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VOL. 11.
THE UUiHsET
Is published every Satu> day i. L.\
ROBE'S B()JS\ Warrentoriy Geo. at:
three dollars per annum, which may be I
discharged by two dollars and fifty 1
cents if paid within sixty days of ihe
time of subscribing
FROM NEAL’S VAAKi.E.
COURTSHIP
I woulu gi v e three quarters of all lam
‘worth in the world, and that is no trifle
for me, to know how to court as our grand
mothers w< reicourted, conscientiously
People of no experience in the nutter;
may laugh at the idea; and they who
have been courting all their lives long,
without ever getting ahead may pity me.
But I am not a fellow to be laughed out of
my Christain name, or pitied out of a
fixed belief. I know what I am about,
bachelor though I am; and I not only have
my reasons for whal I say, but very good
reasons too. There is nothing more dis
ficult to go through with; nothing so rarej
on earth, I do beiieve, as what I call a!
conscientious courtship; a courtship, that I
is, where both parties act like reasonable
creatures.
My brothers, who are all married and
setibd in life, and who never see me
without expressing a wish that I would
cast anchor somewhere, late as it is, and
give a pledge to posterity for my good
bell viour—they would leave it all to mi
tuie. Bu>. I say no Nature is never to
bo ti ustod in courtship - —if she wer*-* I
should have been married ages ago. Ni
ture may get a fellow into a scrape, that
she may—but whoever saw her help tom
out of one. where the affections weic bu
sy? Marriage, to be respectable or safe
ninst be the marriage of the fm id. as well
as of the heart—of the under funding and
judgement, as well as ,ol fhp [m/urai*iauu
B anl * secret longings of our na
t'l'C .
But to the point XS hen I w j as a you g
mac I had a habit of making love—that i**,
of try agio be agreeable to every pretty
woman that fell in my way. I here was
no harm in (hat. I hope-
But as to courting, I protest to you
render; I never had the heart for such a
thing. Not that 1 never had the desire;
not mat such stories were never told of
me; for 1 cannot deny that I yearned af
ter a wife, long before I knevv what a wife
was good for, and that, in our village, 1
have beet) betrothed to somebody or oth*
ei for nearly fifty years; although, as I
hope to be— married. I was going to s;.y,
though I am eld enough now to know
better, I nev* r squeezed a woman s hand
in my life except by accident—as where
she stumbled over a ditch, or one or both
slipped, we held on our way over ice,
aid through snow, half leg deep in the
drift , on a moonlight evening in the d< pth
of January; nor have I touched the lip of
a woman for the last quarter of a century,
except in the way if trade, (I draw teeth*
occasionally) or after a game of button,’
when 1 was obliged to ob f, v, whether I
would or no,or lose a handkerchief or a
penknife, and the girls were ( bilged to
hoi j still, or lose their combs.
But t<> rny particular case. When I
first sr out in life, I determined to be
married as soon as ever I could find a tol
erably handsome, toler blv good t mper
ed, tolerably well educated, heabhy wo
man. Whose fault was it if, with such
a reasonable hope—l went wandering
about. 1 will not say how lor g. I will not
say how far in search ofa companion. I
w nted no beauty, no tp iress, no female
of birth or accomplishment. On the con
tra'y, I should have been satisfied with
any such woman, as any reasonable man
thaf knew me. my temper, habits, and
condition, family and feeling would have
recommended to me —Nay, 1 would have
a ated something even from this, hid I
been allowed to judge for myself.
But though I made up mv mind to be
married without delay. I was determined j
not to buy a pig in a p< ke, nor ever to j
marry in a liurrv, and repent ar leisire;’
but to look br for. 1 leaped— according’
to I). maxims f rtf* gnr dfather. himel
an oid bachelor,'with whom they origina
J * r
Wis j rento'.i, (lctob< >.s j, | ,^29.
lied. But how was Ito find out the real
temper ami worth oft e females l knew,
jit Ivveni to work at once in the shape of a
j lover? How, if it was known that I was
altera wife? how. without biing made
icquainted with their true temper, their
h‘Usehold worth, that which the married
man would have to put up with, and live
with all uis life long, without being allow
ed to visit them on the most familiar foot
ing? so go when I was invited—to go
I when others were invited—would never
satisfy me 1 -liould b * -ure to see mv
dear in a holiday humour. No, no—l
like to cat* h people in the *ud—-f like to
fall upon them by surprise, wit n it is
washing-day not only with their hands,
but with their temper.
