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© PIQUANT POINTS
Texns has & paper called the
Bedbug. g oo
Congress has spoken and tLe
Mormon must go—if he wants to.
gince dudes commenced to wear
corsets, the girls have a good
poany strings to their beaux.
Bmithville has organized a
nrass band and is prepared to
generate her wind music at home.
Montana is eredited with 30,000
bachelors. We know some wo
man who might maks a profitable
trip there.
The denizons of the frigid re
gions now winter in California
ijnstead of Florida, and the hotel
keopers in the last named State
ara complaining.
The Middle Georgia Progress
is the name of a new paper to be
published at Sandersville. Mess.
Stepben G. Jordan and C. H.
Mitchell are to be the editers. |
Before you go to bed at night 1
slways be sure that your front
gate is open across the sidewalk.
It may n»t break the ribs of some
belated pedestrian, but it may
gaoceed in Lurting him badly. By
all means leave your gate open.
The famous belled buzzard, so
often reported as having been
seon in QGeorgia, was shot and
killed the ether day in Tunis,
Texas. The bell was of brass,
fastened around the neck by a
copper wire and bore date of
1876.
A bailding and business boom
is said to be ahead for Americus
soon. A company of Northern
eapitalists is expected to build np
machine shops for the manufact
ure of all kinds of iron and wood
enimpiements, utensils, furaituare,
ste.
A one-leggad proacher in a
Goorgia town upbraided a young
man for carrying a gold-headad
cans. ‘“lhare ara no gold-headed
cana3 in heaven,” said thae man of
God. “No, and there are no
woodeu-leggad preachers thare,
either,” was the crusuing rejoind
er. -
The Newuszu advertiser is re
sponsible for the subjoined para
graph: “There is a revival going
onin the northern part of the
State and each convert gets A Wa
terbury watch. The plan works
all right until they come to wind
them, and then they backslide.”
The Bparta Ishmaelite trath
fully remarks that the only yros
perens farmers in this couantry
are those who raise their own
braad and meat. Those who con
fina their labors to raising cotton
to swap off for supplies that
ought to have baen grown at home
are badly in the lurch.
Belva Lockwood was to bavel
loctared in Missouri one night
last wesk, but not a ticket was
80ld. Belva has been a failure all
along if ghe eould only see it.
When a woman attampts single
banded to boyeott the great cra
dle-paregoric industry, she has
bitten off more than she can swal
low,
The Holcomb woman (whito),
confized at Dalton as accessory‘
to the murder of Matilda Gudger,
€ame near essaping from jail by }
temoving brick from under the
window of the room in which she
VaB sonfined. The jailer discovered
the plan, however, and the flight
of the gay female bird wae frus
trated.
Oliver Byron, the actor, now in
Goorgia, tel's a rather good story
ofa former heavy villian in his
®ompany, whose father was a Mas.
Sachusetts mimister, One Sun
day while the father was deliver
ing s sermon the youngster was
Pelting the drowsy congregation
vith beans. The preacher, with
Violent gesture, bade the son de
“ist, who replied: “You go right
o 0 with your preaching, pa; I'll
keep 'ery awakaj”
There g near Toceoa a young
¥omap, ouly 18 years old, named
Elizg Taylor, who is an uncon
verable mooushiner, Officers
have raided and destroyed her
still twica racently, bnt sha at
Oh¢B ‘patches it up and goes to
York again. Henry Dover, a lad
17 yoars of age, who assisted Miss
T&ylor, wus arrested and taken to
Ganesyille, The young woman
nformeq the officers in language
Wore forcible than elegant, that
the *ill was hers and sha should
cmf‘“’l! coatinue to carry on the
businggy, The officers did not ar-
Yoot hey,
THE DAWSON JOURNAL
JORDAN & RAINEY.
A WOMAN'S PORTRAIT.
Blessing she is; God made her 80,
And deeds of week-tay holiness
Fall from her noiseless as the snow,
For has she ever chanced to know
That aught were easier than t 0 bless.
She is most fair, and thereunto
Her life doth rightly harmonize;
Feeling or thought that was not true
Neter made less beautiful the blue,
} Unclouded heaven of her eyes.
‘Rhe is & woman; one in whom
The spring-time of her chiidish years
Hasg never lost its fresh perfume,
Though knowing well that life hath room
For many blights and many tears.
