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Tfcaerr:
CONOENSED STORIES.
B
m» Cat Was the Only Ona Praam!
Not Embsrraastd. ,
The late Thomsa B. Reed enjoyed
• joke on no one more than on
hlmeelf. One auch ia related by a
Washington society woman whoen-
joyed hu personal friendship.'
After all, the joke was chiefly on
the lady, which may be the reason
why she and not Mr. Heed was the
narrator. She ia a cat enthusiast.
Many and beautifnl are the cats she
owns; grate and reverend are their
names, chiefly borrowed from emi
nent public personages, but none was
more handsome or dignified than
the one she had named “Mr. Reed."
CONDENSED STORIES. '
How a Sharp Criminal Lawyer Wan
a Dollar From Justice Duncan.,
Justice F. E. Duncan of Des
QUICK WORK IN EL PASO.
“They do things in a neat and
workmanlike manner in El Paso, 1 *
•aid a man who had been traveling
I in the southwest. “1 was on a train
When one da;
Reeds” accident
day
tally
the two "Mr.
met in. her re
ception room and the more illus
trious of them, attracted by the
beauty of his furry namesake,
stooped to stroke lum and ask
“What do you call him?” the
lady had a bad quarter of a minute.
She did not know just how the
czar of the house of representatives
would like the idea that a cat had
been named for him. So she stum
bled out a hastily invented fictitious
name, and (he conversation passed to
nptory voice sounded on I
wav—“Mr. ReedI”
“Mr. Reed!” it continued. “Are
S ou in the parlor? What are you
oing in that parlor?” Before any
explanations could be made a white
capped head was thrust in the door
way and an angry looking maidserv
ant cried, “Como out of that parlor,
I tell you, Mr. Reed!” -
It is not'on record that the cat
seemed embarrassed.—Philadelphia
Press.
The Baker’s Romance.
During a recent tour in Spain
Mmo. Ella Russell received at her
hotel every evening a parcel contain
ing cakes, such as could be bought
Moines, Is., gained some experience i com i„g j, from Mexico when a pas-
and incidentally lost a dollar to a senger in the car I was in got into
prominent criminal lawyer not long ■ —
ago. The lawyer dropped into the
justice’s court one day.
“Are you ready to-take np the
Ada Hailewood case?” asked the
court.
“Didn’t know it was set for to
day,” replied the attorney. “Thought
it was down for tomorrow.”
“No, it was set for today, and the
witnesses are here.” •
“Well, let’s put it off until tomor
row. 'We are not ready," pleaded
the lawyer.
“Can’t do that,” ruled the court.
“We’ll take the state’s testimony to
day, and you can put your witnesses
ontomerrow.”
'•But I don’t want to do that."
“Well, you’ll have to do it"
“Bet you a dollar you don’t taka
the state’s testimony, said the law-
FOR THE LITTLE ONES.
The dame st Zoology Affords Much
Amusement For Boys and Qlrls.
This game will give all the more
tenger in the car I was in got into amusement when played by boys
a row with a negro porter. The . and girls, because they are not sup-
lortcr hit the passenger. over the posed to be skillful artists. If their
lead with a poker, and the passen- drawings, therefore, are somewhat
S r took out his revolver and shat grotesque, all the better for the fun
e porter six times. We took the j.of the evening,
irter off the station at El Paso;
if I say s
“Is the bet still good?”
“Yes; I’ll take it?’
other topics, when suddenfv a per-1 ^“^tnms^ Trtttete in
9 ““ 'the case against Ada Hailewood will
rise and be sworn,” ordered 'the
court. —-
“No, you don’t 1” retorted the law-
yer. “wo waive examination and
will go to the grand juir. Give me
the $2."
And the court turned over the
money.—Green Bag.
jat an ordinary pastry cook's. One
evening as she was leaving the hall
she was accosted by a small individ
ual, who took off his hat and bowed
like a haughty. Castilian. He an
nounced to the famous singer, much ,
to her surprise, ’that he had noticed j
on- each of the twenty nights on
which she had sung in “Lucia di
Lammcrmoor” she had always gazed
at him in his seat in the topmost
gallery. His mother had a bakeiy
In tho town. He was an only son,
and placed his hand, his heart and
his fortune at her feet.
