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“Oar Ambition is to make a Yeracions Wolrk, Reliable in its * n £ in its Conclusions, and Jnst in its Views."
Statements, Candid
VOL. I.
I sn now go from London almost
Lbou»d»ry ot the Oliinese Empire
L great Rus sian Railway.
■ he traveler can now go to tbe top ot
kont Mountain, the scene of the
■ buted battle above the clouds, bv
[tii L now prohibiting proposed to under enact penalty, a law the in
(nufacture, wa
sale, or use of dangerous
ipons.
L natives of Venezuela recently
L. cd s wagon for nearly a week to
Lif the hind wheels would catch up
iti the front ones. As this did not
fccur, the vehicle was pronounced a
i mi.
Ihe Grand Vizier of Turkey has had
»tawn some of the silver ware holong
Lto the Saltan to raise the Sultan's
Ltribution toward the expenses for the
Lai pilgrimage of poor Mussutinen to
kca.
[Seventeen hundred hales of buffalo
[bes arrived in New York recently from
e West. These are said to be the la it
[bes that will ever be sent Ea;t, su -h
sins the scarcity of tho buffalo at. pres
it. At one time skins were sold at $4
piece. Vow they bring Upward of $25,
!»■ "being obtainable even at that price.
I In 1848 Lieutenant Trcchow was dis
Ini-seil from the German array for sur
rendering the Berlin armory, in the in
liirrection, to the Civic Guard, and was
londemned to fifteen years’ imprison
jnent in a fortress. lie escaped to Aus
Iralia, and now, at the age of seventy
Ihrce, he has returned, hoping that he
pas included in the amnesty proclaimed
by the new Emperor. The Minister of
War decide?, that his offense was tinpar
lonable, and he will be reimprisoued,
irobahly for life.
In Denmark, it is becoming customary,
the Times-Democra', for friends to
to the relatives of a person who has
what is called a “Good Works
ia place of the usual floral trib
These cards are of white paste
printed in silver, and are issued
various charitable organizations. On
each card is tho name of the society
‘which issues It; in the centre is an ivy
wreath on which the name of the de
may be written: and at the foot
is a space for the name of the sender.
The cards are sold ju bookstores for a
moderate sum.
| | Empresses Europe has jnst an abundance of widowed
now, says the Cincinnati
lEnptinr. I Germany has two, the wives
«f billiam I. and Frederick III.: Eng
land's Queen and Empress of India has
l>ein long widowed; the once beautiful
Eugenie, of France, still lingers at Chis
dhurst dreaming of her lost son; and
’ we believe Carlotta, the unfortunate
widow of Maximill an, once Emperor of
Mexico, still lives in an arylutn. There
are also several widowed Queens, those
of Spain, Portugal and Italy being
among the list. And ail of them, save
t avlotta, were bereft of their husbands
a natural death.
I; Lverv has
how one noticed while driving
rarely a horse steps on a stone, even
when going very rapidly, An old
cavalryman sai s that a horse never steps
onaman intentionally. It is a standing
order with cavalry that should ft man
become dismounted he must lie down
and be perfectly still. If he does so, the
entire company will pass over him and
he will not be in jured. A horse notices
where he is going, and is on the look
out :or a firm foundation to put his foot
on. It is an instinct with him, there
f° e, to step over a prostrate man. The
injuries caused by a runaway horse are
neatly always inflicted by the animal
hem. knocking down men, not by stepping on
The New York Observer says: “An
hem has appeared among the cable dis
patches to the effect that a proposition
has been made in the English Parliament,
to utilize the latest British acquisition
°n the Zanzibar coast as a dumping
ground for paupers of London. As a
remedy for over-population, and espe
cially for pauperism, there can be no
doubt that emigration posses-es some
hitherto, advantages. The trouble has been
that no country has been found
willing to sacrifice its own interests for
the sake of England, so far as to become
a ro e ptacle for the refuge of London
slums. Australia and all the other Eng
ish colonies revolted at this idea long
*go, and the United States and other
civilized na.ti 0 ns are in no mood to allow
^uch a «6e to be made of their territories,
if, therefore, the newly acquired African
country may be converted into a vast
a sylnm for the London poor, some ad
‘ ri °ce may be made toward the solution
of a very perplexing problem.”
