Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page.

fflie ■ JHowfpincri] itlotnWs ft. ft, SPTIONT* Editor m! Prop'r. I mm BERMOiN. THE NEWSPAPER PRESS A> ALLY OF THE PI'LPIT. Text: ‘'Beh >id a living roll."—Zaebnriak v., 1. The winged slieot of (he text. lin 1 a proph ecy written on it. The flying nil of to-d iv is the newspaper. You can no more ignore it in calculating tho forces that affect society than you cal' ignore the r.o nday still <>r the Atlantic ocean. It is high t ime that I preach ft sCrnnjn appreciative of what the liewi;-". phr press has accomplished mi 1 ifareontplish ihg: NB mail livitlg Or dead hftibedn. or is gJ iiiiicbted to the fiewsp tpor pro s as myself because il has given me pei'i e inl audience ill every city, town and neiglibot h >od of Christendom,, aiid i publicly; in the presenco of ftbd and this aUdieueejSltpressniy thanks to editors-, publishers; ebrapd utors aii l type- Ftittrfs: and l give fair notice that I shall in evgry jtO slide way try to enlarge tit- field, hhetlier by stenographic report oil the Sab bath; or galley-prddf on Monday; or previous dictation. I .’long ago said t > tile officers of this church "Whoever else are crowded, do )k>i. (ilqwtl Die reporters.’ Every'intelligent end honest representative of the press who takes hit place in church, amounts to ten or fifteen other churches built on to this. Ninrty fivfe per cent: of the ne«spau3r.i arc my friends, ami do mo justice and more than justice; and the other live ofithe one, hull-lend are sucli notorious liars that' nobody believes . Ihcni, In self-d'fciicC, aud- sixteen ye in bed; I employed an oillcial stenograph >r Pi., ,my own because of tho appalling . misrepresentations of myself and church. But things have so miraca lou-ly changed that it is just ns appalling in the marvollous opportunity opened aril for Which lam grateful to Chid every d iv. The newspaoer is the great educator of tho ern tiiyy. It is boolr. pulpit, platform aid f- - uni all in one. Tue: eis not an :n crest — religious, scientific, commercial, agricultural, manufacturing, mechanical—but is with n its grasp. All our churches, s diools, art galleries, asylums and groat enterpriser reformatory, religious or secu ar—feel the quaking of tho printing press. The first newspaper arose in Italy, while Venice was at war with S flyman in Dalmatia. The paper was pub lished for the purpose of giving military and commercial information to the Vene tiaus. The newspaper arose in Englaudin 1588. Tho first paper was called the Mercury, and then there came the Weekly Dispatch, the English Discoverer, the Secret Owl , the ffevachnis Ilidens and so on, and ro on. In France the newspaper was tiis 1 roon in 158!, and was published by a physician for tho health and amu enient of his patients. Tho newspaper grew in trowel* until Napoleon I wrote with his own baud articles for it. and ill 1829 there were in the city of Paris 19b' journals. Th> newspaper press, however, has had its chief sway in this land. In 17K1 there was but thirty-seven journals on all the continent. Now there are l.'i.iKX) strong newspapers rolling out copies inthe year by the billions and billions. I ha-, o tic. difficulty in accounting for the world’s advance. Four centuries ago, in Germany, attorneys in court f< light with their fists as to wdiosh-ou'd have the firstca-e, and the judge decided for the f t -ongest fist and the stoutest arm, and if the judges's de cision was disputed then h 9 hint elf fought with both tho attorneys. Some jjf the lords and the wealthiest men of that day could not read the t ties to their own property. Why the change? Books, you say. No, sir; people do not read books. It is exceptional when men read books. Taka any promiscuous audience in this land, or in any land, and how many treatises on consti tutional laws have they read? how many books of science, how many tKicks in regard to navigation, in regard to geology, in regard to botany, in regard to any intiicate subject? How much have they heard of Bayle, of Xenophon, of Herodotus, of Percival? The people of the United States do not average reading one book a year to til 1 individual. How, then, do I account for the ( li'tugo and the fact that people are able to talk on all questions of science and art, nnl intelligence is everywhere ns the light, nnd men arc intelligent on all subjects? How do you account for it? Next to the Bible, the newspaper, swift-winged and everywhere present. Flying over the fence, shoved under the door, put on the work bench, tossed into the country room, hawkel through the cars. All read it. white, black, Herman, French. Italian, English, American, Swiss, well, sick, Monday morning, Saturday night, before breakfast, after tea. Sunday, week day. I declare that the newspaper printing press is to be the mighty agent by which the gospel is to be preach, d. crime ex tirpated, oppression dethroned, the world raised, heaven rejoiced, God glorified. To the clanking of the printing press, as the sheets tiy out, I h>nr the voice of the Lord Hod Almighty saying to the dead nations of the earth: ‘'Lazarus, come forth!'’ and to the retreating surges of •darkness: "Let there bo light!” How many of the newspapers of city and town during the past ten years have had mighty pleas in behalf of the Christian religion and have given some of the most effective interpreta tions of God's providence among the nations! There are only two kinds of newspapers. The good, the very good—the bad, the very bad. When a newsjaper starts it may for a while have no especial reputation either for virtuo or in'amy; but in a lit 1 la while people decide for themsolve), and they say, “it is good.” and it is good: and ‘it, is tad, ’ and it is bad. The one newspar er is the embodiment of news, it is the affy of virtue, it is the foe of crime, it is the del.- tui tion of elevated tad--, it is tile mightss* agency for saving the world. The oth?r i-t a brigand among moral forces.it is the le slimer of reput ition. it is the foe of all that is good, it is the mightiest agent of earth for battling ihe cause of God and driving back Christianity, if it could be driven back. The one influence is mi angel of light, the other influence is a fiend of darkrie s.and between that archangel and that furv is to !x* freight the battle that is to decide the destiny of the human race. The Armaggedde of nations is not to be fought- with swords but with steel pens, nut with bn'- let but with typ-, not with cannon but with lightning nerfe ting pr<- . and the Sumoters and the Moult!ios and the Gihraltars of that confli -t are to Ik? the edi torial and reportoiial rooms of our great newspaper establishments. Men of the press and men interest® 1 in its prosperity, up ri you come down the most tremendous respon sibilities of the earth. Men in all departments need to be good, and most of all, men of the press. Oh. bow great the change from the time when Peter Shoeffer invented cast-metal type, and because two books were alike tliev were pronounced to be the work of the devil —books were printed on strips of bamboo, and the Common Council of the city of New York solemnly voted the offer of forty pounds to any printer who would come and live there, and the Speaker of th- House of Commons indignantly denounced the print ing press because it had dared to notice their proceedings —on to this time in Which we live, when the printing press is wieldiog such » vast pow r for good or for evil. The te e eraph and the printing pire-s go down into the harve-f field an i the telegraph tavs to the printing press, ' 111 rake while you bind," and the telegraph puts its iron teeth down at oua end i'n , harvest ueld STrl" hivj* - 1}!? t dear a -ross and .1 lieu the inf.-rmatioll ” gathered up tu jhoavos. and .tin painting press puts one sheaf on the breakfast table, m the share of mornuig news, and puts an-dlier sheaf on the tea tible in the slYnp» < t rven'n ' news, and tiiai man Who neither (a!;es nor reads a newspaper is a curiosity Wlmt a vast change from the time when Cardinal Wools 1 v publicly declared that . liber 'lie pft«tittgpv“ss down or the ( hurt'll of God must.go it. ivi. %> ttfis ‘ijpt! when the pulpit and the priuting press are in coniliuntion. and wh'len minister of religion may on the Sabbath preach only tc about r»'Kl people, through the fol lowing week through tlio sen hr all! religious puss ho may i rea h ton tlli- ns and millions nnd millions. Cut, let me say to the meu of that profession, and t.!io,e who ale in auV wise allied to it, 1 ■v 11 aid like td pathy voi Have reclived dilring llie Cist twel'.e months for yotir inq firlnid work. Not ten. How many sermons in tho conrso of y< ur life have you henid of pra tical h il> fu n ss f ir the meu nnd tvonn n engaged In thatj ft t.hu'it • profession? Net one, How luanv words .of do .uneiatioH find imltappiv ban in i in I iivpeiviiticisni ail l anise havri you heard? Ten thousand; It ytvi area typesetter aud ytl i get the type iii tile wrong tout, then the foreman blow you ii;>. If vod nrd it foremaf and cannot, eiirmount (lie linsiirmountabl* and g t tilt forms up at 111 > right time, the! you are denounced by the publisher. If voi are are a publisher an 1 you mismanage, thci the owners cry oiit: “Where ax'e niy divi (lends?'’ If you are an editor aud In youi column anununen an unpopular sentiment then tcii thousand pens are flung at you. Are you n reporter, .then yen must under stand the guest indistinct speaker find must I ~1, 1 nldc.to write by gaslight after iiijduight ns well as in the full noonday sun. Are you a proofreader. I lieu comes down ou you the wrath of fvpeSetter and editor nnd owner ami pub psia1 !' if you do not properly arrango tho [ ono:ls nnd the semicolons and the exclama tion points an l the asterisks. Plenty of abuse but no sympathy. I hare for many •• ears 1 1 >od in positions when I have seem (ho while } ro ess going on, and I know all about the annoyances and the maltreatments and the sufferings, and I j ropo o this morn ing to declare them, praying Almighty God that a word of helpfulness may come to many who need the help, w hile I hope to im pre s the min Is of those outside the newspaper profession with certain facts t:iat wilt make them more lenient and kind iu your treatment of those inside of it. In the first pi tee, one of tho great trials of the newspaper profession comes from tho fact that more of the shams of the world pass before it than before any other profes sion. Every day through the newspaper of fice go all the weaknesses of the w orld. The vanities that wiuii to be puffed, the revenges that want to b > wreaked, tho mistakes that want to I e convcto 1, the men who wanttobe set right who never were right, the meanness, that, wants to get its wares announced in the editorial column to save tho expense of tho advertising column, the crack-b ainod phil osophers who go through with stories as long as their hair aud as gloomy as their fin ger nails in mourning because bereft of soap, and all tho long procession of boros who come to si»ffy five minutes anil stay an hour. It is a Wonder to mo that tho editors an 1 reporters of tho laud have any faith loft either in God, man or woman. Be fore no class of peaple on earth do so many of the shams and tha weaknesses of the world pass. When X find some of the u scepti cal I do not wonder at it. I wonder they believe in any thing. If the editor or reporter had not in Ids early home, or has not in his present home some model of earnestness of character, or unless he throws hinuelf upon the uphold ing grace of God, he will make temporal and everlasting shipwreck. Another trial of the newspaper profession comes from inadequate compensation. There is great rejoicing ever and anon in this land, because the price of newspapers lias gone down, from five cents to four, from four to three, from three to two, from two to one. There are men who would like to hove the price go down to half a ceiit. I never rejoi-e at such a time because it means hardship, penury, do mestic privation, starvation. You may not see where it strikes, but it strikes. No news paper in the land can afford to bo published at less than five cents a sheet. Through Ihe rivalries of newspapers it is necessary that prices conic down. but oh, what suffering it means, what hardship, w hat trial. Since the days of Hazlett aud Sheridan and John M il ton and the wail ,of Grub at London, liter acy toil has never been appreciated. Oliver Goldsmith, entertaining his friends, has to sit iu the win dow, because there is only one chair. Linnaeus has to sell his splendid work for one ducat. Be Foe, the author of 3IH volumes dies penniless. The learned Johnson ha t such shabby clothes that he could not dine with gentlemen, so he sat behind the screen and dined while the gentlemen on the other side the screen were applauding his works. Butler, after throwing the world into fits of laughter w ith “Hudibrai” died for lack of a crust. iSo it has always been. Manual tail seems to have a giitdga against literary toil, and it practically says: “You come down here and shove a plane and break cobblestones and pound the shoe last, and get an horiert living like the rest of us in stead of sitting there idly scribbling!” But God knows there is no harder toil on earth than literary toil. It is not a question es hard times; it is characteristic of all times. The world has no appreciation of the immense financial, physical, intelle dual exhaust on of literary toil, and so the world begrudges five cents and says: “Can’t yon make it four " an 1 then begrudges four and says: “Can’t you make it three?’’ and begrudges the three cents for a newspaper and says: “Can't you make it two?” anil grind an 1 grind nnd grind, and in that mill are ground up tho bodies and the minds and the souls of men and women. The world dips its chalice into tho blood and says: “Aha! the price of news papers has gone down.” While there are men in the newspaper profession who have made their fortunes. I tell you men anil women of America that to the most it is a straggle for bt tad. Let me say to ail such in the presence of an unappreciative world, von had better when you go home at night, wi-m and nervous "and exhausted, kneel down and commend your cage to God who has promised to Ira your God und the God of your children after you. Another trial of tie newspairer profession comes in the diseased appetite abroad for un healthy intelligence. We *-ry out against the murders and the scandals to which th : newspapers give prominence. Why do so many of the newspapers give prominence to such things? Because the public taste de mands them. Igo into a foreign city mi l into a meat market, and I find that the butchers have hung up on the most eonspi-u ous hooks, meat that is tainted, while the fresh and the savory meat is carelessly tossed asids. What am Ito conclude? 1 unmistak ably conclude that the peop’e of that citv love tainted meat. If there is so much iniquitous literature abroad in tle shape ot took and newspaper, it is be cause the public taste isso corrupt it daman Is it. Now. you are an honest < itizen, you are a goo-l citizen, you are an intelligent citizen, you are a man of family, a newspaper comes into your house, you open it; there are three cr l imns of splendid written editor.als, next to it there is a mean, contemptible divorce case. Which do you read the more thor o'lghly' Here at 1 - the splendidly written (d- MT. VERNON, MONTGOMERY < l O.. Tin USOA V, lftsr>. itorlaie evolving ticAittfttf rrttfrdl ssati meat, o’rq-om. M-L rV YWV'.J ; into it nnd s*' sptaprtwHy j" &£ Si ' o it »iiV‘i it” c i..ju . .••*»>’**' ! !V-'“.V.!l’ to the nonpareil .J f ‘ or*»". > - 11 ---I - wife if she has rea l it. It i> o;i.> 111 d 'man i aud sup I y. New-pap -r m-n iu not fixils. They know what you w 1 lit nn t they give It to you. If tho church of God, mid jf hotim able men of the world, would de i lme so i'ml Hw*. depraved book* nnd deprave l news]>:qx is tiiof f iUtld ,}*ot Ik> publishe 1, for the simple reason t; at ' ey would uot) ay, for iniquity gets poorer and poorer nnd i o >rer and cannot afford tosupp at literal lire It is the holiest men, the hard working men, the pure meu of the world that -upport, the literature. If a convention coni I be calls I now and made up of all the editor: hncl reporters of thn United States, and it were plainly put them, which kind of a paper rheysnould prefei tdi'tlblisl). (In 1 which style of news to s aid forth:! tliiuk they ilthtld uhan i mou sly tie -hire: “We would rather solid out elevating literature than bad literature. ” 1 say this not in apology for a debauched j tyowsiviprr, but I s»y it tluit you luuy Ih.n i\ j (lividua ivAJonsibßftnr M.\vwi\ who biiilt dint H'lid vVaa. Anothai 4 tffeAt teaiptd‘loa til > .pa per profesSioii romrd in tho rtllmvinunt> that sunouiM it. Every a viiputioti, irmle { pro fv44dn has ifaespecifil tb:nptit*ioiK it is so tvitil tbe cleH'.ul prdfe»tsion; vti|.h tin iihmli; nl pyroii-ssioii, v.ith tho tho artistic profo«ion. h ovoiy trade, every profession, every Imsiness. Jb ‘ iftnv; jiapor i»fofe|uon is no cxeeptid.i. Voil kuo*V there are great cli lifts on the nervous f<»rccs > . and the brain istixcd. The blundering po- ( litical sjiOv'eh must bo mat* tn rowl well for the sake of th j party , and th > biitdr,fti\d reporter must make it rend well tboutrli iilitto speech overv sentence was a catnstfqpjie to. the Euglidi IrtneUajr* Ihe newspaftcr ump must > correctly' report aW in audible speech, the sne'ch of h inau Who thinks it is vulgar tos]>oak loud, nltjhqdgh the aud encethe night before sat with,|mnd be hind the ear in vain struggling to catch n single s< ntenc\ . The journalist must be ex posed at the fln>, he must.write, in the fetal alleyway, he must go into courtrooiru nine-tenths of which are Btench ful with rum und tobacco, he inust go into heated assemblers and into audiema j rooms all unventilated and where ad the pre parations are for asphyxia, and added to all i there must be hasty ma t cation an I irregu lar habits. Under this awful strain of tin nervous system, how many hundrerls hayi cone to strong drink for relief God only knows. They must take something to keep out the wet, and something to keep out the chill, and something to start tho mind in tho morning after the scant sleep of tho night, j That Is what made Horace Greeley such a stout temperance man. Ho told me in my own house, “I have seen so many of my comrades nnd literary friends add heWs paper associates go down under strong drink I hardly dare look at it,” and so he went preaching temperance all over the land. And let me say to all men in that profession, Goa docs not want you to do anything that you cannot do without artificial stimulus. There is no half way ground for you between teo totalism and dissipation. I have so many literary friends, I ha 1 -o many literary i f iends who have been destroyed by strong fir ink—and romo of them are now on the