Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page.

—— (The (Tine (Citizen. Sullivan Brothers, Publishers. .1«iib.Miri])tion Rates : ()no Chjiy one your - - S2 001 “ “ six months - I 001 “ “ three months - 501 P 0 S ITIV E L Y CASH. Lowndes county takes the cake ir the first ripe watermelons. If pc peaches wi re reported near onion, (>a.. on the 1 lt!i in.d. CITIZEN. Volume 2. Waynesboro, Georgia, Friday, May 18th, 1883. Number 2. (The (True (f ifiznt. Advertising Hates i Tnmslont ml vs. piiytiltlv In mlvmicc. 1 'oil tract ail vs. pavalila quarterly. t'oiinniinlcallnns for pcrsonnl liciicflt will lift churned fur as ailvs., payable In advance. Advs. occupylm' special position chained 23 par rent, mldltlnnnl. Notices amonit ramllnj; matter 10 cents per line, each Insert Ion. Notices in I,oral A- lUisiness column, next to remlltur. 3 cents per line each Insertion. All notices will lie placed anions reading matter If not specially ordered otherwise. Kor terms apply at. this otHee. Only A Xrusimiirr Mull. The Hartwell Sun reports wheat s looking unusually well in that t.unty. The water from the artesian well i Alhany, On., it is said, will burst i bottle. This is the first instance pf explosive water we ever hoard of. Boidsville i'inle r prise: There litis lot been any Western corn sold in itnall county this spring, and many of our farmer have corn to 11. Florida roasting ears are worth >nly fifty cents per dozen in the 'avanmth market. The ears are a ittli* longer than a short man’s middle finger. Gainesville Southron: H. II, p’erry, Esq., of this city, sent off through the mails a day or two ago l letter addressed to London F.ng- [and, upon which the postage was Itreo dollars. Louisville and Cincinnati pro duce merchants are sending out heir circulars, begging Southern >1 anters to raise less cotton, and nore hog and hominy. Comment ientirely unnecessarv. | We arc; nolnuly, then It is curious! (inly t he slave of a pen; The place which we designate “sanctum” Is 1 he lair of a hcast or a den. Our work any one could accomplish! .1 list try It, dear sir, if you can. You'll lind that in one thing you’re lacking, I 'Tis the snap of a newspaper man. I've stood In the parvenu’s parlors, 1 Where wealth to the eye Is unrolled— When* mankind is put in tin* balance, And weight'd by the standard of gold; And creatures of heaut.v and fashion, Whose life is a frivolous span, 11ivw aside ns If t here were contagion In the touch of a newspaper man. And I thought ; are my hands red with mur der? I>f) I merit the signed of Cain? Nay, surely I must he a leper— All marked with the hideous stain! I'.ut no, there are more potent reasons Kor putting me under the Imn; The sneer and the look say I’m only— < inly a newspaper man. Is it. wrong to use papers and scissors? Is it crime to get bread by the pen? Would intellect shine like adiamond I f newspapers never had been? The man who absconds with a million Is soon welcomed hack from Japan; While he whose page sparkles with beauty Is only a newspaper man. I’m proud of my rank and my station, As the monarch is proud of his throne; I’ve kindred in every nation, And brethren in every zone; The high, the rich and the haughty— Deny it to-day, if you can— Will fawn for the sake of a notice At the feet of a newspaperman. in my Master .lames Longstreet, ..onortil James Longstreel, lias re ceived an appointment from the ‘resident to a radclship-at-large at Anapolis, and reported at the Aead- ’inyon the loth inst., according to nstrnctions from tlu* Secretary. I wonder, sonietlmrs, in my sntuduni, When linin' with tin: work of tlie day, I f we have a rliflit to t ho heaven, I lea ul i fill, Ill'll lit, far a way; | Will the angels who stand at the portals, To welcome whoever they nan, soil of l’ l| rn aside when they see us anil whisper, ’s i. d.v a newspaper uiiin.” SIIOCKIXO ItKVKI.ATIONS. Ainsusta ('hronlek'. The New York Herald of Tuesday last, contains some very shocking revelations. It seems that in the A boat containing a quartette of very heart of the metropolis, and oung ladies and gentlemen, who hard by Christian churches and The reporter talked with a num ber of responsible residents of the neighborhood, who corroborated everything said by the priest. Some ofthe incidents described were hor rible beyond description. One gen tleman said that there were police men who made a good deal of mon ey bv acting as guides to visitors to j Chinatown. The reporter saw at least a score of pale-faced and neat ly dressed girls going in and com ing out ofthe different opium dens | which were indicated to