A Sad Sight.
Washington Chronicle. :
Oae of the saddest sights we ev.
er witnessed was on the Georgia
train the other day. A young
married woman was being carried
to the asylam. Her ravings were
heart-reuding. Oae momont she
imagined she was being starved
to death, and would cry fer some
thing to eat, and would give or
ders for handsome dinners'to be
served immediately. The next
instant she would think she was
queen of Spain, and the passen
gers her subjects. Then without
any cause she would commence to
curse her husband, using the most
terrible langnage towards him.
We understand that before she
became crazy she was a most de
vout christain and that hLer hus
band is a most upright man
in most evory respect. The hns.
band bore her reproaches with
the most perfect patienca, yet any
one could see that every word was
a stab. Such scenes as this, one
never forgets, anl demongtrates
that every man’s lot in lifa is not
as hard as that of 3oms of hia
veighbors. If we knew esch oth
ers troables, as well as oar own,
thera wonld be more charity in
the world.
A Good Stery.
They tell a story of a loeal news
paper man that illustrates his
presence of mind even undsr tho
most trying circamstaness. Ho
was awakened in a hotel one night
by the cry of“fire,”and iu aspring
and tvo movements was out of the
bed and in the hall, which was
filled with smoke. Just ahead of
him was a flying figure, clad in
white like bimself, and running at
2:10 clip. A tarn in the long hall
and two steps leading to a higher
level brought tha figare up, or
rather down, and the same cause
precipitated the newspeper man
against her. “Lat's pray,” criel
the afrighted woman, as she clasp.-
ed him by thearm. “No, let’s
run,” was his reply, and patting
Lier once mors in the right direc
tion, the lady was soon far ahead,
though her rescuer got out in
plenty of tima. The two never
saw each other again, but their
first and only meeting must heav
idly impressed itself upon the
wind of each.—¥rom the Buffalo
Courier.
Disabled Soldiers.
We take pleasure in giving eir
culation to the following, from
the Atlanta Constitation, for the
information of those concerned:
The Executive Department has
been flooded with letters of late in
regard to the bill at the session
of the last Legislature which pro
vided fer the relief of disabled
Confederate seldiers other than
those who lost an arm or a leg in
service. It is greatly desired that
the ordinuries of the various
counties should let it be under
stood in their localities that there
is at present absoluiely no law in
existence to the above effect. The
bill alluded to was strongly sup
ported at the last session, but fail
ed to go through. It passed the
Heuse and reached the Senate,but
was never actedon by that body,
but, among & number of other
bills, wss laid aside to be consid
ered at the July session, when the
chances are good that it may be
come a law, bat there i 3 now none
of the kind on the statute books,
nor can there can be possinly till
the Legislature meets again and
cousiders the matter, which will
not happen before July. It woold
save much needless work aund the
answering of a myriad of useless
questions if these factsin relation
to the matter could be weil nnder
stood by the parties concerned.
—Hood's Lureka Liver Medi
eine, o perfect family medieine
tor the commod ills of life. It
laas no equel. Itisa speeifis for
siak h‘muohe. For sale 1 Daw
gon, Ga. by Crouch DBro's., Drug
giets. yel.
Dawson, Ga., Thurs@.; January 27th., 1887,
ABDUT SELECTING WIVES.
A FEW HINTS BY BILL OMI.
Albany News.
There are very few men who
understand how to select a good
cigar or good wife, and I must say
that ther> are very few women
who understand it either. I
would advise all young men who
wish to select a wife, to get one
with & $57,000 bank account; if
she hasn’t this bank account, you
would do well not to select. I
have seen men select wives who
did not have the necessary here
after, and invariably died poor
and filled an untimely and six
foot grave. :
- Tt would*®, well for the young
man who fisfim to rush headlong
into the matrimonial hence to ex
amine his intended’s teeth and see
if she is old enough to know the
difference between beer and ’polo
maris. It is of great importance
to notice the teeth. If you find
teeth decayed she has Tolu Gum,
then shun her as you would the
deadly cucumber.
When you wish to select 2 eow
you look to see first how mild
tempered she is. This tempera
ment is always worn decdllette
with cows with grey eyes, but do
not monkey with the girl who
wears grey eyes.
