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PUTTING ON AIRS.
niml T*oU lh* Frill* Out ul One Mnn.
He was a shrewd, white-headed old
gentleman tourist who sat tipping a
lemonade in Baldwin bar-room, the oth
er day, and who remarked, as a self-im
portant individual came in and hungri
ly ordered whisky straight:
“ Now, 1 ’p’ose that gentleman is one
nf your bonanza fellows, and owns
nbout two-thirds of thermal estate’round
here?"
“No," we replied, ‘‘he is a much
greater personage. He is one of the
successful candidates of the late elec
tion.” t
'• I might have known it,” remarked
the old gentleman. “He acts just as I
did w hen 1 was elected to congress.”
“ How was that?”
“ Well, you sec I was elec ied M. C.
from the fourth district just after the
war. We had a pretty lively campaigu
yf it, and as I never had been in poli
tics before, I somehow got the idea that
the whole country had "quit work and
was watching my contest with quivering
anxiety. Every time the other side ac
cused me of being a chicken thief, or a
bigamist, or something, and I'd get
back at them w ith a card in the lledville
Warhoop headed : “Another Lie Nail
ed J” I'd send a marked copy to every
lea/ling paper in the country.”
Did, eh?”
" Yes, and I was disgusted to find
they never paid the slightest attention
to me either. What surprised me most
was that, although I kept the president
and cabinet advised of everything that
occurred, I never got the slightest sym
pathy from any of them. I was an ad
ministratiou man, too, and 1 thought it
was blamed singular.”
“Didn’t notice you at all?”
‘•Not at all, sir, and when I was
elected, and the boys lighted a bonfire
in the main street, and serenaded me,
and 1 spoke six hours in the open air as
to my future course on the tariff and
finances, the New York papers merely
said that ‘a Mr. Gunn had been elected
by a small majority,’ my name being
Gonlcy, as you know. ’
“ That was bard.”
“ Well, I put that all down to envy
and malice and I started for Washing
ton. I expected that at least the speak
er of the house and a connnitte appoint
ed by the senate would be down at the
depot to welcome me to the capital.”
“ They did so?”
‘•The only persons that met me were
u committee of buckmen, who tore my
overcoat half off, rammed me into a
hack and robbed me, with the aid and
assistance of the hotel clerk, who then
gave me a dark room on the top floor,
and asked the first week's board in ad
vance ; said it was the rule of the house
with Arkansas members.”
“The impudent rascal.”
“ That’s what I thought. Well, the
next morning I got away from the bed
bugs as well I could, and went up to
the White House to sea if the president
would like to stroll down to the house to
introduce me and see me sworn in. I
sent up my card, and in an hour or two
some secretary or other sent back word
that the president was art, breakfast and
couldn’t be bothered.”
“ That was pretty short, wasn’t it?”
“ Well, I was just dumbfounded.
However, I went down to the capitol,
and told the sergeant-at-arms to go in
and announce to the members that I
had arrived. He grinned and said:
“ That’s devilish good, that isand
rushed off. I expected that, of course,
the members would gome crowding up
to congratulate me, and say something
like ‘ Magnificent speech of yours, that
last one, Gonley. Beat ’em by forty
eight votes, too, old fellow.’ And then
mebbe they’d give me three cheers, and
all that sort of thing.”
“ And did they?”
“No sir; I hope I may never stir if
they didn’t give me a back seat in the
cloak room until my name was called,
and a door keeper fired me out into the
corridor twice under the impression that
I was a lobbyist. Well, after I had
been put on the joint committee on spit
toons and window washing, and spent a
couple of months trying to wedge in my
four hour speech on the match tax, some
thing occurred that took my frills out
of me for good.”
“ What was that?”
“ Well, I was taking a drive out to
the soldiers’ home one afternoon with
three other members when a light buggy
went by like a streak of greased light
ning, the trotter driven by a solemn
looking man in a rosy plug hat, who
was smoking a cigar and steadying a
small terrier on the seat with his elbow.
*• That’s Butcher Boy.” said one of
my companions with great interest;
The H artwell Sun.
By BENSON & McGill.
VOL. IX---NO.
“ trots in twenty. He’s a rattling good
stcpjH'r. bet your life.”
41 Did you nortecr tlmt dog?” said an
other, “Best bred pup in town —tail
no bigger thqu a rat’s —infernal tine dug
that.”
As Iliad nothing oisc to say, I casu
ally inquired who the driver was.
“fcWliy, that’s the president,” said one
of them with a yawn. “By Jove, how
I’d like to have one of those pups!”