him. “Now,” said the guide when the j tour was finished, “there should be I fathers and mothers enough in i New York to stamp out this curse I of curses.” When people sink into moral de- ! erepitude, the I)evil, no doubt, furn- j islies ample means for drifting | them into perdition. Wo do not marvel that the people of California protest against wholesale Chinese immigration when they have ruin- ! ed that State, as well as all the other States and Territories there with barbarous and bruitish immorali- ! ties, and the introduction of horri- i hie Oriental diseases. And if what we read is true, the people of Amer ica will rue the day they wore ever admitted into this land. There is now no law to prevent their coming, but Congress should immediately, | enact laws forever forbidding a Chinaman to set foot on American i soil, no matter if it cost every cent’s | worth of commerce from that God- i loss land. The interests of tire whole j people of this great nation are greatly paramount to the individ ual interest of a few grasping impor ters. vere pic-meing near Macon, cap sized, and the party had a narrow (escape from drowning. One of [the young ladies lost a diamond ring and the other a gold watch. Wasson, the thieving paymaster ofthe United States army, was an [especial pel of (.jrant. He was also i dear churn of Fred Grant, tie further enjoyed the distinction of | [being the son-in-law of John A. Gingham, a man who assisted to hang a woman he knew to be inno- leent. Justice is slow, but it is sure. charitable buildings, a Chinese col ony has been established, which, according to statements made by priests and laymen, is worse than an association of lepers.— Leprosy can only destroy the mor tal organization; but this Chinese colony, from all accounts, is busily j engaged in tiie ruin of bodies and souls. The charge is from the high est quarters, that in opium dens, conducted by Fagan barbarians, horrid orgies are carried on, result ing in the corruption of children of respectable parents. The police are During Hie late storm, a t ree suspected of being in the pay of the [was blown over near Cherokee Ghinese; for when their attention Corner, in Oglethorpe county, and jwas failed to these infamies by in- aniong its roots were found a mini- dignant ministers, curses and in- Sher of heads and eartliware. it j suits were the only answer made, was supposed to have been the!*' 1 default of any satisfaction in grave of a chief, as hominy was that quarter, the great journals are 'ound where a vase had been bro- nailed upon to rouse public opinions veil. Many years ago the place against these dens, and a minister vas inhabited by Indians, from ! "1 Hio gospel, after detailing facts vhonce it received its name, and within his knowledge says: “1 me of their many superstitions was don’t care whether a man professes hat their chief would require j religion or not, liis cheeks must Miougli hominy to last him until he U'urn with indignation when he is cached the happy hiintinggrounds. I font routed with these facts.” It it was buried with great cere- s<>on,s that procuresses are hired to nony, in a charmed vase, at his ! entice young girls into these opium lead. A llOKltl I'.l.k STtlllY. Augusta .Yews: Doth Judge ‘aimer and \V. II. 1 farrison, whom iov. .McDaniel lias just appointed o positions in his cabinet, are oili- ors. Judge Palmer of the Wnynes- >oro //craht, and Mr. Harrison of he Lumpkin Independent. \Ve have corrected many errors mule by our “esteemed” contempo- aries of men and occurrences in Yaynesboro and Burke county, Aiul have let many pass unnoticed. Judge Palmer is not now, nor lias io been for several years in the ed- torial profession, hut lias devoted ilinsell' to the practice of law, and mills an honorohle position at the Gar throughout this judicial circuit. Huskies ibis he never was the edi tor of the Herald, hut was the edi tor of the depositor, for several years hi'fore i( combined with the JJeruld. These are the facts in re- nrd to Judge Palmer. Macon Telegraph: Speaking of ho railroads, there is a widespread •eport on the streets of Atlanta to- hells. Attracted there by curiosity at first, repetitions of the visit oc cur until all self-respect and moral courage disappear. It is said that the Chinese have of late grown hold and insolent, instead of coy and secret, as in the initial stages of their traffic. We cannot repeat the horrors that have been circumstan tially detailed, hut the following testimony may suffice: You can see how profitable this iniquity is to the Chinamen who are responsible-for it, when some of them pay as much as $:!