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TURKEY'S WAY WITH BOOKS.
A copy of Mr. Howard Crosby
Butler’s “Story of Athens” was sent
recently to a person living in Tur
key, but was returned to the pub
lishers inscribed in French, "Entry
not authorized—return." Inquiry
developed the fact that ns hook can
be sent through the mails into Tur
key unless it is on the approved list.
Instead of having a “black list,” like
Russia, ruling out certain books,
Turkey has the much more conven
ient arrangement of a “white list,”
which makes it very simple for the
censor. If the book is not among
the select number of the “autorisea”
back it goes.
All books with illustrations, maps
or plans are thought to be particu
larly seditious. Mr. Butler’s “Story
of Athens” happens to be rather
complimentary to the Turks, but
the fact that it has illustrations and
contains a reference to the prophet
(which from a Christian is profane)
will forever rule it out of Turkey.—
New York Mail and Express.
A Snub He Deserved.
While in Canada Lord and Lady
Lansdowne pleased the Canadian
people by their friendly and unas
suming manners, which were in
marked contrast to those of former
f overnors general and their wives.
t is related that at a garrison ball
at Halifax the colonel of the regi
ment that was giving the dance
came up to Lady Lansdowne and
said: “Lady Lansdowne, won’t you
give me a dance, please? I’m tired
of dancing with these silly little
colonial girls. They have no style.
I believe I’m engaged to one of
them for the next dance, but you
might be kind enough to rescue
me.” Lady Lansdowne replied in
tones loud enough for everybody to
hear that the colonel was unfit to
associate with any decent people,
colonial or otherwise, and conclud
ed, “If this is the way you treat
your guests I will relieve you of the
presence of one of them at once.”
Then she ordered her carriage and
left the ball.
CONDENS
Joaquin Miller's S
Inherit,
Joaquin Miller
first investors in U
Passing the question
profit, these wells furmsi.. u ......
with at least one good story. The
poet visited the Lone Shir State to
inspect lus property and there met
a man who answered to the title of
“colonel.” One day when this man
and the poet were together the talk
turned to the war of secession. Mil
ler thought his companion had
taken part in that struggle, but the
colonel said he had been a noncoin -
batant. Then Miller made a hold
guess that the title was derived
from a militia commission. But not
so, nor was it a result of an appoint
ment on the governor’s staff. Nei
ther did it come from service dur
ing the Spanish-American trouble.
“Ah,” said Miller at last, think
ing he had the mystery solved, “you
commanded the Texas rangers at
one time. They were brave men,
and it was an honor to lead them.”
“No,” said the colonel, “I never
had anything to do with the
rangers.”
\ “Well, tell me,” persisted Miller,
“is the title merely assumed ? Have
you no right to it ?”
uiouoivo one of the cowboys said
“Wow!” the conductor of the train
waved a red flag, the engineer let
out a squirt of steam, and the cor
respondent went through Sharon
Springs, leaving a cloud of dust be
hind him that looked like the re
mains of a cyclone. Ho went
through one fence and took the cor
ner oil one barn and finally brought
up against tho sido of another. A
committee of villagers helped him
un, he remounted the horse, start
ed again, and the last seen of
him he was far out on the horizon,
still followed by the rolling dust
cloud. He came in later on a meek
cay use lent to him by a friendly
cowboy, who incidentally informed
him that he had been riding the
most famous race horse of that'end
of Kansas and that the horse was
trained to run when tho reins were
pulled tight and stop only when
they were slackened.—Argonaut.
teresled speci
ment say that those words v,.
er spoken, hut the sentonce uws ar
ranged after the tight was over. The
inside fuels regarding the great May
day hat tie of 1838 put a new light
on*the ii "idem, and one who talked
with tlu? admiral imon after that
battle is* authority for the following
veracious mvount:
Admiral Powov never gave tho
order, in words at least. That
utterance uus pm in his mouth by
others and agreed upon ns nn appro
priate on.* to down to poster
ity 11I0U4 \.i:m til.- itlier famous say
ings of history. <»on after the last
shot had l»« «*is t!ivd and the .Spanish
power in tin* Pacific was u thing of
the past tin* new.-paper correspond
ents gatheii J about the admiral, as
is the custom or: ,-.:eli occasions, to
§ et the facts for thpir dispatches,
'he admiral told briefly everything
that had taken place, and when he
What Wearies a College President.
