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HO VL & SIMMONS,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW.
ik*w «;.r, - - ot ontit.i.
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WOOTEN,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
21y Dawson, Oa.
DR.C. A. CHEATHAM,
DAWSON, CiEOKCIA,
Office, South West earner PulUc square.
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Janl-1807.
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J. 6. S. SAIITII,
(JUN BMITH and
Machinist,
t t Georgia.
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G. Tarks, Dawson, Ga. jls
* c. w. WARWICK.
.11 ormg al hate and Solicitor
in Mguity.
j.ninsi'ihhh . . . Gro.,
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v t and Weha.er.
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11 MORGAN will practice in all the
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co., Ga. may 11,1 y E. 11. PLATT
ToT RANDOLPH HARDEN,
Allorncy «t Law,
jui.fim vi teiHi.nr. o.i.
r jr~ li. STEWART,
HTTORXEV AT LAW,
C it.l Sheri, ndolph Cos., Oa.,
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E L. D3IJ'£SLAS3 t
Jk.ti orney at I ,
Jane 1 C f TOT it TANARUS, 0 ./.
J. E. HIGGINBOTHAM,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Morgan, Calhoun Cos., Ca.,
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western and Pataula Circuits, June 1
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ATTORNEY AT LAW,
CAMILLA, IMitrlicll Cos., «a.,
AGENT for purchase and sale o
LAND. June 1, 1806.
DR. S. G. lIOBhUSON,
SURGEON DENTIST
Mey 4 Cuthherl, Georgia.
J C L. MARTIN
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E r ; F.< C1..1 s : lahum a
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IES and COMMERCIAL-FERTIL
IZERS,
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oct26 .Im.
y <>i. ii.
THEFATCLIENT;
Or, The ittfal, The !7l;ti<l<n
and the Millioimric.
(being a chapter from the legal ex
periences of erastus belmore,
esq., attorney-at-law.)
BY KENWARD HENRY PIHLTP.
Dead broke! It is ungramatical,
butexpte'-sive
Ii Orestes, who is so demonstrative
of his affection for Pylades, on the
stage, has with harrowing frequency
refused 10 lend that worthy a dollar in
the giren-room, the bond of sympathy
between persons in social life who nei
ther entertain nor prof ss an exaggera
ted affection for each other viewed from
pecuniary standpoint, must be very
silght indeed- The tendency of hu
man nature is to show very slender re
spect to a man who is “dead broke;”
but herein the world is wrong, for im
pecunious people are, socially, the best
follows in it.
There is a coitain pleasure in being
“dead broke” which, if not carried far
enough to be monotonous, is sufficient
ly exciting to experience. There is n
variety of the comp'aiiit, I understand,
which is called “flat broke,” and an
other, variety known as “strapped
but in what essential particulars they
differ from “dead broken” I have not
been able to learn Personal experi
ence teaches me that there is a melan
cholly sameneqjaboiit all three.
The worst part of the business, bow
ever, is not the simple matter of being
without money ;it is the necessity—
the dire necessity, of keeping up ap
pearances under the ufflic'ion. To slap
and be slapped on the back, when you
would rather dolefully rub your empty
stomach, ns the clowns do so ludie
rous'y at the c rcus ; to laugh and joke
upronriously when you ought to be
stea thily laying your plans for the
next day’s dinner ; to cry “Ha ! ha !’’
“by -Jingo 1” and so on, when them ret
natural exclamation would be, “Dear
r.e; what an awful state of things!”
The man who can do this success
fully—he who can bat his hat over his
eyes and simultaneously smother his
feelings—is a prince among men : that
is, among such. me3 as are “dead
broke ”
All this, you will please to under
stand, I have been told by various per
sons. (It’s a funny su’jee‘, and one
worth inquiring into.) ts I al owed
you to suppose for one moment that I
am, or ever was, or am ever likely to
be “dead brokeif I were w i ling
tins in a garret in Centre street wth »
iVr Ling rush for a light, and vv'th no
prospect ol dining to-morrow, instead
of willing in an elegant apartment in
Astor place, with a cheerful fire in the
room, heavy green curta ns across the
windows, a box of cabanas on the ta
ble, and Mrs. i\ looking over my
shoulder—if all that instead of nl! this,
why then you would not read tins
sketch to the end. It's the way of the
world.
