Newspaper Page Text
A CHINESE WEDDING.
my aterious importance, the next bridal
color in vs lus being gold. At* be
trothal the bridegroom elect sends bin
sweetheart a pair of bracelets fastened
together with a piece of red ribbon or
cord. The bride and bridegroom drain
two wine cups at the wedding, which
are also connected by a red cord. ’ W
northern China the attendants wear
tall felt hats, and each hat has a red
feather stuck upright in it The attend-,
ants also carry the wedding presents.
A sedan chair bears the bride herself.
In south China a sedan most wonder
appears at first sight to be brilliant in
laid stones, but which are in reality
the glossy feathers of the kingfithy A
handsome cloth of glowing red with
trimmed border is also thrown oyer the
chair.
In the case of the poorer classes red
is also the prevailing bridal color, and
a chair of ordinary carved wood, paint
ed a bright red, is used. Above the door
of the chair a kind of charm is placard
ed or hung upon a red cloth. The chair
itself is sent by the bridegroom, accom
panied by what corresponds to cur beet
man. Thia functionary brings with him
a letter written in yellow or gold upon
red paper, praying the lady to enter
and take her place.
Men dressed all in red and carrying
red parcels containing the presents fall
into the procession. Other bearers carry
boards and banners, inscribed in golden
letters upon a red ground. These ban
ners tell the pedigree of both parties.
Behind the bearers come the other at
tendants! with long poles, on which are
hung very handsome lanterns. JlThe
' bride’s veil is of bright crimson sane
and her dress regal gold ahd Scarlet.—
Wide World.
.•Ww pa
JACK HORNER.
The Rleh Plum That He Extract**
From That Chrietmaa Pie.
For the benefit of those who are not
quite little folks Agnes Carr Sage, in
Lippincott’s Magazine, tells the origin
and history of some famous nursery
stories and rhymes, among them "The
Pleasant History of Jack Horner,” con
taining "His Witty Tricks and Pleas
ant Pranks, ” for so it is set forth in a
very old chapbook, carefully preserved
in the Bodleian library.
It appears that this worthy was stew
ard to an abbot of Glastonbury. The
good abbot learned that his majesty
Henry VIII had seen fit to be indignant
because the monks had built a kitchen
which he could not burn down. Now, a
king’s indignation was dangerous and
must be appeased. Therefore the abbot
sent bls steward. Jack Horner, to pre
sent the sovezeign with a suitable peace
offering. It took the form of a big and
tempting looking pie, beneath the crust
of which the transfer deeds of 12 man
ors were hidden.
But Master Jack had an eye for the
profit of No. 1, and on the road he
slyly lifted the crust and abstracted the
deeds of the Manor of Wells. On his
return, bringing the deeds, he plausibly
explained that they had been given to
him by the king; hence the rhyme:
Little Jack Horner
Sat in a corner (of the wagon),
Eying his Christmas pie;
He put in his thumb
And pulled ont a plum (the title deed),
Saying, "What a bravo boy am ll**
Town Hames.
The Cleveland Leader says that a man
registered in a local hotel the other day;
giving his place of residence as Sleepy
Bye, Minn. Half an hour later another
guest registered from Painted Post, la.
The clerk paid no especial attention
to this, but when the next man to regis
ter boldly wrote "White Pigeon,
Mich.,’* after his name, both the clerk
and the bookkeeper began to get inter
ested.
While they were talking about the
queer names that had been given to
some of our western towns, a dignified
• looking man stepped up to the office,
whirled the register around, and
scrawled “Horseheads, N. Y.”
Superlatives.
Dr. Johnson says in his "Grammar
of the English Tongue:” "The com
parison of adjectives is very uncertain,
and, being much regulated by oommo
diousness of utterance, is not easily re
duced to rules. ”
Then he quotes passages from "Para
dise Lost, ” in which these words are
found, "virtuouseet, ” “powerfullest, ”
and a passage from "Samson Agonistes”
Which contains the word "famousest.”
Surely Milton had an ear.-—Notesand
Queries. , ,
Municipal Jcaloualea.
New Yorker—You are a stranger
here, I presume?
Chicago Man (haughtily)—l am from
the’great city that New York is jealous
of.
New Yorker—Ah! And how are
things in dear old Lunncal—New York
Weekly.
Mew Way to Get Rich.
An Arkansas contemporary records a
..queer case of financial irregularity. It
appears that a young man down there
swallowed a copper oent by mistake and
a doctor made him cough up $2. —Chi-
cago Times-Herald.
1 '"*•
She DM.
