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WIT AM) HUMOR.
A patent-medicine advertisement
speaks of "the liver failing to act.”
We suspect the manager cut down its
salary. When the iiver refuses to act,
the drama of “Life” can’t go on very
successfully. Norristown lie. raid.
“Doctor,” said the grateful patient,
seizing the physician's hand, “I shall
never forget that to you I owe my life."
“You exaggerate,” said the doctor,
mildly, “you only owe me for llfleen
visits; that is the point which I hope
you will not fail to remember.”
Telephones have been placed in the
halls of the Idaho Legislature. It
saves the necessity of sending out the
sergeant-at-arms to bring in the absent
mem tiers. They can now play poker
in the committee rooms till the very
moment of calling the yeas and nays.
“What is economy?" asks the Phila
delphia North American. We’ll tell
you. It is paying 10 cents for a cigar,
and compelling your wife to turn her
last season’s dress to make it dofor an
other winter. The country is fairly
bulging with such economy. Norris
town Herald.
“Does the shining steel blade which
1 hold in my hand cause excruciating
pain?” inquired an Oil City barber.
“What?” "1 asked if the razor hurt
you.” “is it a razor?” “Os course it
is. Why?” “1 thought it was a saw,
but if you are sure it is a razor go
ahead.”— (HI City blizzard.
They reproach an aged millionaire
with his miserly practices. “Here you
are, a wealthy man, ami yd you put
out your ash-barrel every day with
vour own hands, to save a few miser
able sous!” “You are right; it is hard
ly the thing for a man in my position
to do. Hereafter I’ll make my wife do
it. Carts Caper.
They were talking over an aged
millionaire who had on several occa
sions given his heirs high hopes high
hopes always dashed by his recovery,
“furious how long the old man lasts!”
says somebody, reflectively; “especially
when you consider that for the last ten
years he has had one foot in the grave.”
“Yes; but then, you see, every now and
then ho changes the foot! ’ French
Wit.
A slim youth, accompanied by a pug
dog and chain attachment, met a young
lady on Fifth avenue whom he knew.
He walked by her sido until her resid
ence was gained, when she invited him
in. “Aw -thawuks awfully; much
ploased, I’m suah,” he said; “bu -er
the dog, y’ know—” “Oh, the dog
won’t make the slightest difference.
Dear little fellow! Mamma will bo
glad to see you both.” New York bun.
The lady of the house was a hand
some woman of a mature order of
beauty, and when she had completed
her toilet she gazed fondly at herself in
the glass, and remarked to her new
maid: “You’d give a good deal to be
as good looking as I am, wouldn’t you,
now?” “Yes’in; almost as much as
you would give to be as young as
1 am.” It is not believed that this
epigrammatic young woman will bo
chosen again at the expiration of her
present term. — Paris Caper.
“Look hero!" called a man, pressing
his face against the grates of the city
prison, and addressing a policeman
who stood outside. “Well? ’ “What
was 1 put in here for,anywayP"“ You’ll
find out when the Police Court meets.”
“Podner, I am a very sensitive man,
and the thought that I have committed
a crime haunts me. I just tell you
what's a fact, 1 can’t stand it. \\ hat
did 1 do?” “Well, if you must know,
you got drunk and shot a man.” “Oh,
is that all? 1 was afraid that I had in
sulted some one. Much obliged.”—
Arkansaw Traveler.
How dear to my heart is a sack made
of seal skin. A garment adapted to
keep out the cold! "I'is not liko the
jersey, that fits like an eelskiu; ’Tis
loose, graceful, easy and fair to behold.
How smooth and how glossy! Its
beauty enchants me; what garment so
lovely when worn by a belle Both
waking and sleeping its poetry haunts
me; The sack made of sealskin that tits
me so well. The sack made of sealskin
-of smooth, glossy sealskin. The
beautiful sealskin that tits me so well.
Cowell Courier.
