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a.^xrMlczjL.-r. (The (Tme (Citizen. Sullivan Brothers, Publishers. j Subscription Kates < jl)m* (’opv mil' yonr - - S“2 IH) [ " “ six months - I ()() ( “ ' tints 1 months - oil CITIZEN. OS I T I Y hi LV CASH. Volume 2. Waynesboro, Georgia, Friday, Mae 25tli, 1883. Xmilber 3, (The (Tme (Citizen, Advertising Kates i Truiisicnl ailvs. p:i y.iMd in mlvimct*. < on I rm*i a• I \ •. payaMo i|uarh rl,v. < 'dimmunlratinns I nr pms.ninl lionoiil will l>c* fliariri'il lor as jhIys., pay: t * * I •» in mlvniH f (‘; Ailvs. iMMMipyiim special pn.sllhm cluffta'il Si per rent. aihlil im al. Notices annum ivihIIiik malti'r 10 cents per lin.;, each ins'*r!inn. Not Ices in I -oral A I Ills I ness coin li.m, next hi read In if, a rents per line each iliSetttun. All notices will In- placed anmnn readin;f mat ter if not specially «n*dereil «»l her wise. F«»r terms apply til 'tlilsotticc. The I >ul>1 in, (in., darkle: form a hand. art 1 about -Vi ltliai lor Tim Citizen. I (ion. Iliai In < illl'dllll ha- faile tlt'iiifs tin 1 report Winter seems to have taken an injunction on both spring and sinn er. >r. I Miss says lie lost.+1 .*»,« u n l ”• (iarlieltl. (Jarlleld lost |y it. attend- liis life Most of the treasury twirls at Washington are saitl to have their lilaries mortgaged three montlis tliead. Fit “Id Marshal Murat 1 lolsteatl, ot |iiifinnati, threatens to rewave the jloody shirt. Wave away, Mr. polstcud, it eau do no harm now, The Savannah '/'inns publishes i article under the caption, “Are on < {rowing Older?” Yea, verily,, Irother Richardson—many of them la tresspass and in sin.” The Presidents of Mercer Uni- lersity ami the Wesleyan Female liege, situated ill Macon, have ■signed their positions, to take Itlect at the same time. A Western debating society has fist argued the question: “isn’t it lore honorable to be a burglar than Rill Chandler Republican V”— )ecision in the atlirnintive. Says a fashion exchange: “lMack lockings are now much worn.” In ur opinion, if these stockings art* bo “much worn” for decency ml comfort, the lady wearing them Jiould purchase new ones. Macon Telegraph! When the tiemhers of tile Legislature aregol- ing ready to pass a dog law, etc.— Vital an absurdity! The idea of a Seorgia Legislature “getting ready n pass a dog law” is supremely rich. When Mrs. Astor, wife of (lit 1 \merican Minister, was presented jo the queen of Italy, it is saitl that ter majesty was so surprised with ier beauty that she remained speechless with admiration for sev eral minutes. The Atlanta Constitution thinks lhat frost now would injure the potton crop. No doubt of it, brother I lowel, no doubt of it. You are an griculturalist of tin 1 lirst water, and Blanche Jarleton. A STORY, IN FOUR PARTS. CART f. seniNti. Slit- with wlml simplicity Tills nympli begins her golden days! In the jfi'con yrass she lovps to Ilu, And there with her fair aspect tames The wilder flowers, and wives them names lint only with the roses plays, And them does tell What color hi st heroines them and v smell. —A mime Man “dense do not, for the charm would be forever broken. 1 have often imagin'd if I could possess the remainder, it would loose all its sweetness.” “Let me, then, reward you for the effort which 1 enjoyed so much,” | and she offers him the bouquet re- . cently gathered, “How beautiful!” he exclaims as he accepts it. “Surely nothing could be more lovely and truly ar tistic.” We pause for an incident. The liour-han I upon the dial-plate of Neville’s watch points to the mid night vigil; the lights within the mansion have been long extinguish ed, and an unusual solitude, born of the still, sweet evening, rests like a benediction upon the Manor. He seeks the open air of the gar den to enjoy the scene, and indulge in a newly-lighted I la vaiina. With rapid strides the silver luminary mounts the starry dome, until f believe you are really fond of touching tin* dizzy zenith, she reigns The day is and Blanche them “Nothing, I assure, you delights me more. Flowers are pure and bright and beautiful, j innocent, symbolic of hope and love, as usual, is enjoying i Tlw\v likewise typify, ill their varied one of those delightful woodland rambles for which her free, joyous nature so constantly yearns. I’pon the rich, embroidered carpet of the woods lingers the dew,now burnish ed and resplendent under tliedia- ninnd rays (d'a gorgeous summer sun The birds are caroling their sweet est notes, and nature never appear ed in more exquisite harmony. Somehow as our heroine wanders on, culling the Moral offerings that decorate her pathway, she half wishes that Neville would join her. arrangement, the manifold harmo nies and discords that frequently occur in our social combinations.