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The Squirrel Prob'.em.
“A squirrel is lip a tree and a man
on the ground with a gun is trjing to
shoot it; but the squirrel len-ists in
keeping on the opposite side of tire
tree from the man. TLe man walks
clear around the tree to the place of
starting, the squirrel coing about in
the same direction and keeping the
tree all the time between itself and
the man. Now the pri b!em is, 'Hw
the man been around the squirrel?’
He has been around the tree with the
squirrel on it, but lias lie been around
the squirrel?” Toe Lores'* Invited
answers to this problem, and received
twenty-seven, of which fifteen say
yes, the man does go around the squir
rel, and twelve say no, he does not.
A few have sent us their reasons, and
two send figures demonstrating the
problem. The following answers are
printed:
1. Of course the man goes around
the squirrel. He goes around the
tree and everything on it.
2 Should the squirrel have the
start I am of the opinion that the man
goes around it.
3. Not by a good deal does the hun
ter walk around the squirrel.
4. The man does not go around the
squirrel. Might as well claim that—
by having a horse attached at A and
and another at B each describing the
same circle, keeping at opposite sides
of circle—the horse at A would at
every time going around the ring go
around the inside half <f B and that
B returned the compliment
(A X )B
to A In the same manner simple be
cause the outside of one descrioed a
larger circle than the inside of the
other. In other word* a man or horse
in describing any circle gees around
one half of himself.
6. The man goes around the squir
rel. It is just like a wheel within a
wheel.
6. The man don’t go around the
squirrel. I have tried it and had I
got around the squirrel I would have
shot it.
7. If there was no tree there and
the squirrel was ruuning around in a
circle on the ground and the man was
going in a larger circle I should say
the man went around the squirrel.
But when you put a tree there it is
different. The man does not go around
the squirrel on the tree.
8. The man doesn’t go around the
squirrel any more than the squirrel
goes around the man.
0. Of course the man doesn’t go
around the squirrel. If I am standing
on the nigh side of a horse and start
to walk round him, and the horse
keeps turning as I go, I am on the
nigh side of him all the time, am I
not? And I don’t go around him if I
am on the nigh side all the time, do
I ? The case is precisely similar to
this of the squirrel on a tree.
From 'Frisco to Buffalo the
Lauth Goes Round.
Tli’ Button Dodge.
lie driftrd into Phil McGovern’s
saloon the oilier evening, wiped his
forehead, ft it around in his pocket,
ai d -aid with a pleasant smile : “Well,
as it seem?, I have just one 10-ceut
piece left to-day, and I’ll take a
drink.” When the fiur fingers of
Antioch’s nerve-fangler had been se
creted in liis remotest recesses the
consumer fumbled among his keys,
and laid something on tbe counter.
As he did so he started and said, with
a look of amazement: “Great S ott 1
jmt look at that!” “I see it,” said the
barkeeper, scornfully regard ng tbe
alleged dime. “It’s a suspender but
ton. What of it?” “Well, I didn’t
look at it before. I just felt in my
pocket, and I’m blamtd if it didn’t
fool me. Ahem. I suppose you’ll
have to put this drink on ice until to
morrow, I’ll drop in and fix it.” “Oh!
of course you will. Hire take this,”
and the cocktail retailer handed over
a needle and llmad. “What’s that
for?” “Why, for you to sew on that
button right now; otherwise you
might make a mistake again this
evening somew’here else. Just sew her
on strong.” But the party with the
button was very much insulted, and
went out swearing that they didn’t
know how to treat one of the most
prominent citizens.
“Mean,” she cried, "My husband is
the meanest wretch in the world. He
won’t give me the least excune for
complaining.”
An exchange prints an able article
on “Hints on Plow to Go to Sleep.”
It is the most convincing article we
ever read on the subject. We were
fast asleep before we get half through
it.
An Albany paper tells of a woman
in that city who woke her husband
during a storm, the other night, and
said: "I do wish you would stop
snoring, for I want to hear the
thunder.”
