Newspaper Page Text
THE PEOPLE'S ADVOCATE
CKAWFORDVILLE. GA.
Leading German generals predict a
big war in Europe at an early day.
A National literature on roads is grad¬
ually growing up in this country, and
the Pittsburg Dispatch thinks the sub
ject should be given a prominent place
in public school education in consonance
with its great imjiortanre.
It is prolMtbie, predicts the San Fran
cisco Chronicle, that the device for dis
pensiug with the service* of telegraph
operators will Le like the machine for
setting type. Human ingenuity can go
a long way, hut it cannot furnish brain*,
and brains ar* very essential in telegra
phy.
According to the Courier-Journal tin
great scramble for gold is now regarded
in Europe a* a sign that European peace
is Hoon to be broken, Gold is not nniy
being locked up in the imperial 1 reasury
of Russia, huf in storehouse* of other
continental Governments, and the feel¬
ing of anxiety on this account is wide¬
spread. .
A Presidential inauguration cost* lesf
than ait ordinary Congressional funeral.
The total cost of President Harrison’s
inauguration wit* $25*20.50. The cost
of a funeral varies from $51)00 to any¬
thing you please, according to the dis¬
tance over winch flu* Congressional
mourners meander and the greed of
local undertakers and livery stable keep
ere.
This country * is uow building first*
daw war shi|.a at lower prices than tin
war ships of England are now costing.
Thu Boston Cultivator boast* that wt
..............*»
English navy yard, turn out. l’erhup*
our methods of shipbuilding have lest
-i« - »"»i*«.............
u
far 1 cm expensively , than any
In Europe, aud in the lighter taxation
which the people of this country pay .»
one of the cause* of our greater pros¬
perity.” _
« haries Mohr, of tho United Stater
Forestry Bureau, has article in the
Kngturering Magazine, which demands
the all* of ion of Southern legislators. He
X* TthTS M- aa,U>a fin timber rosou regs
ii i wm
out to auywx* i-onversant with the
iaf i%tw«haye x have entered alrcadv ? upon P” an
UA.lvmg vividly their points complete out tho threatenifif extinction,^ **’
ie
Emit r»i—4.i«v......" (hat will follow the di*»^l H ** nu ‘' *
u rr"
% luit ittlhu .^...^giunmg choir
. to muke ,
/i-.jivci i i
'h< fe* 1 -
------
P whs are inclined to takes
gloomy view of pauperism and „ crime in
New York/would do well, suggests the
New., of that city, to glance at the of
fieial reports of the niunicipaitty of I*>n
<*»• TI-»» J— «»**•« J*.«r
lhfll, th- J»to of tliu lut bimni.1 r«
port, tho cost of maintaing tho paupers
of Loudon was £2,340,000, the equiva
lent of about* 11,700,000. During the
»*.*.*.« tao years th. there m were It.,, ilia 74K 48 ,-rimln.l criminal
convictions. While there figures show
that the percentage of crime and pauper¬
ism iu London greatly exceeds that of
New York, tho same report indicates a
much lower percentage of attendauce ie
the public schools.
roccatlj prm u-.l iu tlio N«. Vovfc Tri
>.aa.,w,a. tilt'd that tb. *«««».
parative auatomist, Sir Richard Owen,
identified as a pig’s thigh-bone an owe
'
ou. specimen rent him . . for that . purpom
l>¥ Lord John Russell, who afterward
so it was stated—declared that tt came
from what purporte»l to be a Ivor's ham
presented by President Buchanan of the
An.,, ,u». r,. Tri
bund, ignoring the poesib.lrt, of a sub
stuutron in transit, ask. “Did our ante
beilum President willfully deceive Lord
John, a as the eminent comparative an
atouiist at fault for once, or has the Pail
Mail Gazette a talented liar on its staff F
■-
Within V the past two yean a numoerot r °
reef, and islands 1 m the P.citoc O Ocean,
long known to manners, have disap
peamt from view, leaving no evidence
1W A., uu d„.
here and there the floor of the ocean . ha*
subsided with unusual rapi.lity, though
act with such violence as to be betraved
bv the agitation of the re*. Tho fact’ i«
•reply , . known that .... the*.- *iretc.„.o. ... , net ,
or bits of lan*l. t them rising from
the depth*, an i all marked on the t baits.