"Sissy," said the fresh young man,
"does your mother know you’re out?”
"Ofc, yes, ” replied the fair one, "and
she gave me a penny to buy a monkey.
Are you for sale?”—Philadelphia North
American. : v
- -.
Excel. That a s a Woman.
We (reading the paper)—The gi
raffe has a tongue 18 Inches long.
Husband—-Aren’t you jealous?—New
York World. T
; « . . _ • • « L jumm
' ’"W.'"’ 1 »
GEN. SHAFTER’S LESSON.
« Was on Thi. Oeeaaion That Ho
Lear.e* to Deci*. Fc HLmIL
Hare is a story that the Cleveland
Leader proffers about General Shafts*.
It centers about his salient trait of be
ing pugnacious, just as all current end
well invented anecdotes of "Fighting
Bob” Evans revolve around some in
candescent bit of profanity. But the
story runs thus, as the general is made
to tell it:
"Once, when I was a boy s* school—l
wasn’t more
the time—our teacher called up the
class in mental arithmetic and began
putting beginning with the
pupil at the head ot the row and going
down toward the foot, until some one
could give the correct answer. I stood
W’Z.T.'VwMfiK
years older and considerably ahead of
me in the various studies that we had.
f " ‘How ' much are 18 and 9 and 8?’
the teacher asked.
"While one after another of the boys
and girls ahead of me guessed and
failed to get it right I figured out what
I thought the answer ought to be. The
question bad almost got to me when I
heard the big boy just below me whis
pering, apparently to himself, but loud
enough for me to hear, *29, 29, 29.*
"Finally the pupil above me failed
to answer correctly, and then it was my
turn.
" ‘Well, Willie,’ said the teacher,
‘let’s see if you know the answer. Come,
nqw, be prompt *
"I cocked my bead up proudly on one
side, cast a triumphant look at those
who had ‘fallen down’ on the problem
and said, so that everybody in the
schoolroom could hear me:
" ‘Twenty-nine!’
" ‘Next. How many are 18 and 9
and 8?
“ ‘Aw J’ said the big boy below me,
“That was what - I had figured it to
be myself, and when the teacher said
‘correct’ I wanted to fight.
"I didn’t assault him, but I made up
my mind right there and then to depend
on my own judgment In the future, and
ever since theuttfien I have had any
thing to do and had figured out what I
considered the beat way to do it I have
gone ahead, remembering, when people
criticised or tried to throw me off the
track, how that big boy made a fool of
me fn the mental arithmetic class.”
SETTLED THE BORE.
An Abrupt Termination to n Restau
rant Conversation.
Hon. Joseph Chamberlain, when on
his first visit to this country several
years ago. was taking a chop and a
glass of ale in a Washington restaurant
one afternoon, and a than around town
who is somewhat noted'for his forward
ness, not to say his freshness, was din
ing in the same room, and he recognized
the English parliamentarian. He walked
over to Chamberlain’s table, and, quite
uninvited, took the opposite seat. With
in the space of five minutes he was toll
ing Chamberlain what a third rate out
fit he considered England to be. The
man’s Mik, needless to say, was in very
rank taste. Chamberlain adjusted hit
monocle firmly and looked at the ob
trusive chap amusedly.
“Now, we’ll take England in the
matter of great men, ’’ said Chamber
lain’s uninvited table mate. "Where
does England cut in in the matter of
great men nowadays, anyhow? England
has got Gladstone, of course, but he
was born about 110 years ago, and he’s
a back number. I’ll just ask you, Mr.
Chamberlain, a fair question, What
really great man, what noted character,
has England produced, say, within the
past 50 years? Answer me that, sir!**
"With pleasure,” said Chamberlain,
permitting his monocle to fall into his
lap and taking his hat and cane from
the rack. "Great man, me. Noted char
acter, Jack the Ripper. I bid you good
afternoon.”—Washington Post.
Domestic Repartee.
She had put on her hat and gloves
and was moving toward the door, when
he looked up from his newspaper and
asked:
“Where are you going?”
"A husband with good sense never
asks his wife where she is going.”
"But I suppose a woman with good
sense has the right to ask her husband
where he is going?”
"A woman with good sense never
does anything of the kind, because if
she has good sense she never marries, so
she has no husband. Ta, tai”
And it novar dawned on her that she
had called herself an idiot—Pearson'i
Weekly.
His Enviable Lot.
Mr. Pitt —Since your friend Blinkini
married Miss Bonds he has been lead
ing the life of a dog.
Mr. Penn—l’m sorry for him.