— At least, so it appears to my mind.” “Assuredly, there can be congen- ialitiy and its opposite, as well among flowers as in society. Yet, how few there are who recognize the importance and magnitude of the place they till!” “Few, indeed! Men, as a general rule, are ever blind to the beauties and sentiments of nature. The glitter of ‘the almightv dollar’ sur- They have been together now (she | passes heaven’s matchless blue, and muses) since but yesterday, and-as j pales to insignificance the dying yet lie has revealed nothing of that i splendor of the sunset.” frigid dignity she had anticipated;; “1 am really glad to hear you ex on tin 1 contrary, lie has been all that j press yourself so fond of nature! lu was gentle, kind and lovable. Will these days of materialism and de- lie continue so? She half hopes he j generacy, it is indeed creditable to will, it would be so cruel for him to j possess such sentiments,” and the prove otherwise. Why does he lin-j glance of approbation which ac- ger so long at the Manor? The j companies this speech, renders “pale and apparent queen.” The little flowers, tired from bearing the hot solar rays the entire day, have closed for the night their bannered bosoms, and are heaving fragrant sighs as they sleep. I'lidcr tin 1 weird, mystic fascina tion of the scene, Neville seeks his guitar, and tunes it softly to the notes of some ancient melody, lie is about to strike the opening chords, when a sound rising sweetly from out some dim distance, arrests and holds his attention. Softly it rises and falls upon the dreamy air, like tlu 1 dim echoings of a bugle among the Alpine crags. Seemingly it approaches nearer, growing tin* while louder, rounder Of course, it is not sit a 11 unalural that in such days and seasons—and withal such parties—there arise variations, that necessarily throw the dramatis person nte of a story in different relations and harmonies. HUMOUS OF THE 1UY. Tiie soft corn is hard enough to bear. Domestic dispatch—Johnny with the hot buckwheat. The greatest mashers usually turn out the smallest potatoes. “You will love only mo, George, dar ling V” “Sometimes,’’ ho says. When a New York yourtg man pops Let’s consoli- Mass., Montint/ Times, remarks that in all courts, puisne and others, the same semi-endless palaver on the part of counsel, both in examina tions of witnesses and in pleadings, is tolerated, and justices seem to i This has the effect of relieving the j bear it, not that they favor it, per- general tone, which however bril- haps, but because it is customary, limit, must anon of necessity grow and they have got used to it in their wearisome and monotonous. These own previous court practice, and I diversities and changes may be the lack the fortitud to correct it when ^ a < ‘ : I', le8t ‘ uu ‘ 10 : elfects, or results, of many causes, they have to endure it as a supreme Society demands variety, and all nuisance. Just now a court, presi din' social organism wearies, at ded over by a skilled justice, is sit- length, of one continuous article. \ ting at Washington on the trial of To those who have indulged to any one case—has boon sitting for near- extent in the pleasures and allure- ly three months pact on it—and is incuts of the world, this social prob- j promised another protracted trial lem is neither strange nor paradox- of his patience—and all because his leal. . j better Judgment has to give n ay to So, naturally, as Hamilton conies the captiousness and non-eoncen- to see and know more of Rlanche, tration of ideas of half a dozen prag- lie likewise conies to like her better matical lawyers, whose baitings i and bullyings of the bench would, in an English court, subject them, hour after hour, to the punishment provided for contempt. And fori this specific process of mystifying; and better. She, while losing none of her former admiration for Ne ville, felt attracted somewhat by I the handsome face and form of his ! guest and friend. And thus, with tin* last days of spring, there rises up between them a mutual and pleasant friendship. To one so deeply and uncon sciously