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WANTS HAMB, NOT ARTIS TS. -—fa:— ’ A Mario SMI Manager-' CoaaptataS* * A*- ton Who Are Abore Their Baain ■> “Idon’t WKht any more artists, ' said the music hall manager who gat > the burlesque. “The people I wanj are hams and nothing bat oanm. Whenever I get an application from an actor who calls himself an artist, I'm going to tear up the'letter for fear I might lose my presence of mind and engage him. If the play's a success, the artist did it If it’s a. failure, it was the author. Sometimes I wonder, when I hear the&a artists talk, what is the use of their ever haring plays written for them at all. They're independent of the dramatists, and I should think they would just step on the stage and talk their plays. But they don’t.do that They merely con tent themselves with refusing, to speak this or that line because it’s'rotten,* substituting something of their own, and then saying it’s' the fault of the au thor that nobody laughs at thoir stupid gags. I happened ,hb have a bunch of ’em here, and that lasted me for the rest of my life. Hereafter I’m out of it” . “What »re artiste?” ashed the inno • cent. “They’re chiefly actors who’re con demned 1 to come and act in the music hallo foe three. times as much, asthey ever got in their lives before. What they do is to call everything rotten, de cidethat they know more about the play than the man who wrote it and walk around as though it were beneath them to dio anything moro like acting than that when it came to the question of actingin a musichall.”- “ are they—the sori of hams you mean?” - * 'They’re chiefly variety actors accus tomed to hard work, rough maybe, with a qualftyotget there that makes the. audience interested. They’ve, come up, andthe artists thiuk they.’ve gone down. The difference is between trying to do something well, because E 'it’s the best opportunity you’ve had, and taking no interest at all in it because you’ve been in the habit of Soing.what you think is better.” “But isn’t it better, as Sam Bernard says, to be a has been than a never was it?" “Maybe it is, but it’s rough on the manager who pays his money out for them. I had one of them here, and he was going to be so original that he would not use the lines the author wrote, but promised to tickle the audi ence to death by some entirely original grinds of his own. When the test came, he went on the stage and did the same things he had done 11 years before. He was never able to do anything else dur ing the rest of the time. I had some others like him, and that is why I say now that I only want hams, not artists —hams that work hard and know how to make an audience enjoy itself, not artists too fine for anything.”—New York Sun. F«,h Fifi Fnr Northern Market*. Fresh figs are not known or appreci ated in northern markets, and conse quently the demand is too limited to encourage shipments. It seems doubt ful if the distant shipment of fresh figs will ever become a profitable business. The fruit is more perishable than any other that is generally marketed. It can be handled only by the most careful and experienced persons, and even then it is not in a condition to show its best quality. Bipening in midsummer, when the northern markets are crowded with many well known fruits and not being especially attractive to the eye, fresh figs would at best gain favor slowly. The fact that many people do not care for them at the first would be another obstacle in the way of their popularity. Moreover, the fig is a tedious crop to handle when in proper condition for the. market It is necessary to pick the treel over carefully every day during the sea son or much fruit will be overripe. With large trees this involves much la bor. The acrid juice of the immature fig cats into the fingers of the pickers and packers, while rainy weather oc casions heavy loss by the cracking of the fruit, which renders it unfit for market —Southern States. Home Duties of Indian Children. There are home duties as well as pleasures for the children. Boys are re quired to look after the ponies, to lend a hand in planting, to help in the har vest, and they are often made to do ac tive dirty as scarecrows in the newly planted field, where, like little Bopeep, they fall fast asleep. The girls help to gather wood, bring water and look after the younger ones. As they grow older they are taught to cut, sew and make gannffitts. In former days, theold Onm has say, no girl was considered mar- Mdgeable until she had learned to tan skins, make tents and clothing, prepare meat lor drying and could cultivate corn and beans, while a young man who had not learned to make his own wea pons and to be a skillful hunter was not considered fitted to take upon himself the reaponMUUties es the provider of a family.