Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page.

§Ohe lllcrntgomery ilUnutcif. L) 0. 'U I' rOX. E<li »v :ind Prop’r. Winter Violets. you ask me w' v my eyes are tilled with tears, Whene’er 1 <s*rt the vio.ets of the Spring? You can not tell what thoughts of bygone years Those simple flowers have never failed to bring. I had a brother onoe: his grave Is green. And long ago was carved the headstone’s date: But fresh his memory still—T have not seen One like him, since he left me desolate. For we were twins, and liound by ties so strong. It seemed that neither could exist apart; Yet he was taken —Ah! what memories throng E’en to tills day, on my bereaved heart. He faded from us In the Winter time, When all the sun’s warmth from his rays de parts; Sometimes we fancy a more genial clime Might have restored him to our anxious hearts. My mother prayed him tell her was there aught That gold could purchase, or that love could seek Which be desired; so tenderly she sought To bring back smiles upon the hollow cheek. “Are there no violets yet?” he answered low. We sent out messengers thecountry round: In vain. In vain, the hills were deep with snow. And cruel frost lay on the level ground. “Will not the violets come before the Spring?” How plaintive came the question—day by day: None could be found; it only served towring Our loving hearts to answer always "Nay.” At last one day ho ’woke revived from sleep And smiling thanked us for them; but we said It was a dream, for still the snow lay deep, Not e’en a snowdrop dared to lift its head. » Yet he averred their perfume Ailed the air!— “How could he doubt it? —sure the flowers were nigh!” Alas! we knew no violets could be there— Yet seemed they present to his fervid eye. So spake he, till he slept—he ’woke no more; Sweet brother, was it worthy of regrets. That the next morn, from distant parts they bore To our sad home, the longed-for violets? Was he by fancy happily deceived? Or were tiis dying senses rarefied. And actual knowledge blissfully achieved. Tasting the fragrance as he softly died? I wept while bending o’er his coffined rest, Hushing tny anguish for a last caress; I strew’d the violets on his pallid breast— Perhaps still conscious of their loveliness. CONGRESS. Pen Pictures of the House in Session— The Etiquette of the American Parliament. The national house of representa tives! How few people in the United States have seen it, writes a corre spondent to.the Cleveland Leader. and how different is their itlea of it from the reality. It is now 3 o’clock in the after noon. The house is in the midst of its daily session, and a din like that of a boiler-factory surrounds me as I sit in the press gallery aud write as nearly as I can a photograph of the scenes be fore me. It is an immense room, this house chamber. It is the largest leg islative hall in the world. Its floor covers nearly one-fifth of an acre, and its height from door to roof is thirty-six feet. It looks the smaller for the hundreds that are in it. It is composed of a great central pit about dfteen feet deep, with deep gal leries rising from its top and going up ward by dve graduated lines of benches until the fifth row strikes the buff and green paper of the outer wall. Those galleries will seat 2,500 people, and the seats within them look down upon the bear garden of the arena in the same way as does those from which the spectators watch a Spanish bull-tight. The walls of this pit are paneled in pink and velvety dowered bud', and around each panel is a gilt frame fine enough to blind a Raphael or a Van dyck. In two of these panels are pic tures of historic scenes by Bierstadt, and on either side of the speaker’s desk are pictures of Washington by Vandorlyn and of Lafayetto by Ary Scheffer. In this wall, opening out of the con gressional pit, are arched door-holes all ornamented with carving and gold. Some of these lead to cloak rooms, others to the barber shops of the capi tol, one to the house library, and six to the outside corridors, where the lobbyists and other bores have to wait until their friends come out to see them. Sitting in the press gallery you can look into the cloak rooms and barber shops. Judge Reagan, of Texas, is in the barber’s chair at this moment, and his swarthy face shines out at me from the midst of white lather. There are a crowd of congressmen in the cloak rooms, and among them I see Tom Ochiltree’s red face wreathed in smoke, and Judge Poland’s royal countenance convulsed with laughter. The 325 overcoats and hats of the little great men who are performing below me hang in those cloak rooms. Some of them