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faiuson Mtdihi Journal, Published Every Friday. E. & J.“E. CHRISTIAN EDITORS AND PUBLISHERS. Tt' HJflS—Strictly in *1 tinnier. Three months |il 00 Six months: |2 Oi* One year. $3 00 Hates of .4Jeer lining : One dollar per square of ten IlneH for the grat insertion, and Seventy-fire Cents per square for each'subsequent insertion, not ex ceeding three. One square three months $ 8 00 One square six mouths 12 Os) One square one year 20 00 Two squares three months 12 00 Two squares six mouths 18 00 Two squares one year. 30 00 £odrth of a column three moths 30 00 Fourth of a oolutnn six months 50 00 Half column three moths 45 00 Half column six months 70 00 One column three months 70 00 One column six months 100 00 Job Work of every description ere cutedwith neatness and dispatch, at moderate rates. HOYL & SIMMONS, ATTORNEYS AT LAW, iMirso.r, - - fl£o«ew. i. c. iiqtl, jin2sly. r. r. simmons. cTb. WOOTEN, attorney at law, 21y Dawson, Ga. Df* C A CHEATHAM, DAWSON, UEOKUIA, Office, South West corner Pubik square. C'fOJfTINORa the practice of Medicine in J all its blanches. lie pays soecial attention to the treatment •f all ohronic affections of either sex; and makes Womb and Secret Diseases a speciality, lie may be consulted by letter. Charges moderate. Terms Cash. Janl-1867. J.F.ALLL:N. WATCH AN,) REPAIRER JLJst JEWELER. Dawson, Gfa., J 8 prepared to do any work in his line in the very best style. feh23 ts J. (j. S. SMITH, SMITH and Machinist, I>«1 fr.V I : Georgia, Repiirs all kinds of Gun., Pistols, Sewing Mahines, etc., etc. 1 v - W. C- PARKS, A.ttornoy at Law. 11 a’B ly c. wi WARWICK. j'/nnif u at Laic and Solicitor iti Equity • 4.ntTMIW'ILLE - - - GEO.. WILL practice in Lee, Sumter, Terrell and Webster. jTaTw not! ck nJIORG V I wiil practice in all the • courts of the South western, in Irwin ot the Southern, Coffee and Appling of the U. un'Wick, and most of the coui is oi the Pa t*iiU Circuits. Office on Washington Street, opposite the Eipivss office, Albauy, Ga. mayll ly t,A \Y CARD. ri'HK wndersigned will spend to legal Jl business entrusted to his care, in South western Georgia. Office at Colbert, Randolph eo.,<ia. mayll.ly E- H- PLATT EO. RANDOLPH HARDEN, Attorney sit Law, jul.fim CUTIWEKT, GA. T. It. STEWAHT, ATTORNEY at L VIV, Culhhert, ndolph Cos., On., business entrusted to his csre will be fthfcMMf attended to. June 1 ' E L DOUCLASB, Attorney at Law, June V C UTHBEJtT, 0.1. X e 7 HIGGINBOTHAM , attorney at l aw, Morgan, Calhoun Cos., Ga., Will practice in all the Courts of the South*. western and Pataula Circuits. June 1 E. H. SHACKELFORD, ATTORNEY AT LAW, CAMILLA, MiU liell Cos., «*a., AV > "VT for purtkw and sale o LAND. Juue 1. 1866. DR. S. G. ROBERSON, SURGEON DENTIST M«y 4 Cuthbert, Georgia. MARTIN GENERAL INSURANCE ACENT AND EXCHANGE DEALER, crrairLU j •• Alabama Represents s paid Capital in A No. 1 Companies, of $22,000,000. Takes Fire, Inland, River, Marine, Life, and Acci dent risks. Losses promptly adjusted and paid. apr 27-ly. ANDERSON. W. WOODS. JOSEPH DAY, Special Part • ANDERSON &. WOODS, COMMISSION MERCHANTS AND DEALERS IN STAPLE DRY GOODS, GROCER IES and COMMERCIAL FERTIL IZERS, TUI KB BT. M.ICO.V, G.P oct2ft 3m. THE IMWSON Yol. 11. TUB TWO ANPIIIANTI. It was a beautiful evening in Sep tember. A few fleoiy clouds were floating in tho heavens, which, tinged by the ,ast beams of the King ts Day, 1 seethed like wavej of gold stirred by the balmy breeze. Nature appeared to rejoice in tho last smile of tier bride groom, while calmly falling into a qui et repose which should only bo broken by the return oi rosy fingered morn.