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THE GREENESBORO WEEKLY GAZETTE.
VOL.I-NO. 42.
THE WEEKLY GAZETTE.
PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY MORNING BY
WILLIAM M. JEFFERSON.
terms #1 50 a year in advance.
Rates of Advertising*
1 Square, (ten lines or less) first insertion $i 00
Each subsequent insertion 50
Professional or Business Cards, n °t cx ‘
ceeding six lines, per “ “X
Announcing candidates for ©me# ° |JU
Standing Advertisements.
1 square one month, 2 50
1 square three months, “ .
1 square, six months,
1 square; twelve months, “
‘2 squares, “ “ 20 00
3 squares, “ “ In 00
if Advertisements not marked with the
number of insertions, will be continued until
forbid, and charged accordingly.
jggf“ Double column advertisements inserted
and charged the regular rates per square.
§3PMercbants, Druggists, and others, may
contract for advertising by the year, on reason
able terms.
Legal Advertisements.
Sale of Land or Negroes, by Administra
tors, Executors, and Guardians per
square, .....--.-.--o 00
Sale of Personal Property, by Administra
tors, Executors, and Guardians, per
square, 3 OK
Notice to Debtors and Creditors, 8
Notice for Leave to Sell, ; „ 33
Citation for Letters of Administration,... .2 75
Citation for Letters of Dismission from
Administration, -—“ 00
Citation for Letters of Dismission from Guar
dianship, 3 2o
Legal Iteqiiiremcnts.
Sale of Laud and Negroes, by Administrators,
Executors, or Guardians, are required by law to
be held on the first Tuesday in the month, be
nve.cn the hours of ten in the forenoon and three
in the afternoon, at tbe court-house in the
countv in which the property is situated. No
tices of these sales must be given in a pub he
f orty days previous to the day of sale.
“’ i ’for the sale of Tcr'-onal Property
mustbW given at least ten P rev!ous t 0 the
•day of> le ‘ . „ „ ,
v JSco to Debtors and orealtors oi an Es.ate
be published forty days.
> Notice that application will be made to the
of Ordinary for leave to sell Land or Ne
must be published weekly for two months.
,/ Citation for Letters of Administration must
i'% published one month— for Dismission from
Administration, monthly, six monehs —for Dis
mission from Guardianship, forty days.
Rules for Foreclosure of Mortgage must bo
published monthly for four months— for com
pelling titles from Executors or Administrators,
where a bond has been given by the deceased,
the fall spare of three months.
Publications will always be continued
according to these, tbe legal requirements, un
less otherwise ordered.
business <£avi>s.
BEER MANX
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
GRE EXE SB OR O', GA.
SHANNON & SNELLINGS,
DEALERS IN
WX HtLY aaOCBfttKS,
Grccnesboro’, Georgia.
Keep constantly on hand a good asi ortmeut of
Family Groceries, which will be sold low
Cnr Cash. July 9th. ISS-tf.
W ILLIS’ HOTE L,
GRitl-NKSBORO’, GA,
rPOE undersigns! ! , j v.r-.h i.-sd
JL the above named jm-cie, •> Ijjiftg
pared at all times for the ~
RECEPTION OF VISITORS,
And will spare no pains in contributing to the
comfort of those who may favor him with a call.
IJis table will be supplied with the best the
market affords. A. L. WILLIS,
MrachO, 1858—ts. Proprietor.
JOHRT CIIAJETPLE,
ROCK CUUTER & BUILDER,
Grcencsbo-W, Ga.
And agent for J. IN* Gow’s Marble
WORKS.
W. M JEFFERSON.
PLAIN and FANCY,
Book ani> 3ob printer,
GREENESBORO’, GA.
WOULD respectfully announce to his
friends and the public, that he is now
prepared to do ail kinds of BOOK & JOB work
with neatness and dispatch, and at as reason
ble terms as it can be done elsewhere.
DR. K. F. POWERS,
Having 1 determined to permanently locate
here, respectfully offers his professional
services to the citizens of Greenesboro and vi
cinity.
His undivided attention will be given to the
various branches of his profession.
