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THE DAWSON WEEKLY JOURNAL.
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Professional fcards.
Dr,R, G, JoneStDfintist,
OFFICE up stairs over J. W. Johnston's
Brick store. April 27, ly.
B. F. BIVUONB, T. H. PICKETT.
snunofbA i'ic ai: tt
ATTORNEYS AT LAW
DAWSON - GEORGIA.
JAMES KEEL
ATTORN iY AT LAW,
Leary, Callibiili Cos., Ga
~C. B. WOOT KM,
Attorney at Law,
tf/BArr, - omonetta.
lI’ILL practice in the State Courts and in
” the Circuit and District Coutts of the
tJnited States in Savannah. sept 27.
J. J. BECK,
Attorney at Law,
'•rsan, Calhoiiii Conii»yT®a.
Will practice in the Albay Circuit and else
*here in the State, by Contract. Prompt at
teaiian given to all business entrusted to his
'tre. Collections a specialty. Will also in
♦•stigate titles and bUv or sell real Estate in
•tlbuon, Baker atid Parly Counties.
march 21-ts
L. Q CARTLEDGE,
Attorney at Law
fIORGASf, - - GEORGIA.
\I7ILL give close attention to all busi
ne§g entrusted to his care iu Albauy
Circuit. 4-1 v
L. C- HOYLi
Attorney at Law-
Dawion, tieorgiit.
FIELDF.H IDUB L. FIELDER.
B-&I. L. FIELDER,
attorneys at law
tuthberl, - - tieorgia.
y\7ILl, give prompt and vigilant attention
to all business confided to them in
couti'iea of Randolph, Stewart, Quitman,
errell. Clay, Calhoun and Early, the Su
preme Court of Georgia, and the U. S. Dis
-rtet and Circuit Courts for the Southern
Dtstnet of G-orgia.
Office over city Post Office Oct. 2 if.
D. H. MILLER,
at i,aw,
Morgan' <>n.
in Ordinary’* Office. 080,8 m
JANES H.GUERRY,
Attorneys at T.aw,
D, <HBSfIW, - GEonaia.-
oflsoe 'be Court House. Feb. 4
r * L- JAN® S,
ATTORNEY at law,
daw soy, 3 GEORGIA.
OSee over J. t|\ Johastos’s strut. Jaol
' Vl *V'||« bog’s i„ »| WII .„
< old.
BT MADGE ELLIOTT.
“Whrt makes the di g’e hose a ways
cold ?”
I’ll try to toll yon, curls of gold,
If you- will pond and quiet Go,
And come and stand Ly mamma's knee;
Well, years, and yeurs, and years ago,
How many I r-a ly don’t know—
T oro catno a lain on sea and sLore*
Its like was never seen lielore
Or since. It fell unceasing down,
Till all the world began to drown,
Bur just before it began to pour,
An old, old man—his name wasNoub
Built him an ark, that he ui.gtu save'
His fam’ly from a wate’rygrave;
And in it also he designed
To shelter two of every kind
Os best. Well, dear, when it was done,
And hevy clouds obscured the sun,
The No»h folks to it quickly run, ’
And then the animals began
To gravely march along in p >i>« ;
The leopards, tigers, wolves,and hears,
Ti e deer, the hi|.po| otau.nses.
The ranbits, squirrels, elks, walruses,
The camels, goats, cats and donkeys,
The tali girffes, the beavers, monkeys,
The rats, the big rhinoceroses,
The dromedaries and the liorsett,
lhe sheep, > nd mice, thekaugaioos
Hyenas, elephants, koodoos,
And hundreds more- ’twouid take all
day,
My dear so man names ta say—
And at the very, very end
Os the processor:, by his friend
And master, faithful J.rg was seen,
The livelong time he’d helping been,
To dtive thecrowdol creatures in;
And now, with loud, exultant bark,
He gaily sprang aboard the Ark.
Alas! so crov.ded was the space
He could not in it find a place;
80, patieutly he turned übcut
Stood halt way in and half way out.
And those extremely heavy show’rs
Decended though uine hundred hours
And more; and darling, at the close,
Must frozen was his honest nose;
And never could it loose again
The dampness of that dreadful rain;
Aud that is what, my curls oi gold,
Made all the doggies’ noues cold !
