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Th# Persevering Guesser.
“It is amazing what perseverance
will achieve.” said an Englishman.
“Even misdirected perseverance has
achieved marvels. There is the case of
Robson, the great Notts cricketer.
Robson during his Australian tour was
determined one scrolling afternoon
that his side shouldn’t do the hard
work of fielding. Well, when the Aus
t**alian captain spun the coin Hobson
shouted, ‘Woman!’ Then, seeing that
heads lay uppermost, instead of ac¬
knowledging defeat Hobson said, with
perseverance and nonchalance:
“ 'Well, we’ll go in.’
“ ‘But—er—I thought,’ said the puz¬
zled Australian—‘you see, I don't quite
know the English meaning of “wo¬
man." ’
“ ‘Then,’ said Hobson gallantly, ‘we’ll
toss again.’
“The Australian made a second toss.
Robson called heads, and tails came up.
The ordinary man would at this point
have surrendered in despair, hut not
so Robson.
“ ‘Honors are now easy,’ said he,
with a pleasant smile. ‘On with the
rubber.’
“The Australian a third time flipped
the coin, and, having at last called the
toss correctly, the persevering Hobson
led in his side to the shady benches.”
An Unofficial Order.
Thomas, tenth Earl of Dundonald, at
his death vice admiral in the English
navy, tells in bis “Autobiography of a
Seaman” of an incident on board the
Hind, on which he served as midship¬
man. The pet of the ship was a par¬
rot, the aversion of the boatswain,
whose w'histle the bird learned to 1ml
tate exactly.
“One day a party of ladles paid us a
visit aboard. By the usual means of a
‘whip’ on the yardarm several had
been hoisted on deck. The chain had
descended for another. Scnrcely had
its fair freight been lifted out of the
boat alongside when the parrot piped,
‘Let go!’
“The order was Instantly obeyed,
and the unfortunate lady, instead of
being comfortably seated on deck, was
soused in the sea. Luckily for her, the
men were on the watch and quickly
pulled her out, and, luckily for the par
rot, the boatswain was on shore or
this unseasonable assumption of the
boatswain’s functions might have end
ed tragically for the bird.”
How Prisoners Converse.
A man who was sent to jail recently
for three days for a small offense was
greatly impressed with the precau¬
tions taken to prevent the prisoners
engaging in conversation. There seem¬
ed to be warders everywhere, and no
one was allowed to utter a word.
On the Sunday he was in the church
the psalm given was the “Old Ilun
dredth.” Beside him were two old jail¬
birds, and Instead of the orthodox
words beginning “All people that on
earth do dwell” this pair sang a hynm
of their own In conversational style,
which went something as follows:
First convict sings:
“How lopg are you In for?
I am doing sixty days.
X nearly broke a copper’s jaw.
Bing low or else they’ll maybe hear.”
Second convict replies:
“Tou are a lucky plc-can.
I've got twel-elve months to serve.
Tried to break Into a house.
Some'dy must have gl en me away.”
By this method they exchanged his
♦orisc during the singing.—Glasgow
News.
Too Humiliating.
A certain small boy of six is rapidly
assuming manly ways. Not long ago
his ‘room” at school planned an enter¬
tainment. There were to he little
songs and recitations and a mysterious
grab bug. The small boy waxed elo¬
quent concerning the coming glories of
this show, and more especially the
part he would take.
On the morning of the entertainment
bis mother suggested that he should
take his little sister, aged four, with
him. He hung his head.
“Don’t you want to take her?” his
mother asked.
“No, 1 don't,” he answered.
“And why not?”
The reply came quickly.
“ ’Cause there ain’t none of th’ other
fellers has to bring their children!”—
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
No Acid Needed.
Weary William Rhoades- Say, Hap¬
py, wot’s de difference between us an’
new fall eider?
Happy Harry—Search me.
Weary William Hhoades—Dey don't
have ter put no acid in us ter keep us
frum workln’.”
At which the dry hay iu the mow
burst into a furious flame.—Exchange.
Getting His Straight.
