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THAT CHECKER-BOARD.
Detroit Free Prett,
Up to three evenings ago such n thing
as a checker-board was never known in
Mr. Grattan’s house. He and his good
partner have managed to pass ihe long
evenings very pleasantly, and he sup
posed they were happy enough until a
friend from the East payed them a fly
ing visit and asserted over and over
again that the game of checkers was not
only all the rage there, hut that it served
to quicken the perceptive faculties, en
large the mind and render the brain
more active. After giving the subject
due thought, Mr. Grattan walked down
town and purchased a checker-board,
and when evening came he surprised his
good wife by bringing it from the wood
shed and saving:
“ Well, Martha, we'll have a game or
two before we go over to the social. I
expect to beat you all to flinders, but
you won’t care.”
“Of course not, and if I beat you,
why you won’t care,” she replied.
They sat down, and he claimed the
first move. >She nt once objected, but
when he began to grow red in the face
she yielded and he led off. At the fourth
move she took a man, chuckling as she
raked him in.
“ I don’t see anything to grin at,” he
sneered as he moved a man backwards.
“ Here, you can’t move that way!”
she called out.
“I can’t eh? Perhaps I never play
ed checkers before you were bom !”
She saw a chance to jump two more
men and gave in the point, but as she
moved he cried out:
“Put them men right back there! I
have concluded not to move backwards,
even if Hoyle does permit it!”
Shegave iu again, butwhen he jump
ed a man her nose grew red and she
cried out:
“ I didn’t mean to move there; I was
thinking of the social!”
“Can’t help the social, Martha—we
must go by Hoyle.”
Iu about two minutes she jumped two
men and went into the king row shout
ing :
“ Crown him ! crown him ! I’ve got
a king!”
“One would think by your childish
actions that you had never played a
game before!” he growled out.
“I know enough to beat you !”
“You do, eh? Some folks are awful
smart!”
“And sonic folks ain’t!” she snapped,
as her king captured another man.
“ What in the thunder are you jump
ing that way for?”
“ A king can jump any way!”
“ No he can’t!”
“ Y*es he can !”
“ Don’t talk back to me, Martha Grat
tan! I was playing checkers when you
were in your cradle !”
“ I don't care! I can jump two men
whichever way you move !”
He looked down on the board, saw
that such was the case, and roared out;
“ You’ve moved twice to my once !”
“I haven’t!”
“ I’ll take my oath you have! I can’t
play against any such black-leg prac
tices !”
“ Who's a black-leg:! You not only
cheated, but tried to lie out of it!”
Board and checkers fell between
them. He could get on his hat quicker
than she could find her bonnet, and that
was the only reason why he got out of
of the house first. A Woodward ave
nue grocer found him sitting on a bas
ket of cranberries at the door as he w'as
closing up for the night, and asked him
if he was waiting for his wife to come
along.
“ Well not exactly ; I stopped here
to feel in my pocket for the key of the
barn. I shall sleep on the hay to-night
and see if it won’t cure this cold in iny
head.”
Essentials to Christianity.
Editor's Table, Sunday Afternoon for April.
And when all is said, what a diminu
tive notion these Boston saints must have,
of the ideal of Christian manhood. The
typical Christian in their estimation is a
man who does not smoke nor drink wine,
nor go to the theater nor dance, nor play
at cards. When they have found a man
who does none of these things they have
found their model. Not only is their
“consecration” wholly a negative thing,
it is limited to the pettiest negations.
Just think of it brethren! You can
keep this solemn five-fold pledge of yours
with all fidelity, and yet break every one
of the ten commandments. Very likely
some of you are breaking a good share
of them every day you live. “We do
desire and will Consecrate ourselves bv
putting away evert/ conscious evil within
us,” you say. And then you go on to
particularize the evils that you will put
away, and the only ones that your minds
rest upon are those five mentioned above,
to not one of which, probably, you are
or ever were addicted. These are other
people's sins, not yours. When you had
written down this catalogue, and mailed
all these circulars, did you not go up
to the temple and stand and pray thus
with yourselves : “ Lord we thank thee
that we are not as other men are? ’ In
all sincerity, brethren,if you had really
wanted to consecrate yourselves, “ by
putting away every conscious evil, do
you not suppose that you would have
found some sins of your own to put away,
far more heinous than any of these?
