Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page.

jjatosoit tKileekln Journal, Published Every Thursday BV I'KKKHIU i ClimsTltV. Strictly in Jdeanee- 1 Oa« yenr.... 00 Utiles of •Advertising : One dollar per square of ten tines for the first insertion, Jtnd Seventy-five Cents per square foe h 4^ übstqfvvyt waattion, tkot M ceedthg'tflrec. " ’ One square three months $ 8 00 fine square sir months 12 00 One square one year 20 00 Two squares three months.,... 12 00 isareisii tu0nthf1.......... IS qo TjUJjnlfllxinr ! -’? UiUA. kilqh Fourth of a column three moths 30 00 Fourth of a colutnu six months 50 00 Half column three moths T 45 Off Half column six months 10 00 One colymA three months, . ,70 00 0«» column six moqtfiie. ~ fcUU 01/ Liberal llcdticlions Made on t'onlract Jdnrlikcmen Is. Legal Advertisiug. Sheriff’s Sales, per levy $2 50 Mortgage Fi Fa Sales per square.s 00 1 Ciutious for Letters of Administration, 3 00 «i “ " Guardianship, 800 Diamisiot) /WU- ipwbwstratioa, 6 00 , “ .Guardianship,. .... .y 400 Application for leave to cull land,6 00 Shies of Lund, per Square,. t 5 00 Rales of Perishable Property per sqn’r, 8 00 Notices to Debtors ami Creditors,.... 8 50 Foreclosure of Mortffujje, per square, 4 00 Eatray Notices, thirty days, 4 00 Job tf'ork of every description eie cured with neatness and dispatch, at moderate rates. RA IL -ROAD GUIDE. South wester it Railroad. WM. HOLT, Tree. | VIRGIL POWERS, Sup Leave Macon 5.15 A. Jf. ; arrive at Coltrni- i bus 11.15 A. .1/.; Leave Columbus 12 45 T. A/ • arrive at Macon 6.20 P. M. Leaves Macon 8 AM ; arrives at F.u faula 5 30, P M ; Leaves Euf.ula 7 20, A M ; Arrives at Macon 4 50, P M. ALBANY BRANCH. Leaves SmithviUe l 16, P M ; Arrives at Albany 3 It, f* M ; Leaves Albany 9 35, A M; Arrives at Smithville 11, A M. Leave Outhbejt 3 57 P. M. ; arrive at Fort! Gains 5 40 P. !u f Loire Fort Gains 7.05 A M. ; anjve at Cutbberl 9.05 A. it. • ■ yiuntii &. WetttTM Railroad. A J. WHITE, President. B, WALKER, Supeiintendent. bay passenger train. Lf.ivijs Macon . /• • 730A. M. Arrives at Atlanta . • . 1 57 I*. M. Leaves Atlanta . . . C 55 A. \|. Arrives at Macon . . . 1 3u P. a. NIGHT TRAIN. leaves Macon . . . 8 45 P. M. Arrives at Atlanta . . . 4 50 A- M. Leaves A'lanta . . . 8 10 P. M. Ariives at ilacon . . . 125A. M. Wcstcru & Atlantic liailrr.ad. CAMPBELL WALLACE, Sup’’. PAY PASSENGER TRAIN. Leave Alima a . • 845 A.M. I# <ve I)tlion .... 2.3inP. M-. Arrive at Chattanooga . . S.jlu P. M. Laave Cnattanooga . - S.2t) A. M. Ariivc at Atlanta . . . 12.05 P. M. MOIIT TRAIN. Leave Atlanta ... 7 08 I’. M. Arrive at Chattanooga . . 4 10 A M Leave Chattanooga . . 430 P. M. Arrive at D.llon . . . 750 P. M. Arrive at A Junta . «. . 1.41 A, M. ■ i.t , ..II J.t'.'V jjgusintf* DRS. HODNETT & PERRYMAN HAVIuVTi formini a compartnershtp in the practice of Jftidicine, offer their Pro fcMional services to the public, ami as expe rienced Physicians in all the branches o f their profession, confidently anticipate that their former success will insure a liberal share of practice. T\\e cash system having beep established in everything »lse,*tll bills will be due .-tit soon .is i case L< rilUatissed. Officio—Until further notice, in tlie front room of the “Journal” building, up etiirs. W. H. LIODVKTT, J. L. D. PKRUYUAX. Dtwson, Ga , Jimk* l;tl I)R. R 7l. W A KNOCK, OFFERS bU Professional services to the citjzcps of Clinkaaawhatdioe and its vicinity. From ample experience iu both civil and Military practice, he is prepared to treat successfully, cases in every department •f his profession. jauie’tfgil' C. B. WOOTEN, ATTORNEY AT LAW, Bateson, Ga. jnl* IS6B ly •. 1. CORLEY. WILD C. CLEVELAP, GURLEY & CLEVELAND, A TTORNEYS A T LA IP, Milford, Baker County, Ga. J. G. 8. SHI ITU, SMITH and Machinist., H+4 W'Hft.V, : s Georgia. R<*p*irs all kinds of Guns, Pistols, owing *»cneß, etc., etc. 2 ly* tobacco, tobacco.' I WILT, keep constantly on hand, at Al exander A l*iirrotlV, a good »s --*>eUnent ot all grades of the l>e»t quality of Tobaqeo, all of which I wIU sell at Maoou, Aagasta and Atlanta prices. n W. T. LEWIS. Dawson, Ga., April 3ft, 1868—-Bnt LOST! I or about the ii»th of Kay, ult., four promissoiy notes : One on jas. E. Lee, (Iran to Win. Palmor, for sl7, wilh two J e^ 8 .