GRAY, GEORGIA. SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 1, .> X cv 0
THE SXN OF OMISSION,
It isn’t the thing you do, dear,
It'S the thing you leave undone,
Which gives you a bit of heartache
At the setting of the sun
The tender word forgotten,
The letter you did not write,
The flower you might have sent, dear,
Are your Haunting ghosts to-night
The -stone you might have lifted
Out of a brother's way,
The bit of hearthstone counsel
You were hurried too much to say;
The loving touch of tho hand, dear,
The gentle and winsome tone,
That you had no time nor thought for,
With troubles enough of your own.
Tbe little acts of kindness,
So easily out of mind;
Those chances to be angels
Which every one may find—
They come in night and silence—
Each chill, reproachful wraith—
When hope is faint and flagging,
And a blight has dropped on faith.
For life is all too short, dear,
And sorrow is all too great.
To suffer our slow compassion
That tarries until too late.
And it’s not the thing you do, dear,
It's the thing you leave undone,
Which gives you the bit of heartache
At the setting o£ the sun.
—Christian Leader.
THE HEW CURATE.
“You haven’t seen him yet? Well,
that’s a pity. He’s quite a catch, I am
told. Young, handsome and single,
Why Mattie? don’t you set your cap for him,
You’ve got as good a chance as
the rest of them, and twenty-six is not
old, by means.” *
any
She leaned over the garden gate as
she spoke, this veritable village gossip.
lean see her now, with her great poke
bounet, from beneath which the cluster
eves that seemed to read vour verv
thoughts; the trim little figure clad al
ways in ample skirts of Quaker grav or
sombre brown. 1 ° ‘
Never was there a wedding without funeral or
christening estimable in the village this
less lady’s presence. What a harm
little bodv she aimeared, and how
incapable ful budget of carrying about that wonder
of information! How nicely
t d her knowledge to her
' 'Sv <z
say, but of course you can’t believe
everything;” between and ending with, “That’s
you and me; it will go no fur
ther.”
I was in the garden that morning,
thoughts training some early .Tune roses;
were not the br ghtest, scarcely
in harmony with Nature which’was
decked in one of her brightest mantles.
It was quite unnecessary for Mrs. Briggs
to remind me of my age; I was think
ing seriously of it. Twenty-six! Not
very old, to bo sure, and yet not very
young to an unmarried woman. J must
be content with fewer laurels, less con
quests. I must step out of the field, as
it were, and leave the romance and day
dreams to younger and fairer girls.
It mattered little to me whether the
new curate was young and unmarried, or
g.own Frown’da!mltels daughters. W ’ At aTP heart t I T^V disliked fkl
tkenifoTm broken in on my reverie. ^ had
I h Mer1l I l < ; r kindly
tel Ifn lin £ f A f fl f !,rCSimt J had U ° m '
S my Cai> r any ne i
nt , the new curate; f so saying . I
<“rn a T ! he r T es -
There, , Mattie don’t get riled. , nt
leave L n ° b0dyS aS1,le lfyo
going to you,sell n an old u maid; but
takemyadviee and don t spend your
time frettng and worrying over Bob
Preston. for he am t worth it, nohow.’
She shook her head wise.y, and was
off before l had time to recover from the
cruel thrust that had opened the old
wound-Robert Prestcn and the past
lhad tried to guard my heart, to
trample under foot the old love. I could
have laughed at my girlish folly as if it
were a dieaui untii a thoughtless word
had brought back the past, like tho dead
risen to life again, or a smouldering fire
that needed but a gentle breeze to make
it a burning flame. One by one the roses
dropped from my hands. One by one
the bdnding tears fell. I wason'y a weak
woman, after all, as, covering my face
with my hands, I sobbed:
“Robert, O Robert! Why were you
false?”
It all came back to me—that visit to
Aunt Martha, where I first met Robert
Preston, a young student jnst returned
from college, i cannot tell all those
bright, happy day-dreams; how I loved
him and waited for the happy day when
he would ask me for that love. Ife read
my answer in my tell-tale face before my
lips uttered it.
So, engrossed with Robert’s society, I
took little heed of other matters, scarcely
giving a thought to the fact that a young
lady, the daughter of a deceased friend
* going to make her
of my aunt's, was rihe the
home with us. came. From
moment I looked upon her lovely face
my happiness was gone. 1 was a pretty
girl, fair, and fragile, yet one daisy might as
well compare a simple little to a
full-blown poppy or a rich red rose as
my frail beauty to this girl’s exquisite
loveliness.