() and 140 a month for a couple of rooms in n rickety house. The Chinaman who kept a gambling and opium den in (lii- basement of a Alott street house oll'ered the woman who lived up stairs, $ 100 bonus to vacate her rooms. She expressed surprise that he couid afford the money, and the Chinaman replied that he some- limes made as much us if:inn a day.— There is a Chinaman on the same street who had the utfrontery to otter one of our members .fotM) if he Till' Itmly nf a Kliter Kouml mi a DDsi'illnir Tahir 11)' a Yuuiiir Meilleal Student. Cleveland Herald. A prominent physician of North ern Ohio yesterday related to a Herald reporter the particulars of a horrible occurrence which hap pened some little time ago, hut which lias heretofore been kept from tin* public through the exer tions of tiie parties concerned. For obvious reasons the names will he withheld, but the rest of the facts are given as received from tiie lips ofthe reporter’s informant. Last fall a young gentleman, son of a prominent resident of a town not a'hundred miles from Cleveland, went to New York for the purpose of attending a course of medical lectures at one of the most widely known medical colleges in the country. After a sojourn in New York of about two months the young man was suddenly called to his home in Ohio by a telegram an nouncing the severe illness of his only sister, a beautiful young maid en just budding into womanhood, and justly celebrated not only for her beauties of face and form, but as well for her lovable and amiable disposition. <)n receipt of the message from home the young man lost no time, hut traveled by night and day until at tiie bedside of his loved one.— Although nursed by loving hands and watched over with the tender- crest solicitude, three days after the brother’s arrival home the young lay, May 14th, that SenatorCnlquit could secure the basement of the iiud General Gordon have made a ‘ association’s rooms for him. lam [failure in their railroad and other; glad that the Moravian Brethren, enterprises, and that the millions | who own ii large amount ofprop- witli which they have boon credited j orty on Mott street, cleared out (have suddenly melted. To what! their Chinese tenants some time \xtent this rumored failure is true I ago, and they will not admit these I have been unable to ascertain, barbarians to their houses at any [beyond that it is street talk, I tis! price. [also stated in tills eonnootion, that 1 have seen richly attired ladles, [work has been suspended on Komi-! whose appearance indicated refliio- or ( nlquitl’s princely mansion, in incut, visit (lie opium shops regular- •nurse ot erection at Kdgewood,— j ly. A few months ago, a woman it is surmised that these gentlemen jbnvo suffered themselves to lie .squeezed in the lluctuat ions of Geor gia Fuel fie stock. This at least was apprehended some time since by knowing ones, who were shrewd enough to unload Georgia Pacific stock when it was enjoying its little boom. If the report, us given, should prove correct, it is |o he [hoped tlu> wreck will leave these distinguished Georgians at least a competency out ofthe mythical mil lions. who was dressed in very costly up- pare!, and very costly jewels, stag geivd against me in Mott street.— She was stupefied with opium, and her face was very white, Some times several carriage loads of well dressed ladies and gentlemen, if I may so call them, drive into Mott street. The occupants generally get out in front of the church of the Transfiguration, and from there, walk to the opium shops. You would he surprised to see the class of people who cone Imre. was attracted by the ribald re marks of two of the students, who were busily hacking away at the abject before them. One of the tudents, noticing liis expression of surprise, accosted him and request ed that he give them his opinion as to whether the teeth in the mouth of the body were genuine or false. Shuddering at the thought of touch ing the inanimate clay, yet disliking to 1k> regarded as a cow ard by his fellows, the young man hastily stup ed to the side of the table where the others were working. As his eyes rested on the table his cheek paled, his countenance) grew livid, and with nil unearthly shriek he fell swooning to the floor. There be fore him, with her fair white flesh cut and bleeding was the body of his loved sister, whom he had so recently seen laid to rest in the earth. Can a more agonizing sight he imagined? Well may the read er shudder at the Imre thought and utter silent prayer that he may be delivered from such an awful expe rience. The