Yo ; see now what l was obliged to do
and 1 did it conscientiously—l was obli
ged to give the folks an idea [ di I
not mean to marry at all; ‘hat 1 was not
after a wife; and then, that I might avail
. myself of the stratagem (a lawful one, I
| insist upon it,. whe.e a nan reailv wishes
ito marry like a reasonable creature.) I
was obliged to become very intimate with
(he only woman I knew that appeared to
be fittej) for me. She was a warm hearted,
generous girl, of no great beauty to he
sure, as the world goes; hut she had a
! clear eye, a rich mouth, a plenty of good
! humor, was not worth a shilling, and ap
peared to be somewhat >n danger from
her poverty. 1 succeed and pretty well the
fi. -t week or two 1 was regarded as a
n ighb.iur then as a friend, then as a sort
of relation, and fi ally before the mouth
was over, as an adopted brother Hang
such brothers I sa>! We were on such
good terms, that I was allow* and to pop in
without knocking, at all reasonable hours,
night oj day; o furnish her itfle bedroom
with flowers; to lift her blind mother about
in the old arm chair, and go h with
te l, .gh the
mean time, all her other beaux ithdrew,
the neighbors t*n*k up the affair—and
while we were and; wing ou cooclusio s,
one by one, they lumped them al! togeth
er, and made a match of it. What was 1
to dn? I was neither engaged nor be
trothed— I might never be so—ami yet.
how could 1 bear to give her up? I had
never . pened my lips to the girl, or the
mother, on the. subject of marriage, vet
th--y and every b dv else appeared to
look upon it as a settled affair.
And so aft r lying awake all night, 1
concluded to do (lie conscientious tiling—
fin I had become rather di* atisfied with
th> way of our companionship. How
were w ever to know each other heart
and soul as we sli *u'd be known to each
other, fir the higher and holier purposes
of marriage, if we continued our intima
cy? And how if we did not? I never
was half so much puzzled in my life.
So to cut the matter short, 1 concluded
to withdraw—but to do it so gradually as
to excite no remark and only w o far that
I could keep . n eye on her path, and re
turn to her when I pleased. This would
leave us at liberty not only to judge, but
to act for urselves. Header, 1 put it to
you—was I to blame? Would y*u ad
vise any body to buy a pig in a poke, ora
wife in a holiday dress? With more wit,
perhaps, I sh uld have been safe; with
less I know Ish>u and But I was like the
birds that are frightened away from the
cor: field by a piece of rugged cloth, or a
bit of woolen yarn - I knew just enough
to be made a fool of with impunity.—
Had I known less, I should neither have
sepn nor suspected a trap; more, l should
not have been frightened with a bit of a
pack thread, nor have mistaken a coat j
for a man. But mr beloved Bertha —
who never cared a fig for the opinion of
others, when it interferred with her own,’
would not give up what she insisted on
calling our friendship; but begged anil
prayed of me to continue to regard her,
a? I always had, like a brothei—b!es the
d< ar giH! —whatever the go-sip* of the
neighborhood ni’ght say. It l left her
now, people would think l did so on ac
ci-unt of the reports —and here she blush
ed crim -on—or that we had been quarrel
ling. A for herself, she was determind
never to be a slave to the judgement of o
tL.crs. 1 f her conscience did not reproach ;
tier vfi.y .oMuhl Vie n v i tile repi .MC i t
others/ Nat that she would iev**r mak
any saerme ev.'.n to propi i e.'ror -e
----\en io so ith pvejudi.e; bu. sue nevei
w >ul I m ki a disp.opmtionate one—
Here a gi iri.ra* colour overspread th *
whole bread h ot her low Greek forehead
and the half blown rok -s th re tremble 1
with sympathy Thure was the tran-it
of a star-like and; earn ovh-her lighted sac *
a g ow like that of asu um r sunset in
the depth of July, over the new dipped
water idy; an I uer large hazel eves ran
over with big drops of lignt I comd
hardly get my biestli. F<r lit o.vn part,
she had never misunderstood me for a
moment—‘he gipsy—and having deter
mined never to marry, on ac*- iunt if her
po*r blind mo her. (Iferv-nce falter ‘d,
uere, an 1 it was as much as I could do to
keep ftom jumping up and crying out, 1
wi 1 have you, Bertha!) she would contin
ue ra be toy sister, and 1 should be her
brother, let people say wliut they would
There was no standing thi*. I saw <ny
j danger, [knew that ray plan was ail
kii ickod in the head forever, if I g ive up
Yet I tow could I refuse to be her broth t.
