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WD-SULLIVAN, Proprietor
RATSJt »r SntSCltTPIIOJL
ingle C C L • } J
dingle tingle 0 months!) *^o
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t-sT TertisiiiB ra ■L 1 i9f
and JO PRIXTIm,
to auit t times. ABF
Strikes are aoSLj^wL^ unite noDer onlv strike ri»ht ^ti ■
Strike to
Strike forjbur ’
manhood, honor and fame „„Lj
Strike right and left, ’ till vou * win
name :
Strike off^pa^TwKSlSiie for your freedom from all that i. vU.
Strike '
Si.-ike with thrhamHH^^ee^L burdenimi* axe
Strike off had habits with
strik. «, n. tm, n V Mk .« rm.
*•*«. iwr JKv «.
-TTr:
MISCELLANEOUS.
, IN PERIL.
“I’m getting into terribly bad habits,
Dora. Breakfast at half-past nine. Just
fancy my indulging in such hours three
years ago, darling, before the world made
up its mind that I painted respectable
pictures, and chose to pay me according
ly.”
And young Melville Austin rose from the
breakfast table at which he
his wife were sitting.
“Fbope you file going to remain at home
this morning," Dora, said in a soft, coaxing
tone, that well became her petite figure,
and blonde haired, girlish beauty. “Do
you know, Austin, that yon have not
painted an atom of canvass this week?
your new picture of Antony and
, r
“Ye* my love," j the young artist
“I plead guilty to have
shamefully neglected Antony and Clco
patra ; but this morning’s engagement will
not occupy much time, and I shall be home
in an hour, I trust ready to begin work,
in the meanwhile, Dora, if that model of
whom I was speaking should make her
just ask her to wait in the
studio.”
“Inin anxious to see this divinity, Mel
ville is.td le so ywy beautiful ?”
“After* certfifo type, yes," the husband
carelessly. Then, with his
haousdmih'aeifTff'u’f.'th a sudden bright
ness, he added in lc>.et to * e *:*4‘ You
iVora, •.'"****' whose beauty ’jyaF'Jb '• In the.svorl- afib.Ty
canYrKoouphly ,
™*; '
For some time after her husband’s
departure that morning, Dora Austin re
mained-buned in what, judging from the
l»appy smile that played about her mouth, !
and danced in the blue depths of her ter
der eyes must have been thoroughly
agrcable thoughts.
- woman so blessed?” she mur
i n p 11 ' * asking the question
oi her own heart. ‘Three years to-morrow
.W we were married and still the same!
V i°t ° VC * roln dear H‘ ,w
fhelisb t v I i was ever to dream that his worldly ;
successes would cool the ardor oMhatlove!
noThing!" Nothing can ever change lum— I
“The | * has >• ;
yonng woman called, ma’am,
and is now waitting out side. Shall I show
lwrffitoMr. Attstin’s studio?”
Dora's meditations had been abruptly
broken by the voice of the stately butler,
who stood at her elbow.
“Oh ! you mean Mr. Austin’s model ?”
she said, a little confusedly- “Yes James
Ibelieye yo.:r master wishes her to wait in
the studio till his return. By the way,
Jeaaes, you may manage to let her pass
through this room. I wish to see her.”
The man bowed, and departed to xeeute
Mrs. Austin's order, returning presently,
followed by a poorly-clad woman, of whose
face Dora merely caught a momentary
glimpse as she hurried towards the ail
joining stndio
“How beautiful!” the young wife mur
mured; SHe s^med “and anxious what a t,o face fox Cleopatra > !
escape my notice, I :
poor woman! I wonder if she is ashamed
of her vocation? You told her, James, did
you not”—addressing the butler, who re
turned at this moment-“that Mr. Austin
would return very shortly?”
es, maam. , M
ameswas no a sent from the breakfast
room fiVe minhteS before be again made
is appearance there. A rather shabby
man desired to see Mrs. Austin. Should he j
admit him .
But the ceremonious butler had scarcely
.
finished speaking when a gruff voice sound
cd from the entrance of the room.