Have you no other gods before Jeho
vah? Your money, your family, your
ambitions—do you not exalt them above
him? Home sectarians put their sects
before Jehovah. Men whom they can
not deny to be workers with God they
will not suffer to work for their sect.
Is there no “consciousevil” of this sort
VOL. Ill—NO. 31.
for you to put away?
I)oyou not sometimes steal? Cheat
ing is stealing. Do yotv not sometimes
kill? Hatred is murder. And many a
man who has been as rigid us you are in
the keeping of your five commandments,
has been so hard and merciless in his
treatment of his work-people, that they
or their children have died by slow starv
ation. Are there no sins of extortion
for you to repent of? In your heart are
there no lurking demons of impure de
sire? Do you never bear false witness
against your neighbors—never speak un
fair and censorious words, for example,
about those who dance, or smoke, or piny
cards? Do not envy and jealousy and
wrath and uncharitableness still find a
home in your hearts. If all or any of
these things are true of you, then it would
seem that you have business on hand so
urgentthnt it might well detain you from
preaching a crusade against cards and
dancing. Solemnly, now, are not the
sins that you are inclined to a great deal
worse than these vou meution, which you
have no mind to?
“ The World Am all a Sham.”
Detroit Free Pres*.
“Geu’lem,” said Brother Gardner as ’
he laid down his stick of liquorice and
stood up, “I war ober to de widder
Smith’s de odder eaveuin, and to see if
she would lend my ole woman her wash
board next day, an, de widder she spoke
up an’said, ‘Misser Gardner, dis world
am all a sham.’ I war in de corner
grocery, de nex’ day, an’ de grocer be
hove a sigh as big as my fist as he lean
ed ober de counter and said: ‘Misser,
Gardner, dis world am all a sham.’ I
was blackin’ a stove for de doctah down
on de co’ner below dat same day, an, i
when I got frew wid de job lie dropped :
a quarter inter my band, and softly !
whispered ‘ Brudder Gardner, dis world
am all a sham.’ Now. gen’lem, all dat
talk am cl’ar bosh, De world am all
right. Who says de hoes am a sham?
Who says de cow an’ mule an’ dog an'
cat am shams? De man who falls down
finds solid bizness. De man who buys
codfish doau’ get mutton chops. When
I ax for kaliker dey doan’ gin me silk.
Once in a while we may trow a boot
jack at a cat an’ bit nuffiu’ but an asli
barrel, but de world ingineral am plenty
good uuff, for de kind of people who
put in der time heah. De man who
scratches his back agin de City Hall will
tell you dat de world am all a sham.
Dc chap whose wife supports him by
wnsliiu’ an’ sewin’ feels dat de world am
a sham all ober. De noodle-bead who
sots out to captur’ de public wid a little
head an’ a good deal of brass is no soon-
er stepped on dan he cries out “sham”
till ye can’t rest. I doan’ want ’o heah
dat spreshun aroun’ heah, kase it won t
go down wid men who work ten hours an’
pay deir honest debts.”
Kissing the Blarney Stone by Proxy.
Some time since one of the brightiest
and wittiest of Georgia’s girls went
abroad, and when she returned home
about the first person to congratulate
her upon her return was , a young
blood of the city, whose dollars exceed
ed his sense in the rate of about one
hundred to one.
“Aw, Miss X—“permit me to
greet you. 1 know you have had a very
pleasant trip abroad.”
“ Yes,” she answered, “ very 7 pleasant
indeed. I was all over the Continent
and through England, Scotland and Ire
land.”
“ Ah, in Ireland; and did you see
the Blarney stone ?”
“ Yes, I was there.”
“Oh, I should so delight to see it;
it has always been a desire of mine to
kiss that celebrated stone, but I have
never had the opportunity.”
“ Indeed ! Then you should go there.”
“ I know 7 , but I have not done so;
but why can't I kiss it by proxy ? You
have been there and kissed it; why
should I not take the influence of Blar
ney from your lips ? And the smart
Aleck stepped forward to proxify the
young lady. But she drew back and,
looking him full in the face, said: “I
beg pardon, my dear Mr. B —, but I
sat upon the Blarney stone.”