“I’m not.”
“Don’t you sympathize with him?”
“Nqt at ill. He has nothing to do
but eat, sleep and amuse himself. It’r
the life of a pet pug dog he leads.”—
Pittaburg Chronicle-Telegraph.
Once Too Often.
this excitement about?”
"Nothing worth mentioning. Man
‘‘Not exactly. One of these men who
always catch hold of you and push you
out of their way when you happen to
meet them at a crowded corner grabbed
the wrong man just now. That’s all. ”
—Chicago Tribune.
The Suspicious Mother.
Admire a baby and the mother al
ways looks pleased. Admire her dog
and she glares at you. Maybe the reason
for thia is that she ia quite sure you do
not wish to steal the baby, but isn’t
altogether certain regarding your atten
tions where the ddg ia concerned.—Ex
change.
—»—n^ns—mwM—mamnanmuranaSMWSSn
THE AMERICAN BAILOR.
1 W to th. N^?**"** aCI '
I Jacky, who used to be more sailor
than gunner, is now more gunner than ,
sailor. Just in proportion as he has
ceased to be a part of tbe great aagina
on which he lives, so he has come more
and more into tbe control of it, and as
the cardinal purpose of a warship is to
hit things with her projectiles Jacky
has become a specialist in getting that
work out of her. He does it in two
places—at the guns and at the engines,
Correctly pointed guns are of no use
unless the platform on which they rest
is put in proper relation to the thing to
be hit and kept there. Equally it is use
less to get the ship into proper place
unless the guns are correctly pointed.
Men who can do either of these things
must have natural capacities and be sus
ceptible to education, and only men ot
this sort are eligible for our navy.
Accordingly tbe "beach comber,” or
the “rock scorpion,** or any other va
riety of that ruck of marine refuse
which drifts around the great maritime
porta and ships in any craft where
“grub” is plenty and work light, no
longer slings his hammock Uncle
Sam’s berth deck, as he used to do, to
the. shame of the service, In years gone
by. Nor can the tramp nor the jailbird
nor even the incorrigible black sheep ot
the family thus be provided for, to the
relief of constables and long suffering
relatives. No man or boy can now pass
a United States naval recruiting officer
unless. he is clean, healthy, honest,
young, strong and intelligent, nor can
he afterward get that advancement,
which is certainly open to him without
fear or favor, unless he continues to
show aptitude and ability.—Baric Ben
jamin in Independent
ARMY AND NAVY GUNS.
A Vast Dlflbrsneo la th. Number of Man
Required to Handle Them.
The number of men required to man
naval guns of the British, French, Ger
man and American navies is about the
same, although the French are under
stood to have more men as a rule for
some of the larger guns.
- For the 4 inch and 6 inchall services
require four men to work each piece;
for the 6 inch, six men are heeded, and
tor the 10, 12 and 13 inch the same
cumber.
As nearly all our 8, 10, 12 and 18
inch guns are used in pairs and mount
ed in turrets the 12 men working them
are protected by heavy plates of steel.
For-the little 1 pounders three men are
necessary to work them rapidly, and
for the 8 pounders and fl pounders four
three Tel^ 83 ’ Hotchkiss
Treble the number of men seem to be
required to wprif thp, same caliber of
guns in our coast defense system, al
though there is no special reason for
this,' unless it be due to the fact that
thearmy"guns are mounted on disap
pearing carriages and are not provided
with turrets, which naturally limits the
space of the operaton. An army 8 inch
gun takes 15 men to work it; a 10 inch
gun requires 18 men, and a 12 inch
gun, the largest now constructed by the
army, calls for 21 men.
It will be seen, therefore, that a 18
inch naval gun is operated by six men,
while an army gun of one inch less cali
ber calls for 21 men. The navy gun can
be fired jpst as rapidly with its six men
as the army gun can be fired with its
larger number.—Boston Herald.
At Im on Masks*.
A funny scene occurred many yean
ago in congress. A present of Arabian
horses, a sword, etc., arrived from the
imam of Maskat for President Adam*
A western member with some heat
moved that the gift should be sent
back, with a letter from congress, in
forming, the rule* of Maakat that the
president of the United States was no
king, but the servant of the people, and
was not permitted to give or receive
presents.
Another member rose. “Such a let
ter, Mr. Speaker," he said, "can easily.
be written. But where is it to be sent?
Where ia Maskat?”
