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THE
A Live W tSikly Paper on Live
P ublished Every Friday Morning,
at Crawford vflJe, Ua.
W- D- SULLIV AN -
BAT£ij OF SUBSCRrPTIOX:
Single Single Copy, (one year.) . . . S 2
Single Copy, Copy, (six (three months.) . . . i
months,) . . .
»■#" Advertising rates liberal.
and JOB PRIXTIXG a special tv.
to suit the times.
MISCELLANEOUS. f
f: ~ ~ —
JENNIE’S MISTAKE.
Jennie lluntley sat thoughtfully reading
letters. Her father nnd brother had
long since finished their breakfast and
to their daily avocations. Still
did not move ; her barely tasted coffee
grown cold, and the spaniel, Floss,
in vain for his usual knob of sugar.
% cry pretty was Jennie, though now; an i
frown contracted her delicate
The male population of Coin wood
n vt i— mm g when they declared her -
be the belle of the town. Not often j
you meet ijsiUi Such a pure-tinted
yh h mSsew dark plaits, eye*, such such
or
j>k'r e C t]y.p de^Twuat , -op 0< fg(jj^^ajp S!fter lre
teble
household occupations, ,
She neglected nothing. The pantry 1
was duly inspected, stores were given out,
pastry was made, and the necessary amount
of dusting was accomphshed But during
thc performance of these oustomary duties,
i< r faca never lost its distrait, preoccupied
«. 1.4
lie* an offer of marriage. The
offer was from a genileinswi whore she
rcsjiected much, but cerfsbriy rhj, did net love.
11c was, though, very and the owner
of consideraWc proix ity in the lwighlior
hood. I
Then .by the first p«t that morning had
come censin'o^Tr ,7'Zor. He! !
from t 1» otb
howerel had neither land nor money to
tioast of, being by profession an artist, and
at prese*ty>(plyaa unknown, unappreciated
VQ Sewfcy -
Hence Jennie’s difficulty. She,
lik.-il her rich tWv«7ifi(t a1 ** 1 f° T the con
trariety of human nature, she loved her
jtoor one. But, then, all her life she had J
to pinch and contrive, and manage. Her
father was a poor doctor in a poor parish,
aud every pofudHits patients paid him was j
spent in anticipation long before it found
its way into his waiting hand. j
A new pair of gloves or a new ribbon j
was a subject for deep rejoicing to hU i
pretty daughter, while the canning turn-i
iug» aud twistings and retrinumn^s that
her bonnets a ud dtesges underwent would
fairly have astonished a young lady of j
more ample meads.
Consequently, a sharp temptation flow
assailed her. Should she hid adieu to
poverty, ad aliabbiuess, and second-rate l
living, and accept George Morley, and with
him the certainty of a splendid home,
riages, plentiful jewelry, and all those
countless luxuries Hint wealtli alone ean
purchase? Or should she —bravely resist-j
ing the enticing prospect- • consent to tie
come Guy Morley’s wife, and liny her
pre »i c - an l sympathy soothe ami eiieour
age him in his struggles and disappoiu'
ments ? '
It was liar*! to decide, and all the morn
ing she hesitated and wavered. In tin*
irresolution was no longer possible. Yet
even with her desk open and writing niateri
sis ready, she paused. What should she do?
Which Should it be ? At last, with pale
face and compressed mouth, she dipped her
pen in the ink and wrote two short notes,
And tlic one of acceptance as for George
Morley nnd the other one of rejection was
for his cousin Guy.
Tlrnse dispatched, she hoped her mind
would be at peace. But no, she felt
wretched, and miserable, and in the
twilight, when slie pjayed to her father and
sang his favorite old ballads, her voice had
a harsh, strained ring, and suddenly, in the
midst of the concluding verse of “Auld
Robin Gray,” she broke down completely
and burst into tears.
“Why, Jennie child, are you not well?
Is anything the matter, dear?” exclaimed
Iier father.
“I—my iiead aches. I will go to bed, I
think. Good-night, papa.”