Bike a man of great sorrow, he sank
in a great heap, and hasn t seen Ireland
since, and the word blarney makes him
delirious.
A certain resident of North Adams,
Mass., recently buried his wife, a wo
man of unusual size, and a few' days
after the sad event a neighbor attempt
ed a little in the consolatory line by re
marking : “ Well, Mr. , you have
met a heavy loss.” “ Yes,” replied the
mourner with a sigh, “ she weighed
’most four hundred pounds !”
Constitution : A Mr. Isaac V. Green,
of Michigan ran away with his wife's
aunt recently. In other words—
Ho ran away with liis njM>ue’ aunt,
Anl never again was seen,
Thus proving anew what a rare old plant
Xm the Michigan I. V. Green.
The Missouri Legislature is so mucli
in earnest to suppress the carrying of
concealed weapons, that it has made it
a finable offense for dealers to loan or
sell minors pistols, knives, slung-shots
or brass-knuckles.
Sol a Hook-Judge.
Aflawfn (Edward Kinq) Corretipoiulenc* to liotton
Journal.
“Old Si” reports many a eonversa
tion between town and country darkeys
which shows that they both possess no
small amount of native wit. And ap
ropos of negro wit and sharpness, I heard
a tale the other day of a Georgia color
ed trial justice which seemed to me worth
repeating. It appears that a white dem
ocratic lawyer was called to plead for
one of his clients before this ebony jus
tice, and, not fancying that the negro
had any mind of his own, prophesied an
easy victory fur himself. So, when it
came his turn to plead, he sent to his li
brary for a very large number of law
books, aud, arranging them on the desk
before him, began to search them and to
turn down leaves in each one. When
he had thus injur ked about two dozen fat
volumes, he’ began bis plea, and from
time to time he would pick up a book
and begin reading an immensely long ex
tract. The colored justice sat blinking
aud showing evident signs of distrust of
his own ability to comprehend, for half
an hour, then suddeuly he said: “ Mas’r
John, is yo —is vo gwiue ter read iu all
dem books dat a-way?”
“Well, your honor,” answered the
lawyer, blandly, “ I wished to call your
attention to a large number of opinions
pertinent to the case.”
“Mas’r John,” continued the sable
trial justice, “ ’pearslike de mo’ ye reads
outn dem books demo' clouded like 1
gits in my min’. Now, Mas'r John, I
reckons dat I better decide dis case onde
equity an’ justice on it. Sojes’ leaf dem
books alone ’a come on at me.”
The lawyer did so, but, in telling the
story next day, he said : “ Blank blank
his equity and judgment. The nigger
decided the case dead against me after
all.”
Evidently the colored justice was de
termined not to be overawed by too copi
ous use of law books.
A Xow Version of .Marco Bozzaris.
At midnight in his guarded tent the
Turk, Mr. Marco Bozzaris, was dream
ing of the hour when Greece should
bend her knee in supplianoe. apologize,
eat humble pie and so forth and so on,
and tremble at his power. In dreams,
or, as we might say, in his mind,
through camp and court ho bore the
trophies of a conqueror. Also in his
mind he bore the monarch’s signet ring
—which cost four dollars and a half—
and pressed that monarch’s throne-—a
king: and thought himself a bigger
man than the Akoond of Swat. How
ever. an hour passed on—the Turk
awoke, he woke to hear his sentries
shriek, “To arms! they come! the
Greek ! the Greek !” This was not all
Greek to Mr. Bozzaris. He knew full
well what it meant, and, springing out
of bed, told the boys to light into them
while he got into his clothes. Then
there was flame and smoke and shout
and groan and sabre-stoke and death
shots falling thick and fast, like light
ning from the mountain cloud, and the
awfulest uproar generally that was ever
heard outside of a country school.
They fought, like brave men, long and
well, and were about to mop up the
ground with the Moslem slain, when
they' heard, with voice as trumpet loud/
Bozzaris cheer his band from behind
the cook-stove in his tent: “Strike —
till the last armed foe expires ! Strike,
for your altars and your fires ! Strike,
for the green graves of your sires, and
I’ll be with you the moment I can get
on these blamed boots !”