That settled it. I’ve been as meek
• %
and sad as a cart horse pulling a picpic
ever since.” ” ’i
Alexander H. Stephens’ Wise Flop.
llaeper't Young I‘topic.
We are sure all young people will
read with pleasure the following de
scription of a very remarkable dog,
which belonged to the llop. Alexander
11. Stephens. The dog, which is men
tioned in the • Lite of Mr. .Stephens,”
was a very large and fine white poodle,
named Rio. a dog of unusual intelli
gence and affection, to which Mr.
Stephens became very strongly attach
ed. While Mr. Stephens was in Wash
ington Rio stayed with Linton Steph
ens, at Sparta, Ga., until his master
returned home.
Mr. Stephens would usual I} - come
during the session of Greene county
court, whore Linton would meet him,
having Rio with him in his buggy, and
the dog would then return to his mas
ter. When this had happened once or
twice, the dog learned to expect him
on tli£se occasions. The cars usually
arrived about 9 o'clock at night. Dur
ing the evening Rio would be extreme
ly restless, and at the first sound of the
approaching train he would rush from
the hotel to the depot, and in a few
seconds ha would know whether his
master was on the train or not, for he
would search for him through nil the
car.
lie was well known to all the conduc
tors, and if the train happened to start
before Bio had finished his search, they
would stop to let him get out. But
when his search was successful his rap
tures of joy at seeing his master again
were really atlecting. Ilis intelligence
was so great that he seemed to under
stand whatever was said to him : at a
word he would shut a door as gently as
a careful servant might have done, or
would bring a cane, hat or umbrella.
He always slept in his master's room,
which he searely left during Mr. Ste
phens’ attacks of illness. In a word,
Mr. Stephens found in him a compan
ion of almost human intelligence and
of unbounded affection and fidelity,
and the tie between the man and the
dog was strong and enduring.
“ For nearly thirteen years he was,”
says Mr. Stephens, “ my constant com
panion, when at home, day and night,
and until he became blind, a few years
ago, he always attended me wherever I
went, except to Washington, You may
well imagine, then, how I miss him !
miss him in the yard, in the house, in
my walks; for, though blind, he used
to follow me about the lot wherever I
went. W T hen I was reading or writing
he was-always at my feet. At night,
too, his bed was the foot of my own.
His beautiful, white; thick coat of wool
was soft as silk. Who that knew him
as I did could refrain from shedding a
tear for poor Rio ?”
Of course he was properly interred,
in a coffin, in the garden, and placed in
the position in which he usually slept,
with his face on his fore-feet.
The penalties for obstructing the
census takers, who begin their labors
on the first Monday in June, are severe.
The law says : All persons above the
age of twenty-one y T ears who shall re
fuse to furnish the infttfjnation required
by tiie supervisor or enumerated shall
forfeit and pay a sum not exceeding
SIOO to be Recovered in an action of
debt. Presidents, directors or other
officials of private corporations who
refuse to furnish information required
of them are made liable to a penalty
not to exceed SIO,OOO.
“ Does a bad egg look like a good
one ?” asks a correspondent. It does,
Unless you look at it with your nose.
Then you will perceive a scentsible
difference.
Gainesville, Ala., has received a bale
of cotton which weighed 040 pounds.
HARTWELL, GA.! WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 4, 1880.
*• Who struck Billy Patterson f”
A correspondent of the Carnesvillo
(Ga.) Register; who is writing a series of
“historical sketches, reminiscences and
legeuds of Franklin county,” gives the
following explanation us to the origin of
the above query:
Many persons have heard the ques-
tion, “Who struck Billy Patterson?"
without ever knowing the origin of it.
I propose to eulighteu them a little on
the subject. William Patterson was a
very wealthy tradesman or merchant of
Baltimore in the State of Maryland.
In the early days of Franklin county,
be bought up a great many tracts of
land in the county, and spent a good
portion of his time in Franklin looking
after his interests here. He was said to
be as strong as a bear and as brave as a
lion ; but like all brave men, he was a
lover of peace; and indeed a good, pi
ous mail. Nevertheless, his wrath could
he excited to the fighting pitch. On one
occasion he attended a public gathering
in the lower part of Franklin county at
some district court ground. During the
day two opposing bullies and their
friends raised a row and a general fight
was the consequence. At the begiquing
of the affray and before the fighting be
gan Billy Patterson ran into the crowd
and tried to persuade them not to fight,
hut to make peace and be friends. But
his efforts for peace were unavailing, 1
and while making them, some of the
crowd in the general melee, struck Billy
Patterson a severe blow from behind.
