Newspaper Page Text
THE HENRY COUNTY WEEKLY
CONSOLIDATED JANUARY 1,1591.
VOL. XV.
PKOFESStOXAL t'A EDS.
!)«■ p •* , ‘ npBRU -
D ENT I ST.
VcOosnroH <**.
' ll v-on* d suing work clone can I«s a* - ]
;o i.mediated oitl.c: lev -all ng on me in pi- -
,on or addre-flne me through the mail*, j
Perm* cash, unless special ai langenients I
ar" other»ise- made.
Geo W. BbyaM | • W.T. Dickkn.
ME VAX & DICKIE,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW.
McDoxoruu. Ga.
Will practice in the counties composing
he Flint Judicial Circuit,Supreme Court
ri Georgia and the United States District
Court. apr27-J y
j If. Tl imiK,
ATTORNEY AT I.AW,
McDohopgb, Ga.
Will practice in the ehunties composing
, he Flint Circuit, the Supreme Court of
Georgia, and the United States District
unit. marl 6-1 y
p RKACiAX,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
McDonoloh, Ga.
Will practice in all the Courts of Georgia
Special attention given to commercial and
fiber collections. Will attend all the Courts
it Hampton regularly. Office upstairs over
rhe Weekly office.
j *’• «»!.!.,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
McDonough, Ga .
Will practice in the counties composing the
Flint Judicial Circuit, and the Supreme and
District Courts of Georgia. Prompt attention
githn to collections. octs-’79
A.IIROWK,
’ ATTORNEY AT LAW,
McDonough, Ga.
Will practice in all the counties compos
ing the Flint Circuit , the Supreme Court of
Georgia and the United States District
Court. janl-ly
|| A. I»EKI»I.ES,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Hampton, Ga,
Will practice in all the counties composing
the Flint Judicial Circuit, the Supreme Court
of Georgia and the District Court of the
United States. ’Special and prompt atten
tion give* to Collections, Oct 8, 1888
Jno. D. Stewart. J R.T. Danikl.
STEWART I MAXIKI.. “
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
Gbikfin, Ga.
J OH A 1.. TVE.
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Gate City Natioal Bank Building,
Atlanta, Ga,
Practices in the State and Federal Courts.
iTiJJJj
tv ’;
East Tbi. yirpia & Ga.
R’Y.
IS THE ONLY
SHORT AND DIRECT LINE
TO THE
NORTH, SOUTH, #
EAST AND WEST.
PULLMAN'S FINEST VES
TIBULE SLEEPERS
B ET'W EEN
ATLANTA & KNOXVILLE
MACON & CHATTANOOGA
BRUNSWICK & ATLANTA
wiTiioir «■*%>« ii.
Direct Connections at Chat
tanooga with Through
trainsand Pullman Sleep
ers to
Memphis and the West,
at Knoxville willi IMillmnn
Weepers lor
WASHINGTON,
PHILADELPHIA,
AND NEW YORK.
FOR FURTHER INFORMATION ADDRESS,
B. W. WRENN, CHAS. N. KICHT
ticnl*Ag . f A,l ; . T. A.
KNOXYILLU. ATLANTA
S> A T*A I? ! I undertake tn briefly
»|3 " 4 B k ■ K P Pleach any tni::\ i it* il:£. n? |o-r*M.ii ot either
Kll 3c I 8 vs Ij.- Itn ro-tid aud write, and who.
>ll3 3 farter will work i»dustrio»*ly,
'Cj# 14 Y • howto earn Three TWu»4 Dollar*, a
Year in their own l«c*litfe*,n berrrer they Kve.l will also furnish
the nutation orerapb>yii’cnf,at w hw h jo* can earn that amount.