“What a incomprehensible Mirandy’s
got to la' senoo she went to thur
Vademy,” remarked Mrs. Homespun
to her husband. “W’y, wot’s the gal
boon doin’ now P" asked Daniel.
“Doin’!” exclaimed Mrs. Homespun,
“w’ll.she said she must go to her room
to disrobe, as she wished to retire
early." “Disrobe and retire?" mur
mured Daniel, "wot's them, ma?” "1
dunno,” replied ma: “but she didn't do
nothin’ o' the sort. She only undressed
and went to lasl. Did ye ever hear o’
sieh p’evarication?” Creshylertitnban
ner.
“College boys are no respecters of
persons," said a gentleman who lives
at Princeton yesterday. “When Pres
ident Arthur took his son Allan to
Princeton the Chief Magistrate was
called on by the laiys for a speech. He
responded, and in conclusion remarked
with a great deal of feeling that he was
about to eoutide to their care what w as
to him the dearest thing on earth. Tho
words were scarcely out of his mouth
when one of the youths rose and sung
out in stentorian tones: ‘Three cheers
for the thing.’” I'hilailelphia lYcss.
"Now. Maria.” remarked Simpkins,
as he pulled oft" his hoots last evening,
"times is gittin’ durned hard, an’ we’ve
got to economize. 1 guess you’d better
try and git along without that new
black dress you was talkin' about, and
fix over your last winter's hat. I guess
you can worry along that way all
right. We’ve got to tix it some how or
otner to cut down expenses, or l don't
see how I'm to buy cigars, an’ as for
whisky, why. 1 dou’t get more' n four
or live drinks a day as it is. Kciucm
ber, Maria, economy is wealth.”—l>»»
CVy Blizzard.
Senator Coggeshall, of Watertown,
who has just returned from Florida,
carries off the palm in the tish stories.
“I went out fishing on Balder Creek.”
he says, “the night after I arrived ii
Florida. We put a big light on tho
bow of the boat and paddled slowly
down stream. You may hang me if
the fish didn't crowd up to that light so
thick that some of them had to jump
out of water to find room in which to
move. Knough jumped into the boat
tu maku a cood breakfast.’’ Senator
Lansing, who heard Ibis tale, said tho
fish were probably like men who would
believe the story—suckers. Gath.
“Have you ever seen that train of
white cars that makes the fast mail
train from Chicago?' said the engineer,
as he munched a sandwich at the rest
ing place. “No? Well, it’s slicker
than a square yard of lightning, and it
goes full pitch out of Chicago every
morning at .‘5 o’clock. In my opinion
it's about the fastest thing in this coun
try. Well, one of the mail clerks in
vited his wife down to see the train
•tart;tbe conductor shouted'all aboard,’
ami the clerk leaned over to kiss his
wife, who was standing on the plat
form, and bless me if he didn t kiss a
cow out at Riverside. Now, that's
what I call fast railroading.’’— New
York bun.
An amusing incident occurred recent
ly in a church in the west of London.
One of the church wardens was ob
served to cast uneasy glances toward an
individual wearing a sailor jacket and
cap of a sea faring and jaunty appear
ance, which latter surmounted a clean
shaven face and closely cut hair. After
a little while the church warden ap
proached the sailor laddie, and whis
pered audibly, “Can't you take off your
hat? Is there any reason why you
can’t take off your hat?” By the dis
comfited look of the questioner as he
returned to his seat, and the appear
ance of the rest of the costume as the
wearer of the hat walked out of tho
church at the conclusion of the service,
it was evident that the whispered reply
was, “1 am a girl!”— Every Other
Saturday.
The* Fair of* l/.amal.
On the Bth of December the festival
of Our Lady of Izamal is celebrated
with great pomp. A large fair is also
held in the city during those days.in
her honor. Even merchants from
neighboring states flock there, if not to
kneel at the shrine of the Virgin, to
worship at the altar of Mercury. Dev
otees on those occasions crowd the pri
vate apartment of the doll, which is al
so carried in solemn procession, deck
ed in gorgeous array, and followed by
a long train of worshipers.