Billy at once became fighting mad and
cried out at the top of his voice, “ Who
struck Billy Patterson?” No one could
ox would tell him, wliu was the guilty
party. lie then proposed to give auy
man a hundred dollars who would tell
him “Who struck Billy Pattersou ?’
From a hundred dollars he rose to a
thousand dollars. But not a thousand
dollars reward would induce any man
to tell him “ Who struck Billy Patter
son?” And years afterwards in his will
he related the above facts and bequeath
ed one thousand dollars to be paid by
his executors to the man that would tell
them “ Who struck Billy Patterson?”
His will is recorded in the Ordinary’s
office at Carnesville, Franklin county,
Georgia, and any one curious about the
matter can there find and verify the
preceding statements.
[Eds. Sun : Ben Patterson is a lineal
descendant of Billy Patterson, and the
man who strikes him on the snoot will
have to rear back on his hind legs and
reach much higher than the man who
smote Billy. At the time when Billy
Patterson was struck, Hart county had
not been formed. Hart was formed
from portions of Franklin and Elbert
countifcs, and as Billy was struck in the
lower edge of Franklin, what is now
Hurt county is wlierfe this memorable
event occurred. Many of our farmers
now live on the old Patterson survey.]
Philosophy, not Pistols.
Tis sweet to love,
lint oh, how bitter,
To love a girl
And then not git her.
For an evidence of the above, says a
Philadelphia paper, think of young Mr. !
M , of this city, who has loved to
desperation all summer a pretty Chest
nut street girl; think of the mauy lines
of love-burdened lore he poured into her
willing ear ; think of the theater tickets
he has invested in ; think of the buggy
rides, the flowers, the photographs, the
ice-cream treats, the rings, the lockets,
etc., ad infinitum, that have been hers at
his cost! and then meditate upon his
disappointment when, a few days since,
the fair creature informed him in a sub
limely innocent manner that her wedding
would take place w ith Mr. S ,of
Kalamozoo. Did young Mr. M
drown himself? Did he snap a pistol
at his lacerated heart? Did he take
laudanum, arsenic, or lock himself up
in a charcoal furnace? No! but he
acted like a philosopher. He referred
to his diary. He procured two sheets of
commercial paper. He made out an
itemized account of the money he had
spent upon the “gal who flung him,”
and sent it to the old man. The young
lady pronounced it all “O. K.,” and
young Mr. M received a check for
the amount ($80.32) upon a prominent
| bank, upon which he obtained the money
' and is now bitterly happy.
Devoted to Hart County.
“ Wouldn’t anybody rob an old man
like me, would they ?” he innocently
asked.
The warning was repented, but lie
jogged around as before, and after a
time was seen in consultation with two
straihgers who had walked him around
to the wharf. An officer got him away
from them and angrily said :
“ Didn’t I warn you against strang
ers ? Those fellows arc after j’our
mo&ajr 1”
“ But how can they get it when I
have it in my pocket and my hand on
it ail the time ?”
“ Well, you look out.”
“ Yes, I will look out; but I don’t
want to be uncivil. When anybody
talks to me, I like to talk back.”
The strangers had him on the string
again, and in about a quarter of an
hour they loft him in a hurried manner,
and he sauntered into the depot with
his wallet in his hand.
0
“ There ! You've let ’em beat you ?”
exclaimed the officer. “ I low much did
you lend them ?”
“ Wall, they wanted §20,” lie slowly
replied.
“And you handed it over, of course?”
“ I give ’em a $. r >o bill and got S3O
back.”
“ Well, you’ll never see the bill
again.”
I kinder hope not,” he chuckled, as
he drew down his eye. “It was a
counterfeit which my son found in
Troy, and being as I am very old and
innocent and not up to the tricks of
the wicked world, I guess I'll git into
the cars before somebody robs me of
my boots. If any one should come
around looking for me, please say I’m
not at home.”
■
Bleeding at the Nose.
There are two little arteries which
supply the whole face with blood, one
on each side; these branch off from
the main arteries on each side of the
windpipe, and running upward toward
the eyes, pass over the outside of the
jaw-bone, about two thirds of the way
back from the chin to the angle of the
jaw, under the ear. Each of these ar
teries, of course, supplies just one-half
of the face, the nose being the dividing
line; the left nostril is supplied by blood
from the left artery, and the right nos
tril from the right artery. Now sup
pose your nose bleeds by the right nos
tril, with the end of the forefinger feel
along the outer edge of the right jaw
until you feel the beating of the artery
directly under your finger, the same as
the pulse in your wrist; then press the
finger hard upon it, thus getting the lit
tle fellow in a tight place between your
finger and the jaw-bone; the result will
be that not a drop of blood goes into
that side of your face while the pres
sure continues ; hence the nose instant
ly stops bleeding for want of blood to
flow ; coutinue the pressure for five or
ten minutes, and the"ruptured vessels in
the nose will by that time probably con
tract so that when you let the blood into
WOMAN.