He can be fourld during the day, unless pro
fessionally engaged, at his office,the one formerly
occupied by Dr. Rea, on Main Street below tbe
Davis’ corner, near Mr. Griffin’s residence. —
He can be found at night at the Rev. Mr. Hous
ton’s, near the Rail Road Depot.
NEW GOODS!
NEW [GOODS!!
JUST RECEIVING FROM
NTEWBY OFLK.
SOLD CHEAP
B. F. GREENE.
Greenesboro’, Oct. Ist, 1858—3 m.
%w fnbcptnhnt Journal —gebotcb to fome filratare, Jgriraltnrt, foreign anb fomcstic Ictus, Mit, sjumor, tfr.
POULAIN JENNINGS & CO„
Grocers and Cotton Factors.
Opposite the Globe Hotel Augusta Ga.,
C|ONTJNUE,as heretofore, in connection with
‘their Grocery Business, to attend to the sale
of Cotton, and other Produce.
They will be prepared, in the BlllCEFilth
PROOF WAREHOUSE now in the progress
of erection in the rear of their store at th • in
tersecting f Jackson and Reynolds streets, to
receive on storage, all consignments made them.
Liberal cash advances *u; n m ‘.'reduce in
store, when required.
ANTOINE POULAIN,
THOMAS J. JENNINGS,
ISAIAH PURSE.
October 29 to
DARBY ’S
PROPII VL.3 C Ti€ FLUID,
Allows no Rival J n America A !
Removes every had Odo R!
B ursls into contagion like a horn B !
Y iclds to nothing in supretnac Y !
’S tands unrivalled in its merit’ S!
P oisons cannot elude it s gras P !
II emoves rancidity from butte R!
O ffers cures for sores, burns als O!
P urifies the breath an beauty’s li P !
II ighly benefits and preservs teet II!
Y ou ought to have it for your famil Y!
L ets no malaria escape its contro L !
Acts with certainty on all miasm A!
C uts short the necessity for physi C !
T akes pain from the bite of an insec T
Invites the notice o f Liberat I!
C oinesup to the idea of Prophylacti C !
Flings contagious diseaes entirely ofF !
L ets nothing have color so beautifu L!
U se it freely and you’ll find this FI U !
Id more wonderful than feats of Mag I!
DARBY’S FROPIIOLiATIC FLU ID!
More powerful than any other agent in preven
ing the spread of
CONTAGEOUS DISEASES.
MANUFACTURED only in the LABR VTORY
OF J. DARBY,
Auburn, Alabama.
Or Ilarral Risley & Kitchen, No. 96 Barclay St.
New York.
From which, it may be ordered. For sale by
Druggists generally, and by J Ilenry Wood,
Greenesboro, Dr. J. W. Price, Washington, Dr.
R. M. Smith, Athens, and Dr R W Huburt,
Warrenton, Ga.
Sept 3d, 2858—1 y.
J. S. IS .1 RJ\ WELL,
MANUFACTURER OF
Saddles, Harness, Trunks dec., dec.
TT A S permanently establish
JfACV* JjL ed himself in the Townrnßj&
LLAA-of Penfiield. He is in receipt
of a Fine Lot of Material,
and will constantly keep on hand a good
assortment of
Wagon, Coach and Ruggy Harness
of IIIS OWN and the NORTHERN
MAKE.
IEP 3 All JOBS put up in the most work
manlike manner of the best material
Hy Repairing done at the shortest no
tice. [Sop. 4,1858-ts.
B. L. TRAIL,
Harness Maker, ggyfYj
G reenesboro ’, Georgia WiVTI Til
IS prepared to Manufacture, at short notice,
and on reasonable terms,
Saddles, Harrness. Trunks,
Bridals, Whips, etc.
Also Carriage Trimming, Repairing, &c., done
at short notice All work put up by him, is of
the very best materials and “VFarranted.
Therefore, all those wanting work done in his
line, would do well to give him trial.
Greenesboro’, Ga. November 20tb,'1858 -ts.
MISS E. KELLE V.
A..s -V-ft jjC ICtii 352 jEFS.