For a time his love was unchanged. I
I laughed in my foolish heart at tny
doubts and fears.' At times l would find
his serious eyes wandering from me and
resting admiringly on the beautiful face
of Kathleen Lee. No man could resist
that wondrous, fascinating face, tihe
never encouraged him: but the drooping
lids, the faint flush, told told the trembling she, she, ot
the the little little hands, bands, all all plainly plainly that that
too. loved him.
How I suffered! In mv mad jealousy
I grew almost to hate the child. He
loved me before she came, with her beau
tiful flower-like face, to rob me of that
love. Was she blind that she did not
see that we were betrothed? J prayed
that she might go away and leave us to
ourselves once more, ar.d Robert would
go back to his old fond ways. IIis ca
resses lighter. Were I growing colder,' his kisses
He spoke of his taking seeming neglect,
answered lightly, both my
hands in his and Iboking fondly at me.
“Yonsense, Mattie! Do you know,
my liUle girl, that you are growing
nearer and dearer to me every day?”
I or a time I was satisfied, trying to be
satisfied with but a share oi his love.
We were seated in the garden, one af
ternoon, early in the autumn, Robert,
Kathleen and I. She was looking unu
suaby handsome in a dress of soft i ndian
mull. My lover had fust paid her a
well merited compliment, for which she
was about to make a gracious reply,
when Martha *
aunt came to Us.
“Robert,” she said, placing her hand
fondly “will on his shoulder as she spoke, I
find you gather somograpes forme?
that some of the bunches hang too
high. The girls will go with you and
hold the basket ”
He rose to comply with her request.
Kathleen was at his side in a moment,
while I refused to join them, feigning a
headache. '
severe
within “They do not want me,” I reasoned
myself.
I watched them as they walked away
together, lie carrying the little wicker
basket, and she tossing her bright curls
with that coquettish air that came so
natural to her.
I cannot tell you what tempted me to
follow them; it must have been some evil
genius. Slowly I followed down the
pathway, taking every precaution, how
ever , not lo be observed. Seated upon
a little rustic bench, I could see every
movement of my lover and Kathleen.
How lovely she looked standing in the
orchard, the sunlight falling oii athwart
the lovely upturned face, whieli a
SInde rested! Never was seen a fairer
vision- Her sleeve of soft texture fall
stretched arm.
Sometimes a peal of merry laughter
would fall upon my ear. They did not
miss me—not even Robert; he was content
with Kathleen.
T,w basket was full to overflowing,
and sti11 th °y lingered. One bunch of
luscious giapes, the last gathered, was
“ Robert's hand, lie stooped to place
las1 1 no I saw ldm stooo and kiss h!r
CI Y, °! P ala 1 Winecl and fled to the
^elusion of my own room, where I
f obbed out the trouble ot my young
heart, with only God to hear me.
1 went away quite told unexpectedly. Martha. I I
was homesick, I Aunt
bdt a letter lor Robert, giving no telling ex
P lanatl0U of ,n >' conduct; s.mply
lliul 11 was better we should part 1
was acknowledge a proud girl and would not stoop
to a rival
l remember taking the ring he had
« . iven nl « irona “7 haad ’ and a
struggle , it cost me to place it with that
Jetter-the last I should ever write to
t' oijcrt -
* ho tc * . b who
ulte came invabd ™ and ! aeedcd mo f* a11 ., care wa s
? an m >' *
I never heard v from Robert save once,
through Aunt iAia tha, ' b wrote .
gotten “ Robert’,whom, to sjasakcandidly,
gene ftp . to . ,'.cw . York to „ practice n 1 kindlv medicine. Helms
floin t v eil ”
An old newspaper had fallen into my
hands, where an account was given The of a
brilliant reception. Among guests
j 0 f Dr. Robert Preston
and wife. I knew it was Robert and
h] , m:lde no ilU)Uir ies, and,
receiving ,; no further information, took
. f £ ntwl that Aunt Martha’s kind
, pi . eve n t e.l dosed her from again heart
re{efring “ to tbc Arid past. I my
forever The will never know
disappointed R woman, I thought, Sue
tt £ m e i f that I had quite
ceedcd deceiving humanity in general,
unti i H ie gossip had come upon me with
. idle words brinnine \ to life the
Vl itter JL> oust that I thonnht ® had buried
^ <i,u rs " ‘
* * * * * *
“Going to service. Miss Kenwood?”