This is not egotistic ; it’s s'mply ex
planatorv. Impecu i shy is a kale
idoSen pic study Try your haul at it.
It’s charming, I assure you : so I’m
told
lias Ddinore told me, for one. We
always cull him “Has,’’ because he's
always “dead broke.” You think that
is a non sequitur, but it isn’t; if he al-"
ways had plenty of money, we ihould
certainly call him “Mr. Erastus ” You
never heard Baron Rothschild's dear
est child speak of him as 1 Rothsy,”
yet lhat is what they called his grand
father, when he sold nuts on the steps
of the Kursaal. A few dollars more
or less make all the difference—espec
ially a fes less.
lias Belmore was called by crurte y
an attorney-at-law ;to use his own
words, be was an at:orney de jure t but
a walking gentleman de facto. His le
gal business was e-NOR-rnous; si 11 ge,
in fact, that to study it out thoroughly
tie was generally obiig and to %.eep in
the office.
Ras would oxplain that this was re
ally a matter of considerable moment
to him ; he was always on hand, you
see, in case any of his numerous clients
wanted to consult him tit the dead of
night. The office was in Park Row,
on somewhere about the fifth floor,
within easy distance ot half a dozen
car routes, all the newspaper offices,
Crook & Eos’s, and the principle
places of amusement. It was a bar
ren little room, with very little furni
ture, but a large number of aggres
sive-'ooking legal books, rolls of red
tape, blotter.-, peas, and reams of legal
paper.
At the desk in the middle of the
room, on a fine day in last Fall, sat
Mr. Erastus Beltnore, deeply in
thought.
What intricate point in civil law
could he bo thinking out ? What new
principle which was to burst upon the
world like a clap of thunder?
Hush 1 Let iue describe him.
A tall youug man, with dark hair
and bright brown eyes, generally lull
of good humor and reckless lun, but
now rather doleful in expression. A
sanely cut mouth—“chiselled,” I be*
lieve, ii the orthodox word for the nose
—and an animated face.
As to Ras Belmore’s form, it was
precisely at that peiiod of transition
known to tender mothers as “just fill
ing up but Ras stood small chance
of being filled up in nis present circum
stances, unless some kindly disposed
person stepped in and did it for him
“Confound it,” he muttered, “I must
really retrench.”
W hat he was going to retr nch on
was not so clear, seeing that at that
moment he was in tho last stages of
pecuniary consumption. But this was
DAWSON, FRIDAY, FEDHIJ^RY T IR,
an exhilaraing pastime w ith him—
the making of goood resolutions. i
“11 iliai ! here’s som body coining!
up,” he muttered, as the sound of a
person a-cending the stairs interrupt
ed his inward laments
In a moment more the door opened/
and Charley Wraxall appeared He
was a particular friend of lias, and a
promising youth not altogether strange
to pecuniary vicissitudes
“Has! By thunder, I must have
85 till Saturday,” he cried, walking up
to his friend, and shaking him lustily
by ttie shoulder.
lias looked at him earnestly for a
moment
“Indeed !” ho said, in an accent nice
ly balanced between, sympathy and
surprise.
“Yes; its a matter of moment,
too.”
“Well, tny dear fellow,” raid Has,
“I am afraid it will be a matter of sev
eral moments if you expect to get it
from me!”
“But I’m broke 1”
“So arn I.”
“Completely flat broke !”
“Strapped.”
“What’s to be done.”
“I don’t know anybody.”
“Don’t be a fool, Ras I”
“Certainly not, my dear fellow ; but
I assure you I should uncommonly
like to borrow $5 myself just now.”
“Well, I suppose we shall not dine
to-d:iy, eh ?”
“Perish the*thought,” cried Ras,
striking a theatrical attitude. “See
the providence witn which* I have
guarded ourselves against so lamenta
tile a catastrophe.”