HAVING • ■■ In the city for the
purpose of earn- n the Millinary bus—
ness, would respectfully solicit the patronage of
the citizens of Greenesboro’ and surrounding
country. She is prepared to execute ail orders
entrusted to her care in the most fashionable
style.
Bonnets, Gags, Fancy Head”
DRESSES &G.
Made to order,on reasonable terms and at short
notice.
Room next door to Dr. Walker's Office,
on Main, sirect below City Hotel.
Greenesboro, Oct. 30-to.
City Hotel.
Greenesboi’O Ga.
Mrs. M. T. STATITAM.
MIT would be superfluous in this an
nouncement to make a -‘long string
of promises” which are unfortunate
ly too often like a tale
“Told by an idiot full of sound and fury
Signifying nothing”
Hence Mrs. Statoam contents herself with sim
ply saying that she will keep as good a Hotel ar
the situation of Greenesboro and its facilitie I
will allow—feeling assured that tbore person
who have once visited her House will com
again.
The Boy Ned will be found at the Depo pre
pared to wait on passengers to the City Hotel.
April 17—ly.
PAIR NOTICE.
All those indebted to the late
firm of SMITH & HALL, take fair notice, that
if th eir notes and accounts ARE NOT settled
by the first of January next, they will be plac
ed in the hands of an officer for collection,
without reserve. SMITH & HALL.
Greenesboro, Ga., Nov. 20, 1858-6 w.
BLANKS!
Blanks of every description neat
ly printed at this office
GREENESBORO’, GA.., SATURDAY, DECEMBER 18, 1858.
POETRY.
The Candid Wooing.
BY CHARLES MACKY,
I cannot give thee all my heart
Lady, lady,—
My faith and country claim a part,
My sweet lady.
But yet I’ll pledge thee word of mme
That all the rest is truly thine ;
The raving passion of a hoy,
Warm though it be, will Tjuickly’cloy—
Confide thou, rather; in the man
Who vows to love thee all he can,
My sweet lady.
Affection, founded on respect,
Lady, lady,
Can never dwindle to neglect,
My sweet lady.
And while thy gentle virtues live.
Such is the love that I will give.
The torrent leaves its channel dry,
The brook runs on incessantly—
The storm of passion lasts a day,
But calm true love endures alway,
My sweet lady.
Accept then a divided heart,
Lady, lady,
Faith, honor, friendship, each have part,
My sweet lady.
While at one altar we adore,
Faith shall but make us love the more;
And friendship, true to all beside,
Will ne’er be fickle to a bride.
And honor, based on love and truth,
Shall last beyond the charm of youth,
My sweet lady.
From the Saturday Evening Pest.
St. Ambrose in the Donjon.
BV EMMA ALICE BROWN
Like a star my soul shall shine
With her triumphs over earth,
When her future fate divine
Blossoms into newer birth,
Far across the vale of tombs,
Far beyond all mortal strife,
Where God’s love perpetualblooms
On the endless hills of life.
Crowned with one eternal day
That shall never pass away.
What if earth, despise me now?—
What if no one judge aright ?
And I wear on burning brow
Bitter wreaths of wrong and spite?
There is rest and peace for u e
Where the world’s harm comethnot—
And my soul shall gloriously
Live when sorrow is forgot—
Dust and ashes to the sod—
Spirit safe at home with 4 God!
On,the world’s rough cross of scorn
My pale youth was crucified—
I am weary and forlorn,
of soul, and fiercely tried—
Out of wretchedness and pain,
Oh! thou Jesus, crowned and risen,
Lead me to the light again,
Throu’ the gravo’sjunyielding prison ;
Seal the stone, and at the fc door
Set thine Angel'evermore !
With this wasted wine of youth
Sprinkle thou tho barren sand
That the splendors of thy truth,
Which have touched me like a brand,
Blossom round the feet of those
Who must tread this path of pain,
When this bleeding heart of woes
Long in silent dust hath lain.
By thy splendors and my pains,
For my losses give them gainb !
They have cursed me —I forgive,
Feeling nobler for this strife.
I am dying—they shall live.