Once in her room the pent-up feelings so
long repressed had their way. Now that it
■was too late, she would have given her
right hand to have been able to retract her
decision. Position and comfort, dresses
and diamonds of what value would they be
to her without him?
A sleepless night passed, and she arose
tired and heavy-eyed. Every knock at tin;
door, every ring at the hell, caused her to
tremble with fear and apprehension. She
must except an early visit from her favored
suitor; she must expect him to arrive
radiant with triumph, and how should she
meet him?
It was evening, but he had not come.
Her father liad been called to a patient at
some distance, her brothers had gone to
attend a lecture on vivisection, and Jennie
was alone in the drawing-room.
She couid not sit still; so out through the
open French window she stepped, and
aeross the smooth-cut grass
At the end of the lawn was a moss-grown
path, and up and down this she paced, her
dress of grey making her moving figure
distinctly visible against the sombre back
ground of an ivy-colored waji.
Tbe sunset hour was past, the opal hues
of the sky were darkening, when a step
on the gravel startled her, a man's figure
came hastening toward her.
Instinctively she recoiled and would
have fled ; but in a moment she was folded
in strong arms and hot kisses fellon cheeks,
and lips, and brew.
“I—I-” she began trying to release
herself.
The waning light revealed who it w as
that held her in such close embrace. Res
istance was at ahead then.
Shc Jorgot that her troth was piighted
elsewhere—forgot everything but the
present ________ rapture, . as she , let , . her . ... head droop
forward or Ghx’s breast
The Democrat
Vol. 2.
‘'Oh! my darling—my darling!" ho
murmured in passionate accents, what
have I done to deserve such happiness ? I
scarcely dared to hope that you would be
mine, and when I had vour sweet little letter,
1 think I was nearly delirious with joy for
time.”
“My letter? Why, it—why, I-"
You expected me before, dearest! You
thought me a tardy wooer, did you not?
But I have strange and wonderful news to
tell you, only now I can think of nothing
but you, my beautiful one!"
“Oh! Guy, stay—stay. Hare you my
tetter with yon ? Let me see it, please?"
Reluctantly, and with many fond
he withdrew his arms and
the precious epistle.
She read it and her hhishea were whccced- j
by a deadly pallor, as »lie discovered
Kt the letter of ac- ‘
had reached “G. Morley, Esq.,
of Mrs. Prett, Laburnum Cottage,”
the letter or rejection had gone to “G.
Murky, Esq., Petterwood Hall.” Their
initials ami surmams being the sa me lmd
rendered such a miscarriage perfectly easy
and unddetectahle.
as they were! Should she say no word,
but allow her lover to remain in blissful
ignorannee of her former mercenary
determination ? No one had been in her
confidence; even her father had been
of the receipt of W tiy i proposals, i
But honor amltoynlty wlii»iie.red nay. She
“K had" become” anTwould
have drawn her to his side again, hut she
stepped back. I
“No, no, wait. I—1 have something to
say to you." |
Very low and quivering was her voice.
cs, darling, I am listening, but do not
try my patience too much. You have not
given me a single word of welcome yet.”
Whiter she grew.
“I made a mistake. 1 did not write this
letter to you.”
“Did not write that letter to me, Jennie?
Oh, Heaven ! what do you mean?”
He had sprung forward and grasped her ■
arm so fiercely that she winced with pain.
His face was ghastly, and his eyes were
fix<»d on her with wild«*ntn»atv*
“I lmd a proposal of marriage from Mr.
George Morfey, and 1 wrote tills letter to !
accept it.”
“And wlml'was my answei, ‘their?**
hoarsely interrupted.
“It—I said I was sorry, but 1 could not
be your wife, but-’’
Ho staggered hack. The revulsion of
feeling was too much,aud he felt stunned
and dizzy.
For the first time since she liad begun
her explanation she raised her head and
looked at him. With a cry she sprang to
him. 1
“Oh, Guy, forgive me, forgive, it is you
1 care for, you 1 love. 1 have been so nn
happy ever since 1 sent the letters. It was
Ins wealth tempted me. 1 have been so
poor all my life, and I thought it would lie ;
so nice to be rich ; hut when I had written
I saw my wickedness. I know I could
never be happy with him, and I did not
know what to do. I have been dreading
that lie would come all day, and 1
afraid to see him.”
