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BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FKQ3I
VARIOUS SOURCES.
Spring—Ingratitude—An Object Wes¬
son — Rea I Courage — Equally
Pleasant to Contemplate—A
Shrewd Servant, Etc., Etc.
Behold! the days of spring are here,
All nature sings in joyful tune.
The birdlets warble sweet and clear,
And the small boy in the next yard amuses
himself by artaching his sister’s pet doll
to a full-grown, able-bodied toy bal¬
loon.
The leaves are pressed by fairies feet.
And the morbid feline proceeds to rehears?
her summer serenade all through the
dew-steeped night.
The sighiug youth writes sonnets to bis girl,
The tailor maid now dreams of gowns and
flats,
The lilies sweet their banners white unfurl,
And the hoarse young man with the large life
and flabby countenance makes
™X’’ by l0Ud ' y blWlins ‘ ' Sha,i
The lovers stroll the shaded Janes along,
The genial tramp from each keg drains the'
The grass now sprouteth upward green and
And strong. carefully taking of all the
bv note
above facts you may. without resource
to fickle almanacs, spring feel reasonably sure
that gentle is here.
—New York Sun.
INGRATITUDE.
Judge—“Prisoner at the bar, have
you anything to say before sentence is
passed?
Prisoner—“Yes, your honor. Will
you please date my sentence from the
time that that lunk-hended, long-winded,
son of a gun of a lawyer of mine started
to talk?”— Life. '
REAL COURAGE.
Jones and his friends were discussing °
the latest lion accident.
“Why, I ve been in the cage myself a
dozen times," boasted that inveterate
joker.
“And yon weren't afraid?”
“Of course not; the lions had been
taken out. ’’— Judge.
AN OBJECT LESSON.
Mrs. Brown- “Johnnie broke a pane
of-glass, but as he told me about it at
once, l eave him an apple.”
Mrs. Cobwigger— -That will teach
him a great lesson.”
Mrs. Brown—“I'm afraid not. As
soon as he had eaten the apple he wen! *
and nroke another window.'’—- Enoch.
A SHREWD SERVANT.
Young Cavalier (to his man servant)—
“John, what has become of the letter
that was on this table?”
John—*‘1 put it in the postoffice, sir.”
“But it wasn’t addressed.”
“I know it, sir; but l thought you
didn’t want anybody to know whom you
was writing to, sir.”— Teeis Siftings.
EQUALLY PLEASANT TO CONTEMPLATE.
“Father,’’said Mr. Skinnphlint’s eldest
son, with blood in his eyes, “that horse
of ours is a treacherous beast. He’ll be
the death of me some time, or I’ll be the
death of him.”
“Then I’ll sell him,” replied Mr.
Skinnphlint, gloomily, “A funeral
would east me every blamed cent the
animal is worth.”— Chicago Tribune.
THEN IIE WENT.
He (at 11:30)—“A friend of mine
paid me a high compliment to-day.”
She—“Indeed.”
lie- l 4 5es; he said there was a good
deal of vim and go in my composition.”
She (looking at the clock)—“There
may be a good deal of truth in the first
part of his statement, but—what, must
you go so early, Air. Green ?”—Yank x
Blade.
AT THE OFFICERS’ MESS.
Seuior Lieutenant (to new waiter, pro-
moted from the ranks)—“When you re-
move the plates always ask each gentle-
man if he desires a second help of soup.”
Next day. Waiter (changing the
plates)—“Will the Herr Lieutenant take
any mere soup?”
Lieutenant—‘ ‘ Yes."
Waiter—“There isn’t any left."_
Fliegendc Blaetter.
A HEAVEN ON EARTH.
Mrs. Gushine—“Oh, I am so charmed
with your home, Mrs. Quiverful. Such a
beautiful house, and such pleasant sur
roundings! and then such daughters, too.
I hope the young ladies realize that their
home is a perfect paradise.”
Uncle Joe (a mean old thing)—“Oh,
they live up to it, Mrs. Gushing. I as¬
sure you there is no marrying or giving
m marriage here.”— Lite.
TO TEST HIS ENTHUSIASM.