[Baldwirit Monthly].
The King uud tire Farmer.
Ki ng Eiederick, of Prussia, when
he was out riding one duy, saw on old
farmer who was ploughing in a field
and singing cheerfully over his work.
“You must be well off, old man,”
cried the king. “Does this acie be
long to you on which you so industri
ously labor?”
“No, sit;” replied the old man, who
of course lad no idea that he was
speaking to the king ; “I am not so
rich as that, 1 plow for wages.”
“How much do you earn a day?”
asked the king.
“Fight groschen,” returned the old
man. Thai would be abogt twenty
cents of our money.
“That is very little,” said the king.
“Can you get along with it?”
“Get along! Yes, indeed, I have
something left.”
“How do you manage?”
“Well,” said the farmer, raiding, “I
wi 1 tell you. Two groschen are for
myself and wife; with two I pav my
old debts , two I lend and two I give
away ior the Lota’s sake.”
“This is a mystery which I cannot
solve,” said the king.
‘.Then I must solve it for you,” re
plied the farmer. “I have two old
parents at In mo, who kept me and
cared for me when I was young and
weak, and needed caie. Now that
they are old aud weak, I am glad to
Keep aud care for them. This is my
debt, aud it cost me two groschen a
day to pay it. Two more I spend on
my children’s schooling. If they are
living when their mother mdlareold,
they will keep us and pry back what
I ltnd. Then with my last two gros
chen 1 support my two sick sisters who
cannot work for themselves. 0 1
course I am not compel ed to give
them (he money} but I do it for the
Lord’s sake.
“\V e Ji done, ad man,” cried the
king as hefiuished. "Nuwlau going
to give you something to guess Have
you ever steu me before?
“No,” (.aid the farmer.
“In less than five minuets you shall
see me fifty times, and carry in your
your pocket fifty of my likenesses."
“This is indeed a riddle that I can
not guess,” said the laruier.
“Then I will solve it for you,’ re
turned the king; and w ith that he
pot his hand into his pocket, and pull
ing out fifty gol d them
in the hands ol the farmer.
“The coin is genuine,” said the king,
“for it also oomesifrmn our lord God,
and lam his paymaster. I Hid you
good-bye.”
And be rode off leaving the old man
overwhelmed with surpme end de
light
DAWSON, GEORG I V THURSDAY. APRIL 19, 1877
A Tlorlei'ii Hovel.'
Vol. r.
A winning wile,
A sunny smile,
A leather;
A tiny talk,
A pleasant walk
Together.
VOF. 11.
A little doubt,
A playful pout,
Capricious!
A meiry miss,
A *t< len kiss,
Delicious!
vol. iti.
You ask ma,.it» a,
Consult pa 1 a,
*' ith pleasure;
And both repent,
This rush event,
At leasure.
«'!iool Boy 011 Corn*.
Corns are of two kinds—vegaialde
and animal, X egetable corns grows
iu rows, and animal corns grow s on
toes. _ here are several kindsof Corps,
there is the unicorn, the capricorn, corn
dodggers, field corn, and thecorn, which
is the corn you feel the most. It is
said, I believe, that gophers like corn,
bu perh-.ps those baviugcorus do not
like to “go fur,” if they can help it
C rns havecolonels, and colonels have
coins. Vegetable corn grows Git the
feet at the other end of the body.
Another kind of corn is the acorn;
these grow on caks, but there is no
hoax about the com. The accrn is a
corn with an indefinite article indeed.
Try it and see. Many a man when
he has corns wishes it was an acorn.
Folks teat have corns, sometimes
send for a doetc, and if sh« doc tot
himself is corned, he probably went
do as well as if he isti’t. The doctor
says corns are produced by tight boots
and shoes, which is probably the rea
son why wber a man is liglitthey sliy
he is corned.