No ni«»ney for meutii.-w. »«r<eaatui a* ab< ve. Faidiy and quickly
learned. I deaire but o»« worker from each district or county. 1
liave already taught aud provided with employment a large
\rhn are makhstr v*r a rear each If «.\KH
and Mill I>. Full -jn-italtn FREE. -nca,
K. t, AI.LfiX. ltox 40, AugutU, Maine,
TEW iu*vt.
g*tlbepa!>iforth«iJFiii ' rtr 'L r> «V ' ‘
K i-T Can*Mrvr. ei'tMlfrf* TM- • ‘
I •»«* » .ai . * sT- r -•-»
*3 uy '.T9 rtf <- - .
iU ibe taui**** : Itr.t . *-* u
]£*, Der Bl'»n Hv j|*{. . •
B U XSBX.v ... •
Highest of all in Leavening Power.— U. S, Gov’t Report, Aug. 17, 1889.
PqU,! Baking
Powder
ABSOLUTELY PURE
IT MADE HIM A MANIAC.
A Brazilian's Pretty Wife Crushed by
a Python’s Embrace.
Rufus Hoyt, of New York city, who
was at the Hotel Ryan yesterday, is,
perhaps, one of the most widely travel
ed commercial men of that city, rep
resenting, as he does, some of the lar
gest iron manufacturing industries in
the United States. Observant of every
thing that transpires about bim, be lias
a stock of anecdotes large enough to
fill a volume as voluminous as a labor
commissioner’s report. Accosting a
representative of The Globe, be
said:
“You men on the press are always
looking for hotel stories, and there’s
one here to-day. Do you see that
gray haired man over these ?” point
ing as he spoke to a tall, suh-tanued
guest, who sat with crossed hands ou
one of the benches.
“His name,” continued the New
Yorker: “is Bertram Smith. He is
a Brazilian by every tiling hut birth,
having lived there almost all his life,
and it was there that i met him eight
years ago. He owned a vast tract ol
land in the Amizon valey, near the base
of the Audez, and had the sweetest
little girl for a wife that mortal man
could wish for. Smith was prospecting
for all, sorts of mineral on his property
there, and I*sold him a lot of machin
ery that was never delivered. I’ll tell
you why.
• • -Wtrrni 1 was down St the if- fftaeo
Smith and his wife had just returned
from the honey moon. He worship
ped the very ground the girl trod, and
she in turn was as devoted as ever
woman can he. The house they lived
in was a one-story affair, not pretty to !
look at externally, except it was cover- j
ed With creeping plants, but plenty of |
100 m and the essence of prettiness and j
comfort within.
“.Mrs. Smith came from RioJanerio
She had a mortal horror of snakes, and
her husband used to joke her about it.
Now, that couutiy is full of snakes,
boa constrictors thirty feet long and as
thick as sand files. There was a gar
den about five acres in extent about
the place, and here it was that the j
bride of a few months used to get her
outdoor exercise, except when accom
panied by her husband, at which time
1 believe she would have faced all the
cobras in the country. The prospec
ting works were about three miles from
the house, and one morning Smith star
ted for there on horseback. He had a
rifle with him. On his way home lie j
saw a sixteen-loot boa wind its sinuous {
way across the wagon road. The
eous head was ra'sed for an instant, and
the beadlike eyes glared at the intru
der. The next instant a bullet had
found its way to the reptile's brain,
and with a few convulsions of its slimy
body the python was dead. Being on
ly about three-quarters of a mile from
the house, Smith determined to try
what effect the sight of a dead boa
would have in quieting his wife’s
! fears.
“lie is.ade fust liis hitching reiu to
tlte (lead snake's neck and dragged it
through the gates into the garden.
Then lie went into the house and told
Mrs. Smith about it. She implored
him to have it removed, and at last lie
consented. Then, fearing she would
lose prestige in his eyes by an exhibi
tion of cowardice, site said :
“ T want the awful thing taken out
of the garden, but to show you I am
not afraid of it I will go out there
aloue and inspect the remains.’
“lie scarcely expected she would do
it. The dusk was falling and the bush
es in the gar ’en began to cast grue
some shadows about them. The girl
was game, though. She got a little
pearl handled revolver from the draw
er, threw a summer shawl over her
head and went oui.
“ ‘lf you hear me shoot,’ she said,
‘you will know that the boa has come
■to life, and I shall expect you to res
| cue me.’ Then she threw him a smile
and a kiss ami was gone.
