Newspaper Page Text
The Democrat.
k Live Weekly Taper on Live Issues
Published Every Friday Morning,
at Crawfordviile, Ga.
H. Z. Andrews, Proprietor.
BATES OF 8UBSVBIPTI0X:
Single Copy, (one vear.) . . ■ S 1 30
Single Copy, (six months,) . 73
Single Copy, (three months,) . , . SO
. W Advertising rates libera!. ROOK
nad JOB PRINTING a specialty. Prices
sait the times.
Hotel Oatds*
^LINARD HOUSE,
CLAYTOX STREET, YEAR VOST-OFFU K,
ATHENS, GEORGIA.
for Rooms Commercial all tutpeted. Good sample rooms
Travelers.
A. 1). CL1NAUD, Proprietor.
RATIONAL ATLANTA, HOTEL, GEORGIA,
fe. T. WHITIL proprietor.
This House is now complete with its im¬
provements. viz.: The addition of a third
story, giving thirty-three additional rooms,
capacity now seventy-five more, with every¬
thing fresh and bright and all the modern
Improvements. situated the Depot and
Being near houses. The con¬ X.y
venient to the business
tional, newly renovated nnd refurnished,
offers superior inducements to the Travel¬
ing Public, day. Special rates for
longer Rates, 62.00 per
time.
flvlIE I GLOBE HOTEL,
VOlIM.tl EtGHTH AXD BIIOAI1 STREETS,
AUGUSTA, GEORGIA,
is centrally located, and within five min¬
utes’ walk of all the principal Business
Houses, Banks, Post Office, Public Build¬
ings, Union Depot, Opera House, Telegraph
Otty-es Sf and Express the Office. door, going to all parts
reel ears pass
of during the city tile day. and vicinity, every live minutes J
The House is supplied with Modern all the Hotel, con¬
veniences of a a first-class
and is especially well facilities located, and provided
with all convenient for Commer¬
cial Travelers carrying samples.
Each room connected with the office by
hells. Tdephoi e attachment with the city
and Summerville in tlm office for the. accom¬
modation of guests.
G.S. ATKINSON & SONS, Trop’rs. Ky.
Foimerlv of Ob-mcns House, Danville,
Railroad Notices.
Georgia Railroad
-AND
BAN KING C.
SlTEIIISTBNDEXT'S UFFICF., I ^
ACointa.Ga., Nov. .'ith. IK,SO.
SAOMMK.XCIXti M NDAY, 7th in.laid,
V j Hi., following p.issenger schedule will
*>e operate!!:
Kl 1 WEST—HAIJ.V. SO. 2 EAST— n.Ul.V.
l.v, Augusta !t::l.‘.a m l.v.Atlanta 7:l.‘».a in,
Macon icirt nlnd ml “ Athens a nn
“ Millcdg’ll H:.3Sa “ U'wf’ini 12.-.H p nr
*• WMi'i’ii lOG.Via III Ar.Wash’s'll 2:10 p >n
A-r.U'f'dv’ll 12:31 pm; in! “ Milledg'll 4:4 3 p ill
: At Inns ;|.:I0 p : Macon 6:43 p in j
- Atluata 3:45 n in : Augusta 3:47 p in
no. i WEST—DAll. y. KO. 4 EAST— DAll.v '
.
l.v, AMgiistiTffirto p in Lv. AtlautTi s:45 p m ;
V v - < i r .' V. v ; H
Ar. Atlanta I O.00 il ill .\l. AUJJUSta I ,0W ti 111
1ST Xn connection to or from Washing¬
ton oil Sl’NDA VS. -i
JS. k: JOHNSON, E. R. DORSEY.
Superintendent. Gen. l’ass’ger Agent.
M >l V 2,1*711.
. ................. ..... ■ ■■"" i 1 —'A 1 ■■■"■-- ■- " ’ "■s
LAMDRETHS’
1184 SEEDS If sold in K BEST town,
not them your by mail. jrom
can got Card far Oat*- Drop
us a Jhtsful
%)(ae and Prices. The Oldest and mott extensive Seed
Grower* in the United States.
