
new bonnets and red ear rings for the
girls and have a little missionary money
left. If the drought or the army worm
or the caterpillar come along he would
have something to fall back on and
make him always feel calm and sereen.
I think I would like that—wouldent
you, and I reckon there aint no harm
in prayin for it as Agor did when he
said “ give me neither poverty or
riches.” Most every aspirin man I
know of in the towns and cities is
lookin forward to this blessed state.
They work and toil and twist and dodge
in and dodge out and do a thousand
little things they are sorter ashamed of,
with a view at the last of settling down
on some good farm with creeks and
springs and meadows and mills and
c!Utie, and winclln up a pcrplexin
fe in peace with mankind and commun
non with honest nature. No ambitious
ptian becomes lost to such pleasant
as these, and the more trouble
l ®e has the more he longs for it, for its
rf
j.bout the fittenest way I know ol to
„epent and make preparation for shuff
ving off this mortal coil. But to all
lsuch the outside investment is highly
Viecessary. Even Beecher couldent get
( along without it—for there are a thou
‘sand little leaks in farmin that a man
.without experience can’t stop and with
out capital can’t remedy. Why only
this mornin one of my boys was drivin
across a bridge and the mule Joe got
skeered at his shadder and shoved Tom
over on the hand rail and it broke, and
he fell in the creek and dragged Joe
with him and the wagon too and broke
the tongue all to pieces, and the houns
und the haims and the harness and the
sjriver, and both the mules set into
T’ickin with the front end of the wagon
”n top of em, and the hind end up on
*ie bridge and you could have heard
racket for two miles without a tele
tpne, and the girls ran and screamed
and the old oman fainted every step of
„he way, for she said she knowed Paul
was killed as he fell, and kicked to
deth by the imries and drowned after
wards, and it took two hours to clear
the wreck, restore the wounded and
passify the women and get everything
once more calm and sereen. Now, you
see, Mr. Editor, there’s some unforseen
damages to pay and nobody to pay em,
and all we can do is to charge it up to
the mule. Ido think that we farmers
ought to have some protection agin the
like of this, and I want Luster to in
troduce a bill the next session, for
they’ve been protectin northern manu
factures for 75 years and neglecting
agriculture, which is the very subsile of
a nation’s prosperity, Whar, sur—
wliar would the nation be if all we
farmers was to strike for higher wages
and do nothin for a single year ? Echo
answers wliar ? We must have better
prices for our truok, calico has come
down about right, but sugar and coffee
and rice and tobacco and shoes and
taxes and workin the roads is the same
old holes purty much, and we can’t
keep even with cotton at 8 cent3 and
corn at 30, and no market at all for po
tatoes and ' eans and horse apples and
tomatoe id sich. I wonder if our
who can save a State could
not fix up an arrangement that would
VOL. II—NO. 49.
give everybody a good price for what
they had to sell and put everything
down low that we had to buy. and then
abolish taxes and work the roads with
the chain gang, and let the bell punch
run the government. Such a law would
give universal satisfaction and immor
talize its author. If anybody can fix
it up I know that Luster can. We
want it for this congressional district
anyhow, for we are now takin’ silver at
par and speudin’ it at 95 cents in the
dollar, and nobody knows who done it
or how it come so. There's sometnin’
wrong about that silver bill shore, and
Luster juust rectify it next December.
I know he cau do it. I thought they
was a braggin’ that they had made sil
ver as good as gold, but its worse than
greenbacks, and when I hear men
boastin that they done more than any
body else to pass it, I think they ought
to come forward and pay the discount.
Don't you ? Silver has been the stand
ard ever since the Queen of Sheba
traded with Solomon, and it oughtent
to be dishonored now just to please a
lew bankers and capitalists who are
gittin’ so much of it they have to haul
it about in wagons and pay freight and
damage. We farmers can tote about
all we get hold of without inconven
ience, and it looks a heap more like
good money than greenbacks, which are
continual reminders of the war debt
and pensions to yankee soldiers and
noil-taxable bonds and the shoddy aris
tocracy who get rich off of our misfor
tunes. When we git in a democratic
congress I want the whole green con
cern abolished, and if the government
issues any paper money at all we will
start anew with confederate grey.
Yours, Bill A up.
P. S.—lt’s reported up at Pine Log
that Luster is a yaukey, and his
arm was shot otr while fighting for the
Otiifef side. That wild hog nigger Is a
yellin’ for him. B. A.