President Iladley of Yale, writing had finished his recital the group
in the Youth’s Companion on the 1 fell to discussing the events of the
“Certainly I have a right to it— work of a college president, tells of I day. Finally one of them rernind-
the best kind of right,” replied the the deluge of letters that comes to
colonel in an offended tone. “If him. Many of the letters are of
you must know how I got it I’ll tell course simply handed over to tho
you. I inherited it. :
university secretary or treasurer.
“Inherited it!” ejaculated Miller. Others contain ti more personal
“From whom, your father?” | note. Says oue correspondent:
“No, sir. From Colonel James j Dear Sir—I have offered you a f»!r chal-
Smith who died two Years ntm I ,ens ° for tt 1>ub,,c debate with me con-
omiui, wnc aicti two >ears ago. l cernln(; the method adopted In the crea-
married his’ widow.” — New lork tlon of the universe. I hold that It Is the
r Pi*jj es duty of tho president of Yale university
j to discuis a toplo like this with every one
Bogus Bohemlanlsm.
The real bohemian does not wish ! >’°u recreant
<0 be put on show for the delecta-
who Is wilting to do BO, and unless you
name a time and place I shall proclaim
duty.
Another and younger man who is
tion of persons who do not under- more interested in the present than
6tan4 him. There is a story told of in the past begins:
Maurice Barrymore which illus- ! Dear Slr-t write to Inquire whether
your college Is composed of a baseball
A third correspondent soys:
I feel that I have a call to preach the
gospel, and therefore If arrangements can
be made for my support I should like to
take a course of study In the Sheffield
Bclentlllc school.
The Pope’* Wig.
I recently saw in a newspaper a
repartee of the pope, who has a
ready wit. The following story of
him is current in Italy, where he
personally is most popular even
among the anticlericals. He has, or
is supposed to have, some nephews
who find it somewhat difficult to
extract money from him. The wife
of one of these nephews i9 said to
have undertaken to get some from
him. She solicited an interview
and, having obtained it, said: “Holy
father, I come to seek your advice.
I am poor, I have a largo family,
and, alas! I am in debt. I have
been gifted by heaven with a good
voice, and the proprietor of a music
hall has offered me a large salary to
appear on his stage and sing a few
simple songs. Ought I to accept the
offer?”
“Certainly,” replied his holiness,'
“and I only regret that my official
position will not allow me to be
present at your debut.”—London
Truth.
The Usual Way.
Signor Tosti, the composer of
“Gcodby, Summer,” “Beauty’s
Eyes”.and other popular melodies,
is an Italian by birth and education.
His first two songs, it is said, were
refused by the three Italian publish
ers to whom they were consecutively
submitted, but eventually became
the most popular of his pieces and
a year after their appearance were
purchased for a large sum by one | club,
of the publishers who had previous- i
ly declined them. “Forever and
Ever” is another Tosti song which
received the same treatment.
Novel Theatrical Advertising.
American actresses are not the
only ones who know how to get their
names into the papers. ty week or
so ago Jcauno Uranicr took a party
in her motor car to the outskirts of
Paris. Just outside of Tonncrre a
shower fell that drenched all of
thorn. Mile. Gronier saw her op
portunity. She sent for tho village
tailor, shoemaker, milliner, hatter
and hosier and bought complete out
fits for her guests at a cost of $300
and then sent for the reporters. On
tho same day an actress in Berlin
was accosted by a “Johnnie.” So
distressed was slio that to rid her
self of him she jumped into the
Spree. He was so frightened that
he fainted on tho spot and came to
only when sympathetic bystanders
trates this point. Entering a famous j , h “f““"S* ““ th ?‘ th , e Wb» d
bohemian Sub in New York 0 ne other hank of the
night, tt found a lot of commercial : ™er without any more harm to
men in’full possession. They greet- j herself than a wetting.
ed “Barry** effusively. Hehadnard-j
ly got himself “fairly sat” when one ; ** ot t0 ?, uart ! r *
of them slapped him on the back j Senator Iillman tells of an old
and said, “Barry, speak us a piece.” . d flr ky in his employ that ho once
Then a chorus said: “Yes, get fun- I Permitted to make use of certain
ny, old man. Cut up. We’ve all i ^nd for farming purposes on condi-
heard that you wero a great enter- j |j on t* ie darky should givo to
tainer.” Barry glared around for senator one-fourth of tho crop
a moment and then said, “I’ll do a ra “, • , . ,
handspring for you, gentlemen, but ! .he harvesting of the crop the
I can t speak a piece.” Then he , ®enntor vvn amazed to find that the
reached through the silence .and darky had not kept lus part of the
picked his hat off the hook. That i agreement, for, while ho hauled
was the last time he entered the ?'™>’ l > ,rc< ’ wagon loads of produce,
he had not sent n single one to the
senator’s barn. Tillman called the
The Taciturn Man. negro’s attention to tho fact that In
Mr*. Van Ynr-i. the author of ’ hod taken the entire crop, asking;
ed the admiral that it was custom
ary for some famous utterance to be
handed down from every important
engagement in history; some terse,
brief expression characteristic of
tho man who led his forces to vic
tory. “Didn’t you make some ut
terance or give some order during
the fight that we can use in this
connection ?” asked one of tho news
paper men. “No,” replied tho com
mander in chief; “nothing in par
ticular that I recollect.”