“I wouldn't make a confidante of
''^May,” A self said satisfied the conceited smirk. "She fellow, with
told me
yolj said you were crazy to marry me.
Of course she's no friend if”—
“No,” interrupted Miss Wise, “and
she’s not even a good reporter. 1 didn't
say I ‘was,’ but ‘would be.’”—Catho¬
lic Standard and Times.
Noiseless.
Wife—Would it please you. dear, if I
learned another language? IIusband
Yos. it would delight me infinitely.
Wife—Well, which one shall I study?
Husband—The sign language.—Smart
Set
A Woman's Secret.
Biggs—There goes a woman with a
past. Boggs—Yes, and there are about
twenty years more of it than she is
willing to own up to.—New York Jour¬
nal.
Great is the fact that our interests
gradually take a wider scope, allowing
more scope for the healing power of
compensation.—Dinah Mulock Craik.
A Fulsome Compliment.
During Mr. Cleveland's tour of the
south shortly after his marriage Mrs.
Cleveland and he were driving cue day
through the streets of one of the larger
towns escorted by two of Its citizens.
Some one threw a bunc h of violets to
Mrs. Cleveland, and Mr. Cleveland
bent forward to catch it, remarking as
be presented it, “I wonder why no one
gives me flowers.”
One of the gentlemen present gal¬
lantly replied, “We think you have won
the fairest flower in all the land.”
“Ah, yes,” returned the president;
“but, you see, I can't keep her in wa¬
ter!”
“It is not necessary since you keep
her in such excellent spirits,” was the
reply.
Here Mrs. Cleveland interposed, say¬
ing, “I am afraid you are guilty of flat¬
tery,” whereupon came the reply:
“No, madam. Flattery is fulsome
compliment, and In this Instance no
compliment could be either too frank
or too fulsome.”
The charm of this response lies in
the last and fourth from the last
words, Mrs. Cleveland’s maiden name
being Frances Folsom.
A Queer Chinese Notion.
One of the beliefs which the Chinese
are slowly unlearning is that foreign¬
ers use the eyes and hearts of China¬
men In compounding rare ahd costly
drugs which are valuable aids in
magic. Medicine and magic have for
ages gone hand in hand in China, just
as they once did in Europe. Ignorant
Chinamen therefore readily believe
such tales. The use of eyes of Chinese
by foreigners in metallurgy is describ¬
ed in a work called “A Deathblow
to Corrupt Practices,” published in
1870. According to this, when white
Christians had charge of a funeral
they drove all the relatives and friends
from the house. Both eyeballs were
then removed from the corpse, the ori
flees being filled with plaster. This
was called “sealing the eyes for the
western journey.” By compounding
these eyes with a hundred pounds of
Chinese lead, this veracious chronicle
continues, eight pounds of silver could
be extracted from it. The sight or¬
gans of any other people were useless
for this purpose.
Marine Rubber Chewers.
The sailor, taking a flue, new rubber
band from the stationery display, be¬
gan to chew it with vigorous enjoy¬
ment.
“What are you up to there?” snarled
the druggist.
“Just rubber chewin’,” said the sail¬
or. “It's n habit with all us navy fel¬
lers. Keeps off gun headache.
“Of course you, a landlubber, don’t
know nothin’ about it. But let me tell
you, mate, when a sixteen inch gun
goes off aboard ship the Jar shatters
winders, splits planks and brings your
lower teeth up against your uppers
like a straight left from old John L.
“The result Is a gun headache—such
a headache! But if you chew rubber
in firing time it eases off the shock and
you don't suffer none. 1 been chewin’
It steady ever since Manila Bay.”
“Itubber chewing—what a nasty
hubit.” said the druggist.
“Hag chewin’s worse,” was the sail
or's reply.—New Orleans Times-Demo
erat.
Close Quarters Fo*- Washington.
At the time, now some years ago.
when subscriptions were being solicit¬
ed for (he erection of a statue in New
York city to President Washington a
gentleman called to secure a contribu¬
tion from an old resident who, ul
though wealthy, was a little “near.”