It was my neighbor who asked the
question, Marcia Hall—a dear little
g irl with the utmost faith in mankind
in general. I smiled faintly as I caught
sight of the new bonnet with its dainty
ribbons, evidently got up for the new
curate.
“Young and fooiish,” thought I.
“Wait until she’s six-and-twenty, and
pil wager she will not buy a new bonnet
for all the new curates in town.”
Slowly we walked to church on that
bright Sunday dressed morning, in Marcia the plainest chatting
gaily and I, of
dresses, walking silently beside her.
1 had not fully recovered from Mrs.
Briggs’s unkind remarks, and was de
termmed to show her my disinclination
to “set my cap,” as she termed it, by ap
pearing in an exceedingly unbecoming
gown. I was glimpse really disappointed, in the in
catching that, a last notwithstanding mirror, to
find my plain
toilet and mj six-and-twenty years, I
was still a pretty woman, and to hear my
mother say as I stopped to kiss her,
“How well crowded -----I you’re the -—-II- looking, little village Mattie —'~ church _
How II-.. - - 0
was—filled — to overflowing. Every „ one
was there, even that hateful ^ Mrs. Briggs,
I caught a glimpse of the great poke bon
net as I walked quickly to my seat.
They were singing as we entered, yet
I*earcely heard them, feeling rather em
barrassed at coming late to be gazed at
by the entire congregation.
J sank wearily takin"' among the soft cash
ions, palmlenf gladly kindly refuge ered by behind a
fan pro a port
jy ly Now old old gentleman gentleman hush, beside beside slight me. me. flutter
a a among
the congregation, a rustle of garments,
with now and then a subdued whisper
as the pulpit was rolled close to tiul
chancel, and the new curate ascended.
“He’s just lovely,” whispered Marcia,
pulling softly Miss Kenwood.” at my sleeve. “Do look
at him.
I kept my eyes downcast. If every
woman in the congregation east glances
of otherwise. admiration, 1 was determined to do
“Ami my brother’s keepet!” was the
text. Clear and distinct were the words
of the speaker. The first words had
caused my heart to beat wildly. How
like that voice of long ago, that rich,
soft voice that pleaded for my love! I
listened like one in a dream,until I raised
my eyes to sue before me—-Robert Pres
ton.
v ^ es f Changed, to , , bo
’
8ure * *he , bright, boyish face of long
™ ,'e were lines of and snf
care
f eiln S on b no ''| w u e the dark hair
was streakea 1 ., with silver. .
Was Kathleen dead? I wondered. Had
^ , blit given * d,ffer up °"‘ his 'l practice 1 .™ crowded .MV as he upon happy my ?
memor J- Why had fate thrown us once
, forget? , uoro One tt /‘ thing er I bitter was determined struggle to
T‘‘ : 1 f ust le av ? th J villa S?- I tb.red
not trust myself . further. Reason as I
would, my heait told me that 1 loved
nim stilt.
whispered M was , a comments over * 1 of could the worshipers lcar . t b <5
°- n tbe eloquence of the new curate. The
® dra lu S er din . s were chanting m that nasal,
?' S so numral to village
ch ?/f’ aDd ^ill T I sat dreaming,
A re J’, then, 011 com I T m -' 8sked mechanically m Y com
Pjouo.i; as arose to
0 ^ )e ^Q t yo u ljko him, Miss Iven
wood? Do tell me. V ou listened at
R' ntl ' >i a " d 0I,ce . ^oked at you,
y 1 ° fbou^ht a v* you were going to faint 1? away,
my ^es. heoff; l hkc whispered; intn, l added God aloud, pity | i me, while ,i -i I
'L®;^ ere “mi!. 0 <1Ultc m °. r0 in unexpectedly tl0 bright
u P°u little group composed of the
gainereo aiounu tne new curate. 1 ncy
had learned he was a man of wealth and
standing,^choosing a matter of taste, borne hm calling one I simply think as it
™* s the pastors wife-presented me to
h,m - Our eyes met, our hands touched,
as > thoso serious eyes upon me,
‘ i£SriSor! Sw ft , "“"™ ^ , mCCtmS ..