She clung to him in agony ; but he was
passive and silent, lie,iking no motion to
hold her. ’
“Oh! Guy, speak -to imd” she mmuml;
“say you do not utterly despise me.”
Gently he disengaged her hands, slowly
he retreated a pace.
“You would have thrown me over lie
cause I was poor; you would have married
George because lie is rich.
“Yes,” slie faltered, standing like a
criminal before him, her bosom heaving and
her fingers tightly entwined.
“You would have done violence to your
own feelings; you would have deceived
him by a pretence of affection, when nil the
while His wealth was the attraction?”
“Yes,” came the low, pitiful whisper.
“And I—I should have been treated as a
daring, presumptuous fellow, who—’”
“Xo—no! I never should have thought
that. You do not know how bitterly I
repent. Oh ! forgive me, can
no longer love me V
She waited, her very attitude pleading
for mercy ; then sadly and with lagging
feet, she turned to go.
Scarcely a dozen yards liad she proceeded
when with a hasty stride or two lie liad
overtaken her.
.She shrank away.
“Spare me any further repronche*. You
ane cruelly just; for a moment of weakness
you would mete out a lifetime of punish
ment.”
“My darling !”
She started and turned, and the love she
thought was forfeited forever, she knew
was licrs still.
“1 must tell you my news now, dearest.
1 ,ia<1 a telegram yesterday summoning
me to London at once. 1 went ami found
it; " its from a firm ,,f lawyers. They in
formed me that a distant relation, from
wl »om I had not the slightest expectations,
had di,;d and 1( ' ft me a lar «e fortune. I
stayed just to sign a few papers and hur
ried back, for 1 was eager to have your
answer, ft was waiting at my lodgings;
ami, as soon asl read it, 1 came straight
: here. So you see, dear, you will have a
riels husband after a!!.”
“Hush! Hush! Don't, please don’t!
she begged.
“Forgive me, dear one! I . was wiong to
speak so. But you forget that you have
not yet sealed your promise to me.”
“What do you mean ?”
"Not one kiss base i received, and I
have- heart, been very patient, due J think Sweet
I claim tny now.”
She lifted her rosv lijis and the tea! was
set to their betrothal
Crawfordville, Georgia, February 8, 1878.
The Deaf Editor.
The editor of the B'alkJy TUepAeue is
very deaf, which prolmbly adds to his
native irritability of temperament. One
day when he was busy at his desk. Writ
ing a scathing reply to a rival editor,
who had not only sneered at his ability,
but called into question his honesty ami
veracity, Jones dropped into his
sanctum.
“Fine day.” said Jones, seating liini
self by a table and beginning to
among the exchanges.
“Fire away ? Of course,” said the ed
itor, “got to keep firing away, if you ex
pect te run a jiaper. ”
“But soon we’ll feel the autumn
Mast,” continued Jones, raising his
vnfce * ,ittle n [ mM of the
editor’s luhrmity of hearing.
‘’Yes, I read his blast—got it right
here, but I’ll warm him, the scoundrel!”
Jones, seeing that his remarks were
misapprehended, was silent for
a j j^tle time, wliile the editor’s pen was
traveling at the rate of forty knots an
*»» •«* ,»oU,. t w.
“ The Telephone is rich in Attic wit.”
u The JAtphorie ought to quit criwl
the editor, turning round *in his chair,
“Never 1 Do you suppose that I will be
silent while the infamous puppy who
iung driveling sheet across the way
makes me the target for his vile attacks V
X °’ sir ' 1 wil1 sUoW hlln U '’ fn ,,is true
for tlie execration of the comimin
ity.”
“I see I am misapprehended,” Jones
screaming, rising to his feet.
“Who ought to be apprehended ?”
shouted the editor, springing from his
clmir in a mehaclng way . “i Ie is the
culprit. I could send him to prison for
libel if I wanted to. Don’t talk to me.”