young man was picked up by his amazed and startled compan ions and carried to his boarding house, where at last lie regained consciousness, but only to glare wildly around him for an instant and then swoon again. His parents wore telegraphed for, and when they arrived at the sufferer's side he was rolling and tossing in the midst of a severe attack of brain fever. For six long weeks were the vigils kept up, tin* young man failing to recognize the countenances of the almost heart broken father and mother, who constantly hovered over him, endeavoring to obtain some sign of recognition, but all in vain. At times it required the uni ted strength of three stout men to hold him in the bed, as lie endeav ored to escape his nurses. At such times he would sink, back exhaust ed after the struggle,' and piteously exclaim: “Why won’t you let me rescue my darling sister.” At the end of six weeks a change was noticeable. That a crisis was imminent seemed apparent to all. Tne young mail’s physical condition was fearfully reduced. He was so emaciated that the hones seemed to protrude from the flesh, and ids hands and lingers were more like the claws of a bird than anything else. On the day in question, lie calmly looked around, and observ ing li is mother in the room, gently requested her to hand him a drink of water. The overjoyed mother hastened to comply with his wishes and proffered him the glass, where at lie disclaimed any desire for any thing to drink, which of course caused, her to observe him care fully, which she did, and alas! it was lint too easily deccrnible flint what sho feared most had conic true, and her soil was a maniac Although quiet in demeanor, there was that in his eyes which told the fearful story that reason had jeft her throne,perhaps, forever. The services of a distinguished specialist in mental diseases were engaged, but lie could do naught for the mind diseased, and with sorrow ladened hearts tin* anguished pa rents wore compelled to place their lady died. Her gentle spirit peace fully took its flight and returned to I strit ‘ k(>n ina private asylum the Maker who gave it. Words fail to depict tin* anguish and inconsol able sorrow and grief that the be reaved family felt for tiie loss of their beloved one. The mother, worn and exhausted by long eon- tinned worry and sleepless nights passed at the .Milo of the dear one’s couch of pain and suffering, suc cumbed to nature’s mandate, and was, soon after the daughter’s funer al, herself tossing in an agony of delirium. For two weeks her spirit hovered between life and death, hut finally' science triumphed and the light of consciousness shone from her eyes again. As soon ns his mother’s convalescence was suf ficiently assured to warrant ids leav ing home, the young man returned to the pursuit of his medical studies in New York. Shortly thereafter the young man was directed by the Demonstrator of Anatomy of the College to com mence the work of dissection, and with that In view he was assigned a portion nf the subject on which to commence operations, Tiie young man made ids first visit to the dis secting room in the college building, and was initiated by some of ids older students, into the mysteries ofthe use ofthe scalpel and dissect ing knife. After the first shock in cident to the horrible sights jvhleli greeted his gaze had passed away, he wandered curiously through the long room, with its saw-dust cover- e<l*floor and plain deal tables cover ed by human bodies in tlu> various| stages of decomposition and mutila tion. Faint and almost overcome by tho deadly odor which permeat ed tiie room, lie was about to take his departure, when his attention tor the insane, where he now Is, and the prospect is that there he will re main the balance of his life. Most of the time he is quiet and docile, hut at times his eyes dilate with an expression of great fear, and lie calls aloud the name of ids dead sis ter, and assures her that he will stive her from all harm, The aged and grief stricken parents visit their grief stricken son quite often, and although lie recognizes and calls them by name, yet lie always upbraids them for not allowing him to leave the asylum and rescue his sister from some impending danger, which lie imagines menaces her. The Dalton Aryan declares this not to lio a fish story: A t'ona- sauga river man set out Ids hook the other day, and it was swallow ed by an eel of fine dimensions. A seventeen pound trout came along and went for his eelsldp, which in stead of being taken down tiie reg ular channel, worked its way through the trout's gills, and wrap ped