»AV11> LANDKETIi 4c «ON8,PKUbi..Pi.
oct.27,’80.j-y.
TkdlPurcaf and Mrdicine ever Hade,
drakts Aeolmbin&tton ot Hops* Buchu, tht^best Man
and Oandslion, with all and
"iiikeeX.tho most cluratlve properties of all other Bitters,
greatest Blood Purlfk>r t l?v#f
ng u » V a tor» a”d late earth. Health Keatoring 1
/x^eut
Wo disease an possibly long exist where Hop
Bitters are u« varied and perfect are their
open L ‘on&Ci__
ji c - „ te / \uafaa5lTt^crt5ti»agsJ>sJlafir.i. ^hvyments lrrc"nlar*
lo all whose cause
'ofthcbowelsor ,i *y organs, or *“ho r e
ADiKtiaer'ml ^ and mild St) ulan
HopBUte™^ Auirean lri ,
I without into
loatlng. Ko uiAtter what w your » f©N \ lings or ffympt.ms
are what the disease or ail ment id use Hop xJifc
* ten. Don't until you aB 1-e hut if you
f only feci bad cr x^iscra:* i *'-,M uset:iein once*
It may sa re your life, * >,in dreds.
gKOO will Le P'id T itcal se they h will r lot
cure or help. Do not suffer m 0, * 7°™" flemis
suffer,but use and urge them^k' ,S ’ J Mop r*
Remeaiber, flop Bitters is
drunken nontram, made but the the **I!SV* Purest^^ n " *U®h I'cf
Medicine ever ; family^
and HOPE" and no person or
should be without them. rrwcgw
D I C.i^ an absolute and Irresistible cu re
forl)runkcixni‘8s,use of opium, tol^cco an n a
narcotics. Aii sold by dru^t*. Co., Send
for Circular. Hop nitfor* 5Ifp. M
^hbmhi* 1
GUAY’S SPECIl-’IC MEDECIXG.
TRADE MAR, T ll e l-rea t TRADE MARK
English Kcni
failing cure for
Seminal Weak
- torrliea, Impo
VO- tency, dj^ases amt all
- that ' rrs>
-
HID»E TMIM-follow, as a AFTER TAKIMfi.
sccpicnce of.Self-Abuse; as Jiossof Memory,
Dffii'ness 1 l<? Age,’
Dimness of ot Vision vision, Premature i remaiure Ohl
t n ,l“ a 7 S ,b, S S 1
( Consumption, and 1 a Pre.nat u re
Grave pamphlet,
pg~ Full particulars in our
whicli we desire to send free by mail to
Pverv one. t-vf" The Specific Medicine is
sold by all druggists at 81 per package, by or
six packages for 85, or will be sent free
toiail on receipt of the money by addressing.
THE GRAY MEDICINE CO.,
Mechanics’ Block, Detroit, Mich.
t*T Sold in Crawfordviile and every
Vvhere bv all druggists.
Noy,21,1870.i-Y.
$ r*.\W fcwaV'DWrjVjW y\ \\ f \\
S
,-,uj»,,:,«ini,n.:»iBi«x
»««>• of •* a F.v.!e: <......e- I Vrrsia
,r.T SefoCTi^D V. r*. ride
cmneramv d. Nrerilifj. A r t - r.
> -m. ■.
rr"; V-.J
•
Iri. xiv- ’ “ Prjiratc Medical Adviser” diicavc* abtrtc—lhe r<t
s eg l n ii7>| U'c '-x-.ai as*"-4ti -t.s a i ' ti
- \ •
; -ti**
•Al.4'4. A 5
April 8. ’81. i-y-
Vol. 5 .
Turrs
PILLS
INDORSED BY
PHYSICIANS, CLERGYMEN, AND
THE AFFLI CTED EVE RYWHERE.
THE GREATEST MEDICAL
TRIUMPH OF THE AGE.
8YNIPTON1S OF A
TORPID LIVER.