And lie threw himself into his chair anil
commenced to write again with liglit
liing rapidly.
Jones liegan to feel very uneomforta
Me, and lie wished that lie lindn’t come
tll(ire at a „. „„ wan(ort to leave,
do n t like to do so under , sue f i a cloud, , .
so ^ ,e utaile one more attempt to set
himself right with the editor
“I’ve taken your pi.per ever r.in< »• J*
begun,” said Jones.
“M’lio’s a big gnu V You don’t
that insignificant ink-slinger a big gun,
do you ?” flinging a look of derison
his shoulder.
“My wife can hardly wait to get it
out of the mail,” shouted Jones, dcs
peralely.
“Your wife thinks l ought to go to
jail V” yelled the editor, hopping to his
feet again nnd shaking his fist in Jones’
face. “Confound your wife, and you,
too. Who sent you here to interfere in
my affairs V Leave my office before 1
tlirow you down stairs!” And
left without daring to chance any futlier
explanation,
A Parrot Story.
Two sailors, who had a parrot with i
them, went , mto . , magician’s . . . show , ir
a
ll ^ r loom ,n s0,ne fore, K" c,t y* The
constituted . the audience. After
" - l ’b feat of the magician’s one of the
sailors would remark :
“That’s pretty good. Wonder
they’ll do next?”
Finally one of the sailors asked per
mission to smoke, which the magician
granted, forgetting that in the room Ik-
neatli was an immense quantity of gun
powder. The Jack tars and the parrot
continued to enjoy the show, one sailor
adding the pleasure of his pii>e, and the
other remarking after each trick ;
“That’s pretty good ; wonder what
they’ll do next ?’
A spark from tbe smoker's pipe chanced
to drop through a crack in the floor into
the powder, and something suddenly oc
curved. Sailors and magicians, parrot
and all “rose above party prejudices,”
and were all blown to kingdom come, in
a million fragments all except the poll
t He landed in a heap of bruised
flesh and burnt feathers in a potato
patch three miles away. lie was utter
ly demoralized. It took some moments
to collect himself, and when he had par
tiully done so lie hopped lirnpitigly upon
a fence rail, and remarked :
“That’s pretty good. ° Wouder what
tiiey'll do next ?”
On the Jist of December a pedestrian
of Brush street came across a boy about
thirteen years old who was try ing to get
U p a Moody battle between a goat and a
The man halted and said ■
“Boy, what sort of way is this to end
...
lne ola •
• But the goat kin lick if lie’s a mind
to sail in,” protested the bov.
“No matter if he can, you ought to
feel ashamed to cud the veur in this man
ner.”
“Wliat time is it ?” queried ‘ the lad.
o cloc., • , wto t re answer.
‘X me hours vet to repent m . Go for
him Watch—stand up to him Hilly!”
yelled the young imp. Detroit
Press.
Now L the time to subscribe, only ?•>.
He 3ET Strictly Honest.
A citizen «of Jabs R. street not only
keeps a sc oofeor more of bans, hut the
family ta ke* |>ride in them, and the
slightest nw«e in the back yard at inid
night A moriing arous^every o»two bince inmate of the looking house.
a weary
old chap catlc.l at the side door with a
dead hen in uis hand, and when the
servant girl had summoned the lady of
tbe bouse he said :
I was walking down the
alter Just a*- a boy jumped over your
fence with fi tt dead hen in his hand. Ii
am poor ami. hungry, but I’m honest,
madem. *S§; jj#U s hen belongs to you. She
will make a beautiful dinner. Task
for no rewag-i, madam, though the smell
of cofTee a^st makes me crazy with
delight. rj |
“Those Del istys—they ougiit to lie
shut uj^ 1” qttlaimed the indignant lady,
“So they bad, madam. It is a sin to
murder a j^hig and healthy hen ill this ,
sudden manyier. I could have taken
the body mtt'sold it, hut I would not do ;
> - -
hungry wolf, but 1 «m honest,
1 herb is yoaf hen, lady, ami although I
need He fooiFlJkTli laid. tfc£ hen not beside -.” the door and
was going «*.ay when she asked him to
come ill and jrefbreak fast. He accepted
the invitatjyi. cleaied the table, and
h |“! ^ th °
gul called t -her mistress :
“AVhy tid, ben is frozen as solid as a
rock, and uily about half of it is
here!”