•M n»longer l< • ot two wai
-vr plaere, have creieel arottnl in great be
wildrearet, unaua to ahe *4 *j«cd of
kbvu guest.
MORNING OF THE DISCOVERY.
Immortal Morn, all hail.
That saw Columbus sail
By faith alone.
The skins before him bowed
Back rolled the ocean proud.
And every lifting cloud
With glory shone I
Fair .Science then was born
On that celestial morn.
Faith dared the va,
j Triumphant o’er her foes,
Then Truth immortal rose
New Heavens to disclose
j An 1 Earth to free!
Htrons Freedom then came forth
To liU-rato the earth
■ And crown the right.
) No walked fbo pilot bold
j Upon the of darkness gold, hack ward rolled,
! And
And there was light I?
; Sweep, sweep unless the »**as.
Ye rolling jubilees.
Grand chorals raise;
The world adoring stands.
And with uplifted hands
filters from all the lands
To God it* praise!
Ye hosts of Faith, sing on;
The victories ye have won
Khali time increase,
And like t o choral strain
That fell on Bethlehem’s plain.
Inspire the |«-rfect reign
lit Gove and Pascal
—II. Butter worth, in Home and Country.
"COUSIN FREIIt r
IIV AMV S0Dm.ni.
K.pTC ^ T was a stormy twi
.
^ I,, light in February.
dnmry'atinosphcre^of
... \ the ! huge* 1 1do« 'SL
wood- writhingthem"
solve* about like
giunt* In extremis,
fefa. ,1 ai irwilin "
* *! f **.**** ** *
thirty years old, the .....-•74=^ other, scarcely sev
eutccn; ami a* tiey sat nero wanning
For there was something .n tho cut of
their curious fur lined . raper.es the
‘Jy h.'’ which tlni imconscio.isly carried
whi« h was a* forciun a. the
Marseillaise itself, although there uas
no accent in their voices us they ijues
Honed wtether any conveyance from
t**ve and Genevra Ballac. were the
daughters of American parentnge, born
i; , F jftncg . Orpbaeod »aBdalon. N
i 'I • ii 1
•?, “
! C « * , h b ' j
been taught , , to , call n him. n
| **0ojou supporeho will be goodl to
«>* Genevra, the dimpled seventeen
year ..Ub-i, asked, as she sat with her
“*-»»»» “*“»
un * ni ^ i)U |
For HtUe golden v toni, . • j nm »• '.W* » 1
Gem vr.i was om o ‘" aL
beams who take every heart by storm,
and in icr « eep mmir ing, s i <m >i
even sweeter aud mora attractive tiuiii
i , ordinary wont. And dark eyed
Genevieve, thirteen years older than her
her sister, own had personality long ago unselfishly and identiUtd put^aside her
.. ......
..|- WOI1 j OT i.. cm. i.IJ crab,”
pondered Genevra, as she drank tho tea
brought to her by the landlady, * ud
basked in the welcome warmth of the
Waxing log*, “or s whim*icai old bachcl
or> { U u of caprices. Oh, Genevieve!
Don’t you dread to meet him?
Genevieve smiled
‘Little one, smuI she, ‘Ion t Irot.
Whatever happens, weslmll be together,
But just then, the .1 landlord i ■! i came i bust* ,
, ,, .... „ .....
Mt ton “l, ol CmUIII, T UCU l..aT
some man of about thirty, with bright
brown hair clustering over a noble fore
« keen black eves and features \TmUo Belvl clear
-d ptrf,ct as Om Apollo UUv,
.. Arc tll0St . my cous ; n s<” he said,
pleasantlv. “You are welcome to Bar
net, Genevieve and Genevra.”
teA to ^-sny one but a wrinkled
old sexagenarian, she would have taken
more pains with her toilet. But Gene
view rose and smilingly put her hand
into the extended palm of her cou*in.
It era* a long, snowy drive to Barnet
Hill, but Genevra declared, joyously,
,* mma worth it all when thev were
.Trawm ushered into the wVh great ^ bllrm- old fashioned
• ™ ‘ ‘‘T ^ « tl a^rfajn* canne- and
t whuh the foot
fall made no reund
..| K . kmam f „|j Fred,
«o
two lttle school ' rir’is in short frock* aud
j. t,o*t* ’’
»*And do v hi know ” retorted Genev
„ "tha: our nund- werv fullvim gJaGemau i areal
to behold a r old
«,,h * »ere ^ .in’
were CQ
*
tW f<K , £:G(f „
Bat thev h»d wan **U iivcl su :• out! -
at B the inevita
*’ ** I Mr Harnet rather
’ ’
. ... _ , . _ ... i
area daat utth Gj .ey aga.u.t tUt
Captain Allaire. lie’s a pleasant, amus¬
ing fellow, I know; but he’s acarcely
the person f should select for aaf girl’*
husband.”
