Newspaper Page Text
THE PEOPLE'S ADVOCATE J
CR AWPORPTTLLE, GA.
In 186-1 die average cost oi teaching
per annum f each pupil in the puolic
schools of Chicago was $5. 19. In \<9i
the average eo»; of teacain * wa* $10.20
The wires of valuable Russian furs
bare* bee i almost quadrupled in Ger
many in recent years, Not all of them
arc genuine, as may be inferred from the
lac t that dead cat*, which were worth
two cent- apiece a few years ago, no .v
cost twenty-live to thirty cent* each.
Libouchcre, of London Truth, acidly
observes that “the British House of
Lords, it must be remembered, has only
survive I thus far because tire majority of
its members have i M, ieieiit ..en.se never
to show their fa much less to let
their voices be heard, at Westminister.
Another bridge to connect New York
ami Brooklyn has been begun, The
structure will be on the cantilever sys¬
tem au«l its spans will be 151) feel high.
Its cost will be over $10,0 10,000. The
two great eitic- will soon be linked so
firmly together that, in the opinion of
the San Francisco Chronicle, a common
municapitl government will be absolutely
necessary .
Km« c tuu great cave* of Mu* country
were turned into show places a clo e e
watch has been kept on visitors to pre¬
vent their annexation of stalactites,
“cava ucorns,” gypsum . rystals, and
other curious and beautiful formations.
Not even the broken stalactites lying
about the floor c*u be appropriated, for
these are gathered and sold by the own
eis or lessees of these holes in the
ground.
The backward condition »t public in¬
struction ir provincial Russia may be
gathered from a brief und wcll-authcnti
citcd statement in » prominent newspa¬
per, from which it apjiear* that in the
Government ot PskolT, adjoining that of
8t. Petersburg, there ri to lie found only
oue elementary school in the whole area
of 6db square veists, and among more
than 20!) villages, many of which con¬
tain several thousand* of inhabitants.
The winter aud wet weather of the
Tiast this year proved u great bonanza to
the rubber shoe manufacturer* and deal
(MS, WUO ii»re JSfiU olll u rf t n y - * !? Tfie.f
•tock. So great bus hocu the consump¬
tion it is estimated that the output of
RVj;i will have to bo increased by noarly
$0,000,009 pairs. This, calculates the
China 40 Herald, will tax tho capacity
of the mills to tho utmost aud insure* to
the operative* abundant work at good
voces during the year.
Another steamship hue is arranging to
put two iO,t>b0-tou steamers under the
American flag. The vessels will lie built
at Newport News, Vu., and will ply be¬
tween Liverpool and Now Orleans, The
new liners. It 1* expected, will be the
nucleus of a full fleet of Aniericau
steamer* rivaling in speed and beauty
the fastest afloat, Evidently the pro*
p,els of the American flag reappearing
oil the o?can are brightening,” exclaim*
the 8.in Francisco Chronicle.
The other day two Chinese .lamscU
invaded the San Francisco Chronicle
budding. They rode up aud down the
elevator, vmtiuy the different floor*,
opening the doors of several offices, ap¬
parently for uo other purpose than to
■sic what was inside, meanwhile all the
time jabbering and laughiug as if they
were very much amused. When asked
who they were looking for oue of them
answered: “We no look tor anybody—
ail the slumming. ”
we same
Says the Detroit Free Press: “Silver
may be cheap—say eighty-three cent* an
ounce—but its production is much
cheaper. Ia the three most prominent
mines at Croede, Col., stiver has been
produced at twenty-five cents an ounce,
and tbe profits from these three iniue*
last year were $1,000,000 on a $200,000
investment. TwoCreede mines can pro¬
duce 8,009,000 ounce* per annum. A
mine at Aspen has been turning out 2,-
500,000 ounces per annum, at a cost, it
is said, of less than fourteen cents per
ounce. ’*
The atones of the misused oyster
dredgers of the Chesapeake have excited
wide sympathy, and a number of iafiu
cb m! soc .ei.es in Baltimore hare in nnad
, be u |uarters where complaint* can la
lodged of the unfortunate and investi
gallon 1 «de aud prosecution conducted
by thi u wiquaiter- against the wretcuea
wt xe.ve aud abuse the men the*
ship. b. meet < «**, dec .are* the Chicago
Herald. VictXBM of these outrages are
too p> " • lo •-•eee-ift th* offenders, but
die prop*, • * p*«b X*»9 iWmalr this dif
firulty ami umuir * ieeerved puajsu
NRUt.