down grade—that to-day I take the words of another and cry aloud: | “Look not upon the wine when it is red,when i it movoth itself aright in the cup, for at the last it biteth like a serpent, and it stingeth like an adder.” Another temptation of the newspaper pro fession is in the fact that no one seems to care for their soul. Tli *v feel it. They arc looked upon as professional in almost a>l assembla ges. It is not expected that a mart reporting a sermon should bo converted to Goa by that f-erinon, or an editor discussing a religious item of news in his editorial column should by that observation and discussion himself l»e saved. Oh, you say it is all professional. If you toll me that the men of the newgpajier press are not saved in multitudes, and all saved, then I say it is tho fau’t of the church j Df God: it is because you do not expect them jto come into tho kingdom. And then I re memlier how one night in this church, iu the fourth seat from tho platform, there sat a journalist. He had I>een sent to caricature the services. He came early. He looked around and ho saw that ihe shanc of the ouilding was not the usual shape of churches, and he caricatured that. After a while tho organ 1 egau its so’enm roll and 1 that was fun to him, and he caricatured that, t After a while the pastor appeared ou tho platform and he caricatured him. Then the music went, on and that was still more funny. After a while the text was announced and that was irresistible. And he was writing i un until the service was aboift half through, md he said his baud began to tremble, and (ia hardly knew why it tre nbled, and he said !o himself: “don’t l»e a coward; don’, h" as fected by anything in this church; you same here professionally.” He rallied his strength ana he concentred his energies and he wrote on until he could write no more, and jo put his iiencil in his pocket, put bis head down on the seat in front and began to pray, and when at the close of the service we asked all those who desired to be commended U> God in praver to m i e. be wax tho first one thataro-ie. Ouning into the side room be told us the whole story, nnd before the even ing was past ho declared himself on the Lord’s side, and ever since, though still in the newspaper profession, ever since on Sabbath afternoons he is preach ing the gospel of Jesus Christ in a hall hired at his own expense. And the day will come when the men of the newspaper profession will come into the kingdom of God by scores and by hundreds and by thousand*. The world will not be converted until they are converted. They feel the sale as < th'' none seems to care for t h? : r s mis. Many of them were brought up by fine ancestry, and when th*y left the parental roof, whoever regarded or disregarded,they went forth with a father’s benediction and a mother’s prayer. and oft times when they think of thos • good old times the tears fill the eye. and they go down in this great roaring metropolis home sick. and I say to any of taem who may hear me to-day and any to whom these words shall come, God is your friend. He has a heart large enough to take in ad your annoy - ances and all your misfortunes ami all your distresses. Sometimes utterly disgusted with the world, its shams and its trials, you know not which way to turn; but this day you may have the mercy, the pardon, the sympathy, the lydp °f Almighty God if you will ask for them. Hear it. Hear it. Horne years ago, at the foot of Canal street, jncw Vork, a iKxly was found floating. As it was being brought Vi the morgue tbeynotknl by the contour of the forehead that, th * rnau had grijat intellectual capacity. They found in his po *ket a reporier's pod, a lead pencil and a photogiaph of someone who long ago had loved him well. He had entire lth • news paper profession, things iia I gon* wrong wih hirn, his health had failed, he ha/i taken to artificial stimulants t > keep up. and he had gone down, down, dow.i until one summer day, hot and w **.**/ and hungry and Kick ami in despair, he flung hirnself from the dock. Death, as it often does, ftari smoothed out all th * wrinkles, and Km<x>the 1 off all the care from his face, and it was as it ha/1 been heven years t»efore when he ha/1 left the country home never to re turn. The heartless world looked through the window of the morgue and said. ft Is only an outcast:” but God km id: i “That ii a gigantic nature that perished ••SUB DEO FACTO FOIITITEii." i.. „.|<e thi world k'iivo turn no rtianre. • . l kiii to nil inett in I In- lien a|nq or nrofisdoil, ■ i- in n'nV “ I '“’ afiiod t) it, tii'in Got for your ,VJ-nV,i- A ot.oillv the p r onni ad- F'.t>7-"- ! but lnv»UMt 'To -void .'ll tr 'ti oiUKi? I'J . i». J'!—'- .