only her brother, you know? What if it
should encourage a hope in her that might
never be readz *1? And what if it dul
drive all othpr suitors away, and seal up
the charm of her youth and beauty in the
flush ot her high maidenhood—why even
that was no business of name, if she in
sist' j d on desiring it. I knew that sh
would look upon me as a lover, in spite
of all her declarations to the contrary.
And how could I hope to know her re
al character —if her real character wa
not what it should be, if I did give up, if
I continued to vidt her as intimately a?
b'fore*—a lover in the disguise of a b* uth
er? Huv could I ever know that I wa
preferred, if there was no obstacle in my
wa)? Thus l argu<d with mvself. And
i loved litr. iTI a- a " w
me lo do otherwise Ilian I It;’" 0
verthelesg. | determined t > ue’wary, ai'oT
to throw the neighbors upon a wo g
seen', before they h id driven u- into eac h
other's arms, in spite, of her modesty and
my-conscience without allowing us to gri
acquainted with each other. I played m\
pact well—very well—for in th* ee months
from the day L was re instated, poor 11
tha was in a grave, and I was looked u:n> •
as her destroyer—charged wwh having
broken her heart As 1 live we should
imve b en married but for their meddling;
and at tiie moment of her death, 1 woul
have gladly died with her.
THE WAY TO KEEP HIM.
A bout 10, !a*t evening a man wa
seen coming down by Mie ->pout of a lo v
three story house, in the northern part
ofthe city. Several persons collected;
and among them a young physician, w*i.
supposing it to he a case it somuambuli-in
kept the others quiet, lest the man, awak
ed sudenly by noise, should fall and break
his neck. When he came down, however
he was found to be as wide awake as any
of the starers- On being qu stioned he
said he was a member of a culb which
met every Thursday night. He thought
he al ways came home sober, though hi?*
wife said he had gone to bed drU'.k every
Thursday night since he joined the club
‘The only proofshe cau bring of that,’ he
added, is that I get up every Friday morn
ing with my clothes on. Ju"t as l was go
iug out to night, she got me to go into th
garrot to set a rat trap and when I tried ts
come out, 1 found she had locked me in.
She said, through the key hole, ihat she
would set me free if I would agree to giv
up the club, and join a temperance so
ciety; hut 1 had too much spunk so.
thr 1. So, after working fwo or thre*
hours at tiie door, I got out on the root,
and here 1 anr’ Having finished - In
speech, he turned off, in hopes to lini?i
the evening with his croriie-, when Mr
Sneak issued from *he house, accompmi
pd by a Stour, thin-iipped, bare armed go
sip. Each seized an arm. In spite • I
poor Jerry *s struggles, they dragged Inn
with great ease inlo the liou-e. and bolted
the door f> r die night. Ihe audience gave
thi?e cheeis and went home to bed.
Phil. Chronicle
Prom the J\\ 1 Evening Post.
Th i .ilowing un u-* au* ei wsement
.ii a.u ise our re okas. The wife
in nave rather th * eat of the argument,
ml toe punning * ms in wh.cli she has
ciio-ea to express h r idem, as well as the
comical nature of some of the id* a* them
v s, are very diveitiog
JYotice —VV hei eas, my wfie C'ath Pile
1’ >o .ni, has t ils and -y l ft toy n and Hod b>*ird
wi h i.u any ju-t .ause to ptovoction this
i* iiieietore to t rbul any person htuii* ru g
or rusimg uer on my account, as I will
pay uo detns he.edt-r other contracting.