It a farmer manages wt 1) he can
get a good deal of oorn on an acre, but
I know a faimer that has one corn
that makes the bigeet at her ou his
farm. The 1 igger crop of vegetable
thi't a man raises, the better be does
not like it. Another kind of corn, i 8
the corn dodger. The way itismadeitis
very simple, and as follows—that is if
you want to know; You go along the
streets and meet an old maid you know
his a corn, and cross temper; then
you step on the t< © that has a com
on it and see if you don’t have occa
sion to doge’er. In that w yyou will
find out whet a corn dodger is.
How Rice Mr on id be Cooked.
Mr. F. B Tburbur of New York,
writing from Japan to the American
Grccer, gives the following account of
the Japanese method of cooking rice:
Kice here is worth froui $1.50 to §1.75
per picul if 133 pounds, or about one
aud one eighth to one and three
eight cents per pound. At first
thought it seems as if there might
be a profit to import it into the United
States, hut .ur duty ol two aud one
half cents per pound, together with
freight, insurance and premium on
gold, brihgs It up to a figuro where
the>-e is no margin. They do know
how to cook rice here, though, and
for the benefit of grocers and consu
mers in the United States, I iu.esti
gated the matter. Only just enough
cold water is poured on to prevent the
rice from burning to the bottom of
the pot, which has a close fitting cov-r,
and with a moderate fire, the rice is
steamed rat' er that! boiled until it is
nearly done ; then the cover is taken
off the surplus etoam and motsturo al
lowed to scape, and the rice turns
out a mass of snow-white ke r nels*
each separat" i r»<tli the other, and as
much superior to the soggy mass we
usually get in the Unite;’ States as a
fine, mealy potato is to the Water
soaked aiticle. I have sesu some
thing approaching this iu our South
ern States, but I do not think even
there they do it as skilfully ns it is
done here, and in the Northern ’-tates
but very lew poisons understand how
to cmk rice properly. lam sure that
if cooked as it is 1 ere, the consump
tion of this wholesome aud delicious
cereal would laigoiy increase in
America.
Mr Logan once told a story of the
iutrepid hunter who secured a “tail
holt” on an immense bear, and shortly
aft-rward* was beard bellowing for
help' “What do you waot he p for ?”
inquired a comrade. “I want fio.no
one to help me let go (his bear,” re
i plied the stranger. Mr. Hayes evi
! dently wants someone to help him
i let go Packard and Chamberlain—
IV* World,
SAJI IIOIIHTOt .4*o tIG
II * TI.
A President IVIIO Coiild’t Pay
lor Ills Breakfast.
On a recent trip to Houston I had
fora tiaveling companion a well-known
merchant of 'his city, who to and story
after story of early days iu Texas. —
One struck me as wort proservi: g
“When my father fiistcame here,”
said the merchant, “he settled in
Houston—then tho capital of Texas
I was put in a grocery and provision
store under a very stiict aud parsi
monious boss. One morning just as I
had swept out, Tom, Gen. Houston’s
body sen ant, came into the store. —
Licking round he spied a line ham
II rara avis in those days. Having ask
ed the price, tie said he would take it
arid the President would cm II around
and pay for it I felt proud of my
sale, and called the attention of the
bus! to it as soon ns he came in.
“Did you get the money,” he asked
quickly.
“No; hut President Houston is
coming round to pay for it.”
“President Houston—the devil.—
Die. Tom say he would see it paid ?”
“Then you are a fool. Now, sir,
you go straight to the Pies dent’s
kitchen and bring nie that ham, un
less Tom ill say it shall be paid
for.”
I started off very much Crestfallen
and not liking tho job before me.—
But I resolutely walked into the Presi
dent’s kitchen. Tom was there. I
saw my ham lying there, with a few
sli os cut off it, and seizing it, told
T im, unless he would undertake to
see that the money was paid, I must
take it back.
“Tom cogitated awhile, and then
said; ‘Y.Ung matt, taka back your
meat. The Gineral is a mighty good
master, but a mighty poor paymaster,
and I don’t kecr to invoWilate myself
with his debts ?”
“This was enough for me. I left
with the ham in my hand. Going
around to the gate 1 had to pass the
front door. There stood Genera!
Houston, the President of Texas, with
a pocket handkerchief in one hand
and a toothpick iu the other. ‘My
little mau,’ says he, in his supeib
manner, ‘tail your master 1 am under
groat obligations lor a most delic'ous
break fi ns', and would pay him, but 1
really haven’t got the money. The
fact is, J'nung man, !exas is very poor
and, as her President, I must share
her poverty.”— New York Sun.