“Yea, Cousin Fred, I will apeak to
her,” said Genevieve, sighing softly as
she wondered what spell Genevra pos¬
sessed to win all hearts to herself, from
stately Cousin Fred to the handsome
dashing young captain of artilisry.
“But have you reasoned with her on the
subject?” times,”
“Half a dozen said Barn *..
“But she only laughs at me.”
Genevieve was silent. She wondered
if jmpular rumor was comet, t+u4
Frederic Barnet really did love | tt!e
Genevra so hopelessly so dearly. eviling
Genevra came home late that fi
in the rosy sun-et, with scarlet d
flowers in her hair.
“I have been to the village,” she ja.ff,
“with “Oh, Captain Genevra!” Allaire.” pleaded the eide j ‘is- j
|
ter. “When Fled thinks—” QL
“1 don’t care what Fred thinUfij’ in
lerrupted the beauty, with a ltd 04 her
hcad. ft j
“Listen, Genevieve, I have CaptaiJ a sect to
tell you; 1 was married to Al
laire this afternoou? 1
At t •Married?' ” echoed Genevieve.
**Oli, Genevra!” said
“Look at my wedding ring,” the
wild little gypsy, holding up her u>-Hy,
taper linger. “Yes, married—reallj Mrs. Allaire and
actually married! I am
matronly now,” with dignity. an amusing ussuiuptnu^of
“But Cousin Fred—” wP
“Cousin Fred may help himself if he
can,” said Genevra, audaciously. “Per¬
haps yon don’t know, Jenny, that Cousin
Fred himself means to be taarrief 1 very
soon.
«cr.cvicve turned pale.
G ‘i“ , ; V r “ ! cnc< ‘ she ’ “You can’t
t
“ I ’ OHr ,itt,e ^viavc!”
“But you will not lose’ your
ho ' u ®;. Y |' U C ° mC UD, ‘ HV * WltU '" e
^ rto J hat with ;” gaid the «nex|ctcd
»ucccs»ion of startling n«vwi, *1-1
mu ’ it l,,ok ollt for 11 situation in some
school or a* companion or nursery guv
erneaa! But oh v Geiievm, atu you quite
sure about Fred! ,
»it2^sr?r\Si5
Jow|| b< , hin(1 the shrlll ,i, erjj lor ^ tin
A j| nlrR t(| ,. oniu » sa jj Geuevra, with a
ri towhilr”in'.T "T” 4 »*«Li , rr- r‘
jf, P * household
u . rat|cI|S to makc t he ar
IIMfIltl|| /or hig cora}ng marrisg. ”
" l Wo “‘ ,cr who il c,ul bc ’” G<: ’ ie ’
.
^ of coums,” said} Get.
• „ or Umt b , iultiful Mrs . St .
.... J . . ti , flde5 h< . !d
h , vo done Uvo con 4ided m u*. I
think, and that’s one reason f
'**'*"■ Aud UiarleyJ^co « up
' ‘ ’ .* tram
fun' } f‘ h2 S^*iv:
0 c.irel*
Ami Genevieve could but the
beautiful, willful young recklessly creaturl' too
had taken life’s helm so JvoSe, i»to
Md ta in #cUokin
^ ^ 8 |„. l H * very, vorv haitily.
r ......—’.rayu Fie i listened v« ry p!