— Twilight approached and deep mod ; the hum of the busy world was bush ed. Une by one the liitlo stars, tho Immortal fires of heaven, camo twink ling in their azure sockets, un'il the whole heavens appeared like one vast sheet studied with flashing diamonds Anon the moon lifted herself above the hills flooding vales and glens with her mellow light, while her silvery rays struggled through the leafy boughs and stole into every nook and corner. It was a night such as fafies love to make their ow n. At the base of a small mountain stood, overshadowed with poplars and tall ejrns, a mansion know n by the name of Melville Hath A few moon beams strayed through the thick loli age Into the front parlor window, wli lea dimly-lighted lamp at the oth er et.d of the room reveahd the apart ment and its contents. The furniture was plain, but ant’quated ; a few pic tures of the ancestors of the present occupants adorned the walls, some tri fling relies of the past were scattered on a small table, and a harp graced the opposito corner. Seated on a low chair by the win dow, from wlrich the heavy curtains had been swept aside so as to admit the evening zephyrs, was Fannie, the only child of Richard Melville, a re ared gentleman. Reader, would I could lescr be her to you just as she appears ! Let me say she was love ly, and when l say ’Ovely I mean a'l that this little word can impart—love ly in form, lovely in feature, lovely in dress. Adorned in simple muslin, she seemed more liko a fairy that had for a moment laid aside spirituality and assumed humanity. A shower of jet ty curls fell over her shoulders, w hich, reflecting their dark hue, shaded a throat of matchless purity. Her azure eyes spoke volumes. At one moment they would dance merrily and sparkle with delight, but ofteuer they were soft and tender. Her whoffi soul shone fourth if) one glar.ce. You might watch and gaz > for ever, and yet be unable to fathom the depth of one look. But those beautiful eyes reflect ed only on the surface tho purity, the innocence, the loveliness that were hid den beneath, in tho recesses ot the heart. '1 he rosy lips, when wreathed in a smile, were like the sunbeams dancing on the rippling waters ; but when composed they ex pres ed kiqd but firm resolution. Oh, what joy to s'p the ambrosial nectar from such a j dainty mouth ! In short, Fannie need eJ but to be seen to be loved. Having become motherless at an j age when unable to know the depth of her loss, she was petted by an indul gent father, because in this unfolding blossom he discovered the image of his fits' one. She was loved- by all who kn-.-w her and pruned by ail who saw h< r. But since we have made this imper fect acquaintance with our heroine, let; us also gain her secret. Her head is resting on her final! white hand, and an involuatary sigh escapes her lips What! can it' be that sorrow has al ready entered into this beauteous tem ple ? Has gii if already pollute! this sacred sluice of beauty ? Alas ! even so ; fur, reader, just a few momnts be foio you and I entered the room Frank Newton left her side, and but one hour a»o Charlie Raymond was here on the same errand. For two year* Fannie had been the reigning belle of the town. During this time her hand had been sought by many, and wealth, and honor, and no bility were cast in rich profusion at her feet; but she kindly and firmly re fused all. Though not at all. for among them were two upon whom she looked with equal favor. During the summer of ’s—, Fannie was spending a few months with an uncle of hers in Maryland, about fifty miles from her home. It was here that Frank Newton first met her. Hi had graduated the year before at Yale, and finished his course in a law school in New York, lie now ret ti n ed home preparatory to the entrance upon bis professional career. lie was of medium size, and what the world cnlle 1 handsome. His hair, when al lowed its own lreedom, would full in wavy masses around his finely-shaped head, but when swept back would re veal intelligence seated on her thr no A large black eye, forever lau ?hing and dancing, disclosed depths of thought and affection On his bro%v wereinde'ibly stamped honesty of pur pose and puiity of motive. To see his face was to see all those at'ributes there which are honorable and noble in man. Is it any wonder, then, that Fannie learned to love him ? Daily they role, walked, and read together; daily would Frank wend his way toward her unele’a house, drawn thither by some sweet influence which for a long i time he endeavored in vain to analyze.: At last the truth buist upon him . One day they were, as usual, ruling! oat, and coming to the bai ka of a sha dy stream, di-mounted, fast nod their horses, and having seated themselves upon a moss-covered rock, began a