First rend as written, them alternate the
lines.
The bliss of him no tongue can tell
Who iu a woman doth confide;
Win? with a woman scorns to dwell
T’ntfiittibured evils will betide.
They fill each pleasurable day
With joy and innocent delight;
With cheerless gloom and misery
None are possessed while in their sight.
They make the daily path of life
A pleasant journey strewn with flowers
A dreary scene of painful strife
They quickly change with matchless
power.
Domestic joys will last decay
Where fema(.c influence is unknown;
Where'er woman holds her sway
A man is in perfection shown.
She’s never failing to display
Truth in ito native loveliness,
A heart inclined to treachery
A woman never did possess.
That man true dignity will find
t Who tries the matrimonial state ;
iVho pours coutumpt on woman kind
Will mourn his folly when too late.
An Innocent Old Man.
!>i <’ •*{ ?
Detroit Free Frets.
fi • > ” *
vJL'he other day the police at the Union
Depot notioed a fceble-looking old man
wandering in and out to kill time until
his train should depart, and as lie sev
eral times rtispl.vyed quite a roll of
bills, lie was cautioned to look out for
pickpockets and confidence men.
81.60 Per Annum.
them they will not leak. Bleeding from
it cut or wound anywhere about the face
may be stopped in the same way. Those
in the back of tlm head, arms and legs
are all arranged very conveniently for
being controlled in like manner.
Henry Clay’s Wager#
AVii* Orleans Deuwerat.
In 1814 when the Peace Commission,
composed of Jlenry Clay, John Quincy
Adams, James A. Bayard mid Albert
Gallatin, on the part of the United
States, and Lord Gambler and Mr.
Gtmlbourn on the part of Great Britain,
were endeavoring to come to an under
standing on the impurtant questions of
the navigation of the Mississippi River
and the fishery privileges, the British
plenipotentiaries sought to alarm the
Americans by informing them of the
invincible army which was moving on
New Orleans, supported by a powerful
lleut. They dwelt on the gallantry and
daring of Pnekenliam, laid much stress
upon the superb character of his troops,
which they truthfully declared were the
dower of the British army, veterans of
the victorious Peninsular oampaign,
and Lord Gainbier gleefully remarked,
“ New Orleans will soon be in our pos
session, and the tree navigation of the
Mississippi assured to irs.”
This greatly nettled Mr. Clay, who
had determined never to concede the
point as to the great with
prophetic eye, lie saw must one day be
come the grandest commercial highway
on the globe, and so, with the instinct
of the true Kentuckian, he at once of
fered to wager Lord Gainbier that the
British army would never capture New
Orleans, and that Paekcnbam would be
disastrously defeated. “ For,” said he,
“ 1 am informed that General Andrew
Jackson, from Tennessee, has gone to
New Orleans, and I have the most im
plicit faitli iu his ability to cope with
your array.” Lord Gainbier joyfully
accepted the wager, which ho fixed at a
hundred guineas. When the news of
the rout of the British army at Clial
motte and of the death of Packenham
was received in Europe, Lord Gainbier
approached Mr. Clay at a grand ball—
given, we believe, in honor of the suc
cess of the negotiations at Ghent—and
handing him the hundred guineas, said :
“Mr. Clay, I believe there are three
kinds of beings under the special care
and protection of Divine Providence
—lunatics, drunkards and the Ameri
can people.”
A Small Hole to Rot Through.
The proprietor of a tan-yard, adja
cent to a certain town in Virginia, con
cluded to build a stand for the purpose
of vending his leather, buying raw hides
and the like. Debating what sort of
sign it was best to put lip for the pur
pose of attracting attention, at last a
happy idea struck him. Ho bored an
augur-hole through the door-post, stuck
a calf's tail into it. with the bush end
flaunting out. After awhile he noticed
a grave-looking personage standing
near the door, with his spectacles, gaz
ing intently on the sign. And there he
continued to stand, gazing and gazing,
until the curiosity of the proprietor w as
greatly excited in turn, lie stepped
out and addressed the individual:
“Good morning,” said he.
“ Morning,’’"said the other, without
moving his eyes from the sign.
“ You want to buy leather ?” said the
store-keeper.
