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HE NEVER LOVED A LdRO. But Bia Fira CHria Married TIM*, AU the Same. It was evident that he was not only pretty wall satisfied with himself, but that he didn’t care who knew it “Five daughters, ’’ he said, and ev one of them married to & title. That’s a pretty good record for a man Who wouldn’t be considered rich enough to buy more than one high grade title.” “I don’t see how you did it,” sug gested the man who knew nothing ex oept that the husband with a title was w ordinarily quoted at a pretty stiff figure. “Oh, it’s easy when you know how, ’’ replied the self satisfied man. “So far as I am concerned I would have prefer red to marry the girls to enterprising young Americans with no titles, but their mother insisted upon getting them something more fashionable, and when their mother insists I have to hump myself and see that things come the way she wants them., I confess it was something of a problem at first, but when I got it figured out in my mind and began playing the cards it was so easy that I was, inclined to be ashamed of myself for not trying something harder. ” The self satisfied man stopped long enough for the listener to suggest that he would be glad to hear the story, and then, in view of the fact that they were all married and publicity could do no harm, he told it. “I took all my available assets, ” he explained, “and made them a dowry for my eldest daughter. Naturally there was a rush for her, and she was able to take her pick of five. I rushed matters as much as possible, got her married, gave up the dowry I had promised, and then steered her titled husband against' the Stock Exchange, where I gave him some bad tips, took his trades myself through a broker and won back all the dowry and part of his ancestral estates. Then 1 gave the dowry to my second daughter, got her married and played - the same game with her husband. 1 worked the scheme right through the family, until I finally married my youngest to a baronet yesterday. I got them to postpone their wedding trip for a few days, so as to give mi a chance to win back the dowry before they had spent apy of it, and by day after tomor row I expect to be on Easy street again, without a care In the world. If girls must have titles, why, I am in favor of giving them to them, but I don’t believe in contributing large fortunes to the support of-» the tottering monarchies of the old world, and, what’s more, I don’t intend to do it ” —Chicago Post. ARMORED PLANTS. Thorns and Spies That Protect Plant* From Their Enemies. “Plants and Their Enemies” is the title of an article by Thomas EL Kear ney, Jr., in St Nicholas. Mr. Kearney ? says: There are a thousand things that threaten the well being and even the life of every tree and shrub and lowly herb. Too much heat or too little works great harm to planta Then there are all manner of wasting diseases caused by other tiny plants called fungi and bacteria Many large animals, as horses and cows and sheep, live by grazing the herbage and grass or browsing the foli age of trees and shrubs. Os course they greatly injure the plants they feed upon and therefore many plants are in one way or another protected against such attacks. Did you ever stop to think why this tles are so well armed with sharp prick les or why the ugly roadside nettles are furnished with stinging hairs? Notice eattle grazing in a field where thistles or nettles grow.. See how careful they are to let those disagreeable plants alone. That is the reason for the stings and the spines. See this honey locust tree bristling with its horrid array of three pointed thorns. What animal is brave enough to try to rob it of its leaves or great pods? Jlawthoms, too, and rosebushes and blackberry briers all have their sharp little swords and daggers to defend themselves against browsing animals. Out on the wide, hot deserts of Ari zona and New Mexico those odd plants, the cactuses, grow in great numbers. Some of them take strange shapes—tall, fluted columns, branching candelabra or mere round balls, like the melon cactus. They are almost the only plants that grow in some parts of that country, and there is always plenty of sap inside their tough skins. To the hungry and thirsty crea tures that roam those dreary wastes in search of food and water they are very tempting. Were they not in some way protected these cactuses would soon be entirely destroyed, but nature has made them to be like strong forts or great armored battleships among planta They are guarded by all sorts of sharp spines and