Bribed by a Kits.
A tempt ranee lecturer who had been
at work in the towns up the Hudson has
been giving a reporter a page from his
early experience in Michigan. Previous
to his arrival in a small town where he
intended to do some work, the boys had
agreed among themselves to go to the
meeting, but not to sign the pledge. He
appealed in vain for recruits in the tem
perance cause. Not a man would move.
At this stage of the proceedings the belle
of the town sprang to her feet and cried
out: “Boys, this is really too had.
Won’t you sign this pledge?” Not a
soul moved from his seat. Again the
fair belle appealed to the men’s better
nature, but it was of no avail, they had
promised they wouldn’t sign. Finally
the lady said : “ Boys, I'll kiss the first
man who signs the pledge.” At this
juncture up jumped a tall backwoods
man and drawlingly exclaimed : “ Siss.
I’m yer huckleberry. “ Whar’s yer
pledge?” The brave girl kissed the fel
low, and the cheering which followed
made the building rattle. This incident
broke the ice, and before the reformer
had left the town nearly every one had
donned the ribbon.
“ Does prohibition prohibit?” asks an
exchange. We don’t know. Now stand
still while we give you one : Does ap
plication apple? Or, if you want an
easier one to begin on, does emigration
Emma?
Lasting reputations are slow growth.
The man who wakes up famous some
morning is quite apt to go to bed some
night and sleep it all off.
HARTWELL, GA„ WEDNESDAY, APRIL 2 187!).
fAKARIAXCA-IMTO.
Xhr boy lay in bin little Imil,
Though oft liln niotlior called i
"On up ! conio flown to brook font, Fn*d I"
“ Got up !’ hi* father bawled.
Yet quiet and werene lie lay,
An thouuli be beard them not ;
OpowMitn did the youngntrr play.
Though thing.* wen* getting hot.
The time passed on—lit* did not start f
Hut t*ok another nap ;
Hia father uii the stuns did dart,
Aid gave nil floor a rap.
ITe otuml aloud, “Say, Freddie, sav !
Why don’t you leave your bed f' 1
Hut silently >oug Freddie lay,
A* though he were quite dead.
"Sneak, Freddie,” once again he oried,
For I must soon bo gone ;
And “—but a lusty huoio replied—
IVs patience nearly gone.
rp to his face quick ran the blood,
He tore Ids auburn hair,
A moment at the doorway stood
Iu still, yet deop despair,
And shouted 'gnin, with thunderous knock,
“ Young scoundrel, do you hear t
While in the hall loud ticked the clock,
That grated on his ear.
With angry push ho opened tho door.
And slammed it to again ;
With noisy strides across the floor,
To the bed ho walked amain.
Then came a sound like threshing wheat,
Or butcher tendering steak ;
Hear screams ! hear moans! hear scampering fwt!
Ah. Freddie is aw ake.
A ringing bell, a mother’s call,
Mny sometimes rouse a lad ;
But the only mm* thing, after all,
Is a father when he's mud.
For Better or*Worse.
Detroit Free
The old man Bendigo keeps a pretty
sharp eye on his daughter Mary, and
many a would-be lover has taken a walk
after a few minutes' conversation with
the hard-hearted parent. The old c]inp
is stuck this time, however, and cards
are out for a wedding. After the lucky
young man had been sparking Mary for
six mouths, the old gentleman stepped
in as usual, requested a private confab,
and led off with :
“ You seem like a nice young man,
and perhapsyou arc in love with Mary?”
“ Yes, I am,” was the honest reply.
“Haven't said anything to her yet,
have you?”
Well, no ; but I think she recipro
cates my affections.”
“ Does, eh? Well, let me tell you
something. Her mother died a lunatic,
and there is no doubt that Mary has in
herited her insanity.”
“ I’m willing to tnke the chances,"
replied the lover.
“ Yes, hut you see Mary has a terri
ble temper; she has twice drawn a knife
on me with intent to commit murder.”
“I’m used to that —got a sister just
like her,” was the answer.