After church service is over, all leave
in a hurry and rush to the bull-fight.
Many of the Indians, who know abso
lutely nothing about tauromachy, enter
the ring to fight the bull, exposing
themselves to be injured for life, or die
a painful death. In this we see an an
cient custom yet prevalent. The an
cients sacrificed their lives to deities
for any benefit received. To-day an
Indian begs a favorite of his patron
saint, and as a proof of his deep grati
tude promises to fight a bull, keep
drunk a certain number of days, or do
some other rash thing.
Bull-fighting in Yucatan is not like
bull-lighting in Spain. The ring is a
double palisade sustaining sheds cover
ed with palm leaves, that are divided
into boxes. Every one provides his
own seat. The best and the worst, big
and small all attend the bull-fight.
Those who, on foot, merely play with
the bull, only have a henequen sack to
serve as shield. Others, also on foot,
are provided with poles about three
feet long, having a sharp iron head,
like that of an arrow, called rejon.
When the people are tired of seeing
the bull played with, they call for the
rejoneros. Those with the spears de
scribed then come forward. Their bus
iness is to strike the bull in the nape
and kill it, but it is seldom done at
once. The beast is chased by two or
three men, blow after blow is dealt, the
blood gushing afresh each time. The
first pain makes the animal furious, but
the loss of blood soon weakens it, and
it becomes almost harmless. Then the
horsemen are called on to lasso it and
drag it away. While another bull is
being fetched rockets are fired, the
people applaud, the band plays,a clown
meanwhile doing his best to amuse the
spectators. If a bull is disinclined to
light they gird his body with ropes in
every possible way, fastening tire-crack
ers about his head and tail. Aggra
vated and tortured, the poor boast
jumps about, and the crackers explode,
to the great delight of all present, big
and small. This renders it furious for
n few minutes; but if it again refuses to
light it is taken away as a coward not
worth killing Aide l>. le liongeoy, in
Harper's Magazine for Feb.
Sweet Sixteen Out of Style.
The reign of very young girls over
the heart of man is ended. “Sweet
sixteen" is insipid, "fascinating eight
een" tame. At twenty-five the young
lady of the present day may be said to
be interesting, at thirty she is charm
ing. and at thirty-three fascinating.
Hut it is not until the woman gets well
into the forties that she reaches tho an
gelic period where temper no longer
wields the mastery,and mature thought
smooths out the rugged outlines of her
mental life. If she understands the art
of self-preservation she may also retain
at this age the better part of her physi
cal charms, and la* pretty in spite of
her years. Ninon de L'Euelos was re
garded as a belle and a beauty at sixty,
and care and discretion are oulv neces
sary to carry the beauty of youth far
into mature life.
Another custom is coming into vogue
which must lend hope to many a spin
ster and widow of uncertain age. and
that is the fashion of women marrying
men younger than themselves. Ver
haps this can hardly be called a novel
innovation, however, for it has been
practiced in the older countries for
many years, and in Ireland has long
been the custom. Dr. Johnson married
a woman old enough to be his mother;
Disraeli was many years his wife’s jun
ior, and Aaron Burr married a widow
several years older than himself. The
famous Mine, de Stael was forty-four
w hen she picked up a young officer of
twenty or so.and Kachel married Vern
hagen von Ease when she was over for
ty and he in the twenties. All of these
were happy marriages, and Miss
Thackeray, Mrs. t'raik and Margaret
Fuller seemed to believe in such unions,
for they each chose comparative young
sters for matrimonial mates. Modern
and ancient unions of this kind have
proved lucky uuious. and, as some of
the latter have given a sort of tone and
fashion to the custom, we may look
for a tide in that direction. If it be
comes the fashion for women to choose
husbands younger than themselves old
fashioned folks may preach against it
in vain. - London Echo.
The Oecltne of the Oyster.