On learning the object of the visit the
rich man exclaimed:
“Washington! Washington! Why,
Washington does not need a statue! 1
keep him enshrined In my heart!”
In vain were the visitor's solicita¬
tions. and he was naturally indignant
at the parsimony of the millionaire.
“Well, Mr. It.," he remarked quietly
as he rose to leave, “all I can say is
that if the Father of His Country is
in the positiou In which you describe
him he is in a tight place!”
The Title “King.”
The sovereign title of king has gen¬
erally been supposed to be derived
from the old British word “gyning,”
signifying “wise.” But the Hebrew
term “roseh” Is doubtless the root of
all the present titles denoting kingly
power, including the l’unic “resell,”
the Scythian “reix,” the Latin "rex,”
the Spanish “rey” and the French
“roi.” The German nations styled their
monarch according to their different
dialects—“konig,” “kuning,” “koning,”
“king.”
Time's Changes.
The captain was receiving the new
middy.
“Well, boy, the old story, 1 suppose—
fool of the family sent to sea?”
“Oh, no, sir,” piped the boy, “that’s
•11 altered since your day,”—London
News.
Not Misplaced.
Hotel Clerk—I found the “Not to Be
Used Except In Case of Fire” placard
those college boys stole out of the cor¬
ridor. Manager—Where? Clerk— They’d
nailed it up over the coal bin.—Boston
Transcript.
Gritty.
“Fifty miles an hour! Are you
brave?” She (swallowing another pint
of dust)—Yes, dear; I’m full of grit.—
Chicago News.
A Deserter.
Hewitt—Green has been airested for
being a deserter. Jewett — Wife or
army?—New York Tress.
They conquer who believe they can.
-Yergii.
THE COVINGTON NEWS
Hick*’ Story.
It was in 1847 that Hicks first made
a county name as a witty raconteur.
In that year Sir Samuel Spry, who had
been member for Bodmin since tne
great reform Dill, lost his seat and in
a petulant mood took legal proceedings,
against Hicks on the ground that he
had abused his official position to in¬
fluence voters at the poll. In the
course of the trial Hicks was called
upon to state what he had to say in
Lis defense. In the course of his state¬
ment he asked leave of the court to
illustrate his position by a story. His
request being assented to, he related
how a few days previously he had
been to see a lad whom he knew well
who was laid up from a fall from a
vicious donkey, which had kicked out
ail his front teeth. The lad, said
Hicks, had taken the matter in the
most kindly way and had said to him,
“ ’Tlsn't the fall, Mr. Hicks, and ’tisn’t
the vally of the teeth what annoys
me, but ’tis the nashty, ghastly,
wishous disposition of the jackass.”
Sir Samuel Spry sprang up in the
well of the court in a fury and ex¬
claimed, “He has called me a jack¬
ass!” The court was convulsed with
laughter, and Hicks was promptly and
fully acquitted of the trumpery charge
brought against him.—Cornhill Maga¬
zine.
Great Wars From Trifles.
Great wars, pregnant with bloodshed
and all the horrors accruing thereto,
have very often been the outcome of
trifling incidents which might, had they
been treated properly, have been
smoothed over and the slaughter avert¬
ed. More often was this the case In
earlier times than It is now. Every
one knows that William the Conqueror
lost his life in France through his
horse treading on a redhot cinder
while he was superintending the burn¬
ing of Mantes, but few people know
the fact which gave rise to the cam¬
paign that cost William his life.
1 tilling the latter part of his reign
he became abnormally stout and con¬
sequently the laughingstock of not
only his subjects, but tiis neighbors
across the water. One day his con¬
temporary, Philip of France, compared
him to a fillet of veal on casters and
suggested that he Rhould be exhibited
at a prize monarch show. This so en¬
raged William that he straightway
made war upon his rhliculer, and the
loss of thousands of lives was the re¬
sult.—London Tit-Bits.
Gestures Part of Talk.
There is a man who from a very
early age has lived in countries where
Spanish is the almost universal tongue.