A rough-looking, heavily-bearded man
was standing on the threshold, directly
opposite to Dora, wlio was seated near one
of the windows. i
"You may go, my good fellow ” the
roan said. “I’ve particular business with
Mrs. Austin.”
z-*
The words were gasped forth somehow
K° m :v, a * T ", ,'- e 1 ? w I* 16 ? servant ddW,,y
overpowered his mistress, he was too well
framed to man.test the ieast surprise, and
quie ly "dhdrew from the room, rfosihg
the door after h,m.
“°h heaven lis it you, Mark Dillon? 1
thought you dead—1-"
She had risen while speaking the above
words, hut the hoarse whisper in which
d d f
had finished, and Dora n Austin fell heavily
forward in a dead swoon at the stranger's
feet.
The sound of her fall was quickfv
by that of an opening door at the further
end of the room, a» Mr. Austin’s model,
wealing a startled look on her beautiful
lace, lyjrried in |r.*i the adjoining studio,
But the Ftrangei’: hack -.ra; turned to her
■ Democrat
e
Vo\. 2
l as he bent over Date figure of Dora,
Nor was he a the woman's pres
ue in the apartment until she touched
ITl.. 1 * th<i shoulder ' *** d in * rather
tiuud voice . said, “Is the lady ill, sir? 1
I * ea y® as ’ Ms' w l*** 1 T° u here . *“ he * rd
® Uen The man bad suddenly turned
. *?*“ Awards the speaker,
while still
. Oustin', useless body,
. 1 ° ’ L ,7*^ ’ 6e eontinue<i ’ sternly !
\ .""St “ JEi “ _ .. » •
finished
Zi?snx- rv,v ’ m ’ words
Trembling in every limb, tho woman
answered, pleadingly : “I had no thought
of following you, Mark, I never imagined
that you knew this lady. I—"
“Leave the house instantly. Ellen!
Don't hesitate a moment, bat go at once.”
The woman shuddered, and turned to¬
wards the door leading into the studio.
“I raav explain this matter to you some
other time," the man continued: “but re
mcniber.T warn yoo against remaining in
tbiShsuse a moment longer than you can
help."
When the studio door had closed behind
the woman’s retreating steps, Mark Dillon
once more bent over the white face of Dora
Austin. A faint shiver convulsed her frame
at this moment, and while hia gaze was
eagerly fastened upon her countenance, the
silken lashes slowly lifted themselves from
her eyes.
"Then it was no dream,'' she murmured,
hdarsely, rising from her fallen posture,
assisted by the man she addressed. “You
have come,” she presently continued, “to
reveal all to—to Melville Austin.”
She sank backinto an arm chair now,
with a weary, gasping sigh.
“1 haven’t come to do anything of the
sort, Dora Dillon,” the man said, with a
kind of sullen emphasis in his gruff tones.
“I don't wish to claim you as iny wife.
You believed me dead, three yeais ago, and
married Melville Austin; there’s nothing
particularly culpable about your conduct
as far as I can discover. I shall be the
last one, depend upon it, my dear Mrs.
Austin, to reveal anything disagreeable
concerning your antecedents/'
“And why will you reveal nothing?
t5, e*e be no disguise between us, Mark
l/nSBAfit* - \ a %r Amis Afamtei
thoroughly. You came here this morning
to sell your silence. Isitnotso?”
.. Y ou are perfectly right, Mrs. Austin
or Mrs Dillon. Which is to be, by the
*•„»■>•■
uis tones ware defiantly supercilious;
his keen cruel M were fixed the
agonized woman with something of . ser
pent s pitiless RMe when tUe pr ,. y j. wlthln
e aS y distance, and possession has become
a certainty
Dut Mark Dillon started back, with
amazement, as Dora answered him, flowing calmly,
scornfuIly and decisively> ' in the £
u ldl||| I10t d celve the man
whom 1 owe all the happiness I have ever
enjoyed iu this world—^the man whom I
love, honor and reverence, as only a natrtffe
likg Melville Austin is worthy of being
regarded. When f iharried him, Mark
Dillon. I acted upon my firm conviction
of your death. Now, I knew myself to
hare been in error, and but a single course
remains to me. The instant that Melville
Austin returns home, I shall inform him of
the truth.”