“ And you should know that I have
sworn a solemn oath not to give Mary a
cent of my property,” continued the
father.
“ Well, I’d rather start in poor and
build up. There's more romance in it.”
The old man had one more shot in his
carbine, and he said :
“ Perhaps I ought to tell you that
Mary’s mother ran away from my home
with a butcher, and that all her relations
died in the poor-house. These things
might be thrown up in after years, and
I now warn you.”
“Mr. Bendigo,” replied the lover, “ I
hove heard all of this before, and also
that you were on trial for forgery, bad
to jump Chicago for bigamy, and served
>a year in the State Prison for cattle-steal
ing. I’m going to marry into your fam
ily to give you a decent reputation !
There—no thanks —good bye!”
Mr. Bendigo looked afta-t the young
man with his mouth wide open, and
when he could get his jaws together he
said :
“ Some infernal hyena has went and
given me away on my own dodge!”
A Colored Voter’s Advice to Brant.
J'alatlca He raid.
After the arrival of Gen. Sherman
in this city on Thursday, one of our
colored men visited him in the Larkin
House parlor, and, extending his hand,
opened fire tlnisly : “ How you is, Gen
eral ?”
“ How are you : how are you ? where
did I first have the pleasure of your
acquaintance?” replied the General,
shaking hands.”
“ Oh, I was wid you down dar at
Shiloh ! I reckon you must hab seed
me, for I was dar.”
“ Who was your officer and what reg
iment were you in ?”
“ Well, now, I don't zac’ly ’member
dat; but I was dar, an* was wid you
up at Columby, Souf Kaliny, too. By
de way, Gen’ral, whar’s Gen’ral Grant?”
“ Ah, be is in Egypt, and is about to
visit Eden !” was the reply.
“Haw, haw, haw! Dat's too good,
too good; but look here. Gen’ral
Grant's a moughty smart man, and we
gemmen of de Souf would like to hab
him for de three term, bub if be gwine
to Edum he better stay dar, for he
rnought nebber git de chance agin.*’
The Rev. Mr. Jasper, of Richmond, !
Virginia, who pins his faith on the no
tion that “the sun do move,” called on
Brother Scrogin to open last Sunday
j evening’s service with prayer, and he
did so, as follows: “O, Lord, we’s a
| mighty abused people ; we’s had a hard
j time in slavery ; we’s been all broken
!to pieces; we’s bow-legged, knock-
WHOLE NO. 135.
kneed, bandy-shanked, cross-eyed, and
a great, many of us hump-backed. Now,
Lord, we want, to he mended up, and we
want you to come an’ do it. Don’t send
an angel, for dis is too big a job for an
angel. You made us, (), Lord, an* you
know our wants, an’ you can fix us up
ns noliody else can. Come right down
yourself, and come quickly. Amen.”
Forward Seasons.
Detroit Free Preei r.
An old negro named Sam Clark, who
counts a Griswold street lawyer among
his friends, called at, his law-shop yes
terday with a very auxious look on his
face, and said :
“Boss. Ize cleaned twisted up dis
time, an’ I want to ax a few queshuns.”
“Well, go ahead, Sam.”
"Wall, all de white folks toll me dat
de sezun am at leas’ a month ahead. I
h'ars ’em talkin’ ‘bout it on de kyars
an’ nil ober.”
“Yes, this a very forward spring. I
think we arc at least a month ahead.”
“Well, if dat’s de case, willde Fo’th
ob July come on de fo’th ob June, or
when, an’ hain't April fule day dun
j gone an’ passed bj r two weeks ?”
The lawyer tried to explain, but Sain
was more mixed than before. lie
! scratched his head and went slowly out,
hut in half an hour he returned with a
face longer than ever.
“ Got that through your head yet ?”
asked the lawyer.
“ Fo’de Lawd, but Ize bin struck
agin!” whispered the African. “If we
am a month ahead now, dis ya’r will
either have thirteen months or only
’leven ! Splain dat, now !”
But the lawyer couldn’t, and Sain
went out saying:
“Dese white tolks ain n worry euros
set., dey is. Dey go an’ git do sezun
all outer gear, an’ den a nigger can’t
tell whether to plant taters or dodge
icicles!”