The lady Investigated, saw that it was
“corpse” vdk.eh had been kicked around
for days, ** as she rushed to the front
gate, cheek, there but D was a bright red out spot of aiglit. on each j j
man was —
Dctroit-JiSwa Ortas.
Cured b§ a ‘ Put Leedle Dogs.” I
We read * ce of a man who ordered a
bottle of hab-wash, and one of cough svr- j
up, and gottiie bottles mixed. The lmir
oil cured hbjcough, and the cough syrup
made his ha grow. Here is a story of
a mistake q#5»o as lucky and laughable :
ie-mi.it, while j mftering
from a piilnSrtairy attack, sent fora pby
sician. In K Short time the doctor called
on him, prescribed two bottles of cod
liver oil, and receiving his fee of eight
dollars, was told by the German, who by
the-by lmd not heard Hie doctor's pre
script ion very well, supposed he could
get the oil and treat himself. The |
doctor saw no more of the patient for
some time ; but one clay riding past the
residence of the German, he was pleased i
to see him out in the garden digging
lustily. The case seemed such a proof :
of the virtues of cod-liver oil that lie
stopped to make more particular inquires
about it.
“You seem to lie getting very well, i>
said he addressing the German.
“Yaw, I ish well,” resiwnded the
formerly sick mail.
“You took as much oil as I told you ?”
queried the doctor.
O yaw, 1 have used as many as four
gallons of dog-liver oil ! ’
“The what?” said the astonished
doctor,
“l>e dog-liver dat yon said I shall
take. I have killed most every fat little
dog I could catch, and de dog-liver have
cured nn;. It is great medicine, dat
dog-liver oil!”
The doctor had nothing to say, M,t
rode quickly away,
— •
An English lady was so imprudent as
to walk down stairs and open the kitch¬
en door. The cook resented the intru
Mon >-i et orrnia H vtrbia. >She told her
mistress that the kitchen was not large
enough for two women, and ejected her
from the basement. The lady of the
house discharged the cook without delay
and engaged a sulwtitute. The cook at
once brought a claim in the Runcorn
County Court for wrongful dismissal
Jibe said she had lived in Liverpool and
Manchester, and never had had a mis
tress who presumed to enter the Under,
“No lady,” she piped in a shrill voice,
“would do such a thing.” The Judge
promptly dismissed the claim for wages
and remarked that a household would
be intolerable if such grievances were to
j x . ^dressed.
Six hundred dollars is the fortune the
average Chinaman marks out for him
self. He knows nothing but silver.
He won’t touch checks, greenbacks or
nickel. The common dollar lu; will
have nothing to do with. The Cali
fontia coin alone has charms for him
When his 8000 are earned he takes his
tiag on bis back and starts for home, to
and 1,ve ... " k . . ^ . u,te .
,narr >' '’ a as
many Chinese leave for borne as arrive
at Man Francisco.
^ bill fixing the. per diem pay of members
of lhe SoHt |, < arolina Legislature at
(Jo! p arH { „. r Uay, has, lieen referred to
committee.
Whew are eyes not eye;;? Whew
No. (j.
Pacts Worth Remembering-.
One thousand shingles laid four inches
the weather will cover one hundred
feet of surface, and five pounds
shinglenails will fasten them.
One-lift h more siding and flooring is
than th‘ number of square feet
surface to be covered, because of the
in the tiding aud watching of the
One thousand laths will cover seventy
of surface, and eleven pounds of
nails will nail them on.
Eight bushels of good lime, sixteen
of sand and one bushel of hair
make enough mortar to plaster 100
yards.
A cord of stones, three bushels of lime
a cubic yard of sand will lav UA,
feet of wall.