are very seedy-looking, indeed, and not one out of ten would be worth stealing. The doors leading out of the house into the corridors are double. This is to keep the outs out and the ins in. Each is also guarded by two doorkeepers, able-bodied men who hold their chairs down in those well warmed halls for $1,200 per annum. Each of the gallery doors also has a doorkeeper, though there is little ne cessity for it, and the odicers of the house, one thinks from their numbers, are more numerous than the mem bers. But to return to the bear pit. The press gallery is the central one at the hack. It is shut off from the other gal leries by a wire lattice work, and is devoted to correspondents solely. Fif teen feet below these galleries is the floor of the house. It is 115 feet long by 67 feet wide. If you could take the seats out you would see that it is made up of six half-moons of rostrums, run ning abput a space as wide as the front ot an ordinary city house, oil which the speaker's and clerk's desks are locat ed, and rising by a gradation of four inches, until it reaches the last half ring of rostrums, where a Hat floor goes back from this to the walls. In the center of t his half moon, at the front of the hall, is the speaker’s desk. This is a series of throe white marble desks rising one above the oth er. The tirst, about three feet high, is for the stenographers of congress, who get $5,000 yearly. The tops of their desks are covered with navy-blue baize, and they have mahogany drawers in which to'keep their writing materials. Back of them are the reading clerks of the house, snobbish young men with metallic voices, and above them on a higher rostrum of white marble out in and out like an elaborately-carved pul pit sits the speaker. This to-day is Mr. Carlisle, a dark-faced, rough-fea tured man, with no whiskers, who con tinually chews tobacco as he sits on his spine and presides over the house. His chair is a swinging walnut one. He has an ivory hammer or mallet in his hand, and this he uses with energy to keep the noisy crowd below him in order. Beside the speaker’s desk, on a pe destal of Vermont marble, stands the mace, or insignia of the speaker’s royal ty. It is a bundle of lictor’s rods bound with silver cords, mounted on a silver globe and crowned with an American eagle. The members of the house sit on six half-moons of seats, rising and growing larger as they go backward, in front of the speaker. These seats are ranged on little ranges of rostums, and lhe edges of these rostrums are bound with shining brass, aud are, as in the whoio floor, carpeted with a rich carpet of red Brussels, ou which are flowered figures of blue and yellow. On each range is a row of seats and desks. The desks are small affairs of white wood, having lids covered with blue baize, which are x’aised whenever the owner gets at the $125 worth of stationery lie is allowed annually. Behind each row of desks is a row of white cane-seated office chairs, each on a swivel and each so lixed on springs that the sitter can lean back aud put his feet on his desk if he will. This is a favorite pos ture with some congressmen, and I have seen certain sleepy ones snore away so for hours at a time. Half of the chairs are on the average empty, and some of them have been known to continue so for an entire congressional session. The owners are paid $5,000 a year to till them. They draw the mon ey and leave the chairs empty. The seventh and last half moon of chairs backs up against curtains or fire-screens of blue baize on frames of bright brass rods. Back of these screens there is room to walk about the house, and in the two corners at either end, where the grafe fires are, are half a dozen sofas which are generally filled by lounging, sleeping, and smoking con gressmen. Do congressmen smoke during ses sion? Why, bless you, yes! I have seen ladies grow sick in the galleries from the vile odors of the tobacco which rose from the two-for-5 cent ci gars glowing in the mouths of the so called gentlemanly congressmen be neath. I have seen members smoking in their very seats, and have watched through the wreaths of smoke to catch the eye of the members behind them. They chew, too. These godlike con gressmen do chew! They spit! and every desk has a spitoon of pink and gold china beside it to catch the filth from the statesman’s mouth. It costs at least S4OO a year to care for the spittings of the house, and your aver age congressman will disregard the spittoon and spit upon the floor. They are a neat set! The house at this moment is littered with scraps of paper like a garret. In front of the speaker’s