PEOPLES’ PARTY COLUMN.
Cerrent Comment Concerning liie Great
Crusade Again,si Oppression.
chotest Mi ai ssi run hi Hsias tkkatt.
Fifty thousand cop it* of a extradi¬ stirring
denunciation «•) the Russian
tion treaty wen sent out recently to
fatsir organizations and Jalior leaders
throughout the United States from
the headquarters of the American Fed¬
eration of Tnibor in New York city.
Accompanying the address is an
earnest request that every wageworker
mail at once a protest against the
treaty to president Cleveland. Secre¬
tary of State Gresham and the senators
from their respective states. The ap¬
peal reads us follows:
“To the Trade and Labor I'tiioti* of
Amerd-a -.
Ff.ia.ow Toiler*, Gkektino Repre¬
senting the producers of the wealth of
the country. we cannot remain silent
witnesses of tin- great outrage that has
been perpetrated in the star chamber
proceeding* of the I'nited States
senate.
“An extradition treaty with the
greatest tyrant upon the fare of the
globe the Russian ezsr is about to
lie eousiiniuiated by our government
in the inline of the people; the funda¬
mental principles engrafted in the
Declaration of Independence and the
constitution of the United States are
about to heroine nothing but a relic of
our glorious past. By this treaty eve¬
ry Itussian patriot seeking to liberate
the Russian people from the yoke of
despotism, and striving to establish a
government of, by and for the people,
is to la- considered and treated by our
government as a common criminal,
and as such shall be delivered to the
mercies of the czar and his hangmen.
“We, American workmen, jealous of
the liberty and independence of our
country, are at the same time intensely
interested in the struggle for liberty
and brotherhood of all human races
and nationalities; and we therefore
most emphatically protest against this
infamous un-American compact with
barbarism. Our protest must lie sharp
against tins att< nipt to make our gov¬
ernment the safe-guard «>f despotism;
our people the consort and accomplices
of the crimes of c/.urdouv; our country
the fugitive slave trap of the czar's
mercenary hirelings and spies.
“The Yakutsk massacres, the .Siber¬
ian horrors uud the cruelties daily per¬
petrated by the czar and his minions
arc Hot too well kuown to ns; absolute
absence of any trace of justice in rela¬
tion to the 'so-called political offend¬
ers’of Russia; the most barbarous
‘laws’ if they muy la* called such, mak¬
ing free expression of opinion against
the iuhnuinn government rules of Run
«ia a crime subject to capital juutieh
fUG*?'- 4 i*-R. 1 H4h* Tint-w?tHbfetrt‘~*rtvar
may not only refuse to entertain all
propositions from the czar, but to shut
up all our diplomatic intercourse with
that country until freed from the yoke
of tyranny and despotism? The free
people of Russia will enter into a
brotherly alliance with the free people
of the United States.
KKTAI.IATION THAT liOK.SN T RKTAMATK.
During the fiscal year l!*9l no im¬
port duty »HF levied upon coffee eoiu
ing into tbe United States, and in that
year tho total imports amounted t»
519,528,4:12 pounds, valued at about
$100,000,000. Of this nearly one
sixth ratin' from the states of Veuezm -
la, Colombia and Hayti Under the
reciprocity clause of the McKinley
tariff act the president was given au¬
thority to exact retaliatory duties Upon
the products of those countries whose
turtft' laws he deemed unfavorable to
American interests. President Harri¬
son availed himself of the power thus
vested ill hitU til impose 11 duty of :l
cents a pound on id! coffee imported
into the United States from \ eiieznela.
Colombia aud Hayti. The effect of
this tax is shown both in 1* decrease in
the imports from the countries affected
aud iu a rise in tin price of those
grades of eott’ee which are principally
supplied by them.