“Ah! my friend,” said a clergyman
to a parishioner, who was the hubband
of a termagant and who made applica
tion for a divorce “we should be yield
ing and forgiving, There are no
divorces in heaven.” “That’s the
reason,” said the sufferer, “why I am
so anxious to get a divorce here.”
A Buffalo paper tells of a lover who
began to propose to his girl just as his
horse started to run with the sleigh
Being determined to have it over, he
got the question out at the moment
the sleigh struck the mile post. The
girl was thrown high into the air, but
as she came down she uttered a firm
“Yes, Chailie,” and then fainted.
harrowing groan fro tn the j atb’Ht sud
denly put them all to flight, except
M iesNightiuga'e, who turning cilmly
round called to them, “C mie back !
shame ou you as Cbrisdiane! shame
on you as women ! ’ They returned
holding each other’s trembling bauds
and some of them almost ready 1o
faiut. But they got oyer their ner
vous Wf atmeis as theit novitiate ad
vanced, and did an amount of good
that yet lives in the memory of many
a man rescued from death and p»id by
their gentle ministration.
M ss Nightingale’s work was duly
appreciated. At a large dinner-party
given by Lord S:ratford, when peace
had been made, to the superior officers
of the army, and navy, Miss Nightin
gale was also among the guests. W uen
the la lies had w ithdrawn, the ambas
sador made a speech recording the
services rendertd by those present,
aud gracefully alluding to the part
played by her. Where I was sitting
fl ittering remarks were made on the
conduct of those whom Loid Stratford
had so warmly praised. It was at last
proposed that everyone should write
on a slip of paper the name which ap
peared to him m' et likely to descend
to posterity with renown. The names
were written and given to the proposer
of this benevolent form of ostracism.
The papers were opened and read;
even one of them contained the name
of M.ss Nightingale. Au enthusias
tic cheer was raised, in which the
two commanders-in chief, Sir Wil
liam Codrington, of the army, and
Lord Lyons of the navy, were among
the most clamorous in their applause,
Lord Stratford lending the hurrah.
A Turtle-dove Widowhood.
Florence
Nightingale’s
ness.
Firm-
A New Society.
A “Society for Physical Research”
has been started under the presidency
of Mr. Henry Sidgwick. Several men
of note who have leanings in the di
rection of spiritualism, but who have
hitherto avoided declaring themselve3
so openly, are connected with it.
Mr. A. J. Balfour, M. P., Professor
Balfour Stewart, Mr. R. H. Hutton,
Hon. Roden Noel, Mr. F. Myers, Dr
Lockhart Robertson, and others. It
makes one rub one’s eyes to find
society founded in 1882 gravely an
nouncing a “Committee on Appari
tions, Haunted Houses,” etc., presided
over by Mr. Hensleigh Wedgwood.
It is a pity that the Cock Lane ghost
is extinct. There is a committee on
“Thought Reading,” headed by Pro
fessor Barrett.
By the way, we may mention that
Mr. Stuart Cumberland gave a singu
larly successful exposure of “thought
reading” before a distinguished audi
ence the other evening. He easily
discovered an object hid by M nsignor
Capel in Mr. Cumberland’s abscence
from the room. Iu a like manner,
but with even greater facility, a pin
stuck in a vest of a spiritualist doctor
by the secretary of the “Society for
Psjehical Research” was found by
Air. Cumberland. Professor Croom
Robertson and Professor Ray Lankes-
ter stated that where Mr. Bishop had
failed Mr. Cumberland bad succeeded,
id that he was by far the greatest ex
tent of the profession that had yet
kjvard— the special merit of his
Lits lying iu the fact tHht he
|^en«ions, simply claiming
natural perceution.