.4 Sailor lad'* IKctipc from
sharks.
Captain Gunson, of the ship Dat
terdale, relates a thfiiing story of the
escape of one his ship’s l oy* from tho
maw of a shark. The ship was in the
tropics, wich wind enough to keep the
canvas flopping,and o. e ol trie appr n
tices was ovrr the weather side clean
ing off. The Captah, standing on the
poop deck, noticed the boy was care
less, and warned hint to look out for
himself and not tumble overboaid. —
The ship was going about three knots
an hour, aud (be sea almost as cairn
as a mill pond. The lad, iu a uiu
rueut of carelessness, lost his balance
and tell from the platform slung over
the tide. The Captain aaW the acci
dent and threw him a ladder, which
the boy grasps i and clambeied up the
rounds ns the ship lefi him astern
No s-oner had the boy set'led liini
enlt on the ladder thau a brace of
large blue sharLes ranged up along
side, aud actually reared their heat's
out of the water in their eagerness to
taste the yimug sailor. The boy
scieamec lustily and grew half fiantii
from terror. The ship wue hove to
and a boat Wes lowered. Still the
boy bung on tho ladder, tiying to
keep bis legs tree from the snapping
of the Vicious shark.-, which seemed
actually to jump out of the water to
get at him. After tome twenty-five
minutes of horrible suspense a boat
was lowered and he got into it. As
suun as the luj found himselt safe he
fainted. It was a fearfully narrow
escape.— Hrm Frandtco Mail.
A Western chemist thought he
could saw trees down by means of red
hot wire. The wire broke, coiled
arotmd Ills neck, snd he gallop)' and into
a poud anJ out of the business.
He held the oil shirt up by the
neck before discarding it forever, but
I e wasn’t mourning for the garment.
He only said, “I wish I had all the
d>inks again that have gone through
that old ueck baud!”
lllii< kbori«‘N it I’rofitnhu! Crop
lot' Cieorjfits.
Under this head, the Chrcnieh and
Constitutionalist has the following on
this subject:
j Last year n portion of North Carc
! linn, and particularly about Salem.
! did a thriving business by shipping
I dried blackberries to Chicago, a firm
iu that city having offered fifteen
cents per pounl for them ic any
quantity. It cost one cent a pound to
carry these berries from Salem to
Chicago, and hence tho Salem mer
chants could afford to nay tl 0 country
people from soven to twelvo cents a
pound for them. Tho little town of
Salem, with scarcely over 2.000 in
habitants, shipped during three years
over three millions of pounds of dried
blackberries, for which it received
§450.000, or nearly’half a million dol
lars, equal to nine thousand bales of
cotton at ten cents per pond.
The crop is, of course, abundant—
almost infiuito. The old fblds litera 1 -
ly swarm with tho busy pickers du
ring the season. Frequently whole
families turn out at eatly dawn and
pick blackberries till dark. A bushel
of berries will yield twelve pounds of
diied fruit. At 15 cents per pound,
this will make the fruit worth §I.BO
a bushel. It is estimated that it costs
two cents per pound to dry the fruit.
It is dried in the simplest manner, be
ing simply spread out cn boards pud
left in the sun. The smallest child in
the family can watch the berries as
they are drying, and carry them
through tho whole process. Dedust
for the gross cost on" cent per pound
fur freights, two ceuts for drying, and
say two oeßts for the merchant’s prof
its, and we have the net revenue of a
bushel of borribs to the picker,
fixed at §1.20. A child can easily
pick a bushel a (lay. A laborer with
five or six children, or a widow with a
lot of h -irns, will find it a perfect God
send to have them each bring in a
revenue ts *1 20 a day.
The merchants in Salem had unlim
ited orders for the berries, and could
have sold ten times the quantity they
were able to pr cure. The berries
aie used for pies, for eating and lor
distilling purposes. Tney are expor
ted regulurly to Europe; and especitl
ly to Geimany, where they are consid
ered a great luxury.
This trade gave employment to a
laige number of people in North
Carolina during the season last year.