From the figures already given the it
appears that the imports from
three states under discussion averaged
nearly 1 .JOO.OOO pounds per month
during the fiscal year 1891 A recent
l v issued treasury report, com ring the
period from July I. 1892. to January
51. 1893. shows that the imports have
decreased over tiff per cent since the
duty imposed by President Harrison
went into effect the monthly average
for the seven mouths iu question hav
ilig l>een hardly more than 2.000.000
pounds. The decline in the imports
from thes.' countries continues, and in
January. 1898, they supplied lew than
900.000 pounds reduced
The tax has not only the
amount of coffee imported it lias in
creased its price as w. 11. Th. impor
ter Who has been forced to pay the
dutv has exacted in return a eorre
sjw.udingly higher price from his eus
tom. rs and the American ceiisiim. ra
UH * * * r , 1 ’ , v ani imlK S.-V
‘ •
. rai . millions oi . debars men for . th. .1
Tw^s^STr iiS !£.££'T 1
-«... -s.
■iff.,-..,. 1>, thi. lint. ar. at a iml.l
,1.J. a tat ..I,, -a,.,.I, al.l,,
coffees baa fallen off while th, d< maud
f..r them remains the s«„„ e , .er, it
has Uvn |s>*-il |. f,>r other ptvidneers
Of mil 1 grade- Of e, ft.. to exjwt mor..
for their product that, li« ret,.f r. and
it IS ncodiow to MV that thee hav. ha*
Mr
.-.th.,,..
rea- i I.. Man that; b. will dnwtly
11, hasaireadv ns*, i th. Slate
nt F t mfon. at w- t. th.
’• ...tr-n,. t
tiktl •’* 1 tho anh
ject will end iii a withdrawal of Pres¬
ident Harrison’s ill-advised proclama¬
tion.—Baltimore Sunday Sun.
IWEAKT slave*.
ihr. faru.rx laws that have bean
,wed m Mn .rl.uaelth and ( onri*cti
nit cannot h, -aid to he very thorough
affairs; as their enforcement is fur
themiore left to the eapital.sts them
w ives, through their political agen
cies, the republican and the democrat
ie party politicians, very little of their
little virtues is left by the time those
lawn reach the working people. Htill
they have some slight force, ami that
force has had for its effect to cleanse
those two states to n great extent of
some of the worst human wrecks pro
dneed by the capitalist system. this
The steady encroachments of
system upon humanity has produced
human beings so stunted in moral per
ceptions that they consider all rcice
dial laws for their own class as an in
jury. Wages being low, they would
rather work long hours of toil, and by
concerted efforts raise their incomes,
Their incomes being slight, they yield
to the pressure that proceeds trom the
greed of the boss, and insist that their
children shall slave “to make the two
ends meet” at. home. Ho bereft of all
sense are these human wrecks that every
pressure from above serves to them as
h reason, not to resist, but to yield and
depress themselves still more, there
by preparing the conditions that will
bring upon themselves increased op
pression and increased want.
Massachusetts and Connecticut
had for their effect to drive such pro
pic away. Rhode Island capitaiists
received them with open arms and
have ....... deriving the benefit of the
inert tU'tfTHilfttiou of labor m
their own state. Now, finally a howl
is raised in Rhode Island itself. The
women are eoming forward, pleading
in bi half of the children and for a fae
tory inspection law.
At present, in very many factories,
a large number of children under ten
are at work. Not a few are the in¬
stances quoted of children who are
made to work in factories day and
night, with only a short rest between
the working periods of the twenty-four
hours.
Owing to the existing island, conditions in
capital-ridden Rhode tbona
tinds of children of the working cluse
are taken I rom the nursery thrust into
the mill; the eveuing schools are not
available to them; having toiled the
whole day, they are not in a condition
fur night study ; illiteracy is, accord¬
ingly, on the increase in the state,
The movement in favor of checking
these ills by factory legislation i*
strong enough to warrant the belief
that the evil will be checked as far, of
course, as a human being’s devouring
capitalist system will allow.—The Pim¬
ple.
M Th< Russian |*eopk> want free
‘«*'.i V- ,"*rG
cluftorol suffrage. .Shall not all civil
i/.ed nations combine to assist those
noble heroes and patriots of Russia,
w ho. in the struggle for these inalien
rrjrss'sss
in the senate; let all organized labor
this shameful encroachment of polities
upon the moral sense of the people;
let us sound the strongest alarm, until
our sense of indignation lie felt, anil
our voice be heard by our president
and his advisors. Rut. to he effective,
we must be prompt, otherwise it may
be too late to retract the disgrace now
bending down upon us, and tbe wrong
about to be inffieted upon the Russian
peoph Let all our unious scud reso
lntinns of protest to the president,
secretary of state, aud the senate
and to the press throughout the
country.