prickles and fine hairs that burn when they get into the flash Negation. This was overheard on the Ranger boat: First Woman—ls I married a man what drinked and I knowed he drinked when I married him I wouldn’t never say nothing about it Second Woman—l wouldn't neither. He’s got so bad now that she don't never expect nothing different—Shoe and Leather Reporter. There are more ants to the square mile in Florida than in any other coun try in the world. There are ants that measure more than half an inch in length, and then there are anta so small that thqy can scarcely be seen to move With the unaided eye. Raw eggs, milk and plenty of fruit are recommended for brain workers. The fruit corrects the bilious tendency of the milk and eggs. In some portions of Abyssinia the men mark the ears of their women as if they were so many hogs. COACHMEN’S SECRET CODE. Bow Driver. or Chicago Riga Commeal cato With Ono Another. Signaling has become a fine art in war So it has among the private coachmen of the wealthy residents of Chicago. One of the first things a coachman must learn is to look dignified. If his employer should find or hear him speaking to a fellow coachman while on the boulevard, there would be a sign hung on the stable door, “Coachman Wanted.” Even though he wears skin tight trousers, a coat shining with all the luster of a score of brass but tons and a plug hat with a peacock feather on the side, he is still human. The coach man has friends, and he wants to exchange greetings with them. The club of coachmen of this city is well known for its society affairs given once a year in the shape of a grand ball. While they are waiting the arrival of the ball they hold meetings nnd discuss coach var nish, tee clips and silver harness. At one of the gatherings or meetings the coach man turned to discussing the Morse sys tem of telegraphing. “I say, you fellows,” exclaimed one of the party as he jumped to his feet, “I have an idea. It is a capital one, don’t you know?” “Now, what is getting through youse, James,” said a coachman with a red face and the character of County Cork on his face. “Why, it’s this, Patrick, my boy,” re plied the first driver. “You know that Harold will not allow us to speak to each other on the street. Nor will Potter or Phil; and, in fact, none of the boys. Now, my scheme is this: Why can we not turn this Morse man’s system of wire talking into the coachman’s ‘system of whip talk ing?’ ” The suggestion at first was in a compli cated form, but Jarhes managed to make his scheme clear, and today “coachmen talk” with their long, whips can be seen daily on any of the streets of Chicago. To the person unacquainted with the code the flashing of whips, describing odd circles and a liberal arm play, would seem noth ing more than mere fancy movements on the part of the dignified driver, but to the hundred or more drivers who under stand what a fellow ooachman means when ho gives three rapid whirls of his whip, with two short cracks at tho end, it is all very simple. The three whirls of the whip from right to left, with the short cracks of the whip, mean this to the man who understands it: “I’m up against it Out with the young one returning 50 or more calls. Sympathy ■wanted.” If there is time for an answer, the coach man who has been addressed may return his answer with two long up and down movements of his arm with the whip, and then four crosscuts of the lash. This means, “We are shopping, late luncheon and last act as matinee.” Driving down Michigan avenue three carriages may bo close together. Some times the drivers manage to keep the car riages side by side. This is when the oc cupants keep a close watch on their coach men, and if they but dare nod their heads their positions are In danger. One of the coachmen employed by a well known resident of the Lake Shore drive told a reporter for The Chronicle that the secret code was known to but a hundred drivers. The grooms of the stables do not know the private signals, and those that do know them are bound to keep them secret. One of the interesting whip signals is made in the following manner: The, driver grasps his whip a few inches from the butt, sweeps it back and forth in a graceful manner seven times, drops the long lash in a drooping manner and then pushes the whip up and down a score of times in a violent fashion. This means: “The old man out last night. Plenty on board. Wife cried, then hot. Fired Molly, head girl, because ice water did not reach him in time. Regular h to pay. ” The art is used more at receptions. While the occupants of the carriages are In the house the coachmen line up along the street and carry on their small talk. “At the best,” said one of the coach men, “we are a lot held down by strict orders. We are not allowed to bow or speak on the street. If we do, we lose our positions or receive a warning that the next time it happens it will be all off. We got up this code partly for our own amuse ment, and then we can really talk. \Na have about 200 signals, and we have had them printed. Each member of the Coach men’s Signaling association has a copy of the rules. It is dead easy to fool the old man now.”