Pam Loss of in^ibeITenH appetite,Nausea,bbwels costive.
f vn th a dull sensation in
the back part, Pain under the shoulder*
Blade, fulin e ss a f ter ea ting, with a diem
cHnation to exertion of body or mind,
Irritability of te m per, ho wsyiri tsTLose
of memory, with a feeling of having neg¬
lected some duty, weariness. Dizziness,
flutt eri ng of the Heart, Dots befor e tHe
eyes, Yel iow bkin, Head ache^ Hes tle ss-»
ness at night, highly colored Urine.
IT THESE WARNINGS ARE UNHEEDED,
SERIOUS DISEASES WILL SOON BE DEVELOPED.
TTJTT'S FILLS are especially adapted to
such cases,one dofte efTects such a change
of feeling as to astonish the sufferer. the
body They Increase Take the Flesh, Appetite, thus the and cause Is
nourished, to on tliclrTonle Action system tbo
and hv on
IHfesthe duced. 1’rice Organs, Regular 35 IVIurray stools are Bf.T. pro¬
2a cents. Sit.,
TUTT'S HAIR DYE.
Gray Black Hair b}* or single Whiskers application changed of this toaOLossr Dyk. It
a
imparts Bold Drupgisas,or a natural color, by acts Instantaneously. of fl.
by sent express on receipt
Office, 35 Murray St., New York.
g XlKful »r. Trrrs HnOpU unrn <UI W of ■ailed ▼»! I ..hi, FKXB IbKmiJm application^ 1.1 X
n
-lpril 8, ’81. j-y.
r,‘3Tf«otT)SlJ* W f *r\ j''lJRSlTASlH' f *-e-» r r a
a * Y£)
r •
Gon)C ye
USA:
Proprietors aai EauulacluieisUinier Contract of tie
. •f li 9 m
r*. t
- ' /A
Bfr,' i ~mm A ::..G wm - jjF •
. • ■ A' Fi# *
|Vl if S EkS lutLcOHGl'fi B^yri Orcan. ttrxus En-ravcd no. i 10 , fro® rnrlu i
the 1.:ng. W 'I"ht C'A ■! r.hn«‘. -at)lie. £ut^iitvu lo days trial
--no better guarautec mid be givetr.
Shipped pi; j PM Directtor + - v m, * S>93. C'CiO
Xf lU Chureh, Hall, CbajMl mid l-atlor Or-,n*. Q?* uiA uj>«rda.
cent KINCPM ilesicii of Case. ..itn TalusMtt
tibtiHeiL T1IUEB i-nvliai r riliuvrovcaienti. Kla
ganily KTlilNGH, Wcigfat when boxed, ov*"
l t (K’0 ft'*. and «tne-|fi!r«1 oetnvp, full ngraff: i. ale, rox. wo«d
rase, all mu.-.4 coraere, beettf Iful varvej I ,and lyre, ber.vy a.<r
Bflntine and U>p moulding* all round the rase, bacV finished wine fu
front I'ull iron fr«-ncs f heavy extra lirnce*, itrnrovcU n> w n :t!e,
French grand action, fret desk, carved pedal,sollu rovrwwiwl mnuld
ivory kev front*,capped hawBers. Thirl* aRnrnlbcentUiwno
forte. In which every improvement that in auy way teud* b> the per¬
fection of this Instrument has been added.
We sell ItIRKCT and for C ASH, c nMO’ienttr ordinsrily are able t.v sell
this beautiful I’iano for lets than balfwlist li asked bj
agent* for an Inferior last mm ent. KnncinWr!;.» piano bus i.v«n
aad one-th'.rd octaves and t^rec string*, Is an extra large site, ha«
four round corner* and is a f.,11 r«*e*r od case. This style of lamtm
raent is uanaiiy Catalogued at from ta $1,000.
Shipped Directfor-S285.
W# Gaarantwo this Finno to be a* is In everv respect and t«
present as bnndsome an nnpv-aranc cc r» those aoltf for th-eo times
this amount, and we VYAKUaNT it in writing for Kiv* Vein, and
refer to the First National or IIov-,e Nation*I Rank of this criy a* to
tur responsibility. Sead for f ataJogne*. Annas**
The Meriden Purchasing Co.,
Meriden. Conn.
oct^T^SO.tf.