Tim’s Kit.
Detroit Free Dress.
It surprised the shiners and news
boys around the Post Office the other
day to see “ Limpy Tim ” coma among
them in a quiet way, and to hear him
say:
“ Boys, I want to sell my kit. Here’s
two brushes, a hull box of blacking, a
good stout box, and the outfit goes for
two shillin’s !”
“Goin’ away, Tim ?” queried one.
“ Not ’zactlj-, boys, but I want a
quarter the awfullest kind, just now.”
“ Goin’ on a ’scursion ?” asked an
other.
“ Not to-day, but I must have a 25
cents,” he answered.
One of the lads passed over the
change and took the kit, and Tim went
straight to the counting room of a
daily" paper, put down his money, and
said :
“ I guess I kin write it if you’ll give
me a pencil.”
With slow-moving fingers he wrote a
death notice. It went into the paper
almost as he wrote it, but you might
not have seen it. He wrote :
Died—Litul Ted—of scarlet fever ; niged
three jreres. Funeral to-rnorror,, gon up
to Ilevin ; left won bruther.
“ Was it your brother ?” asked the
cashier.
Tim tried to brace up, but he could
not. The big tears came up, his Chin
quivered, and he pointed to the notice
on the counter and gasped :
“ I —l had to sell my kit to do it,
b—but he had his arms aroun’ my neck
when he d-t-died!”
He hurried away home, but the news
went to the boys, and they gathered in
a group and talked. Tim had not been
home an hour before a barefooted boy
lett the kit on the doorstep, and in the
box was a bouquet of flowers, which
had been purchased in the market by
pennies contributed by the crowd of
ragged, but big-hearted urchins. Did
God ever make a heart which would
not respond if the right chord was
touched ?
Drunkards grow from moderate drinkers,
and moderate drinkers from the untaught
or wrongly educated children of our homes.
There is a point whore the stop can be put
on, and that is in the home. Every parent
is responsible for the intemperance of his
child, if he has not, by example and pre
cept, done everything possible to prevent
it.
Good Advice.
For The Hartwell Sim.
Messrs. Editors : In your columns
a week or two since, was an article by
j “ D. C. A.,” in which he urges young
1 men to prompt and immediate study.
I The article is good. The advice is ex
| cellcnt,' and youngsters Cannot do bet
ter than to take his advice. While
reading his article, we thought of a
field of corn we once saw. The ground
was blessed with a rich soil, and the
greater part of the field had been well
cultivated, and quite a luxuriant crop
jgrew on it. One corner containing an
acre or so, for some reason, I know not
what, had never been touched siuco it
was planted, and although the best land
in the field, the com was small, yellow
and spindling and was utterly worth
less. One thousand such acres could
not have produced a pint of corn.
Now, apply this to youngsters, and
mark the result. Those with a tolera
bly good mind who cultivate it well
will reap a golden harvest of knowledge
—will be a blessing to the community
—a lighthouse on the stormy ocean's
shore—a pillar in the Church—a re
spectable class in society—and an
honor to their parents and country.
Those who fail to improve their time
will grow up to be idle. They cannot
read to keep them company, and will
almost universally become tattlers.
Well, almost all who tattle will lie;
and all liars are dangerous in a com
munity, and are promised a recompense
that they will be sorry to receive. One
who cannot read knows scarcely any
thing of the woMd lie lives in. Many
that can read know little enough ; but
they that cannot know much less. A
man without any education is entirely
dependent on others to attend to his
concerns, when anything of moment is
at stake; and he knows not whether
he is employing an honest man or not.
One knows not how to cast his vote un
less he can read for himself, lie may
vote for his most bitter political enemy
and not know it. He may break the
laws of the land in a hundred instances,
without being aware of it. What is
worse than all else, he is apt to raise a
family of children as ignorant and as
base as he himself. Young man, you
had better take the advice of friends
and study well, and make the most of
your time, for it is short.
Junto La nit y.
A Alight) Mean Man.
Viiginia City Chronicle.
“ Speaking of gall,” remarked an
Eastern printer last evening in a C.
street beer saloon, “ talking of solid
cheek, I never saw a man who had more
of it than Pete Blivens, of Kansas
City. Three of us used to room to
gether there in 1872. One night in
July—it was so hot that if you’d chuck
water on the side of a house it would
sizz like so much hot iron—we conclud
ed to go down and sleep on one of the
timber rafts on the river. Well, we
got on the raft with our blankets. Just
before turning in Pete Blivens said he
guessed he’d cool off by taking a swim.