Ernest Peachblow (to the new boarder
from Chicago)—“Ah, Miss Lafitc, the
study of the occult sciences interests me
greatly. I love to explore with the keen
eyes of knowledge all the dark depths of
the mysterious, to delve into the regions
of the unknown, to fathom, as we mav
say, the unfathomable.”
Miss Lafitc—“May I help you to some
of the hash, 3!r. Peachblow?”— Puck.
A LONG SEARCH UNREWARDED.
44W Why , old ,, fellow , „ what , s the . matter? ,
\ou look as though you hadn t been
getting any sleep.
“Well, I haven't, in a way. My wife
lias always made it a rule to go through
my pockets, so last night I thought I’d
go through hers, to see how she liked it.
1 started searching for it as soon as she
was asleep, spent almost all night look¬
ing for it, and couldn’t find it after all.”
—Fliegendc Bio titer.
DIFFERENT FROM HER TREATMENT,
i • Bobby (looking- out of the window) —
“What’s the matter with that horse,
mamma?”
I Mother—“The horse is balky, Bobby;
he won’t obey liis driver.”
Bobby—‘•Well, what’s the man par¬
ting him for?”
Mother—“He is coaxing him."
a,n t t,ie wa v you treat me wnen I m
-
balky. ’—ietudon Tid-Bits.
HE GREW WEARY.
Young Writer—“Have you read mv
article in the current number of the
Beery Other .Monthly Reciew, .Miss Pene-
lope. ,
Miss Penelope—“No; that pleasure is
still in store for me. I heard papa say,
though, that he had read it.”
Young Writer—“Did lie not think
that I treated my subject in a very ex-
kuustive manner,
Mias Penelope—‘ Yes, J believe he did
say something about being tired.”
LOTS OF MILLIONS.
An insurance agent who has an office
o:i Earned street sat alone iu the office
the other day when a fairly well dressed
stranger entered, passed the time of day,
said:
“I called to inquire if vou could lend
me 115?”
“Why, you are a stranger to me,” was
the reply,
“Certainly, but I ask it as a stranger,
Will you lend me five?”
I i But you are not recommended.”
“Just so, and neither have I any
security to offer. Will vou or will vou
not?”
“I will not!”
“You refuse?”
“Ido.”
“ Very well, sir. I happen to be the
possessor of $4,000,000 in stocks, bonds-
and cash. I have no relative to leave it
to. I am trying human nature to find a
man who dares risk $5 on a principle.
When I find him I make my will in his
favor. You have lost. Good day, sir.”
—Detroit Free Press.
HIS TEST.
He rang the door hell with the air of
a man who was in quest of information,
and when the door was opened by a lady
with an angry light shooting from each
eye, and her brow loaded with a thunder
cloud, he politely took off his hat, and
said:
“Madam, pray excuse me, if I detain
you a moment.”
“What is it ?" she snapped.
t t 1 have been told,” he calmly began,
‘by every lady I have called on, that the
most intelligent and accomplished lady
in Atlanta lives at this number, and as
the firm I represent positively forbids me
from selling to any but the most refined
and highly cultured, I will beg you to
tell me whether or not I have been cor¬
rectly informed, before proceeding
further.”
The stern look in the lady's face had
gradually softened as he spoke,the angry by
light in her eyes was driven away a
pleasant glance,and when he had finished,
she smiled sweetly and asked:
“What have you for sale?”
The book agent swiftly undid his
pack, and said:
“Madam, I have here the most com¬
plete edition of--” and he sold her a
copy iu five seconds. —Atlantic Constitu-
lion.
The Trade of the Amazon.
The commerce of the Amazon River is
carried on under the Brazilian flag.
Foreigners are not allowed by law to own
steamers or sailing vessels employed in
inland navigation; hence it is necessary
* or capitalists who control the carrying
trade of the river to assign their interest
to Brazilians. “There are forty steamers
owned by an English line, which re-
reives a large mail subsidy from the
Brazilian Government for plying between main
various ports and villages on the
tributaries; and in return for this
financial support it is well satisfied to fly
the national flag.