“ No.”
“ Do you wisli to sell hides ?”
“ No.”
“ Are you a farmer ?”
“ No.”
“ Are vou a merchant ?”
“ No.”
“ Are you a lawyer ?”
“ No.”
“ Are you a doctor ?”
“ No.”
*Whoare you, then ?”
“ I’m a philosopher. I’ve been stand
ing here for an hour, trying to see if I
could ascertain how that calf got
through the auger-kole. I can’t make
i it out, to save mv life.”
Seventy-two thousand dollars is the
highest price ever paid for a horse in
England. It was given by its richest
peer, the duke of Westminster.
WHOLE NO. U>
FEMALE WITNESS.
i A re|orter of the New York World
photographs a scene in court which il
lustrates the thorns that beset a law
yer’s path when he is trying to escort a
I female witness through tier evidence:
“ 1 want to know, Mrs. ," in*
terrupted Hubbard, “ I want to know
on which side of your house the L is.
Is it north, south, east or west ?”
“ It’s on this side,” replied the lady#
motioning with her hand.
“ The cast side ?”
" No."
“ The west side ?”
“ No, it’s straight across from Mrs.
B.’s parlor window, not twenty feet
from it, sou—”
“ Mrs. ,” shouted the lawyer,
“ will you tell me if that L is on the
east, west, north or south side of your
liouso ?”
“It aint on any side of the house,”
replied the witness, compressing her
lips; “ it’s at the end. You know ns
well as I do. You’ve seen it ninny t*
time, and there? ain’t no use—”
“ Come, come, Mrs. ,” interrupt
ed Judge Cromer, “ tell the geulleman
where the L of tlie house is situated.”
“Haven’t I been telling him just a*
plain as I could ?”
“ Where is the L situated ?” said
Hubbard, desperately.
“ Right in the lot, buck against the
end of the house.”
“ Will you answer my question T'
shouted the affuble lawyer, running up
his hair in desperation.
“ Wliat question ?”
“ Is the L on the east, west, north or
south side of the house ?”
“ Judge, I’ve told him just ns plain
as ever a woman could/ I didn’t come
here to be insulted by no one-horse
lawyer. 1 know him and Ids father be
fore him. lie aint got no business put
ting on airs. What kind of a family
*
“Silence!” thundered the Judge,
“ Now, Mrs. , which side of your
liotlso does the sun rise on?”
’• That one,” said the witness indicat
ing-
“ Is the L on that side ?”
“ Yes, sir."
“ Then it’s on the east side ?”
“ Yes.”
“ Why didn’t 3-011 say so, then ?”
asked the exasperated lawyq/*.
“’Cause you never asked me, 3 - oil
thick-headed old fool. I know a thing
or—”
“That will do,” said Hubbard, "Take
the witness,” he added, turning to Torn
Wren, the opposing counsel.
Prepared for Heaven,
Sevj York World.
Sometime ago one of Arkansas’ most
widely known statesmen, who is now
dead, was passing along a street iu Lit
tle Rock, when an old colored man, who
had once belonged to him, approached,
took oil his bat and passed a handover
his white wool, as he said :
“ Marstcr, gin de ole man fifty cent.”
“ Dan, you are a rohber.”
“ How?” asked the astonished darkey,
opening his eyes, around which rough
shod age had walked,
•• Didn’t you see me put my hand in
my pocket?”
“ Yes, sail.”
“ Well, you old rascal, you robbed mo
of the pleasure of giving you money
w ithout being asked,”
The old mau received a dollar. Bow*
ing almost to the ground, while tears
came out and coursed through the ago
prints around his eyes, he replied :
“ Marstcr, wid sich a heart as you has,
and wid Abraham aud Isaac an’ do
Lord on your side, I don’t see what can
keep you out of heben.”
A Kermon Preached to a Preacher.
A little shoeblack called at the resi
dence of a clergyman of the city and
solicited a piece of bread and some wa
ter. The servant was directed to give
the child bread from the crumb basket,
and as the little fellow was going away
and shifting the gift between his fingers
for a piece large enough to chew, the
minister called him back and asked
him if he had ever learned to pray.
On receiving a negative answer, he di
rected him to say “ Our Father,” but
he could not understand the famil
iarity. :
“ Is it our father —your father —my
father?"
“ Why, certainly.”
The boy looked at him awhile and
commenced crying, at the same time
holding up his crust of bread, and ex
claiming between his sobs:
“ You say your father is my father;
aren’t you ashamed to give your little
brother such stuff to cat when yon have
got so roanv "ood things for vourself?”