-h'-iVb'J .'j.d .uvor, THuf ■d. \ lift.yow' li.'ind ir. on th o t iiilt' ;ii’ii( * -{if»i«n- mol nliiinufroptiy and piitriotiaitf. ; iin ttio |>' tr~ o' judqjo-'iil when you i ~>!< off upon tli3 ..’.'i.Mßtiifle* wUotn youi i ln.e inflii-'ni'-il, may ii i - " foimil 1 that, nmtiy thr nisli vo ir wmlf wore tndiioo4 to stiirt on till* pathway 'Hrtf lo:iJd to til ’ renown of t o non. B 'tier in ti.'lit (IA tv hay" lrt.nl nn editor in I with tinj-or of tyj ’ mfhi<*'H'rtt,!'t \' tit,; iil iltvl infill email it wrous. that, i V fi! ‘! un , gt*onod oxil' by the light of a vim. v* iron pjratcxl on scraps of Now T, staiuniit l r '' pii kod up from the hearth, h|hilli«l out tho story of Him who oaueto taknawav the sins r.f thn world, lu otornity Dives is the l)o;yt-nr. But wo will all * urn ho throneh with writing, i (.jK-d'ii'tg and jnili’.isli’ttfC, and in nil our pro fSisittiil) Wild (iiVupHtioin wo will all soon bn throtigh W lull tJtnil? Oils li r e is n book. Our years dro thd Chapters, our months are thn paragraphs, our davit (tie thn sentences, our imitation of others is the quo tation mark, our dould.s urn the interrogut ion point---, otir desire of display a da h. d nth a period, etei nitv the i prorat'.ou. And where Will we spend iti H ive you heard the news, tile tremendous news, news ino n thrilling aiiytliiilg that has come us in iji- jOiiriifils for tin past six weeks? Not th' sinkiitg of the Ortcrnn, but, the sinking of ri wmld. nut the" mUforttlm' of it inau, bi?t, the overthrow of ri nn 1 . Terrific news. But have ypti hoard th •go 11 nows! Giad news ffoni thn throne Os God. ’lint couriers of Heaven leaping rftfm III 1 pnlii-e pate to earry the news, the glorious ltews that there is |«irdon for all guilt nnd eon fort for ail trouble Sot it up in double l’a;led columns, and rtircv tit to the whole ,1 H -of. -h poet, insane on everything I'lif rcllgiotl, tt t'nte this Beautiful but strange rilytliiri: God hath piirdoiiixi iiil mv silt, Thill's tli that's the news, I feci the witlfess dee';) within; . That’s tile news; Hint,’s' flic liewri. An I sin's* lie t >ok my sins itu p.. And tSught nt l hii.v to’ wa'ch a i I pr i.“# I’m happy now frn.u il«.y to da} ; That’s t’se uaws, that’s the nows. An 1 now if anyone should r tty “What’s th 1 news? what’s t ie naw.-tf" Oh. tell him you've b 'gun to pray, That’s the news, that’s tilt news. Tliat, you have, joined th inonquerin ; ban I, jVinl now with joy at (rod’s command You’re marching to the letter land, That’s the news, that’s tho i ow-. Tilt l Horse in Ancient llislory. “Fine horse ynt’ve gat thore?” said .tones to a Kentuckian riding a beautiful ■ Bay stldd hf “Pretty fair lioss,” responded (lie Kca tuckian, with alTeeted IndilTeret e-. ‘ Tlmr ruglily trained as a saddle horse, too, ain’t lie?’’ “Know-all th" undines, lie docs.*’ , Wlul do you call him'?') ' “Tlieln-s? Tlmt’sodd. t never heard sucli a name for a horse before. Wliat do you i a 1 him tint’ for?” “be iiitH" lie lias a hundred gaits, of course. Id m’t. you know ancient his tory t" Merchant- Traveler. Shocking Had Taste! “My dear, don't you intend to invito Mr. and Mrs. Green to your party?” asked Mr. Hiller. “Certainly not.” “W hy not, my dear? They are good friends of ours.” “What if they are? I inn going to in vite Mr. and Mrs. Hrown.” “Well, can’t you invito the Gricr.sas well.” “Why, John Hiller, you rliock me with your taste. Brown and Ori on in my par lors together! Why, next you'll he a k iii" mu to wear blue and yellow. Ido (flare you men have no idea whatever of harmony." —Boston Times. A Slight Acquaintance. ,‘I)o you know Y( ung “The rich young fellow?” “The rieli one.” “No.” I “Why, I thought I heard him lmil you quite familiarly at the dub the other night late.” “Was hr. full?” “Yes.” “Ah! Well, I have fomc acquaintance with him. He doesn’t speak to me when he’s sober, and I don’t speak to him when he’s drunk.”— San Francisco Chronicle. A Careless Cook. Customer (to restaurant proprietor) “I find t! is piece of shoe string in niy sonp, sir.” Proprietor ‘ Slice stiing, sir?” (To waiter)—“Here, you, g<-l tnis gentleman another plate of oup and (ell the eook to strain if.” (To customer, apologeli- ally) ‘The look Ins ► t:ict orders to strain the soup sir, before serving, but some times she forgets, and then there is always dissatisfaction. "--New York Hun. For n Fact. “I tell ye the West don’t fool with folks,” observed a frontiersman, boa t jngly. “I’ve seed men killed out tlmr fur takin’ a pound o’ huffier meat.” •That’s nothing,” dryly remark'd ft bystander; “I lave seen men killed in the Ea t for taken even less than that.” “What uiought it a-hin, MUter (’ufc, if you’ll excuse my imper’tucncc fur askin’?" continued Bu' kskin, sneering!)'