Auother company has eight steamers
under similar conditions, and there are
as m:w > 48 a doM “ m f °» th “ ri f er
its tributaries . which sad under the
Brazilian flag. These sixty steamers are
gradually opening up the Amazon valley
to commerce. Only the smaller vessels
are now running beyond Maouos, at the
junction of the Negro, but next year the
largest English vessels will make regular
trips to Yquitas, a distance of 3750 miles
from the coast. This river trade is almost
completely in the hands of the Portu¬
guese merchants and the mercantile houses
represented at Para, a city of 50,009 in¬
habitants. — Bradstreet's.
Legal Descent of Properly.
Where a husband and wife arc lost at
sea, the law always assumes that he,
being the stronger, survived her by some
minutes or hours. On this opposition
he inherits her property (during the few
moments that he survives her), and on
his death his relatives inherit it from
followed
up in the French courts within the last
tea years, it was found that the wife out-
, ire(1 her husband, and the practice oi
, he bw had (l) ^ _ erer5od>
am: e.nt news.
CONDENSED FROM THE TELE
GRAPH AND CABLE.
THINGS THAT HAPPEN FROM DAT TO DAT
THROUGHOUT THE WORLD, CULLED
FROM VARIOUS SOURCES.
The striking carpenters of Chicago arc
becohiing riotous.
The gas titters of Chicago have decided
to strike on next Monday.
I he society of engineers Tuesday gave a grand
fete at Brussels on in honor of
Stanley.
In t he Austrian reichsrath, no Monday,
notice was given of 1,490 speeches to be
made during the budget debate.
( harles E. Kincaid, charged with the
murder ol ex - Represen ta t i ve Taulbee in
W ashington, was, on Monday, admitted
to bail in the sum of $20,000”.
Malignant diphtheria is epidemic in
the village of Vinning, Minn. Out of a
population of 150 persons, there has been
twenty deaths since the 1st of April.
In the court of general sessions at New
Nork. r on Tuesday, Daniel Finnigan eon-
lessed to a burglary for which his brother,
Henry Finnigan, was tried and convicted
last. week.
Ilis reported from Fort Worth that
ping New Orleans will probably be the ship-
point for the company that propose
to ship 150.000 beeves annually to Europe
and elsewhere.
In the Brazilian cabinet, General Pers-
coto General assumes the war portfolio becomes in the place min¬
ot Constant, who
ister of the new department of education,
posts and telegraphs.
States Attorney Longcnecker has dis¬
missed the case against Woodruff, the
Cronin suspect, at Chicago, on the ground
that the State believes Woodruff’s confes¬
sion is a fabrication.
In court in general term, at Washing¬
ton, T). C., on Monday, a decision was
announced in the held celebrated pan-electric of vio¬
ease. The court the charge
lation of agreement had not been sus-
lained.
interior A strong Swedish Africa expedition be started into from the
of is to
Loudon in May, under the leadership of
Johann Zachrisscn. It will establish sta¬
tions along its route, to aid in suppress¬
ing the slave trade.
A strike was inaugurated at John P.
Squire & Co.’s Cambridge, pork packing establish¬
ment, in East Mass,, Satur¬
day morning. Between TOO and 800, all
but a few of the employes, including
teamsters, are out, and the • factory is
practically shut down.
The trustees of the American Cotton
Seed Oil trust at New York, on Tuesday,
formally retired from control of the com¬
pany, and turned its officers and property
over to its successor, the Amevicau Cotton
Oil company, which is incorporated un-
dor the laws of New Jersey.
The convention of working girls ad¬
journed their three days’ session in New
York on Monday, after formulating plans
for the extension of working girls’ clubs.
A plan is also under discussion, at a sup¬
plementary session, for the establishment
of a newspaper to be known as the organ
of the working girls’ association.
A Pittsburg, railroad Pa., dispatch situation of has Tuesday
says: The never
been more gloomy than at present. The
Brotherhood of Railroad Trainmen has
taken up the cause of the switchmen.
The Brotherhood of Trainmen resolved
to cling to the switchmen in their de¬
mands, and presented grievances of their
own to be adjusted.
The Inman line steamship “City of
Boston” unloaded a part of her cargo at
her dock at New York, Monday morning,
without having entered the custom house.