—“ Home Life Among the In dians, ” by Alice C. Fletcher, in Cen tury. A Feoriltar Dutch Custom. A peculiarity among Dutch farmers who live at a distance from a town is to have a coffin in readiness for their burial. It is by no means uncommon to see a still sturdy old patriarch going to an outhouse and gravely contemplating that which is to hold his body when be shuffles off this mortal coil. This char * acteristic has also appeared in President Kruger, who has recently imported a coffin, and at a cost, too, of £IOO. Precautionary Measure. Patient—-Isn’t it a little dangerous to administer anaesthetics? Must be terri ble to have one die in your chair after you have given him ether. Dentist—Yes. It was for that reason that we adopted a rule that where an anaesthetic is administered the patient must pay in advance.—Boston Tran script. S ICELAND PONIEB. They Ara Docile and Marvels st BtroagMi and Endurance. " If the camel is the ehip of the desert, the Iceland pony is the cab, train, omnibus and tram car of the wonderful country to which he belongs. To begin with, be is a misnomer. He is pot a the ordi nary sense of the word. He M • boras in bone and sinew, in strength and endur ance, in mannersand deportinent—a bene in everything, in fact, except inches, and a sober, steady, hardworking horse too. He Is a Very ‘‘multuin in parvo,” a “con centrated essence” of horseflesh. He can swim like a fish, climb like a goat and jump like a deer. He sticks, at nothing and takes every variety of travel—bog, lavabed, sand, bowlders and grasa mounds —With undisturbed equanimity. If ho has to ford oue or two rivers, with strong currents flowing girth deep, it is all in the day’s work. Only give him time and periodical halts for refreshment and he will do bis 60 miles per day ,and thrive up on it. Iceland ponies pre bred in hundreds in the large grass plains in the southern dis tricts of the island. Little or no care is taken in selection, so the breed remains unaltered and unimproved, the average pony standing, 4rpm 11&. .to 12 bands, though here and there one will reach to nearly 13 hands. Every variety of color is seen, but skewbalds of many shades are the commonest. The chestnuts, as a rule, are the finest and thabro wns the hardiest. Beautifulcreameolors, with light.points, arc not Infrequent. Black la. very rure. and roan also, Their paces are fast, con sidering the size of tho anjmal, a journey of 82 milto being often done |h Six hours or less, with heavy, baggage. They Wot, canter and gallop, but the pace most es teemed by the natives is the amble or “skeld,” in which the fore and hind legs on a side *m advanced simultaneously, giving a running action, very smooth to the rider. A good pacer is considered very valuable and often sold for a high price. Some of, these ponies amble so fast that they keep ahead of another going at a band gallop, and th ®y maintain the pace for p day ’s journey ..under, a weight of 11 to 14. stone. Iceland ponies are steady and fast in harness, though wheels are a compayi-’ tively new departure in their country,. They travel mostly in strings, often tied head and tail. Hay, baggage and house hold goods are thus transported, and building materials also. You meet a“tim bur lector, ” or timber team, of from eight to ten ponies, one carryingplanks trailing on each side, another strips of iron, an other bundles of tools; a certain number of spare animals running loose, and not infrequently a foal or two. It is as rare to see a dead Iceland pony as a dead donkey, though their skulls are often visible, half trodden into the miry ways surrounding the farms. The pony begins work at 6 or 7 years—hard Work, that Is to say. He is early apprenticed to his trade by following his mother at her avocations and when he is footsore is strapped upon her back. He work* well up to 20 years and over and often remains fairly sound to a ripe old age. He feeds on the fat of the land in summer, and in winter, if his owner is poor, must live on bis wits and iris stored condition. Farm ers who are fairly well off keep their ani mals in during winter and feed them on hay, but notwithstanding many of the ponies have a hard time of it. The Ice landers, however, keep their steeds as well as their means allow and treat them alto gether in a brotherly fashion, and the S. P. C. A. would seldom find scope for its activity, except, possibly, in the improve ment of bitting and gearing. Taking it all around, the Iceland pony is certainly not less happy—very often far happier— than his bigger brothers in the south, and his endurance, placidity and docility make him a favorite in other lands besides his own, while fitting him for his home du ties in a manner which could not be sur passed and must be tested to be fully un derstood.