The United States Commisssoner of
Fish and Fisheries has in his recent re
port called the attention of Congress
to the decline of the oyster. Beds
which formerly produced forty-one
bushels to the acre now produce but
twenty-five bushels. Around New
York sludge acid, too, is doing deadly
work among the bivalves, and what
with reckless depletion of the beds, and
corruption of the food supply, a gloomy
prospect is held out. This is a serious
question. At present we consume 5,-
600,000 oysters annually. There is no
doubt about the number, for Professor
Baird and Lieutenant Winslow have
counted them: and the connection of
this vast mass of succulent bivalves
with the prosperity, the material and
moral health and progress of the coun
try can not be insisted upon too strong
ly. How closely the oyster is inter
twined with all our deepest and holiest
feelings; how indispensible it is to the
proper carrying on of our politics, our
commerce, our church festivals and
our love-making, perhaps will never
l>e clearly perceived until we have lost
this intimate and most dear friend; un
til the face of the laud is darkened and
the gayety of the Nation is eclipsed by
the removal of the familiar and übiq
uitous sign boards which to-day carry
cheer to this heart of the gloomiest by
their announcement of “Oysters ia
Every Style.”
For what would America be without
the oyster? A shudder would pass
from Maine to Florida, from the At
lantic to the sun kissed shores of the
Pacific, at this thought. Deprived of
her favorite dainty, New York would
be a “City of Dreadful Night.” Sixth
avenue and Fourteenth street would
echo no more with the shouts of the
reveler. Tho burden of sustaining that
region of nocturnal festivity would fall
upon the clam, and he would sink un
der it, and perish amid the scorn of
those whose digestive organs he had
insulted by the offer of so inadequate
and inelastic a substitution. Nor
have we to evolve these alarming con
clusions from our imagination. The
sad experience of a sister nation con
firms but too strongly our darkest ap
prehensions. A few years ago aDd the
drum beat of England was as übiquit
ous as the tin horn of New Year’s Day;
her flag was upon every sea; her com
merce was in every market; her pickles,
pale ale and globe-trollers were thick
as leaves in Vallombrosa; her diplom
acy was successful; her colonies wero
contented; her policy, at home and
abroad, was admired and respected.
But there came a day when her oys
ter beds no longer yielded as before.
First there was an oyster famine; then
the oyster ceased to be accessible to the
masses. And so the decadence of Eng
land dated from that dreadful day.
Since the disappearance of the oyster
nothing has gone right. We have all
marked the rapid decline of that great
power. It is no wonder that the Brit
ish press should have hailed the new
year dejectedly. But while some as
cribe the unhappy state of things to
(iladstone, and some to free trade, and
some to other causes, it is clear to tho
unbiased observer that the oyster is
at the bottom of all the trouble. And
with this example and warning before
us it behooves Congress to take prompt
ami adequate measures for the rehabil
itation of our noble bivalve, and to
guard zealously against the threatened
extinction, which must involve in its
consummation the disappearance of
all that makes life worth living.— New
York Tribune.
An Australian Intoxicant.
Their own stimulant, kave, they con
tinue to use in great quantities, ard
many of the Europeans have contract
ed a liking for it. All the Wairara
pans have a taste for it. and marvel
that any white than can acquire a pen
chant for such stuff'. Its flavor resem
bles soap suds more than anything else
one can compare it with. The root
used is botanically Known as that of toe
piper methistieum ; it is hard and
woody, hence the object of the chewing
which liberates the juices of the root
more freely than any otlxer process.
Europeans grate the root and pound it
but admit that the liquor is not
equal to the chewed. In Samoa the
preparation of the kava bowl is attend
ed with great ceremony, only the
young unmarried girls being allowed to
chew it. The root is cut up into lino
pieces, and the girls, who are diiected
by the prettiest of them, first rinse
their mouths, take up a piece, and
when sufficiently masticated and form
ed into a ball, spit it into x bowl. Th
chief girl then calls for water, and a*
ter washing her hands, directs one of
her companions to pour on the wa*:r
while she stirs the root with he- hand.