(“Smith didn't like to discourage her,
but he wished he hadn’t suggested the
AND HENRY COUNTY TIMES.
mcdonough,ga., Friday, mays, issh.
thing. He sat there waiting, but every
breath of w : ml seemed, as it blew
through the open window, to bring
a whisper of impending evil. He tried
to laugh at his fears, hut they would
recur iu spite of him:
“Suddenly a pistol shot rang out on
the still air.
“ ‘Good God !’ He started wildly,
seized his rifle and tntukhfor the doof.
Then he laughed at hiuiswW. Of course
she had fired the shot to frighten him.
What possible harm could come to her
in the garden with a seven-foot palisade
about it ? -Pshaw! and he sat dowu
again, but lie-kept his rifle in his hand
mid listened.
“Why didn’t she return? Surely it
was time. LJien he thought he heard
a screen, anAat last, 111 a frenzy of
doubt, he burst through the glass doors
and went in search of her.
“Through the bushes he ran, calling
her name at every step. There was no
answer save the sighing of the winds
through the cassia trees. 011 he sped,
with a horrible fear in his heart of he
knew not what. It had become quite
dark, and no sign had lie found of the
missing wife. Even as he neared the
spot where t lay the dead snake, the
husband nursed the hope that she was
just hidiug to frighten him.
“Now lie was nearing the spot.
Great heaven, what was that ? There
was something wrong. Madty he rush
ed forward, possessed of a dazed, ter
rified consciousness that the snake had
come to life and was moving. A few
steps further, aud then the sight that
met his gaze was enough to have turn
ed him to stone. There lay the dead
boa just as he had left it. Near it was
another and a larger one, evidently the
mate of the reptile he had slain. This
hellish monster was coiled tightly
about some white object, and the man
over yonder became a raving maniac
as he followed with his eyes the sway
ing motion of the brute’s scaly* head.
The circles of the snake’s body con
tracted and there was a horrible, crack
ing sound Then an arm, a dainty,
white-clad arm, was released H orn its
bondage. It fell to the earth aud
Smith saw it. He knew that the one
being he loved best 011 earth was
wrapped in that awful embrace. He
heard the cracking of hones, and knew
that his wife’s delicate frame w|iß be
ing crushed into a shapeless mass. He
saw the tongue of the snake licking
leisurely the fair face which had smiled
at him so sweetly few moments
before, hut he was mercifully bereft
of reason, anil he laughed at the
siolit.
, “What was left of that poor little
woman’s body was recovered by the
searching party that went to serch for
lioth of them an hour later. She was
buried in the old cemetery at Rio
Janeiro, but Smith knew nothing about
it. lie was an idiot for six months,
aud my contract for mining machinery
went by the board. How on earth that
man lived it out I don’t know. There
he is: gb and ask him.”—St. Paul
Globe.
A Cloud of Witnesses.
We know of no medicine that has so
many testimonials to its efficiency as
S S. S., the great blood ' purifier.
Many of the best known people in the
country certify to the marvelous results
it has wrought in the various forms of
disease for which it is recommended.
These testimonials come not alone from
persons who have been relieved of their
sufferings by S. S. S , hut from people
who have witnessed the effects of the
medicine. Practicing physicians, drug
gists, pharmacists—in fact, all who
have hkd an opportunity of observing
the cures brought about by this gieat
blood remedy—liear willing testimony
to its efficacy. In its field, which is a
w ide one, covering some of the most
serious ailments of humanity, S S. S.
has no rival.
No more trials for tired mothers in
administering castor oil to their hope
fuls. < heatham's Tasteless Castor Oil
has solved the problem. It is so pleas
ant children actually wake their parents
up at night and a-k for a dose of it.
Price 25 cent*.
STRAIGHT TII*S VOM YOUNG KAOII
KLOS&
BY 11. C. n^llGK.
In chon,leg a wife for vow weal or your woe
Experience proves it is l»id to go slow.
Ami, also, to pick fromkhe girls vow have
known i
Since childhood began, And who with you
have grown
Regarding the virtues youfcAhoice must pos
sess 4
To make matrimonial life a success,
A good dispositioytomos first; then a mind
Of plain common sense sfitl- book learning
combined.
