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4A ®jje Heraltr Tuesday, June 1,2021
Kudzu and Clay: Apocalypse
It is a lot more com
mon these days to think
about what would hap
pen if the entire world
collapsed and we woke
up to a post-apocalyptic
wasteland. Movies
depicting this kind of
horror are a lot less
entertaining and a little
more jarring than they
used to be. We live in a
time where any scenario
is not really out of the
realm of possibility. Zom
bies. Nuclear war. A black
hole swallowing us up.
The sun exploding into a
supernova. Unlikely, but
not improbable.
Sitting down with my
wife, having our nightly
recap and counseling ses
sion of everything that
bothered us about the
day, this topic came up.
My wife reminded me, as
she does on a regular ba
sis, that if such a thing as
the end of the world is to
happen, 1 will be on my
own. 1 am not allowed to
go with her because I will
slow her down and cause
her to die. I remind her
that I am an Eagle Scout
and she reminds me that
I am the worst Eagle
Scout there ever was. She
may be correct. I get lost
in my own neighborhood
from time to time.
The problem she has
with me joining her dur
ing such a catastrophic
event has nothing to do
with my orienteering
skills. Face it, if the world
ended, maps are going to
be the last thing on your
mind. No. She will not
take me with her because
she thinks I will eat all of
her food, leaving her to
starve. Again, she may be
correct.
I do most of the gro
cery shopping for my
household. I enjoy going
to the grocery store and
walking around. Probably
because I was in my early
teens before I ever went
into a large supermarket.
They still amaze me. I
usually am given a list
by my “manager”
but I enjoy going
off script as well.
I’ll get her and my
son a few things
I think they’d like
but I stop short of
getting myself that
much. I’ll get a bag
of pork rinds or
some wasabi peas,
that’s all. Selfless.
I have been
made aware of a
very disturbing
trait of mine. The
issue starts when I come
home and put away the
groceries. I make a big
deal out of whatever
cookie or candy or silly
breakfast thing I bought
them. I say, “I bought this
for you.” Within a few
hours, I get hungry and
I look at what I bought
myself. I look at what I
bought them. Then, for
whatever reason, the
stuff I got them looks
better. Tastier. So I eat
some of it. Not all of it,
but some of it. Yes, I pur
chased these
things for them,
but we are a
family. We can
share.
My wife
doesn’t see it
that way. Her
viewpoint is
that if I bought
food for her
and food for
me, why in the
world would
I eat her food
first? This fight
comes up a lot, but I
have only now come to
terms with the fact that
she is right. I do eat her
food first. Only then do
I consume my food. My
food is something I have
purchased subconscious
ly knowing they would
never eat. What 6-year-
old eats wasabi peas?
Now that I am aware
of this I notice I do it with
everything. If there is a
beverage that has been
purchased exclusively
for my wife I will sub
consciously develop a
thirst for it and drink it
before anything I have
for myself. She likes lime
seltzer water, I like grape
fruit, but Lord help me if
there is a cold lime in the
refrigerator and a cold
grapefruit, I’ll always pick
the lime.
For paper products, if
she has a box of Kleenex
on her nightstand and
I have a box on mine,
I will always reach for
hers first. My son has no
lollipops or popsicles
because I ate them all
and only left him with my
pork rinds. I am a mon
ster.
I like to think this kind
of behavior is a survival
mechanism I developed
by growing up in a house
full of men. It was either
eat what you can, when
you can, or don’t eat at
all. We were like cave
people. The minute we
found a wildebeest we
went for the part we
wanted, even though we
knew we’d eat the hoof if
nobody else did. I don’t
want to be a caveman.
Lately, I have been
trying to break this habit
so that in the event of
the end of the world I can
survive with my family.
The other morning while
I was making my cof
fee and reaching for the
fiber-rich cereal I bought
for my old man self, I
hate to admit, some
thing came over me and
I poured the last bowl
of my son’s chocolate
cereal, leaving him with
nothing but my fiber-rich
twigs. If the end of the
world comes my family
won’t let me come with
them, and neither should
anyone else... if they
want to survive.
Chris Walter is a writer, artist,
and Barnesville native. He has just
published his first book, “Southern
Glitter”. You can find more informa
tion about his art and writings at
kudzuandclay.com
Thank those who
have helped
you right now
KAY S. PEDROTTI
kayspedrotti@gmail.com
Wishing and “wait
ing for heaven” won’t
bring back my beloved
parents,
grand
parents,
aunts,
uncles,
cousins,
in-laws
and
price
less friends. I now know
that the support, love,
expertise and “good ad
vice” from my departed
dear ones have shaped
my life, my attitudes and
who I am. And I never
thanked them enough.
So, with the indul
gence of The Herald
Gazette, I will mention
just a few “living people”
who are dear to me now
for many reasons. My
same-age cousins, Anne
Watson O’Connor of
Lilburn (paternal) and
Lynda Cook Thompson
of Woodstock (maternal),
and I talk often enough
to laugh ourselves silly
over the “stuff” we did
and got into when we
were growing up. I hope
they have forgiven me
for being the little priss
I sometimes was; many
times I must have hurt
them by acting “uppity.”
I love you wonderful
women, so thank you
for sticking with me now
that we are old and gray!