“Well, didn’t you give-some direc
tion of some sort that can be used
in that way?” “No,” replied Dew
ey; “nothing (hat’s noteworthy.”
“Well, vvliat did you say when you
ordered tho fray to begin?” asked
the correspondent. “Simply order
ed Captain Gridley to go ahead.”
“Ah!” ejaculated the correspond
ents, breathing sighs of relief. And
thereupon the famous order, couch
ed in the words which have hceome
known everywhere, was suggested
and agreed upon generally. The
subsequent dispatches were featured
by the words then arranged and put
into the shape in which the order
will nppeur lip histories for centu
ries to come.
Motes Had Changed.
Visitors to Washington will recall
the bronze statue of Abralmm Lin
coln in the center of Lincoln park.
It was purchased with a fund raised
by former slaves to commemorate
their liberator. There is a replica
of tho statue in Boston, reared by
the liberality of Moses Kimball.
Bostonians tell a story concerning
tho rcmnrk of Oliver Wendell
Holmes when lie was first shown the
Lincoln statue in Boston. Beneath t
that statue and on the granite baso '
“Are you
Ada Ilazlcwood case?" as.,..
court.
“Didn’t know it was set for to
day,” replied the attorney. “Thought
It was down for tomorrow."
“No, it was set for today, and tho
witnesses are here.”
“Well, let’s put it off until tomor
row. Wo are not ready," pleaded
tho lawyer.
"Can’t do that,” ruled the court.
“Wo’ll take the state's testimony to
day, and you cau put your witnesses
on tomorrow.”
“But I don’t want to do that.”
"Well, you’ll have to do it.”
“Bet you a dollar vou don’t take
the stute’e testimony, said tho luw-
ycr.
"Guess we will if I say so.”
“Is tho bet still good?”
"Yes; I’ll take it.”
And the money wits put up.
“The witnesses for tho otate in
the case against Ada Ilazlcwood will
rise and bo sworn,” ordered tho
court. <
“No, yon don’t!” retorted tho law
yer. “We waive examination and
will go to the grand jury. Givo mo
the S3.” ,
And the court turned over tho
money.—Green Bag.
The Fastidious Clubman.
An unusually bold London pick
pocket tried to remove tho valuables
of a Piccadilly exquisite ns ho snmi-
tered to his ciith one morning. Tho
from .lie k,
rcau of labor statistics .
are more than 43,000 such pereu-.
—28,000 men and 17,000 women.
Two-thirds of them are native born
too.
These persons who have retired
on competencies arc apparently not,
as a rule, the owners of large for
tunes. Indeed, most men of large
fortunes, it is safe to' say, do not
retire till physical infirmities com
pel them. In tho list are an amaz
ing number who were farmers—
more than 3,300—whereas less than
3,300 were merchants. Even tho
retired blacksmiths number 359,
and there are 1,070 “laborers” on
this list.—World’s Work.
Indians and Long Hair.
There is a rumor in Indian Terri
tory that the Indian inspector re
scinded his order requiring Indians
to have Choir hair cut because ho
could not make it operate with
equal effect upon the large number
of long haired white men who roam
around the territories. It seemed
to ho hardly fair to the red men to
make them live up to a higher style
of coiffure than their white brothers.
The Woman Who Toils,” had many
amusing and odd adventures burin;
her life us a worker. One adventure
“Now, how’s that, Zeb? Wasn’t
I to receive a fourth of the crop?”
“You was, Massa Tillman, you
that has not heretofore been printed was,” excitedly exclaimed the darky,!
concerned a taciturn man. ! “but'dare’s only three loads, sail,:
only three loads.”
She met this man on a New Eng-
land road mending a worm fence. j
“Can you tell me,” she said to ;
him, “how far it is from here to the j
next town?”