CELEBRATED
m
m- -:~A
. f? ’• If|fe - 4
- • . 7 . ■ ^ T/'XW *
w
eis&j STOMACH
I# cSSs
Shooting Chills down the Back.
DuH pain in the limbs, nausea, billlous
ness, are symptoms of approaching fever
and ague, rise without delay Hostet
ter’s Stomach /fitters, which substi
lutes for the chilly sensation a genial
wa, mtb ’ , ' e S ulu Jf l !'. e stou,a f h > f*' 1 i " 1 *
parts , tone to tlie liver, i lie
tlie stomach and the billiara gland being
restored to a bealthly condition, the dis
ease is conquered at the outset. For
sale by all druggists and Dealers gener
a | )y
1,000 MILE TICKETS.
OFSKStorsuimST. '
A lousta, April 5th, Tn‘H% 1879. )
n
AND .MILE th keys, TWENTY-FIVE «o<»< 1 < I- main
line and branches, at
DOLLARS each. These tickets will be
• lsg0fef , tf , individuals, firms or families, hut
not to firms amt families combined.
E. it. DORSEY,
May!', 187!). General Passenger Agent.
ear An experienced city Milliner of
The Democrat.
CRAWTORDVILLE, GEORGIA FRIDAY, APRIL 15,181
Miscellaneous.
Mark Twain’s Latest.
Tiiis story was told by him at the Bos¬
ton Papyrus Club;
Ladies and gentlemen : I am perfectly
astounded at the way history repeats
itself. I find myself situated, at this
moment, exactly and precisely as I was
once before, years ago, to a jot, to a ti
tie to a very haw. There isn't a shade
of . difference. It is the most . astonish- . ..
ing coincidence that ever—but wait, 1
will tell you the former instance, and
then you will see it yourselves.—Years
ago ! arrived one day at - a amanca. Pa.,
eastward bound Must change ears
there and take the sleeper train. There
were crowds of people there and they
were swarming into the long sleejier
train and packing it full, and it was a
perfect imi"itorv of rush i d confusion
and gritting of' teeth, and soft, sweet
a id low profanity. I asked the young
man in the ticket office if I could have a
sleeping section, and he
with a snarl that shriveled me up like
burned leather. I went off smarting
UU let this insult to my dignity, and
asked another official, supplicatingly, if
I couldn’t have some poor little corner
somewhere in a sleeping ear, and lie cut '
me short with venomous ‘No, you can't:
every coiner’s full—now dou" bother I
me any more.’. My dignity was in a
state, now, which cannot be described.
1 was so ruffled that—well, I said to
my companion, ‘if these people knew
who i am, they—’ But my companion
eut me short there, and said : “Don’t
talk such folly ! If they did know who
you are, do you suppose it would help,
your mightiness to a vacancy in train j i
a
which has no vacancies in it ? Ah, me, 1
if you could only get rid of 148 pounds j
of your self-conceit, I would value the j
other pound of you above the national
debt. This did not improve my condi-;
tioii any to speak of. But juid. riieu JI
observed sleeping that had tlie his colored pOGi’J'of^aj I j
car eye on me; saw
his dark countenance light np ; lie wliti 1
pered to the uniformed conductor, tn.net
uatiug with nods and jerks towards me,
and straightway this conductor came
forward, oozing politeness from every
> M,rp ’ S - M - ‘ c -“ l 1 bcofanyser
vi«? m\\ you have a Place in the
sleeper ?’ ,s ’ Sl1 ' ’ u ‘ ln llll,<b
Obliged, , . too; . give me anything-any
thing will answer." IIo said, “ Do | I
haV(J , l(jt | lin g , eft 1)|U U , e b|g f ; , j J y
stateroom, with two berths and a cou- 1
plo of armchairs in it ; blit it is entire
ly at your disposal, and we shall [. not
charge you any more than we should I ;
for a couple of ordinary berths. Hero,
loin, take these satchels alioaid." He
touched his hat, and we and the color- i
ed Tom moved along. I was bursting \
to drop just one little remark to my i
companion, but I held in and wait
fed. Tom made us coiufortublo in
that sumptuous great apartment, and
then said, with many bows and a perfect
affluence of smile, “Now is dey anything
you want, sab ?—case you kin have jes’
“f diifeience what it is. I said, Can
have some hot water and a tumbler
nine to-night—blazing hot, you know—
about the right temperature for a hot
Scotch punch ? “Yes, sah; ilat you kin;
you kin ben on it; I’ll get, myse’f.’’