desk are scraps of letters, torn newspapers, and other litters, and and under the desks of most of the members are heaps of the same nature. There is a spittoon beside the chair of the speaker, for Mr. Carlisle is an in veterate chewer of tobacco, and his heavy jaws caress the cud as joyfully as they do free-trade statistics. As far as order in the house is con cerned, there is none. If an ordinary member has the floor a bedlam straight way rises. His fellow-members talk out loud to each other, and each goes on with his business as if he was alone. Dozens of members are writing letters; others are mailing documents to their constituents; others are reading news papers; some will be sleeping, and many will be talking and laughing. If a member wants to cross the hall be does not hesitate to rush between the congressman speaking and tho speaker, and if another wants a page, no matter if his brother congressman speaking beside him is in the midst of his finest period, he will clap his hands like the shot of a pistol. I have seen members sleeping when their next-seat member was speaking, and it is no uncommon thing for a member to be talking with not a single fellow-member listening to him. The speaker generally pays attention, but not always. He favors whom he pleases to a certain extent, and has tho opportunity to display considerable power. The ceiling of the house chamber is a wonderful structure, made of glass and cast-iron. Through this the house is ligiited—in the daytime by the light of day, and during the evening bv fif teen hundred gas-jets, which are light ed by electricity. This ceiling is made in panels, aud these are painted and gilded, and each bears the coat of arms of one of the states of the union. Just over the entrance door of the hlfustj is a large, round-faced clock, which regulates the time of opening session and which limits the time MT. VERNON, MONTGOMERY, CO., GA„ THURSDA Y, 1886. allowed to each speaker. It is a sober, judicial-looking old clock, and its face is a terror to tiie average long-winded congressman. Jus* over the speaker’s desk aud op posite this clock under the press gal lery is •> gold eagle looking out over the speaker’s head, aud apparently ready t,j fly. Ou each side of it hangs a dingy American flag, covered with dust and discolored with age. The two doors in the walls at tho side of the speaker lead to tho mem bers’ retiring-rooms, in which are hung crayon portraits of all the speakers since the organization of congress. They cost the government SSO uaiece, and some of them are fairly gootrlike nesses. This room is well-furnished. It has a number of sofas and easy chairs, with two doorkeepers at an ex pense of a couple of thousand a year to keep the barbarous public out of them. Such is a brief description of our na tional house of representatives. It is a tine structure, and I sometimes think far too good for the men who have tho right to scats in it. The old house was in the hall of tho statutes, as it is now called, which lies between this house chamber and the dome. It was in this that all of our greatest efforts at oratory were made, where Clay, Calhoun, and Webster fought their forensic battles, and where for thirty-two years history was made. It accommodated seats for 232 mem bers, and its galleries seated about 700 spectators. The members’ desks were of mahogany, and each had an arm chair. The reporters to the extent of twenty were accommodated with sofas and desks, and the speaker had a drap ery of rich crimson at his back. It was in 1857 that the house was moved into its present quarters, and in 1864 the old house was dedicated to its pres ent use as a statuary hall. The average congressman considers himself a great man, but lie is only a clerk after all. He is paid by tho country to come here aud apportion out the public funds to the running of tho government. Other men decide how much the government needs, and they furnish the congressmen the fig ures. The average member knows nothing about it, and the best member for the country perhaps is he who knows the least. We merely pay them to divide our money for us. The gov ernment is already organized. Wo have all the laws we need, and the United States, if it were not for tho necessity of the formality of passing the appropriations, could do ’bettef without congress than with it. Still we have it, and wo have to pay for it. We pay well, too. The estimate for the legislative expenses for the current year is put at more than three million and a half of dollars, and tho house of representatives alone will cost nearly two «>d one-half millons. It takes $413, > a year to pay tho salaries of our senators, $1,800,000 to pay the mileage and salaries of tho representa tives, and tho understrappers about the house and senate get salaries of $700,000 aud more at each congression al session. “Walking Typhoid.” A case of uncommon, but not un heard of, malady came under tho wri ter’s notice recently. A young married man sent a note to his wife that he was summoned to a neighboring town on business and would be away all night. As this contingency frequently arose in his occupation nothing was thought of the announcement until the next day, when, ho not having returned, in quiries were instituted, but no trace of his whereabouts could bo found. Five days later be was found in a distant western city, over one thousand miles from home, about to take a train which would carry him still furthor toward the Pacific coast. Ho was brought home ill, and suffered a courso of ty phoid fever, from which ho recovered as well as ever. His physician diag nosed his case as walking typhoid, and the recital in detail of his wanderings, which he was able later to perfectly recall, was terribly suggestive. He had passed one entire night walking up and down the suspension bridge at Niagara Falls, under the impression that his wife was to meet him there and would be frightened to find herself alone in such a place. Distressed at her failure to be on hand, he started in pursuit of her. He stopped at various hotels and restaurants, boarded and left trains always with a definite pur pose. Frequently he came to his senses and knew that he was far from home and traveling under a delusion, but be fore he could fully recover himself the hallucination was strong upon him. It is possible that man}' disappearances begin in just such a half-rational desire to wander, with, however, not the same fortunate ending. —Neva York Graphic. Bill N’ye at a Military Banquet. lam not much of a military man. I once undertook to hold a claim in the North Park, but a bitterness sprang up between myself and the Indians, and I lost my front hair. Cholera, chief of the Utes, came to the Boomerang mine one day and said he would give me two sleeps to get away in. I didn’t want any difficulty with him, and I thought one sleep was enough, and so I hurried right away. I said to him: Noble war rior of the knock-kneed Utes, take my mine, you can have it, it’s already salted; it will keep through the hot weather all right. Help yourselves to anything you can find; take rny grub, take my whisky; drink yourself into a premature grave at my expense, fire up with mv nitro-glycerine and drop on yourself. And then I got out.— Boston Globe. "SUB DEO FACIO FORTITER.” GLEANINGS. Tho Princess Beatrice is two inches tailor than the Queen, and has a figure which is called absolutely perfect. There are 7,000 acres in Judge David Davis’ Illinois farm, and lie devotes his personal attention to its cultivation. Don’t drink cider through a load pipe. Half a dozen men in Massachu setts town took their cider from a barrel in this manner aud are suffering from load poisoning. Tho custom of brides wearing orango blossoms was derived from tho Sara cens, among whom tho orange blossom was regarded as a symbol of a pros perous marriage, a circumstance which is partly to bo accounted for by tho fact that in the east the orange tree bears ripe fruit aud blossoms at tho same time. In regard to the operation for divid ing certain fibrous bands in tho little finger so as to give pianists more free dom in tho use of it, tho British Med ical Journal savs that in the fourteen cases of Dr. Forbes, of Philadelphia, good functional results have been ob tained, but suggests that “tho effort necossary to streteli any fibrous band existing between tho lingors is itself useful, as tending to stretch all tho muscles attached to them. Old Mrs. Grant showed tho other day that she has lost uone of the strong common senso which used to mark her speeches. When her daughter, Mrs. Sartoris, complained of the crowds that are always lingering about tho cottage at Mount MacGregor eager to get a glimpse of the famous general, aud said she felt as though she wore stand ing for a photograph, her mother re plied witli more truth than compli ment: “They don’t come to see you, Nellie; you needn’t mind.” The negroes of Louisiana arc charged not only with eating up the birds of that state, but with devouring tho eggs of partridges, robins, wren and mq.cking-birds whenover they can find them —and they are export huulors. These colored people are as bad as tho ladies who encourage tho slaughter of our beautiful and useful songsters