He rose and walked towards his
solitary escritoire
Wraxal: looked with all his eyes
he expected at least a fairy in short
clothes to appear and instantly con
vert the musty legal desk into a dain
tily spread dinner table
Young Belmore walked with a
tragic air to the drawer, opened it,
flourished his hand, affecti nately blew
his nose, and brought forth a paper
bag
“My dearest friend—my solitary
comtoittr.” he cried, apos rophiz ng
the bag, “to you I fly once more.—
Friend of my earliest che—ildhood,
consoler ot my rising youth, faithful in
my budding manhood, come and con
sole us once more !”
“What on eailh is it ?” said Wras
all, eagerly
“Hush ! not a word.”
With that Has placed the bag on
the desk, and motioned to his friend to
c me and sec.
“Behold !”
Charley advanced, carefully took
iioll of the paper edges, opened them
and—
“ This is too much, Has,” be cried
while the other was bursting with
laug' ter. “A | aper ol pop corn !”
“What do I tear? Slave, do you
refuse my hospitality?"
1 Oh, pshaw ! I m devilish hard up,
I tell you the delicacie- of the season,
and you thrust my hosp'tal ly in my
face. Man alive, pop born is re:om
mended ly the faculty' !”
“Curse the faculty,” growled Wras
all
1 It is highly nutritious, too ”
4 Doubtl ss.”
“A man can travel a ’eng way s£>n
pop-corn ”
‘ Thank yoii.”
“It is t ue that to 1 much of it is ’n
diges ihle. but there's no fear of that
in our case ”
“Not the slightest in mine, T a sure
you. for I don’t inlen 1 to touch it.”
‘ Charles, my boy,” said his friend,
assuming an unnatural gravity, “II
you were in my case you might com
plain. That pop-corn has grown tr
be my daily friend. It is true it is a
low diet, but then, think of Hannibal,
and Socrates, and Faistaff, and all the
other ancient Greeks, who only ate
enough to support life.”
Mr Charles Wraxall, with a flip
pancy which was highly reprehensible
murmured “Pick'es ! ’
“No, my dear friend,” advancing
and taking him effectionately by the
hand, “not even the healthy beet.”
“Do you intend this as a personal
remark ?”
“Charles l”
“Pop corn may be very good in its
way, but isn’t it rather monotonous?’’
“Well, there’s a refreshir g certain
ty about what you are going to have
for dinner when you’ve get u bag of it
by you.”
“I should think so ”
“Indeed, Charles, it is an invalua
ble friend. No family should be wi fl
out it. Children cry for it. (See ad*
vertiseinent ’’)
Has took up a handfull as he ypoke,
and commenced to eat it with every
outward sign of infinite relish, while
Wraxall loosed on in apparent despair
at the prospect ol DeVor g tting the
five dollars
Suddenly a heavy step was heard on
the stnirs
“Look out, Charley,” cried Ras,
bo'tiug the pop-corn, aDd turning Yery
red in consequence.
“Take a seat; there’s a g od fel
low.”
Charley complied, and someone
rapped at the do.,r.
••Come in ”
And in walked, accordingly, a very
fat old gentleman, evidently exhaust
ed with tho labor of getting up five
flights of stairs. Os course the two
friends were seated Ras at his desk,
in the nttitude of an attentive adviser,
and Wraxall in a chair in the attitude
of a contid ntial client
“Take a seat, Sir,” said Ras, look
ing up from a manuscript and hastily
looking down again.
“ \\ ell, that is as tho matter stands,”
said he, turning to Charley. “I’m
afraid a commission de lunaliec is the
ion’y resort!”
The ol 1 gentleman looked rather
alarmed, and then looked round for a
scat, but couldn’t see one.
| “Oh, a thousand pardons, 'said Has,
getlin r up ;*“the fact is, aim-chair
just stepped out for a moment to lunch
—in. no, 1 mean—here, take mine,
Sir!”
I With that Has nodded and winked
to Charley in a most mysterious man
ner, meaning that lie should get up
and accommodate the gentleman with
I Ins chair.
' Chari y however, had not fovgotton
itlifl pop-c rn, and “enuldn’t see it.”
