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A Methodical Being.
A man of method who attended to
everything on schedule time, whether
It was work or recreation, had the
fortune to fall in love when he bad
passed the age of forty. The mistress
of his heart put up with his oddities.
He had regular nights for calling upon
her, regular hours £or coming and
going, regular theater and club nights,
etc. In fact, she looked upon his regu¬
larity as something admirable.
Things had been going on in this
way for two years, and finally the
great crisis came. They were to be
married. The day was fixed, the wed¬
ding clothes were made, the guests in¬
vited, and the minister was engaged.
At the appointed time they were all
assembled. The bride was dressed, the
wedding presents were displayed, but
the bridegroom came not. The bride
wept and fainted, hut it did no good.
Finally some friends of the delinquent
groom hurried away to see if be could
>e found. He could. He was at home
iu his room, reading as unconcernedly
as if he had never contemplated get¬
ting married.
“What Is the matter? Why don't
you come to your wedding?” shouted
his friends.
The man of regular habits laid down
his book.
“I am very sorry,” he said, “but this
Is my regular day for staying at boine
and reading. I forgot it when I made
the engagement. The wedding will
have to be postponed.”—London Tit
Bits.
__
His Best.
The late Sir John Stainer, one of
England’s most celebrated musicians
and composers, was once staying In a
small Swiss village, and the English
clergyman was on the outlook for a
musician to assist at the service.
Stainer was in the office of the hotel
when the clergyman found him and
started the conversation with “Do you
play the harmonium?”
“A little,” was the reply of the for¬
mer organist of St. Paul s cathedral.
“Will you, then, be good enough to
help us out of our dlthculty on Sunday ?
We will read the Psalms, and the
hymns shall be the simplest I can se¬
lect,” added the delighted parson.
"I will do my best,” said Stainer,
with a smile.
The service proceeded satisfactorily,
but the congregation at the close lis¬
tened to a brilliant recital. When the
parson heard the name of his assist¬
ant he asked hint to dinner. “Do you
smoke?” he asked at the close.
“I will do my best,” responded Stain¬
er, and the ensuing laughter was the
prologue of an entertaining exchange
of Oxford reminiscences.
When Boston Shuddered.
“The superior Intelligence of Boston
continues to excite the envy of her sis
ter cities,” recently observed a promi¬
nent Bostonian, “and 1 propose to add
fuel to the flame by citing the newest
Instance thereof. A little boy in the
Back Bay district, at whose house oc¬
cur many meetings of a certain liter¬
ary club, was asked not long ago by a
returned Bostonian what had become
of a family named Deering.
" ‘The Deerings?’ said the boy. ‘Oh.
they’re not asked here any more.
They’re no longer on mother’s list.’
“ ‘No longer on the list? What's the
matter?’
“ ‘Why. haven't you heard? Drusllla
Deering sent a sonnet to the Atlantic
that contained twenty lines!’ Lip*
pincott's.
Substantial.
Tom—I ate of the cakes she made
Just to make myself solid. Dick—Did
you succeed? Tom—1 couldn’t feel
any more solid if I had eaten concrete
or building stone.—Utica Heraid.
Astronomical Query.
When the cow jumped over the moon
did she leave the milky way behind
her?
♦ <
I I
♦
I Pianos and Organs
I Tuned
♦ and repaired.
I
♦ I— R. HARPER, '
I
LEAVE ORDERS AT
♦
I C. A. HARWELL’S furniture store
♦
$
Scrugg Brothers,
Practical Plumhers, Steam £ Gas Fitters
14 years experience. Established in Florida and
Alabama. Reference First National Banks of Gaines¬
ville, Lake City and Apalachicola, Fla„ and of Geneva,
Ala., or any reliable firms of the above named places.
All Work Guaranteed.
A Trial Order will Convince You.
We will have our Shop in the
Terrell Building.
A Scholarly Child.
Boston has for long enjoyed the
reputation of having exceedingly
learned children who art 1 able, so It Is
said, to dispute on subjects far above
the heads of their elders of other re¬
gions. But Boston is not unique. In
a book entitled “The Scot of the Eight
eenth Century" ian Maclareu describes
a similar characteristic of the Cale¬
donian.
It Is the Inevitable tendency of the
Scot's mind to follow out even,- line to
Its terminus, even if it L»e over a preci¬
pice, and to divide every hair till in
finlty is touched.
It is not only In church courts, but
In market places and in railway sta
tions, in humble cottages as well us in
university societies, that the Scot is
disputing, in every spare moment of
his time, from morning till night.
The story goes that a minister over
beard a mother questioning her child
as It supped Its porridge, after the
day’s work was done.
“What,” said this austere mother,
“Is the true relation between kirk and
state, according to the principles of
the Free church?”
And the favored child promptly re
piled, “Co-ordinate jurisdiction with
mutual subordination."—Youth's Com¬
panion.
Posted on Music.