In consequence the custom house author¬
ities stopped the work of unloading and
seized the vessel. Notice was sent the
Inman line officials calling for an expla-
nation. In default of this, confiscation
is threatened.
FIRING ON THE AGENTS.
ILLICIT DISTILLERS IN NORTH CAROLINA
SHOOT AT THE REVENUE MEN.
Three weeks ago the internal revenue
agent at Statesville, N. C., was informed
by a Wilkes county man named Lem
Wallace that there were five illicit distil¬
leries within a radius two miles in Wilkes
near the Iredell line. Wallace volunteered
to guide the officer to them. The agent
made an appointment with him to meet
him four nights ago, and accompanied
by Deputy Collector Harwell, left States¬
ville for the meeting point. The guide
failed to show up, and the agent
and deputy rode on toward Wilkes.
They met Deputies Pinnex and Mas-
tin and two storekeepers. The party were
riding along the road with woods on one
side. Eight shots w ere fired at them in
quick succession by men in ambush. The
agent’s horse reared and fell back cn him.
Keeping the horses between them and the
woods the officers got away. This was
about 2 o'clock in the morning. The
igent's horse was struck in the jaw with
i rifle bali and the agent got a slug
through the brim of his hat. Harwell’s
horse got a load of buckshot in his
ihoulder. The agent was badly bruised
by the falling of his horse on him, but
was not seriously hurt. This is the first
occurrence of the kind in that section.
HE FORGOT UIMSELF.
Miss Hauteur—How beautiful her high
notes are.
Bingley—Yes,but you should have seen
the ln-autiful high note I had to give
when I borrowed the money for our
tickets. Oh. ah, excuse me—yes, they
arc beautiful.—(Lawrence American.
WRIGHT. W. F' ALLKN.
F. II.
WRIGHT & ALLEN,
--DEALERS IN-
Dry Goods, Groceries,
Hats, Shoes,
HARDWARE AND SUPPLIES.
We can furnish you with High Grade
Fertilizers, the best on the market. Try
them. Best quality Corn, Hay, Oats, Bran.
Our stock of Ladies’ Goods is complete, and
we extend a cordial invitation to call and inspect
same. You will be pleused with what we have
to show you. ±
CRAWFORD SHERIFF'S SALES.
O EORGIA— Crawford County. —Will
U^be he sold town before of Knoxville, the court Ga., house withiu door the
m
iegal hours of sale on the first Tuesday
in April next, the following described
property, to-wit: Lot of land No. 77, in
the Seventh District of said couuty. con¬
taining 2J2 1-2 acres, more or less, levied
on under a fi. fa. i-sued from the Justice
Court of the 529th district, G. M., said
county, in favor of Johu A. Houser, vs.
B. F. Lee. 8. M. L ‘e an I E. 8. Lee, as
the property of said defendant found in
tueir possession. Levy made by the con¬
stable of said district and turned over to
me for sale. Terms, cash. Witness my
hand officially, this February 26th, 1890.
B. A. HARTLEY,
Feb. 23th, ’90. Sheriff.
G EORGI A— Crawford County. —W.
J. McGee, Administrator de bonis
non of David McGee, dec ased,lias applied such
me for letters dismissory, and
letters will be granted applicant on the
first Monday in April next, unless good
objections are filed. Witness my hand
officially, this Januarv 1st 1890.
O. P. WEIGHT, Ordinary.
Jan. 1st 3rn.
G EURGIA— Crawford County.- Ed¬
ward Mi chell has applied to me lot
of personalty and valuation
homestead. I will pass on same on the
first Monday in March next. Witmss
my hand officially, this Jan. 31st, 1890.
O. P. WRIGHT, Ordinary.
G EORGIA— Crawford Count y.—
James A. Moore and John 1. Cham-
piou, executors of James Roberts, de¬
ceased, have applied lo me for letters of
dismission from their executorship. filed, will Un¬
less good objections aie I
grant them letters dismissory on the liist
Monday in June, 1890. Witness my
bund officially this the 4th day of
Much, 1890. O. V. WR1GIIT,
Ordinury.