Men, women and childien support
themselVes by it.
The section about Augusta is fam
ous for i’s blackberries and we see no
reason why the trade could not be
made as profitable here as in North
Carolina.
I»i a(li «>f Clio Largest Hun in
Ohio.
Those who have attended the con
ventions held aunually nt Put-iU-Bay
by the Fat Mbit’s Association cannot
fail to remember, among the members
of thut socie’y, John Templeton, the
h avy weight cf the asss'tciation,
who* we regret to 9ay, has just died at
his home near Swauton, Fulton coun
ty. Mr. Templeton was the largest
man in Ohio, bis weight being 505
pounds. lie was President of (h«
Ohio Fut Men’s Association, and had
many warm personal friends among
the liiembeis of the organization
in this State and similar societies in
adjoining States. We w»iepersonally
acquainted w ith him, and that his loss
will be keenly felt by m.itiy of the
jolly heavy men who aunually do
congregate at Put-in-bay. At the
c nventions held ut that island by the
Fat Men, Mr. Templeton was the
cenfbr of attraction. Our own genial
O’Hagan’s monster “fat man’s Valise,”
which is about the sir.o of a cottage
at the seaside, would liavo been a’,
most too small for a tobacco box f r
Templeton. The tioW d9ad Piesident
of the association was so adipose that
it was with difficulty that he could
walk. There was certainly a very
striking contrast between him and hia
wifi*, who survives him and wrio only
weighs about ninety pounds. Those
who remember seeing Mr. Templeton
entering or leaving the convention
room a: the Pul-in-llay House during
the sessions of the association, leaning
upon the arm of his little wile, will
not soon forget the merriment provo
ktd by the couple, who enjoyed trie
Inn *s much as did tho spectators.—
Samlutkij llegiet#r.
“What branch of education do yon
have chiefly in your school?” “A wil
low branch, sir; tlie master has used
up almost a whole tree.”
Ca’ifornl.ipanbirsn >wcravr! into hol
low o> 8 t<> escap • die pursu’t of Cali
fornia girls. Where can California
men goi
A BLACK F 4 KAIL
An olitnige him! 11 prompt pail
i Hnii‘lll l.yiif li Lau tu
Lafourrliu
Tein iDACjt, April 7—On Thursday
last, about mid lay, two liitle girls
one a daughter arid the other n niece
of Mr. Felix Fa'gout, a respectable
citizen of this parish and a raiher
prominent member of the re(ublican
party were amusing themselves by
fishing in the canal which runs along
the track of Morgan’s Riilroad, at
about one milo east tis the L fourche
crossing.
While thtls engaged, a colored mtr,
a giant in size and strength, came
along the track arid accosted them.—
After a few cusual questions asked Ly
the mail and replied to by tho chil
dren, the brute suddenly threw him
self upon the eld ret girl, lhe daughter
of Falgout, who is not yet thirteen
years of age, and hy force accom
plished her ruin An n's ni was at
once sounded, and after an exciting
chase of several miles, in which both
races joined with equal s; iris, the
monster was arrested and lodged iu
prison. A preliminary examina'iun
was regularly held on Thursday bsh le
our parish Judge { and all of the facts
of the revolting case were developed.
Tin evidence was damning ai.d left
no douhta in the mian of any as to
the ques’ion of guilt. Indeed, such
evidence was not needed, as tie man
made no attempt to coucoul bis crime,
but confessed openly ar.d repeatedly
that be was guilty, and with a hellish
effrontery seemed rather to boast of
the exploit, ami threatened to repeat
the offense. When rec..niuiit‘ed to
prison he boldly stated his intention
to escape aud wreak summary ven
geance upon his captors In a word)
the rcckiess villainy of the man Was
almost incredible. It will net be
thought stange, therefore under the
state of facts that nur usua’ly quiet
and orderly community became exci
ted, or that such excitement should
culminate* as it has just done, ii tho
denth of the wretch at the hands of
Judge Lynch.