Five course of brick w ill lay one foot
height on a chimney. Nine bricks
a course will make a line eight inches
and twenty Inches long, and
bricks in a course will make a Hue eight
wide and sixteen inches long.
A tea. I«b™ by 10 i.,,1,- »„»,».
28 inches deep, will contain a bar
A box 28 inches by 15 1-5 inches
and 8 inches deep, will contain
bushel. i
A lwx 12 inches by 11} inches square, j
0 inches deep, will contain a half
"7f- A box 8 inches , bv , 8 Inches square, 1
8 indies deep, will contain a |ieck. j
A Imix 8 inches by 8 inches square, !
4J Inches deep, will contain one
.
A box 4 inches bv 4 Inches square, and
inches deep, will contain a pint.
. * ——
L° S3 g* Walk to Get Married. !
The Free Grant (X. V.) Oazrtie says
domestic event has transpired there of
interest, to our seclinhsl com
namely, the marriage of Miss
Lamher and Mr. John Vaughn. To get
marriage license, the bridegroom
walked from his place rtf 1 future rest
five miles from Heggsboro," to
Burk's (nine miles). Mr. Burk not be
ing at home, Vaughn was sent to where
he was working, a distance of twenty
miles from the residence. Mr.
Burk sent him hack to the house for a
and njvui his return gave him a
ami Vaughn proceeded with it
to the bride’s, eighteen miles fur
ninety-nine miles so far. Then
went to the Kev. Mr. Gilmotir’s, a
of twelve mile", where they
happily united, and returned home
her house—another twelve miles,
for her, twenty-four miles, and
him, one hundred and twenty-three
in the ardent pursuit of matri
mony. Needless to say that all this dis¬
tance was traveled on foot.
A I’ffi’nlar misapprehension is that the
Arlington estate, formerly the property
of the wife of General Hubert E. Lee,
w:is confiscated by the Federal Govern¬
ment during the war. It was sold by
the Government in 186!! under the direct
tax law for $05 of over due taxes, the
Government becoming the purchaser.
The money to pay this tax was tendered
by the friends of General Lee. but was
refused by the Government, which sub¬
sequently converted it into a national
cemetery. The trial of the ejectment
suit of fieri. Custis Ta n, will take
this spring, and it is lielieved it will
suit in his obtaining possession of
property in question. Should he do
the United State* will, doubtless,
chase the estate, as it contains the
mains of nearly sixteen thousand
soldiers.
Disfranchising the Mormons.
IVASiiinqton, January 25.—The
committee of the House Committee
Territories yesterday heard Judge
ingway for two hours. He took up
fiction law of Utah, section by section,
an, 1 pointed out the features of the law
complained of by the Gentiles, and
trusted its provisions with tliose of the
before the committee. Delegate
Gannon will reply on Monday next.—
1 he objects of the bill are to secure
secret ballot to the people of Utah,
Urn act of the Territorial L
tnre giving suffrage to women in
Territory, and to disfranchise
* s ^ s -
’Two and two never make more
f '" ,r ’ ;i r >ubli(; soaker.
<>'>.” , «ned a boy in the audience
“ I,51 hapsour young friend will
tell us when two and two make
«»» ll ‘ ind,y the
whereu!*on the boy cried, “When
sulc by side, they mako 22, don’t they
“J supiHisc yon miss your
very much,” he remarked to the
ing relict. “Mias him! Of course,
do - He was very useful in attending
the fire, winding up the clock ami
ing out the gas.”
Mints-meat — “Tli* dollar of
latheni..’’
THE DEMOCRAT.
AUVURTIuIXC KATU 1
One One Square, first inseitWu ? I
One .Square,each three jiilxM-quentiJiacjlJiMi. months 7S ub
Square, Square, to t<>
One twelve months . 13
Quarter Column, twelve months mouths . . jo tw
Half Column twelve *» 60
one Column twelve mouths loo y»
IjP~ One Inch or Less considered aa n
square. W'e have no fractions of a square,
all fractions of squares will be counted
squares, Liberal deductiuus made on Cob
tract Advertising.
Little Things by Josh Billings.