“Are you mad, Dora Dillon?" he ex¬
claimed, every trace of his supercilious
manner gone, and nothing but a sort of
furious surprise remaining. “Are you mad,
thus to throw away the position you have
won—to make of yourself a beggarly out¬
cast?--to—”
Enough of this, Mark Dillon, she inter- „
***
”' “ Ah ’
mv L hush.nH
, “f” had 9udde .. "'y entered ihe
apart ment ' ° at «>e when-prt*
countenance , &**> a , '“° k of amaz, ' m ‘ ;nt
ovpr ;P^ :ad hls own - Then, turning to
wards the stranger, t wno stood beside the
chair in which she was seated, Mr. Austin
said : “It strikes me that I heard your
voice, raised in rather a disrespectful loud
tone, as I stood in the hall a moment ago.
VVere you addressing this lady, sir ? Dora,
who is this person?”
a slight tremor shook Dora Austin’s
frame, and her ghastly lips quivered for an
instant. But only for an instant. She had
risen now, and was addressing Melville,
who listeIul silently until she had ceased
speaking, stupefied, doubtless, by the
dreadful import of what she uttered.
“That man, Melville, is my husband.
Five years ago,before you and f had ever
met ’ I,OTerty had reduced my mother and
myself to the last stages of want. On my
rss is Tt
become his wife. We were married, and I
scon discovered that my wretched, friend
less P™ tion had «*•» ^changed for one of
still greater misery. I had become united
to a ffian fr om whose vile, wicked life my
w^ede nature turned in loathing. Oneeven
ing, in a fit of drunken fury, he struck me.
That night I fled from Uis house. During the
year that followed,I succeeded in supporting
myself comfortably on the proceeds of
needlework. Two months before chance
™ * ith you -
Melville, I had learned accidentally of my
husband’s death in France. You know
what followed. To-day I lean, for the
time since our marriage, that Mark
Dillon lives. ”
“Oh, God, can this be true?"
The words seemed wrung from the
depth of Meiviile Austin’s agonized soul.
Staring first at hi? wif y , and *heo s/ the
(Vawfordville, February 1,
moody, crestfallen man beside her, bis face
expressed the keenest intensity of mental
sufering. And now the Icy calmness
with which Dora bad spoken melted U
passion of *>1*.
t»wneds her husband's side, sbe
murmured, brokenly: •‘Before we part,
Melville, say that yon forgive me far being
the cause of so much future wretchedness—
for having uronght to your noW. Mart a
sorrow it has so little deserved.”
“*"*• Dor * t We murt not “ we
with ■
Wild, impulsive movement. At th* sai
doer of the audio
unclosed wad a woman's voice cried out in
dear ringing tones, ''Mr. Dillon lies, lire,
Austin, when he dares to call himself your
husband ! 1—wronged, deserted, as I have
been, am none the less his lawfully-wedded
wife, married to him seven years ago. bet
him deny it if he dares. You need not
scowl and glare at me,” the woman went
on, hotly; “what 1 speak is tha truth, and
I do not fear to utter it.”
A low cry of rage escaped Dillon’s Ups as
be sprang towards the woman who had
spoken. But with a blow of iron, Melville
Austin’s hand hurled him backward. For
a moment the villain stared at his wife's
protector with a tigerish fierceness In his
dark, dangerous eyes, and then, like the
coward he really was slunk from the room.
And from the house, too, never entering it
again. An hour afterwards his wife, Ellen
Dillon, followed him, against the earnest
untreaty of Meiviile and Dora.