I knew the current would snatch him
right under, but didn’t want to give
him any advice and he dived off the
end of the raft. The undertow caught
and sent him out of sight in about two
seconds. As soon as we saw that he
was drowned me and the other chap
went for his effects. We found $8.50
in his pants pocket, and an old watch.
We took ’em up town and sold the
clothes for $0 and the watch for sl2.
Then we went ’round town on a sort of
a jamboree and spent the money.
About 5 o’clock in the morning we were
drinking up the last dollar with some
of the boys at the Blue Corner, when
who should walk in but Pete himself in
an old suit of clothes that he’d bor
rowed off a man three miles down the
river. And hang me if he didn’t de
mand his clothes, and the next day he
was ’round dunning us for the paltry
sum of $8.50. The gall of some men’s
enough to paralyze a Louisiana alliga
tor.
The first thing a wife does now when
her husband dies, is to run over to his
office and inquire of the clerk in smoth
ered tones: “ How much insurance did
the old man have on his life? And was
the la-;t premium paid?”
H.VRTWELL, GA., WEDNESDAY, .IDLY 91, 1878,
FOR THE YOUNG FOLKS.
A Pert Chirk.
Harper's Bazar.
Old Cluck was a Cochin China hen,
and lived with her brood in a nice coop
a litile apart from the barnyard. Cluck
was a dear old hen, very kind to her
chickens, and very pretty chickens she
had. These were Tee-Tee, and Wco-Woe
and Tu-Tu, and Twit-See, and Ghce-
ChK\ and Peep-Weep, whom they call
ed J’cep for short—six in all —six well
meaning chickens, although they had
their little faults. Peep's fault was
pertness. lie was always answering
back to his mother and saying sharp
thiags. He wasn’t a bit afraid of his
brdthers and sisters, and thought it a
joke to tell Tee-Teo she was “ a fluffy lit
tle fool,” or call Tu-Tu “ ayounggoose."
And when Tu-Tu would ruffle his pin
feathers and show he was a game little
chciken, and not a goose at all, old
ClVSck would say Peep was only witty,
and liked to talk, but meant no harm,
anther chickens must not fight. Peep
was always the last to come under Cluck’s
wing to bed at night. 11c would play
about and say, “J won’t goto bed,” and
even cry out to his mamma, in a saucy
way, ‘‘Go to bed yourself, Mrs. Cluck.”
“Oh, how naughty, Peep!” Cluck
would say, hut she uever stopped his
nimble tongue, She couldn't bear to
scold or punish him, for she loved the
bright little fellow. His feathers were
getting quite long and glossy now, and
he was growing tall.
At meal-times Peep had a way of
pecking at his brothers and sisters, and
while he ate as much as anybody else,
he called them all pigs, and laughed at
them.
A hist, when old Cluck told him,
quite gravely, that a good chick must
mind his mother, Peep said, “Oh, go
a 'sab ! mothers don’t par,” in a man
ner that was very naughty ; but Cluck
found it so bright and clever for such a
fledgeling. Peep had his own will in his
family. He said and did whatever he
liked, and grew quite big and handsome,
and thought himself the finest fellow in
the world.
Well, one day Peep kept running far
away from the coop, and his mother was
afraid some of the barn-yard fowls would
hurt him, so she called him back.
“ Don’t you fuss,” said Peep; I’m go
ing to take a walk;” and he looked so
bright, and spoke up so sharp and fun
ny, that Cluck was quite lost in admir
ing his wnys and his line tail feathers,
proudly waving as he strutted off,
“Surely,” she thought, “if they see
him in the barn-yard, all the hens will
envy me such a clever chick.”
To the barn-yard Peep went, and be
gan scratching about for his lunch with
the rest of the fowls. Pretty soon an
old bird gave a crow that was really a
fine, loud noise, and sounded far and
w ide over the fields.
“I can do as well as that, and better
too, old chap,” said Peep. Now Peep
knew he couldn’t, but he had a way of
saying pert things.
To his wonder nobody laughed ; but a
big hen—the crower’s wife—said, “ Can
you, indeed, do as well? Let us hear
you.”
She looked quite fierce at him, not a
bit liko fond, good old Cluck, and all
the fowls gathered around Peep.