* nl * resL • ou * on Tnos Cochran, given *o Cain Wall on (he 26th of May ult, for #2fl, lwo on T. P. Burge, given to Jones A ft?**. °n or about ihe 26th of December b 'i f° r s3l each. All persons are fore arned against trading for any es the above otes. Any person finding said notes and lh* T 'k'' m * ero I can gi t them, or bring- E them to me, will be rewarded if requir • L „ CAIN WALL, itrrrlt to., Ga., jiinc 4;lm. THE DAWSON JOURNAL. Vol. 111. POETRY. •--- L f■" T— -1 I*" »royi the Banner oft’ the South. Hope and memory. I am thinking to-day—how oft I think! Os a (.nod that has faded from mortal ryes, A Laid, whjsgd I stood tlvfi’a brink, That wksiies the gates of Paradise ! Though forever trembling on gold'll hinges; While .lights to thy r _ Abß the Wtie* Mtampak f!s rrrtu'gin fringes ! WJitre I watfilied tlie day, with footsteps fleet, Come down, like the Lydian King of old, And saw at the touch of his kingly feet, How the tolling sandu were turned to gold. But now—the Ljdian King has fled— No more by thd gates of /*afadise, But by rftlßqd foaming waves I tread. And watch the blood of Jitisus rise. The hand that sunk ’urath the sobbing flood, As darkly ibW billows onward roll; But ah ! it has left me the garment of blood, : Thut wraps in file my shrinking soul. I strive to tear it with quivering hands, That are powetltss now to my will, While /’fia.lb’ Immortal, forever stands Betide me and mocks—and still, yet still— ’Mid all the torture, how oft I think, Os a Land, seen only through dreaming eyes— A Land, whore I stood by tbe river's brink, That washes the gates of Paradise; And I see the day, with footsteps fleet, Come down, like the Lydian King of old; And wateb, st the touch of his kingly feet, llow the rolling sands are turned to gold ! Tlie Humane liidiitit. An Indian who bad iot met with bis usual success in hniukig, wandered down to a plantation amoDg tbe back settlements in Virgiaia, and seeing a planter, asked for a morsel of bread, for he was very hungry. Tbe planter bade him begone, for he would give him none. ‘Will you- give me a cup <f your beerT said the Indian. ‘•No, you shall have none here/ re plied the p'anter. ‘But I am very faint/ said the savage, 1 w ill you give me only a draught of cold water V ‘Get you gone, you Indian deg ; you shall bavenothing here,' suidthe planter. It happened some aun'bs after that, the plat t r weut < t a t-hooiirg party up in the woods, whore intent upon bis game, he missed lijs company aid lets: his way, and night coming oh, he wan dered thr< uah the fonst until he espi ed-an Indhn wigwam. He approached the eavage’s habita tion and asked Lira to show him the way to a plantation on the country. ‘I is too late for yen to go this even ing, sir,’ taid the lodine p ‘liothf you will accept of my homily fare, you are welcome.’ He the n i fibred him seme venison, and rui-h cthir refnshmentsm his st ok nff-retell and‘havnig laid sArne heir skins for his bed, he desire! that he would repose himself for the night, and he would wake him early in the morn ing, and conduct him on his way. Accordingly in the rooming they set iff, ar.d the Indian led him out of tbe forest, and put Lim in?o tho road which he was to pursue ; bat just as they were taking leave, be stopped before the plan ter, and turning round and staring him full in the face, asked him whether ho recollected his features.' Tbe planter wae sbuok with shame and confusion, when he recognized in his kind protector the Indian whom he had so harshly treated. Heioufes?ed that he knew him, Ipd was full of excuses for his brutal behav ior, to which the Indian only replied ; ‘When you see poor Indims fainting for a cup sf cold wafer, don’t say, 'Get you gone, yeu Indian dog.’ Tho In dian thep wished him well on his jour ney ffndT«ft*him. It is not difficult to say which of these two had the best claim to the name of Christian. ry A Baptist minister is respon - sibhsjmr the following.' “When I wss mar'll yruliger than now—in fact, soon a/t r the o immecce ment of my ministrations'—l held a meeting at my own lions:. It being customary for many of the congrega tion to remain to dinner Mrs. B rent gur negro J>of Tim Jo neighbor Paul’s iot sbtatf bitter? *rim termed and and locate# himself, standing on one foot at a time, in the outskirts of the congregation. Using well warmed up in tny sermon, thinking neither of Tim or his errand b»t only of tbo most sne cessfurhftlfd nf pressing among hearers one of my strongest arguments, l de manded, withal! the energy in my pow er : “Anti whaildid Paul sty?’ ‘-‘Tim at the top of his little squeak ing vflioe,'exclaimed, as Tim ODiy could have done: ‘‘He thed you couldn't get any more butter till you isid for what you had got r “This brought down the house and cut short one ofihe finest t Hurts of my eariy ministry ; and since then I have kept nay preaching disconnected from my domestic affairs.’ DAWSON, OA., TIIIJIIHIIAY, .TUNE !*<;*. A ViULLUO AI)TK,\TI HIE I was a medical student in Paris at the vhrre the strpnge tint] startling ad| venture happened Which t ain utxiiit to record. Tired with long lectures hnd hiinl a'ndy, I was, out one ieven ing for a walk in the froth air. It was a {i’easttinf idAvt in mH?ivm&iVniWT the cold, bracing air_ as it toticbed my fe verish brow, caused a gfatefui Sensa tion. ,<|U«n *j ifi !H»L I’assing through a rather lonely street, near the river, I was surprised in meeting a young and pretty girl, (:it least so she appeared in the dim light of a rather distant street lamp) her hard some three or four bouquets w Uich she offered for sale. ‘\S ill Monsieur have n bouijuet Jgpho asked in a sweet, musical tone, bidd ing out to me a well arranged collec tion of beautiful flowers. ‘They are very pretty/ said, I tak ing them in rny hand ; and then, some how, I could not -hulp adding, as I fixed my eyes upon hers, ‘and so I think, is their lair owner.' ‘Monsieur will buy, and assist me?’ she said. LUoj’qu really need assistance, Mad* < laohmlla ?” .IWhy else should I be here at tr.i* hour of the night, Monsieur?’ she an swered. ‘And wiry here at sill !’ quickly re turned T. ‘Thisstreet is little frequent ad, and is about tlie last in the world I should have selected for disposing of a luxury most suited to wealth and fashion.’ She sighed, and reached out her hand for the bouquet, which I still re tained. ‘What iayour price ?’ said I. ‘Five franes.’ ‘A large sum.’ ‘Monsieur will remember it is win ter, and Hewers are not plenty,’ she said, ‘To aid you I will purchase/ re turned I, handing her the requisite silver c-oin; 'for though I love Dowers, I would otherwise hardly indulge in the luxury to-night at such an ex p nse.’ She thtißked me. and seem'-d about to puss on, but hesitated, looked up to rne, and said! ‘Cuu and Monsieur direct me to the house of a good physician, who wi'l turn out to rirfcbt and see a patient at a small recompense ?’ 'Atiy friend 'if yours ill ?’ ‘My mother/ with a deep s’gh and a downcast look. ‘\\ here does she re ide?’ 'Only a short distance irom here/ she said •\S hat is the matt, r with her !’ ‘Jilie lt;is a high fever, for one tiling. ‘tV lien was she taken ?’ ‘£he came down last night and has not ielt tier bed since.’ ‘Whv-did vnu not send for a ithy.-i --cian at t n e ?' ‘We hoped she would he bet’er soon, and it is bo expensive for poor jieople to employ a physician/ she an swered. ‘I ;im ruy-sqlfia m dicaj s-tudgiitß wi'h considerable experience’ among the sick of the hospitals, and ii you arc disposed to trust the case to me, I am at your service wi bont charge’ 1 rejoined, already teeting deeply inter ested in the fair girl. ‘Oh, how shall a thank Monsieur?’ she exfclniined w ith c'asped hands, and an upward grateful look. ‘Pray, fol low inf, Monsieur ie Docteur.’ She turned at once, and moved off at a rapid pace down the street, to ward the rivpr Seine, in the direction 1 was walking when we met; In less then live minutes we had en ter'd a wretched quarter, among nar row s*rests, old tottering buildings, und squalid looking iobauiiauts, some ot whom seemed to gharft at us 6s we pa.