Q E( )RGI A— Crawford Count y.—
W. K. Eubanks Executor of Eligah
Eubanks, deceased, has in due form ap¬
plied to me for letters of dismission from
his executorship. Unless good objec¬ said
tions thereto are filed, I will dismissory grant to
W. K. Eubanks such letters on
the 1st Monday in June, 1890. Witness
my hand officially. P. WRIGHT,
O.
Ordinary.
Ij EO RGIA— Cr aw ford Coun ty. — W .
M. Taylor, administrator of estate of
Rufus Carter, deceased, has administration applied for
letters dismissory from the
of said estate, and such letters will be
granted on the first Monday in May next,
unless good objections are filed. Witness
my hand officially, *0. this January 27th,
1890. P. WRIGHT,
jan 31-13 Ordinary*.
pEOUGlA —Crawford County. —A.
t|C. Sanders and James ofThos. M. J. Sanders, Sanders,
executors of the will
deceased, have applied to me for letters
dismissory from their executorship;
therefore all persons concerned are here¬
by required to show cause, if any they
have, on the first Monday in May next,
why such letters should not be granted.
Witness my baud officially. January
27th, 1890. O. P. WRIGHT,
Jan. 81—13t Ordinary.
P EORGIA— Crawfor d County. — II.
U M. Burnett, administrator on estate
of Mrs. Martha Stem bridge, deceased,
has applied to me for letters of dismis¬
sion from the administration of said es¬
tate, and same will be granted on good the
first Monday in July next, unless
ol jeetions are filed. Witness my hand
officially this April 1st. O. P. 1890. WRIGHT.
Ordinary.
O EORGI A —Crawford County. —W.
13 J. Slocumb. as administrator of the
estate of S. P. Williamson, deceased, has
applied for letters of dismission from
said trust. This is therefore to cite all
peraons concerned to show cause, if any
they have, within the time should prescribed
by law why said application not
be granted. hand officially this, tht
Witness my
31st day of March. 1890.
O. P. WRIGHT.
Ordinary.
PROFESSIONAL CARDS.
R. D. Smith. W. P. Blasihgame,
SMITH & BLASINGAME,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
Knoxville, Ca.
Prompt and faithful attention given to.
all business entrusted to their care.
MOSEY CHEAP AND EASY.
(O)
If you want CHEAP ANI) QUICK
3IOXEY, on easy and liberal terms, you
can get it by calling on
W. P. BLASINGAME,
Attorney a? Law,
Knoxville, Ga.
DR.W.F. BLASINGAME
DENTIST,
Knoxville, - - Georgia.
I respectfully tender my services in the
Practice of Dentistry to the citizens of
Knoxville and effort surrounding country, and
will spare no work and to perfect secure satisfaction. my patrons
com petent
S-®’*Charges Reasonable.
KNOXVILLE
HIGH SCHOOL
SPRING TERM.
. .January 13
o ......I une 27
FALL TERM.
Opens.. September *
... 1.
Closes.. ... December 19.
Rate of tuition for All Classes. $2 pei
month. A jrro rata alio wain e will be
made for Public Fund.
Each pupil will be taught by the most
modern methods.
hei I cordially solicit your patronage. Fwr-
• information will be eheerfuHv fur¬
nished by
C. C. POWER:
Principal.
THE HARRIS HOUSE,
KNOXVILLE, GEORGIA.
Always open to public patronage. We
try to please our guests. Comfortable
Room aud good Fare. Free hack to and
from Depot.
Z f T. KARRIS,
Proprietor.
NOTICE.
I will be at the following places for re¬
- iving tax returns for the present year,
_ T’
t a * r ‘ ’ c* iru on Monday.
T S? > Cl 4 i i € “ “ Tuesday.
c t it i i i i Wednesday.
it it “ Thursday.
Webb’s Oi 44 “ “ Wednesdav.
Hammocks 1st “ “ May Thursday.
Beasley’s 3d 44 4 4 Friday.
Knoxville 10th “ “ 4 4 Saturdav.
R. H. KNIGHT,
Tax Receiver.
March 19th. 1890. tf
A SIMPLE RATIFICATION.
“Well, papa has ratified our engage*
ment, Josephus, dear.”
“Good! But what did he say?
“Hesimply said ‘Rats!’”—(Puck.