Itself tightly around itseana- ballstic enemy, leaving it strung on the line. The lucky fisherman took them both in. Tills story is vouched for, It is said that to him who goes to law nine things are requisite, in the first place a good deal of money | -d, a good deal of patience; .'id, a good cause; 4th, a good attorney; nth, good counsel; (1th, good evi dence; 7th, a good Jury; Nth, a good Judge; and fitli, good luck. 1‘(‘aches are said to he ripening in Spaulding county. Subscriptions are positively cusli TIIK MARY CKI.KKTK. A Dark anil Cnsolvcil Mynlcry nfllir Sea- of Murder. The sea has its myeries Hie same » the land. How many dreadful evidences of crime lie buried in the ocean, never more to be seen by hu man eyes, none may know. A brig named the “Mary Celeste,” arrived lately at New York witli a cargo of sugar from Manzanillo, Cuba. She now lies at Finlay’s stores, Atlantic docks, Brooklyn, where her cargo was discharged. There is a dark mystery connected with this vest- history, says a correspondent of Hie Fhihidelyhia Star, which will probably never he cleared up.— About twelve or thirteen years ago she was found at sea, with all sails set, hut drifting helplessly with the wind, and no steersman at her helm. Her disabled condition was noticed by the crew of another ves sel passing, and a boat was lowered and men selected to board tin* strange craft, and see what the mat ter was. Sailors are naturally su perstitious, and with visions of the Flying Dutchman in their minds, much difficulty was found to induce the men to go on hoard; hut at last they did board her, and were amaz ed to find that not a living creature could bo seen on the mysterious vessel. With fear, and trembling, they descended to the cabin, where everything was found in complete order, just as if its occupants had quitted it temporarily. A watch, supposed to lie the captain’s, was found hanging near his berth, and Hie berth itself was empty, and tiie heckling was arranged neatly. A sewing machine was also in the cabin, with work tlint told of a wo man’s recent presence, lying near it. Children's clothing was likewise found.there, some of which had ev idently been worn, and more only part made up, proof that a woman’s hands had been busy with it not long previously. Tiie vessel’s car go was found all safe, as far as could he seen, and there was no evi dence whatever that she had sprung a leak, or had suffered from fire. If there had been, her desert ed condition could have been ac counted for, for then it would lie supposed that the captain and crew had deserted her to save their own lives, and let the brig sink. On looking further,]) tiie sailors were horrified to find blood on the side of the vessel, although none could he seen on her deck or in the cabin.— 'This told a tale of murder and prob able mutiny. One of her boats was missing, which was another link in the chain of evidence. Nothing re mained to ho done but to take charge of tin* deserted vessel, and bring her into port. This was tiie least unpleasant task to tho sailors, for under marine laws of iloatsam and jetsam, a deserted vessel found at sea is the prize of those who find her, and tho percentage to each man of this one was large. She was brought safely to one of the Eastern ports, where it was learned that tho “Mary Celeste”—she had another name then—was on her way home from a Mediterranean port when she was abandoned.— Wlu> belonged to Rhode Island, from whence she sailed originally. The captain, who also sailed from there, had taken ids wife and two chil dren with him on tiie voyage, and it was morally certain that they were cruelly murdered, for from that day to this, neither they or the crew have ever been heard of or seen. The supposition is that those who committed tiie murder escaped in the missing boat, and either lan ded safely or were drowned in their attempt to do so. I might add that the vessel lias been an unlucky one ever since, and lias changed own ers several times. Even now I learn that the present owners are anxious to sell her, hut they cannot find a purchaser, and such is the repug nance of people to have anything to do with a vessel that has such a dark history, that even freight is dUflcult to get for her. C. Windcmann communicates a new method of making an invisable ink to tiie J>ie Natnr. To make tho writing or the drawing appear, which lias boon made upon paper with tho ink, it is sufficient to dip it Into water. On drying, the traces disappear again, and reappear by each succeeding immersion. The ink is made by intimately mixing linseed oil, 1 part; water of amoiiia, parts; water, 100 parts. The mixture must he agitated each time before the pen Is dipped into it, a little of tho oil may .separate and float on top, which would, of course, leave an oily stain upon tiie paper. 