-sed along. ‘ls if mutr. further ?’ inquired I, be ginning to feel uneasy. ‘Only a step, Monsieur; it, i‘, just ben*.’ "* 'lflrfhtet ftfihrediatefy she turhed into a covered passage, which led in back among babijqtions that l should.never have vntilnd lit broad light of day. A distant lamp served to make the gloom vi-iblt*, till she suddenly 'opened a door into total darkness. •Your band, Monsieur le Docteur,’ she said, at the game time taking it and lending me forward. 4 was tempted to draw back and ro fuse to follow any further, though I mechanically followed lor \V e now went through a long, nar row passage; in total darkness, and after two or three short turns, began to descend a pair of creaking, rottoo stairs. ‘ls it jwissible you live in a place like this'/” said I, secretly wishing myself safely out of it. *Jn l’aris, beggars cannot be choos er*.’ ref Bed (he girl. ‘But even in Paris it is not necessary for the living to take up their abodes in sepulchres !’ J rejoined, with -ome asperity, being vexed w ith myself lor suffering my good nature to lead me into a den irom which I might never come out alive To this my fair guide deigned no reply On reaching the foot of the stairs she pushed opeu a door, a small dimly lighted loom, nnd 1 followed her into it with some secret misgivings.— 'lhero was a Led in one corner, and upon it was what appear to be a Lu man form lying very still. ‘i have brought a doctor, mother,’ said the girl, as she closed the door behind nia As there was no reply to tt is, she turned to me, Saying, ‘Will Monsieur Is Doctor please to be seat ed a minute ? I believe mother is Hsleep.’ •I be® Mademoiselle to bear in mind that I can only spare a few moments with this ease to night, as I tavei an other call l wish to make immediately, 1 returned, feeiing very anxious to de part from tbit subterranean quarter a.t quick ns possible. ‘Moiwieur shall not be detained long by me/ rejoined the girl, passing out of the room by another door. i aid not ait down, but walked over to the bed where the patient was ly ing, very Mill—«o still, indeed, that l con'd not detect any breathing. A woman’s cap was on the head, and the end of a sheet concealed the face, I ventured to turn this down carefully, and beheld tba eyeless sockets and grinning tee'll of a human skull ! 1 started back in horror, and at the same moment the door by which the girl left me was thrown open, and in marched, one after the other, four quite tall human figures, in black gawrm and masks. I knew at once, then, that I was to be robbed, and probably murdered. I wore a heavy diamond pin and ring, carried in mon ey Hbout tny person some five hun dred francs, but not a single weapon of any kind ; resistance being, there fore, out of rhe question. I felt that my oniy chance—if, indeed there was a chance—was to conciliate the ruffi ans, and buy myself off With a pres ence of mind for which I still take to myself considerable credit. 1 said at once; ‘I understand it all gentlemen, and you will find me a liberal person to deal with. There in one tiling I value very highly, because it is the only one I have, and I cannot replace it—that is my life. Everything else of mine is at your service, even beyond what I have with me.’ They were undoubtedly surprised to hear me speak in that cool, off-hand manner; but they inarched forward and surrouuded me before either ut tered a word. ‘How much have you with you, then ?’ inquired one in a civil way, but in a low, gruff tone. I immediately mentioned the differs ent articles of value, and the exact amount of money • ‘all of which I shall be pleased to p:esent you w ith, if ono of you will be kmd ertougn to escoit me lo the street above,’ I said. ‘You said you had more, I think Monsieur.’ ‘Yes, gentlemen, I htivo ten thou- S.«nd francs in tho Hank of France, and 1 will willingly add a check for half that amnuht.’ ‘Checks don’t answer our purpose very well ’ ‘i’hen I pledge my honor that I will to morrow draw out five thousand francs, and pay tie amount over to any person who may approach me with this L'onqitvt in bis hand/ said I lio'd - nig out the flowers I h,d purchased from the fair decoy ‘And have him arrestcl the next minute. I suppose ?’ ‘No; on roy honor, he shall depart urtfi ,l ined and unquestioned, and no otluir human being stroll be informed of the transaction for u week, a month, or a y ar.’ ‘Let us hapdle what you have hsre/ : said tlie firs speaker. and immediately took- out my pin, ! took iff my ring, drey out my watch produced my pocket hook and" pitr.se, ami placed them all in his extended hftnd. '■'You tnajja us a present of these now ?’ tiesttid. •‘Yes. TSh*Tonditinn tfiat onb of you w ill loiThwith conduct mo to the straet frbr vi?/ I replied. •Monsieur is a very Jibcrid gentle man, indeei^.’ '1 hey then drew oft together, scru tinizing the articles by the light of a smoky lamp, and conversing in low tones. I felt that they were holding a conversation that involved- my life, and to speak the honest truth, it seemed as il every nerve in me quivered ; and it was with difficulty that I could stand At length, the principal spokesman turned to ino and said, in a cool meth odical manner: ‘Monsieur has acted moro lino a gen tleman than any other person we ever n«d any dealings with, and if we «o«ld, cHnsfstent with our business, oblige him, we should be happy to do so I but, unfortiinate'y, w-e are governed by a rule whi h is a law with us, that and ad men tell no tales, and we think it wi'l not do to make an exception in ibis case.. We will, however, in con sideration of Monsieur’s gentlemanly behavior, he as mild and lenient as pos sible in doing our duty, and grant Monsieur five minutes for saying his prayers.’ ‘ You have, then resolved to murder Sms /r gasped I. ‘.Monsieur uses a very hard term, but we will let that pass. You have tivo tniuutus yot to live by this wgteh ’ 1 The vilfsiri then hekf roy watch to the light, I felt indeed that my min utes were numbered, an! secietly be gan to pray for tho salvation of my soul, bcJievrng that I could not save my body. A deoth-liko silence reigned in that gloomy apartment for some time, and tben one of the ruffians bent down, and lifted a trap door, and from the dark |>C. below issued a noisome sini-11, as it Height be ot putrid bodies* l l>tlre and tiiy frrtertded grave* und shuddered and shook like an aspen. But why stand there and die like a dog, without a siagle attempt to es cape ? At tbe worst it could be but death, and there was a bare possibility 1 might get away. I fixed my eyes on the door which opened on the stair way, and with a single sudden bound, reaehod it, but found it fast locked.— Then, as the hands of the ruffians seized me with murderous intent. I uttered a wild shriek, the door was burst in with a loud crash, and in a moment ft e room was filled with gen d’armes I snw that I wag saved, and lamted and fell. Tlie four masKs, tlie fair decoy, and two or threo others concerned iq that murderous den were all secured that night, and I snhscqiiendy had the pleasure of giving in my evidence against them, and soring them all con demned to. the galleys for lile. The place had been for sornq time suspected, and the decoy marked. On tbnt night a defective had secretly fol lowed the girl and myself, and, after ascertaining whither she h»d conduct ed me, had hastened to bring a body of gen d'armes to tho place. The de lay of the ruffians in their murderous designs hsd been just sufficient to save nio I scarcely need add that I never again volunteered to accompany ad s tressed damsel on a secret adventure w hile I remained in Paris Hew Parties. The Memphis Avalanche rays the “Democratic party o; 1868 ia ar ear po litical organization composed of the pa •riots and statesmen of the nation. It is the creations of tbe terrible struggle through which we have passed. Old Line Whigs and old Line Democrats have been immersed in tbe very flames of civil war, the baptism of which ba* consumed all old things. The question of a high or low tariff; atl valorem or specific duties; of the power of the Gen cral Government to appropriate money for internal improvements ; of the con stitutionality of the Nctionol banking system ; of the right or wrong of slave ry—no longer mako or unmake parties. The Risolution of 1798, upon which the South planted herself, have writ'en acres! their face, by the bloody hand of war, :n letters of fire, tbe word ‘can celed.’ We arc anothor people. The mighty revolution of 1861 has not only swept billions of property »o the wind, but has buried with it all former par ties—Old Line Democrat, Old l/ne Whig, Freesoilers, Abolitionist, all have’ been interred ia a political sepul chre which will never to opened. The thievi-h hand of IJutl.cr, or the malig nant cyo of Stevens, or the boLitcrous voice of L -gap may keep watch and vigils, but the blood of tho nation was not poured fut to perpctuite but to de stroy tho fld order of things. Are we to be taught that a million precious lives of the white men of Am irica were sacrificed to appease the greasy, fiithy, I brutish negro? Is tbe Freedmen’s Bureau tbe monument to bo erected over tbe gnyes of Jkjhocs ? The Radi cal party in the North represents all the bideoua oL.incuts of tho war Did one of its great results. In the South ern States it is oomposed mostly of men who are cowards plunderers of the peo ple, deserters, camp-followers, without honor or truth—tax-title thieves, rob bers. It is tbe filih (earn and stink of the Revolution. Tbe leaders of this party were either Whig or Democrat Iu Grant wo have a Democrat who has deserted bis political faith ; in Gel/ax a Whig; in Butler all creeds and parties; in Stevens tint! I.ogdn tfA jjarty. These are the men who are at tbe front of the Radical .Leobin faction, aod but for (be fact that they have control of Con gri«-, it would not maintain itself even in New England. To oppose this mob of fanatios the whito men of Andies have United and formed a party—i-the great Democratic party—pledged to the restoration of the States and the suprem acy of the white race. The name of Democracy is not nsed with its eld po litieal meaning, but because it io appro priate to describe a party which oppos es Ihe military despotism of CongretH nod the enslavement es the whit* mao Drop That Papekl —Yes, drop it. Too niggardly and mean to subscribe for your country paper, which is stead ily laboringlfor the promotion and wel fare of society—for your welfare—you have been spunging on your neighbors ever since it was established. You are always eager to read it, and frequently before it reaches the hanlof the honor able owner it is crumpled and Corn by yiur filching fingers. Drftp It ! Nev er pick it np and read it again, unless (you can do so with the prond aorscious ness that you hate the rtghf—a tight j secured in a legitimate way. If you 1 are too poor to aid In sustaining it, let us know and we wiH send ywA the pa per; But iij if downright meanness in you, when you are as al le ' as your neighbor,! to send your children through theo-wow, and sleet, and rain to borrow it. Bo a man and help us. &JC. - ■ Civile JJelUth. — A Fedtr.t officer at the battle of Belmont, Mi.-smri, marked rut & Confederate soldier, who was conspicuous for bis gallantry, ami shot him. He noticed where ho fell, and the next day when sent back by the defeated Fedora is with a party to bury iheir dead, he sought out bis victim, and upou turning the h dy over, found ' to his honor, that he had shot his own brother. Such was tho war waged op on the South. No. 130. Itllkci and the fflogintratr. A Patlander with a red nose, and rendered still more red, by a cepione discharge of blood which octcd through a rag tied ever a recent wound on hi* scalp, applied to a magistrate fort war rant, when the following dialogoc fork place: Magistrate—‘Well, Mike (far his cnMteamee operated as • sort of a fig ure peat, pointing to tho rosd whence he came;) whnt do you want?’ ‘l’d be wanting a warrant, you wor ship's glory.’ ‘Against whom ?’ ‘Aain Barney O’Leary, plaiss your i rivirioce,’ ‘For wbat?’ ‘Muriher, your grace.’ ‘Whom did he Murder?’ ‘Murtbcr! oeb, tbe devil a creature but myself, your excellency,* ‘lndeed! baa ho really been guilty of tkpt ?’ ‘By my soul he hae ! Bad luck to him, lie has made a hole ie my Rap per big enough to b«ry a eat in.’ ‘lie hat not killed you outright, I see.’ ‘Oeb shure, it isn’t bis fault that be hasn’t for be intended it, and nothing ahurer.’ ‘I suppose an assault warrant will suit you ? When did be assault you ?’ ‘lie slaughtered me last night about two o’clock this morning, your serene highness ?’ ‘Did he striko you with a stick ?’ ‘No, my lord, it was a small taste of a poker.’ A poker! What a dreadful mur derous weapon.’ 'Arrah ! shure, your holiness, it is in deed.’ ‘Where was I 7 Shure I was in bed.’ 'Asleep or awake?’ ‘As sound as a roach, your honor.’ ‘And what provocation lud you giv en him.’ Dlvil a provocation at all, moßl noble llow could I when I was dead drunk asleep ’ ‘What! do ycu mean to say he came to your bedside and struck you in that dreadful manner without cause ?’ ‘Yes, your highness—barring he came to his own bedside instead of mine 1’ ‘llls own bedside D' weie you in Lis bed ?’ ‘Faith you have guessed if, your riv ercncc.’ ‘And what brought you there?’ ‘That’s more than I can tell, your honor, barring it was the liquor.’ ‘Was this all you did to provoke bis anger ?’ ‘Divil a thiog else.’ ‘Wa* there any other person pres ent ?’ •Not a craturc- independent of his wife that was in bed with me, your graee.’ *nis wife t were you iu bed with his wife ?’ ‘ln course I was your honor.’ ‘And dou’t yotrilbiuk you deserved wbat you got ** ‘IS it me ? Not I ; it was a mistake/ ‘Mistake 1* ‘Yes, I thought it was tny wife in the dark. I went into the room in mis take ’ * •Well, I boro y?w committed no oth er mistake. You must be more care ful in future, I cauuot grant you a warrant,’ JThank your roasrrsty. If he bits me agin it shall go for something. By my roul I will give him a crack that will knock him iuto the middle of next month. So an iiligaut good day to your honor’ Pulling up his unmentioßubleu, he bopped off iu a real Irish trot. It turn* ed out tbul Mike went to bed uncon scious of where he was, till Barney gave aim a gentle bint with tho poker, and fortunately his skull was thick enough to resist the intended finisher. Barney’s sleeping beauty was also awoke by the shock, who gave her tender assistance in carrying oho intruder out of the chamber of her lord and master. a simple mode af computing interest is as follows : Multiply auy giv en number cf dollars by tho number of days of interest required, eeperate the right band figure and divide by six ; the result is the true iutere.-t fir such a number of days at six per cent. This i rule is so Bimplc and true, according to j all business u-age, that every banker, btokor, mere ha rw, and e'erk sbouldlpost it up for reference surd use. By no arithmetical process can so desired in formation he obtained with so few fig ures. Un Makuyinu. —Tiie Home Journal which is deemed good authority in sash iouable cirelcs, give* a few rules for se- | lecting a wife : Ist, she should bo well i br*d ; or,of good extraction. 2. She should beat least ten years younger than her husband. 3. Sire should not be selected bemuse she has money, though “a suitable woman with money has an additional charm.’ 4. Very old men should not marry at all ; but if they will marry, they may as well mar. ry their housekeepers, if they can get along with their couuections. What miss plajs more tricks than a monkey ? Mu-chief. A FIEKV HIJKRRICANE. Mail l'rnnks of Hie Uevotirtuf Element. The Green Bay Advocate, of Mxjr 28, contains seme accounts of X great fire which has been raging through the iron regions of Northern Wisconsin Its oorrespoij4*nt, writing from Negan* nrc, soys : lAvrtJcs who saw the fire describe it M avast whirlwind, in the shape of* funnel, traveling through th« wood* at raiT'fray speed, setting fire to and burn ing everything in its way. The first pile of wood tho firo struck about 4 o’clock in ihe afternoon, containing over 2,000 cords