'^iunW.»,«..»*.*.«. should
if you ti*<l asked euutnj my advice, I
h .vc given « veidtaL Bug as
^ you didn’t consult rue, ’ why, J^ I shall have
bc Uke lho Wy t on the
gt#Re ” an< | g j ve you blessing. Attire
w * clever . *>11 fellow euougli, 1 auhougb he ,
,ms ^ cc Grenewlymarri^l “. ver . y J 'pair ,, p0 you ■ Wl
went away,
CM'*™V.»■' tboughtlestly happy as two school
/'// /"/ii/ “'l” 0 .j/'ii'/l
‘‘’"w ,"she'could h arrivo I For she
k th never remain ut the
^cn imautiful Mr*. St. Dean or
.... Hilv y , r ,j ihouM cith#r oi tht . m be
. . th
“It would kill me” she thought kill
clasping ^,5, her hands. “Yes, it would
Mf , j!irne h;l(1 lurne j kindly to her,
and led her to a seat beside the win
Jow
“You are Dale Genevieve ” he said
T£.’Z.'1£X if S lS
four for hor; she'ia baltertlv n'iio will a*,*
bonoy from ad life’s garden ground!
H« nature is light and irothy; far dif
ferent, Genevieve, from yours. Kit
down, little cousin; 1 base much to sav
t<>
“Now.” thought poor Genevieve,
with her color changing from scarlat to
wUite-“now it i* coming! I shall be
^
* action of indescribable lone
hness passed through her heart as she
pictured Genevra radiantly liappy with
her captain of artillery, Aousin f red
» the love of sora.* stately and
beautiful woman, herse.f only u-.i out in
the cold of life, dreariest vie an un
loved aa l solitary oid maid. But she
spoke nothing o: all these sickening
f«rs; eyes.* onlv looked at him. with wistfut
dark in silence.
“Genevieve,” said he. “do you think
it would be a wi'J and foolish dream for
mo I.* thm. .*!
**V«ul Oil, lo, .he atu—ettd, try
mg to smite.
“But 1 am three aud thirty.”
**You are only in tho prime ud full
acre of life." she responded—“for a
man. With women.” »:.U;ng re.uy,
vervtung » so ditLr.it. Bat,
C-msm Fre.. if yon really intend nui ,
. g-’
“Ti** * •*»*-* *«**><» toager ia y«*
*“^
-But that’s just what I doa’t
* » i t lo, tlenevwve.” heaaul, with her
t-retd »ta. e.orely held ia h.s. “Dear,
solemn little ■woman, is it possible that 1
you don’t comprehend what I mean ':”
“Von think,” with a startle! look, |
“that I be useful about the house?” ’
can
“Must I say it in so many words, •
Genevieve,” he asked. “.Shall I q > [
lown on my knees, like the heroes of i
romance, and say: ‘Sweetheart, wiil you •
be toy wife?’ ”
Genevieve started to her feet in a
panic. me-? - ’ cried Gca
“Do you really mean
evieve.
“I really mean—you,” he said, reso¬
lutely, holding her fast, when she would
have flown from him. “Little girl, then
you never have suspected ho* dearly I
love you k”
And Genevieve, clasping bot.i hands
over her eyes, could scarcely icr-ult
herself tbit all this was not a dream, a
beautiful, blissful yet baseless dream,
Mrs. St. Dean was no longer a rival! She
had nothing to fear from Alicia Hiiyardl
Cousin Fred loved her, and her alone!
Cousin Fre i had always loved her!
So they were married, ami when Gen
evra knew it she cried out, laughing:
“Well, there is hope for tau oldest of
old maids, now that our Jcuny is mar
ried!”
For this seventeen-year-old beauty
could hardly realize that true love ex -ts
for anyone over twenty year, old! — 1 uu
Ledger,
SCIENTIFIC AND IN'DUST It I VL.
To make ice by artificial means re
quires one tou of coal to produce Iron
from five to ten tons of ice.
A large sewing machine, weighin'
three and one-fourth tons, is in use it
Leeds, England, It sews cotton belt
irg.
The average weight of the Chines*
brain is said to be heavier than th*
average weight of the brain in any otliej
race.
Hard coal loses eight per cent, it
bulk per annum when exposed to th<
weather, Soft coal loses twelve pei
cent.
Experiments li ivc shown that a pump
kin will lift two aud one-half tons, pro¬
vided the weight is placed so as to
interfere with the growth and develop¬
ment of tho vegetable.
The temperature of tho Mediterra¬
nean at 200 fathoms is about fifty-six 'de¬
gree*, and no change is found in going
to the bottom, which in places reaches s
depth of 1500 fathoms.
M. Chappuis’c proposed electrie rail¬
way through the Simpion Pass ia esti¬
mated to cost $8,000,000, and it would
greatly reduce the distance between
Italy and Northern Europe.