Last night, about midnight, alargo
cicwd of persons of both races entered
the town and went to tliejiil, an'! by
moans of sledge hammers tho doors
were buist open, and within a few
minutes the man, was dangling at the
end of a conV meat rope. The act
was that of b 111 blacks and whicef,
Republicans and Democrats indiscrim
inately. The father of the child was a
Republican iu politics.— N. O. J)m.c
crut.
An Aialmiiiti Jury’s Astonish
ing Verdict.
A jury in Alabama had teen im
paneled in lhe rase of a Air. John
son charged with ki ling his Wife.—
The evidence whs positive and conclu
sive leading no doubt "f Lis speedy
conviction. To the amazement of all,
the jury, after n short absi nee, return
ed a verdict: “Guilty of horse Steal
ing.” The Judge astonished, asked
an exp!unati rrt, stating that the indict
ment was not for horse stealing, but
manslaughter. The foreman with Ins
hand upon a huge law book, ad with
an amusingly dignified air, informed
the court that “it was not a c»se of
manslaughter, but for woman slaugh
ter, for which the law made no prvis
ron ; hut being satisfi -d the man de
served to he barged, thej tiad brought
in a verdict of horse stealing which
in that country, would be suro swing
to him.”
A Comedy of I'riors.
There was a curious comedy of er
rors that cnnio noar being a tragedy
at 8..n Francisco recently. A sailor
returned from sea and found bis
young wile fondling a baby. With
out giving hes a change to say that
the child was a ne’gbor’s he knocked
her down and then tried to throw
her from the window. A crowd gatli
eisil below, and the man stabbed bis
wife in tho back, jumped from tbe
window, and escaped tmliuit. But
sumo of the Ctowd bad ehtfcrrd the
house, and; going to the wrong room,
awoke a s'e. per, who emptied his re
volver on them, hut was dragged to
tbe street and was just being hanged
to a lain; -post* when the 11 intake Was
ascertained, though not before a rib
or two was broken by tbe mob. The
woman was not much hurt, and is
anxious to have her litisbnud find bis
mistake and teturn.
Why ti/r Votk was Lara*.-A
Washington telegram relates that at
in ioteiview between Hayes and
Hampton die former called the latter’s
attention to the Very largo l)em< cmtic
vote in Edgefield County, as compared
with forniot years, and sail to the
Governor: “This is hardly to be ac
counted tor by an inciease of popula
tion,” and asked him how he could
account lor it. Hampton replied:
“You forget, sir, that at ten po ling
places in Uis county a latgb number
of soldiers wero stationed, and I un
derstood that they all voted for me ”
This amused Mi, Hayes, who laugh
ed very heartily and said : “Well, it
the soldiers have i ot to going for you
it ought lose’tie the case.”
A boy camo down Lin wool Avenue
on the rush, a few nights since and,
iti an excited manner said that there
Were a lot of lights in the Jewish
liuiinl giound. Half a dozen scien-
tific men, four loaters and a dog star
ted tdf to geo them. The graveyard
tf*s as dark as such places usually
are.
“Where are the lights?” naked a
big man of the boy.
Toe youngster ba' ktd off to a safe
distance and yolletl out:
“Uudtfrgtoi.il 1; tmy are Is.es'
ites ”
Vol. XH.--NO. n.
FIIF*.
We often hoar of a man beingin ad
■ Vince of his age, ut who ever heard
of a woman buing it! such a predica
! ment?
A youthful granger nboht td be
| chastized by his father the othei day,
called for his giaudfather to ptotect
j him from tho middleman.
I Funset Cox l.aa a way of stnilling
! ai an audience that makes everybody
wonder if hedoesu’t have star w her res
and cream the year round.
A mao in Oswego reccebtly had on©
hundred and twenty-five pounds of
Warts taken off his hands. A yourg
mau named Wiight mariied her.
The Rochester fltmocrut remarks
that “it is not inspiring to hear the
man against tho lamp-post remark
‘Peace’neartli, g’wil! torner. —whoop !’
Josh Billings says l e knows people
who are so lond of argument they will
stop and “dispute with a guide-board
about the distance to the next town.”
While a man was singing the other
day, “There’s a Good Time Coming,”
another man arose anl said, “Would
you kindly fix the exact date?”
A St. Louis grocer had a pound of
sugar leturned vtith a note stating:—
“Too much sand for table use, and not
eii.ugti far building purposes.”