“Uootl; now that lamp is it hung too
high; can I have a big coach candle fixed
up just at the head of my bed, so that I
can read comfortably ?” “•Yes sah,
“VC on her fro.Mle do’; yes, sah, an’ you
can j^s’call for anything you wants—it
don’t m ike no difference what :t is—and
dis whole railroad ’ll he turned wrong
end up an’ inside out for to git it for
you—dats so !” And he disappeared.
Well, w I . .... tilted . my head , , back, , . booked , . , my
thumbs in my arm-holes, smiled a smile
on my companion, and said gently,
.. We „ what do you say now Mv
"
. not . humor to .
companion »», in a te
spend—and didn’t. The next
that smiling black face was thrust in at
the crack , of „ lbe ,loor ' and lbls s l’ ee,;b .
followed: “Law bless you, sah, l know
ed you in a minute ! I told the eonduc
tali so. Law, I knowed you tlie minute
I sot eyes on you.” . “Is that so, my boy
(handing him a quadruple fee); well who
am I ?” “General McClellan !”—and lie
disappeared again. My companion said.
vinegarishly, “Well, what do you say
now?” Kight there comes in the mar
velous coincidence 1 mentioned a week
ago, VIZ., I was speecldess. And that is
mv m,uuml condition now novv Perceive 1 eiccivt it '•
’
136 Cathedral St. Baltimore. It is
with real pleasure that I add ray testi¬
mony to the great virtues of 1Veuroltjme
as a Specific for Neuralgia and Head
ache. .Such a remedy is a blessing, and
The Dog.
The dog is a digitigrade carnivorous
mammal. This trill be news to most
persons, Who had always supposed that
a dog was simply a dog.
It has been bruited about that the
dog is the best friend to man among the
i, n ite creation.
He pants after the thief. When once
)ie gptg j, 0 i d t)le ^y e j. g j, ant8
breaches ,*
A ' barking 8 dog * never btes-.that ‘ is
” i! >-4? , <egins to bile lie
- , 16 stops
* biting dog nev
er r" k! '’ and frtl swi'Inr reasons.
f lmt of * do il1 bis bite
* n c " re -
* 1 *
hp * n . vmiBlw S " . *° au “ fa8t
® t 1 . In,., ti k. F"’ f essi -M
™ 1 'Z7 insert !^ ttvth t l
1 lie , loves v hiabaik. Did , you
ThXkof aT^l^tmlike the bark
fa , E !*£ do-wood "7 i know this
r a T o *
theie aye m.,nv many kind, kinds of of dogs. lo s’
Eveiy dog has bis day, although dog
days last but a few weeks in the year, j
There inns* be a sirious error here. I
The Mog’s star is tlie dog's planet,
They planet so that their days come
while the star is in the sky.
They do not fear it. It is not a Skye
terrier.
^ ben a d°K enters a pitched battle he
uscs lhe do B ,s star -
Brutus said, I had rather tie a dog
and hay the moon than such a Roman.’’
lie tad seen the dogs roamin’ around
® n tkdbay.
T hey never get over tlie bay.
Sea y
A living dog is said to be lK‘tter than
a dead lion. There is no lyin’ about
(his, hut a dead dog is dog gone bail.
Tray was a good dog, but trays is
worse than the duce when it is against
- vou -
• Dogs were the original Avgotionls.
Theyjiave N never given over their search
1 ^ b "' ,log ,s a *‘ ubbor " .
. ot * bS,,y ,
,S " co,v • , *' •
A great many stories about tho dog
l.ave obtained currency. The man who
left pnrt of his clothing with the d>)g
has current.