in love as Neville, even a jury and rendering justice unin-! pliers, rouiurks: The Now York News declares that “it was a farsuoing clmp who invented the telescope.” The “Ironclad Oath” is when ft fellow reclines on the zenith end of u tuck with his bare foot. In Now England they are making rum from old shoes. One drink of it starts the flow of sole. If we were a girl, wo would select a lover from among tailors for they till know how to press u suit. Tun lazy boy fears that if he once be gins to earn his own living he will bo al ways expected to do it. The original poem road by Bjorn- sterno Bjournson, just before ho begins his lecture is “ Tujggwnsson.” That’s Olof it. Guibollaud, most candid of Philoso- terpretnble, the country has to he taxed in the end some three hun dred thousand dollars. There is revolution of the evil of senseless tiiis pecu- ‘Would that I had ten ‘To do what?” “To , , ..... , ,. .friendship can not exist without prolixity mixed up with and sweeter, until it greets tin 1 ears , , . ... . , .. . . , * ..,. , ’ , , . .... ! love, and respect without adoration, marv consideration. ot the astonished listener in all the 1T ,, . , ,, „ .... . . Me therefore comes, in time, to look richness and fullness ot its complete I .. , ....... 1 i upon the deepening friendship with eyes of jealousy and suspicion. Hamilton, of course, is totally igno rant of the jealously of his friend, and continues on, causing many a pang to the jealous-hearted, poetic woods are beautiful and attractive, j and surely his artist-soul could crave ! no scene more calculated to thrill and inspire. Botheration! men are j such stupid creatures anyway—they ; never know an opportunity when ; they see one, an as for— “ ‘My luvc Is like the red, red rose _ j Tlml's newly spnmgln June; My luve is like the melodic Tlinl's sweetly played in tune.' ” Blanche' breaks abruptly off in her musings, and listens intently to tin 1 soft and simple song, borne so distinctly on the treacherous morning air. She recognizes the al ready familiar voice of'Neville in tin 1 words of the tender Scotch mel ody, and recalling the direction her thoughts had previously taken, she blushes consciously and guiltily. Rut shi 1 is determined he shall Miould buy a farm at once, and run ! uot witness her contusion, so she |t on advanced ideas. quietly conceals herself behind a convenient growth of shrubbery, and waits his advent in silence. a hero his own Neville quite opinion. “Picture such a wor^l as those I materialists would have us inhabit! A sky without a singe arch, a hill without a curve or crest, a wave without a ripple, and a desert with out a single flower to cheer its des olation. Could anything be more; disagreeable and uninviting?” “I confess candidly that the pie- j tore is indeed a dismal one; but por- voicing. Now soft as the evenings hush; now higher than the shrill notes of the nightingule; now soft, soothing, tender; now sparkling, gay, trippant; now it flows smooth ly on, like the sparklin now it makes a tremendous leap, and dies softly and sweetly away, in the silvery sheen of the moon light. So dead it is among the rocks and cataracts, that Neville muses unconsciously over the cadences that echo only in memory. It is a simple English ballad—a ballad too of the peasantry—that Rlanche sings with so much pathos, and that falls with such tenderness upon thi 1 unobserved listener; but yet it marks a visible 1 effect upon tin 1 poetic soul of Neville. Never, A (ill(1ST IX TIIK WHITE 1101 SK. “Yes, this building is haunted,” said an attache of the Presidential mansion to the Critic this morning, n “imd it Is eald that supernatural 1 ix uh t, Blanche, perhaps, has some eights are not unfrequently witness- slight intimation of the effects her 0< 1 i' 1 these, large old-fashiond and seemingly artless conduct is having a i*'y halls. Several weeks ago the upon Neville; but, bah! what can President changed the location of there be wrong in an innocent rtir- his bedchamber, by removing from tation with the handsome Guy ? A* 10 1‘Mst to the North room, and it In the moments of doubt and "’as vaguely whispered then that pain, that frequently flit across Ne- l*'* slumbers had been disturbed by ville’s heart, he seeks the company j a nocturnal and weird visitor, the of Florence, who by her sweet tem- same that one of ouv chamber maids per and disposition manages always said that she had semi walking to soothe and comfort him Ashley, be it said to during all these genial days, finds | slonos “Yes, the ghostly visitor man,” continued the attache, thou sand a y, ar." do nothing.” A man’s residence, in law, is where ho has Lis washing done. We pity Detroit mou. Poor devils, to have no homes.