Newspaper Page Text
VOL. 11.
THE VJiIILYET
2s published every Saturday by / L
JWBI\SOJ\\ tVarrenton, Geo. at
three dollars per annum, which may be
discharged by two dollars and fifty
jcents paid within sixty days of the
time of subscribing. .
COliitl'jbHiP,
After my sleigh ride, Inst winter
aid the slippery tri< k 1 was served by
Pa, a ty Bern, nobody would suspect me
of I tinkering after the woman agai <
in a hurry. To hear me curse and
swear and rail out against the whole
feminine gender, you would have ta
ken it for granted that I should never
so much as look at one again, to ali
eternity. Q, hut I was wicked—
l)arn and blast their eyes—says I.—
Blame their skins—torment their
hearts and darn them to darnation ’
Finally I took an oah, and swore
that if 1 ever meddled or had any
dealings wiih them again, (in the
sparkling line I mean,) I wished 1
might be hung and choked.
But swearing off from woman, and
then going into a meeting house chock
full of galls, all shining nd glittering
in their Sunday clothes arid clean fa
ces, is like swearing off from liquor
and going into grog shop. [ts all
smoke.
1 held out and kept, firm to my oath
for three whole Sundays. Forenoons,
after forenoons, and intermissions
complete. On the fourth, there was
strong symptoms, of a change of
weather. A chap about ny size was
seen on the way to the in mriug-hou e, j
with anew patent hat *n; ois he *d
hung by the ears up m a shirt cboilar;
his < ravat had a pudding in it, and
branched out in from, into a double
bow knot He carried a strait bac k
and a stiff neck, as a man ought to
when he has his best clothes on; and
every time in* spit, he spun his body
forward, like a jvt- k-kiiife, in order to
shoot dear of tin* ruffles.
Squire Jones’ p. w is next but two
to mine/ & when I sUml up to prayera
and take my coat tail under my
arm* and turn my back to the minis
ter, I naturally look straight at Sally
Jones. Now Sally had got a face not
to be grinned at in a fog. Indeed, as
regf-rds beauty, some folks think she,
can pull an even yoke with Patty
Bean. For my part, I think there is
not much hoot between them. Any
how, they are so nigh matched that
they have hated and dispised each
other, like rank poison, ever since
thev* were school girls.
Squire Jones had got his evening
fire on, and set himself Sown to read
ing the great bible, when he heard a
rap at the door.-— ‘Walk in. Well,
John, how der do? Git out, Pompey.
—Pretty well, I thank ye, Squire,
how do you do?—Why, so as to be
crawling—ye ugly beast will ye hold
yer yop—haul up a chair and set down
John.
<How do you do, Mrs. Jones?’—
<O, middlin,’ how‘s yer inarm? Don't
forget the mat there. Mr. Beedie.’
This put me in mind that I had been
off soundings several times, in the
long muddy lane; and my boots were
in a sweet pi< kle.
It was now old Captain Jones turn,
the grandfather. Being reused from
a doze, by the hustle and racket, lie
opened Ins eyes, *.t the. first with
wonder and astonishment. At last he
began to haloo so loud that you might
hear him a mile; for he takes it tor
granted that every budy isjust exact
ly as deaf as he is.
‘Who is it? 1 say, who in the world
is it? Mrs. Jones, going close to his
ear, screamed out. ‘lta Johnny Bce
dle.’ ‘Ho— Johnny Beedie. I rcinem-
Warrenton, October in, 1820.
r, he was e summer at <he siege
f Boston.’ No, .o, father, bless your
“art, that was his grandfather, that's
eon dead and gone these twenty
years.’ ‘Mu—but where does he
one from?’ *oa wn taown.’ ‘Hi
oid what does he follow for a livin?’—
Ynd be did not stop asking questions,
fter this sort, till all the pari ulars
.‘f die Beedlr family were published
nd proclaimed in Mrs. Jones’ last
screech. H then sunk back into his
doze again.
The dog stretch and himself before
one andiron; the > at squat down be
tore the other. Silence came on by
degrees, like a calm snow storm, till
nothing was beard but a cricket under
the hearth, keeping tune with a sappy
yellow birch forestick. Sally sat up
prim as if she were pinned the chair
back; her hands crossed genteelly up
on her lap, and her eyes looking
straight into the fire. Mommy Jones,
tried to straighten herself too, and
laid her hands across in her lap. But
they would not lay still. It was full
twenty four hours since they had done
any work, and they were out of all
patience with keeping Sunday, Do
what she would to keep them quiet,
they would bounce up, now and then,
and go through the motions, in spite
of the fourth commandment. For my
part l sat 100 in,g very much like a
fool. Tne more 1 tried to say some-
tiling, the rnorciny tongue siu< k fast.