“From the Atlantic to the Pacific
our voice of indignation aliali ring aud
p. run ate every hamlet of true Ameri¬
cana. and let our zeal not be relaxed
until our efforts to save the honor of
our nation are crowned with success,
and this disgraceful treaty be recalled
or nullified. Our country must for¬
ever remain the asylum and breathing
spot for all who dare brave danger
for freedom’s sake, and seek from
persecution of tyranny aud despot¬
ism."
rue. cut ro oe< eivf. the PEOPLE,
During the lute session of the Kansas
legislature false and misleading state
meitta were sent out to the plutocratic
press from Topeka with a persistence
worthy of a better cause. From the
first day’s preceding* to the last, dis
patches were colored and manipulated
until in inauy instances it was unpossi
bio to know from the reading what had
been done. As for the motivesregula
ting the doing, these eoald only be
guessed at by reading between the lines.
and by assuming tliev were something
other than stated. One of the futmi
est attempts at perversion of motive
was in the Australian ballot, which
read
T e leg sUture ksjiv ;»*Md the Au»ir*h»n
'ulbl !■* Toe republican. vo:« J for 11 on
die cronml that it wou’td make it impoanbla for
tile Piipuf Sts wf.onihona.-s to I>mf their v .trr* eke.iou tocrttier ,Ur a;
ti . eouarn on awl
JEtiSZZ£‘JC& “ “* “
.w, .1- *«.»
likv s. mail, -li.ap ta ,ate -apainat
.t,.r-ill-.lw r„,n.l.a. a, am a.har.
ticket’ Th. Aanguard.
* *
iNixmr tax.
4 cra j^j woaW ^ lht ,
,th. w. rld T),., 1 f.»r
tun. - f.iiilt m. an 1 or i nn.U »W
......... ------------ --a
B UrtI1< a f^tory. or a -tor,, pav ,
)„* v y t *\ «h»le a milliounir.
j nn , u , v , u%> , u ^ m-t.s ksnsdbonda
It. : »ad other husk
, pen* U |-Wedo»M ««w4 fo«l-
Jug If h man owns $100,000 worth
of bonds, let him par taxes jnst as the !
owner of 8100,000 worth of real estate
:• compelled to do Tax his property.
and tax h;s income when It !5. sav.
a r,,rand upward Grade the
tonal ^nrJu^’ 110,000. The m « figures ° D ” C mav * be
•barged, but this is the principle —
Kidmiig*.
* *
hire rs selfishness.
‘‘If there is any real unselfishness in
^
. America to-day, it is among the reform
pditors,” says a contemporary. “A
g<a>d many arc putting the price of
their papers down next to nothing.
.'They can’t possibly make money at
such prices. We admire their nnself
ishness, but regret to see such a dis
play of want of business ability. A
tpaper cannot be influential for noth
yng. If business methods are set aside
ruin will come sooner or later. The
merchant cannot afford to sell goods at
’or less than cost. The railroad cannot
Jffford to Nothing haul passengers at less than
i can succeed that way.
f H paper is worth reading it is worth
paying for. If you want to be liberal
give your papers away, but don’t put
J he subscription price down so low as
Ho ruin your own business and that of
Esthers publishing papers. It is simply
Jolly Ir. and will hurt the cause you rep
sent instead of helping it. Make an
.honest, I living price, but attempt noth
_ing lower.”
*
An impatient people await (Secretary
oincy’s descent tipon “trusts.” Asthe
gentleman has figured as attorney for
*m. vera i prominent ones in his day, his
l),ilitv to strike vulnerable spots can
r ( „t be doubted. “On with the dance.”
A party tlmt is afraid to convene its
Congress to carry out its promised rc
i orins is a fraud and a cheat, and will
~o* so branded by an indignant people,
armera’ Tribune.
Voting for “the success of the par¬
ty” is what has mortgaged 9,000,000
homes iu the United States, and three
fourths of the crops and personal
property in theSouth.—Southern Mer¬
cury.
’ The result of the recent elections is
another argument in favor of woman
nffrage in Kansas Had all the women
last fall the state would have
, w , n populist by 25,000.