But the death comes well as life
E’en as thou tho scoff and bruise
In the ancient days forgave,
They who blindly me abuso
I’ilv thou—oli, God ! and save.
Give them roses for my thorns—
For mv nights unclouded morns!
Maryland.
MISCELLANEOUS.
The value of a good wife. —In the true
wife the husband finds not affection only,
but companionship with which no other one
compare. The family relations give retire
ment without solitude, and socity without
the rough intrusion of the world. It plants in
the husband’s dwelling a frioiul who can
bear his silence without weariness—who
can listen to the detail of his interests with
sympathy, who can appreciate his repeti
tion of events, only important as they are
embalmed inthe heart. Common friends
are linked to us by a slender thread. Wo
must retain them by ministering in some
way, to their interest, or their enjoyment.
What a luxury it is for a man to feel, that
in his own home, there is a truo and affec
tionate being, in whose presence he may
throw off all restraint without the fear of
treachery, and bo sick or unfortunate with
out being abandoned. If iu tho outward
world he grows weary of human selfishness,
his heart can safely trust in one whose soul
yearns for his happiness, and whose indul
gence overlooks his defects.
A Little Girl’s Example. —A little girl,
about nine years of age, the daughter of a
minister, was visiting a family where the
father did not pray, but was in the habit of
reading]a chapter ; the child, not knowing
that all was done, knelt down, as she was
in the habit of doing. Tho father saw the
child on her knees, and knelt himself, —
The rest of the family followed, and soon
that father prayed, for the first time, in his
family. That little girl was the instrument
of rst amily-p fayer. Child’s Paper-
Lot© and Catnip.
A Sketch of Actual Occurrence.
BV EDUAB SOMC.RS.
FT'iJHE dim light of the lamp illuminat
\ I a P a rtment for a while, but at
J f last went out, leaving the room hi
darkness, save when an occasional
flash of light from the
fire gleamed for a[moment ‘upon the obscu
rity.
In one corner, seated upon a sofa, were
the forms cf a gentle maiden and her adoring
lover. The youth was pleading his passion
with all the burning eloquence of impetu
ous love, and imploring his charmer to
name the happy day that was to unite them
forever. But what was his grief to find j
that she did not meet his wishes with corrcs
poudin ardor .
1 Susan.’ I k tlieu
. ceived myself in fondly believingjthat
your gentle heart reciprocated my passion?’
She fixed her liquid eyes upon him, but
her words were few and coldly uttered.
‘I rather think you have.’
What! you cannot mean that you do
not love me ! You will not tear from the
skv of the future the bright sun of hope,
and leave me to grope forever in darkness!
Oh,'Susan,? by the happy hour we have
passed together—by all the bright dreams
of happiness we have cherished by the
vows you have sworn to love me. I con
jure you revoke what you havo just uttered
and promise to be mine!
But all unmoved by his appeal, she curls
her ruby lip and scornfully answer*.
‘I shan,t do no such thing !’
‘Merciful heavens ! do I hear aright ?
must I then live on in loneliness’ with all
my hopes withered and dead like a solitary
sunflower stalk iu the chilling winter ? Nay,
by the whole universe I swear it shall not
be I Mark me, cruel one ; thou hast been
the bright polar star by which I guided my
whole existence. Thou wast the rock on
which I founded my hopo of happiness ;
and if thou wilt not consent to be mine, I
swear by the blazing sun, that when he
rises as usual to-morrow morning, before
breakfast, his rays shall shine on me a cold
corpse beneath the angry waves of the ra
ging Merrimace—or perchance my bloody
remains will be found upou its banks ; and
if these means of death fail me, I will swal
low jtoison ! dc you hear, and expire for
love of thee. Then you will have nought
to remind yon of him who loved you better
than a thanksgiving dinner, save the con
soling reflection that you are his murderess.
But his agony, his threats, affected her
not. She vtos as cold as the icicle that in
midwinter hangs from the nose of the town
pump. Cruelly—deliberately did she crush
his last hope, and with a mocking incredu
lonse smile she said—
‘ You dare’snt do it.’