I Has accidently kicked lis worst corn
, for him, and handed the cld gentleman
j his own chair
| Os course, his revenge bting gratified
j Wraxall immediately arose, ami said,.
; while Has toi k bis chair:
j “Well, Mr. Bjlin >re, I wilt leave
the matter in your hands, and shall
probably see you again soon—(it Crook
& F ix’s I ’) —lie whispered.
“Good morning !”
Charley vra* jus; walking easily to
the door, chuckling over lias's annoy
ance at »he want of another chair, when
that gentleman, putting on his blandest
smile, said :
“Oh, h’m! Mr. Williamson, I’m
afraid you hsve overlooked a trifling
little matter l”
“Eh? What’s that?” asked Charley
as he caught a glimmering of the joke.
“There's a small fee usual in such
cases, you see,” rejoined Ras with a
most persuasive smile. “In the pres
en' instanoe, say five dollars l”
Charles gasped, and stammered, and
grew red and white alternately, but at
last a bright idea struck him.
“I believe, Mr. Belmore, there is a
little accou t yet unsettled between us,
for some pop-corn which 1 supplied you
with at your earnest r quest!”
The tat old gentlemau looked from
one to t) e other in utter bewilderment,
and the two friends could stand it no
long r.
“Hal ha I ha!" roared Ras, leaning
back in his chair and shaking all over
with laughter.
“He! he! he! ho! ho! ho!” gasp
ed Charley, holding his sides in ecsta
ciei of delight
The fat old gentleman grew visibly
nervous, and broke into a profuse per
spiration. What with the strange con
duct of the young men, their mysteri
ous illusions to c immissions de lunati
co and pop-corn, and the thought that
be was up five flights of stairs, and very
fat, aid so completely at their mercy,
his tenor grew ludicrously evident,
j “P r G id’s sake !”—be began.
“Haifa! ha I” shouted Kes, with
r doubled vigor, and alunst beside bim
i s -If with laughter.
! “ITo, dear! Oh, Lord ! Oh, Lord,"
\ join and in Charley ; ha! La! ha! Oh,
] Led ! Oh, Lord!”
The fst old g> nt'cmsn grew preter
! naturally calm. lie evidently to ught
■ dial he was in tho power <f a couple of
ni dmrn, and determined, after a hasty
I prayer, .o ..wait devcl , poinent<».
1 The two fiiotids, left to themselves,
I soon exhausted ti.o r mirth, aud in a
j few minu'e Charley left,
j The old gcnfl-man wi'h a fearful 1
[glance around him, immediately made a
: msh for the door.
“Stop ! sL-p !” cried Ra=, in alarm
at the pro- poet of 1 > ing a client and
jtfce prospective five dollars.
'I ha old gentleman bethought him—
I self ih .t he was very fat, while the
! young man was siitn,nr,d he gave it up
iin despair. Ob ! Low he longed f r his
a h etij youth !
Just as ho strpped, btiwever, Ras
hurst out laughing sixain, and it was not
until hr prroeived the fat old gentle
man was s ealthily trying to flank him
that he could compose bis countenance.
“My di ar sir, pray take a seat.”
The fat old gentleman looked dubi
ously at B dmoro and then at the chair,
and hesitated.
“Well, the fact is,” he said, “I was
rather—that i: —”
“Oh, my deer sii! never mind about
that. A mere joke, I assure you, ai
thovgh it is one for which I must offer
yoi a thousand apolegies.'
Ris lud a pleasant reassuring way
with him, and the fat old gentleaian, be
ginning to be reassured took a chair.
“You needn’t sit so far away, Sir.
‘Hs! HJ ha!’ and off he flew again in
another uneotrehit le fit of laughter.
The fat old gentleman began to edge
away, with some misgivings. Ris iook
ed at him again with swimingeyes and
aching sides, ands It very much in
clined to laugh, but this time he did
not
After some more ap>ologie«, and an
other laugh or two, the fi»t old gentle
man stated uis business
It timed out the fat old man’s name
was Burgess; that he was very rich,
an) lived on Twenty-fourth street)
that his own lawyer had recently lied,
and that wanting some little advice on
a tenant question, he had seen lias’s
name on the doorway below, and had
come up to Hub’s room accordingly.