“ Pooh !” said he, “ I don’t want to.
but I can.” Htill nobody seemed to ad
mire him, but instead, said the old roost
er:
“ You can brag, young fellow ; but
you shall show what sort of a crow you
have, or I’ll peck you to death.”
Peep was very much scared, and tried
his first crow. It was such a feeble, fool
ish noise that all the hens and roosters,
and even the turkey-gobblers and ducks
and guinea-hens and pigeons, laughed
at him and despised him.
Peep was not daunted yet, but he
strutted off among the young fowls. lie
struck right and left with his bill, as he
did at home; he laughed and called them
names, and bragged, and at last a fine,
tall young rooster, as big as himself,
and as handsome, said:
“Come, Mr. Chicken, I don’t like
your airs.”
“ You don’t amount to anything,”
said Peep, just as he had spoke to his
mother.
‘‘Don't I!” said the young rooster;
u U
WHOLE NO. 101.
| and before Peep know what he was
about the stranger had strewn a fine tail
of feathers, poor Cluck’s pride, all over
the ground. Peep was struggling iu
vain ; theyonngrooster peeked and peek
ed till the blood came. One of Peep’s
eyes was gone, one log was useless, and
not until lie lay quite still and fairly
beaten did the enemy hold off.
“Over Peep’s body the fowls all said,
“ It served him right for his impudence."
After a while Peep hopped home very
feebly on one log, and lay down quite
humbly under old Cluck's wing.
“ Where has iny poor Peep been?"
asked Cluck, with the tears running
down her bill.
“ Been out in the world, mother," said
Peep.
“ And didn’t the world admire you?”
“Not a bit. Oh, my little brothers
and sisters," said poor Peep. “Chicks
must not be pert and rude and unkind
at home uinong their friends, for when
they carry the habit into tlm world with
them they meet their match and come
to griefand Peep kicked once with
his one leg, rolled up his one eye, and
—died.
All this happened in the land of
Cochin China. Of course there are no
pert chickens in our country.
Don’t Like ’Em.
Detroit Free Dress.
Little English the shiner worked in
with a Sunday school excursion the
other day, and there was a look of aw
ful disgust on his face as he came into
this oillce yesterday to relate his expe
rience.
“In the fust place," lie began, “ I
sot down on two cheers on the bow of
the boat, an’ I was gittin’ aluvly breeze
right between the eyes ’ when along
comes one o’ them kind-eyed deacons
an’ sez he: ‘ Now, my dear hangel, yon
git up’n fly right smart!’ I had ter
cave, an’ he took one o’ the cheers an’
a fat woman tuk the other. I was
si id in’ along fur a stool when a big
good boy what kin learn ten verses for
Sunday skule grabbed me by this ’ere
hair an’ calls out that the wicked shell
not live out half their days, an’ he sot
down on my stool. Then I went down
among the good children. One of ’em
offered to fight me three strings for a
cent, another hooked my sandwiches,
and a boy with lots of good clothes on
him said my presence on that side of
the boat oppressed the hatmosfere. If
I slid inter the cabin the teachers slid
me out. If went haft the women spit
on their handkerchiefs an’ wanted to
wipe off my chin. If I went, for’d the
good boys hit me in the eye with pea
nuts an’ said they’d like to make me
climb for low wages an’ poor pay'.”
“ Well, stir,” lie went on, after tak
ing breath, “ when we got to Sugar
Island there wasn't a bit of sugar there.
It was the deadest give-away you ever
seed. Everybody got a tree of his own,
while I had to walk around in the sun.
One feiler axed me under his tree to sit
down on a thistle but I didn't tumble.
I didn’t git nuthin’ to eat but one pic
kle an<l two drinks of water, an’ afore
we left the island a drove of good boys
slid down on me and rushed me over a
fence an’ through half an acre of briars,
an’ a feller picked up my lost revolver
an’ chucked it into his pocket for loot.
I got a cinder in my eye coinin’ home j
had three fights an’ got licked, and
when we reached the wharf a hackman
pulled my hair an’ said he could see
my hangel wings sproutin’ out. You’d
orter say in your paper for all good
boot-blacks to stay to hum an’ let these
’ere Sunday skule ’scursions go right
to destruction.”
Fruit this season is cheap and of ex
cellent quality. Those who partake of
it plentifully will find the effect upon
the system salutary in the highest degree.
Families that make fruit a principal por
tion of their diet, are almost invariably
healthy.