1‘ams, Kv., May II.—Two broth ers named Beeves, farmers, quar reled yesterday about tiie proper depth to plant corn. The “lie” pass ed, when one shot the other in the left breast. The wound is pot thought to he fatal, (TltltK.XT (fl.KAMXUS. Il«> >Vus it S.t v4nnall Man. Pont-Appeal. As indicative of the wonderful enterprise of Atlanta as compared with the older and sleepier cities of the State, a Savannah Knight of Fytldason seeing the gigantic pro portions and costly material of the new hank in course of erection, on the corner of Alabama and I’ryor streets, after gazing at it long and earnestly, exclaimed: “Good God! if a Savannah man was caught put ting up a building like that, he would he sent to the asylum.” First Ken Wheat. Savannah Recorder. Sumter county lias had tiie repu tation of producing the first wheat for a number of years past. On Friday last Mr. Lonard Parker car ried to Amerieus samples of as fair a quality of grain as one would wish to see. It was pronounced first-class by experts. This wheat was planted the first week in De cember, on common red land, which has been hi cultivation’ for forty years, and had no extra fertiliza tion or preparation, yet tho yield was twelve and a half bushels per acre. (ii'iiralj Fruit (.rowers. Atlanta Constitution. The following railroads, viz: Cen tral, Virginia and Georgia, Wes tern and Atlantic, Georgia and South Carolina, have agreed to transport delegates to the Georgia State Fruit Growers Convention, to be held at tiie State capital on 24th inst., at .‘J o’clock p. in., at tiie rate of two cents per mile. Dele gates in order to take advantage of these rates will have to secure a round trip ticket before starting, and have the same endorsed by the secretary of tiie convention. All growers and shippers have a right to he represented. The growers and shippers of South Carolina, Alaba ma and Florida are by special res olution invited to attend. As tiie business before the convention is of an important nature, tiie meeting will doubtless be a very large one. Five Convicts Shut. CoiiUM hi A, S. C., May 12.—Intelli gence reached here last night from the convict camp on tho George town and Lanes Railroad, that a break for liberty was made on the 4th inst., by nine convicts out of ninety engaged on the works. The guards fired on them, killing one man outright. Another was shot in the river and drowned. Three others were also shot, and it is sup posed have drowned. Of Hie four who escaped two have been recap tured. One of tiie convicts who was shot was a white man named Coles, who, it is supposed, instigated the whole affair. He was serving a life sentence for murder. One of the negroes killed had been pardoned, but the pardon hail not been receiv ed at tiie convict camp until after the ('scape and death ofthe pardon ed man. Hour 11 la Done. Franklin News Letter. Tiie prohibition law is in force in Franklin, Heard county, but a bar room is doing a thriving business there, allee samec. Thusly: A man has a room connected with his dwelling house, hut with no door opening from the outside. In this room he lias a good stock of pizen. He lias a drawer in tiie wall* which opens to either tho inside or outside of tiie room. When a toper wants a tod, all ho lias to do is to pull out tills drawer, drop in his dime, and sing out what lie wants. The draw er is pulled in, the money taken out, and in its place appears a glass of grog. If any question is asked from the outside, no reply is receiv ed. It is impossible to see into the room, and as the silent barkeeper on the inside never speaks to any one on tho outside, he escapes de tection. He is said to he making money rapidly. A Ilia l.aml Scheme. St. Louis, May 12.