light conversation, which, however, was destined to end setiouly. Among other things, Funnie rather carelessly said : “Frank, I run going homo to-mor -1 row.” DAWSON, GA., FRIDAY, MARCH 1807. In ono moment all tho joys and pleas ures of the past months rushed through his memory, and he warmly asked: “So soon, Fannie ?" ( “Yes.” “Then why did you not tell me sooner of your intended departure “Why, whnHntercst can you have in my welfare that you put tho ques tion ?” Frank was taken aback by this re mark. He had betrayed l-imself. — But it was now too late to retreat. In a few words be told her the tale of his love, how her every thought and feel ing weie in Unison with his own ; told her how every pulsation of his heart was in sympathy with hers ; told her how she had become a part of his ex istence, the only object and joy worth living for, and how she hold his desti ny in her hand, either to make his life a happy ono or send him away with the blighted curse of despair upon his future. I “Oh, Frank, what do you sty ?’’ ex claimed Fannie after he had finish ed. “Nothing but v hat my heart dic tates.” “Alas, that it should have como to this !” “And will you not consent to be mine ?” “I cannot act without the knosledg of my father ” ‘•Wi 1 you not then give me hope?" “Yea, you nr ay hope.” “And may that hope be my guiiing s'ar ? ’ Upon this Fannie arose, and both mounting their horses, rode back in si lence. The next morning she left f r home. Frank was called away to it am act some business, which occupied him for several weeks. Fannie, upon arriving home, did not, however, acquaint her father with tue secret, but preferred to lock it in her o«n bosom But scarcely had she recovered from the < fFects of her journey when anew star appeared on the horizon, abon l ; to shed its rnyst- ri ous influence on her future destiny. It carne in the person of Charlie Ray mond. Charlie was a graduate of Harvard, and had finished his studies at a low school in Philadelphia. De siring some recreation, ho resolved to vi-it a relative in the vicinity of Mell ville Hall. To desoiibe Charlie Raymond would b“ to review the picture of Frank Newt n. No two brothers ever re sembled each other more. The same nobility of character and disposition were the characteratics of Charlie Raymond. The features, the expres sion, the form of Frank Newton be longed to him. Was it any wonder then, that she soon learned to love hiir: ? He was the likeness, the pi :- ,tare of Frank, and vvoykj not every gesture reo ll the image of the absent | one ? Suffice it to say, after a few : short but happy weeks, Char’ie, on j the eve of bis departure, made a do | duration of his love to Fannie, and she bad not the courage to refuse, him because she loved Inn. But she still It ad a lingering thought for Frank Even while tee one was pleading with her, she thought she heard the voice of the oUi- r. She could not love the onu«ind forget the other just at that period, for she received n letter from Frank telling of his intention to visit her. Fannie was now in distress; she felt that a decision must be made, but she could not make it. In her trouble she turned to her father and opened her heart to him ; told him how she had met Frank ; that he had loved her,and she had given him the promise < fhope. She also told him of Charlie ; that but the day previous be bad declared bis love for her; that she kn w not how to answer, for both were (quaily noble and honcrable. Mr Melville sat musing for a long time, then paced the room, but finally scented to have found a plan “Fannie, I have it.” “What ?” said she. “I mean, I cm decide for you.” “Oh, can you ?” “If you will abido by my decision.” “I will, father.” “Listen, then ; when they come to day tell them that you are yet in your teens, and that I cannot spare you at pro ent, but that you wish to put them on trial for two years, and at tho ex (iration of that time I will give your hand to tho worthier of the two. Thi3 will afford an equal opportunity to both to win the prize.” 'Ob, how can I do thre? 1 ‘lt is my wish, daughter.’ Before she could reply her father was gone. And sho hud littlo-time for re fiection, for soon after the door opentd and Frank entered. The object of his visit havji g been stated in his 'o’ter, she ktitw his errand. Ho at onee urg ed his suit with all the ardir and elo quence of youth and manhood; Taking the little hand that was lying listlessly bv her side, he clasped it in his own, and gazing into those blue eyes, appeal ed to her by all tho love ho bore her, j and by all his hopes of future happi ness Strong, indeed, must be the na ture whieh can resist 6uch an appeal. Rut she did resist. Calmly she made known her father’s wishes, bidding him wait two years and then return to re j ceivo her answer. I ‘And is this your decision V said I F-ank. ‘lt is.’ ‘Then I mug/, go. Your imago en shrined ou the tablets of my hear’, will go with me, your sweet face will bo my guardian angel agsinst evil, and till we meet again, every aspiration of my soul will he for her whom I cherish iu mv thoughts and dreams; till then, adieu !’ The door clewed, and ho was gone. Ah ! how differently would my tale end if ho had curried out his noble rcAilvo. Tho evening brought Charley Riy tr.ond. With a light step he enteied the room and began a pleasant conver sation. The^ talked till a late hour. Suddenly Charley remembered that this was his last interview, an l the thought brought hack to his memory his errand. In a few simplo words ho repeated the tale of Ids love, and ended by asking Fannie to become his wife. ' ‘Charlie,’ said she, ‘I do not refuse ; I simply ask you to postpone tho mat te- ; ia two years I will give you my nnswer.’ ‘But who will survive the changes of two years ? ‘The future will solve the question.’ ‘Be it so. Two years from this day I will return to elaini your hand. Tho bright beam of bopo w ill guido mo till then.’ lie waved hi3 hand and Finnic wa* alone. Thus two biiogs Were eon motiv ing life with bright b-ipi-«, each willing to saerifico all to n-seh the disired chj.ct, and yet one must fail. Thus it is often ia the worl-I wen stiiv nu fur something, the shadow if wbioh is for ever flitting bifore them, but which leads them further from the rualiiy. Fannie was left affine, siting in tho chair by the window where we first met her at. the opening of our story. She was left to struggle thr-- ugh twa weary years alone Those whom she lovt-d would be far away, unable to send even a kind word of encouragement, All that was dear to ffi-r was gone. She must bury her love deep iu ter own bo som. Then, too, si:o must remember how two failhful bear s were throbbing high with hipos; how with her uwu hand she must crush one or the other; h.;w sde must fill tho life rs ino cr thu other with gboih and desp.ir and iai.ke it a miserable Manx. Reader, was it any wonder she sighed ? The wheel of time, hewever much clogged it nny appear ti some to be, nioT 'd on. Tbo two years rolled away as many others have done. Aud nov, reader, let us see how it has fared with j our two heroes during this time. T ascertain their doings we must rctra our s ops and begin at the point where we for k leave o' them. Cue morning, a few weeks after the events narrated in tbo preceding chat ter, the good people of the towu i( A. in ono of tho western states, were great ly surprised to Gad two lit-tlo signs, one at the eastern end < f the town, bearieg the same of‘Frank Newton, A toroey at-Law,’ the other, at the opprsi e end, giving jn gilded letters ‘Charles Ray*- uior.d Alt'.rney-at Law.’ Some shook thoffhoads; others gravely re narked that ‘two such young men would do no good to ea'jh other ia sttab a small place while a few passed the matter over ia silence It was strange that two ' Cling men shouj i locate themselves upon the eamc sptt to practise the same pr.fusion, and unknown, to win the fame which would claim iLe same re ward; but si range things happen in this world. The two individuals in question, how ever smoothly they a! first moved aloDg, in a few days oarno iuto collision ;it happened ia this wise: —A murder had been committed ia that vicinity before our heroes’ arrival. Os course tbo ease was put into their hands. Frank took ihe part of the comm'>nwealib, while Charles appeared for the defendant, t’ho trial caused much excitement. The cnurt-room was filled to over-flowing The wituesses for the