Pretty, and Possibly True.
A pretty story is told in St. Petersburg.
A government functionary living in the
outskirts of the Capital died a few days
ago in utter destitution, leaving behind
him, motherless and without friends or
i relations, two little children, one a boy
| of seven and the other a girl of three.
' Left in the house alone, without money
or food, the boy did not know what to
do to get bread for his sister. At last,
urged by the little one’s tears, he wrote on
piece of paper: “ Please, God, send me
three copecks (a penny) to buy my little
sister a roll,” and went to the church
to slip it in the alms box, believing, in
his simplicity, that the prayer would
reach Heaven through this medium. A
priest passing by observed the child on
tip-toe trying to thrust the paper in, and,
taking the paper from him, read the mes
sage. Kcturning home with the child,
lie took the little ones to his house and
gave them the food and clothing they so
much needed. The following Sunday
lie preached a sermon on charity, in
which he referred to the incident., and
; afterwards went round the church w ith
a plate. When the offerings werecount
cd it was found that the congregation
had given 1,500 roubles, or nearly sl,-
000.
How It Sounds.
It was a calm, still night, a soft air
played caressingly with the tresses of a
lovely girl, and the moon shed its gen
tle ray over the radiant brow of her
lover, iter small brother, meanwhile,
just home from the holidays, was acci
( dentally wandering in quest of a bat in
the neighborhood, when he heard the
| voices of his sister and her betrothed.
Prompted by the natural curiosity of
youth lie lingered to listen. After a
few inarticulate murmurs lie became
conscious of the sound of osculation,
and enjoyed his position exceedingly.
Later in the evening he met the pair at
tea. “ I heard you kiss Fred,” he ab
ruptly remarked to liis sister. “What
do you mean, you rude boy ?” cried the
sweet girl, turning scarlet. “Oh, it’s
nouse denying it,” replied her brother;
“you can’t gammon me, I know the
sound, you know ; it was just like a
cow pulling her hoof out of a mud
hole." This is an instance of a com
parison which was odious.
Baltirr.ore Sun : A funny scene was
witnessed a few days ago in tne Feder
al Court at Danville, Va., the Judge of
which (Rives) it will be rembered, re
cently instructed his grand jury to in
dict a number of county judges for not
putting colored men on the juries. A
colored man named Gravely was indict
ed for selling liquor without license.
When he saw the jury before which lie
was to be tried about equally divided
between white and biaek, lie exclaimed :
“ For God Almighty’s sake don’t let
them niggers try me !” Efforts were
made to pacify him, but he never be
came reconciled. He insisted that
“ niggers would hang a man just to see
him kick.”
Dr, Lovick Pierce, the Nestor of
Methodism in the South, and father of
Bishop Geo. F Pierce, was ninety-five
i years old on the 24t!i of March.
FOR THE YOUNG FOLKS.
Why the BtbMl has * hhort Tall, and
Why Ihe One Harks.
To appreciate the following story, it
will tie necessary for the reader to draw
upon his imagination to tho extent of
conceiving an ofd negro man, witli the
little folks gathered around him after
supper, when lie is not too much ex
Imitated by Ids daily toil:
“ I)ah ! Do you hear, chil'eu ? What
dat ?”
Children: Oh! pap, dat ar’ nothin’
lint a pup bark’n’.
The father: lie! he! chil'eu, do
you want, to know how come dogs ter
bark and der rabbits to Imb abort tail ?
Children (altogether and greatly ex
cited) : Yes, pap. Tell ns wight now.
Father liegins : Lang time ago dogs
use' ter whistle, and der rabbits dey
use' ter have long tails; but dor dogs,
dey mighty proud and kinder imposin'
like. Well, der dogs an’ rabbits use’
ter talk like folks in deni olden days.
One Mr. Dog went an’ imposed on
Buddy Rabbit, ’cause he bigger’n Bud
dy Rabbit; an’ den Buddy Rabbit iio
made up his mind ter get even wid Mr.
Dog cf he live.
One day Buddy Rabbit was gwine
'long der road a thinkin’, when he looks
ail' see Mr. Dog settin’ up bellin’ a big
oak tree, des a-whistlin’ away. Den
Buddy Rabbit says: “Hello! Buddy
Dog, you is is a mighty fine whistler.