From force of this training he speaks
Spanish perfectly. He has not the
slightest trace of an English accent,
nnd persons who do not know that he
Is of American parentage are willing
to believe he is a Spaniard, merely
from hearing him talk. He is so per¬
fectly bilingual that it shows even In
his gestures. When talking with Eng¬
lish speaking persons he sits quietly
and does his conversing with his mouth
alone. Only in case of making a point
most emphatically does he use a ges¬
ture. But the moment lie drops into
Spanish his every word is accompa¬
nied by a movement of the hands or
arms. It is interesting to watch tlie
change from the English to the Span
ish side of him, because it comes so
suddenly, lie really can’t speak Span¬
ish without gesturing.—New York Sun.
Some Slang Words.
A remarkable fact Is that many slang
words have a classical origin. For
example, the word “mill,” a vulgarism
for a tight, is traceable to the Greek
word “hamilla,” which means a com¬
bat.
“Uncle,” the affectionate term for a
pawnbroker, is derived from the Latin
“uncus,” a hook on which the article
pledged was hung.
To go before “the beak" is a distinct
reference to the old Homan custom of
adorning the platform from which jus¬
tice dispensed with the beaks of ships,
which platform came to be called the
rostrum, that being the Latin for a
beak or prow.
Cruel.
The rich bachelor sighed and looked
at the beautiful girl fixedly. “Things
are at sixes and sevens with me. I
feel the great need of a woman iu my
home, one who could straighten out
my tangled affairs and make life worth
living again.” Her glance spoke an
Interest which approximately expecta¬
tion. "Yes?” she queried softly. lie
blurted out. “Do you know of any
good, ablebodied woman whom I could
get to clean house?”—Argonaut.
A Sure Scheme.
Young Wife—I am determined to
learn at what hour my husband comes
home at nights. Yet do what 1 will
I cannot keep awake, and he is always
careful not to make a particle of noise.
Is there any drug which produces
wakefulness? Old Wife—No need to
buy drugs. Sprinkle the floor with
tacks.
Aristocratic Fowls.
'Do animals have their social cus¬
toms and institutions?”
“I presume so. 1 have no doubt that
the geese have their descendants of
the eacklers who saved Rome.”—Puck.
His Specialty.
Friend—That new gardener seems to
be a very hard worker. Suburbanite
-Yes. that’s his specialty. Friend—
What? Working? Suburbanite—No.
Jeeming to.—Town Topics.
Oil of Bergamot.
The world’s supply of oil of berga¬
mot comes from a comparatively small
part of Calabria, in the extreme south
of Italy, fronting on the strait of Me*
slna.
IS YuUR NOMELIFE HAPPY
IaaMjL J^iCiiM'/ryuzlcC
ite 1
1 his is a question which will naturally lead you to believe that our impression is that there
are some homes in this city and county where the happiness and contentment is not what it
should be. 1 have been in business here for the past twenty years and my observation is that a
home where contentment reigns supreme is generally the ones furnished with that class of furni¬
ture recognized to be the most elegant, no matter how low the cost or how humble the home.
It makes no difference whether you want to put a thousand or a hundred dollars in your house
furnishings I have a line that will at once appeal to the artistic taste and also give the best wear
and look good the longest time. In fact, 1 make the assertion that my stock of furniture is the
best, most complete, durable and lowest priced of any house in the county. All I ask is for you
to come to my place and look it over. We will make the terms to suit you and give you the
best values you can get anywhere.
Bear in mind that happiness and contentment will almost invaraibly be found in the home
furnished from this mammoth stock, which includes everything in the furnishing line.
j R. E. EVERITT.
j 1 have also the only licensed embalmer the
% got in city and my line of undertaking goods
cannot be excelled.
SEE' US FOB THE BEST OFFICE STATIONERY
j
!
How About That New Spring Suit?
Getting time you were thinking about
it? So it is.
We’ve thought of you long ago. Just
drop in and let us show you, Bring a
friend or two if you like.
We are always glad to see you.
LEE BROTHERS, Covington, Georgia.