. Half aa ounce of laudanum.” TuL- Bitx. With Mint Kniics. De Jones-- “Say, have you he ird the lews? Snifkin is going to marry Mbs Lamb, the wealthy butcher’s daughter.” Podgis in “No, you don’t meun it!” That animated porposie? I)e Joaes “Fad, I assure you. I heard i’ Him morning.” Podgeson -“Well,one thing will make this lamb | abatable.” I’e Jones “What’s that?” Podge-on .“Mint sauce," Chicago Rambh r. A Mum Will PS A BEAK Despernto Combat In tt Penn sylvania Forest. The Muie bhi!' R>» Heel* ITnou Bruin Wkb Intel r"”G>»'oa. t ie'enl letter from’ ft'runto • i 1 “u • i to the New Vori Fit 1 * 1 nv. Ik- Garve.' | nml Eph Dtmhiim, brawny 1 of the upper Lehigh timber region, tore* a Iriiirl tff ttHiles last Batunlay and begun to df*l' > > 'uilrimV? ties from the woods old to the muni '“Ail Along iff flic after noon they let the nii/le>? stand id flic wood road, while they went illic’riw iii ei-il down a lot of saplings. Presently tliey saw a black bear tramping through the snoW lit the rear of the sleigh. When the bear reached flip sleigll he turned to the right, walked past l(, ftbd sniffed at tho heels of the old mule. The untie who appeared to he sleeping when the hear waddled up, stuck up his ears at once, raised his right hind foot like a flush, nnd gave the hear a terrible kick in the neck. The bear tumbled over in the snow par tially stunned by tho blow, the sharp calks of the mule’s shoe having cut and bruised the flesh dirc'-tly behind the enr. Dunham and Garvey laughed heartily at the mule’s peculiar conduct, for lie had always been a very docile animal, and ran down to tho team at once. Meantime the bear had recovered from the kick and got, on his feet again, and tv as looking around to see where lie was n/td to find out what had hit him. The nude turned his head and got a glimpse of the bear jitsl ns Dunham and Garvey canto down to tho sleigh. The sight t seemed to enrage tile limit, for he instant ly became restless. Hr reared up, piling cd forward, and tried to yank himself away from bis mate. Every motion indi cated that he wanted t. be let loose on the bear. “Hay we unharness him an’ let. hint fight tho hear if lie wants to,” remarked Garvey, “All right.,” said Dunham; “we’ll do it." Dunhjm tip'll jumped t-.i lie head and unsnnppod the lilies, In an other second the humc strap and the be!- i lybaud were unbuckled, and the mule ! slipped from under the harness with noth ing on exeepj the headstall and collar. Then the mule turned straight around nnd made for the hear with all his might. 110 lunged forward with so much force and speed that he went right over the i bear’s hack before lie stopped. Tint bear did not attempt to get away, but stood upon bis haunches and was ready to fight as soon ns the mule turned upon him. The mule struck at the Imar savagely with both forward feet, but the bear dodged and thus escaped the blow, Then the bear rushed at the mule, uttering a grunt of anger as lie did so, and tried to strike him in the breast. The mule, how ever, showed more anger and grit than tho bear did, and, as the latter came to ward him, he struck the bear on th shoulder with one of his sharp calks, and the bear groaning with pain from the blow, backed away. The mule quickly followed up the advantage he had gained, and the bear tumbled backward over a log, making the snow fly. Thn mule leaped over the log and struck the bear on the back with both fore feet before be had time to get up, but he paid dearly for it, for the hear twisted his head around and got the mule’s right foreleg between his ,jaws and bit it badly. Dunham and Garvey, who had the ut most confidence, in the mule’s ability to conquer the hear, kept at a safe distance and watched the fight closely. While the bear was try ing to crush the bone in the mule's leg, the mule hit the bear’s car and made ti c blood run. A moment later the mule succeeded in yanking his leg from the bear’s jaws, pranced around in th • snow after he had done so, and ap peared to be madder than ever. Tlicu the two infuriated animals came together again. As the mule raised his front feet to strike, the bear sprang under his body, knocked his bind legs from under him, and tumbled him over on his side. The rnule scrambled to his feet in a second, rushed up to the bear, and gave him such a tremendous thump on the nose that it made the In ar stagger and roar. He was not yet ready to retire fr,n: the conflict, though, and as lie made another effort to strike the mule the blood spurted from Ids nostrils. He stuck his nose into the snow arid groaned loudly, and the mule stood off a few feet and eyed him steadily. Presently the bear raised his head and plunged at his antagonist again. The mule wheeled suddenly as the bear approached him, and, turning his tail toward the bear, kicked him in the jaw with one of his hind feet and kieted him over on ids back. Ho fore he could get on ids feet again the mule had Itogun to stamp on hirn with his sharp calks. The I bcur struggled dcsjK-rately 'to get away VOL. I. NO. 11. from the terrible r>lov>» which hla ton)?' tnrod antagonist dcnll him, but his efforts were useless. The bear was getting weaker ami weaker, ami, when Dunham sod Garvey ran to the spot anfl elubbeil the rmiie elf, was unable to rise and wa< moaning piteously. Harvey at once hit (hi! hear on the tcvp of the head will the hack of his axe, ;?