A Tramp's Hidden Treasure.
A number of young men in an
Ohio town recently thought that
He pointed forward. “Milestone | they would have with a
little further on will tell you,” lie I tramp if a good Tj^toioii could be
growled. ! discovered. The
Rudeness such as this vexed Mrs. j tame looming up out of space
Van Vorst. “But the milestone will was captured, lie was given a bath,
ho no good to me, for 1 can’t read,” j shaved, his hair was cut, and he was
then decorated with a new suit of
fastidious clubman seized the thief
by the wrist, gazed at his filthy paw
and flung it from him with disguat,
saying, “For goodness’ sake, my
good man, wash your hands before
you put them into a gcntlcman’a
pocket."
A Story ot George III.
The death of Dr. Temple, arch
bishop of Canterbury, last winter
recalled the manner in which Arch-1
bishop Sutton, who was ut Lambeth
palace when Dr. Temple was horn, 1
received his appointment from ]
George III., says a bonbon paper.
One night after the death of Arch- !
bishop Moore Dr. Sutton was en
tertaining some friends at the
Windsor deanery. There was u
knock at the door, and the butler j
announced that a gentleman out- ;
side who would not come in was
How Russia Expands.
The progress of Russia is like the
spreading of ink over blotting pa
per. There is no natural barrier in
Persia to throw her back or head
her off, such ns tho mountainous
frontier of India. But the prospect
of Russian absorption of Persia is
not practical politics today. Neither
is it practical politics nor healthy
patriotism to hound on Great Brit
ain to occupy, finance, protect or
claim rights in every country which
lies upon her road to India or Afri
ca nr America or tho south seas.
Such a policy is merely suicidal.
We can barely govern efficiently our
present possessions. Fresh largo
responsibilities in Persia, in China
anil ultimately in Turkey would
6imply weigh us down to the gun
wale and finally sink us.—London
Outlook.
Light From Microbes.
Professor linn Molisch of Prague
hns reported to the Vicuna Academy
of .Sciences the discovery of n lamp
lighted by means of bacteria, which
he claims will givo n powerful light
anil ho free from danger, thus being
valuable for work in mines and pow
der magazines. The lamp consists
of u glass jar, in which a lining of
saltpeter and gelatin, inoculated
with bacteria, is placed. Two day*
after inoculation the jar become*
illuminated with a wonderful bluish
green light, caused by the innumer
able bacteria which have developed
in tho time. The light will bum
brilliantly for from two to three
weeks afterward, diminishing in
brightness. It renders faces recog
nizable at a distance ot two yard),
and largo type is easily legible by it.
The Boh Janitor.
A janitor in a Now York apart
ment house must ho a mechanical
Proteus. The first class janitor not
only gets his rent freo and a good
•alary, but ho has an assistant to
take caro of tho hall, tho stairs, tho
front steps, the cellar and the side
walk. Tho boss janitor merely au-
pcrviscs these details and devote*
most of hi* working timo to fixing
locks, putting in broken window*,
looking after the steam heating ap
paratus and tho electric dynamo,
making general repairs nnd saving
tho landlord many u dollar by avoid-’
ing tho employment of tho plumber,
the glazier and the carpenter, who
charge by the job and charge high.
—Pittsburg Dispatch.
What Ailed Him.
Anxious Neighbor—Silas what
th’ dooso is th’ lnattei ot that boy
o’ yourn? Ev’ry day ho seems
t’ have a change o’ plans nnd ockv-
pation.
Father Hornihsnd—Nothin’ eery-
ouh. He’s keenin’ track o’ them
icr nrtieklcs on how t’ suck-
u j noospano
anxious to see the bishop. Impa- ce cd. Ev’ry one tells a dirt’rent wny,
tient nt being disturbed, Dr. Sut-
ton hurried to the door to find the
king, “llow d’you do, my
said King George. “I’ve come to tell
„ W03 nn > ns criptioh telling the his. ^
right”sortTnally! ! or - v oC lho memorial. The name of Tho bishop bowed, and “All right,”
out of space and | “ ose * appeared in letters ’, a jj tlm king. “You’ve got a party.
an’ he’s try in* 'em all. Soon ns he
nd fP t8 ovcr *1 n little I’m /join’t* put
or ii I t* plow’ in th' hillside lot, wrhero
1 to tell ; th* broom sedge is thickest. That *1!
yon that you rc* archbishop of Can- • gj Vo 'jm n chanst t' find out what a ‘
torbury. 1)you accept? hh? hli. . f 00 | j lc » a | JC c*n.—Baltimore Amer
ican.
she said
T
chuckle*
said.