Won by a Photograph;
A pretty story is told of the in
troduction of the king of Portugal
to his charming and clever wife.
One day, when the crown prince, as
he then was, was calling on the
French ambassadress, his attention
was arrested by the photograph of
a sweet faced, fair haired girl on the
mantelpiece. Taking up the photo
graph to examine it more closely,
he said to the ambassadress;
“What a charming young lady 1"
“Yes," was the answer, “and she
is as charming as she looks. She is
the Princess Amelie of Orleans.”
On tho following day the prince
was on his way to Paris, and a fort
night later his engagement to the
beautiful princess was formally an-
. nounced to the world.
Two Killers.
It is a very rare thing for General
Baden-Powell to be at a loss.for
repartee, and his most humorous
sayings are generally spoken in a
low, even voice and with a serious
look only belied by the twinkling of
his eyes. At a luncheon party a
celebrated doctor was chaffing him.
“And how do you feel when you
have killed a man professionally?”
lie asked.
“Oh,” said Baden-Powell imper
turbably, “1 don’t mind it. How
do you feel under the same dream-
^stances ?” i
The Fastidious Clubman.
An unusually bold London pick
pocket tried to remove the valuables
of a Piccadilly exquisite as he saun
tered to his club one morning. The
fastidious clubman seized the thief
by the wrist, gazed at his filthy.paw
and flung.it from him with disgust,
•tying, "For goodness’ sake, my
good man, wash your hands before
you put them into a gentleman’s
pocket."
A Story of Qtorgo III,
The death of Dr. Temple, arch
bishop of Canterbury, last winter
recalled the manner in which Arch
bishop Sutton, who was at Lambeth
. palace when Dr. Temple was bom,
received his appointment from
George III., says a London paper.
One night after the death of Arch
bishop Moore Dr. Sutton was en
tertaining some friends' at the
Windsor deanery. There was
knock at the door, and the butler
announced that a gentleman out
side who would not come in was
anxious to see the bishop. Impa
tient at being disturbed, Dr. Sut
ton 1mfried to the door to find the
king. “How d’you do, my lord?”
said King George. ‘I’ve come to tell
you that you’re archbishop of Can
terbury. D’you accept? Eb? Eh?”
The bishop bowed, and “All right,”
said the king. “You’ve got a party.
I sec all their hatjLthcre. Go back
to them. Good night.”
Hit One Joke—but a Good One.
' Robertus IJove, secretary-treas
urer of the American Press Hu
morists, never sprung Orally more
than one spontaneous joke in bis
life, according to his own modest
confession.
One time years and years ago he
was on a train passing through Bal-
but he died before the ambulance
came. I was told- to be at the in
quest at 10 a. m. next day to tes
tify watch was wrong, or some
thing happened, and I didn’t get to
the inquest until seven minutes past
10. As I was going in I met the of
ficials coming out.
“Too late,' they said. ‘He woe
acquitted and discharged five min
utes ago.' ’’—New York Tribune.
What Causae Fires.
The annual losses by fire in the
United States, which have averaged
as high 'as $100,000,000 a year at
certain periods, were attributed dur
ing a single year to the following
causes, the number of fires from
each cause being given: Incendia
rism, 1,927; detective flues, 1,809;
•parks (not-from locomotives), 716;
matches, 636; explosions (of lamps,
etc.), 430: stoves, 429; lightning
869; spontaneous combustion, 826;
prairie and forest fires, 280] lamp
and lantern accidents (other timn
explosions), 238; locomotive sparks,
211; cigar stubs and pipes, 20
friction, 179; gas jets, 176; engines
and boilers, 160; furnaces, 136, and
f-jm irecrackers, 106. — Harper’s
“The actor,” said Roscius do
Hammo as he gazed over the sward
at the summer hotel where he was
resting, “should always forget that
he has an audience. He should im
merse his soul in his lines and”—
“That’s all very pretty,” inter
rupted Horatio Tiewalker. “It isn’t
half so much trouble to forget
that he has an audience as to forget
that he hasn’t one.”—Judge.