by tho barbarous practice of wearing wings and plumage ou their bonnets. Between the black men and white wo men the birds have a poor show and insects flourish. In a rocky bluff near Gouvernour, N Y., there is to bo seen a strange fi (ak of nature. To all appearance t Ane wood chopper has been engaged n ’“ting stove wood, beading down the block and splitting off. Tho kerf is perfect, showing the ax marks, even to the point where tiie header was cut straigliter to deepen it. Tho season cracks on the log are perfectly imitat ed, aud tiie whole is in solid rock, resting ou a bed of the same material, precluding the idea of its petrifaction. In tho early days of the war of the rebellion Nathaniel Kimball, of York county, Pennsylvania, a brick manu facturer, contracted a debt of 80 cents. To pav it ho produced from his pocket a varnished brick, inscribed “Good for 75 cents —Nathaniel Kimball,” and a pumpkin seed, marked “Good for 5 cents —N. Kimball.” 'Phis currency was accepted. The brick is still in ex istence and Kimball is ready to redeem it, but the present owner, who paid $1.25 for it, will not sell it. Mr Bancroft’s collection of roses at Washington is princely in its splendor. Friends have sent him all old-world va riaties, which, with those of native growth, recall (lie roses of which Sip pho sang, as they hang their heads with fragrance. There are the im perial Jacqueminot, the queenly La mat’que, roses that are of royal purple, roses that are white and yellow, roses that blaze like stars. Moss roses, tea roses, sweet-briar roses, climbing roses - all varieties are represented, and the air is filled with an exquisite odor. Mr. Bancroft passes an hour every morning among his floral treasures. Tho colonv of Jewish refutrees from Russia established three years ago on I, acres of land near Vineland, N. J. purchased by the Hebrew Immigra tion Society of New York and tho Jewish Society of London, has outlived the hardships of its first years anti is beginning to be a prosperous commun ity. Scattered hero and there among the hills and hollows of tho tract the sixty frame shanties in which tho colonists live are hardly noticeable. There are no streets, no church, no stores, mills or factories nor any other indication except tiie scattered houses that 300 people are there. Many have attempted to scale Coto paxi, the loftiest of active volcanoes, but the walls are so steep and the snow is so deep that ascent is impossible, even with scaling ladders. On tho south side of Cotopaxi is a great rock, more than 2,000 feet high, called the “Inca’s Head.” Tradition says that it was once tiie summit of the volcano, and fell on the day when Atahuallpa was strangled by tin; Spaniards. Those who have seen Vesuvius can judge of the grandeur of Cotopaxi if they can imagine a volcano 15,000 feet higher, shooting forth its lire from a crest covered by 3,000 feet of snow, with a voice that has been beard 000 miles. The first survey of Pennsylvania was commenced in 1835 and completed in 1858. It was one of the earliest geolo gical surveys made in America, and, although it was to a great extent a reconnoissance survey of the then little understood geology of the state, it was of great value in directing many of the since active mineral developments. The results of the second survey, com menced in 1870, have been of a more detailed and practical character, ex tending and elaborating the work of thjj first survey, in order to aid those interested in exploring and exploiting the minerals of the state. An English correspondent writes: “Apropos of Frank Buokland’s life, there is au amusing story current— which, however, we give with all re serve of his father, the Dean, who, when on a visit to Nunehatu, was shown a casket containing (what was esteemed a most precious relic) the heart of one of the early French kings. No sooner was the casket opened than, to the unspeakable horror of the own er, Dean Hucklaud pounced upon the relic and instantly gobbled it up. 110 had a passion for ascertaining the fla vor of everything ho catuo across, and never having tasted a king’s heart, the temptation was too strong to bo resisted, lie is said to have eaten through the whole of the animal crea tion, and averred that, though the mole was somewhat disagreeable, the worst creature of all to tackle was a blue bottle tly. Subsequently ho went out of his mind and crawled about the deanery on his stomach, fancying him self an ichthyosaurus. ‘ln which con dition,’ said his sou (so runs the story), •lie was far more interesting than ho hud over boon before.’ ” There are some personal remini scences of Gen. Gordon in a recent number of the Nineteenth Century which are interesting from tlieir ob vious sincerity. Air. Stanuard, who contributes them, was assistant to the manager of the contractors for the for tifications at Gravesend, and his recol lections, while completely agreeing with what is known from other sources of Gordon’s noblo life of solf-sacrifice there, yet serve to remind us that Gor don was not one of those colorless saints who are unredeemed by a single human weakness. Os the familiar side of the picture hero is a charming pas sage: Gordon’s house was already as full of poor boys as it could hold, when another ragamullin applied for admit tanco. He was put up accordingly in an empty stall in the stable, and at 6 o’clock sharp next morning “the colo nel made his appearance, carrying a lump of soap, a bath-towel, a brush, and a sponge. 11c called the littlo vagabond out into the yard, and hav ing poured a pail of hot water into the trough, ho then and there stripped his young friend and gave him a thorough cleausinir from head to foot.” The Killing Passion. “Just before the battle of Fredrieks burg, knowing that a large number of Pennsylvania troops were with Burn side, and that a general engagement between the two armies was imminent, 1 went to Washington and asked for transportation to the front. A tug was placed at my disposal, and I reached the army in time to witness the battle. The terrible slaughter of our troops on that disastrous day we all know. “When our defeat was beyond ques tion I boarded the tug and hastened to Washington, hoping, as railroad com munication was impossible, to forestall the exaggerated rumors that might lie expected, and to alleviate even in only a slight degree the shock of unwelcome tidings. It was considerable past mid night when 1 reached Washington, but I proceeded directly to the White House. It, was no surprise to me to to learn that the President had not re tired. I was immediately ushered into his presence. As he accosted me and read in my face the character of the news I had to communicate he sank into a chair with a sigh of distress.” “What news, Governor?” said he. “Had! very bad.” “Tell me all!” He rested his head on his hands while I gave the outline and the results of the battle. He heaved a heavy sigh and looked at me with an expression of intense suffering, and I remarked: “I heartily wish I might boa wel come messenger of good news instead that I could tell you how to conquer or get rid of these rebellious States.” Looking up quickly, with a marked change of expression, Lincoln said: “That reminds me of the two boys in Illinois who took a short cut across an orchard, and did not become a wye of the presence of a vicious dog udtil it was too late to reach either fence. One was spry enough to escape the attack by climbing a tree, but the other started around the tree, with the dog in hot pursuit, until, by making small er circles than it was possible for his pursuer to make, he gained sullicieiitlv to grasp the dog’s Gil, and held with desperate grin unti' r-arly exhausted, when he hailed hh. companion and called to him to come •town. “ ‘What for?’ said tk i boy. “ *1 want you to help /—e let this dog go.’ “If I could let them go,” said the President, in conclusion; ‘ but that is the trouble. lam compelled to hold on to them and make them I'ay. New York Telegram. Jt is not to the Methodists, as is gen erally thought, but to the Presbyter ians, that America owes the word camp-meeting. Certain Presbyterian ministers held a sacramental meeting at a place called Cane ltidge, in Ken tucky, in 1800. It was attended by more than 20,000 people, and was pro tracted for weeks. This was the first camp-meeting ever held in the l.’sitait btales. 1 A new London hotel has room clos ets with double doors, one opening into the sleeping compartments and tho other into tho hall, through which guests pass their boots to have them blacked instead of setting them out at the door, where they look bad a u ar® in danger of being stolen. Tho idea is clever enough to nave been gu '«esto4 by au Amerieati, - VOL I. No4«r The Witching Weed. Cigars were not known until about 1815. Previous to that time pipes were used exclusively. (’hewing had been in vogue to a lim ited extent for some time, while snuff ing dates back almost as far as srnok ing. The first package sent to Catherine de Medici was in tine powder. She found that smelling it In the box affect ed her similarly to smoking, which led her to (ill one of her smelling-bottles with the dust. Her courtiers adopted the habit of snuffing small portions of it