—London Globe. How He Got a Divorce. Here is a Judge Gary story: It was a bigamy case, and the accused man, after living two years with the second woman, had agreed to plead guilty. But this was only after he had secured solemn assur ance from the state attorney that his consequent sentence would absolutely di vorce.hhn from wife No. 2. He wished it understood that he was willing to suffer a term In the penitentiary if on release that superfluous woman, whom he had taken as a result of great misapprehension, would have do possible claim upon him. So he went into court. “You fully understand what the plea of guilty means, do you?” asked Judge Gary, regarding the devoted man with great kindness. “Yes, your honor “It will be my duty tn that case to sen tence you to the penitentiary. You un derstand that?” “Yes, your honor. Anything to get free.” Judge Gary seemed to be writing a mo ment, and then he said grimly .and with out looking up: “I suppose there are some things beside which prison would boa re lief. Any relative or friend of the defend ant in court?” A solitary woman stood up In the benches and said in a rasping, nerve shat tering voice: “I’m his second wife, judge.” The man of law looked at her without lifting his head or suspending his pretend ed writing. Then he said in his usual searching tone: “Some things beside which prison would be a relief. You ought to be willing to take three years.” The prisoner nodded cheerfully. “Then I will give you one year. You seem to have had the other two before they arrested you. ” Chicago Post. > /A, The Campaign “Orator.” One of the saddest things about a cam paign is the fact that a great many men who haven't sense enough to pound sand go about making wild and Incoherent speeches for Tom, Dick and Harry. Gen erally they are gentlemen who are out of work and who couldn’t earn 60 cents a month at honest toil, yet they have no hes itation whatever in telling the people how to run the municipal machine without losing money on it. Their speeches are poor, halting, stammering efforts that make reasonable men sigh and moan, but the gifted gentlemen are totally uncon scious of this, for they continue to whoop it up for their ehosen candidate, just as though they were making the hit of their lives. Before the campaign is at an end they accumulate such a gall that they come to Imagine themselves gifted osatotv upon whom the mantie of Henry Clay has settled for keeps, and whenever they go out to take a walk they think that every body along the street is pointing the finger of admiration at them. The fact is the av erage man has no business trying so) make a speech. Such seldom fail to make sick ening sixjctacles of themselves whenever they attempt it.—New York Telegram. CUSTARD PIE ASSf CIATION. Ito Annual Meeting, Held I let Day, Is a Itoyol Fcm*. Unique among the organ]z ttona of New England is the Hartford ( de.) Custard Pie association. Its very n ma is mang ier I! re as |o excite curiosity onoerning its fongln, its history and what is done at its I annual meetings. The association started (in -ather a commonplace manner. One ! told winter morning In 18-w William B, Cushman and Charles Irish, neighboring farmers of the towfi, ritet after somo pre liminary bantering, during whtah aach claimed to be able to eat the most oustard pie, and appointed the following fata day for a oustard pie eating contest, their wives to be nooks and judges. At the stated time they met with their wives and two huge custard pies at Mr. Irish’s saphouse, in his maple orchard, and Mr. Cushman, who had spent the forenoon in walking over tho great hills as a fort of training for the oocaaipn, proved the better pie eater. The next fast day several other farmays of tho neighborhood, with their families, joined them, and the meeting was changed from a pie eating contest to a social gathering. After