—Chicago Chronicle. .!..■!! I ■ .... . - Drinking Water. • Dr. Austin Flint, Sr., used to say, “Plenty of water, plenty of water outside and in for health.” Since his day doctors generally have more and more strongly recommended water drinking, till now a certain and large number of glasses of water per day is one of the most familiar prescriptions from some of the best doctors at the best sanitariums in the land. High authorities now tell us that often the basis of success in the hot waters is neither the heat nor the minerals, but the water. The water is what the system of the patient was need ing. j We are taught now that there is no dan ger of drinking too much water and a good deal of not drinking enough. Os course that is not disputing the fact that it is very easy to drink too much ice water when we are warm and too much of any kind with our meals. , A practitioner and instructor at Belle vue recommends every one to drink a pint of water on getting up in the morning and a pint on going to bed at any temper ature he likes. This is a hygienic sug gestion, not a medicinal one. This very successful practitioner thinks it is the best way of giving the system needed liquid and declares many irregularities disappear under this regime. The water, mind, is not, however, to be gulped flown at one or two drafts. A half hour or more while dressing or undressing should be given to sipping the two glasses. This same physician recommends a good drink of water when we feel tired or faint—in that state that generally makes us turn to tea or coffee or wine. The water has an almost equally reviving effect and much better results in the long run.—St. Paul Pioneer Press. A Memorial Bell Tower. A remarkable college memorial Is the bell tower to contain a chime of 11 bells which is being built on the grounds of the lowa Agricultural college at Ames. It is in memory of Margaret McDonald Stan ton, wife of the professor of political econ omy in the college. The tower is being built by the state in appreciation of Stanton’s services as an educator and as a founder of the college. The bells arc to be the gift of Professor Stanton. Woman’s title to official appreciation seems to bo frankly recognized in lowa.—Harper’s Weekly. AT THE WATERLOd BALL. , tady fxralro Tighe's Imterwttag Story of That Thrilling Tima. An example of bow near to na ia the yesterday of romance and song may be found tn the recent death at her quiet home in Ireland of Lady Louisa Tighe, one of the women who danced at the fa mous Brussels ball before the battle of Waterloo. Every one who baa read Byron •-and it is getting fashionable to read Byron once more—remembers the poet's description of the ball, but it is given to few nowadays to have actually met and convened with a belle of that stirring oc casion. Not many months ago a girl spent an hour or so with Lady Louisa Tighe in her son’s house of Woodstock. She was of that refreshing type—the charming old lady. One would easily understand bow Louisa Tighe had once been a beauty, despite the wrinkles and crow’s feet which carklng cares had left upon her faoe. “Remember the ball before'Waterloo?” said she. “My dear, could you expect me to forget it? Everybody, I fancy, has a supreme event in his or her life; That was my supreme event. “I was staying at the British embassy, and in our party there were many lovely girls, now long since dead and gone. For weeks we had talked of the ball and of what we should wear. Girls were much the same then as they are today, and not even the return of Napoleon from Elba and the renewal of war seemed half so im portant to us as the approaching ball. “My dress—l have it still—was a plain white muslin, and over it I wore a blue sash, as became a debutante. There was no fear for any lack of partners, for Brus sels was full of young officers, and in the army of occupation no less than 25 of my own near relatives, all young men and nearly all of some dancing ability. Yon can easily picture, my