When enough water is in, and the ball*
are properly mixed with the- ingredi
ents, she takes up a strainer mad. of
fibers of the hibiscus, and passes it from
side to side of the bowl. When the
strainer is saturated she lifts it high
above the bowl and squeezes the bails
through the strainer in her hand. This
is continued until the kava bowl i>
ready. It is contended by some of tho
Europeans who use chewed root that
the mastication is perfectly dry and is
a more crushing process, but of course
an amount of saliva must get incorpo
rated in the process. The medicinal
property's of kava are tonic and ner
vous sedative, and it is to these effects
and uot to its flavor that the taste for
the driuk arises.— Melbourne Leader.
Church Manners.
While we are upon this subject, we
wish to call attention to two matters
in which the majority of congregations
might easily improve their manners
and add to the impressiveness of the
services. It is a common habit when
the audience are to stand during the
singing of a hymn, to wait until the
first line is begun, and then ruin the
verse by the confusion of the rising.
Again, during the latter part of the
last verse the clattering of Books into
the pew-racks before the clo-e of the
song is a serious interference with all
devotional effect, and especially so
when that opportunity is seized for the
putting on of wraps, rubbers, etc. No
one would do this during the closing
sentences of a prayer; why should it be
done during the ascription of praise to
Cod? Hundreds, yea, thousands of
Christian people thus thoughtlessly
mar the soug worship in the sanctuary.
—Musical Herald.
A Scientific IJoy.
Sir David Brewster was born at Jed
burgh. Scotland. December 11, 1871.
His father was rector of the grammar
school. and a teacher of considerable
reputation, whom neighborhood fame
characterized as “the best Latin
schola and the quickest temper in
Scotia 1;” but he was kindly withal.
It was intended that David should be
come a minister, and he was sent to
the University of Edinburgh, to be edu
cated with a view to that profession,
when only twelve years old. His tastes
had, however, even before this time,
turned into another direction. It is re
corded of his earlier school-days that
though he was never seen to pore over
his books like the other boys, he al
ways had his lessons, kept a prominent
place in his classes, and was frequently
applied to by his fellow-pupils for as
sistance. And it was in the days of his
childhood “that a dilapidated pane of
glass in an upper window of his father's
house produced the inquiring thoughts
which led him afterward to search into
the mysteries of refracted light.”
He * had become acquainted with
James Veitch. of Inehbonny, half a
mile from Jedburgh, whom Sir Walter
Scott has mentioned as a “self-taught
philosopher, astronomer and mathema
tician.” Veitch was a plow-maker by
trade, but was well versed in astro
nomical calculations and observations,
having been the first discoverer of the
great comet of 1811, and was in his
most congenial pursuit when he was
making telescopes, a work to which he
brought much mechanical skill and sci
entific accuracy. His “scientific work
shop,” on the Jedburgh turnpike, “be
came a gathering-place for all the
young men of intelligence in the neigh
borhood, most of them being in train
ing for the ministry, for medicine, and
otfier liberal pursuits. They had les
sons in mathematics and mechanics,
but especially in the favorite science
of astronomy. The telescopes were
tested in the day-time by the eyes of
the birds perching on the topmost
branches of the ‘King of the \\ ood,’ a
noble relic of the past forest days,
about half a mile from Inehbonny.
When the bright sparkle of the bird’s
eye was distinctly visible by day,
Veitch’s specula and lenses were con
sidered fit to show the glories of the
sky by night.” David “was the very
youngest, ’ says his daughter, Mrs.
Gordon, from whose book we borrow
our anecdotes, "of the quaint aud va
ried group. When he began his visits
I do not know T , but we find that at the
age of ten he finished the construction
of a telescope at Inehbonny, which had
engaged his attention at a very early
period, and at which he worked inde
fatigably, visiting the workshop daily,
and often remaining until the dark
hours of midnight to see the starry
wonders and test the power of the
telescopes they had been making.—
From “Sketch of Sir David Brewster ,”
in Popular Science Monthly for Feb
ruary.