Accomplishments next. *Sho should equal
ly grace *{"“***■
The parlor or kitcheh‘#fid s»ne in each
place. okt 4M
She must play tjie jMB, knew lutin and
sing, , X
And gcloffn’ dinner tlutsi fit for a king.
«*■ «
Sliq needs to be and thrifty and
neat, J
Conscientious, affeetioiuite, patient and
sweet;
Independently aide to live without wealth,
Courageous in trouble and robust with
health.
We ha’vwsaid not a word about beauty, al
though
It comes before all to the Average beau;
Don’t marry a girl for hedteauty alone,
For nothing is left when bfiuity has flown.
Take the girl who nppeSjfejo lie plain at the
start,
For, alter you know her In mind and in
heart
And, able to realize ftfWy her worth,
You’ll find her the loveliest Woman on earth.
’Tis the beauty wittiln I hat men ’-ever more
prize,
Not the beauty without thtxt so certainly
flies;
And the plain-featured giiliwill be sweet to
the sight
Long after the “beauty”, has turned to a
“fright.”
Who falleth in love wilh a Beautiful face
Will fall 01 t of love after marriage takes
place;
but who makes a choice just, tor goodness
and mind
Will afterwrds worship an angel enshrined.
And now you would like l me to tell, I sup
pose, A mit
The spot where this flower of womanhood
grows.
Tis not in a parlor, iu case you should call,
Nor the streef, nor the high-toned society
ball.
Though over the world you iu search of her
roam,
You only can find her hid deep in the Home,
And there, without, caring for you or an
other,
She’il be in the kitchen assisting her mother.
Shut Oflf His Beer to Avoid Snakes.
“How is it, lieutenant,” asked a
young man of a gray-mustached naval
officer—so says the New York Times
—“that with your many years of sea
life, involving, no doubt, many strange
adventures, one never hears you relate
your experiences of the sea ?”
“Well,” was the answer, “I will re
late to you a little instance of mis
placed confidence. Some years ago I
was attached to a ship on the China
station. One night it was my turn to
take the midwatch. I settled myself
on the starlward bridge rail.
“111 a few moments I noticed a com
motion in tiie water close to the ship.
There appeared not moie than a half
cable length from where I was stand
ing a most gigantic sea-serpent. I had
often read of such things, but 1 ad nev
er believed in them, but I could not
doubt the evidences of my own senses.
Id a moment it vanished, to reappear
the next instant almost under our bow.
'The moon was shining brightly, and I
got a good look at it. The monster’s
head was fully as large as an ordinary
flour barrel, and it was fully twelve
feet above the water.
“It disappeared in a few moments.
The next morning at breakfast i re
lated my experience to my brother of
ficers, and soon after turned into my
bunk. Just before lunch I felt like
drinking a glass of beer, and, ringing
for the hoy, ordered him to bring me a
bottle. The rascal didn’t appear in a
reasonable time and I rang for him
again. ‘What’s the matter with the
beer, Jim?’ I asked.
“ ‘Nuthin’ de matter wid de beer,
Mr. Hobstay.”
‘“Then why don’t you bring it?’
“ ‘Can’t do it, Mr. Hobstay. I>e doc
tor done stopped yore beer. Said dat
a pusson dat sees such snakes as you
wuz talking about dis morning orn't to
hah pa more beer.’
“And that is the reason that I don’t
like to tell remarkable stories.”
Hundreds of people drag along
through the weary summer mouths their
lives made miserable by chilis and fe
ver aud who could be well aud happy if
they would July take Cheatham’s
Tasteless Chill Tonic. It never fails
to cure aud is only 50 aud 75 ceuts per
bottle. “No cure, no pay.”
JUMPED FROM THE BRIDGE.
An Incident in the Life of Robert J.
Illghtoxver.
The death of HOll. Robert J. High
tower at his home in Johnson county
recalls an incident of his early life
which has hardly a paralle in the an
nals of adveuture and is entitled to
rank with the best incidents in early
railroad history.