dear, the flutter which their proximity gave us. “The great night came at last, none too soon for us. I knew quite well that Na poleon was marching on Brussels, but the thought disturbed me little, for I had al ready ten names upon my dancing list,, and the prospect was altogether delight ful. “If was a most enjoyable ball, but Byron was wrong when he described us as turning pale and listening with horror to the distant roar of cannon. The truth was that we heard no cannon at all. Indeed the three bands and the company of high land pipers would have drowned the roar of all Bonaparte’s ordnance at such a dis tance. >' “Indeed it was not until I missed the Duke of Brunswick from the ballroom that I really knew what was coming. The honored name of ‘Brunswick’s fated chief tain’ was upon my tablets for a dance, but when I looked around for the duke I could see him nowhere. In going, however, he was polite, for he left a callow aid-de-camp to tell me the truth about the oomlng bat tle. It is rather romantic, but that callow aid-de-camp eventually became my hus band. “Our acquaintance began at the Brus sels ball, when he showed both tact and kindliness in setting my fears at rest and actually danced with me the particular number opposite to which the Duke of Brunswick’s name had been set. “I staid with Lord Chmcarty’s family until after Waterloo had been fought and won. We did not rejoice very much at the victory, I fear, as the thousands of poor fellows coming In dead and wounded were not conducive to enjoyment.” Lady Louisa Tighe preserved to the last the white ball dress in which she danced at Brussels. The dance card on which the ill fated Duke of Brunswick’s name Bad been inscribed was unfortunately lost 25 years ago durihg a Are.—Exchange. The Value of Literature. “What is it?” asked the old farmer, looking askanceat the bagwhloh the book canvasser had dropped on the ground with a weary air. ■ “I have some of the most entertaining and Instructive literature of the day here, sir,” answered the canvasser, endeavoring to brighten up a little in order to secure a purchaser. “In these days of education, when our sons and daughters have been trained”— i “Ain’t got none,” interrupted the farm er gruffly and ungrammatically. “I have an assortment of books, sir, to suit-all,” continued the canvasser, “and any which I mqy not have in stock I can get on the shortest notice. Here are”— And he proceeded to rattle off the names of half a dozen as he pulled them out of his bag. “I’m afeared you ain’t got the kind I want,” said tho farmer after a careful survey of the exteriors. “This one seems to be the nearest. How much is it?” “That, sir, is 5 shillings,” replied the canvasser. f “Here, take it back,” said the farmer. “I want somethin cheap. You see," nw added, “I don’t read ’em, but they oomes in handy like. If it’s got a leather cover, it does very well for a razor strop. If it’s thick, it comes 4n fust rate to put under the drawers or the table when the foot or the caster oomes off. If it’s big, it’ll do to hold the winder up. And I like ’em with a fastener, so as the book won’t fly open and get the leaves smeared with mud when I throw it at the dog. No, I don’t think you’ve got any as will do for me.” —Pearson’s Weekly. English. Professor Skeat of Cambridge has a few pointed words to say about the dislike of some of his countrymen for the term “English.” Ina recently published let ter ho wrote thus: “Those who wish to substitute British have entirely forgot that if any one has a grievance tn this matter it is clearly the Londoner, for London is in Middlesex, the land of the middle Saxons, whereas thia extraneous word ‘English* ignores the Saxons as com pletely as it does the Scotch, just as the word ’British’ ignores Ireland. However, we shall have to move, it would seem, with the times, and we shall soon have before us a proposal that we must all talk of the Ainerico-Australio-Canado-Oape-of- Good - Hopo - Great-Britteh-and-lrish lan guage or probably something still more comprehensive in order to avoid wounding the peculiar feelings of those to whom the very name of England is an abomination. Only one thing stands at present in the way—viz, that there happen to be several million people still left to whom the name of England is no such thing, and these millions include foreigners out of every nation under heaven.” Picked Him Ont. A teacher war Introducing a lesson on “A Flint Stone" by a few remarks upon the primitive savage. After detailing many characteristics he wound up with: “He was very rough, using no knife or fork, but eating with his fingers. Now, Who was this?” Johnny—Please, sir, our lodger, sir.”