I do b’lieve I could fix your whistle so
dat, all der ladies would say you got der
best whistle of any gemman in dis
town.”
Mr. Dog say : “ How, Buddy Rab
bit ? Kf you will des fix my whistle,
I'll do anvt’ing you want me ter do.”
Buddy Rabbit say : “ Well, Buddy
1 can fix your whistle so it will be der
best whistle in dis town, sho’. It gwine
ter bite you at fuss ; but ef you want
me ter. I'll fix it.”
So Buddy Rabbit run his hail’ in his
pocket an’ pull out his knife, an’ tell
Mr. Dog ter hold wight still, while ho
split iKilf sides of his luonf back. Den
he says:
“ Now, Ruddy Dog, don’t you whistle
till I get to dat big tree way down yon
der, so I can hear ef your whistle is
better.”
Win'll Buddy Rabbit got to der tree,
Mr. Dog try ter whistle, and his whis
tle done spiled so he can t whistle good
a bit. And Mr. Dog gwine ter get
mighty mad; but Buddy Rabbit say
quickly:
“ All! Ruddy 1 )og, I see zaotly wlmt’s
der matter. I done split your mouf
back jes fur enough to split your pres
ent whistle and not quite fur enough
ter get to der good whistle. Jes’ hold
wight still onoe more, while I split it
back jes a Icetle bit furder.”
Den when Buddy Rabbit done split
Mr. Dog’s mouf way back, he ran down
der road, den tell Buddy Dog ter whis
tle ; hut when poor Mr. Dog try ter
whistle, his whistle done gone, and he
say “ Gr-r-r, gr-r-r, bouf, wouf, wouf,”
and growl and bark all der time, ’stead
of whistlin’. So it make Mr. Dog so
mad, ’cause Buddy Rabbit done spile
his fine voice and whistle, and make
him growl and bark, he take after Bud
dy Rabbit with all his might to kill
him. Mr. Dog an’ Buddy Rabbit run.
And jes as Buddy Rabbit jump into
der brier patch, Mr. Dog catch him by
his long tail an’ bite it short olf; an’
from dat day ter dis Mr. Dog be whis
tles no more, but bark with his mouf,
an’ Buddy Babbit he been had a short
tail.”
Interest.
No blister draws sharper than inter
est does. Of all industries none is
comparable to that of interest. It
works nil day and night, in fr.ir wcath
er and in foul. It has no sounds in its
footsteps, but travels fast. It gnaws
at a man's substance with invisible
teeth. It binds industry with its film,
as a fly is bound in a spider's web.
Debts roll a man over and over, bind
hand and foot., letting him hang upon
the fatal mesh until the long-legged in
terest devours him. There is but one
thing on a farm like it, and that is the
Canada thistle, which swarms new
plants every time you break roots, and
whose blossoms are prolific, anti every
flower the father of a thousand seeds ;
every leaf is an awl, ever branch a
spear and every 7 flower like a platoon of
bayonets, ami a field of them like an
armed host. The whole plant is a tor
ment and vegetable curse. Ami yet. a
farmer had better make his bed of Ca
nada thistles than attempt to be at ease
on interest.
“ An English l>oy was beating adon
key unmercifully, when the minister of
that parish, coining up, censured him
for his cruelty. The boy resentfully
retorted: “ I'm sure you need not
care ; it’s none of your congregation.”
“ How was the world made?” is be
ing discussed in scientific magazines.
We wern't thar, but we suppose they
got all the subscription they could raise
along the survey, and then bonded the
rest of the work and pushed it through.
One of the Richmond papers objects
to the stocking of the Virginia rivers
with fish, on the ground that “ it would
encourage idleness among the people,
who being tnus furnished with free food,
would neglect agriculture. ’
A Boston lawyer, badgering a wit
ness, said sternly: “I believe, sir, you
have served a sentence in the State
prison ?” “ Yes,” was the unconcerned
reply, “ I was in the State prison, and
I had the misfortune to occupy the
the same cell your brother had had.”
Quite a large crop of Guano planted.