Early in 1846 Robert Hightower,
then a young man about twenty years
old, came from Alabama to visit his un
cle in middle Georgia.
In those days railroads were some
thing new in the south, and Robert
hud never seen a train of cars or a
railroad track in his life. The trip
from Alabama was made partly by
stage and partly on horseback. 11 is
uncle tesided in the lower purt of
Washington county, about fifteen miles
south ot the Central railroad of Geor
gia, which had been built just a few
years previous.
A few days after Robert’s arrival, he
and his uncle set out on horsebuck to
Tennille, the nearest railroad station,
to attend to some business and to en
able Robert to get his first view of a
locomotive.
Three miles west of Tennille the
public highway crosses the railroad,
which at this point runs through a very
deep cut on a sharp curve. The high
way ciosses by means of a bridge,
which spans the cut, the floor of the
bridge being about thirty feet above
the track.
Robert and his untie hud reached
this bridge, when they heard a distant
rumbling noise, which his uncle in
formed Robert was the train approach
ing from the west.
They rode out midway the bridge
immediately above the track, and con
cludtd there to await the passing of the
tram.
As the iron monster shot into view
around the curvo, the effect was be
wildering upon Robert. Never iu all
his life was he so fascinated by any
thing. Nothing he had ever seen im
pressed him so strongly, and lie at once
became possessed by a passion to know
more about it, to get closer to it.
They had already dismounted and
were holding their horses by the bridle
reins, when the locomotive passed, un
der the bridge. Impelled by an ardent
desire to become latter acquainted
with this steam monster, and knowing
nothing of the danger would at
tend such an act, Robert exclaimed :
“I shall jump down on it and ride to
Tennille, uncle, you bring my horse 1”
His uncle, little thinking he was in
earnest, and taking his exclamation as
a joke, responded, “Jump ! I will come
on to town with the horses.”
Suiting the action to the word, be
fore the astonished relative could pre
vent him, he leaped from the bridge in
to tln#space below.
The distance from the bridge to the
top of the cars below was about twenty
feet, ar. extraordinary jump for anyone
under other circumstances, hut to him
full of extreme.peril.
As he ma le the leap tho last cars of
the train weie passing beneath him.
These cars were “fiats” or open cars,
loaded with bales of cotton piled one
upon another as high as the tops of the
box cais which composed the remain
der of the train
Good fortune went witli him on his
leap. As luck would have it, he struck
near the front of one of the cotton cars,
and was carried backwards by the in
ertia nearly to the other end of the car,
where he gained a good foothold and
sank down considerably shaken up by
the jump, hut with no bones broken
and not a scratch upon him
'1 he top brakeman on the train was
nearly frightened out of his wits at the
sudden descent of a man from mid air,
as it weie.
When Termille was reached the
train stopped and he alighted. lie was
taken in charge by the train crew, who
showed him the train from pilot to ca
boose, much to his delight, and who ex
plained to him the fearful risk he had
taken, much to his surprise and hor
ror.
The acquaintance with the iron
horse was made, but he cared not to
renew it after the manner of the first
introduction.
His uncle soon arrived with the
horses and was overjoyed to find the
young man physically sound.
The bridge still stands. Trains pass
under it day by day, but no one else
has ever sought their acquaintance as
did Uol»ert Hightower.
(Jut hero died a few days ago, having
reached quite a mature age.
HIS HEART TECIIED.
A Negro Convicted of Disturbing
Public Worship.
One of the richest cases that ever
occurred in the courthouse, sa) s the
Atlanta Constitution, came up before
Judge Yan Epps in the city court yes
terday morning.
Palmer Pease, a big buck negro, was
put upon trial for disturbing public
worship, at Rev. Ed Smith’s Baptist
church some time ago.
“Well, sah,” said one of the witness
es, “hit wus lack dis. Do pastah, he
opened de do’s er do church and called
for luo’ners. No sooner’n he did dat
Mr. Peace lie des slip iu at de back do’,
he did, an’lie went er rackin’ up ter
der uiotiTier’s bench, kickin’ an’ er
squealin’an’er tuckin' a cur’ous fuss
all do way.”