A kross word i* a little thing, but it
ii what stirz up the elephant,
A kind word iz a little thing, but it la
jusi what soothed the arrows or the
setting hen.
An orange peel on the sidewalk U u
little thing, but it hat upset many m
giant.
An oath Iz a little tiling, but it iz ce
corded in the grate ledger in heaven. »
A serpent’s fang iz a little thing, bat
deth iz its victory.
A baby iz a wee little thing, but a
constable waz once a I«l>y.
A hornet’s sting iz a hi tie thing, but
it sends the school liny home, howling,
A star iz a little thing, hut M kaa
hold this grate»WurU in its snaa
A fcung iz a little thing, but itiiiU thw
universe with trubble.
An egg iz a little thing, but tha hugs
krokerdile kreepe into life out ov it.
A kisa iz a very little thing, but it be
t rayed the Sou ov trod into the ban da or
his enemy.
Cabbage vs. Guano.
A gontleuiHH fioin the country brought
» wagon load of hard head cabbage to
town Friday mid Bold them without any
dilBculty. lie took the money and
bought a load of Soluble Pacific Guano
from Messrs. J. W. Wheatley <Sfc Co.,
A ‘° Hd "f c " bh *«« for “
load of guano. That • busineas.-rium
ter Utpubltcnn.
Au , ' x< ’"' si " n traln > returning from »
. I . Sankcy lneciing, nl Hartford,
o.« y am
the Far'ndmrton "lUvcr p»ssang«” Two emriiios cim one
i,„ KRIlgr three went
down. The accident occurred at a trestle
bridge orosHlnp; Fnrmliujjtfm itfver, JuhI
wrHl 01 t,lf ‘ of Tariffvllle. Thirteen
wnr " kUled R,ul u lai W« number very
* cr * <, u*ly injured.
^ ^ ^ _
“Yes, gentlemen, certainly, of eojinw,
said a seventh street clothier. “If you
want a pair of pants stop right into my
pantry; if a vest walk right up to my
▼estry, and if a coat -hero, Jacob, show
this gentleman into the coterie. This
way, this way, gentlemen.’’
• —
“Well, may I hope, then, dear, that at
some futuro time / may have the happf
ness of making you my wife ?” “You, I
J liopa so, I’in sure," she rvpliwl. “for
I’m getting tired of suing fellows for
breach of proinitw.”
Two darkies took shelter under a tree
during a heavy shower. After min*
time one complained that he felt the
rain. “Neber mind," replied the other,
“dele’s plenty of trees. When dis on U
wet through, we’ll go to the Oder."
“At what ago were you married ?”
asked she, inquisitively. Hut the other
lady was equal to the emergency, afid
quietly responded ; “At the [Birsonage.*’
If we keep on turning out West Point
officers we shall have to enlist a private
for a lot of them to command.
“l”a, is it true that when I die I shall
go to Jesus?” “Yes, my little son.”—•
“Pa, who sets the table tip there ?”
A Brooklyn girl lias lieen arrested for
burglary as if a young woman had no
right to lie out with her jimmy.
Sf a young maw wants tonee his name
in a paper, let him get married. Ho
will never enjoy his death notice*.
The uniform telegraphic rate tietween
France and Germany is now four coats a
word.
lu Kansas they are said to lie burning
corn for fuel, ami find it to lie cheajer
than wood.
Great Britain and her colonies have
contributed over 85,000,000 to relievo
those suffering by famine in India.
• —
They are making exi>erirnonts In Farliq
with every prospect of success, in
casting of type in toughened glass.
Silence is not always golden,
oyster is continually getting into broils
a id stews,
Beecher has gone West. Jealous
husbands along the route have taken
due precautions.
—*■—- —*
Not many women are blacksmiths,,
but most of them can shoo a hen.
The latest furbelows are for anklets.
Ain't that getting too furbelow ?
■
ivint a few raw a famine mthevster
I rru| kot would -'us e.
___
When is a room like a street ? When
it has a cab in it.
When is a man like a wheel ? When
' he’s tired.
An end that very few hanks come
Dividend.
When is a mother a father ?
the’s a