“He will boat me when I return to him,
perhaps,” she said, with a mournful
smile on her exquisite face, “but I must go,
nevertheless. It seems like a curse,
times, that in spite of his brutality and
wickedness I cannot hate Mark. But
whenever I think of our child at home, 1
believe that this weakness is all for the
best. I can guard him against imitating
hie father; and who knows what a eon's
influence may do in future years ?”
Her sad words left Dora and Melville
grave and thoughtful for a long time after
her departure.
“That woman loves him, Melville," the
wife murmured, at length, in slow, musing
tones—“loves him in spite of all his villain¬
ous treatment. What a marvellous mystery
love is F*
Marvellous, indeed, Dora!”
“Did you really mean, Melville, that
nothing should part us—not even the
knowledge u* jeing another's wife—when
yepppoke as passionately jqst before Ellen
Dillon entered f.om iheatuuiov" ‘ f
Her left hand stole into his, her tearful
eyes were fixed upon his own, with eager
questioning in their blue depths.
Melville Austin's answer was spoken
with unhesitating fondness :
"I meant that, if all the world had strven
separate us, Dora, I should still have
struggled to regain you. Until to-day, 1
have k..ow the strength and power
my love.”
His arms were clasped about her now,
and she was sobbing forth her thankfulness
upon his faithful breast.
A Chinaman stepped into an icecream
saloon, the first he had ever seen, and
called for a dish of the cold delicacy.—
He gulped down several great mouthfuls
before realizing the frigid nature of the
article, but when the cold took good
hold on bis vitals be sprang from bis
seat and rushed into the sunshine to
thaw out, exclaiming; “Whoopee—coole
glub likee debil—fleezy bellee alle same
like ice-wagon I”
Engaged couples traveling through
this place should ascertain the length of
the tunnel under the canal. This is
suggested out of pure charity, for the
other afternoon a young man attempted
to kiss his girl in the temporary darkness,
but the car shot out into the full light
of day, and one of the beholders cruelly
asked him if the tunnel wasn’t too short.
— Trenton Gazette.
A Philadelphia woman is suing a
horse railroad company for damages.—
She was thrown down in a car by a col¬
lision, breaking her leg. The company
introduces proof that she was not grasp¬
ing the straps, or she would not have
been hurt. She swears that her corset
was so tight that she could not reach up
to the straps.
Recently a minister received a minis¬
ter’s half-fare traveling card, as they are
called, and wrote to the superintendent
asking “if he could not embrace his
wife also.” The superintendent replied
that he thought likely he could, but did
not want to say positively until he had
rr tta t,’ r, “ ~
fa9t, dK>US „ in his tastes.
Appearances . often ... dece.tful, ..... but .
are
when a man who is engaged to a red
headed girl is seen at midnight with both
arms around a lamp post, telling it, it is
too sweet to live, it is usually nfe to
presume that a kind of temperance
bitters has been introduced into that
neighborhood. “
, _ _
“My boy, tell us what you know about
“ rat tan ?” said the Committeeman,
lt i8 , somet, ,. “» f * ca,led ,, . the ,. ,,, CaIa . “ us
Eottan * ?’ comf ‘ 8 from Sam a
rang, and Padang, and is used by the
master in this school too dang often.”
* —
Why is the letter G like matrimony?
fc ved
Balled Alii
It to a l wa j srer l tl. a fee of
tbat * e inR 0Vm
and the f »' : hit a burial
had tafcwitaM tefwv- i th had ac
tually claimed Rsvtettm „d yet such
cases are of store frequent occurrence
than » generally .uppe*, >
Some very rtntnge cm of
« d man " cr «»
which the facta were br- ugtat to light,
have f^f immIIi th^LTr. mnn m utt**, irUb 1 , 11 c
Af< A T °V tt * BBt.arkable r. eof of these these
are w preaenbed as skov mg to what
an extan th* Blunder ILa of late yeers
been carried oaf In tl/$f United States:
The last I
•HftTLT HOItnn 1 K CASE
Was that of a lady, 1 name of Sira.