— London lit-BUs. ANOTHER “SPITE” BUILDING. Cartons StrUetnrn on a HemaaaS «C tike De Peystes Propel ty. A “spite store," which outdoes the well known Richardson “spite house’' on the east aide, has just been completed tn the west end at West End avenue, the Boule vard and One Hundred and Eighth street. The store is one of the smallest buildings ever put up for the transaction of busi ness. It is 19 feet in depth and 9 feet in width at One Hundred and Eighth street, tapering to a sharp point at the south end. It is two stories in height, and the occu pant of the upper floor will be compelled to ascend and descend upon a ladder. Il has a single wall of brick extending along the rear. The front is of steel, with plate glass windows, and the roof la of tile. This curious structure is erected upon a remnant of the Do Peystar estate and orig inally belonged to a large tract of land purchased by the De Peyster family short ly ofter the close of the Revolution, when the De Peyster homestead was located up on the ground now occupied by St. Lnke’e hospital, One Hundred and Thirteenth street, Morningside Heights. The rem nant was left when West End avenue, the Boulevard and One Hundred and Eighth street were opened, and Henry T. Cary, the executor of the De Peyster estate, has long been at a loss to know what to do with it, as Mrs. Sherman, the owner of lots on the corner, refused to purchase it. The plot was at last leased for a term of years to Michael M. McDermott of St. Nicholas avenue, and he immediately be gan to eroot the tiny store upon his claim. Mrs. Sherman, the owner of the sur-* rounding property, came from Washing ton at once to interfere with the work, but found she could do nothing. Mean* while several persons with whom She was negotiating for the sale of her property withdrew thfeir option when they saw the store being placed on the corner. The structure is said to have cost more than 92,000. It is erected upon a solid concrete-foundation to withstand severe windstorm* The lower floor has been fitted as a refreshment booth for bicyclists, the roof baa also been leased to a stereop tlcon advertising firm, and the upper floor is designed as showrooms for specialties. —New York Commercial. The Drafted Soldier. Oulda stoutly denies that the soldier Is the highest type of humanity or that obe dience is the highest human virtue. The obedience which is exacted from the sol dier is very much like slavery, and it is no moral sot and teaches no virtue. “There is no servant, groom, artisan, farm laborer or hireling of any kind so lazy, so impudent, so insubordinate and so useless as the young man who has recently come out from his term of compulsory service. When Lord Wolseley utters the preposter ous declaration that tho education given by conscription teaches a lad ‘all the qual ities calculated to make*hlm a thoroughly useful and loyal citisen,* has,he the least idea of what is the actual moral state of the barrack yards and barrack rooms of the armies of the continent? When the youth has bad purity and strength of character and of mind enongh to resist the contagion in which he has been steeped, he will in nine instances out of ten be a spoiled agriculturist, artisan, student, laborer. “f can conceive nothing so appalling to the world as would be the forcing of the military temper down the threats of Ms sa tire multitudes. Militarism is the nega tion of individuality, of originality and of true liberty. Its somber shadow is spread over Europe. Its garroting collar of steel is on the throat of the people. The whole people sweat, groan, perish, under the bur dens laid upon them for the maintenance of the vast battalions of young men im prisoned in barrack yards in enforced idle ness and semistarvation.” Collier’s Weekly. Celluloid. Though the chemical constitution of cel luloid is a matter of doubt, the art of man ufacturing this peculiar modern product is explained in a few words—an article, says The Trade Journals* Review, made by the combined action of pressure and beat, or with the aid of solvents, in that case in the cold. The camphor is dissolved in al cohol, as little as possible, and the solution sprayed through a rose on to the pyroxy lin, the latter perfectly dry, a second layer of pyroxylin being then added, moistened again with camphor solution, and so on. The gelations lump is worked between iron rollers, to which it adheres, and the layer is slit longitudinally and rolled again. The cakes, .4 