— Boston Post. Shout courting: “Rachel, the Lord hath sent mo to marry thee,” sail the suitor. “The Lord’s will ho done," was the submissive reply. Policeman—“Now, thou, move on! There’s nothing tho matter hero." Sarcastic Boy—“Of course there isn’t. If there was you wouldn’t ho here.” A London wife cannot blow up her husband without tho people in the next house rushing out to inform the authori ties that they have discovered a Fenian plot. The Baltimore Custom-houso officials claim that they can tell a smuggler in six different ways. After he has been told in one way, what good do the other live do? f His text was, “What doest thou here, Elijah?” He divided it into .two heads. "First, my brethren,” said lie, “let us consider what Elijah did hear; und, secondly, what lie didn't hear.” Notwithstanding the fact (and I stately and erect through the up- , ^ ° f wIT ustani>!ng tno lact (aiul per- , . . 1 naps in consequence of it) that the clergy his credit, fdiiirs hallways on several occa- niul justices of the peace are so busy ail ‘Lu ba ps although they are blind to tin symmetry of the universe, they j tlu * l loetlt1 soul ot -Neville. .Never, in the company of Miss l'aimer, a would not alter a single proportion. l K>, haps, since the stars sang to- sweet girl over the way from the May be, they are igoorant of their i grtlier at creations dawn, and all | Manor, all tlie* exquisite pleasure ; cause I remember well of hearing blindness.” /he a,, 8Tlic choristers of Heaven his heart and soul craves. the cambermaid say that lie had “Perhaps so; certainly a very l,ll 'ted to swell tin 1 celestial chorus, J And so, unconsciously, the day ! long, flowing, white hair and heard, charitable construction to place " a ' s their sw cotcr music to the ears for the excursion arrives. From the i of our hero. The Mayor and Council of Haw- kinsville made a contract last week ,'ith J. J. Jackson to bore another irtesian well in 1 lawkinsvillc. Tho Contractor agrees to give a flow of thirty-gallom* per minute, two foot [hove the ground, and is to receive j?,(MM) for the work. The will of an old maid in Nor way distributes her property among or six rejected lovers, all poor, and rives this reason: “These lovers Cither courted me for my money, liii'h they may now have, or else Ihoy loved me, and for that reason |hey shall have the money, because believed them.” The President is making prepara tions to take up his residence at he Soldiers’ I Ionic for the summer, ml will move there soon after he (•turns from New York. Wo sup pose that tin* ghost of political lion- sty, which is reported to lie prowl-, ng around the White Mouse o' iglits now, lias driven the gallnnf resident away from home. Savannah '/'inns: Some two ceks since the tine animal of Dr. ohn D. Martin stuck a nail in his foot. It caused him to limp a little, ■ind Dr. Martin had his foot exam ined by a vetrinary surgeon, who rave it his attention, and prunouc- kl the injury not serious, and said jliat tin 1 horse could be driven. A |lny nr two since lie Was laid up, Hid yesterday lock-jaw developed ■ Inch resulted in his death. Geryjgia peaches are now being fliipped North. The Yankees mix little sugar, cream, a little snow ind a few Georgia peaches all to gether, and have a dish tit for a ring. No wonder they did not rant to let the South go, as tho.v Ivnuld then have been compelled to pay tariff on all these Southern lux- s, and next to olliee, the Yan kees love Georgia fruits and vege tables better than anything else. 