There were nine hundred wounded
who were at once sent to tbe hospital
at Scutari. Miss Nightingale had ar
rived there with her bevy of lady
nurses. Her first act showed her won
derful energy and determination. The
steamers laden with the wounded had
cast auchor at Constantinople. There
were not yet any mattresses or bed
clothes on the camp beds in the hos
pital, and the latter were not nearly
sufficient in number for the wounded
coming. Miss Nightingale went to
the Quartermaster Sergeant in charge
of the stores, and asked him for the
stores w’hlch she required. He told
her there was everything she could
desire in the magsziues, but that she
must get the Inspector General of
Hospitals to write an official letter to
the Quartermaster General, who
would send him an authority to draw
the stores, and that sho might then
receive them on showing that author
ity. Miss Nightingale asked how
longthis would take. Ou being toldtliat
three days would be the shortesftime
necessary for the correspondence, she
answered that nine hundred wounded
officers and men would be In the hos
pital iu three hours, and that she
must have what they required Imme
diately. She then went to the maga
zines, and telling the sergeant of the
guard there who she was, asked him
if he could take au order from her.
He said he would, aud site ordered
him to diive in the door. This was
done, and the wounded were provided
for in time.
Her firmness at surgical operations
was something marvelous ; her appre
ciation of her mission was grand. Sue
stood one day with spirits, instruments
and lint in hand, during the perform
ing of aLightful amputation. Half a
d( zen young lady nurses wtre behind
liev, holding basins, towels aud other
t.hinu?fl-the surgeous mig.it want. A
The Humorous Aid3 Digestion.
Compromise.
A man was once asked how he and
his wife got along with so little fric
tion iu the family machinery. “Well,”
said he, “when we were first married
we both wanted our own way. I want
ed to sleep on linen sheets, my wife
preferred cotton, and w# couldn’t
agree. Finally we talked the matter
over, and came to the conclusion that
it was unchristian to live in constant
bickering; so we compromised on
linen, aud have got along all right
ever since.”
Where an Appeal Didn’t Lie
Montreal,some y ears ago, in the days
of the Oid Court House, to feast his
eyes upon which Nelson’s statue oppo
site turned his back upon the blue
waters of the St. Lawrence, had a very
matter-cf-fact magistrate who dis
pensed justice in the base cent of the
temple of Themis. Oue fine day his
H mor had just given judgment in a
suit where both plaintiff and defend
ant were women, and the defend ^rt,
who had been ordered to pay the dtbt,
amounting to about $2.75, with costs,
happened to be a woman of deep con
victions as to the justice of her case,
so, wrapping her shawl closely around
her and lifting one bony arm tragi
cally, she exclaimed solemuly:
“Your H mor, there’s a court above
to which I will appeal”—
“There is no appeal to the Court up
stairs, my good woman, except in
eases involving sums of $40 or over.
Call the next case !” was the brisk re
ply of the deeply unimpressed magis
trate, and the defendant was hustled
out of the Court before she could ex
plain.
I tell you, gentlemen, that dog of
mine is an intelligent critter.” “Pov
feibly,” muttered Fogg; “but you
wouldn’t think it, judging from the
company he keeps.”
An Irishman on board a vessel,
when she was on the point of founder
ing, being desired to come on deck as
she was going down, replied that he
had no wish to go on deck to see him
self drowned.
“Green, let me Introduce you to my
friend Brown.” Green—“How are
you, Brown?” Brown—“it’s my color
and I can’t help it? How are you,
Green?” Green didn’t like the joke,
evidently,, for he changed color.
An English contemporary tells the
story of the beadle who did not like u
sermon because lie said, “It was rather
ower plain and simple forme. I like
that sermon best that jumbles the
ioodgment and confoond the sense.”
He came home the other night in
the drizzling rain, soaked inside as
well as out. "What excuse have you
to offer,” said his bolter half, “for
coming huue in such a beery condi
tion ? ’ “None, my dear, ’cept ’i,va.3 a
very muggy day. •
The electric light will affect the
colors of clotIih as well as paintings in
ihe same way, but not so quickly, as
sunlight.