I have seen large grey eyed
girls who had a temper equal to
that of a mess-back razor. I have
also seen them bang the piaro
whila thair devoted mothers
would be wielding the washboard.
Some select a wife by their big
fuet and winning ways, but this
plan will not do to tia to, and you
need not lose any sleep about the
gir]l with the big feet and win
ning ways. They generally can
not bake a cake of bread fit for a
tramp to eat, and their shoe bills
amonnt to $472.2) a year, and the
first time you stayel up town
with the boys at night, her wim
ning ways would be a thing of the
past and she would meet you at
the door with a 16. yard mother
hubbard and a piece of last year’s
broom which would circle areund
your devoted head like unto the
festive mosquito,
Do nct select your neighbor's
wife. I have seen much wood
shed, bloodshad and strife caused
by selecting another man's wife.
Men who move in the best society
and borrow money at 10 per cent.
never do this. Some men though
take a delight in selecting anoth
ar man's wife, while others who
are braver take ten buckshot and
a 6-foot hole in the ground.
Don’t monkey with a widow. I
have sean widows two weeks be
fora their second marriage, that
would be as sweet as a pair of
black kittens or a box of home
made axle grease, and before the
syrup-moon would be over you
could hear her three blocks away
using snuff and other bad lan
guage at her husband-in-law, and
she takes a fiendish delight in
telling you that her poor dead
husband did not treet her half as
bad as you; and some " how or
other you will guess at the cause
of his death and know that even
in death he is at rest.
Never marry a girl that thinks
she can paint. Some few men do,
and when they come home at
mght fall of happiness and beer
aud take a seat on the easel and
have a landscape copied on the
seat of their breechaloonities, a
wail of despair will rise from the
poor young wife that could be
heard clean or unclean to Chica
go on a still night in “Literary
Lifa.”
Some men marry without ever
mceting their wives. They prob.
ably think there wi.. be plenty of
meetings after they mairy, and
they are generally correct in their
surmises,
A friend of mine, npw learning
the shoe trade in Sing-Sing, mar
ried a sixteen-year-old girl, and
she ran away and married ber
coachman in six weeks, and never
told her husband good-bye or be
stowed upon him a parting kiss.
He stole a mule and $37 and pur
sved the villain, and eaught him
and a bad cold, and he bas since
been confined to his rosm at Sing-
Sing, and all the inducements that
I can offer will not indace him to
take oatdoor exercise, It is,
therefore, best not to marry a
yonng and flighty gitl. I also
think there should be some law to
prevent coashmen from being im
posed on.
I have seen men live to regret
marrying an old maid. Never do
so only under protest.
Some men marry on $3.00 per
week, and expect their wives to be
angels and flit around at so much
per flit, milk three cows, saw
stove-wood, draw water and hoe
over the gardem; but when the
real life comes they find their
mistake.
Never marry a fashionable girl.
I have seen girls who were con
sidered the % fashionable in
their set, but when yon look in
upon them at the back gate you
will find that the fashion consists
of a siraw hat that her grand
mother wore and a merning wrap
per with a brick on each corner to
keep the wind from disarranging
her toilet.
The best kind of girl to marry
is a regular old Georgia girl; one
reared on the farm; one that can
cook a meal so good that it would
make a telephone hubngry; ome
that can sew on a batton, darn
socks and darn the husband for
making the darned holes; one that
will be of some use to' you, and
one that has naver seen a piano
or danced at a germaa, or sung at
a public entertainment. When ;
you find such a girl I think your i
years will be as great as Methuse- ‘
lah's. |
I have seen detestives hunting
for just such girls, but they all 1
sesm to be lost in the far-offness
of the hanga. Some will say,
“Well, my mother was just such a
woman;’ out, my son, you canno
marry your mother,
Loveis a very funny thing.
When a fellow’s honey-maon is
over, and he sits aronnd the fire
with sixteen kids and a wife with ‘
2 scab on her nose, and the butch
er comes to collact Aig bill widh,
dog and n double-barrelled gun,
then he will think of the many
single-barrelled days he has spent,
and the moisture will gather in
his eyes and he will rake down in
the ashes and scrape up a potato,
give his wife the peel and think
what a sacrifice he made when he
married. When all is still, he
slips out in the gloaming and
gloams up town to the “Clab.”
Such is lifa, and still we are in
the midst of amarchy and stom
achache.