Inch thick, are cut into plates, about 2 feet by 1 foot, and pass for 24 hours into hydraulic presses, which are doubly steam jacketed. The mass is now sawed into plates, which are dried at about 95 degrees F., for a week or two and final ly cut Into smaller pieces, from which the articles are stamped. Further, according to a writer in The Gummi Zeitung, it ap pears that at Magnus & Co. ’s. noted estab lishment in Berlin the method pursued is believed to consist in pouring 100 parts of ether on 50 of collodion wool and 25 of camphor, the covered mass being then stirred in earthenware vessels with rubber sticks until a homogeneous gelatinous mass is obtained, and then roiled. Apart from dyestuff and other additions, the average celluloid consists of two-thirds pyroxylin and one-third camphor. Alaskan Squaws. Alaskan squaws are not sensitive on the subject of their age. On the contrary, they take some trouble to make it known to the world. They wear a piece of wood or bone in the lower lip, the size of the ornament Indicating the age of the owner. When a girl marries, her lower lip is pierced and a peg of wood or a piece of bone the size of a pea inserted. As the grows older thifls increased In size until it is almost as wide as her chin and one fourth of an inch high. The result is na turally most unsightly. There Is an in teresting family at Fort Wrangel which illustrates perfectly this peculiar custom. It Includes four generations. A young girl may be seen sitting on one side of the one roomed square frame house, while her mother, grandmother and great-grand mother are squatted on the earthen floor Deer the door offering mate and baskets to the ship's passengers who come on shore. There is no disfiguring object an the girl’s chin, but three is a big one on the lip of the great - grandmother. —; Philadelphia Ledger. A P*upfff PrIBOMB. The Infanta Isabella Ferdinands Fran ootse Josephine, aunt of the king of Spain and sister of the ex-King Francis d’Assisi, who died the other day in poverty in a wretched inn in Paris, was the most beau tiful princess in the Spanish court 50 'years ■go. Her .marriage in 1841 to Count Ig natius Gurowskl, a Pole, caused a rupture between her and her family. Ho died in 1887, leaving bar penniless, and she has bean living from band to mouth ever riuoe ' ’ ’ : ’ ’W AN OPEN LETTER To MOTHERS. WE ARE ASSERTING IN THE COURTS OUR RIGHT TO THE EXCLUSIVE USE OF THE WORD “CASTOKIA,” AND “PITCHER’S CASTORIA,” as our trade mark. L DR. SAMUEL PITCHER, qf Hyannis, Massachusetts, was the originator of “PITCHER’S CASTORIA,” the same that has borne and does now yrf'Aj m eoer V bear the facsimile signature of wrapper. This is the original “ PITCHER'S CASTORIA,” which has been used in the homes of the Mothers of America for over thirty years. LOOK CAREFULLY at the wrapper and see that it is the hind you have always bought > >7"* and has the signature of wrap- per. Ho one has authority from me to use my name ex cept The Centaur Company of which Chas. H. Fletcher is President. ‘ _ March 8,1897. • Do Not Be Deceived. Do not endanger the life of your child by accepting a cheap substitute which some druggist may offer yo” (because he makes a few more pennies on it), the in gredients of which even he does not know. “The Kind You Have Always Bought” BEARS THE FAC-SI MILE SIGNATURE OF Insist on Having The Kind That Never Failed lou. wi •■MTAva »•««•». rv <M.MV everov. mw *M« «nv. i —GET YOUR — JOB PRINTING DONE AT The Morning Call Office. We have jut supplied our Job Office with a complete Um oi btationerv kinds and can get up, on short notice, anything wanted in the way <m LETTER HEADS, BILL HEADS STATEMENTS,. IKCULARS, ENVELOPES, NOTES, MORTGAGES, * PROGRAMS, CARDS, POSTERS dodgers, nra, nt Wecenytae ’xnt inc of FNVEIXIFEH w iffrtd : thia trade. An sllr active POSTER cf uy size can be issued on short notice Our prices tot work oi all kinds will compere favorably with those obtained toe any office in the state. When you want job printing oft any d<tcrij tici. pve t, call Satisfaction guaranteed. piisiiii j I Bk —l—m ALL WORK DONE With Neatness and Dispatch. Out of town orders will receive prompt attention . J. P.&S B. Sawtell, ■ CEHTHIL OF GEORGIA RAILWAI CO. ♦♦♦♦♦ Schedule in Effect Jan. 9, 1898. TtoTi- No.l Dally. Dally. Dally. ersBOMB. Daily. DaHy. Daily. JfiSS ISS JSSfc—JSSIBSX IgS ISS igg «S .«S i?18S ’iSS »SS “sE IsS IgS S» am «3s pm Ar Augusta Lv B*em •••: «>Ya»«ah ....._ *Dnily. tezeept ruruier iniOvniswon •© c. 8. wHrru, Ttakri 4rrot. Qrma.es „ fEHBO. D. KLINE, Geul BupiL, ShkTBlUMLh* Gfle