He was quite a jolly old man, and
before he Went away was quite capti
vated with the young lawyer.
Tne business, however, could not be
settled in one day, and lias toll the
old fat gentleman that he neeu not
trouble himself to come down town
agaifi, but that if Mr. Burgess woul l
give him his address, he (lias) would
oall upon him. This Mr. Burgess did
and having confidentially placed a 810
dollar bill in Has’ hand, was with great
solicitude, shown to the door by that
delighted practitioner,
Ten minut s after, B< lmore end Wrax
all ware dining togother at Orcok k,
Fox’s, the former having munificently
buried the past, and nobly loaaad bis
frfcsJ! a $5 bill. —*
It is my impression that Has di la’*
study law any more that day. I may
be mistaken, but 1 certainly thought I
caught a glimpse of him i.i tuo parquet
fit Nibln’* in the ewiiirg
The next day, howiter, Rax Was in
his usual Condi tier,—“dead br lie.”
It yet wanted three days of Saturday,
when tin 85 was to be returned, and its
return evt n then was extrim dy prob
lematical. R's began to cast about him
for moans of'fi'ling up’ the interim
At bout 3 o'clock a letter came ad
dressed, in a 1.-dy’s hand, to Erastus
11 lmore, E q., Dark Row N. Y.’
lb s wondered who it possibly cruld
come from. lle at that moment had no
lady friends who were likely to write
to him.
There had been, certainly, a young la
dy ever in Jersey City whom he used to
visit., on such days of the week as he
could sport a clean collar and get his
hair curled, but she—ah ! I will drop
the curtain over that mrlencholly epi
sode. Suffice it that the other day he
heard from a confidential source that
Blower, the butcher of Jersoy City, was
in the habit of beating his wife, and he
didn’t feel very sorry after all.
So, after pondering for some time, a
bright thought struck him.
Asa last resort he would open it.!
There’s a ehanco for a sensation !
The fratitie eagerness to open the letter,
the sudden start, the wild glaring of the
eye, the demoniac laughter, and the ter
rible thrusting hack of the hair over the
heated forehead 1
Miss Bad ’un would doit; why
shouldn’t I ?
Well, the fact is, all this din’t oecur.
Ris opened the letter very coolly,
and read, in ft very pretty Italian hand
writing, ss f .Hows :
“West 24th Street, Aug. 18. 18G6.
Mr and Mis. Burgess present their
compliments to Mr. Belmore, and beg
the favor of his company to dinner on
Thursday evening.’
That was ill.
’Dear mo,’ thougt Ras, ‘that’s very
strango. He was a very fat old gentle
man, and unless he has a very young
wife, he must have a very pretty daugh
ter.’
The more he thought of it the more
he was convinced of it, and so he de
teimined to go at all hazards.
But his clothes ?
They were dreadfully seedy. The
coat Lad been ‘revived’ by an ingenu
ous process so <f en that it was doubt
ful whether it would look well again
His boots were in such a stale that thty
would not bear trifling with, and his
pantaloons were singularly frayed about
toe rdgas.
He set to work at onco, however, to
“rejuvenate” them, as ho had d.nc on
an emergency often btf re.
The coat call and loudly f r attention.
So, taking it off, he sots about inking
the scams, and giving it generally an
extra polish. Then the pantlo ms, the
fiayrd edges of which he cut rff
with the sei-ors.
‘There,’ he s-i 1, having revived thus.-
garments.’ ‘I think thay will pass mus
t.r by gaslight.
Bit the bo its were the worst. J]y
wearing his pan;loons very low be could
conceal the dilapidated state of the beds,
but cn the right baot, just at tbo side,
there whs an unßiisUkablo tisrere,
xbieh show,d the stocking beneath.
This was a prtzler ; lias had tried
ihe inking pr ei ss before,bat bud been
horr fi and to find th t tbo exertion <1
waltfng made the st'-ekiog shift from
it« orgiml {Lee, and ihus be had spoil
ed I is hose and di-played it too.
‘l’ve got. it,’ be said, at last. ‘lts
beautiful weather, but I'll just get a
dab of mud, and put if on the si le of the
boot. Its better than ink, and a deal
more natural.