In one of the large music publishers’
establishments on Broadway there is
a man whose employment it is to be¬
come acquainted with all the music of
the day, both classical and "popular.”
Wheu prospective purchasers are un¬
able to enlighten the other clerks of
the place as to what they want to buy,
they are referred to him as a court of
last appeal.
“I wish to get a piece that has been
running through my head ever since 1
heard It,” says the distracted custom
er, “but the trouble is I don't know
the title or the composer’s name.”
“How does it go?” inquires the spe¬
cialist sweetly.
“Something like this: Tum-ti-ti, tum
tl-ti.”
“Ah, yes; you will get It at the
second counter to your right. Ask for
the ‘Pink Waves Waltz,’ by Straws.”
And the remarkable thing about it is
that be has seldom, if ever, been
known to fall.—New York Post.
Teaching Cubs to Kill.
Have you ever seen a cat catch n
mouse and hand It over to her kittens
to teach them how to kill? Well, a
tiger is merely a big cat, and she
teaches her cubs almost in the same
way, only not with mice. An East In
dian officer witnessed a scene of this
kind. An old bull bison had been the
victim, and the tigress had disabled
him by breaking oue of his forelegs
Just below the kuee. She never
touched the throat, the usual place of
seizing, but allowed the cubs to worry
the disabled animal. The eyewitness
relates that the cubs acted exactly like
kittens, advanced aud retreated and
worried the victim, all the time mew¬
ing and snarling, while the tigress sat
near by, watching their antics and oc¬
casionally giving the bison a blow with
her paw when he showed undue ac¬
tivity.
Llano* of Venezuela.
Venezuela received its musical name
from the early Spanish residents, who
saw a resemblance to Venice In the
sites of the Inland cities. The llanos,
or bleak plains, on which the ilaneros
live a precarious life, have largely
changed their character since Hum¬
boldt saw- them. Then these great
plains of grass supjtorted innumerable
herds of cattle, but civil war led to
the destruction of the beasts to feed
the insurgents. The llanos are now
rapidly becoming a potential source of
timber.
It Is all right to vote for the coun¬
try’s prosperity, but you must work
for your own.—Atchlsou Globe.
THE COVINGTON NEWS
The Penalty of Kindnees.
The man who had abeut three times
as much as he could carry felt In his
pocket for a uickel. The conductor
waited patiently while be extracted a
package cf cigarette papers, four
matches, a little wad of string aud a
corkscrew.
“Noshing doin’,” said the sozzled oue
aud immediately lost interest iu the
matter.
“Come, get off.” said the conductor.
“Here; it's Jefferson avenue. I can't
let you go any farther without pay¬
ing.”
Just then a fat man leaned over aud
gave the conductor a nickel. "Let him
ride,” he said, aud the “con" rang up
the fare and passed on.
Wheu the car reached the end of the
line the inebriated gentleman was still
dozing.
“Why don’t you get off?” roared the
“con,” shaking him. “Where do you
waut to go?"
The passeuger opened one watery
eye sleepily.
“Where do I go?” he exclaimed.
“W'y, Jefferson avenue!” — St. Louis
Republic.
_______
Bigger Than the Sun.
A minute parallax ot about one-six
tieth of a second of arc found for
Arcturus by Dr. Elkin gave a most
astounding result. This small pural
lax implies a distance from the earth
£qual to about 12,000,000 times the
sun’s distance. This vast distance
would produce a diminution of light of
about thirty-five and one-fourth mag
Oitudes, so that the sun placed at the
distance of Arcturus would be reduced
to a star of only nine aud three-fourths
magnitude. It would not be visible
with su opera glass. Arcturus is
therefore in round numbers nine and
one-half magnitudes, or over 0,000
times brighter than the sun would be
at the same distance. Assuming the
same density and brightness of sur
face as the sun, the diumeter of Arc¬
turus would therefore be about sev
enty-nine times the sun’s diameter, or
over 08,000,000 miles, and its mass
about 500,000 times the mass of the
sun—figures well calculated to “stag
ger the Imagination.”
Why Sailors Like “Scraps."
It has long been observed that -the
•ailor, whether in commercial or gor
ernmeut service, takes a peculiar de
light in “mixing up” with the blue
coat, hut this inclination has been at
tributed more to a natural exuberance
w-bleh comes with a land leave, ac¬
celerated somewhat by artificial means,
than to animus Inherent with deep sea
life. But why this feeling? Perhaps
It Is that the strict rules of marine
service, the long periods of close con
finement to which the seaman Is sub¬
jected, make him a hater of any oue
who wears the emblem of authority
when he Is temporarily enjoying free
dom on shore leave away from the re
straints aboard ship. The sailor wants
liberty In Its full sense, and, realizing
that the bluecoat Is the chief obstacle
to bis obtaining It, he develops a firm
conviction that the policeman ought to
be trounced on general principles. In
time it becomes his chief peaceful am
bitlon. -Brooklyn Standard Union.
Poetic Justice.