defendant were all examine 1 and cross-examined. As yet tl e commonwealth was unable to attach any guilt to the prisoner. Charley saw his way, and already felt the giow of triumph overspread his faco Th i v sion of Fannie’s sweet faoe floated over him aud urged him on. But sud denly a witness appeared on tho stand, who under oath testified that he had seen the prisoner commit the dreadful deed. This decided his fate. The jury returned a verdict of guilty. Charley had lost. For a moment he stood speechless. He saw; as it were, all his bright hopes and antioipatiens fade from his view. lie knew and felt that tho prisoner was innocently doomed ; but it W.U3 too late ; he had lost his first ease; he was van quished. This, of oourse, was a shock to Char ley from which he oould not soon rseov sr. From this time fourth popular opin ijn was in favor of Frank, while Charley was almost neglected. It soon became evident that the ono or the other would come of! a conqueror, but (hat his tri umphal car would cru-h tho other to the earth. At times Frank would speak insolent ly of his professional brother, woul-l ever slander him and make disparaging remarks on his abilities ; but Charley bore all manfully. Matters thus progress and until tho ovcutful day when our berocn were about to return to claim tho hand of Fannie as th ir reward. Frank’s pr»isc Lad beta sounded far and wide, aud his name had oneo or twice reached even the ears ol Richaad Melvil'o, while on the other hand, poor Charley was almost forgot ten. The one felt certain of success, the other almost despaired; The dav camo and with it ‘Frank Newton, E-q.' He was dressed showily sp irted various ornaments about his person, with a haughty step and self satisfied air entered tho apartment—tho front parlor cf Melville lla!l. It seemed rather a e nlesceution on his part tore turn and cl-flua Fannie for his wife—at least ha thought succss was due to him. His triumph over his rival had made j him conceited, he knew not how to hum i bly hear Lis prosperity, and; as a natural ; result, felt bis own importance Fannie greeted him cordially, but 1 Frank had as yet scarcely sea’elj him I self before the door opened aud Charley Raymond entered. lie was dress id in JOURNAL jlain black, and looked rather dij oted" lie bowed low to Fannie, raised his eyes and Lis glance lighted on Frank. Had ono ot Jupiter’s bolts suddenly flashed upon them they could not have been more surprised. Niitber was able to utter a Word. With a vacant stare they g’.-k’d upon each other for some mo ments. ‘ What 1 you bore ?’ giaped Frank, as soon as be oeuld oimuuaud words to ex press himself. ‘Yes, sir,’ was Cbarliepi reply, while a writhing look flished from bis eyes upon Frank. ‘Frank, almost annihilated by Char lie’a 000 l and d-liberate mauuer, lelt tbo blood rising to his face and rallying all bii energies to roooverhis lost ground said : ‘I came bote to speak with Miss Slel vello on priva'o business.’ ‘T t>!so am here for this same purpose. ‘Rut what righi have you to inter fere at this purl onffir moment ?’ ‘1 b 1 eve l am p'isent by tho per mission of Miss Melville.’ Aitkin he was sil- need, and a short pause ensued.. \\ bile thus waiting like two lions to gather fresh streangth ffir a u< w onset, a pierciDg cry foil upon tk.cir cars and simultaneously they rush ed out of doors to si-o the eaufo of it. Arriving :n the road, they found a man apparent ly deaJ. He was covered with blood, au 1 as a riderless sto:d was fly ing up tie road wi !i tho rapidity of air, it bnc.amo evidect that he bad been thrown from his hor-e. The body was carried into the bou-o, and alter the blood was removed some signs of life ap peared. Hut. death was near, for his skull was fractured. lie motioned a-t if he wished to speak. Mr. Melville approached and stooped over Kim, when ihe words ‘I am a mur derer!’ stiU'k upon his horrified ear. Ho rroo h and tor a moment, but wish ng to hear the whole tale of blood, he r-nee m re bent over him to catch the last word ri f the dying man. ‘lf tny tes iroaoy au innocent per s>n waa seat to the gillows. 