The cost of tite observatory which is
now being built on the top of Mont
Blanc, Switzerland, is estimated at $60,
000. Part of the building is to be made
available tot guides and tourists.
The central -Sahara registers a mean of
ninety-seveu degree* in July. Centia'
Jireuarj, Australia Im.*«u< y£r.iu.etv-fonr
a mean which i* attained ia
8 ' ,uiht!i ‘ rotiua •‘ n ' 1 [nner Arabin ia m,u -
8umuier ’
A British scientist recently Hated that
if a man weighing 140 pounds were
placed under flat, a hydraulic press and
squeezed tue result would be 105
muuds of water aud thirty-live pouuds
sons and cures lor snake bites ia to be
esUbiished in Calcutta. It is to be
founded by a native, and will be the
only institution of it* kind m the
world.
An excellent method for waterproof
ing the surface of a wa>l is to cover ii
hours‘^coafoS*. /olutiouTs^J*
c . JZSSZ This process 1* Ti.r.u" renea’cd several LSI
perMlj ..let light.
The researches of many observers, as
reported upon by I)r. Buchan, show that
the ocean currents cause the temperature
of the wcst 8,llc of the Atlantic, at
depths from 100 to 500 fathoms to be
' 1<?ar! y t( -’ n degrees warmer than at the
depth* on the east side.
Blarecy, the well jkuowu ievestiga*
tor of animal movements Oy menu* of in
stantaueous photography and the zoc
trope, has now succeeded in rendering
the beating of a hving heart visible to ,
-^4,, -JgM<b» ~ «-•- *>' ,
Oflicia. statistics of the coicra . epidem- ..
*c m Germany last year, and up to its
practical d,.appearance, show that the
uumta-r of deaths from cholera wre,
«5IU. Aine-tentns practically ox this
numlH r w, ri -d t< k c city jin* c °
° ofThe whote
cen t
center around U.unburj, Sh’dlSSilh" witu aumauu
tng viruitace.
Pi.ch pine beams will ... ta:ck- .
surma m
ne*s from eighteen and three-quarter
inches to eighteen and t quarter; spruce
eight and a half inches to regfat ;
and thiee-eights; white pine from
twelve inches to eleven and seven
Srfar eighths; vetlow pine a trifle iere.
bealn* will shrink from a width
of fourteen inches to thirteen and a
..uirter; elm from eleven to tea and
«>1 ’'*- >•
-I d^h..
-..... .....—-
, , Hashiarton. *
.
A vein of onyx was discovered in Gar
lioki County. \\ f
wfj*ch th rejwrt of an expert miner
a -gr* wlw v etted and examined the
Sa d a week or s> - ace *how. to Ibo of
•
ra* pue*t’-.e - -nine* ia
a-’S.TKW.-T. is poreaarel *•:
*k*» Ihrir eouaty ot
the ere? *•>?* auavaiathnU^Wd »t*t*n.
—t^icatfo I Hires.
fQtp ftHufflH
| '* W ,1 IWJ
I HOT
m K
4V;
Mr?. Cleveland rarely kisses her
friend?.
Mme. Patti, the singer, owns IOC
canaries.
Emeralds are the favorite stone3 just
at present.
Queen Victoria’s favorite instrument
is the harp.
Paper dresses are being worn at even
ing parties in Paris.
Braid takes a most important place in
the world of trimmings.
Purple catalaysas are Mrs. W. K.
Vanderbilts favorite flowers.
The fashionable fardingales of 1560
were twenty-six feet in circumference.
Queen Margarita of Italy possesses a
coral necklace which she always wears,
day and night.
Mink is in high favor, its soft shade
of trown mingling readily with most of
the colors in vogue.
Large, light-colored felt hats have a
charming effect trimmed with feathers
aud shaped to suit the wearer.
The extension of width in shoulders
grows and grows, giving, in some
cases, a winged aspect to the wearer.
Triple cape3 edged with fur arc very
becoming to slight figures, but over faii- a
sack-back coat we consider them a
ure.
No better or briefer description of
Mrs. George M. Pullman can be given
than the mention of her resemblance to
Patti.
Mary E. Bartlett, of Cheyenne, Wy¬
oming, is the first woman to receive
votes in a State ballot for United States
Senator.
The fastest typesetter in California is
said to be a young woman who is em¬
ployed in a newspaper office at Santa
Barbara.