At this moment Charley Wraxall
came running up stairs, and into
tie room with his usual velocity.
•Ilello, Ras! Been reviving them again?
was his first exclamation, accompanied
by a hearty laugh
‘Mr. Wraxall,’ answered Ras, wi h
sudden hauteur, and swelling with tho
secret km wlcdge of tho invitation. Mr.
Wraxall, I fail to understand you.’
‘lla 1 ha ! ha !’
‘ln what sense am I to interpret that
rediculous exclamation, Sir ?’
‘Any sense you please, if you have
any loft,’ rej ioed Mr. Wraxall.
‘Sir 1’
‘Well, you’ro nit in the best of tem
per to-day, Ras, so i’ll leave you (id
fellow, 'i ake care of the coat, and the
pant- will take care ot themselves.
‘ln ta 1’ shaking his hand.
‘Ta, ta 1 indeed,* said Ras, in a rage
‘Ho’ll catch a Tar tar if he dnnt rniud.
You see I am not responsiple for hts
jokes, and besides, be was in such a bad
humor.
Ras wee up with unatOJt-t lined alac
rity on the next morning, and dressed
with cinsidcrable care. Ho was now
firmly conv nced there was a daughter in
the case, and was pondering whether, if
there was not, an action would ‘lie’ for
obtaining a l.gal visit uuder false pre
tenses.
Which it certainly would.
In the afternoon of that day, at about
6 o’clock, two horses might have been
seen, drawing a neat 10. king cabriolet
borrowed up Twenty.fourth street.
From that cabriolet, at the door of a
large house, deccndcd a Joung man of
prepossesing appearance, who, bavi g
whimpered something mysterious to the
driver—
‘Now drive off, and kick up an infer
nal row, so as to attract their atbn
tion”--walked up to the door and rang
the bell.
R»s was shown into a hansomely fur
nished drawing renm, where Mr. Bur
gess was waiting to receive him. There
was a good-humored twinkle in the fat
old geoleman’s eye, and an honest pres
sure in the fat old, man’s hand which
quite put Bu at ease.
Presently Mr. Burgess—if it is not
' TVo. f*.
scan datum magnntum to say so—also a
rather fat old lady, and Recorded him a
most gracious reception. Half nn hour
passed in pleasant chit chat, aud Has
was beginning to despair of there being
a danghter in the case; when the door
suddenly opened, and Miss Burgess ap
peared .
‘Good heavens !’ thouffbt Ras ; ‘what
a lov. ly girl I‘
He didn’t say go, however, but bow
ed with emprCssement.
Miss Burgess was of medium height,
and a blonde. Her hair was of a beau
tiful liqmd color, somewhat rssembl’ng
thut very fine sherry which the fat old
gentleman keeps in his cellar. Her
comp’exion was of that mix n d whi'e and
red—the purest type of womanly beau
ty, wliiob poets have to long depietod
in song, and her hands delicately
white.
She was dressed completely in white,
the day being warm, and on her right
hand repos and a handsome bracelet, which
served to sLow the cl gant -teurnure of
her wrist.
I don’t worder, for my part, that
Ras fell ever head and ears in love w th
h r on that spot she was so aroh, and
vet so simple : so rtetiiiy spoken, and,
withal, so reserved ; in fact, Miss Bur
gess was a beautiful young lady.
Rat soon foand himself in a conver
sation with the mother and daughter,
while the fat old gentleman occasional
ly put in a word of commendation or
acquiescence. The fit old gentleman
was not a fat old gentleman ot any great
conversational powers. ,
“Well,, my dear,” said Mrs. Burgess
looting at h f watch ; ‘I think we will*
not wait for Charley. H’s always be
hind time when he comes.’
‘AI ce,’ thought Has what a sweetly
pretty name!
•‘Charley,’ troubled him through ; he
didn’t like the idea of there being a
Charley in the case. Perhaps it was
only her brother ?
At any rate, Mr. Bslm -re gave Alice
Burgess Lis arm, and the fat old gentle
man escorted Mrs. Burgess and the four
went in to dinner.