I MU happened that we
were srzrJysr aU.walkiug out through the church-
1
silence.’ He was
t j,e fits!, to break the lb pained
0 think t! it jt was was a a common comm n place l ’' C -
“ '
“flow is Kathleen?” I asked,endeavor
ing the to show him how little 1 cared for
past, and how, without betraying tho
his slightest wife’s emotion, I could inquire after
health.
“Kathleen?” He looked dazed at the
question. “I believe she is well, but not
nappy, He believed poor girl.” she well. How strange!
was
Had he grown weary of her as of met
Was he utterly devoid of honor?
“Not happy?” I said, as I toyed nerv
ously with the roses in my bodice. “She
should be very happy as— as—your
wife,” I faltered.
“As my wife!” he said, gazing in
blank amazement. “Did you—oh,
f I never attic ’ married . ha ’-° Kathleen.” judged me wrongly,
“o looked like a man upon whom a
sudden truth had dawned, or one ac
!' uswl of a g roat wrong who could prove
his innocence
that .. ]t be ' vas told la the twilight all. The before service
f mo it notice con
cermng Robert Preston and wife referred
to his cousin He had entered the mm
wry from choice, _ as he had come into
a ,a fg e fortune through the death of his
uncle - True, he had admired Kathleen
as a man would admire a beautiful wo
“ at b bu j be never entertained tho
slightest feeling of love orchard for her.
lh e 8Cene H1 the was but a
s,m . l , . e g ott „ .f np by Robert and
b athleen to excite my jealousy, little
dream mF of the scrums residt,.
Kathleen made a most unfortunate
match, like most beautiful women, mak
ing a poor selection from her many
suitors. Poor girl, what a dear, kind
she letter she sent hear to us, telling reunited! how happy
was to we were
“Just to think of it!” said Mrs.
Briggs. “He had came hack the to her after the I
other girl given him mitten.
wouldn’t take him. Would you?”
We can afford happy, to laugh at her and idle
gossip, we are so Robert I.
1 smde proudly to think captured that without
“setting my cap” all. 1 have the new
curate, after
The Giraffes of the Bird Kingdom.
Four very queer yet beautiful birds
have been paying an enforced visit to
Mr. Ronald burns, in Roosevelt street,
says the New York Son. T hese birds
are natives of the fens and morasses of
Cuba. They are the giraffes of the bird
kingdom. sick visitors The necks of these home
resemble sections of garden
hose painted red. Their legs look like
Coney island 5-cent canes, and arc
hinged in the middle. The complexion
of the birds is a dirty red, save the strong
beak, which is black. The necks have
a most marvelous capacity for stretch
ing and th«>y wind around and twist
sinuously this wav and that in a snake
like, motion. Th,;y enjoy the seclusion
of in ... which
an upper room, onecorner of
they are enclosed by four drygoods
boxes. T he shins 'of these leather-cov
ered Cubans are very tender, arid are
barked when they come in contact with
the boxes. Mr. Burns teeds tbe birds on
rice and bread crumbs. He thinks the
birds would prefer little fish and tender
grasses, but there doesn’t happen to be
any any of of these these succulents succulents in in Roosevelt Roosevelt
street. Mr. Burns They are valued at £25 apiece,
says his visitors are flamin*
goes.
WORDS OF WISDOM.
"To lie finery is to revenge the faults of
others upon onrselvest
Some natures are so sour and ungrate
ful that they are never to be obliged.
'fhe lasting and crowning privilege, oi
father property, of friendship is con
stancy.
It Anxiety is the poison of human life.
is the parent of many sins and of more
miseries.
Title and ancestry fender a good mime
more illustrious, but an ill more con
temptible.
Many a man passes by a little spring of
coo), hog pure water, to drink at last from a
wallow.
One devious step at first stopping out
frequently leads a person into a wilder
ness of doubt and error.
To take away rewards and punish
ments is only pleasing to a man* who re
solves not lo live morally.
It dees not. pay to Hire help you have
to quarrel with, or to work for a person
with whom you desire to quarrel.
When men dare not tell the truth of
themselves, how can they be expected to
always tell the truth about others?
This mystery of steep! This great
mystery of waking! If we could fathom
them, we should have fathomed our
selves, and life and death!
Thousands whom indolence has sunk
in contemptible obscurity might have
come forward to the highest distinction,
if idleness had not frustrated the effort
of all their powers.