A conespondent writes askingfor a
“remedy far ah apple-troo worm.”—
llow can wo prescribe until we know
wl at is the matter with the worm?--
Ifoi'on Advertiser.
A Kentucky editof remarks that
ninety-nine out a hundred people
make a g-eat mistake when they cut
off a dog’s tail, iu throwing away the
wrong end.
An Irish gentleman, hearing of a
fiieml having a stone coffin made for
himself, exclaimed: “By mo sowl, and
that’s a good idee! Shure a s’ona
coffin ’ud last a train a lifetime.
A correspondent out in the suburb
wantr to know “the bast *ay to make
a hot bed.” If Jam are a married
mat), crawl into bed rather late, with
y.mr boi t') on.
A belated citi* n, from whom a
p liceman was trying to re-cue a lamp
post a lew mornings ago, violently
resisted tho endeavor, exclaiming:
“Jumi me ’lone; I’m (hie) lioid’u tli’
fort.”
Claira Morris rode a vpry wild mu ;
tang tlio other (lay, and fairly con
quered him “I know all about ri
lling,” she said, to begin with. “Yi.u
must first mount and then you mus
statig on.”
A colonial farmer, who lost a sheep
advertises thus:—“Lost otstrade from
me .a aliepe 1.11 over with oue leg was
blank and it had a black head. All
shall receice a reward of five dollars
to bring to me. lie was a she goat.”.
“What we want is new men ai.d
new measures,” Said a politician to art
darkoy. “Yes, (lai’s §O, boss,” said
the ancient Airican; “de grocery inerf
doesn’t gib us '.ut ’bout uiue quarts
to do peck, and I’eo gwine iff for do
new measures, you be* 1”
A Wisconsin editor iilustratss she
preveitiag extravagante of the peo
ple of the present day by calling at
tention to the costly baby carriages in
use now, while, when he was a baby,
they hauled him around by the hair
of the head.
“A man named Hell died recently
in Brit Lake City.” Brother Biigham
and tho other Mormon leaders do not
mourn for him v* ty much, striving, as
they do, to find consolation in the
thought that,- although Hell cannot
come back to them, yM they shall all
go to Ilell.
Said a uistinguised politician to bis
son : '“Look on ine! I began as an Al
•*e. men, a .and here 1 am at tho top of
the tree; and what, is my reward?
Why, when 1 die, my son wi I be the
greatest raseain theii y.” To this the
yo ing hopeful replied :--“Ye', dad,
w him you die—but not till then. ’
A darkey who had been asleep on
the rea- platform of a train of cars
that came into the depot a few days
evenings since, fell otf as the train
stopped. He struck on the top of hia
heed rn the ground, and g tting up
he gently remarked, “Well, what’s de
trouble now?”
l’icnies ara a great institution.—
Nothing else so relieves the bfain aud
lefieslns and invigora’es a fellow a*
a day’s picnicking in the sylvan dell*,’
amid red-hot Urn r.adfr, babbling
brooks, nature’s smiles, rancid sardines,
ti.tilling flirtations,and all that makes
the heart stand on cue leg and whoop.
But it is death on white pantaloons
As that old blind Mexican was
gro:ping Ids way past one ot our sa
loons this morning, a practical hum
orist punched hint in the back with a
cane. The backhaned lick the o'd
fellow suddon'y let fly with Iris • ick
struck thiee majors and two colonels,<
and it it had been three inches longer
it woo'd have Clipped two professois
and n dog.
“Salt” was tho subj, et of the speech
of a solemn anil spare-faced clergy
man befme a Sunday school, on an
anniversary occasion, the text being,’
“Ye are the salt of the earth.” lie
i xplaineil to the youthful hearers tha
presetvitive qualities of salt, and es
pecially its power to keup eatables
fumi decaying Then he told (hem
how Ghtistiaus and especially minis
ters, were of advantages to the world
as a polity ing influence against the
corruption of modem society. Then
lie asked a lew questions. To ‘what
are miuisters suseful in this World?
i A lively yi ungfiter gne the ready
siis >t>r, “To keep » ill S .101* *pll*