They were scarcely seated when a ring
at the door was heard, aud a moment
after a man’s footsteps were heard en
tering the dinitag room.
“Ha ! you are here at last!’ said the
fat old gentleman.
‘Always late,’ said Mrs. Burgess.
Alice did not §nj anything, but smil
ed,
“Well,l rvil’y was detained by bu
siness to day ’
R s started like a racket. Good heav
ens! It was Charley Wraxall ! He felt
himself turning very red, but of eoutse
he did not speak.
That scat left for Charley was imme
diately opposite his, aud as lie came to
the table he bowed very coolly to Mr.
Belmoce, as though he was a perfect
stranger.
‘Oeunfound his impudence,’ muttered
Ras to himself.
The dinri r pasted rff pleasantly
enough, o herwise • the fat old gentle
man iv s in high go and humor • and the
fat old lady seem and to enjoy something
or (thor nni’ zmgly, while more tuan
no R ■ OiUght ttejbright tyoa of Mis
Alice fixed with a protokingly comical
ex;rnsi >n upon him.
Wi en itinner was conc’ud and, R
hastily walk, and r und to Miss Burgess to
i (lor her his arm, but Char! y was bes re
him, and 11 s lad to couteut himself
with 18 pounds, avoirdupois, of mate
rial affection.
When they arrive! ia the drawing
room, the gas wa, lighted, and Ras felt
very dubious about the looks of bis o-vat
but the fa' oil gentleman relieved him
by calling him to a corner of the room,
and asking bis opinion ou a letter he
had that day received on the tenflut bu
siness;
Happening to 1 »ok u->, however, Ris
actually diseoverel Miss Alice in the
very act of laugl ing at him, while
Charley was evidently giving her a de
verting account of the coat, &c.
“This is outrageous !’ be c.ied in a
past-i n ; and, walking up to Charley,
he immediately demanded an explana
tion.
‘Ha ! ha ! ha !’ laughed Charley.
Ras wan'g m[i xplanation ! 11a ! ha ! ha I
Somehow, everybody seemed to he
vastly fiekeled with such an idee,much
to Ras’s indignation.
As for the fat old gentlemen, be in
augurated such a scries of ucc'Uca
chuckles, that Mrs. Burgess had to slap
him ou the back to prevent bis choking
and Alice was obliged to jn‘ a key down
bis back to prevent a risk of blood to
the head.
It was all a plot—a dastardly diabol
ical plo\ Charley was a nephew ol the
fit old gentleman’s, and a cousin cl
Alice’s(but not her suiter, he being al
ready engaged.) The fat old gentle
man’s lawyer having lately died, Char- !
ley so earnestly recommended Rag, that
Mr Burgess took a special journey down j
town to see him, and, finding him a gen-1
tlcmati, despite his poverty and the 1
roughness of their first, meetiDgsoon
after entered into terms with him.
lias was to be married in the Bpring,'
I understand, and be assures me he has
quite forgotten the taste of pop-born.
A countryman not long ago, on h’s
first sight of a locomotive, declared he
thought it was the devil on wheels
‘Faith and ye’e worse than myself,’
said an Lbbnian bystander, ‘for the
first time that I ever saw the creathur,
I thought it was a steamboat hunting
for wather.’
Don’t think to get ri 1 of tbo blue
devils by getting blue yourself.
The winter of the year comes to us
every twelvemonths—the winter of life
but onee.
Iteiiii uiber the Poor.
Remember the poor !
It tear fully snoweth,
And Utterly Liovreth ;
Thou eoitldftt not endure
The‘empest’a will power
Through night’s dreary hour :
Then pitj the poor !
Ri member the poor!
The father is ljlirjf
In that hovel, dying
With sickness ol heart;
No voice cheers his dwelling,
Os Jesus’love telling,
Ere life shall deptr'.
Rrniomher the poor!
The widow is eighing
The orphans are cryiup,
Half starving for bread;
With eagerness spe.'d ye
To unpcor the needy ;
Their helper is dead.
Remember the poor!
The biby is slipping.