There was no response. Apparently
not a memberof the house was prepared
to answer, nor could Maskat then be
found in any atlas published in this
country. It was found at last on a Ger
man map. A civil answer was returned,
I and the geographers made haste to in
sert Maskat in the next edition of their
maps.—Exchange.
i' "" ' '
Th. Otter Way Around.
The loyalty of tbe Scottish highlander
i to his kilt is a picturesque thing. Ha
will never admit that it makes him
cold, and highlanders who were suffer
ing from cold in the ordinary dress of
civilization have been known to substi
tute the kilt for it in order to get
warm, though this would be much like
removing one’s coat and waistcoat and
rolling up one’s shirt sleeve* for tbe
same purpose.
It is said that a stranger, seeing a
1 soldier in full highlander uniform ahiv
-1 ering in a cold wind, asked him:
"Sandy, are you sold with the kilt?”
"Na, na, mon/’ tbe soldier answered
indignantly, "but I’m nigh kilt with
the canid I"—Exchonre.
Harrah!
W. J. Spratley, the Egyptologist,
tbinku that "there can be ne doubt that
1 the Egyptian soldiers in ancient times
i went into the battle to the inspiring
i cheer of the‘Hooßal Hooßal Hooßal’
I and if tbe average questioning man
’ asks why he replies with this, ‘Because
Hoo Ra (in the tongue of the Barneses)
means ‘the king, the king, the king!* ”
Tarnlnc the Stock.
> A writer in The Dry Goods Chronicle
• says: "A good point for tbe retail mer
i chant to remember is that it is not how
I large a business he does, but how many
times bis stock is turned in the course
of the year, thatrmlly indicators
.. . .J./ I .MU S
Cartel. KM* la tn— T ate ia ha
one whom name stands pre-eminent ia
America a* the typical hero of the
dreaded blade flag. The name of this
man will instantly come to tbe mind of
In fact, however, Captain Kidd was
not a typical pirate, for in many ways
Ito was different from the ordinary ma
rine freebooter, especially when we con
sider him in relation to our own coun
try. All other pirates who made them
selves notorious on our coast were
known as robbers, pillagers and ruth
lam destroyers of life and property, but
Captain Kidd*# tame w of and her
kind. We do not think of hlmaar
pirate who came to cany away the
property of American citizens, for near
ly all th* stories about him relate to his
arrival at different points on our shores
for the sole purpose ot hiding the rich
treasures which he had collected in oth
er parts of the world.
This could not fail to make Captain
Kidd a most interesting personage, end
the result has been that be has been
lifted Into the region of legendary ro
mance. There are two Captain Kidds—
tbe Kidd of song and story, and the
other the Kidd of fact—Frank R.
Stockton in St Nicholas.
In March, 1798, the sheriffs of the
territory which is now Tennessee took
a census of thrir own, and as there were
80,000 citizens of proper age the terri
tory declared itself a state, proceeded to
choose a governor, a congressmen and
a legislature, which selected two United
States senators. Congress, then in ses
sion in Philadelphia, had received no
information regarding the action in the
territory until congressmen and sena
tors walked in uninvited and announced
that a state had been born, had elected
its officers, made its laws and was run
ning on scheduled tima-
Oongrem was disconcerted and noti
fied the applicants that the sheriff’s
census was irregular and they must
wait at least for an invitation before
they proceeded to sit at the federal ta
ble. Upon second thought congress de
cided to be courteous, and on June 1
admitted Tennessee,nearly three months
after she had become a state by be* own
setion. This state, whom coming into
the Union was a little previous; was
the third state in the Union to provide
a president for the Union and the first
outside the original 18, and with one
exception the only state south of the
Ohio and the James ever to furnish a
president; and she has provided three,
more than any other state except New
York, Virginia and Ohio. Boston
Transcript.
SmMrt TMs*
"Father," asked Tommy, the other
day, "why is it that the boy is said to
be the father of the man?”
Mr. Tompkins had never given this
subject any thought, and was hardly
prepared to answer offhand.
"Why—why," he mid stumblingly,
"it’s so because it 1% I suppose."
"Well, pop, since I’m your father,
I’m going to give yon a ticket to tbe
oircus and half a crown besides. X al
ways said that if I was a father I
wouldn’t be so stingy as the rest of
them are. Go in, pop, and have a good
time while you’re young. I never had
any chance myself I"
Mr. Tompkins gazed In blank aston
ishment at Tommy. Slowly the signifi
cance of the hint dawned upon him.
Producing a half sovereign, he said:
“Take it, Thomas. When you really
do become a father, I hope it won’t be
your misfortune to have a son who is
smarter than yourself." London
Graphic. '
•on and Wsatter.