He sprang to his feet; despair was pain
ted on his features ; desperation glared in
his eye. With his hands clasped in ago
ny he turned an imploring look toward the
mistress of his heart and exclaimed—
‘Once more I implore you to reflect ; re
call those cruel words or I go to fulfil my
thieatand with his hands upon the latch
he awaited her decision. It came like a
thunderbolt to the unhappy youth :
‘You may go—if you wish —to grass!’
With one bound he gained the street ; fu
riously he dashed along, and turning the
first corner ran aginst a gust of wind that
was rushing the other way. The breeze
knocked off his tile ; it had cost a V but
the week before, yet ho heedeij not its loss.
Like a whirlwind he swept along the side
walk,Jand espyingj a blue bottle in a drug
gidt’s window, he made tracks like a longi
tudinal stripe of crude and solified city
mlk, towards it. Opening the door with
aniimpetuosity that made the clerk spring
ovjsr the counter and seek safety behind a
gUss case, he fixod his eyes with tho feroc
ity of a bereaved maternal tigress upon the
firm and trembling attendant and borsely
growled—
‘Poison! give mo poison.’
‘Eh—ah—what ?’ gasped the horror
stricken clerk from his place of refuge.
‘Poison! do you hear?’ thundered the
youth furiously.
With a t shaking hand tho clerk filled a
phial and,overrun the liquid on his new
inexpressibles,] but not heeding this mishap
he placed the significant lable ‘poison,’ on
the bottle, and standing on tiptoe reached
it over the top of the show-case to his dan
gerous customer. Clutching it fiercely,
the doomed young man hurled a quarter at
the head of tho clerk, and then hurried to
his lodgings.
WTien he readied his own room the ex
citement had passed,but it was succcedod by
a cool deliberation and determination that
was as absolutely blood-cliilling as a cold
bath in December. Undressing, he pre
pared for bed, and then seizing the phial
of poison he drank its contents unfalter
ingly. Getting into bed he aroused his
chum, who had slept through the whole of
this terrible 6cene, and bade him arise and
call his parents ar.d also send for his false
lady-love to come and see him die. His
request was complied with, and soon his
weeping parents arrived to bless their dy
ing son. While they were lamenting over
liim\the door opened and Susan—the cruel,
but now repentant object of his love—en
tered the room. As she approached the
bedside of the dying youth, ho raised him
self up and said :
‘Susan, for thee I die! and sank back
helpless on his pillow.
Who shall paint tho anguish, the agony
of the lovely maiden ?
With shriks that rent the air into shred
and drove the ancient tabby from the room,
she rushed to her doomed lover and implor
ed his forgiveness. She called him by ev
ery endearing epithet, but alas, it was too
late—too late ! Fondly she embraced, him
—tenderly she parted the hair from his
brow and kissea his pale forehead. They
were reconciled while he was on the brink
of eternity. But the poison was at work
within; he felt it coursing its way through
every vain. He was conscious that he had
but a few short moments to live, when his
chum, who had entered to bid him farewell,
inquired what he had taken. Perhaps
there was an antidote.
‘Alas—no,’ murmured the uuliappy vic
tim ; ‘it is too late to think of remedies. I
am almost gone. The bottle of poison is
on the rnantlepiece; I do not know its
name,’ The chum seized the phial; he
looked at what remained of the fatal drug
—dubuously Le sighed, and extricating the
cork applied it to his olfactory proboscis —
Three long sniffs took he, and the phial fell
with a crash from his almost palsied hands,
while in tones of wonder he ejaculated—
‘Catnip—by thunder!’
What !’ exclaimed the expiring lover,
springing bolt upright iu bed.
‘Extract of catnip, sure as skunks; you
are not poisoned at all.
With ono bound the dying man gained
the middle of the room. His lady love fled
iu dismay at beholding him iu his scanty
attire, and he, picked up the phial, soon
satisfied himself that it was indeed catnip
that he had swallowed.