This country is rapidly getting away
Vom the poor man. The ballot-box is
; .diout all that’s left to him. It is the
>oor 1 man’s last ditch and only hope.—
I |l * , n "
Plain, common sense information
about governmental affairs was never
.jo easily obtained as now, nor more
‘Ceded by the masses.^
* —”
Tom Watson r iiKiout whut
tko last Congress promised to do and
you will know exactly what they did
not do. ”
o,..™. .i..«
United States amount to the enormous
bst.
Getting E ven.
A onetime Archbishop of Paris, Mon
signor Afire, was traveling iu a dili
genec. He had a number of fellow
passengers to whom he was not known.
although one of them, a lively-spirited him
commercial traveler, discovered to
be an ecclesiastic from the episcopal
cross hanging beneath his cloak.
The conversation was somewhat gen
“fol -TT. 1 3S5i”k3KS
raillery said
“Monsieur, can you tell us the differ
ence between a bishop aud au ass? You
are evidently a learned man. awl can
certaiuly inform us.” prelate
, After a moment’s thought candor the and good
answered, with perfect
nature;
“Well, it doesn’t seem such a difficult
question, perhaps, and yet I really cau
not explain it.”
“No? Then I will enlighten you.”
continued the traveler, who by this time
had drawn the attention of the crowd.
“It is because au ass bears a cross upon “
his back and the bishop on his breast.
This sally was received with roars of
laughter, nobody as yet susjiecting the
religious character of its object.
“And now,” began affability, the archbishop.
still with perfect “can you
tell me the difference between a com
m ThiTdmminl'Tscratch **!*hU head, and
tinallv replied he couldn’t.
“Neither can I.” mildiv commented
his Grace
The traveler got out at the next
station.
A I'air of Singular Animal*.
-
A cow belonging to Mr. West her by. a
well-to-do stockman, of Manhattan.
Kan., recently gave birth ton pair colts of
singular animals. They resemble
more than calves, although both pooncsn
rudimentary horns and the hoffs of cat
tie. but in all other respects they seem
to be voum* ,f horses, having long, flowiug
mane / au the tails of cohs. onlv these
i...« « ?»»>»>'/
f j. “'“‘t . tbl, T1 m< , t t, or however svms
s.'a...h» g .taorn.al
about them, and has decline.! to allow
them nourishment, so that they are to be
brought up bv hand. The mother is a
young Jersey of unmixed bree.1 and one
» f the most valuable animals on Mr.
Weatherby’s place. The other eat tie
» .» !?— !
’
Tna mtnaz*r. of tu« hff*r«n: banks m
casad*. *0 asset ad**
Ml ni«ar lUyF
y. ■v*-c —~!^ r " ■ >*****^^ ^1 |
ton** 1 ' '*
iff Wl / I
L^l f lu Ml
—~ generally dressed in
s ®
Wh ’ t e - addicted to
h women of Hawali are
:he , violin . . habit nainr.
A well-cared-for an .s * ae P
,a * beautiful woman. j
Mils Eijen Terry, the actress, is an ,
amateur photographer.
The Maine Federation of Women’s ^
Clubs has 1100 members.
j n these days the art of fine needle
work is in danger of decay.
stea min« the face and then rubbing in
,. i „ ® „ 00{ j t s; nfr
The statement is made that women
who tide bicycles are not graceful
walkers.
The Queen of Italy seldom appears in
a hat, and her bonnets are small and
close-fitting.
Mrs. Astor, the New York leader of
fashion, never pays less than $25 for a
pair of shoes.
Queen Victoria, of England, is very
fond of making omelettes, and it seems
has several receipts.
There is a tendency in the new silver¬
ware to a return of the straight fluted
patterns of the Seventeenth Century.
In these days of cheap stuffs the poor¬
est housemaid may wear a dress tinet
than that Justiniaa refused to his Queen.
Henrietta Herschfield, the first woman
graduate of the Philadelphia College ol
Dental Surgery, is assistant court dentist
in Germany.
A scientific authority has just given
out that a woman’s beauty arrives at its
maximum only after she has passed her
thirtieth year.
Florence Nightingale, the famous war
nurse, has started a health crusade
among the villages of Buckingham¬
shire, England.
Miss Marguerite Gombert has won her
degree of Doctor of Philosophy and
Letters at Brussels, Belgium. She is the
first woman to do so.
On the authority of Miss Romans, a
professor of gymnastics, the muscular
young women of Boston discard corsets
aud high heeled boots.