'Pile notorious Mrs. Harriet Beo- idierStow, who now resides in Flor ida, and whose mad ravings in I'n- •le Tom’s Cabin precipitated the bloodiest war thut marks tin 1 pages pfhistory between the North and ‘touth, was In Savannah a short time since, and was all praises of llho South. Lot In 1 !' look at tin* do- Ivastatiou and death her Influence ■ greatly contributed to bring upon It lie South, and keep her praises to llierself. The people of the South klo not want them. lie approaches steadily, still huni- mingthe simple Highland air, until I lie reaches the exact spot where Blanche so recently stood, when , something upon the ground strikes his attention, und lie kneels cau tiously down, the plaintive song dying softly upon his lips. “By Jove! I should say the own er of that print has a stunning foot! Through curiosity, I believe I’ll measure it!” Procuring a small twig, lie trims it smooth, and proceeds to carry Ids determination Into execution,— Bending over the dainty foot-print, lie carefully notches Its length, and remains for a moment gazing med itatively at the result. The forgotten air meanwhile re turns, and with it the words— “ ‘My kuvt’ is like tlic red, red pokc 'rilld’s licwly S|)rHllR ill .1 UIU>; My luve Is like the melodic Tlmt's sweetly pliiyMin time/ M “Do continue, Mr. Neville!” Neville rises with a startled ex pression, to behold Blanche merg ing from her hiding place, her fea ture a study In tliclr strained seri- upon it.” “Being so fond of nature, perhaps you can give me a description of the Mills?” “I have not visited them since' early boyhood, yet I remember them well.” “Do proceed! I am literally dying for a picture of them. 1 just know they are romantic 1 beyond descrip tion.” Thus ordered, Neville begins: “At the base of four large hills lies a miniature lake, with a surface as smooth and placid as spring itself. The side remaining, is enclosed partly by a forest, whose tall trees their sweeter music to the ears j appearances of this sweet, lazy “Surely, she who can sing so feel- afternoon, the morrow will he all ingly, must possess a heart full of that could he desired in the way of tenderness, sympathy and love—a sunshine and beauty. Already heart studded aiul gemmed with around the fading splendors of the priceless jewels!” with which oh-, day, hove the languid clouds floated servation, Neville seeks his room, I up to w itness the burial, in occi- his mind tilled with sweet thoughts I dental glory, of PhcebuH-Apollo, and of Blanche. But with the tones of the gentle wind that has arisen, her voice still ringing in his ears, gives brilliant promise of a morn sleep conies tardily to the restless i gorgeous and resplendent. aiul justices of tho peace uvo so busy ail the time making two people one, tlio population continues to increase. They catch rats with baited lislihooks in New York.. We suppose it is an nrt- ist-hook-rat-ic amusement. (Last lot of this kind, aud going off like smoke nt a dollar a dozen. Orders by mail promptly attended to.)—Burlington Jlawkeyc. At a restaurant—Gentleman to waiter passing—“ Will you kindly toll mo tho we see printed on the pages of his-j hour?” “Excuse mo, lam not waiting tory. At any rate, sir, I know that! a l ,oa you ; please ask the waiter of your the President’s rest is often dis- i section,” he replies, aiul seeing the same, turbeil at night, because I have | %v i iut time it is.” heard him time and again movin land very milch resembled states men of long ago, whose pictures tosser. Five long, uneventful days, days full of sunshine and love, have winged their flight over Neville . Manor, leaving no trace hq|tin<jL-of rise ... gum -like majesty and beau- tl|c . ir ,, right , happy existence. The - Beyond, on the opposite side, | |>roplll . ti e reader, who has noticed, ty. Beyond, on the the country stretches gradually away, loosing itself in gentle undu lations in the obscure and distant horizon. From the summit of these Mills, can he witnessed many of those sunsets that have rendered Italy so famous, Do you like the I picture?” i “Amazingly! I am confident, I now, our excursion will Ik : glorious and complete in /•ess! The beauty of the spot adds ! so much to the enjoyment of the plc-nlc.” “Almost as much as the company you are in,” | “Wisely and most appropriately oppose you are familiar romantic spot on tlu 1 even at this early stage of the story, n remarkable sympathy and eon-j genialty in the tele a te/es of our i hero and heroine, need not he as sured that they have already found w ithin each other’s company a mu tual pleasure and enjoyment.—! Blanche beholds in Neville a soul j poetic and manly, possessing a won- .. . . ‘ . smi l’ ,v derful amount of pleasant harmony ! Um Ut « \ its sue- , j.-i.jl.. ,.(.