1 was hr hod ny Frank Newton. I ’ llis voice failed—ha was dead. The father said nothing to his daugh ter —be wished to tpirc her the terrible trial. Frank disappeared; all search for him war veiu ; he had recognized the strangei—his doom wt-s scaled from that moment. Two weeks after. Fannie and Charlie wire made one. To this day Uhar’ie knows not, why Fannie accepted him in stead of Frank, but thinks that myste rious stranger bad some it ftuencc upon the decision Charley did not return to lus formir home, but entered anew field, where he and his Fannie arc n w prosperous and happy. Coa.N and Iloaa.— From carefully conducted experiment 3 , by different persons, it has been ascertained that ono husfiw(nßWbtfn will make a little over 10} p unds of pork—gross. Tak ing the result as a basis, the following deductions are made, which all <ur farmers would do well to lay by lor a convenient reference—That : When corn sells for 12} cents per bushel, pork costs 1} cents per pound. When corn costs 17 cents per bush el, pork costs 2 cents per pound. When corn co.-ti 25 cents per bush el, ]v-rk costs 3 cents per pound. When corn cists 33 cents per bush el, pork costs 4 cents per pound. When corn costs 50 conts per bush el, pork costs 5 cents per pound. Tho following Statement shows what the farmer realizes in his corn when sold in the f’fm of pork: When poik sells for 8 cents per pound, it brings 25 cents per bushel in corn. When pork se Is for 4 cents pet pound, it brings 32 cents j>cr bushel in corn. When pork sells for 5 cents per pound, it brings 45 cents p r bushel in com. The Loweb Classes. — Who are they? The t iling million”, the lab r ing ruan and woman, tho farmer, the mechanic, the artisan, the inventor, the producer? Far from it. Those are na ture’s nobility. No matter if they are high or low in station, rich or poor in pelf, eons; icuous cr humble in poti ion, they are surely upper circles in tbe order of nature, whatever the fictit ous dis tinctions of society, fasbffiuablo or un fash o able, decree. It is net low, it is tho highest duty, privilege aud pleasure for the great man and high soulcd wo man to earn what they poises l , to work their own way through life, to be the architects of their own fortunes. Some may rank the classes we have al luded to as only relatively low, and in fact tbo middling classes. We insist they arc absolutely the very highest. It there be a class -f human 16 ngfl on tho earth who tmy bo properly denomimted low, it is that ela«s who sptnd without carniog, who consume wiinout produc ing, who dissipate on tho earnings of their fathers or relatives, without being anything in am! of themselves. Hospitable Sjnnbb —At a late re \lval meeting iu East Mississippi, one of tho brotbr u became anxious to pile tbe alter with mourners, and for that purpo.«o left his seat and went among the congregation, personally exhorting bis acquaintances to quit tho error ol their ways. Approach iug an individual who drawling’y talked iluough his nose he began with— ‘Don’t you yant to go up ?’ ‘Nay 1’ *D n’t yon went to j’ne the church ?’ , ‘Nay !’ ,Wby, what wou!J you do if the lord was to come f r you ?’ ‘Wall,’ the sin ier drawled out, ‘l’d kill a chicken, o ok 8 >mo biscuit, and Ido the bast L could. Iffin’c reckon he’d > git mad al ihat!’ lie didn’t go up. r\ o. L'aiivlit in Jpis own Trap. Ouoo two ministers of tho Gmpol were conversing together ou txtempn raneous preaebing: “Well,” said tbo old divine, wax'ng warm, “you are ruining yourself by writing your sermocs and reading them off. Your congregation cannot become in terested in your preaching, and if you are cal|«d upon unexpcotedlv, unless you could get hold of au old sermon you would be completely confused” Tho young divine usod all bis elo quence, tut ia vain, to convince tho old gentleman that tbo written sermon ex pressed hi) own thoughts and feelings, and if called upon he could preaob cx tcmporancously. “A 3 we are of the same faith,” said the young minister, “suppose you try mo mxt Sabba'h morning. On ascend ing the pulpit you can hand mo a text from any part of the Bible, and I will convinoo you that I can proach without having looked at the text before I maud up. Likewise, I must be allowed the same privilege wiih y >u, aud see who will mako tbo best of i ,” The idea seemed to delight