A sewing machine was included
among the presents the cx-Empress of
Germany gave her daughter, Princess
Margarethe, on her recent marriage.
M „ Olive Thorne Miller, the well
known ornithologist, has gone ou a trip
tQ Utahj California aud the Yellowstoue
Park in pursuit of her favorite study.
Golf is going to be a fashionable game
at Newport, R. I., this year, Among
the ladies who are now studying up the
subject are Mrs. Burke-Rochc and Mme.
Lanza.
Hrincess Kaiulani of Hawaii is said to
mucb mtSaaH vasle ana'Io^eToiM ’
^ piaving tho ukiiili, an instrument that
fa ^ ’ -?.?ribeJ as “a cross between the
^ t ar am , TO1IK p,ij u .»
^ ^ ^ for w()mcn . ft Londoa
<« “• T of.**,,
thri’r dailv luead'hi ^'u^city 0
Miss Martha Jordan, of Dallas, Texas,
is the first colored woman to prepare
for P^cticiug dentistry. She is
attending the Dental Department o'
Denver (Col.) Lai versify,
Lady Haberton, the originator of the
Euglisn Short Skirt League, is making
j thousands of converts to her opinion that
walking dresses should be at least five
inches off the ground all around.
Duchps9 o( .,-a.*£n Marlborou h ia es L , )e .
d-ij»i~.. p *
inside of doves’ wmgs. Gray velvet 11
a favorite of her grace, and with
ft s ^ e wrears her wonderful pearls,
The purple or cardinal veil is now
| | supplanted by a new favorite, the veil
which comes in dark shades of green,
This color is said to be becoming to all,
while the purple can only be worn by a
tew.
I The fashionable violet known as “emi¬
nence," or “pontifical” purple, is by no
means a universally becoming color, and
women who have not really very good
complexions should eschew it m all its
ramifications.
The prettiest women in the world are
said to be the women of Northern Italy,
They are a mixture of the French gentry
* n d the old Italian nobility and inherit
the vivacity of one country and Oriental
beauty of the other.
other J* cnUr men * 10 ot P ubU « . ,l G f ' re5 e ’ ^ J am a ’ lik ' Tlfe f e ma who ^
*«ends , *® • S rest d «f l of his corre¬
spondence for him. Mrs. Gresham is
j fond of Washington, but likes it best
when it is most deserted.
Ttaa old-fashioned gray haircloth is
offered at New York for dress linings at
twenty-five cents to thirty-five cents in
narrow widths. Its stickly, prickly
^f^who MK-wst anv ha'^“0“ amount of d ; scomfort
wear it
t v,„ ) p__
.isb social reformer, y is’ endeavorin eaJkavorm, ' to to
organize in London a suourban home in
which working women and girls can
each have a small private room at a low
Tai‘ ,i K:aijrca Frt‘ti.n.'« works! ^ ,
“ifSKSSSi knelt when confirmed, the u! late Emper
or*coffin rested upon it; the present
411 e rmcjsse;
. „
mamea s’tanding^ah sianumg on «.
The young Hawaiian Princess, while
wreaths^are use,! !?«*«'«■*■«*■? r «' rouad
-
° in S ,r ai ^ the be gardens. any to
, ,
“
where are the springs QW
tONCAGO .
Come near. O sun—O south wind. Ku»,
And be the winter’s captirss freed.
Wbrve are the springs of long ago’
Dr-re under ground the lingerie »ow,
^ nd U3 the grMn5War d Upon, lead:
Conie neal . 0 s m-O south wind, bio- :
Are the skies we used to know»
The budding wood,the fresh-blown meai?
Come near, Q sun—O south wind, blow'.
Tbe breathing furrow will we sow.
And patient wait the patient seeJ;
Come near. O sun—O -oath wind, biow I
The grain of vanisted years will grow;"
But not the vanished years, indeed I
Where are the spr.ugs of long ago?
W ith sodden leafage, lying low
Taey for remembrance faintly plead'
Come near, O sun—O south wind, blow I
Where are th» springs of long ago?
—Edith M. Thomas.
HUMOR OK THE BAT.»
Humbug—Bumble bee*.
Buv words—flow much?
A shining light—Jupiter.
A spokesman—The wheelwright.
A pronounced failure—Stuttering.
Room for improvement—I ha gym¬
nasium.—Truth.