.See?
Puppies ' ars born blind. They are not
.
*
There are many types of deg, includ¬
ing the dogueirutype.
But perhaps we had better paws here.
Howl this do for the dog ?—Boston
Truiwrijt.
«A Bad fold or Diatrewlug Cough.”
Dry, parched, wore throat, pneumonia, wcakcnini
' asthmatic attacks, ciirntT' Hy “7>r
dangerous symptoms are
^ayim’s Conipound sorolungsVrid Svrup of Wild ^to"ts Cher
^orst cough auil hcari
ii»K properties. An occasional dose of
inn.X*, torpid liver and free.” bilious Tlmy^rT cxcffikmt^ol
complaints.
_ Feminine . . Cynicisms. .
TZT*’ ‘ * 11,6 “** °' """
1,1 ” woman who has long been a
wife, death has no terrors.”
1 “No woman need despair of fortune
so long as she remains unwedded.”
1 “Many women would bo totally de
l>‘» v «d if they possessed the Lice to
* je -”
“Afarry in haste and repent at leisure
1,0 tru«r than marry at leisure and re¬
pent forever.”
“When wo go , to ,, the priest . , to . , be uni- .
ted, it is clear that we are in danger of
spiritual disru|>tion. ,,
“She who converts her lover into a
husband transforms a worshiper into
an intolerable despot.”
“We may love our lives without
safety unless we marry. Then we have
safety J without satisfaction.”
J be ,llt,mflle ," fff5C of ,narria « e U P’
bn man is to mak « “ U , won,en a M ,ear
lovely except her be lias married.
“The couples who want children have
;llready ^ rown apart uu;1 hoJMi t o be, re
united through tlie off-spring.”
“Tophet is a place where marriage is
eternal. Wedlock is not determined by
tlie facts but by the furies.”
“Tlie brightest idea we can have of
heaven comes from thinking that there
is neither marriage nor giving in
riage.” »
“The fact that women who wed once
and are widowed are apt to we.d again
oidy proves the force and tlie evil of tlie
habit.”
“How many persons marry a second
time to revenge themselves for what
they have suffered in their first experi¬
ment.”
“No woman is a heroine unless she
have liero by her side, and then her hero
-
by her side, ami then her heroism is a
pale reflex of her hero’s virtues.”
No. 15.
all hope of sympathy.
“Tlie reason a woman is alway* hope
ful, i* because, never understanding
heraelf, she netfer suspects that self
knowledge would reduce her to almolute
despair.”
‘•Women are born tyrants, and the
most Unendurable of tyrants from tlifcir
vv *akneas; They are bate sycophants.
likewise. Tliey bite the hand that is
lifted to succor them, ami kiss the
bled fist which wnicn ha* lias sii-m-L- attuck ji tnent lnn , .i down, n _.„ •’
Hundred* ot Men; Women aim Children
Be*«ed
from beds of pain, sickness and almost
?™ tb ""'J. *'"»«? b Y
deuces in the world of its sterling mirth.
v <>" «•'» t'”d these in every community.
‘ '**’ ^ ^vertlsemeiit
" ° btU,e Man -
She waf a stylish yriung lady about IS
TT't L* °° k 7' 1 ,w 7™'° u ,y ul,t fo ' a " ""'"'C- ^
W1W ,l «P a "' 1 »'■«
™ ° MM ' ,nan ’ V * ry deaf -
cauie along and inquired for a certain
jrnrson supposed to ilVa on that strWi.
bhe nearly yelled her head off trying to
answer him. and lie looked around,
caught sight of the baby, and said :
‘"Nice child, that. 1 supimse you feel
proud of him ?”
“It isn’t mine." she yelled at him
“Boy, eh ¥ Well, he looks just like
you."
“It isn’t minel” she yelled again but
he nodded In.' head and continued :
“Twins, ill ? Where is (other one ?”
She started off w'th the cab, but he
followed and asked :
“Did it die of colic ?"