this they met each fast day, and the story of their good times spread until almost all the farmers, wife their families, for miles in every direction joined the association. The last meetfog of this prosperous as sociation was held at the residence of Wil liam B. Cushman., About 60 persona at tended, each bringing a huge custard pie baked in a two gallon milk can. During' tho forenoon, while the women were pre paring the dinner, the men passed the time rolling ninepins, pitching horseshoes, playing cards and tn other rural amuse ments. When dinner was announced, a scene wag presented such ay never was seen else where In New England and probably never In the world. The long tables extending along the spacious rooms were loaded with the great two gallon eustard pies, made, of freshly laid eggs, rich new milk and cream, sweetened with such fresh maple sugar as city lips seldom taste, baked as only country housewives can bake when they make the effort of their 11 ves, slightly .browned bn top and sprinkled with fra jpfont nutmeg. When this unrivaled deli cacy was washed down with simmered maple sap or country cider, sparkling with the sunshine the apples had stored the previous summer, it seemed the nearest approach to the fabled nectar of the gods that human skill had ever attained. Toasts were proposed and happy responses made. After dinner the men again rolled nine pins, pitched horseshoes and engaged in other pastimes while the women cleared the tables and prepared the rooms. Then fiddlers appeared, and the party passed tho evening in the merry whirl of country danoes.— Boston Herald. The Seed Record Broken. Over 20,000,000 packages of vegetable, flower and field seeds have been distributed by the department of agriculture during the past spring. This distribution has • given to each member of congress 40,000 packages of seeds at a total cost of >1 >O,OOO. Over 1,000,000 of these packages were flower seeds and nearly 800,000 field seeds, the balance being a great variety of vege tables. In the entire distribution nearly every variety of vegetable known to the agriculturists was distributed. There were >2 varieties of beans, 10 varieties of beets, 23 varieties of cabbage, 11 varieties of carrots, 10 Varieties of sweet corn, 18 kinds of cucumbers, 80 kinds of lettuce, 19 varieties of muskmelons, 17 kinds of watermelons and 16 varieties of onions. The entire amount of surds distributed was sufficient to plant an area of 866 square miles, or about six times the else of the District of Columbia. This is the largest distribution of seeds over attempted by the department of agri culture, and it is said that seedsmen all over the country are complaining that they do not make sales to farmers and others because they are getting all the seeds they want free from the department of agriculture, The distrlbuttofa of seeds in 1898 amount ed to 8,800 packages for each • member of congress, at a total cost of 186,648*; in 1894 each congressman got 16,000 pack ages, the entire cost to the government be ing >67,000; In 1896 the number of pack ages of seeds distributed was the same as in the previous year, but the total cost was reduced to >47,000. In 1896 congress men got 16,000 packages each, and the government paid >80,600 for the whole lot. During the past spring each member of congress has received 40,000 packages of seeds, for which the government has paid >lßo,ooo.—Washington Star. Manner of an Introduction. It is mortifying to note how many per sons pay little or no heed to what may be styled the etiquette of introductions. To the lover of good form then is something that sets one’s teeth on edge on hearing an introduction so worded that a woman is presented to a man or an elderly woman to a young one. The rules with regard to Introductions are so simple and sensible that it would seem that the wayfaring man or woman, though a fool, could scarcely err therein. A man is always in troduced to a woman, and it may be well in passing to add that a lady’s permission should usuaßy.be hiked before such a pre sentation is made. It is a simple matter to say, “Miss Smith, may I present to you, Mr. Jones?” before uttering the for mal, “Miss Smith, allow me to introduce Mr. Jones.” , The man is, of course, always brought to the Woman whom he is to meet. The woman should never be led to the man. These rules mightseem superfluous were it not that one so often observes their in fraction among people who should know better. At a tea a matron who years be fore had arrived at the dignity of a grand mother was piloted by her hostess to a young girl of 20, and they were made known to each other in the well meant words: “Mrs. Knight, I want to present you to my dear little friend, Mabel Day Mabel, dear, this is Mrs. Knight, of whom you have so often heard me speak.” If the ladies were amused by the speech, they were so well versed in that knowledge of good form in which their hostess was lacking that they showed no consciousness of her error.