“Why didn't somebody stop him?"
asked Solicitor O’Bryan.
“Stop who? Stop him ? W’y, dat
nigger wus wild ; 1 tell yo’ ho wus
wus'll er runaway mule. ’Sides dat,
every now’ll den he’d stop an’ buck,
same lack one er dose 'ere Mountany
bosses.”
“Did he get to the alter ?’’
“Who, him? Mr. Pease, yo’ mean?
You des bet yo’ life lie did, an he fotch
one er de dekins a bump in de stum
mick, an’ sent him ter kingdom come,
an’ deu he coch er holt er do pastah,
Bre’r Smiff, an’ dey had, an' doy had,
an’ dey had it!”
‘ Who got the best of it?”
“Well, hit wus dis way: Bre’r
Smiff, ho hud his eyes fas’ shot, an' lie
didn’t Burmise nothin' 'tall 'bout Mr.
Pease twell lie felt sunipin’ grab ’iui
’round de hocks. Den he open ’is eyes,
an’he stop sayin’‘Giory’ an’ gun to
rasslo wid de Bperrit.’ ”
“With what spirit ?"
“Yo’ knows, well’s 1 do w’at sperrit
I’s colludin' to, hit wus do* sperrit of
Decatur street licker.”
“Was Pease happy?”
“Happy, iHw, him ? WHrt yo’ talk
in’ 'bcut. He wus do onlies’ happy
mun in dal con regas li 1111. He wus fill’
wid do sperrit, but hit wus de yudder
kin’ er sperrit, an’ him an’ Bre’r Smiff
dey had it, an’ day had it, an’ day had
it. lie flung Bre’r Smiff ercross de
altar rail, an’ he belt ’im flown, an’ de
wimraen folks, dey crawled under de
benches, an’ some un ’em shot out ’er
de chu'li an’ hit de grit.”
“Who got the best of the tussle ?”
“Who got de lies’? Why, him, Mr.
Pease Bre’r Smiff warn’t nowhar,
an’ hit luck six men to pull Mr. Pease
off an’ chuck ’im out er de winder.”
“Ilow long is tho church?”
“Fifty fi’ foot, an’ Mr. l’euse went
do full leukt on 'is all-fours, kickin’ an
squealin' an’ makiu' cur’ous noise. I
tell you, Mr. ’Bivan, dat wus er time,
and dar’s no use in talkin’.”
The witness was called down and
Palmer Pease was allowed to make
his statement. He is a big black fel
low, unsophisticated and full of gall.
“1 tel! yo’, jedge—”
•‘Address your remarks to the jury,
please,” remarked the court, with
difficulty controlling the ristihilitius
of the sftuatiou.
“Yes, sah, I’ll do dat. Well, gen
’lcmens, hit was des dis way. I don’t
deny dat 1 wus an unconverted sinner,
an’ 1 des stood outside an’ listened at
Bre’i Davis, who preached a mighty
fine sarmiut.
“A’ter Bre’r Llavis got trough, Bre’r
Siniff, he get up, an’ he ’gun ter ’zort.
Gen’lemeus, you’s uuver heerd lire’r
Siniff ’zort, ef yo’ had you’d ’cu e me,
sho’. He’s er ’zorter f'om way back.
‘‘Well, gen’lmens, hit wus des lack
I tell you. We’u Bre’r Smifr gun ter
'zort, dat tetched me ’way down in de
bowels of my compassion.
4 I fotched er leap, I did, au’ says
tefmyse’f dat any man w’at kin tetch
me dat away orter be reckernized.
“Des es I tell you. I fotcli er leap,
an’ my toe cotcli on dc do’ step, an I
fell. But de sperrit ub grace was ou
ter me, geu'lemens, an’ so be’p me 1
couldn’t stop. I des kep’ er humpiu’
twell I got ter Bre’r Sniiff. Some
fool wiinmen folks w’at seed me got
scart, an' dat’e de onlies’ reason w’y
dey wus any commotion.
“>'ow, geu’lemens uv de jury, dat’s
de God’s irufe, ef ever I tol’ it.”