—Advices from tin' Indian Territory says that two hills have been introduced in tiie Creek Indian Council providing for the lease of the land known as the “Cherokee strip,” tho lease to be given to the highest bidder for five years, and at not less than $100,000 per year, the rental payable semi annually. Several parties and com panies are now ready to give even more than that sum, and there is liable to be a good deal of competi tion among them to get control of tin* lands. Persons posted regard ing affairs In the Territory say that there is a monstrous Job in this land business, and that greedy specula tors stand ready to lease the strip, which contains about one million acres, at almost any price if they can get the privilege of renewal. With this privilege they think they can secure practically a i»erpetual lease, or perhaps in a few years an actual deed to It. The strip is said to he worth now fully ten million dollars, and in a few years it will in' wortli two or three times that amount, HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS. COCKTINCl. There's lots ot fim In courllnif, If you know the wny to do It: It's the choicest kind of sporting Once you get nceustoiiud to It, Do you courting moderately, An a business, not a favor; Make haste slowly, It adds greatly To the fun a piquant llavor. Court your sweetheart In the kitchen, In tho parlor, in the park; And you'll find the most bowltchln’ Times for courting after dark, Court for love; most women like It, Nay, I am certain they nil do; And the fellow who can strike It Once will hanker for it, too. Court a woman for herself, sir, For the virtue that is in her; Don't go courting her for pelf, sir; You will rue It If you win her, Court a woman boldly, bravely; Never court her for a fool; When you do, she’ll teach you naively How a woman scorned can rule. Court a woman for a wife, sir, Fora woman good and true; And my word you’ll find this life, sir, I’aradlse enough for you. And such courting beats strawberries, Peaches frozen In Icecream; Champagne frupps, brnndled cherries, ’Tis a sunny, golden dream. Men of mind—hen-pecked hus bands. In a boy stinginess is condemned, but in a man it is called business. Tiie German proverb, “if I rest I rust,” is Americanized to read “If I trust I bust.” An old editor complains that type setters as a rule are a drinking class. It is not to be wondered at as they set em up so often. First small girl: “I know what I tun going to he when I grow up!” Second ditto: “What are you going to be when you grow up?” First small girl: “A widder!” An exchange thinks capital pun ishment ought to lie abolished, be cause “so many murderers are swung straight into glory that heaven won’t be a decent place for any respectable white man to stop over night.” Constitution: The editor of tiie Chinese American promises to make it lively for the Irish. No doubt, but if the Irish get after the editor ofthe Chinese American and chase him around the streets in New York city, he will conclude lie has made them too lively. Not long since I took the train on the Bennington and Rutland rail way, leave Rutland at 1 o’clock. Hi front of me sat a lady and boy.— The conductor came along, punch ed her ticket, and asked: “How old is the hoy?” “Ten years old to-day,” said she. “We collect half fare from all children ten years old or more,” said ho. The lady hesitated, colored some-* what and said: “He will not be ten until about 11 o’clock to-night.” The conductor colored also and passed, while the passengers smiled. —Boston Herald. Macon Graphic: A countryman enters the otfice of a young Macon physician: “How much do you charge for cutting off a man’s left leg at the knee ?” “Fifty dollars.” “I’ll give you twenty-five.” “All rigid; take a seat.” The man sits down and the doc tor, coming up from behind, slaps a sponge full of chloroform over his mouth. When he falls hack insen sible out come a knife and saw, and in twenty minutes the leg is off. The man recovers and looks about in dazed wonder. “Heavens and earth!” he cries, “what have you done ?” “It’s all rigid, my man. The leg is off, and in six weeks you will be well again.” “Ott‘! Otf! It was my brother’s leg that I wanted amputated!” “Is that so? Well, under the cir cumstances 1 will throw ten dollars off my hill.” Telegraph: Tiie following is re lated as a fact: In one of tiie “dry” towns on tho Macon and Brunswick railroad a merchant hit uimiu an ingenious plan of furnishing the people with whisky. He bought a lot of coeoiuiuts, and, after empty ing tiie milk, filled them up with tiie coveted liquor, forming some- tiling of a cocoauut toddy. The other day tiie minister of the town went in the store and wanted to buy a cocoauut. The merchant was in despair, but managed to tell tiie gent ofthe cloth that the nuts were unsound. Tiie minister seemed unxlous to procure one, and told tiie merchant that if they had milk in them they were all rigid; and shak ing one was convinced of their soundnoiifa. The merchant could do nothing more, and sold him one, hoping tlmt lie would get out ofthe scrape in some way. In about half an hour after the minister left, the merchant received a note from him saying: “Send me six more cocoa- nuts exactly like tho one I purchas ed of you,”