A certain couple in a New England
village, each the parent of six children,
had meted out to them a kind of poetic
Justice in which they failed to see the
poetry.
The woman, a widow, pleading that
she had no home and was therefore
unable to care for her children, Induc¬
ed the local authorities to admit them
to an orphan asylum. The man, a
widower, pleading be had no house¬
keeper and therefore no one to care
for his children, Induced the authori¬
ties to admit his six also. Thereupon,
being freed from all Incumbrances,
these two married.
All went well for a few months,
when the authorities, learning of the
situation, promptly dispatched the
twelve children back to their parents,
and, the woman no longer able to rep
j resent without herself as housekeeper, homeless or they the man
as a were
forced to reoelve them.
Death In Variouc Forms.
A crank came running into the office
and said that a man swallowed a twa
foot rule and died by Inches. The edi¬
tor started out at once to learn fur¬
ther particulars of the death and, meet¬
ing Dr. Martin, told him about the
•ase. He said that was nothing; that he
had a patient once who swallowed a
thermometer and died by degrees. A
eouple of bystanders just then chipped
In. One of them said It reminded him
of a fellow in Kansas who swallowed
a pistol and went off easy. The other
one said he had a friend who took a
fyiart of applejack and died In good
spirits.—Exchange.
All Right.
“That girl's all right,” said the
blond girl In the dressing room after
•be had looked everywhere for her
overshoes. “The one who has Just
left, she’s gone off with both the right
overshoes and left me the left ones.”—
New York Times.
An Early Riser.
“Are you an early riser, Pat?”
“Am I? Sure, I’m sleh an early
riser, sor, that I’m afeared some time
I'll ketch meallf gittln’ up when I’m
goln’ to bed!*’—Yonkers Statesman.
A Good Excuse.
Little Willie—I don’t need to take a
bath tonight, mamma. Mamma- Why
not? Little Willie—I w-as out in the
rain today and got all wet.—New York
Journal.
I speak the truth, not so much as I
would, but as much as I dare, and I
dare a little the more as I grow older.
—Montaigne.
Couldn’t Fool Him.
A Morris Hirer oystermau attended
a baud contest oue winter night in
Morris River. The contestants blew
into their great horns as if to burst
their lungs. The drummers banged
their drums with might and main.
Cheeks were red aud rouud like ap
pies. Eyes almost started from their
sockets. The oystermau enjoyed it
all. But his attention was distracted
by a deaf old gentleman who in the
pianissimo passages put a large silver
ear trumpet to Ins ear. Whenever he
did this the oystermau sneered. And
at last his honest hatred of anything
approaching sham overcame the man's
reserve. He elbowed bis way to the
deaf old gentleman and said:
“Look here; that don’t go here. Ev¬
erybody knows you can’t play that
with your ear. l*ut it away, mister.
You can’t fool us.”—Los Angeles Times.
Toy* of Revolution Times.
The toys of the French revolution
period were characteristic of that ter¬
rible time. There are tops whose
shadows cast the profile iKirtrnlts of
Louis XVI. and Marie Antoinette.
These are turned iu boxwood and are
indeed interesting reminiscences of
Jackson
Dickens’ Full Name.
Charles Dickens was christened
Charles John Hufl'am, or lluffham,
as it is erroneously entered in the par¬
ish register. But when lie became fa
mous lie dropped the lust two Chris¬
tian names, as lie desired to be known
as plain Charles Dickens, a wish re¬
spected on his tombstone in Westmin
ster abbey, by his biographer and
friend John Forster and by the scru¬
pulously accurate Dictionary of
tional Biography.
Just Goes Out
“Mother, when the fire goes out,
where does it go?” asked a chit
her parent.
goes out!”
Useless Luxury.
could fancy a little broth.’
rou up?”
PROFITS CUT ALL
TO PIECES ON
OS
Pen or Fifteen Different Makes.
$10 Profit on Factory Prices.
See This Line Tefore You Make
Your Purchase.
It Means Money To you.
C. A. HARWELL,
Leader In
Furniture and Undertaking
Covington, Ga.
NICE FRESH GROCERIES
You will always find at my store as nice afwt} fresh
ceries as can be found in the city, and when you purchase
them from me I make it a point to get them _td hdtttib
just as quick as it is possible for me to do it. .
FRESH MEATS
I also have in connection with my store a first class Meat
Market and can furnish you with the choice kind of Meats
you like so well. Giveme an order. I will appreciatr it and
will try to please you.
Cigars aud Tobacco. Cisli Pal# for Hite.
R. F. Wright,
Covington, Georgia.
Everybody Takes Them- mm I ;
Wl IAT?
Rol linson's Black Bit tors.
WHY? 1
Because t hoy do all that is cliatned |J
for them.
75 Cents Per Buttle. (
FOR SALE BY
| ( oogltT & Wood, Mansfield, ( ia. 1
W. S. Marbut, Almon, Ga.
I)r. Luke Robinson, Covingto n. Ga. I
IL