—Harper’s Bazar. Indiana Employed aa Train “•pnitera." An educated Pueblo Indian boy and a squaw, attired in full Indian regalia, have been traveling over the Atchison, Topeka and Santa Fe road between KI Paso and Trinidad for the past month, paying rail road faros in cash to the oonduetaraand acting as “spotters.” As a result eight or ten passenger conductors bars been de tected in “knockingdown”and have been discharged. It is said this is tbs first time in history that innocent looking Indians have been employed in the secret service of any railroad company.—Beata Fe Let ter in St. Louis Gio be-Demomat. A HARVEST OF HUMAN HAIR. Mnitewaf FaimdsSrorr TaarCMTUogted D » In Commerce. Perlis pc there Is no staple article •bout which less is known by ths aver age person than human hair as an ar ticle of commerce. It will doubtless surprise many when it is stated that the dealers in human hair goods do nos depend on chance clippings here and there, but that there is a regular hair harvest that can always be relied upon. It is estimated that over 18,000,000 pounds of human hair are used annu ally in the civilised world for adorning the heads of women. In New York city •lone over four tons of thia clam of goods are imported yearly. “Not a little of the hair used in this country, ” said a New York dealer to the writer, “comes from the heads of American women, and it is fully as fine in shade and texture as tho imparted ar ticle. We had a big harvest during the erase that the fair sex had not long ago for having their hair cut short. Many thousands of women who then had their locks sheared have since bitterly regret ted it, as in many instances their hair has grown so slowly that they have been compelled to wear a wig or a switch since the fashion changed. After She majority of women reach the age of :*0 the hair seems to partially lose its SWT, and if cut it will not grow long “Two-thirds of the ladies nowadays OSS false hair more or less. The decree of fashion, or the desire to conceal a de tect or heighten a charm, is the reason of course. One woman, for instance, has • high forehead and wishes to re duce it in appearance. Another. has worn off the front hair by continued frizsing and would like to conceal the fact Both make use of a front or top piece, with a choice of many styles. “Ladies’ wigs cost from >2O to |«G0; half wigs, top pieces and switches from >lO to >OO, according to quality. “The largest supply of hair comes from Switzerland, Germany and ths French provinces. There is a human hair market in Merlans, in. the depart ment of the lower Pyrenees, held every Friday. Hundreds Os hair traders walk up and down the one street of the vil lage, their shears dangling from their belts, and inspect the braids which the peasant girls, standing on the steps of the houses, let down for inspection. If a bargain is struck, the hair is cut and the money paid on the spot, the price varying from 60 cents to >6 in our money. "A woman’s hair may grow to the length of 0 feet, and I know a lady who has been offered and refused >SOO for her crown of glory, which is over 6 feet long. A single female hair will bear up a weight of four ounces with out breaking, but the hair thus heavily weighted must be dark brown, for blond hair breaks under a strain of >X ounces. There axe some 2,000 importers, manu facturers and deltas in hmnan hair in the United States.