’ 1 put my rigot leg over my lelt* and
said ‘hem/ Then l changed, and put
;tne left leg over the right. It was
no us ; the silence kept coming on
thicker and thicker. The drops
of sweat began to crawl over me.
I got my eye on my hat hanging on
a peg, on the road to the door; and
then l eyed the door. At this mo
ment the -dd Captain, alt at once,
sung out ‘Johnny Beedie! It soun
ds and like a dap of thunder, and I start
, od right on eend.
Johnny Beedie, youdl never handle
such a drum stick as yur father did,
if you live to the age of Methuaaler.
Ho would toss up his drum stick, and
! while it was hurimg in to air, take off
i a gill er rum, and then ketch it as it
| come down, without loosin’ a stroke
jin the tune. What d’ ye think of that
ha? But puli your chair round, close
along side er me, so yer can hear.
Now, what have you come a’ter?’ *1
O jest to see how ye all do.’
‘Ho —that's another lie.— You‘ve
come a courtin, Jonny Beedie; ye‘rc
a‘tef our Sal. Say, now d‘ye want
to marry or only to court?’
Tins was wnat L call a choakcr.
Poor Sally made hut one jump and
landed in the otddle ot the kitchen;
and then she skulked in the dark cor
ner tilt the old man, after laughing
himself into a whooping cough, was
put to bed.
Then came apples and cider; and,
the ice being broke, plenty ot chat
with inamy Jones about the minister
and the •sarnioa.* I agreed with her
to a nicety, upon alt the points of doc
trine; but I bad lorgot the text and
,il the heads of the discourse, but six.
Then she teazed and tormconted me
to tell who i accounted the best singer
in the gallery, that day. But mum
there was no getting that out of me.
‘Praise to toe lace is o(ten disgrace,
throwing a sly squint at Sally.
\t last, Mrs. Jones lighted t‘other
candle, and after charging Sally to
look well to the fire, she led the way to
bed, and the squire gathered up his
shoes and stoi kings and followed.
Sally and I were a good yard a
part, honest measure. For fear of get
ting tonguetied again, l set right in,
with'a steady stream of talk. 1 told
her all the part.cutars about tin*!
weather that h*s passed, and piso
made sonic pretty cute guesses at
vhat it whs like to he in future. A
first, E gave a hitch up with my cliai
at every f|II stop. Then growing
saucy 1 repented it at. every com ua,
and semicolin; and at list, it was
bitch, hitch,bitch, and I plauted my
self fast by tie side of her.
‘I swow, Sillv, you look so plaguey
handsome today, that I wanted to eat
you up*’ ‘Pshaw, git along with
you, says slie. My hand had crept
along somehow, upon its lingers, and
begun to scrape acquaintance with
hers. She suit it home again with a
desperate jerk. ‘ Try it again’—no
better luck. ‘Why, Miss Jones,
you're gettin’ upstropulous, a little old
maidish, 1 guess.* ‘Hands off is fair
play, Mr. Beedle.*
It is agiud sign to find a girl sulky,
I knew where the shoe pinched, it
was that ars Fatly Bean business. So
1 went to work to persuade lier that I
have never had any notion after Patty,
and to prove it 1 fell to running her
down at a great rate. Sally could not
help chiming with me, and 1 rather
guess Miss Patty suffered a few 1,
now, not only got hold of her hand
without opposition, but managed to
slip an arm round uor waist. But
there was no satisfying me; so 1 must
go poking out my lips after a buss. 1
guess I rued it. She fetched me a slap
in the face that made me see stars .mil
my ears rung like a brass kettle for a
quarter of an hour. 1 was forced to
laugh at the joke though out of the
wrong side of my mouth, which gave
my face something the look ot a gridi
rons
The battle now begun in the regu
lar way. ‘Ah, Sally, give me a kiss,
ad ha’ done with it now. I won*t, so
there, nor tetch to. And ai it we went
rough and tumble. An odd destru:-l
tion of starch now commenced. Tin !
bow of my cravat was sqat up in half
a shake. At the next bout, smash
went shirt collar, and, at the same
time, some of the head fastenings gave
way, and down came Sally‘B haw* in a
flood, like a mill dam broke loose,—
carrying away half a dozen combs
One dig of Saily‘s elbow, and my
blooming m flies wilted down inti a
dish cloth. But she had no time to
boast. Soon her neck tackling began
to shiver. It parted at the throat, and
whorrah, came a whole school ot blue
and white beads, scampering and
running races every which way, a
bout the floor.