Ona Appreciated .Benefit.
"Yes, the flood was a calamity, of
course, but it did some good in our
town,” said tho native.
“You’ll have to show me,” com
mented the stranger, looking at the
scene of ruin around him.
“Well, tie. had one old fellow in
this town who was here during the
high water of 1844. He’s quit talk
ing about it.”—Chicago Tribune.
Has Her Doubts.
“A hone," said the lover of ani
mals, ‘Is man’s truest friend.”
"I didn’t know that,” answered
young Mn. Torkins. “Judging
from Charley’s experience at the
race track, 1 thought a horse was
the kind of a friend who borrows
money and forgets to return
-Washington Star.
your i
It"—'
timore. Some one in the car look
ed out at the scattered houses that I end the ultimate. slier untold 'suffer.
A POSITIVE GUARANTEE.
Signed by Seals Pharmacy Who
Agree to Return Your Money
If Dr. Oarlstedt’s German
Liver Powder Fails
. to Cure You.
GUARANTEE
I hereby scree to refund tl o monev
paid for Dr. £*rlataadt’a German
Liver Powder on the return of the
empty bottles the purchaaer staling
it has tailed to relieve and cure him
of any of the diseases for which it ia
recommended. This guarantee cor.
era tho use of a SI bottle or four CSu
bottles or]two months’ treatment.
Signed:
I)-. Carlstedt’sUer iiisnl, ver Powder
* wonderful remedy, u prescription
used lor over Bile years M an eminent
German physician in hfs practice both
in Emoye and this country and sod
by thousands of druggists all over the
world, tjj mildly natural arc the ef
fect of th's remedy that all Kiduey
and Liver, troubles give way to perfect
bealtti. It'eures the worst cases and
many have been cured ivno bad tried
evely known remet y.
Svtnptoinsof Liver Complaint: Die-
pepsls, indigestion rheumatism, glint,
sain eruptions, ssllowness, conuttpa-
tioju dizziness, vertigo, lieu. I nolle, p .Ics,
isin in the back, melancholy, bail
ireatli. fnrrv tongue, horrid taste, un
pleasant dreams, insomouit. undue
sleepiness, nausea, fistulence.awaillng
of the abdomen, colicky condition of
the bowuis, pain and soreness In the
stomach, liver spots on the skin, loss
ormemorv. impaired yllnlitv.dlre fore
bodlngs, lack of energy, indfctslon,
crankiness, blood poisoning, nervous
ness, falling hair—oh, there are lots
of them end each one emphtsizee the
importance of having Dr. Carlatedi’a
German Liver Powder constantly with
in reach It is the right thing at the
right time, sure and certain in. effect
pleasant a d perfect In action.
For your own cake, don't neglect
any ot the symptoms of liver disorder
ilaf - — •
Get a large sheet of white card- \
board and hang it on the wall. Now |
give to each player a piece of all- j
Couette paper about five inches {
square and a- pencil. Tho paper ;
should be black. on one side and .
white on the other. j
In one corner of the white aid* !
of the paper write the name of soma !
animal—a different one for each j
player, of course—and also tho play
er’s number. Direct the players j
then’to draw with the pencil on the
white side of the paper the animals
assigned to them respectively, and
when the drawings are completed to ;
cut them out. |
The lender of the gamo then col
lects the figures and with paste or
mucilage attaches them to tne card- !
board on the wall, the black side of 1
the figure out, and each figure with -
its number beside it. — I
Now give to each player a sheet j
of paper with numbers, written
down the left hand side, as many !
numbers a; there are drqwinge, and |
ask them to write opposite to each !
number the name of the animal that i
the numbered figure ia intended to !
represent. I
Hero is where the fun comes in, I
for many of tho drawings will prove |
to be rather hard to make out. The i
player who guesses tho greatest!
number of animals receives the !
cardboard ns n prize.