Cowboy Romance.
N. O. States.
Two boys in St. Liouig,one four
teen aud the other fifteen years
of age, who had a wild desire to
become cowboys and exterminate
Indians in Texas,were collared by
a policeman as they were in the
act of boarding a train for San
Antonia and rudely walked off to
jail. The lads were equipped
with rifles, pistols, bowie knives,
bull whips and somobreros, and
other things necessary to the
slanghter of the wily savages that
rove around the bar rooms in fron
tier towns of Texas. There isfar
more romance in the idea than
in the following of a cowboy’s ca
reer and the boys would have
been taught a very good lesson,
and perhaps it wounid have been
better for them, in the long run,
had they been allowed to go upon
their journey, because after they
had reached ‘l'exas and made their
acquaintances with a bow-legged
cow-pony and heen dragged
through prickly pear thickets and
slammed down on a hard, bald
spet in the prairie, in a way pe
culiar to the cow-pony, they would
have sent some very earnest pe
titions to their friends to bring
them home. Texas cow-ponies
have rendered valuable service in
jolting the romance out of refrac
tory youths who left their parents
to bacome scouts and terrors of
the border, and the hardy ‘ittle
animals will always do the good
work whenever they have an o -
portanity., Nothing gives them
more pleasure than to make an
embryo desperado feel as if he
had dropped out of & baloon, sud
to them is due the eredit of turn.
ing into the paths of reetitude
and industry hundre's of youths
who wers gring netray,
MR. MITCHELL'S FREAK.
HE WAS AN INTERRSTED LIRTENER
! AT HIS OWN FUNERAL.
From the Hartford Times,
In the Southbury cemetery
stands a monument erected years
ago t» a resident of this town
named Mitchell. Not only gas it
erected to him, but by him, for he
had no intention of leaving this
worla without making all arrange
‘ments in whick he folt he might
‘be interested. It was a handsome
‘monument for those days, for Mr.
Mitchell had money enough to
‘match his eccentricities, but he
wasn't contented with the plain
marble. He went to work on it
himzelf add < dorged it with an
outstretched h(j,',d, grapevinues and
other devices. *.aen he wanted to
add a picture of himself, bat he
had to get a sculptor to do that
part of the work for obvious rea
sons. About that time Lorenzo
Dow, the famous and ecceatrie,
paid a visit to Southburry, and
what followed is cherished as a
village tradition.
Mr. Dow was engaged by Mr.
Mitchell to preach his funeral
sermon. Mitchell wanted to enjoy
an unusual luxury, and to make
the scene all the more realistic he
had a grave dug beside his monu
mént in White Oak Cametery.
The sermon was preached at the
vising of the day star, but ouve
part of the programms was omit
ted. The story goes that Mitch
ell nad set his heart upon lyingz
in his coffin at the bottom of the
grave while Lorenzo Dow was
gpeaking, but he gave that up be
cause somebody told him that if
he once got into his coflin the
earth would be thrown in upon
him. On the night before the
premature fareral some mischief
maker smeared with tar the lower
part of AMitehell’s marbls face on
the monument. Hog bristles
stuck in it recklessly made a sort
of beard, a hirsute adornment in
i< quntes thaps tinvad, bk i,
du.ged in by both Dow and Miteh
ell. Bat the trick was discovered
in time, tihe monument was clean
ed, and tha services took place at
the hour appointed. Crowds of
people came to see ani hear, and
the preacher’s address was waut
ing in none of the energy he threw
into everything he did. It was a
big day for Mitchell and all the
rest of Southbury. |
One interestiug piece of orna.
mentation has been removed from
the monument, which no longer
bears the head of the man it com
memorates. It wonld be well
worth seeing if it enly remained.
Bat it doesn’t, and, like Lorenzo
Dow, Mitchell will have to depend
upon the fame of his deeds to
keep himself from being forgot
ten by the residents of the town
he once mads lively. |
Men Were Gay Deceivers Ever.
“Ab, madame,”” he said, as he
extended a hand to help her up,
“I never saw a more graceful fall.
You threw up your arms like a
born actress, your little feet in
dulged in a shaffle, and down you
gettled with a swan-like move
ment which was superb.”
“Jeally, sir?”
“Honest Injun, mad.me.”