„ A. IO lu ‘ ( ’°' Now, even as falls from our pen the closing paragraph of Part First, the summer heat has tilled the air, and tinged the Woods with a deeper green. Spring has imprinted the farewell kiss, and.left us bright and cheerful, even if momentarily sad dened at its departure. Thus with our hopes, our loves and our lives. Beneath the touch and influence of tin 1 mild, grateful season, they rush houyant and expectant to greet the torrid vapors that rise up with the fervid summer; lint kissed too hard Ly (lie impartial heats, they at last fall hack depressed and cneravated, completely wilted under the full, ousuess and comical Iniiu s ve- . „ 1 , added, 1 s ness. “Really a thousand pardons! 1 did not know—” “Of course you didn’t—no expla nations necessary, I assure you.” “But, Miss t'areltuii, allow me to ex—” “But 1 interrupted your song; a beautiful melody, and 1 insist upon the remainder,” I . . , the scenery is now no longer doubt- “Indeed,! cannot sing. Besides [ f u j» it was merely a fugitive strain that In return for this little speech, 1 snatched up in the dim long ago.” j Neville bestows upon her a glance “Tell me, then, wliat suggested that can ho interpreted, hut not the song?” j translated—a look full of teiulerest “With tlie greatest pleasure.— meaning. Many yimrs»igo,as 1 was journeying They journey on toward the man- through a shiafl village, my atten- slim, which they reach after a w alk tion was attracted to a hand of 1 till- decidedly pleasant and entertain- iuns, and among them a small Imt prepossessing child. She accom panied the harp with a tew songs selected randomly, hut which she sung with great effect. Among them was the little all 1 l hummed just aw hile ago. There was noth- tii r. si:iti:x.viu:u smtux vi>ki>. ing especially attractive in the way j Tediously the soft, spring after- she rendered it, hut ere she had ! noon draws its life to a close, drag- completed the first strain, a commo- ging in its wake an evening sensa tion occurred a few feet distant, ous and dreamy. One by one, silent- and tlie song was interrupted never ly, softly, the meadows above begin to be completed. And do you know to blossom with tiny stars—the for- tliat broken, hall-complete melody I get-me-nots of the angels—until the has ever since exerted a charm for! moon, rising in cloudless majesty me, that eau only linger with the j upon a Heckles* realm, floods hill Incomplete.” | and vale wjth an ocean of silver “Hindi 1 finish it fof you ?” spray. and consonance; while 1 she reveal.- to Lini a beauty and variety, charm ing and irresistable. Basking in the smiles and glances of each other’s presence, the golden hours—each studded with sixty dia mond minutes—fly only too swiftly by, Thus, the time preceding the arrival of the expected company, is spent by Rlunclic and Neville in one continuous love-dream, endur ing like the gentle influence of a ont'i n rr.n. conns AXI) Til Kill COMMIT. with every grounds?” “1 flatter myself to that extent, and with your kind permission, would he pleased, licyond measure, to act as your guide on the oc- ' m,uu,ur ut - vl ' N ‘‘ vi,1 ° ouliV wi * ,u ‘ s I eiision” | that tlie enchanting spell would I “Which, of course, 1 accept with ‘-•ontinue forever, for he feels that many thanks. Mv enjoyment of llu ‘ bp, K ht war,n ,la - vs ’ must with summer, and make place at last for those autumnal days, when falls the frost, and the leaves, like hopes, lie sere and brown within “the hollows of the grove.” At last Ashley and Florence Cam eron arrive, bringing additional sunshine and mirth to tlie Manor. ing to both. A game of croquet is indulged in until luncheon, at the end of which Neville IImis himself more deeply in love, if possible, than ever before. enthusiastic party. Atlanta l*ost-Appeal. We recently took occasion to notice Hie sharp discipline of Eng lish Court Judges in the conduct of cases lie fori them, and the rigid state of drill in which they kept council in order to avoid lhat super fluity of proceeding which in our American courts makes the gravest kind of trials largely farcial. And we think we somewhat plainly hint- led that our judicial skill—as semi in practice—scarcely came up to the required mark of merit, and sug gested that the cheapness of the ar ticle engrafted heavy taxes on com munities and on the patience of litigation as well. In matters in volving the rights and the equities of tlie people in decision, tlie high est judicial skill is demanded; imt about after midnight, and some times I have listened to his steady and continued pacing across the floor when every one else in the house was slumbering and wonder ed what was disturbing him-” “Mis great responsibility or dys pepsia