JEBELMAH THOKAN.
Nlobii.e. S* pi. 22.
To the public .—llavi .g iir.g since utt
termiued i • quit my present hu-b.nul Je
ledian i'uo/an, i this day acted in accor
dance to my resolution and left him as J
•- ust forever, unless Heaven in its wiath
ay cood inn ine to his company in ono
t ierst.it -i donH mean in another of the
United Siutes—nor in a holy *tate,foi m
suen a taie 1 never lived—but in a h* re
afiei state. My husband threatened to ad
v * use me if i letl hjui and 1 presume hg
Wan n<t leav- Ins tin eat unaccom. li-hed,
and therefore make tins statement that ihe
puiilic may he furnished with both sides of
ue question at me same time, ano be
ilieieuy auie to judge between us, lot it
must be known m t uy reputation is very
dear ui me, masioui ii as it cost (lie a great
deal and l.oubu to get what little 1 am pos
sessed ot.
Tut unu-e he took me to when we
wer* fit si mai ned in had told m* so ma
ny siones aooul that 1 thouglu it ha* at
least three stonea, unit it all was a un re
- ory-ile *tad p o used me tine fuinnu'e
and wu*.o 1 pim.-d lor it tie got me a pne
t hie anil ueat me witn the lei s; he h and
not a chair in the ho ise, and never even
fu. in hi and me wuli a stool exc< pt the stool
ol repentance. 1 nevei drank tioma cup
ot ms except iiom a cup ot sorrow; th re
wa’ tint i vviiuJo in his house except m
wi n* i, and then ttieie was wind oti e
—o •
111 ior a winding sheet tor one who had
died in a h , ami he was always complain
ing 1 took airs up o m*s< If, when hi is the
t iinr ol iwij ue r i oave.
1 must be pi ice v u that I have been a
si*in>kiiigly abu-**d woman. O .ly lasi Sat-
Ur >ay oigtit In- aoe tetlirig a-*d tiiidling
Uji mme a**d i*q st* dto know wh-.t he
siiouid send ou .o in. sh* p and get tor
me and the children, a*d to la-t over
Sunday, 1 .old him a cents worth of snuff,
a biscuit, a candle and a half pint of ruin
—now l almost nve upon snuff and he
lefused Kj and it is too much for Huh
.•nil blood to beat; my blood <s turned to
ink, and there’s ‘haidly an atom of my
anatomy,’ and Ido believe if / was dead
aud properiy dated, an old fassioned snuff
laker might take my remains at a pin* h.
He in a huff about the snuff, and was
j ist as ni bt ad i'Miceriiiog the bread; he
said n<> Ight woman snou*d ave a candle,
but Biiu and g to bi and without one, and in
respect to the rum alone was willing to
yield the pint
He probably will say 1 left his bed and
board— L assure the public he had nothing
for a bed but aboard , and that is no better
than iyin, out when I was on the point of
lying iu. No longer ago than yesterday he
promised to buy me a soft straw b'd to lie
upon, hut / found his promises ail straw,
or rather found him all promise arid no
straw, and all about the lying on a soft
straw bed was a hard lie on his foul tongue;
since his ashes must make strong lye,
when he is condemned to be hung, and to
give the devil his due, the time must be
near at hand, I advise him to sell his car
us in anticipation to some soap boiler,
fi*- may say he will pay no debts of my
contracting —he is a false loon for this in
sinuation it lie doe?*; 1 have always enlar
ged and swelled every debt 1 owed, as
much as in my power; 1 was never known
t diminish or contract one in my life; and
with tins not one of my creditors will
charge me—to judge ot their late reiuc
. nee to charge me with other ai ticleg.
In conclusion like a dutiful wife /have
icit no stone unturned to please my husw
band but / nave, finally, borne with him
Ii is past endurance, and as there is a
nole even in the holy lock of wedlock, and
No. 1.