And he picked up a No. 7 rab
ber which had been flang from
her left foot, turned her back to a
dent in the snow which looked as
if a cottage had been upset there
and raising his hat and making a
profound bow, he took his leave,
while she got aboard a street car
and continued to blush and smile
for sixtecn blocks.—Detroit Free
Press.
*Consmmption can he Cara.
Dr. J. S. Comps, Owensville
Oliio, says: “I have given Scott's
Emulson of Cod Liver Oil with
Hypophopintes to four patienis
with better results than seemed
possible wity any remedy. All
were hareditary cases of Lung dis
ease, and advanced to that stage
when Coughs, pain in the chest,
frequent breathing, frequent
pulse, fover and Emaciation. All
these cises have imereased in
weight from 10 to 28 Ibs,, and are
not now needing any medicine. 1
preseribed no other Emulsion of
Cod Liver Oil with Hypophohi
tos, Lime, and Soda, but Seott's
believiag is to ba the best."
VYOL. 22.—N0 36.
WARRANTS WITHDRAWN.
Richmond Coats and Heary Cuyler
Released.
Albany Mews,
Richmond Ceatsand Henry
Cuyler, who, together with Jos
'Henry Watson, were recantly ar
rasted upon warrants charging
them with arson (in connection
‘with the Academy and Barnes
‘House stable fires), were reler.s-l
ed, yesterday morning, the war
rants against them being with
drawn. <
Richmond Coats did not get lib
erated from jail,however,as he was
out on bond on another case, and
his boudsman care off his bond,
wheu he was arrested upon this
last charge. It remains to be
seen whether he will be able to
make his bond gond again.
Joe Henry Watson, who had
his commitment trial befors Jus
tice Greer, and was bound over, is
now the quly one who stands char
ged with arson in connectin
with the recent incendiary fires
which had our city ina state of
uneasiness and excitement a few
weeks ago. His trial will not
come off until the April term of
the Superior Court.
ELI PERKINSSNOWED UNDER.
Columbus Equirer Sun.
According to the Birmingham
Age a reporter of that paper nam
ed G. H. Richardson, while going
to his boarding house en Wednes
day night, was “knocked down,
ckloroformed, and robbed of $55
and a revolver.” We sympathize
with Mr. Richardson and trust
that the robbers may e captured
and the property rocovered.
But did this really happan? the
story :has an “Arabian Nights" |
tinge about it, that staggera ecre
dulity at the start. A reporter
with 855 in his pocket, going non
chalantly along the street at night,
Great Jehosaphat! Was he treas
urer of the paper, as well as a re
porter? Was he on the staff at
the time of the robbory, or bad
he resigned after c.ming into pos
session of the $55? Surely he
didn’t intead to keep on slaving
his life away as a reporter when
he had 855. The probabilities are
that Wednesday is pay day with
the Birmingham papers; that the
robber knew it and laid for the
young man, and they got 55 cents,
the dollar mark having been put
in thoughtlessly by the composi
tor. If Mr. Richardson really
was a reporter and really had $55
he ought to be posing ina museum
asa curiosity and selling his pho.
tograph to the illustrated papers
instead of working for a living.
TFhere is somne things that even a
credulous public connot beliave
or conceive. One of these things
is areporter with $55. Why, if
this story about Reporter Rich
son's having 8355 were to be believ
ed throvgheut the country, in less
than a week Birmiaghim would
be full of journalists that it would
be easier for a man to climb over
a block of buildings than to elbow
his way around it. A reporter
with $55! Eli Perkins has beeu
snowed under at last
A Ghastly Fireplace.
Pittsburg Dispatch.
A Soathside physician nas eapped
the climaz of suggestions. He
is something of an artistin model
iugclay, and aftar he got his of
fice supplied with naturil gas he
made a cast of a skall. The
thing is horribly natural, even to
the sutures across the skull, and
one tooth knocked oant. This is
set up in the grate in such a way
that the blaish erimson flames of
the burning gas steal throngl
the eves and nostrils and flitter
playfally around the ghastly jaws.
Little jets of fluns fiash through
between the suuken jaws and
lighten up the bony csuntenanee,
heated to a white-rel heatin a
manner horribly suggostive of
other fires, whieh are said to barn
but not consnme,
Care for Siek Headache.