*td put an end ti; his sufferings. Hi rniijrloil by mi Oetopn*. Alt \mcri.uu tra, lling in Kurope a hunt toi icS-rs ago observed in !1 ’ ‘ irn\ est assemblies of iris and \ ierina, ami in the gambling halls at Monaco, .Mr. (I , one of his fellow-country men,a scholarly, grave man, whoso tastes and pursuits in life, as also his work, lay wholly in study and research. “What can bring him night after night to such places? lie looks utterly wretch ed, ” the s[ ranger asked of an American official, '‘lie is the victim of an octopus'," was the jesting reply. “Ilia wife is omr of those soft, clinging, absolutely selfish creatures, who wrap themselves about a man’s life, and bend it to their will, still ing it and drawing all the strength out of bis soul, precisely as the devil-fish would out of his body. Mrs. C chooses to live a fast, dissipated life, and she forces her husband to indulge her in it hi her incessant carowos and protesta tions of affection.” A year later Mr. (' —• became a bank rupt, and soon after lost his reason, and after a few ‘months he died. American correspondents writing homo stated that the cause was unknown, as his donuMtic relations were most lmppy. Hut those who knew him best, said that lie laid been “stifled by an octopus." Lnvator declared that each human face boro a likeness to some animal, and also indexed the character; thus that we found in some men the features and qual ities of the lion, the mastiff, or the wolf; and 111 some women those of the rabbit, the, dove, the cow, or the serpent. If we follow out this whimsical fancy, we may class many human beings with the clammy, bloodless octopus. They are usually men or, more often, women of weak intellects and indomitable will, who invariably consider their own comfort or wishes firs! in life, and who liave found wheedling by gentle nnimiers and caress es the surest way to success.— Youth'* Companion. Presence of Mind. While traveling in Jtussia, Peter the Great, had to take, refuge in a monastery from the inclemency of the weather. Tho monks received him witli the greatest hu mility and deference, und prepared a ban quet for him. One of the young monks presented the mannreh with a large glass goblet of wine The young niouk stumbled, the goblet fell to the floor mid was shattered into a thousand pieces beyond the hopes of re pair, while most of the stomnchie distur ber went down the hack of Peter’s neck. Furious with rage, Peter the Great sprang to his feet and raised his whip, without which he never went out, and was about, to flagellate the monk several consecutive times. The monk, however, folding his arms with dignity, ad dressed the chair as follows: “.My lord and e/.ar, not drop by drop, but in a per fect gush are God's precious gifts poured over tlice. May all thy enemies come to grief even as this glass has been shattered to pieces.” I’ctcr the Great was disarmed. Instead if laying the goad on the monk’s back, hr made a motion to lay it on the table, which was carried unanimously. He also, appointed the young monk Arehiman dritten of Patscherky, which was the least he could do under the circumstan ces. This is historical. We arc giving it straight to the American public, but always reserve to ourselves the right of putting it into our own language. Tuu < Siftin'/*. A Street Car tit Sea. There is a lawyer in Boston who is in the habit at times of addressing individ ual jurymen when inattentive or restless, and sometimes his nrguincntem ad homi nem is affective. Home time ago he was trying a ease against a rtreet railway company, and there was an old sailor on the jury who seemed to give no heed to what cither counsel said. The lawyer made liis most eloquent appeals, hut all in vain. Finally he stopped in front of the sailor and said: “.Mr. Juryman, l will tell you just how it happened. The pluntiff wai in command of the outward-bound open ear, and stood in her starboard channels. Along came the inward-bound close cat | and just as their bows rnct she jumped 1 die track, sheered to port, and knocked the plaintiff off and ran over him.” Tin I sailor was all attention after this versioi I of the affair, ami joined in a $15,000 vep diet for the injured man.