Roberta Alnslee, of Nrftv Orleans. The
lady bad been sick for, some time with
a malarial fever, and was at the end of
ten days pronounced dead by her physi¬
cian, as all signs of animation seemed
to be suspended—the body was cold,
the pulse stopped, and the lips were
bloodless. Mr. * Aiimlee was himself
sick at the tinm and could not attend
the funeral of his wire ; but a few days
afterward be called the old negress who
had attended hdr In her last illness, and
made her give him a detailed statement
of the facts.
After listening tp her story, Mr.
Alnslee Mated that he had had a strange
dream in regard |o fiis wife, and he was
firmly of the k»pi ronton that she had
been buried alive.
So strong a held did this dream take
upon his mind that as soon as he was
able he, in company with a few friends
and an undertaker went to the vault in
which the body h id Iteen placed, and
opening theTarge box in which the coffin
was confined, that receptacle was found
to be sprung at every joint, and the top
almost pried off. Upon opening it the
body of Mrs. A fslec was found to l>e
lying on its face - ud the terrible expres¬
sion the face bau upon it gave evidence
of the struggle that must have been
made for freedom. Sarcely less mourn¬
ful are the consequences of the sad dis¬
covery. Mr, AWlee is now a raving
maniac.
nMijv ay****,. jg ft.. A non hick.
A short three v*ars ag<T Miss Addle
Carter, the daughter of a well-to dr.
in Middie Tennessee, to all ap¬
died, and was burled. The
lady had on her hand at the time
beautiful diamond ring, the gift of
betrothed, and it excited the cupid¬
of a negro on the farm to such a
that he made up his mind to
it. This he could not do with¬
out exhuming the body, and that lie did
at night. It seems that after he
burst the coffin open he was, on
of the swollen condition of the
unable to gull the ring off, so,
out his knife, he attempted to
the* finger.
The lady, who it seems had only been
a trance, was brought to consciousness
the cutting, and, giving a scream, so
the negro that he fled.
Miss Carter then, after many painful
succeeded in getting free from
grave and in making her way home.
effect upon her family can be im¬
and her lover, upon hearing of
case next day, at once made her his
wife, and she now presides at his table
Mrs. Collins, with nothing to remind
of her dreadful fate but the scar
upon her Auger.
ONE or THE MOST PAINFUL CASES.
Of ante mortem interment took place a
few years ago in Philadelphia. The
lady, a young Quakeress of good family,
had apparently passed from this world
of sin and sorrow, and was iu an ojien
coffin placed In a vault, amid the
of ber ancestors. Nearly six
afterward the vault was opened to
ceive another tenant, when a sight met
the eyes of those present that will
be forgotten by them.
On the steps of the vault *:it, or rather
reclined against the wall, all that
mortal of the young iady. She had
wakened from her trance, and unable
find her way to earth again, had sunk In
helpless despair upon the steps, and then
when hunger had pressed her, she had
fed upon her own flesh, aa it was
”** “** b ' r **"*• ” d —•
literally eaten to the bone.
A VERY SINGULAR CASE.
A g|n?ll!ar CMe
miniater mnut > tw0 vear „ ago Ihort in Mon
N ' J J. After a
2*™^' ““ *7“ , thought made to . for . his , . .
^ Ut ^ ^re ^ ^ ^ man was on
iD * trnnce ’’ and 88 the undertaker
making ready to screw down
lid of the coffin, he discovered
twitching of the supposed dead
e > e ' ,ds ’ “ d remedle * t ** n
applied, the gentleman was restored
f«*l We and vigor. He described
vividly his feelings at the time, as
said that he could hear all that was
iug on around him, but could not
until! th* last moment.
No. 5.
Two cases came to us recently from
Europe < I most heart-rending burials
be 5 0re death ' of whlch the Di 't" ltch h «
taken cognizance, and which prove moat
conclusively that doctors are not al
ways the beat judges of suspended ani
matron.