Mrs. T. DeWitt Tutelage makes her
husband’s pastoral and social engage¬
ments and all' his lecturing interests are
in her hands.
Purple veils arc a daring innovation.
A clear, good complexion stands the test
well; but pale faces look deadly masked
in the royal shade.
Mrs. M. A. Anderson, Assistant Ser
geant-at-Arms of the Arkansas House,
acts as doorkeeper in the absence of tha
Sergeant-at-Arins.
Lady Evans, wife of the late Lord
Mayor of London, was a housemaid at
the Oaks Hotel, Seven Oaks, England,
prior to her marriage.
AH .- .Ion is admiring Jan Van
. •*>£ Duchess of Matlbor
dicers* portrait
ough in a white muslin frock, holding a
rod suuahake over her head.
Florence Nightingale, the famous
nurse, is seventy-two years old. She
takes her baptismal name from the Ital¬
ian City in which she was born.
Miss Mary Conant, living near Roch¬
ester, N. Y., has managed her father’s
farm ever since his death, some four
years ago, and made it pay well.
Electrotype reproductions of rare
pieces of silver, such as are found in
museums or valuablo art collections, are
among the latest fads of the aristocracy.
One looks with joy upon the arrival in
the domain of fashion of the tight-fitting
velvet pelisses. Nothing could be more
fitting or stylish for the new spring cos¬
tumes.
. i i 1
b EiiiocBc«''
er liglit graj. 1 mrple is aim
a peculiar tone which is much used in
milliuery.
Auuie Louise Cary Raymond sings in a
x ew York church choir. The purity of
an d strength of her vocal chords are as
fully retained ns when they did service
in “Faust,” “Trovatore” and “Lucre*
tit.”
Flower garnitures for party gowns are
beautiful. An especially dainty com
bination is of narrow stem green ribbon,
a t regular intervals of which is
A Denver «e»‘doia (Cot.) hi>u..c.viEo has uu Iu-
4te |lri g hrr haurowork. Tb.
young woman is ths daughter of a
Pawnee chief, aud her name ra English
I* Bose Howell. She was a student for
miay p” yeari at thc Carlisle school.
ac tresses, it is said, wear paper
j acC) w ych by night looks as delicate as
the best of real lace, while it costs but
a trifle ’ To Wear aa “P*™™ lot <*
Plain fine ser - es have be€a ^cceeded
by the wide . nb bed varic-Ues which show
to such advantage in the plain trained
s kj rts in tweeds there is a distinct feel
{of boueie effecUt aa j flatfy curIs
break out of unexoected places in the
‘
Utes , testurei .
It may be o user v«u us- as a general ,
plaits rule, skirts and gather* have widcn^ contribute at the to top, this and ef
!ect ’ Ia ver J itvhsh "‘“ff
there are as many as six or seven resdths
“’.’’’itS'lhS’lSISISe mT - ”*
*"” U
Tiny gir-s .n wuite cashmere - uresses .
aEtl cloaks * w lth white ^ge,
white hats with . white or bright colored
plume, and snowy gloves, have been
among the most attractive of the mrey
pl«a»ing sights on the m.*st taihioaahie
metropolitan promcredre.
Bnuke. which have ti: • stuff cut on
liar, and the bn g» for {
. ..nal way. There
!*.»« cot c watch -ave seams un¬
the arm* aui on the aboui-ien only,
unless they are fancied to the front, re¬
quire a good : „ ar*. su order to he really
•
THE TWO VISITS.
The Kaiser goes to see the Czar,
The won’ turns out to see;
His ret’nue tollers from atar.
An* then the Kaiser and the Czar
Embrace in solemn glee. *:
An’ then saioot an’ hug an kiss.
An’ both are filled and soaked in blisi
Wen I go down to Hiram’s placa
The worl’ don't seen to care,
I neither kiss his hands or face,
’T would make’em laff at Hiram's place,
! Twould make 'em 'ar an’ tear.
But Hiram says, ez roun’ he pokes,
•*I glad to see ye; how’s yer folks’ *
m
i take a loot at Hiram’s hogs
An’ hear how much they grow.
This somehow Hiram’s uieoTry jozs
An’ he lets out on them ar’ bogs—
You oughter hear him blow.
If you could only hear him once
You’d hear someginooine alerwunce.
O,’ Hiram he is slow enough
But none too slow for me.