I*anic-Btricken Troops at Shiloh.
From General Grant’s illustrated ac
count of the Battle of Shiloh in theFeb
ruar Century we quote the following:
“The nature of this battle was such
that cavalry could not be used in front;
I therefore formed ours into line, in
rear, to stop stragglers, of whom there
were many. When there would be
enough of them to make a show, and
after they had recovered from their
fright, they would be sent to reenforce
some part of the line which needed
support, without regard to their
companies, regiments, or brigade.
“On one occasion during the day,
I rode back as far as the river and met
General Buell, who had just arrived; I
do not remember the hour of the day,
but at that time there probably were as
many as four or five thousand strag
flers lying under cover of the river
luff, panic-stricken, most of whom
would have been shot where they lay,
without resistance, before they would
have taken muskets and marched to
the front to protect themselves. The
meeting between General Buell and
myself was on board the dispatch-boat
used to run between the landing and
Savanna. It was but brief, and related
specially to his getting his troops over
the river. As we left the boat togeth
er, Buell’s attention was attracted by
the men lying under cover of the river
bank. I saw him berating them and
trying to shame them into joining their
regiments. He even threatened them
with shells from the gun-boats near by.
But it was all to no effect. Most of
these men afterward proved themselves
as gallant as any of those who saved
the battle from which they had desert
ed. I have no doubt that this sight
impressed General Buell with the idea
that a line of retreat would be a good
thing just then. If he had come in by
the front instead of through the strag
glers in the rear, he would have
thought and felt differently. Could he
have come through the Confederate
rear, he would have witnessed there a
scene similar to that at our own. The
distant rear of an army engaged in
battle is not the best place from which
to judge correctly what is going on in,
frout. In fact, later in the war, while
occupying the country between the
Tennessee and the Mississippi. I learned
that the panic in the Confederate lines
had not differed much from that within
our own. Some of the- country people
estimated the stragglers from John
ston’s army as high as 20,000. Os
course, this was an exaggeration.”
Plantation Philosophy.
De man whut ken ask de most ques
tions ken answer de fewest.
l)e pusson whut is de last ter laugh
wider joy is de soonest ter groan wid
er sorrow.
Ter some pussons slander is naehul.
De hog would rather waller in de mud
den ter lie down in clean water.
I doan b'lebe dar eber wuz er man
whut didn't sorter dodge the truth at
some time durin’ his life. Ez fur my
se'f. I’se told many a tale whut I knowd
wa'n't so. When I wuz er boy, er lie
come so naehul dat when I got ter be
a man. 1 couldn't altogether break off
de habit. Yer’ll fin - many er man
whut‘ll say dat he neber tole er lie,
an' ver may say so at de same time,
but bof o' yer knows dat ye air a
couple o’ liars. Doan talk ter me 'bout
dis heah human nature, fur I'se er
chile o'de :a ne school mvse'f.— Opi«
P. Bead.
.Japanese Food.
Lifting the little saucer-shaped lac
quer cover from the soup, aud taking
advantage of the concession to Euro
pean prejudices the Commissioners
have made in providing spoons, instead
of obliging him to drink his soup like
tea from the bowl, the adventurous
diner-out will find that he has before
him a savory compound called on the
card misoshiru. This is made, as the
root-word denotes, from miso, a fer
mented mixture of soy, beans, wheat
and salt. Having disposed of this, he
will then, if his appetite is good and
his taste gastronomically catholic, at
tack with pleasurable surprise the
manj' little plats on his tray. \\ ith
these he will wisely play, turning for
relief from the white sweetened haricot
beans mixed with kawatake (a kind of
mushroom grown in the shadows of
rocky bowlders), and the delicious lob
ster pudding or cold omelette and oth
er trifles included under the head of
kuchitori, to the hachimono, which
may happen to be a piece of plump sole
stewed in soy. Then for a change he
may, with a pair of wooden chopsticks
which are laid before him on a bamboo
tray, divert himself with trying to pick
out of a small china cup, made without
a handle, the brown soy-colored beans
and strips of kikurage, or ear-shaped
mushrooms.