“1 am willing enough to work,” said
young Steer, “but I can’t find anybody
to work.”—Elmira Gazette.
Cholly—“What kind ot a balance has
me vvawtsch?” Jeweler—••Probably an
unpaid one.”—Jeweler’s Weekly.
George—“I thought yoa were study¬
ing oil wells in the West.” Fred—“On,
I gate it up; it was such a bore, you
k non.”—E x cha uge.
Cnticus (looking at a picture of the
impressionist)—“if that’s high art, then,
I’m an idiot . v Cynicus—“Well, that is
high art.”—Tid-bits.
Extreme loquaciousness seldom goes
witn an air of prosperity. The more *
man talks through his hat the shabbier -
it gets.—Washington Star.
Crinoline or cholera.
Which one will it he
To sweep the western continent
Xu eighteen ninety-three;'
—Detroit Free Press.
She—“Really, now, aren’t you a
married man?” He—“No. Why?" She
—“Oh. you have such a settled look.' 1
He—“Y'e^ I’ve been refused by thirteen
girls.”
Doctor—“I really believe you have
some kind of poison in your system.”
Patient (Gloomily)—“I' shouldn't won
der. What was that last stuff you gava
me?"—Judy.
A—“Hello, old chap! Congratula¬
tions! I hear you have married a lady
with an independent fortune!” B—“No;
I married a fortune with an independent*
lady.”—Vogue.
Daggs “What are you reading)
there?" Scaggs—“The story of ‘Shfl
Who Must ok ooeyeu'. of “Daggs—«/ug hired girl.”—<
yes; the romance a
Somerville Journal.
Borker—“Spoodlc has married a girl
who knows half a dozen languages.”
Nagger—“Poor fellow, I pity him I My
wile only knows one language, and I find
that one too many.”
Love peeped into the cottage,
And tbe building seemed all right.
But a scanty supply of pottage
Made him quickly take his flight.
—Truth, v
Parisian (to intimate friend)—“I
have brought the novel you asked me to
lend you, but, as you are not fond of re¬
turning books, I will take back a couple
hf yours as hostages.”—L’Eeho Francais,
Family Physician—“Well, Mr. Ay
ling, what is it now? Any fresh trouble
on hand?" Caller—“No, I don’t think
you could call it exactly a freaa trouble.
Doctor. It’s salt rheum.”—Chicago?
Tribune.
A stump orator wanted the wings of ai
bird, in the to broad fly to every land; village but he and collapsed* hamletj
when a man in the crowd sang out$
“You’d get shot for a goose bef ore yo«
flew a mile.”—Tit-Bits. j
Miss Poetique—“How dreamily de¬
lightful is the soothing sound of old;
ocean’s waves rolling up in the moon¬
light upon the silver sands!” Miss Prac¬
tical—“Yes, I always did like to hear,
the water sloshing around on the beach.’*
—Somerville Journal.
Biggs—“You say your wife alwayfl
pins a flower on your coat before you
leave home?” “Yes; she has for a
month." Biggs—“Well, it shows she
thinks of you.” “No; it’s because she
never can remember to sew on the but*
ton.’’—Chicago Iuter-Ocean.
A man can grow sad, melancholy, dys¬
peptic, bilious, hollow eyed, pale, de¬
jected, tired of life, cynical, cold
blooded, repcllaat and too dangerous 3
be at large, and still he will laugh
see a fat man chasing a street car that
going three feet to his one.—Detroitj
Free Press. i
“Want to buy some of those apples?
inquired the grocer’s clerk, “To b 3
some?” said tbe hopeless looking m
near the barrel, with a dry sob. “No,
don’t want to buy any; but if it doesu*
cost too much I’d like to stand here :
few minutes and indulge sparingly i
smelling them.”—Chicago Tribune.
“Halloa, Major,” said the Judge one
morning; “I haven’t seen you for a
week; where have you been?” ‘‘Been,
home ill as anything,” replied tho
Major. “You! Why you were alwaya,
as healthy as could be. What iu thw
world made you ill?” “Well, I tried to
follow some rules or. health I saw in th®
paper.”—Drake's Magazine.
gme kllM ,t .k« .p,,..:
parties sold for the highest possible
Heretotoro it has been . jstosarjr
{of ftK . b of |be a , »a» BO f require^
n> be give® to charitable uumuuaaa. %