The grief of the Princess of Bora at
tbe loss of her husband is sfill remem
bered throughout Paris. Within her
doors draped iu black, in tire Parisian
mourning emblazoned with ciphers,
there reigned the terrible despair of a
devout .Spanish woman. The Princvss
cut off her hair, and secluded herselt
from every one. In her mourning
robes, with her youthful head shorn
of its locks, she had the appearance of
a nun, which made her hotel resemble
a convent, blie passed her days be
fore the jiortratt of her husband, and
dined alone in the large dining-room,
where every evening the table was
spread fi r two. Tbe cane and tbe hat
of tbe Prince remained in the ante
room in their accustomed places, as if
the master, although he had left home
forever, had just come in. ILs pres
ence being thus recalled, rendered the
despair ot the poor wiie more intense,
and the void of his absence even
greater.
But of all that round of calls, balls,
receptions and concerts where they
had met and loved, and which fet, as
it were, their happiness in a fashions-
ule society frame, the retained only
one friend, the Baiouess Auceliu, a
drawing room prima-donna, who was
indebted to her beautiful voice for
having remained the intimate friend
of the Princess, whose great inconsola
ble and noisy grief made all conversa
lion jar upon her mood, but who loved
to hear singing around her, as it
helped her to give vent to tears.
Two years passed thus, and the
widovy was still sorrowful, still austere.
Her hair, however, was allowed to
mow, rippling over the head with re
bellious life in luxuriant cutis and
waves. Her mourning was thus
lightened and made more cheerful,
aud seems now to be worn only as a
caprice of fashion. It was ai this
period that tne nephew of Mme. An-
celin, meeting the Princess at his
auut’s house, fell desperately in love
and began to dream of marrying her.
At the first word erf love he ventured
to address to her, the widow became
indignant. To her the Prince still
lived, and this effer seemed an insult
tempting her to be unfaithful. For
some time the did not see her friend,
the Baroness. The young man went
away and tried to forget, but soon re
turned, and show ed so much love and
despair that Mine. Ancelin took pity
on him aud resolved to overcome the
scruples of the Princess. But how
could she persuade a woman with so
peculiar a nature, who never reasons,
and who was led only by impulse and
enthusiasm.
She believed that a passion so exclu
sive must necessarily be j-alous, and
tried to obtain some old letters of the
Prince. This was not very difficult,
M. de Bora having written many be
fore his marriage, and scattered his
»crawls throughout a multitude of
little boxes and locked drawers,
w hich, however, were so well hidden
one from the other, that each might
boast of being the sole possessor of the
perfumed coat-of-armsof the great lord.
In order to bring a few sheets of
tom# common-place romance in letters
without date to show to the wi low,
Mme. Ancelin had the courage to pre
sent herself again at the hotel which
was like a tomb of the dead, a silent,
flower-decked tomb, were all day long
wept a living statue.
It was not grief, but the falling of
her idol that now became her pain.
Poor little Princess! Her years of hap
piness, aud period of widowhood alike
rolled down an l vanished into the
same abyss of scorn and auger. No
thing remained but an intense desire
to avenge herself. The portrait was
banished from her room. The second
plate at table by which she tried to
delude hor fancy that she was not
alone was now removed from before
the empty, sacredly guarded seat;
and iu the crowded ante-room which
was henceforth to be opened to callers
and passers to and fro, the hat aud
cane that hail been there so long were
no longer to be seen. There were fetes
at the hotel de Bora now, balls and
suppers. As a changeful sky skakes
off the night that lingered long, the
Princess emerged in gray, lilac, pink
and blue, recovering all former brill
iancy. Then oue evening, while
walking in her small conservatory,
the said to Mme. Anc liu’s nephew,
who had been following her about
like a gloomy shadow since h*r return
to tbe sunlight: ‘ Now 1 will bo your
wife whenever you wish.” Bhe would
have liked to have tbe ceremony per
formed that.vej.y moment iu the con
servatory.