No better cosmetics than a severe tem
perance and purity, modesty and hu
mility, a gracious temper and calmness
of spirit; no true beauty without the sig
nature of these graces in the very coun
tenance.
Courage that grows from constitution
very often forsakes a man when he has
occasion for it; and when it is only a
kind of instinct in lire soul, it breaks
out on all occasions, without judgment
or discretion.
To insure long life recreation should
be a part of our daily life. It makes tho
busy man thoughtful and the thoughtful
busy. It insures health, success, and the
accomplishment of more work in less
time, and better.
The Simple Nati ves of Jamaica.
The natives of Jamaica, says the New
York O!.server, are ingenious and skillful
with their fingers. They make many
pretty articles for sale, which can be
bought for very little. They utilize the
palm them leaves in many ways, making from
liats, and pretty fans, ornamented with
hand Kay wools, dainty little baskets with
Us and covers. These they weave
ot strips basket or white, ,>■>),„ with making the body of
the a colored
of strips dyed red and yellow or black.
They also carve well, and some of the
se:s of jewelry, tiny vinaigrettes, and
rosary beads, made from the root of the
“groogroo carvings palm” relief are exquisitely equal done,
with in almost to
tbe best Swiss carvings. They are emi
nently clever a people adapting of expedients, the various and tropi- are
very at
often cal growths from to their railroad needs. and Living
far a on an
island where needful things cannot al
ways be procured, they set their in
genuity to work to furnish sub-titutes.
The coarse, fibrous network which hangs
from the baso of the cocoa leaves, they
call “eoeoa/mt strainer,” and use to
strain milk, rum punch, coffee, etc. A
cucumber-like vegetable, full of soft
fibre, they cull the “Dish-rag” plant,and
scrub their kitchen utensils with it.
They cut the husk from around and the
eoeoanut, ravel it out into a brush
polish floors the with cashew it. They around wrap the
leaves of tree meat to
make it tender, and hung butter in a
draught they frequently in a porous clay vetsel, insure which rapid
wet to
evaporation, ice, and ami have thus hundreds cool it in of the labor- ab
sence of
saving plans of a like nature. They are
clever at making pottery, and use the
clay “yabbas,” a kind of earthenware
bowl, in lieu of pots and kettles, doing
most of them their cooking sizes, in them. beating They
make of all for up
cake, shape washing tea-things, and also in the
of large jars, for various purposes.
Pitchers for water and filters are also
made in this pottery, some of which are
exceedingly graceful both in moulded shape and
ornaments, with ears of corn on
the sides, and other designs.
Amiable Side of George Washington.
When Washington, after the Revolu
tionary War, visited was traveling Hartford, through Con
necticut he staying at
the Bull’s Tavern there. A boy came
into the kitchen of the tavern and said:
“I want to see General Washington.”
The functionary on duty did not pro
pose to let any mere boy see General
Washington merely for the asking, and
said as much.
“But I have a note for him,” remon
strated the boy.
“From whom:”
“My father, Chief Justice Ellsworth.”
“Oh—well,” and the functionary re
lented. General Washington read the
note and said to the boy: will “Your father
invites me to dinner, 1 do more
than that, I will go and breakfast with
him.”
And he did the next morning. And
after breakfast he took the twin sons of
the Justice, each on a knee and sang
them the “Derby Bam,” an old Eng
lish ballad, day,” beginning: and setting “It forth was on a
market that the
Bam of Derby was so big that the birds
built nests in the wool on his back and
tbe butcher who undertook to kill him
was drowned in the blood.— AAio York
Tribune.
Imitation maple syrup is made from
glucose soaking by adding hickory, an extract obtained
hark, b F or sometimes maple
in water.
NO. 43.
A GREAT INVENTOR.
He had U startling genius but somehow it>
didn’t emerge,
Always on the evolution of things that
wouldn't evolve;
Always verging toward some climax, but ha
never reached the verge:
Always nearing the solution of some thema
he could not- solve. ,
And ho found perpetual motion, but a cog
wheel sot awry
Burst his complex apparatus and he could
not get it fixed;
And ho made a lif'eelixir—if you drank you’d
never die—
But the druggist spoiled tho compound when
the medicine was mixed.