By the Hoky; if Sally Jones isn‘t
real grit, then there*s no snakes. She
fought fair, however, l must own, and
neither tried to bite or scratch; and
when she could fight no longer, lor
want of breath, she y ielded handsome
ly. Her arms fell down ny her sides,
her head dropped back over her chair,
her eyes closed, and there lay her lit
tie plump mouth all in the air. Lord!
did ye ever see a hawk pounce upon
young robin? Or a bumble bee upon a
clover top?—lsay nothing.
(Jon9arn it, how a buss will rrack,
of a still frosty uigbt. Mrs. Joins
was about half way between alseep
and awake. —‘There goes my yeast
bottle, said she to herself, burst into
twenty hundred pieces, and my bread
is all dough again.’
The upshot of the matter is I leli in
love with Sally Junes, head over ears.
Every Sunday night, rain or shine,
finds me rapping at Squire Jones* door
and twenty times have i been within a
har*s breadth of poping the question.
But now 1 have made a final resolve;
and if I live till next Sunday night,
uid 1 dm*t get choked in the trial,
S illy Jones will hear thunder.
NEW YORK POLlTE. —August 22.
JEALOUSY.
The green eyed monster seems to pos
sess in ire influence over mind* of negroes
than of white men. Whether the former
have m ‘re reason to feel jealous we
couldn't sav. but it is prevailing among
them. Jack Kndcrman appeared at the
bar, this morning, and complained against
a long negro named Jim Whiston, who
had, he said, been seducing the affections
of his‘lubly Rosa ’ Now Jim had more
real ‘nigger’ appearance about him than
any black we have seen.’ He was as black
a* ink and his countenance shone as res
plendent as a polished boot; his lips
were about an inch ihick. almost folding
on the,outside and displaying his ivory to
great advantage. Jack stated that for
several days he thought his wife Rose had
treated him with great coolness and hau
teur, but hp could not divine the reason
why. At length he b’ gun to suspect that
tiie charm 9 of his fair partner, might
have caused some ‘gentle swain’ to pay
Ins devoirs to liei Full of idea, the mo%
‘inentit was conceived, for Jack was not
;over and above quick in conception) he
resolved to ferret out the intruder whoso
ever he might be. Accordingly he told
Rose that he should be absent for the
night; instead, however, absenting him
self. he merely secreted his person in the
vicinity, so that he might perceive any
intrusions within the pale of his domestic
happiness A about ten o’clock the
defendent Jim, having b**en notified of
the absence of Jack, appeared under the
window of the houwe, ringing—
‘Lubly Rosa, ome,’
in a most irresistible manner. Jack said
nothing. Presently the window opened,
and horror of horrors! Rose appeared and
answered—
‘Dat vou Jimmy, Rosa come,
Soon as 1 make foe indeha k room.’
The door then opened, and Jim entered.
Jack now arose from his hiding place and
proceeded to the window; thro’ a broken
pane he observed Jim sitting in a chair,
and Rose on his lap —quite lovingly! Jack
said his heart bumped and felt at thatmo
ment as if it was full of pins. He could
stand it no longer —but made a spring
through the door and stood directly in
front of the amorous couple. Had a clap
of thunder, a bomb shell, or any such tri
fle exploded and struck them it would
have been nothing, but now they were
quite dumfoundered. Jack called a watch
man, aud thi- morning he appeared with
Jun at th<- Police bar. The magistrates
repi imanded Jim. but did not think the
case was one of police cognizance—so the
parties were discharged.
The following extraordinary effect
of the Earthquake at Lima, in 1828,
was witnessed by an “(Brer of his
M*ijeßty‘sship Volage;—* At half past
7 o‘clo< k on the morning of the 30tb
•if March, a light cloud passed over
the ship—at which moment the noise
usually attendant on earthquakes id
that country, resembling heavy dis
tant thunder, was heard. The ship
was violently agitated; and, to use
the words of the informant, felt as if
placed on trucks , and dragged rapidly
over a pavement of loose stones. The
water around ‘hissed as if hot iron was
immerced in it;’ immcnce quantities of
air bubles rose to the surface, the gag
from which was offensive. Numbers
of fish came up dead alongside The
sea, before calm and clear, was now
strongly agitated and turbid; and the
ship rolled about two streaks/ say
fourteen inches, each why. A cry of
♦There goes the town!’ called the at
tention of the crew towards it. A
cloud of dust, raised by the agitation
of the earth and the fall of the houses,
covered the town from view, whilst
the tow er of the garrison cbappel, the
only object visible above the dust
ckul for a few seconds, and then
No. 18.