the old goutlcman, and it was immediately agreed upon. Ihe following sabbitb ( on mounting ffcs pulpit, bus senior brother hand'd u slip of papor, on which was written, “And the ass opened his mouth and spake; from which he preached a glo rious sermon, chaining tho attention of his delighted hearers, and charming his old friend with his ehquenoe. Iu the afternoon, tho young brothef, who was sitting below the pulpit, hand ed bis slip. After rising and opening tho Bible, the old man loi ked sadly around—“ Ara I not tl.ino ass V Palm ing a few minutes, he ran his fingers through bis hair straightened his collar, blew b s nose like the last trurnpe*, and read aloud, “Am I not thine ass?” Another pause,- in which a deadly si lence reigned. After reading the third time,“Am I not thine ass?” he looked over his pulpit at bis friend, and in a doleful voice said, “/ think 1 am brother ’’ Remkdy for Neuba- d'A.— The Nashville Dispatch says : A gentleman who has tried it, and is anxious to give the public the benefit of o very simple and effioaoious remedy for the euro of neura'gia, band tis the following : Take two large tablespoon fuls of co logne and two teaspoonfnli of salt, mix them tog ther in a small bottle. Every time y>u have any affection of the nerves or neuralgia, simply breathe the fumes in yi ur nose, r rom Ihe bottle, and you will be immediately rclieued. A picture in a lato number of Punch represents a fashionable and affectionate couple, the husband searching vigorous ly ia bis waistcoat pocke's. Tbeyoung wife enquires, ‘Have you lost your watch love ?’ anl he replies, 'No, darling, 'twas anew bonnet I bad for you somewhere. Tbr.93 two observing men, one of whom “aid tha l he always noticed when he lived through tho month of May he lived through the year, and the other of whom said at a wedding that more wotneu thaa men had been married that year were neither of them Irishmen. On the occasion of a terrible ship wreck, when all the off rts of the cap tain and crew seemed unavailing to ave.t the coming fate, an oil lady went up to the skipper, wringing her hands in desperation, and exclaiming: “Oh, captain ! are we really in dan ger ?” “Yes, tea'sm,” answered be, “we must trust in Providence ntw.” “Good God !” was the pious rejoinder, I “has it come to that ?” A rogue asked charity on pretence of being dumb. A asked with equal li-nplii i y end humanity, how long he bad been dump, bo was thrown off his guard and answereJ, ‘From birth.’ ‘Poor fellow!’ said tho lady, and gave him a dollar. A person was boasting that he sprung from a very high family in Ireland. ‘Yes,’ said a bystand'r, ‘I havo seen some of tbo same family to high that tbeir feet could not touch the ground.’ A celebrated wit was asked why he did not nia-ry a young lady to whom he was so attached. ‘I know not,’ said bo ‘except the great regard we have for each other.’ An assetsor found some people so dir ty, this spiing, that he felt warranted in recording them As real estate. Prentico says of an edi’or who ‘smelt a rat,’ that if he did, and the rat smelt him, the poor rat had the worst of if. Asa Ilarts says that the nigger has been the most fortunate of the two races in the late war Whilst the white man lost all his property, the darkey not only gamed his freedom, but., in doing so, never lost a scent. Squabbles, an n’d bachelor, shows his stockings which he had just darn ed, to a maiden lady who contemptu ously remarks, “Pretty good for a man datner.” Whereupon Squabbles rejoins, “Yes, prood enough for a wo man, darn her.” A traveler in tho backwoods mot i with a settler near a house, and inquir ed—“ Whose house?” “Mag's.” “Os what built ?” “Logs.” “Any n'-igh- ■ Ivors ? ’ Frogs.” “What is tho soil ?” i “Bog-*.” “Tho climate?” “Fogs” “Your diet?” “Hogs.” “How do you catch them ?’’ “Dogs.” Tho Boston Commercial says tnat | since c’oeked stockings for Unties are i in fashion, young men will be loooking j oftener than ever to see what time it is. Sensible. A matter-of-fact poetical genius aayw “I overheard a moonstruck ebap, the other day, remafk that he loved • eer tain young lady well enough to die for her. Now I lovo somebody very and— I’d swear for her— Td tear for her — The Lord knows What Td bear lor her* I’d lie for her— I’d sigh for her— I’d drink the Undson dry for her r I’d pray for her— I’d slay for her— I'd watch the house all day for her; I'd cuss for her— Do “wuss" for her— I'd kick up a thundering fuss for her f I’d weep for her; I’d for her— I'd go without my sleep for her; I’d fight for her— I’d bite for her— I’d wulk the streets all night for hors I’d plead for her— I’d bleed for her-£ I’d do without nay “feed " for her; I’d shoot for her— I’d boet for her A rival who’d come to “toot’’ for her j I’d kneel for her— I St3af for her— Such is the lovo I feel for her; I'd slide for frUr- I’d ride for her— I’d swim ’gainst wind and tide for her ; I’d try for her— I’d cry for her — But—bang me if I’d die for her. Fun, Fuel unit Fancy. A oow belle—a btauiiful milkmaid. “The Ladies—sweet briers in the gar-' den of life.” A pistago stamp tied with cobweb, is tbe last bonnet in Paris. Ornamental Fret-work— The eye* of your beloved, after she bus been crying. “My dear girl, will you share my lotforlffe?” “How many acres arts thero in your lot, sir ?” “Our mothtrs industrious tenders though they of.en misplace tho switch,’ was a toast given at u fecent railway dinner. Never give a hoy n dime to wateh yntir shadow, wide you climb a tree to look into the middle of next week. Thad. Stevens, has been elected President of a fire company in Lan caster. High honors in a similar u - partnflent are awaiting “Thad,” here after. When a young girl is desperately iri love with a young man, he shoul l marry her at once, and put her out of her misery. The first part of married life is the sbitle of the honeymoon, the rest, too often, common moonshine. Brutos no more comprehend tbe ways of man, than man comprehends thu ways of Providence. Ben Butlcfi was a soldier bravo, A soldier, brave was he ; He had for silver spoons and sioh A par ti al-i-ty. Briggs has a great faculty for getting things cheap. Tbo other day he had a leau'iful set of teeth inserted for next to nothing. He kicked a deg. Jones writes to a friend; and closes by saying, “I am glad to be able te say that my wife is recovering slowly.” ‘Why did Adam bite tho apple ?’ said a schoolmaster to a country lad. ‘Because ho had no knife’ suid the ur chin. “I’m going to raise your rent,” said a landlord to his tenant. ‘Thankyou.' replied the tenant, “for I’tu blessed if t can iaisc it myself.” A wag Rays he prevented' a case of Jydrophobiu by “getting on a four teen rail fence and staying until the dog left.” A married lady fund her two ro-* quarreli g, and in hopes of cutting an en Ito theif differences, uttered the fol lowing: >. “You young raScals, if you don’t de sist direotly, I’ll tell both your fathers.” “Massa, 1 know a young lady dat wan’s to make your aeqii dntance.” “What does the yonng lady want to make ray acquaintance for ? ’ Cause she thinks you’djmaka a first rate playmate for her poodle dog.” “Job printing I’’ cxclaimod an old la dy the other day, as she peeped over her spcctatlos at the advertising page of a paper. 'Poor Job! they’ve kept him printing weeck after week, ever nines t first larnt to read, aud if he wasn’t the most patientcst man that ever was, ho never could have stood it co iong, no how.’ A Texas paper, in illustrating the ad vantages of advertising, states that a gentleman advertised the loss of a SSO note and found it in his vest pocket be fire be reached homo. A poor woman in Indianapolis, in or der to save herself and children from starvation, sold her bead of hair to an aristooratic belle of that city for one doD lar and fifty cents. It has been deoided in one of the French oourts, that to call a woman a ‘female’ is to insult her, and is fiaeable. Tn speaking of a certain merchant, the other day, a erazy we man (or sup posed to be) said : "Do you see that man? Well, ton can blow his soul through a humming bird’s quill into a musqnitto’s eye—and the musquitto wouldn’t wink 1” A F.eichman Darned Gustavo Lam- 1 bert proposes to explore the open Polar ■ roa, first discovered by Dr. Kane. Ho , has concluded to try anew route, and 1 enter, if p>ssible, this open sheet of wsternt the N wth Pole from the ethef side, through Dehring’s Straits*