Boiled rice is served in a separate
bowl. Another substantial dish, wan
mori, consists of meat or fish and vege
tables, possibly, for instance, a piece of
fresh salmon and a slice of vegetable
marrow with pieces of a soaked fu, a
kind of biscuit made from the gluti
nous part of wheat flour. The gravy
in which these pieces de resistance are
floating is thickened with a transparent
starchy substance, obtained from the
root of a climbing plant (Pueraria
Thunbergiana), called by the Japanese
kuzii. For salad there are thin Slices of
cucumber flavored with scraped shreds
of dried bonito, a fish much in favor on
the Pacific coasts; the cucumber being
dressed with vinegar and sugar, but
without oil. One other relish must be
noticed, the sliced root of the burdock
salted and preserved in miso. A sweet
kind of sake, described as Japanese
wine, is the proper beverage at the
meal, which is prepared by cooks from
Japan, and served just as it would bo
in a restaurant in Tokio and without
any addition of European dishes.
The Secrets of Ventriloquism.
An excellent ventriloquist is now per
forming in our variety theaters, writes
a New York correspondent of the Al
bany Journal —a woman, and therefore
without the mustache behind which
most performers in that line conceal
the slight movement of their lips. In
nothing connected with the magical
show is there more radical humbug
than in ventriloquism. There is no
such thing possible as “throwing tho
voice,” and all the old stories of Wy
man. or anybody else, doing astonish
ing ventriloquial feats in the middle of
a crowd are fiction. The auditor must
be at a little distance or there can bo
deception. This young woman uses
manikins, curtains, a trunk, aud tho
other usual aids; but her unshaded
mouth is absolutely still while she is
talking. Her lips are slightly parted,
but they do not even quiver when she
is singing in a very loud, strong voice.
The whole art consists in speakingwith
out stirring the mouth, and in a divert
ing power of mimicry. As to the seem
ing distance given to the voice, that is
done by decreasing the volume and at
the same time indicating, bypantomine
or otherwise, the direction desired. I
asked her how long she had been' ac
quiring her skill. “I always had it,”
she replied. “I used to be a mill-hand
in Manchester, England. A ventrilo
quist came along, and I found that ho
couldn’t do as much as I had, as long
as I could remember, been perfectly
able to do. 1 showed him that I could
beat him at his own business, and ho
put me into it. There wasn't anything
to learn, except to work the figures, do
the patter (dialogue), and get used to
an audience. I formerly earned §3 a
week working twelve hours a day; now'
I get sls, and the whole doesn’t amount
to that much time.” Were she rid of
her English provincial accent and
coarseness, so as to be acceptable to re
fined audiences, she would easily mul
tiply her present income.
Ai no Inducement for Jeenta to handle Ojn
Watcher we make the following liberal offer: wt
will send a sample of above wat«-b t>y refristerai mail,
to any address on receipt of $6.50. if you wish to ex
amine watch before paying for it, we will pend vou a
arm pie C.O.D. witli privilege of inspection,
before paym* for it, on receipt or *0 ctr. in htamr® (to
guarantee exprv.su ( hartrer; or references
to ahow that watch is ordered in K\x*d faith. The above
cut represent* Gentlemen’* watch ; it has ink gold pta
ted hunting nae«e: celebrated anchor lever movemsot;
compensation lialanc*-;sec< ndhandistem winder: atom
aetter: keeps cr act tiir«* and ha* the cppearmner of
wittcli. W] • » orderirur. anv if for Lad* of
6m(. ain nr <*»i< »v»«— !
A vnTifitv ttf « t r waioh. Catalogue
fn© VICTOR .*, 1 < n. 4? A 50 Malltr
Lane, N. l
for 3 3 cts.