Despairing of making h m understand
*'Y wonls of mouth, she pointed to tlie
Dstl.y, at herself, and then shook her
head.
“Yes—yes, l sou ’totlier twin in tlie
house. Their father fond of them of
course.”
Slie turned tho call and hurried the
"t!**' 1 ' "ay, but he followed a.-.d asked :
“Do they kick arouud much at
■ , .
I f ,el1 T0U U,n , 1 m,n# ! , ” «
-
j ed, , looking verj red in tlie face.
“I think yon are wrong there!" he
. -
answered. •'Children brought upon the
l»»tf le are apt to pine and die. ”
She started off on a run for the gale,
before she had opened it he came up and
tt8k „ ( . .
“Hava to spank ’em once in awliile, I
suppose ?”
She mad s about twenty gestures in
1 half a minute, and he hel|»ed the cab
, through the gate ;
j “Our children .were all twins, and Ill
: send my wife down to give you some ad¬
vice. You see—
Bllt gIl#pickad up a ftow#r t t)ld fl
»t at him. He jumped back, and si she
entered the bouse he called out:
“Hopo insanity won’t break out on
tli# twins I 1 *
-----------
i» r- Win. Alex. Greene.
j Macon, Ga., writes: * * I cheerful
t ly state that I have tested the virtues
: {practice SUflSSS in ■/if',/' of t% ftK
irwAness, (ffprcssioii, cases (f.i/speymu, general tWnlitij,
loss of
appetite and nervous afflict ions, when
medicine had proven more than useless,
' b ;| ve ‘ , " 1 l ‘jj ^mitl'i' Y
(S , d by j, r
Finding The Bond.
A man witli a grip sack in his hand
■'united before a Jefferson avenue fruit
stand yesterday, and priced a choice
I variety of peaches— When told that they
. . , , , . . ,
1,irns, * lf walked softly T’ aiotind and '
’
. l!^.
] r oll ,| i ... a *’ lsl ,,,,
'
™ .
f ’
1 Xt ’ llber ^ *■ , 1 T didn J . , , t know but
V' „ 4t lf . W f, b °' h '* °T ’ ."T
enomiiw ion ynu lro * ® * 11 e ‘
Do you lean to the Methodists ?” -
Can’t say that I do.”
“That’s my case. I never did take
B,ucl ' stotk 1,1 Methodists Methodists. Twenty J wentr ;
«"»»» dozen is an awful price on those '
peaches, considering how tight money (
is. I expect you are a UniteMalist,
eh V”
“Vo rt
fifteen .•
“Can’t you say cents for a doz
en, of these ?”
“Hardly.”
“Ain’t ynu an Episcopalian *”
“No sir.”
“Neither am I, hut I was afraid you
were. I’ve been sort o’looking you
over, and I shouldn’t won ler if you
trained up with tlie United Brethren.
Come, now, own up.”
“I never attend that church n was tlie
steady reply.
“Nor I, either. Isay, what are yon
anyhow { ’
. I m a hard-baked old sinner, ,,
“No! Whoop! That’s my case to a
The Democrat.
Aininri-ixc; rates:
, One Square, first in-i-uiim , . i_ S Ml
One One Square,each three Mib-u-qiu-nt insertion T5
Square, mouths . 4 w»
One Square, twelve months 8 00
Guartet- Column, twelv e months . . 25 Ml
: llalf C’jlimin twelvemonths . 40 on
: Oiie Column tweltw months . 60 Ml
X£T One Inch or la:ss considered a* a
square. We have no fractions of a square,
all fractions of squares will be counted as
squares. iatii ral deductions made on Con¬
tract Advertising.
coltid only find it out! Now do you
say fifteen cents for a dozen ?”
The fruit dealer counted them out
; without further objection.— Detroit Free
; /’rcss.
American Manners.
= ~
The bravest are tlie tenderest.
Every life contains a secret misery.
A smile is the bay window o’f the hu¬
1 man heart.
If a man only loves lo^Mines.s, lie doerf
not love at all.