“ I)o you not like to go to church?”
said a lady to Mrs. Partington. “ Noth
ing docs ine so much good as to get up
early on Sunday morning, and go out
to church and hear a popular minister
disperv 3 with the gospel.”
It is a well-known fact that people get
wisdom by experience. “ A man,” says
.Jones, “ never wakes up his second baby
to sec it laugh.”
OLD HICKORY.
Andrew * Dncr and Prat
tlcal Joker--. 1 Morj from Tenneaaon.
Philadelphia Press.
Colonel .John 13. Brownlow, in a friend
ly letter to tho editor of the Press, con
tributes the following rntherapocryphal
reminiscence of Andrew Jackson. We
may remark, for instance, that “Old
Hickory” was hardly the man toquoto
a Latin phrase in a backwoods cabin.
The contribution is interesting, however,
as showing the class of legends which is
current at this day in Tennessee, and
which keeps there the memory of the
old hero fresh.
In the days of our fathers there lived
in Virginia an old planter, Major Han
ley, who was an oddity in his way. Some
said he was crazy, while others declared
that only an inordinate love of fun gave
rise to his quaint doings. He might be
called a practical joker, and it was said
he never allowed a stranger to come and
go without playing upon him one or
more of his ridiculous tricks.
One chilly, drizzling autumnal eve
ning, a horseman pulled up at the Ma
jor's door, and requested hospitality for
the night. He had wandered from his
way, and it was now too late to rectify
his mistake.
Ho was warmly welcomed, and when
his horse had been taken in charge by a
competent servent, and his saddle.bags
removed, ho was ushered into a great
living-room w here a cheerful fire blazed
in the enormous fire-place, and where
candles were lighted. The major was a
large, strongly-built man, ofiniddlc-age,
bald-headed, rather red in the face, and
w ith an eye deep-set and twinkling.
The guest also was of middle-age, t&ll
and spare, but compnet and muscular,
with features of a decided leonine cast,
strongly marked, heavy brows, and a
shock of thick, crisp hair, that stood up
on his large head like the mane of a
lion.
Supper was announced, and after that
the evening passed on pleasantly. As
tho clock struck nine the host arose and
excused himself for a few minutes. As
lie returned he was accompanied by a
negro, who carried a huge fiddle in his
hand. The Major then told the guest
that it was his custom always to have\
little entertainment before retiring, and
looking him over said:
“You look like a man that could
dance well, and Jake is a fine fiddler."
The Major had a large horse pistol in
his hand, which he handled carelessly.
The guest told the Major that he could
not dance, and had never tried to do so
since he was a youth. But the Major
pointed the pistol ut him and told him
he must dance or he would have toshoot
him, and turning to the negro, said :
“ Play up Jake.”
The guest, thinking that his landlord
was crazy, thought that it would be best
to humor him, and that perhups a chance
would present itself for him to get even.
He danced and the frightened negro fid
dled uutil he was pretty tired and stop
ped.
Just then a negro came to tho door
and told the Major that somebody want
ed to see him. Ile laid the pistol on the
table and went out. Our traveler took
up the pistol, looked at it, and as ho
half suspected, found it was not loaded.
He had some ammunition in his pocket,
as luck would have it; and calling the
negro to witness, loaded it with powder
and ball. Presently the Major return
ed, and the traveler, turning to him,
said:
“ 1 have been looking at your pistol,
which I find to bo all right with butono
defect; this I have remedied, as this ne
gro can testify, and it is now heavily
loaded. We will continue the enter
tainment by your giving ns the best jig
you can put up. Play up Jake.” And
pointing the pistol at the affrighted Ma
jor, he continued, “ And by the eternal,
it you stop before I toll you I will blow
a hole through your legs if not your
body.” The Major did dance with all
might, and every time lie would show
symptoms of lagging the wave of the
pistol in his face would spur him up to
renewed energy. At last, after he was
completely exhausted, and the perspira
tion was streaming from every pore, the
guest stepped to the fire-place and fired
the pistol up the chimney. The negro
by this time had managed to whisper in
the Major’s ear:
“ Massa, dat is Gineral Jackson sho’ !”
This frightened the Major still more ;
but “ Old Hickory ” soon reassured him
by clasping his baud, aud with a hearty
laugh, told him to bring out something to
wash down the joke, and the pair passed
a jolly night in, mutual good fellowship.
A bachelor editor, who had a protty un
married sister, lately wrote lo one similar
ly circumstanced, ” Please exchange.”