They wero man led very soon after
aud were happy, she through a kind
of rage, and he perplexed and a-ton-
ished at her suddea passion, but on*
joying his happiness without seeking
to analyse it too closely. Hi society
the marriage v»s much talked about.
Tbe Baroness Ancelin, remembering
similar phrases in her romances, has
ready a charming little speech upon
the subject: “ Do you seethe Piiucess!
People thought she was lamenting,
whereas her lamenting was cooing.”
Bix months elapsed. The newly-
matried couple were living in the
country, in a chateau in thesubuib3
of Paris, where the friend made them
a visit. Seeing them quietly maui-
fi sting their happiness as they walked
among the smooth lawn®, and silent
paths, the charming Baroness, who
was never far-righted, having her eyes
open only to the present moment,
suddenly said to them: “Tt was I
who made you so happy. Well, I do
not regret my falsehood.”
The Princess gave a sudden start*
“What do you say? What fals^
hood ?’’
“Yes, dear, I can tell you every
thing now. The poor Prince was not
so black as I painted him. Tbos#
famous letters were dated five years
buck. You were not married then.”
“Is this what you have done?”
said the Princess, looking at her hus
band and her friend with an expres
sion of madness in her eyes. The
dead, fugotten Prince, whose name
she no longer bore, wholly resumed
his former place in her affection®, aa
hrr husband plainly saw by a shrink
ing motion as bhe drew back from
him.
All was over between them without
a word of explanation. The Princess
shut herself up at home aud in an
agony that lasted long she gave way
fo all the remorse that tortured her.
The unhappy woman had married
again, not for love, but out of revenge,
nnd finding that the Prince was not
unfaithful she felt guilty towards him
and ashamed of herself. With what
pity and sorrow she recalled his mem
ory that had been so rudely banished,
and now rttumed with the same
power!
The poor Inver held himself aloof,
knowing well that be was nothing to
her; her former passion returning
with such strength had killed what
she felt for him as by one blow.
At the last moment, as Mme. Ance
lin was weeping near her, being over
come with remorse, although hardly
understanding her fault, the Princess
leaned over towards the thoughtless
creature, who had fluttered like a but
ter fly across ber straight aud serious
path, aud said in a voice too feeble for
tbe complaint to rtsemb’e a reproach,
“You see I am not oooing. I am dy
ing.”
And it was true.
Elephants and Their Teeth.
Empress, the female elephant at the
Zoological Garden, St. Louis, has just
passed through one of the in (Steeling
changes looked for iu her species ia
about her age, in th£ shedding of hei
back, or, as they are called, “milk”
teeth Recently, Empress appeared a
little dull and seemed to have lost her
appitite. S cretary Kalb had her
watched closely, but could not deter
mine what was the matter, until there
appeared the crowns of several teeth.
These crowns were about three inches
long and one-half wide and an inch
thick, and made the cause of her indis
position clejr. An examination of
her mouth corroborated the same
thing, the “milkers” having disap
peared. Within an hour Empress
began to regain her wonted good
htalth and soon made known that she
was longing for something to eat.
This Joss of her early molars is said to
occur at the age of ten years.
English Humor.
The London Spectator says that “the
humor of the United States, if closely
examined, will be fi und to depend in
a great measure ou the ascendency
which the principle of utility has
gained over the imaginations of a
rather imaginative people.” The
humor of England, if closely exam
ined, will be found just about ready to
drop over the picket fence into the
arena, but never quite making con
nections. If we scan the English lit-
erary horizon we will find the humor-
is up a tall tree, depending from a
sharp knot thereof by the slack of his
overalls. He is just out of sight at the
time you look in that direction. He
alwiys has a man working in liis
place, however. The man who works
in his place is just paring down tl|
half sole and newly pegging
that tins recently beet, sent In
foreman for repairs.
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