Fowls are gluttonous, they take a ,*cit
* emy mo,,t,lfwl -
| The go.nl are better made bv ill,
As mlors crushed are sweeter still;
A wotiian utilizes a wrap when it is
> «*«* : man always gives’
it bae*.
i an A Indian, - because M/ »t a he hall called her lief l»e«u trail
was on
i ! all the time.
Made of the mist—drizzling rain:
Maid of the mister—Ills sweetheart:
Made of the mystery—hash.
I" two years a boy cun learn as much'
Batin as lie can forget in six months'
he goes to work for a living.
In the game of life many a man has
,K>fn flickered by a pretty woman
through the aid of a shady bower.
Artemus Ward once commenced a
lecture thus, “Ladies and gentlemen, t
! possess a gigantic Intellect but I haven’t
it with me ”
The Smith family recently held a re-*
union in New Jersey. Their principal
sentiment was: “Pocahontas: the pre¬
server of our race."
“Is them fellers alive now 1" Safif a'
urchin to his teacher. “What fellows 1
da you mean, my dear ?” “Why, Paul,
[ and Luke, and De 4hM|mi( ioniy.iiiiiYthcm’,"'
“I presume you und«T stand mv busi¬
ness," said the census-taker to the acro
bat. “I merely wish to know your oe
cupatlon.” “Oh, yes, l tumble,” replied
the acrobat.
•Afler ranch : Dreamy young lady fW
railway carriago to cheerful* find ex reed
ingly healtliy-looking youiig nian—“Oh,
sir, arc you {esthetic?” “No, ffik'ain ■
I’m a butcher."
“Here’s a riddle for you,” said Joe to
Mose. (
“Be ipiiek, nnd let’s have tho reply;
Why are you like your father’s nose?
Give it up V You’re under his eye."
A Michigan farmer heard that music
would prevent lives from stinging, so he
took his accordeon and went out and sat
down behind a hive. Only forty-four
bees got a whack at him' before he jump-'
ed in a l ike.
The female plaintiff in a Western dri¬
vorce suit was asked upon taking the
stand and prior to being sworn, if she
believed ie a future life. “I used to,"'
ihe answered, “but since I was married
»’ve had all the nonsense taken out of
me -”
A little girl of twelve years, the
daughter of a clergyman c,k was asked -
“**, <1... your pmd, tho
teme sermon twice?” Afler thinking
a moment Sadie icplieil : “Y es, I tliistc
i, 0 (] neH ■ ),„t } think he hollers in differ-'
, „
“My friends,” said the politician with
a burst of eloquence, “I will be honest,”
Many of his fiisnds were present, ami
the terrific outburst of applausr wliidi
followed this remmk entirely upset
the point which the speaker wag about:
to make.
Mother,” said a little girl, who rtas
engaged in making an apron for her doll,
* believe I will lie a duchess whert t
grow up.” “How do you exiiest to be¬
come a duchess, my daughter?” “lVI.y,
by marrying a Dutchman- to be sore !”‘
r * ,,,ie< ' tht> Htt,e « irb
A countryman from New ^^alnpshire,'
W, , , ‘ „ ,, 7 , „ . ,, , ,
( , , *1 , , i ^ 7
wb,rl ‘"« or,H * ' ,f tllosa 11
vehicle*, 1,6 broke out into it soliloquy
thus: “(Jolly, ain’t that queer. Wbo’d
,y er ( 8pe(r t to see a man ridin’ a lioop
skirt .”—Anurkait Qumi.
Tlie truly affectionate and sensible
wife Mpproaebes ber husband with a be
expr , ssiim ()f countenance, and
gently laying her hand apon his should¬
er, observes: “Charley, dear, please
don’t spend any inure irrotn y for catda
(ffon gleeds. I 11 try and stand it if yon 1
won’t kiss me on tlie lips.”
POETICALLY KX I'KBSSKD,
“You put ine in mind of, Miss Edith,
tie said,
“A ride ail loaded and aimed at my
head, I
For if you ‘go Off’ would surely be
dead,”
“And you, Mr. Greed, remind me of a
K “'b
. ,, „ . .
■ • ' ’ *
Xirrtr,, fl, raid.