And he made a flying vossel that would navi
gate the air,
A gorgeous steamer of the heavens, a grand
aerial boat,
A matchless paragon of skill, a thing beyond
compare,
And tlie only trouble with it—he could never
nmko it float.
And lie found a potent acid that would
change red dirt to gold;
Rut the tube from which ho poured it had
some trouble with it’s s piirt,
So the gold held in solution and would not lot
go its hold,
And the dirt in dogged stubbornness it still
continued dirt.
And ho made a great oathoiicon to cure all
disease,
A general panacea for ovory ache a.'<d pain,
But first he tried it on himself his stomach
ache to ease,
And it killed him very quickly—amt he did
not try again.
— S. W. Foss, in Yankee Blade.
PITH AND POINT. f
A country scat—The top fence rail.
A patient man—One in a doctor’s office,
A doctor must understand all tongues.
When a thin man visits you, lodge him
in the spare room, of course.
A sick burglar is very loth to call a
doctor for fear that he may give him up.
“Mine, miner, minus?” This is the
upshot of speculations in mining stock.
IVhat are ministers good for? They’re
good because it is part of their b isiness.
The exact quantity of tho lion’s share
is not stated, but it is all the lion caw
get.
When a woman is trying to write a
letter on a half-sheet of paper much may
be said ou both sides.—AV/ie JJacen News.
“Talking That’s is cheap,” clear. they say:
not so
Just hire a jawyer
And you’ll find it dear. Judije.
—
“ A 'OUJ.e
difference,
watch-dog. Well, not much; they are
both kept on the bark.— -The Oce&n.
This world is but a fleeting show,
And no wise man regrets it, V;
For man wants little here below, ■:
And generally —Somerville he gets it. Journal.
Ingenious thing, this English lan
guage. When you hear a citizen say:
whether “Oh, he’s a is good talking man.’’you of pugilist can’t tell of
he a or
a deacon.
A criminal lately executed in England!
protested bis innocence on the scaffold,
and his last words were that he was a
good and faithful subject of the Queen.
The subject then dropped.— Mftinys.
“.NotliiiiK is over lost,” Walt Whitman sings;
But poets have peculiar views of things;
Few will agree with him who’ve had buck. ill luck,
When they tho frisky tiger tried to
— Huston Courier.
Brown made a bet with Wagerly that
he could cause nine out of every ten
men who passed a certain building that
day to touch the structure. Wagerly
accepted the bet. Brown simply hung
out the sign “Paint.”— Judije.
A lover thought culled upon a Miss, bewitching,
And she looked
H i longed so much her lip* to kiss,
He chased her round the kitchen,
But fell against the red-hot stove
As soon as he had kissed her,
And He though he burn thought the kiss was bliss,
found the a blister.
— Siftings.
Overtaxing his brain. Old Mrs. Bently
—“ Did you hear, Josiah, that theyoung
student who has been boardin’ at the
Hendrickses’ is very sick?” Old Mrs.
Bently—“Yes, I heard so; what’s the
trouble with him?” Old Mrs. Bently—
“Studyin’ too hard I s’pose. 'Hie doc
tor says he’s got information of the
brain .”—The FSpod .
Air. Hoar—“I would like to ask the
Senator from Florida what is the mean
ing of the provision that the Academy of
Dental Science shall charge nothing for
any service rendered to the Government
of the Fnited States?” Mr. Call— “That is
a literal copy ot the law in regard to the
National Academy of Sciences.” Mr.
Hoar “ Does it mean that they shall cut
;be eye teeth of my honorable friend
from Iowa gratis Uongremional Record.
A Famous Pear Tree Dead.
The world-famous Endicott pear tree,
planted by Governor orchard .fotm Endicott ou
the ancient farm at Danvers New
.
‘Milts in 1630 ©r 1633, is dead. Tradi
tion has it that 1630 was the date when
the venerable evidence tree was planted, hut Endicott there
is also that Governor
did not break up the "round for his
orchard until 1633. There is no doubt,
however, of the that, great antiquity of the
pear tree, and it was from 250 to
260 years old when its last vital spark
went out. The tree stood on the north
bank of the river, about half way between
the Mills and the railroad track. It hud
but one rival—an ancient pear tree at
Truro, on the sands of Cape Cod, planted
prior to 1044 .—Boston Journal.
Redhead is the name of the richest
man in Hutchinson, Kan. He made his
money in baking powder.