of green beach and maple cat last winter. Tbe wood was one shcot of flame in an instant. Water was on the piles in about fifty, barrel*, put there in caso of fires, and tbe snow ad ice me ting from under tlu wood gave them plcDty more, which wa* put on without seeming to have muefc i (Lot, such being the force of the fire. Help was summoned from Escanab* and Ncgauncc ; six trams were on thw track, and with all the help they had besides this, they were unable to get command of it until two o’clock next morning. At about three o’clock lk« fire was beard coming back from Urn peninsula. They immediately dispatched all the force ihey could ppaic to a pile contain ing six hundred cords short wood, two miles above tho fire. They bad no soon er arrived there and taken their station,, before a burricaoo struck the wood and set it on fire before a hand could he raised Such was its force that it jump, ed clear aoross a small opening and the railroad track before it struck tbe waed. Many men had their whiskers and batr singed by the heat. But very few cords in this pile were saved. I saw nothing that would burn last on the spot it was one vast sea ot ashes. The fixe is still raging in all parts of the country ; is is but one line of firo and smoke between hcreaud Escanaba. I saw several wood-piles on firo on the way here. Men are stationed all along the watching the track and wood piles. At Palmer’s falls, five miles from here, the whole village burnt down last night; They sent here this morning (Tuesday) for help to save a large saw mill they have there. The railroad from here to Msrquctfo is also in a very dangerous state—fire all tho way down. I learn from severe al parties from Marquotte, this morning that tho village of Choco'a was iu con siderable danger. This south wind has driven the fire right down in that direction. A traveling book agent stop ped at s tavern in New Jersey, while on a tramp.. The landlady was n Wid ow, the mother of three uncommonly plain daughters. wLo look a fancy to tbe agent.. \V hilo at dinner.one day he was re quested by the widow to carve the meat and servo it out to the company at tho table. "My dear madam/’ said he, “really you must excuse mo, for Ido not under stand carving. 1 u*n acoustumcd to being served—not doing service.’’ -“Not understand rarviDg meat 1 Mer cy ou us/ i jaculated the old lady, ‘wbat kind of a woman must your mother have been? Affine husband you’d make, to bo Eure. Why, if you were to come to me and say, “Widow Fox, can L buve one of your gals for a wife ?’’ I would say to you, "Mr. T , yoi» can’t until you learn to / carvo meat.’ "Give yourself np uneasiness, my dear madam/ replied T—, “I doa’t wanteitbeir of them, they lock teo much like their mother,’* We wouldn't want that man to sell books for os. He dont know Lis busi ness. We would have admired the beau ty of the girls, and said they looked just like their mother More than that, we would dandle the b*by os our kass and tell mama it was the sweetest little angel in the world, no matter if it had a dirty face and squealed like a young hyena. “My dear,” said an anxious matron to her daughter, “It is very wrong f->r young people to be throwing kisses at each niher. “Why so mamma? I’m sure they don’t hurt, even if they do hit.” Mrs. Jones, a farmer’s wife in Cin- I ciunati, says : “I believe my boys bevc got the ten— ■ dcrest hearts in the world. I can’t tell I oseof ’em to fetch mo a pail ot water but ho’ll burst out n oryin’.” “Sambo, does ye know why de Radi cal* is liko dc.se noisy things all tru da woods now 7” “No, Fete, I gib it up.” “\\ ell, its cause dev’s 10-cusscs.” “Yab, jah, ynh—dat am a fak Peta | an dey don’t lib mor’n forty days ester I dey g'ts to dar wust nudiler. 4 ’ It was a Dutchman who said "a pig; had no car marks exoept a short tall ,**’ and it was a British magistrate who be ing told by a vagabond that he waa nob married, responded : That’s a good thing for vour wife."' An boce,t farmer writes to the shaiix man of au agricultural society; “Gentlemen ple-sa put me ya : your list of cattle for a bull.