T« any one who will Introduce our good*
and wilhnfluence sales among their friends,
We will sftid samples which will bring then
•5. Send o3cts for postage Sec. 6
Mehceb JiAsrrAoTCKixo Co.,
■‘X.-X-Z.3 S-XTTEiT -A-'W.A.T,
To »ny lady who will agree to show to her friends
and try to influence sales; we will send free hr mail
iunl * ile * h * wl on receipt of
a cent, l O. stamps to pay postage and packine
;;K; f irssr&r* 0 ™"
W rite at once and Mention this Great Paper.
I™ Hands., me Waiting cards with row
"Ml 10 <*»<«•
A B t i UIU C “ ro “° with nama
fly
Hidden sam. cards -ith
OH! MY BACK
Every strain or cold attack* that weak hack
and nearly prostrates yon.
BRM’jj m [)U |
I 1
mrul^
Strengthen* the Mum-Ips,
Steadies the Nerves*
Enriches the Rlonri, Hive* New Vigor.
Dr. J. L. Mykrs, Fairfield, lowa, gays:
“ Brown’s Iron Bitters is the best Iron medicine I
have known in my 90 years* practice. I have found it
specially beneficial in nervous or physical exhaustion,
and in all debilitating ailments that t»ear so heavily
on the system. Use it freely in my own family.”
Mb. W. F. Brown, 537 Main St.. Covington. Ky..
aaya: “I was completely broken down in health and
troubled with pains in my back. Brown’s Iron
Bitters entirely restored me to health.*'
Genuine has above Trade Mark and crossed red line#
on wrapper. Tnlte no other. Made only by
liiiOWN CHEMICAL CO., BALTIMORE, MIK
fie Gink Cotton and Coro Flaoter
AND
Fertilizer Distributor.
Highest award at International Cotton Exht
blion, Atl nta, Ga , the Arkansas State F air the
Ntional Cotton Planters’ association, the Great
Isauthtrn Exposition, Louisvi I*. Ky., and the
World’s Exposition, New Orleans, La , and which
has NEVER failed in any contest, has been stiU
further inoprov* d, and is now fully adapted to any
character of soil and the most unskilled labor, twe
styles and fines bei g new made.
It ic the most durable Planter made, and will
Save its Cost Three Times Over
IN A
SINGLE SEASON.
As it plants from eight to ten acres per dtj,
with less than one and one-lialf bushels of
seed per acre, and opens, drops, distributes fer
tilizers and covers at one operation, saving
TWO HANDS AND ONE TEAM.
The price has been reduced to suit the timet.
Send for circular giving full description and
terms.
Globe Planter M’fg Co.,
226 Marietta Street, Atlanta. Ga.
STEEL PENS.
PATRONIZE HOME INDUSTRY.
W o are now offering to the public STEEL
PENS of our own mauufacture. Our
Plowboy Eagle
Is the best business pen in the market, 75 cents
per gross, postpaid to any address on receipt of
price. And for tine writing our
Plowboy Favorite
Surpasses any pen yet made, 61.00 per gross
postpaid, on receipt of price. Samples on ap
plication.
THE PLOWBOY CO,,
East Point, fia.
THE PLOWBOY CO.
IS PRSPABKD TO DO
NEWSPAPER
woir-ik:
Os Every Description In
THE BEST POSSIBLE MANNER.
And tt the Shortest Notice. We Furnish
READY PRINT
INSIDES OR OUTSIDES
For Newspapers,
or Tine
Hifkst Order ot EiceUeice.
NEWSPAPER HEADS
Made to Order
From the Latest Style of Type.
Publishers who desire to furnish their
subscribers with the greatest amount es
reading matter at the least cost, will ds
well to communicate with ua at one*.
We will print the inside or outside, 01
the entire paper, if desired.
Samples of Ready Prints sent on ap
plication, and prices quoted that are
surprisingly low and defy competition.
All ws ask is an opportunity to serve
oar fellow publishers, confident that ws
can give satisfaction.
THE PLOWBOY CO.
East Point* Ga