— Washington Star. Valorous Cow*. The editor of the Condon (Or.) Globe sawa deed of cow valor that was worth recording as well m seeing. A herd of cattle, and among them two cows, ac companied by their calves, were graz ing in tall dead grass when the calves became separated a little from the rest of the herd. • Just then two huge, hungry coyotes, crept up through the grass, cut off the calves from the rest of the cattle and started in pursuit of them. After run ning about 200 yards the calves came to a high, five wire, barbed wire fence, and, being small, managed to get through it On the other ride of the fence was an open pasture. The wolves quickly followed the calves through the fence and were rap idly running them down on the other side, when the two cow mothers discov ered what was going on. Each uttered • loud bellow, hoisted her tail and started for the rescue. It appeared to be a hopeless chase, for |be wire fence intervened, and the cows were certainly much too large to get through it They knew well enough that it:was there, and could, besides, see ft plainly, but both eows plunged together straight into ft The watching editor, horrified, look ed to see them hurled back, frightfully wounded, but instead one of the posts gave way under the onslaught, the wires sank down, and in another mo ment the mothers were on the posture side of the fence, badly cut and bleed ing, but still able to charge the wolves successfully and put them to flight Soon the cows were licking the res cued calves affectionately, and ths coy otes were howling a disappointed duet from the summit of a knoll near by. Cat ItaakaU. Cat baskets are made especially fer the convenient carrying of cate in trav eling, and they are also used to some extent for small dogs. Those of Ameri can manufacture are made of whois willow and are oblong in shape. Cel baskets imported from Germany are rather more costly, and are made of split willow. The German cat basket is oval in form, made larger al the top than at the bottom, and with the top finished rounding. There is in the side of the basket a grated door of willow rods, which opens on hinges and gives the oat light and aft In each end of the basket, higher up than the door, there is a small square window. Cat baskets are made in various sizes, and in the course of a year there are sold a considerable number of them.— New York Bun.. ’ »■' . 11- ■' i ■ Perhap* 8b« Came Dowa Toe. She—So you are engaged to Mias Spry? He—Yes, but it’s a big come down for me. She—Why, I thought she was such a sweet girl He—She is, but she rooms on the first floor and I’m on the eighth.—Now York Journal 4 \ .. AN OPEN LETTER To MOTHERS. WE ARE ASSERTING IN THE COURTS OUR RIGHT TO THE . ..IS EXCLUSIVE USE OF THE WORD “CASTOBIA AND “PITCHER’S CASTORIA,” as our trade mark. Z t DR. SAMUEL PITCHER, 0/ Hyannis, Massachusetts, 908 the originator gs “PITCHER'S CASTORIA Z the same that has borne and does now on bear the facsimile signature of wrapper. This is the original “ PITCHER'S CASTORIA,” which has been used in the homes qf the Mothers Ojf for ewer thirty gears. LOOK CAREFULLY at the wrapper and see thpt it is the hind you Imve always bought and has the signature of wrap- per. No one has authority from me to use my name ex cept The Centaur Company qf which Chas. H. Fletcher is President- j Do Not Be Deceived. Do not endanger the life of your child by accepting .a cheap substitute which some druggist may offer >o’,> y (because he makes a few more pennies oh ft), the ih- i gradients of which even he docs not know. “The Kind You Have Always Bought” BEARS THE FAC-SIMILE SIGNATURE Or Insist on Having The Kind That Never Failed You. TMK OCMTAUH TT MVMMAY NSW «|TV. —GET YOTTH JOB PRINTING DONE The Morning Call Office. • , • -'-4: y -■ = - r ' ’ • t;,</ •' We have just supplied our Job Office with a complete line 01 Btetionm kinds and can get up, on short notice, anything wanted in the way 01 LETTER HEADS, BILL HEADS ‘ * • t STATEMENTS, IRCULARS, ENVELOPES, NOTES, MORTGAGES, PROGRAMS,/ CARDS, DODGERS, Ere. E7L / We ffTry toe 'xat ffie of FNVEI/IFES vm : tbistrada. Aa aUracdvt POSTER <A My size can be issued on short notice. Our prices for work of all kinds will compare favorably with those obtained tub any office in the state. When you want fob printing dficrifikn frte vt call Satisfaction guaranteed. ALL WORK DONE With Neatness and Dispatch. Out of town orders will receive prompt attention. J. P. & S B. SawteU. CtNTBIL 01GEORGIA RAILWAY CO. -5> ♦ Schedule in Effect Jan. 9, 1898.’ MB IBS MS MS S3S SUsui taopm 912 am Lv Griffin Ar Sl3pn SsSan •ijam 9188 m ««pm Sttam Ar Barnlie Lv s42pro 9ao> *4.a» n4Bpmtl2Mpm Av— - Thomaston. Ev IXoopro W«am SHE isE If 585 ttE I MS lSun T for X SSraaa and* Carrollton leaves Griffin at »>s am. and 150 pm daily axcept Sunday. Beturntna. arrtves tn Griffin 620 p m and 12 46 p m dally except Bunday. For further InfonMtion apply te fi r fHBO. D. KLINE. Ge7lßuptaßavanaah.aa> MM ! J. O. HAILS. Gen. Paawraer AsenS, Bar»nn*M.oa, ’ _ K. I. HINTON. Traffic Manacer. Savannab Ge.