My children and
daughters-in-law have
been more than a little
influential in hard times,
though their advice is
often too “spot-on” for
me to appreciate right
away. But they love me
anyhow, and gradually I
see the truths they are
brave enough to tell me.
So thank you Beth, Vic
and Amy, Mike and Tree.
I never get enough time
with any of you, but you
are in my thankful heart,
my thoughts and my
prayers of gratitude for
the wonderful people
you are, all the time.
The gratitude I have was
rapidly passed down to
all the grandchildren as
I watched them grow up
into such good people.
My grandparents
on both sides were the
kind of folks who should
be emulated by more
people than their de
scendants. They fought
the hard times of the
Great Depression and
World Wars I and II; they
did what had to be done
to keep food on the table
for their large bunches of
young’uns: eight in both
families lived to adult
hood. I miss all four of
them to this day. I hope
that before they all died,
they had some of idea
of how much I loved
them and how grateful I
was (and am) that they
were my grandparents.
I miss them all the more
because on the paternal
side I have only my uncle
Gerald and his wife Betty
and uncle David’s remar
ried widow Elke. On my
mother’s side there is
only Fumiko, widow of
Mama’s older brother
Elmo. Now when I think
of something to ask
about the past - there’s
no one left who knows
it all.
The living person for
whom I have the most
love and gratitude, day
after day, is my husband
Bob Pedrotti. That’s all
I can say, because he’s
groused about “quit put
ting me in your column.”
But thanks, honey; every
body else is getting a
copy of this too!
Kay S. Pedrotti has spent some
50 years writing for newspapers.
She is active in the Lamar County
com- munity and currently serves
as the president of Lamar Arts. She
lives in Milner with her husband Bob
Pedrotti.
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Send letters to P.O.
Box 220, Barnesville,
30204, email it to news@
barnesville.com or drop
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Street, Barnesville.
Star Teacher
of the Year
2020*2021
i ocons'i Sch0 °'
Presented to
John UohM
Star Student
of the Year
2020-2021
Saint George's Episcopal School
SUBMITTED
Lamar STARs
Ansley Kate Potter (right), a senior at St. George’s Episcopal School in Milner, was been
named countywide STAR Student for Lamar County. She and her STAR Teacher, John Hewitt
(right), were honored by the Kiwanis Club May 12. Potter received a $1000 scholarship from
the club.
Kiwanis has sponsored the local STAR program since 1970. A current Kiwanian, Al Adam
son, was the STAR Student in1986. Ryran Traylor heads up the program for the club.
Email news@barnes-
ville.com or call 770-358-
NEWS to have an event
published.
• Midway Baptist
Church, located at 158
City Pond Rd. will hold
Vacation Bible School on
Monday, June 7 through
Thursday, June 10 from
5:30 - 8 p.m. nightly. The
theme for the study is
Destination Dig... Un
earthing the truth about
Jesus.
• Midway Baptist
Church, 158 City Pond
Rd. will hold homecom
ing on Sunday, June 13
beginning with the 10:30
a.m. worship service fea
turing gospel singeing by
youth, adults and the en
tire congregation. Lunch
will immediately follow in
the fellowship hall.
• Barnesville First
United Methodist Church
invites you to worship
at 10 a.m. in the Sanc
tuary, no reservation
required, with overflow
in the Fellowship Hall.
Services are still offered
online Sunday mornings
streamed on YouTube
and on Zoom. Come early
or tune in early for the
pre-service music at 9:45
a.m. At 11 a.m. the wor
ship service is rebroad
cast on Facebook.
FLASHBACK
In honor of
Elizabeth Sellers
May 30-June 5
10 years ago
Legendary UGA wide
receiver Lindsey Scott
addressed the weekly
meeting of the Barnes
ville Rotary Club. Scott,
the hero of the 1979
Georgia-Florida Game,
was accompanied by
Robbie Burns, author of
the new book ‘Belue to
Scott’. Scott showed off
his 1980 National Cham
pionship ring.
25 years ago
Judge E. Byron Smith
addressed the county
commission about the
need for enhanced secu
rity at the courthouse.
Citing tense incidents
in other counties, Judge
Smith recommended
metal detectors at
entrances and a panic
alarm system.
50 years ago
Top students at Gor
don were named valedic
torian and salutatorian.
Military valedictorian
was Kenneth S. Jones,
son of Mrs. Emory Jones
and the late Mr. Jones of
Barnesville. Non-military
valedictorian was Pamela
Jane Robinson, daugh
ter of Mr. and Mrs. Ray
C. Robinson of Griffin.
Military salutatorian was
John McEachern, son
of Mr. and Mrs. John O.
McEachern of Brunswick.
Non-military salutatorian
was Lisa Frances Milam,
daughter of Mr. and Mrs.
Henry Milam of Barnes
ville.
100 years ago
Hon. Thomas E.
Watson, the great writer,
lecturer and statesman,
will deliver his lecture
’The South’ at Kennedy’s
Opera House in Barnes
ville on Friday evening.
The mere announcement
insures one of the largest
audiences ever assem
bled here, for Mr. Watson
is recognized as one of
the foremost men of his
day. Hundreds from this
city and environs are
expected to attend.
Zi)t 2|graft <£a)gttg
barnesville.com
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