Great was his rage at the discovery ;
with horrid imprecations on the luckless
wight who had deceived him, he got into
his clothing and arming himself with a big
stick, he sallied forth to wre ik vengeance
on his devoted head. But to his deep dis
appointment the drug store was closed and
the attendant gone. Taking the edge off
his wrath by shaking out of his boots a boy
whom he encountered on his homeward
way, he swore a deep and terrible oath of
vengeance on the druggist’s clerk, to be in
fleted the first time he encountered him at
large and in the open air after sun-down.
Horrible to hear were the words he breath
ed, and the oath was registered somewhere.
And now each night may be seen a slen
der strippling, wending his way homeward :
at a rapid pace. Hejlias a big bowie knife,
and a revolver in each hand, yet he starts
at every footstep and trembles at every
shadow ! Ever and ,anon, he casts long
looks of terror behind, for be fears the
avenger. It is the doomed druggist’s clerk,
and since the threat of the poisoned man
has been told him, he has grown so thin
that his employer intends to use him as an
illustration to a course of lectures on anat
omy.
Moral. —When a rejected young man
bent on suicide, seeks to purchase poison,
let him have it; it is decidedly the best
thing he could take, and by complying with
the request the apothecary may escape a
future drubbing.
Secondly, young men—when you ‘get
the mitten,’ don’t commit suicide in a hurry,
if you do you may live to repent it.
Poor Peter Gray.
Here is a song to be sung, as Capt. Cut
tle would say. The tender sex are advised
to take warning from the sad fato of the
fair, unfortunate Lizinanny:
My song is of a nice young man,
Whose name was Peter Gray ;
Tbe State where Peter, he was born
Was Pemisylvani-a.
This l’eter Gray did fall in love
All with a nice youg girl ;
The name of her, I’m positive,
Was Lizianny Querl.
When they were going to be wed,
Her father he said “No!”
And brutally did send her off
Beyond the Ohio.
When Peter found his love was lost
He knew not what to say ;
He’d half a mind to jump into
Tho Susquelianni-a
A trading he went to the west,
For furs and other skins,
And there he was in crimson dressed
By the bloody In-ji-ins.
When Lizianny heard the news,
She straightway went to bed,
And never did get off of it
Until she di-i-ed.
Ye fathers all a warning take—
Each one as has a girl—
And think upon poor Peter Gray
And Lizianny Querl.
Some Nose.— Deacon C , of Hartford.
Con., is well known as being provided
with an enormons handle to his countenance,
in the shape of a huge nose ; in fact it was
remarkable for its great length. Lately
when taking up a collection in the church
to which he belonged, as he passe 1 through
tho congregation every person to whom he
presented the box seemed to be possessed
by a sudden and uncontrollable desire to
laugh. Tho deacon did not know what to
make of it. He had often passed it round
before, but no such effect had he witnessed.
The deacon was fairly puzzled. The secret,
however, leaked out. He had beenafilictcd
a day or two with a sore on his nasal append
age, and had placed a small piece of sticking
plasterover it. During the morning of day
in question, the plaster had dropped off;
the deacon seeing it as he supposed, on the
floor, picked it up and stuck it on again-
But, alas for men who sometimes make
great mistakes, he picked up instead a piece
of paper which the manufacturers of spool
cotton paste on the end of every spool, and
which reads “warranted to hold out 200
yards.” Sueli a sign ou sueh a nose was
enough to upset the gravity of any congre
gation.
Envy, —Whoever feels pain in hearing a
good character of his neighbor, will feel a
pleasure in tho revere. And thoso who
despair to rise in distinction by their virtues
arc happy if others can be depressed to a
level with themselves. — Franklin.
TERMS- -61.50
VARIETIES.
Why is lovo like a canal boat ? becaus it
is an internal transport.
Old maids are fond of pairs—but cannot
endure .any reference to dates.
To Keep Fruit from Wasps—The surest
way of keeping it is to preserve it.
riie oysters have presented a_ petition
against Sunday opening.
Women are like tricks b}* slight of hand,
—which, to admire, we should not under
stand
We don’t object to port wine drawn from
the wood, if the wood is not log wood.
“I’ll take your partas the dog said to
the cat, when he took herportion of the din
rer.
The quickest way of destroying^* 1 weeds”
is to marry a widow,
A bright thought—“ You may put
cart before the horse, but you can’t ma
him eat it.”