~
A Desperate Fight.
t>rasty, a tobacconist, ZrmT?!"** and W. P. Robinson,
* merchant, occurred in the latter’« store In
Danv,lte Va • « Tuesday last. 0rm8ty
w formcrly K obinson’. clerk, quit a year
w utiout settling accounts. He called
on Robinson for this purpose today, but
Robinson refused, stating that Urasty ha>l
forged his (Robinson's) books, and he did
not intend to pay him anything, Graaty
thereupon struck Robinson, and when he
advanced to retaliate Orasty drew a pistol
At the same time Robinson produced a
bowie knife. Orasty then fired and broke
Robinson's left arm, but the latter stabbed
him several times in the left shoulder and
arm, and nearly cut off his little finger
Grasty kept up a promiscuous fire ami
Robinson at last dodged behind the counter,
being unable to fight any longer. Both
parties are well connected and stand high
In society. Being separated, physicians
were summoned and the combatants
wounds dressed. Both men are painfully
but not seriously.
American Toys for Europe,
In former years a large portion of the
toys used in this country came from
Europe. Now the trade is the other
way, and the Old World is buying large¬
from America not only the peculiarly
America t invention, but also the toys
formerly were made abroad. The
trade in toys, which amounted
last year to over one million dollars, be¬
five or six years ago. The principal
of export are the mechanical or
“clockwork" and the Bteam toys, but
arc also large shipments of tin and
womlen toys, most of which class were
formerly imported from England or Ger¬
many. The reason of this change is
that wood is much cheaper In America
than In Eun»i>e, and machine work
faster than hands. Tho latter reason
also applies to the increased sale of me¬
chanical toy*.
Modern Connubial Evolution.
First Week Dear, Dear, Dearest
Mary,
Second Week—Dear, Dear Mary.
Third Week—Dear Mary.
Fourth Week—Mary.
Fifth Week—Mary, you are mistaken.
Sixth Week—Marv, that is silly talk,
Seventh Week—O, woman you talk
a fool.
Eighth Week—I want the buttons
on my shirt cuffs, by—
Ninth Week—Take awsy your cold
!
Tenth Week—.What! cold meat for
Don’t you know a good beef¬
from a bad one f
Eleventh Week—You’re a fool 1
Twelfth Week-(Separation. Mary
goes home to her father.)
Twelve Months— (Grand Finale.) John
calls on Mary with a revolver. Bullets,
blood and police.
The New York Fashions.
In the balmy foretaste of spring once
more interposing pleasantly, though un¬
seasonably, this week, between the freez¬
ing terms of the present phenomenal
winter, the ladies of the metropolis make
daily effective displays of their new toil¬
ettes on upper Broadway, Fifth avenue,
Fourteenth street and other fashionable
promenades. A properly critical ob¬
server of the pageant at once observes
that skirts are, very sensibly, worn
much shortes than formerly ;that jet for
trimmings and coral for jewelry are
much worn. Valuable furs apj>ear,
chiefly as trimming. Felt Lats, witli
naj>s of varied consistency, and bonnets
of blue brocade silk, seem to be about
equal favor.
A Fort Madison man went into his
cow stable tbe other day, and by mistake,
mixed her up a nice mash in a box full
of saw-dust instead of bran. The cow,
merely supposing the hard times had
come and they were all going to econo¬
mize, meekly ate her supper, and that
man never discovered his mistake until
the next morning, when he milked that
cow, and she let down half-a-gallon of
tur]*eiitine, a quart of shoe-pegs, and a
bundle of laths.
. . , ,. * gentleman from
a ru
ra , county . who down to New
*
York to spend the Sabbath with friends,
was asked by one of them what the I**
pie up his way thought of the Beecher
scandal, fie replied that he never tried
jt and didn’t know anything about it—
that he and all his neighbors burned
kerosene 0Sfe '
An exchange says: “We are in re
ceipt of two poems, one on the ‘Throb
bing Brain,’and another on a 'Bleeding
Heart.’ We will wait until we receive
one on the 'Stomach AcLt,’ and publish
all three together ”
DEMOCRAT.