Far proof that Dr.Gunn’s Liv
er Pills cures Siek Headacha, ask
your Druggist for a free trial
package. Ouly ona for a doss,
Regular size boxes, 25 cents. Sold
by W. C. Kendrick.
Landrethis Garise Tarts, |
Warraoted fresh and pure. Fall
w 136 pa tive cents apices, at
Janes' g':"- Drug Store. o
STABBED WITH SHEARS
A DESPERATE WOMAX XiLLs srdlj
OF HER CHILDREN. - !
CLevELHND, O, January, ¥,
Jumes Cabal+ke is a well-te-de
carpenter. Ilis wifs ""“::‘“*‘:
,morgi‘:g u:?m’.a;w S
ber husband. After he 'x ais
oldest son went to the
mother sent two sons, aged fouse
teen and fifteen, on erraada
When they returned they eould
not get into the house. In the
back yard they found a youngee
brother hleeding from menyp
wounds. They speedily called
help and broke into the house and
found their two little sisters, aged
five and three, and a brother,
aged three monthe, dead from
many stabs. Angi.rl of eight wea
seriously hurt, and she, with the
‘boy found in the back yard, will
probably die. A blooly Iflr of
shears told the story. hunt
was fmud; .forththe mothe“u r. She
und in the ce Mnm
::::nc: rafter dead. She had kil
ed her three children, mortally
injured two others and had then
suicided. The two children whe
were still alive were removed to &
neighbor's Yonse. No cause for
the terrible deed is given. The
husband does not thinf that his
wife was insane,
The Next Crop. -
Menroe Advertiser.
Every man who proposes fo esls
tivate a crop this year, knows now
what means he has at command ta
meet the actual expenses of oualti
vating that erop; he knows how
many head of plow stock he has
or can pay for now; how much
corn and other forage: he has to
faed these stock; whether or not e
sufficiency; he knows how mueb
provisions or its equivalent he
has to furnish to his employeesg
ha also knows how much cash he
has in hand te moet the actnal i
cidental expenses which will ab
tend the cultivating of that erop.
Knowiang these facis, he knows
his financial ability as a farmee,
aund can therefore circumseribe
his farming programme,and bring
it within his means. If he haa
the means to meet the demands ef
a large farm and the capacity o
manage it to a successful issae,
let him plan accordingly. If he
has only means sufficient to maine
tain a one-horse crop, it is not in
accord with perfect safety to reach
beyoud this in his farming pro
grammeé. For whenever a farmer
reaches beycnd his power, and
takes upon himself a crop, the ex~
pense of which exceeds hia ownm
eapital, he is then forced to eall
on another for aid, which ecall, if
answerad, places himself under,
and his crop virtually in the hande
of him who aids, and therebp
takes from the farmer that inde
pendent managemont of his orop
products which should ever be re.
garded and held as sacred and an
inalienable right. For in this way
hundreds of farmers’ evtton have
been placed wunder forced sales
upon a depressed market, and lose
has accrued. Far better is it fop
any man to farm ou a small serle
independent of outside help thap
om a large scale, and thereby subs
ject himself to the beck and ecald
of others.
Therefore, if any of our farmew
readers have hitherto been carry.
ing a farm burden too weighty fop
their means, better to drop par#
of the burden; if they have been
farming on a scale not commen.
surate with their capital, better
reduce to a smaller territory, and
in this way keep out of the hande
of creditors. Indeed, commow
sonse dictates that it is decidedly
better for any farmer to come inte
market with four bales of ootton
unencumbered by debt, than te
come in with fifty bsles ooversd
with judgments, executions and
mortgages.
Henes, in planning now for
your crop operations during the
year, plan acecording to your
means now in hand, and not a 0
cording to the means that yon emy .
pact to realiza in the futare.
A Captain’s Fertunate Dimn”
Capt. Coleman, schooner Wey
mouth, plying between Atlaao
City and New York, had bean.
troubled with = cough so that he
was unable to sleep, and was ine
duced to try Dr. King's New Dis
covery for Consumption. It nof
only gave him instant relief, ba
nllayed the extreme soreness ia.
his breast. His children were
similerly affected and a single
dose had the same happy effect.
Dr. King's New Discovery ia now
the standard romedy in the Cele.
man housebuld anion board she
Boh(unw;: B f‘h"M
Free T tHaa of thi -
ard Rowedy at Croach Beos. Drog
Stare, :