For I’m a purty tuna ol’ dutr,
An fairly moierit enough.
An’ jest as slow ez he.
So we stub roun’ tho whole day long
Until we hear the suoper gon;.
The Kaiser goss to see the Czar,
Aud maybe stops to tea.
But man like Czars an’ K aisers are,
Coopad in tho palaes of the Czar,
Hain’t nosich times ez we.
The Czar an’Kaiser know no charm
Like loafin’ roun’ ol’ Hiram’s farm.
—Sam Walter Foss, in Yaukee B.a le.
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
It is not man’s sins that find him out;
it’s his neighbor.—Atchison Globe.
The great part of a self-willed man’s
estate usually goes to the lawyers. —Troy
Press.
Every day a man hears a dozen things
he ought to do that he can’t do.—Atchi¬
son Globe.
“Do you believe iu fate, Pat?” “Sure
and phwat would we stand on widout
’em?”—Siftings.
IV hat ever may be said of a sweetheart
she can’t be too good to be true.—Phil¬
adelphia Times.
There is no help for the case of the
woman who can’t get a servant.—Phil¬
adelphia Record.
Teacher—“What is a hero?” Tommy
—“The man who marries a heraiue.’’—
Indianapolis Journal.
The cynic is the man who knows tho
price of everything and the value of
nothing.—The Fun.
Women are not cruel to dumb animals.
No woman will wilfully step ou a mouse.*
—Richmond Recorder.
It appears to be the business of tho
needy tramp to go around looking for,
succors__Binghamton Leader.
“Do you think this tooth will standi
filling!” Patient—“Well, I’m sum its
has .plenty ol nerve.”—Inter thaws Own, dynamite |
The man who out is
being heard from. There is generally
but one report.—Baltimore American.
The Keg—“Your headpiece is posi¬
tively ugly.” The Barrel (proudly)—
“Maybe, but I wear hoops.”—Chicago
News.
Time is generally represented as carry¬
ing a scythe. This will probably be kept
up till it is no mower.—Philadelphia
Times.
“There’s another unconscious humor¬
ist!” gleefully remarked the footpad as
he sandbagged the punster.—Washing¬
ton Star.
“There’s a time to work and a time to
play,” but to the hand-organ grinder
both times come at once.—Rochester
Democrat.
“Say, Chimmie,” said the boy who
bad a white pink, “dc blokie flat named
dis flower must ov bin color blind,"—
Washington Star. •
That the cynic is an extreme type of
humanity is indicated by the fact that
he is always very old or very young.—
Washington Star.
“I feel better about lickin’ this postage
stamp,” said the boy who had been size.” sent
to mail a letter. “It’s nearer my
—Washington Star.
“Yes,” said the man who had just
fallen down three flights of stairs, “I’ve
^enonquiteanexteodod . . . . . tnp. . . w -Kate
Dullpate—“I find it very hard work
to collect my thoughts.” Maud—“Papa
... . ... ,..
’ *
Mudge— Thompson called ... me an
>diot. Yabsley— \ ou needn t mind
‘hat. Thompson always doe* exaggerate
“ ore -Tit-Bits.
What maks the bicycle popular with
nmny, rich or poor, is that, after trying
one they feel that they are better
a. par
I ‘nade of you?” Cranky Subject
—“Well, the coat is too tight under the
irms -''—New York Journal.
The words of s man’s mouth tell no
more of rhe me diUtion> of hu heart than
the voice of a dinner bell tells of the
quality of the dinner—Puck.
* cn it comes to revenue cutters,
said old Bullion, snipping o« another
coupon, “there, nothing like a good
1^'^ of shears. -Chicago Tobune.
A difference between a knife blade
1 !"*P 1-j , '»P" “ d * ««■*» »lb>t
«» '* -» - * M,
more cutting.—-Philadelphia Times.
When smile* the glad millennium
A Upon th s mighty nation
a office w.U be round for each
In tae whole population.
-Wreku«t»i8mr.
At a Part v- Suitor—‘-Mein You^J (p^eb
I iove you.” Hich herf.therj-^Ex- Ladv
with her hu to
me, yonder is my businea, rnanam ’’
Luft.
Mr. Horton—“What on earth did you
Horton—••To qf this expensive fife screenl’’
veriug that hadn’t keep caller* from (lit
we any tri. -ft*
Inicr-Uccan. .