Is cheeks wet with weeping
On its mother’s hreaet;
Whose cough, deep and hollow*
Foretells she'll soon follow
Her husband to lestl
Remember the poor ! ‘
To him who aid lendotb,
Whatever he spendeth
The Lord will repft' - ,
And sweet thoughts shall cbe«r him,
And God’s love be near him
Iu his dying day t
" iTTf ii.
WBITTKS DT JOHN n. SURRATT IS A JMSO'M
ALBUM.
My youthful tears have all been abed,
Those April drops which flow
Like springVts from the mountain’s head
And in the sunshine glow.
The tears of youth have ceased to gush,
Like nectar from mine eye*.
And bitter ones instead I brush
Away with sad surprise.
The currents of my life grow deep,
As down the stream I float,
And all its torrents widely sweep*
Around my fragile boat:
Like some fair bird that wings its flight
Far up the azure sky,
My spirit soars with loud delight,
More glowii g lights to try.
Then round mv soul are quickly throwii
Clouds black with sorrow’s gloom,
And suddenly the winds do moan
Around some loved o’ e s tomb.
My heart is draped in darkest night*
Mv little birk is tossed,
Till in my faithlessness sod fright
I cry, “I sink ! I’m lost 1”
Ghost at Arlington.— The
residence of Rabt. E L- e has 16,000
white soldieis burn and on one side, and
the bodies of 1,600 negro soldies on the
other. The negroes win live in that, v>-
cinity frighten their children by telling
them the most f.ightful ghost stones
abmr there and • and bodies. They say that,
every night at midnight, (he ghost et
hez3 1,000 negro soldiers rise from
their graves, ami dance a ' irginia break
down on the graves of tl eir 1,600 white
comrades, and thatt.be ghosts of the lat
ter, thus unciremonioasly disturbed,
arise likewise, and attack tbo black
gl.orts, that the fight then rages between
the bLck and wl ito ghost till 1 A. ■ M
when the black ghost prevail (one black
ghost being more than a match for ten
white ones, aud drive the wbi’e ghosts
I owliug to their sepulchers ; when they
finish th«i break down, unlthcn vanish
in their own graves,
Bitovf.rßS or Josh Biu.inus. '‘H'd'
min nalur is thesame .all over the world,
‘('.opt in New Kirg'aud and thcr it ii ac
cording to ssr 'um-tuners. 4 4
‘ Rum is good in its place, and hel. ifi
the place for it.“
“If I had a bry w'n 1 d.dn't lie qure
Well i niff to sui( me, I would set. him to
t reding a retail dry goods st re.“
“When a fellow tr"s a goin down hill,
it du* seem as thu’ everything hud been
greased f>r the ok as uun.
‘He who kan were n shurt volhe
wetk an 1 keep it klc-aii, ain’t fit for en
nything else.’
‘I never knu a foi l who hadu t c good
voice.’
‘There z n ul’iMides of people fcbo
means \v 11 eruff, but how like the
devil they act.’
A barkrupt returning home one
night said to his noble wife—
‘My deer, lam rni' ed, everything
we have is in the hands of the sheriff.
Af er r few moments of silence, the
Wife looked calmly into his face and
said,—
‘Will the Sheriff sell you ?’
‘Oh, no!’
‘Will the Sheriff sell me ?
‘Oh, no!
‘Will the Sheriff sell cur children?
‘Oh ! no!’
‘Then do not say we have lost every
thing All that is most valuable re
mains to us, manhood, womanhood,
and childhood. We have lost but the
result of our skill and industry. We
can make another f rtuno if our hearts
and Lands are left us.’
Sly native city has treated me badly,’
said a drunken vagabond, but I love
her ’still.'
‘Probablyreplied a gentleman, ‘her
still is all you do love.’
A man lately enquired for letters at
a country post ffic 1 , and was told there
was none ; upon which he asked if there
was not another postoffiee in the plaoe.
The Chicago sculptor Volk has gone
to lowa t.o investigate the reported difr*
covery of marble.
There is a man in tho moon, and a
mau aud a woman iu the honeymoon.
Lawyer*’ mouths, like turnpiks gates,
open for pay.
The young lady who was driven tg
distraction, had to walk baekj