Heaven sends good figures. It is only
woman’s enemy would tempt her to wear
crinoline.
A clergyman lives on the
he prefers calm Sundays, because he is op
posed to Sabbath breakers.
An Irish student being asked what wa
meant by bosthumous works, replied,“They
are such works as a man writes after he is
dead, ”
If an elephant can travel eight miles an
hour and carry his trunk, how fast can he
go if he had a littlepage to carry it for him?”
A man with a scolding wife moved into
a swamp, where the damp ague was preva
lent. His wife was effectually cured.
‘“Husband, I have the asthma so bad
that I can’t breathe.” “Well, my dear, I
woulden’t try ; nobody wants you to,”
A great many persons undertake to build
their fortunes as pat tried to build his chim
ney. They begin at the top, and build
down.
‘,Pray, sir, what makes you walk so crook
edly !” “Oh, my nose, you see, is crooked,
and I have to follow it. ”
A Toast for Young America—“ Here’s to
the flag of stars and stripes ; aud may it
dash its stars if it dosen’t soon outstride the
entire world!”
A man who was imprisoned far bigamy
complained that he had been severely dealt
with for an offence wbich carries its owe
punishment.
“It is a curious fact,” says somo entom
ologist, “that it is only the femalemusquito
that torments us. A bachelor says itisnot
at all “ curious.”
A large portion of the swamps cf I iorida
is said to be capable cf produce’ ; five hun
dred bushels of frogs to the acre,” with alli
gators enough for fencing.
An inquiring genius has ‘disk: wed’ the
insignia of the Know-Nothing, le says
it consists of the American I.’ holding
in his bill a ‘furriaci’ by the . .at o: Ins
breaches.
‘Don’t get above your las ..cr . as the
lady said to the shoemaker, r -as busily
engaged measuring her ankle, t „• ascertain
the size of her foot.
Mr. Hardy, accused*cf keeping a gamb
| ling-h ouse at San Francisco, indignantly
rebutted the accusation by asserting that he
was in goal for robbery at the time.
“Mynheer, do you know what for we call
our boy Hans “I do not know, really.
“Well, I will tell you. Der reastnwe call
our boy Hans, it is isk name.
Milton, when blind, married a shrew.—
The Duko of Buckingham called her a
rose. “I am no juge of colors,” replied
Milton, “but I daresay you are right, for I
feel the thorns daily.”
A medical man offered to a publisher a
“Treatise on hand,” which the latter de
clined, with a shake of the head, saying,
My dear sir, we have too many treatises
on our hands already.”
“It is very difficult to live, ” said a wid
ow, with seven girls, all in gentle poverty.
“I ou must husband your time,’, said an
aged friend. “I’d rather husband my daugh
ters,” said the poor lady.
A sanctified thief, lieaiing of the proposed
bill for the greatly required improvement
of the law in criminal eases, made a grim
ace, and said. “It will increase our trials •”
The following prescription was recently
handed to a village apothecary :—‘Pinch
Rut and Sini!’ It was put up, snd put up
right. It meant, ‘Piuk Root aud senna.’
•Y'ou are very handsome,’ said a gentle
man to a lady. ‘All!’ said the lady, ‘so
you would say if you did not tlunk .o.' —
‘And so you would think,’ answered he,
‘though ] should not say so.’
A chaplain was once preaching to a class
of collegians about the formation of habits.
‘Gentlemen,’ said lie, ‘close ycur ears a
gainst bad discourse.’ Thr nui.- c
diately clapped their ha..Us to their ears.
A capital way to prevent the smell of
cooking in a house, is to have nothing for
breakfast, and warm it over for dinner and
supper.
There are three things a man never gets
tired of looking at—the sky, the sea, and
woman’s faces. And wi.j ? P • uve they
are never, for two daystogetu..., ..ike
Two persons of satiric turn met a neigh
bor, and said, ‘Friend, wo have been dis
puting whether you are most knave or fool.’
The man took each of the querists by the
arm, so that he was in the middle. ‘Truth,’
said he, ‘I believe I am between both.’