up tiie nostrils, and as the precious stuli'became more plentiful the snuffing habit became more general, until at last a mail or a woman was not consid ered as in proper form unless they snuffed. The custom became so common in England that a snuff-box was no longer a sign of rank. Then it was the law prohibiting the culture of tho plant, ex cept for medicine, was passed. About tho same time a heavy tariff was placed on the imported article, thereby prac tically placing it beyond the reach of the common herd and giving royalty a complete monopoly. Since it first began to be used as a luxury there have been conflicting opin ions in regard to its effects. The Rom ish church once forbade its use, and the Church of England declaimed against it. The Wesleys opposed it hotly, and at one time it was considered so unclean as to unlit men for membership in tho Methodist church. Baptist and Presbyterian ministers preached against it, aud societies were organized to oppose tho spread of the habit, blit all to no purpose. Parents disowned and disinherited their chil dren because they used it,and husbands divorced their wives on aceountof their having contracted the habit of smok ing. It is singular that when women get into the habit of smoking a pipe they prefer a strong one. There are few men who have nerve enough to smoke a pipe such as a wo man likes when she has become a con firmed smoker. When they first begin pulling cigars they prefer them very mild, but it is not long until they want them black and strong aud lots of them, rutsburg Dispatch. Truth ill a Plain (Suit. Elder Toots having got most of his feet under tho redhot stove, and Colo nel Cahoots having succeeded in knock ing down a bust of Plato and wrecking .SSOO worth of relics, Brother Gardner arose and said: “What i hanker artcr am to meet a plumb up an’ down man. liar’ am niissons in dis club who wobble about like a loose wagon wheel. One day dey greet you wid a grin as soft as June, an’ de nex’ day <lcy doan’ know you as you pass on de street. I doan’ mean to hurl no man's fccliu’s, but 1 mean to be plumb. “If Whalebone Howkor should come ober to my house an’ ax do loan of a dollar I wouldn’t keep him on de hooks fur half an hour fur a decision. I should at once reply to him: •Whalebone, de man who uses money aimed by his wife at de wash-tub to buy lottery tick ets can’t get no dollar outer me!’ When a man axes my religion I doan’ beat aroun’ de bush to find out if he has found a short cut to lieabcn, hut I de nounce myself as a Baptist an’ take my chances by de ole road. “When you think yes or no doan’ hesitate to say so. Doan’ bo leanin’ one way one day an’ some odder way on de nex’. De man who knows whar to iiml you won’t go away mad, eben if you decide agin him. Our Bamuel Shin am one day gwine to boa states-! mail, an’ on de nex’ lie’s gwine to open a saloon wid a gilded ceilin’. One (lay; you will iind him a Methodist an de nex’ you will see him devourin’ a Uni-j vcrsalist sermon. Meet him in de mawnin’ an’ he am a feroshus Repub-j lican; cotch him in de afternoon an’ am a good Dimocrat. “Be plumb up an’ down. If you amj sot on bein' good stick to it. Ifyouam 1 sot on bein’bad doan’ let de purleece bluff you off. If you like a man tell, him he can have do use of your snow-| shovel all summer. If you can’t hoe ■ co’n wid him, ax him to buy or sell outj an’ take some odder cow-path. De wobbly man am a pusson to be shun ned. Tryin’ to do bizness wid him am wasted labor trownaway.”— Lime Kiln Club in Detroit Free Dress. Derivations. * Tho word “pamphlet” is derived from the name of a Greek authoress, Pamphylia, who compiled a history of the world in thirty-five little books. “Punch and Judy” is a contraction from Pontius and Judas. It is a relic of an old “miracle play,” in which the actors were Pontius Pilate and Judas Iscariot. “Bigot” is from Visigotha, in which the herce and intolerant Arianism of the Visigoth, conqueror of Spain, is handed down to infamy. “Humbug” is from Hamburg; “apiece of Hamburg news” was in Germany a proverbial expression for false political rumors. “Gauze” derives its name from Gaza, where it was first made. “Tabby cat” is all unconscious that her name its derived from Arab, a fam ous street in Bagdad inhabited by the manufacturers of silken stuffs called atabi, or taffety—the wavy markings of the watered silks resembling pussy’s coat. “Old Scratch” is the demon Skratti, who still survives in the super stitions of Northern Europe. “Old Nick” is none other than Nikir. the dangerous water demon of Scandinav ian legend. The lemon takes its name from the City of Lima. .