On the Ist of July the earth receiver
8 par oent lem heat from the ran than
it does during a corresponding period
in the month of January. But winter
does not ocour then ih the northern
hemisphere, because tbe sun runs high
in the sky and its rays tall upon the
earth more nearly vertically than six
months later, and, too, the day is much
longer than the night, so that while
the ran sands us a little lem heat in to
tal amount we get a much large* pro
portion of what it does give us than we
do in January, when the total heat for
the whole earth is greater.—New York
Times. ’
tom torsm She torsnsh.
A boulevardle* is at once surprised
and enchanted to meet an old time com
panion whore suieidehad been reported.
"H’s true,” said the latter. "I did
want to kill myself, simply from dis
taste eflifeL And then eame along the
doctors and discovered that I had a
grate disorder. Since then, you under
tomd, I takeoare of myself I’’—Figaro.
Barot* Hs WroStaX
"XX I were only a man,” she arid,
"we could”—
"Ptoribly weooald,”he arid, "but
thaetanom are we wouldn’t If yon
wereaman, X wouldn’t be here. I’d be
aaylng nice things to aotoebody who
waan’taaren."
Wtwnsffmss it la worth while to think
of aooh facta aa theae.—Chicago Poet
The resq ■».
Tbeloogue la divided into three re
gions at taato otah at whieh faasite
own special function. The tip of the
tongue is chiefly sensible to pungent and
arid taatoa the middle portion to
sweets or bittera, while the back is con
fined entirely to the flavors of roast
ri <* and fatty
Whs ItMbl
Agent-I think I can sell this place
for you, but I can’t get the |5,000 you
aA. Yea’ll have to take »4, »8-
Owner—That’s queer. Why should
the extra $3 stand in the vnjl
Agent—My eustomsr is a wnsna>
x
CASfORIA
The Kind You Have Always and which hu been
in use for over 30 years* has borne the slgpnataire of
has been made reader hfat per*
/J* . tonal suservfsfcm ahum Its faslhncy
m saru Jtaoaaa dan *w sum dBSaOS
w dWJfIVW ■■<> <>ll<9 to IV<5 you in MHWs
All Counterfeits, Isritations and Mbatttntss aav hurt Ex
porimenta that trifle with and endgngw tbe heaMfe of
In f anta and Children—Evpesrtenca agldnst EvporhnsmA -
What is CASTOWA
Caatorta la a substitute for Castor OH* Ptaregurte, Drops
and Soothing Syrups. It is HdnStoas arid Ptsgssat. It
contains neither Opium* HorFhlno nmr ether Nareotlc
subbtanco. Its a*e ta its gtobraated/ It destroys Worms
and allays Feverishness. It cures Diarrhoea and Wind
Colic. It relieves Teething Troubles* cures Constipation
and Flatulency. It swsbnilaCtea tike Food* regulates the
Stomach and Bowels* giving healthy and natural sleep.
The Children’s Panacea The Mother’s Priced.
QSNUINS CASTORIA *»-WAVB
Bears the Signature of
The Kind Yon Have Always Bought
In Use For Over 30 Years.
pise eesmMMi eMpatav* tv mm wiiat MfMIK tt«w
—GET YOUB —
, •£< »• "' J 7 ".?
JOB PRINTING
*'•■■■ '
- - ’ # >i
DONE A.T
The Morning Call Office.
' . ':■
We have just supplied our Job Office with a complete Hue ol tKatenerv
kinds and can get up, on short notice, anything wanted In the way oi
~ ■ ■ ■’ ’ '.?■ s-k- ■•■ u ..af
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LETTER HEADS, BILL HEADS
- * _ ■ *'4,?'-' ''t l
STATEMENTS, IRCULARB,
ENVELOPES, NOTES,
MORTGAGES, PROGRAMS
JARDB, POSTERS
DODGERS, EXV
.
Wv vry tee best ine of ENVELOPES vm >ftrwd : this trade,
•■ >• : ‘ IIM MSy4. <» A
Ka »Utnc.in. POSPER cl aay sise caa be issued on short notes.
Our prices for work of all kinds win compare fisvorably w«h those dbtelMd MB
aay
call Satlsftction guaranteeu.
' '?» .'.e-sfte i? ■:>'
,r >l '; ■ ' i-/
.. ' »-
• . ■■■ • '■"■■
ALL WORK DONE
With Neatness and Dispatch.
* X "»» ■?>' * 7-
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Out of town orders will receive
prompt attention,
3. P. & S B. SawtelL
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