By this time the court and jury were
thoroughly demoralized. Solicitor
O’Bryan tried to speak, but every
time the image of that prancing Pega
sus, running amuck, came up before
him, be lmd stuff bis liankerchief in
bis mouth to keep from being in con
tempt of court.
Judge Van Kpps looked out of the
1 Henry County Weekly, Established 187*1,
( Henry County Times, established 1881.
window for a full minute before he be
gan his charge. Finally he told the
jury that the oidy question to deter
mine was whether the fervor of the
religious spirit or the fervency of the
alcoholic spirit predominated when the
prisoner was “tetched.” If the for
mer was true he was excusable, and if
the litter he was clearly guilty of the
charge.
After five minutes’ deliberation the
jury returned a verdict of guilty, and
l’ease was given ffiO or six months.
The Doctor Was Kxclted.
Instead of a necktie it proved to be
a snake!
I)r. W. A. Moore, of .Milledgeville,
tells of a startling experience he had
a few days ago with a highland mocca
sin. Dr. Moore usually spends the
early hours of the day visiting his pa
tients, and when the task is completed
he goes to his office for rest. His of
fice is in the basement of his residence,
and the floor is on a level with the
ground. The other day about 10
o'clock ho lowered the curtains of his
room to shut out the sunlight, and laid
down to take a nap. After sleeping
about an hour somebody knocked at
his door door and lie jumped from his
couch and was in the act of putting on
his slippers, when be saw something
under the side of bis bed which he
thought was a necktie. He stooped
over and picked it up and was horri
fied to find that it was a good big high
laud moccasin, lie threw it to the
floor with a jerk, and as the beads of
cold perspiration rolled down his face
lie stamped it to death.
The doctor is usually cool and col
lected, but for an hour or so that day
he was almost frozen witli dismay.
“Would you permit me to read you
my last poem, my dear young lady ?”
“If it is your last really, certainly.”
It is a little singular that the wo
man your wife particularly dislikes is
the one you arc most likely to fall iu
love with.
“Did the grocers make anything on
sugar?” asked Lankin. “Yes,” said
Broker Margin, “those who had any
sand did.”
A Stickler for Form.—Gentleman—
“And why don’t you go to work?”
Tramp—“ ’Cause I ain’t never been
invited.”
Thompson—“l can’t see why )ou
find it so hard to meet your bills!”
Dedway—“l don’t; I find it hard to
dodge them!”
(hight to be suppressed.—“ Was the
play spicy?” “No; but the intermis
sions were. Chat ley went after cloves
four times.”
“I suppose it’s all profit in the drug
business?” “All profit? Do you sup
pose we get fixtures and showcases for
nothing?”
Boys have been ruined because they
had ( to stay at home and turn tho grind
stone, when they should have been al
lowed to go a-fishing.
“l’leaso don’t talk to me. I'm sav
ing my voice for tho opera.” “Why,
are you to sing?” “No. lintobe in
one of tlie boxes.”
When a woman falls in love you cau’t
make her believe all men are alike, and
when she has been married ten years
you can’t make her believe they are
not.
Any Man Can Do It.—Goldbags
(looking out at the tenements) “Alas!
It must lie very hard to be poor.”
Wentinan—“Oil the contrary, it’s con
foundedly easy to be poor.”
“Jane, the biscuits were like lumps of
lead this morning.” “Yes'm, I know
that, but then I heard you say the
master had to have a heavy breakfast
before going to his business.”
Tomdik—“They say that it is very
hard for Frakslius to keep bis nose
above the water.” McCuinmy—
From the color of it I should say that
he found the feat quite impossible.
A Surprise for Both. —Lady Bar
tholomew (as she finds the butler tak-.
ing a surreptitious nip of the tweuty
five year old sherry)—P Bulger, lam
surprised!” The Butler —“So be I,
uie leddy!” ,
One of the guests —“That is young
Newdle’s bride, is it ? I don’t like her
figure.” Another guest —“ 1 hat 3
where you and Newdle differ, tier
figure is a 3 with five ciphers after it.”
In clothing Copeland & Co. have
anything you want, flannels, alpacas,
mohairs, etc.
NO. 30