[’hereupon the taciturn man J clothes. A fire was started, and the j **““£?’* , I ? onu,nent ”
icklcd a little. “Ho, l.o,” he ! young men told the tramp that they ‘Ji 6
1. “It is just the kind of mile- i were going to burn his old clothes.; rcl "arked. urcr
- <!,.* can’t rend for • I to had undermine tho nrevim,. . " ell > wcll! . How Moses Kimball mon
stone for people that can’t read, for i He had undergone the previous T
all the writin’s been washed off of : painful operations, with a‘worldly! tVr g ~ CleVeland ptaw -T
it.” l wise Emile, but at this announce- * “* c \
Hi* Good Offices Assured.
“If you don’t mind,” said the ten
ant timidly, ‘I’d like the privilege
of having my children go in and out
tho front entrance to the building.”
“That doesn’t seem unreasona
ble,” admitted the owner of the flat
building. “Of course I can’t prom
ise anything, but I’ll use my influ-
erjl t ™i”-S 1 ieaoo 8 poi^ “ ! The lat " Iiev ' Geor « c Kocni 8’ * I found $1,400 in bills sewed in
can be arranged. Urn g • ! Brooklyn clergyman, who was rath-,; the lining of the ragged coat,
er puritanical in his views, rebuked
one of his parishioners whom lie
saw with her hair profusely curled.
If the Lord intended your hait t
of very large size—in fact, five or fcix i £C . e all their hats there. Go hack !
tunes as large ns were the letters in to them. Gotd night” * |
the name of Lincoln. I)r. Holmes
His One Joke—but a Good One.
Robertus Love, secretary-treas-
of the American Press Hu-
onc spontaneous
Heaven Via California.
It is noted that many of the ini-"
migrants who are now seeking
homes in the wdst travel in Pullman
cars. That is « sign of American
| progress. From the Atlantic to
; Ohio the travel was in
Didn’t Need Help.
wise smile, hut at this announce
ment he began to fight. Tho rea
son was discovered oy the police,
Only Book Congreeaman Curtis 8aved.
Congressman Curtis hod 1,100
books In the library of his North
m z —r — „ * * . „ j_ ! "ii me i^uru tuieuucu \0
Topeka home. Every book was de- cur , „ he gaj(d .. h , Tou j’ d hlve curl .
stroyed by the floods save one, which u for „ Whereupon tu.
happened to be in an npiUir. bed- l.dy replied saucily:
room; mid, curiously enough, this ^ ^ ^ l
was a baby, but
n^. w, oVtre pj A^m^ki^; ! —I «
City JourtaL
••If”
Dodge 'Em.
“My *on,” said the savage bache
lor, “beware of the pretty girl at •
summer hotel who is always late for
her meals, who keeps every one
waiting on all excursions and ha* no
idea of time. It i* this kind of
which the wive* are made who drive
men to drink.”—Exchange.
life, according to his own inodeat
confession.
An Editor's Hint. i One time years and years ngo-he
“When you report yourself as be- 1 was on u train passing through Bal
ing on the sick list as late in the j timore. Some one in the ear look-
veck as Thursday or Friday, you ed out at" the scattered house* that
•hould, in justice to the editor, re- lay on dither side tho railroad truck
main sick ut least until the paper* and asked:
are in the post office. It is terribly “Is this the outskirts of Balti-
embarrassing to say that Mr. or Mrs. more ?”
Geewhilikens is dangerously sick as [ Just then tho train whisked into
we go to press and then while lug- j a {unncl like a rabbit into its bur-
ging the papers to the post office 1 row, and Mr. Love shouted out glee-
meet the said party on the street | fulljin thedarknns:
looking, quite cheerful.—Millington “No; it’* the undereidrt*.”—-Bal-
(Mich.) Gazette. 1 timore American.
morists, never sprung orally more Ohio the travel was in wagons;
joke in his from Ohio to Kansas it was in im
migrant ears; from Kansas to thi*
point they come in I’ullmans. When
the time comes tot migration from
California the people will tak*
wings and go to heaven.-—San Fran
cisco Call.
Msrktd Down.
Mr*. Stiggins—Well, you are th*
greatest dunderhead I ever did see
wt. The idea of buying an excel
sior mattress for goose feathers 1
Mr. Stiggins—It isn’t my fault, id
it, that the dealer ia a cheat? Tho
bad waa marked down, yon know.—
Boston Transcript.