ADVtRTItlliti RATUt
Square, Square,eachsul>sequent first insertion . 9 1
Square, insertion. J Si
three months 10 oo
Square, Column, twelve months . II uo
twelve months . , 30 00
Half Column twelvemonths . *0 «0
Column twelve months , . 100 00
tvf One Inch or Lest considered aa m
We have no fraction* of a sqaaro,
fractions of squares will be oountod ae
Liberal deductions made oa C on
Advertising.
An Bqoine Toper.
A burse that sadly needs the attention
of the Muipbyites is mentioned by the
Pad ucah Xact ; -Being 8 ick wit h colic
la8t .ummer, 1* was releived by being
drenched with whiskey, and he immedb
a tely developed auch a love for the
‘ardent' that he has had to be supplied
with it regularly ever since. When the
round trid from Paducah to Bland villa
is finished, he lies dowu in bis stall and
will neither eat nor work, even refusing
to rise until he gets his‘bitters.* >*
A lady who objects to profanity, Un¬
cause It Is both wicked and vulgar,
writes to know what she ought to say
when a clothes-line breaks and Ms a
week’s washing fall in the mud. She
to say, “Blessed are the meek, for
shall inherit the earth but proba¬
she will not think of it.—Rom* Sen¬
“Why didn’t you put on a clean col¬
before you left home T” called out aa
young fop to an omnibus
“Cause your mother hadn't
home my washing,” was the extin¬
reply.
Tommy, a conscientious boy, has been
that he must remain perfectly quiet
his mamma wants to take a nap—
(in the middle of the nap)':
Mammal What shall I
V I want to cough I”
Don’t neglect your penmanship. A
in New York got 801,000 from a
for l>eing a good writer. It It
yet known how many years he will
A Memphis prisoner, who hated to ae«
lawyers disgrace the court-room by
walked out, and was unfortu¬
enough to get lost, lie has not
heard of since.
“Now uiy little boys and girls,” said a
“I want you to lie very still—so
that you can bear a pin drop.” In a
moment all was silent, when a little bov
cried out, “Let her drop 1”
“Don't you think,” said a husband in
a mild form of rebuke to his wife, “that
women are possessed by the devil F”
was the ariswir, “as soon at
a rh married.”
“Mamma,” said a precious little boy,
against his will, was sot to rock
cradle of his hahy brother, “if the
has any more babies to give away,
you take ’em.”
“That was very greedy of you Tommy,
eat your little sister’s share of cake 1”
“You told ine, rna, I was always to take
part,” said Tommy.
-- mt ♦- mm
“Ah, parson, I wish I could carry my
gold witli me,” said a dying man to hi*
pastor. “It might melt,” was the con¬
soling answer.
A Detroit reatauranter hangs out *
sign of “free chops, ” and when the old
loafers come around he shows them an
ax and a wood pile.
Shakespcar said, “there is a tide In the
affairs of men,” but it apiiears to lie
pretty much all tied-back in the affair*
of women.
What is the difference between an
accepted and a rejected lover ? The
accepted kisses the Miss, and the reject
misses the kiss.
A Chicago mau advertises for a wife
with a knowledge of music, and remarks
that no “Maiden’s Prayer,” or “Silver
Threads” kind of a gal will answer.
An editor, a very religious sort of a
chap, awoke in church, and yelled out,
“d—n it, more copy f”
What does a young fellow look like
when gallanting his sweetheart through
a shower ? A rainlieau.
What is the difference between a man
and a tired dog ? One wears a coat, tha
other pants.
What workman must always have hi*
glass before he can do a day’s work ? A
glazier.
The extreme height of misery is a small
boy with a new pair of rubber boots and
no mud or slush in reach.
“Well, there is someting in that ” Z at
^^t the man JTh said I when kTuen he tried to put
in it
A doctor was asked to dance the Lan¬
cers; he declined, but expressed a wil¬
lingness to lance the dancers.
Two oysters In a gallon of lukewarm
fluid at a church fair are no longer oatied
stews, but aquariums.
Don’t marry until you can support s.
husband, is tho advize an oxuhu-yje
the girls.