The “American fever” is spread
ing so fast in Norway that the au
thorities are becoming alarmed. The
country is very sparsely settled, hav
ing only about 2,000,000 inhabit
ants. Of these 28,000 emigrated
last year, mostly to America, and
the indications are that that figure
.vill be nearly doubled this year.
The Deceased Wlfe’e Niece.
In Australia a man can marry hit
deceased wife’s sister, but the courts
have decided that he cannot marry
his deceased wife’s niece, The law
which made the former marriage
legal had omitted all mention of the
The anomaly is probably
ths result of an oversight
Scored Heavily on Claranoe.
“You young men ere so deceitful
sad so insincere I” sighed the pretty
maiden. “I don’t know what to isy.
Clarence Hargus tells me I in
worth my weight in gold. Think of
the abeur"—
“In gold!” exclaimed voting
•more, with indignant fervor,
atilla, you are worth your
tin-radium 1"
never had. tha ghost of a
CASTOria
Atbgelable frepataiionfcr As
similating dtelbodandReffula-
tingtheStomachs ondBowcBof
mmm
Promotes Digcstioii.Chrcrfu! -
ness and Rest.Conlalns ncitlier
Onium.Morphine nor Mineral.
Not Narcotic.
nnft^nua-siMvamaaR
/I«yJA .W-
££Sti-
lion, Sour Stomach.Dial
Worms .Convulsions .Feverish
ness and Lobs of Sleep.
facsimile Signature of
NEW YORK.
EXACT COPY Of WRAPPER
Tor Infants and Children.
The Kind You Have
Always Bought
Bears the
Signature
of
Use
For Over
Thirty Years
CftSTQRIA
D. & O. LOTT.
Eeal Estate and Rents.
We Advertise
Extensively
AND FREE
AllJProperties listed
with us
Offices Johnson Block, Lott Street,
'Phone 55; Waycross, Ga. /
trence never had. the ghost <
•iUr that.—Chicago Tribu
For Fresb, Wholesome Bread,
Cakes, Pies and Rolls,
Batronizr The
A. P. PERHAM. JR.
Notary Public,
Evening Herald Office
Telephones; office 35, residence rz
Palace Barber Shop,
Mary Street. V
Ov Reynold* PKormrro*,
Blmrlnp. HhnnipnQhiir. Hair f nttln* m
In KInt Hem HtyIh. Polite nnd car*, jf
ftil'n'twitlon, \
Waycross Bakery,
Fritz L. Braun, Prop.,
Clean methods, {First class bakers. Let us serve you.
Hot Rolls
Every afternoon at 5 o’clock.
Telephone No. 72,
Cottingliain'Building.
Waycross, Ga-
or the complaint will become chrome
lay on either side the railroad track
and asked:
“Is this the outskirts of Balti
more?”
- Just then the train whisked into
a tunnel like a rabbit into its bar-
row, and-Mr. Love shouted out glee-
fulhr ia the darkness:.
“No; it’s the underskirts.”—Bal
timore American.
Inc., I. DEATH
The Seal* Pharmacy cm tell yon all
/.bout Dr. CarlzMdt'a German Liver
'I'owder; it h.a cared ' many of their
ccrtomer. who ar. recommending It
<0 tn.lr IrienJ*.
Batter than testimonial, la the guar
antee coder which D-. CayleteiO'e
German Liver Powder f. auld. If it
doea not railave and core you It will
coat you nothing, ao go at nnet and
procure the remrdr and taka along
thia guarantee.
Contest
continues
'until
November loth.
Read the
Conditions
All girls under 14 years of age living
in thik vicinity may compete for the
prize. i ..e Buck’s Junion Kange will
be given to the girl who cuts out and
brings us the greatest number of our
ads containing Buck’s trade . marks-