might have been the agent,” suggested the Critic. “Oh, no,” quickly rejoined the at tache, “neither of them, I am sure. It was tjii. 1 White House ghost, and I wjll bet on it. This ghost is the same one that made Gen. Grant’s nights here so scarce, and suggested his frequent trips through the coun try, as 1 have heard the attendants who were here with him frequently say, and I will tell you candidly that I think that the ghost’s t'e- quent appearance of late has put the notion into President Arthur’s head of going on Lis proposed trip.” Concluding, the Presidential indi vidual left to answer a call from up-stairs. Tin* Critic subsequently got the following description from one who claims to have seen the white spirit of the White House: lie is an aged and bent man, with long, phospho- A gentleman ivns complaining on 'Change that lie had invested a rather large sum of money in Wall stroet and lost it all. A sympathizing friend asked him whether ho had been a “bull” or “bear,” to which lie replied: “Neither; I wus a jackass. ”—Chicago Tribune. “Unhappily married? I should think I was!” cried the burlesquo actress. “ Why, lie doesn’t boat me, doesn't oomo home drunk, doesn't squander my earn ings ! I haven't the slightest excuse for getting a divorce, anil I’m afraid I shall never make a name in the world.” “Say, hoy! say,” exclaimed a hot- looking man with a valise, “ wlmt is tho quickest way to get to tlie pars!” “ Run,” yelled the boy ; and tho hot-looking mail was so pleased with tlie information that if lie could have got near enough to tho boy lie would luivu given him something. A younosteh stops up to a gentleman in tlio park : “Sir, won’t you please go after my boat, which is going to fall into tlio stream?’ 1 “But ilo you wish me to throw myself into tho water, child?” “Oh, yes, mamma said, ‘ask that gentleman; ho looks fool enough to do it.’ ’’ ' Theiik are a good many things in this world to make a man mau. Thu young man who kindly stopped to assist a blind man afterwards found that the girl who was looking at him from the window oi the house was tho housemaid, and not the daughter and heiress of tho proprie tor. lt , , , that cannothe procured at the mis- Guy Hnniihpn, too, puts in appear- J orttl , h . ralt> of ri ., mi „ m ,ti„n gene unce and gives a brighter tinge, if raIlv ottV * r od for It by the States- possihle, to tho already gay >!'>•< L ir mv „ included. ' No lawyer, with j capacity to properly till a sent on The Circle is fonnetl at last, ijnd the bench—unless the temporary proves indeed a merry and happy honor of being u judge, and being combination. Numerous ami vari- so called during lite, may constitute ed pleasures are indulged in to pass Jan enticement—would lie eontent- the time pleasantly away, and we ed with the suiavy of such position, venture a livelier and gayer party while, in his law practice, he could, could uot lie found within tlie con fines of merry England. The lin gering days of spring smile their brightest, and lend a brilliancy and eclat to the movements of tlie fes tive association. With each suc cessive day are formed pleasures and enticements, whose colorings perhaps,quadruple it annually. We offer no reflection oil the ability of our court judges; we rather refer to their fear, or their disinclination to use it as they ought—particularly in discountenancing tlie pronencss of tlie legal fraternity to useless procrastination in the conduct of exceed in point of effect and glory cases they have to plead. Continu- Hhw of the day hej'ejv. ing Its sage reflection, the Lowell lVop'e are apt to get the idea into , ., . , , , . their heads that editors take a spe- rescont, white heard and hair, , , , , , ’; cuil delight in ridiculing uml a bus- ghastly and wavy, bright and glnr- . , . , , , , , , mg people who do not advertise,— mg eyes, and long, scrawny lingers. 1 Mis walk is noiseless, hut stately, and his presence is always indica ted by a peculiar electric sensation which pervades the surrounding air. The electricity is what breaks tlie President up, and makes him perambulate. A two-foot rule—Keep your feet dry. When tlie bloom is on the ryi careful or you may get it on nose. he I This is all a mistake. No editor I with traces of gray matter in Ids I head ever abuses his own advertis- l ers; and only poor and insignifli'iinl | editors abuse those who prefer some , other medium than tlieirown. The ; real complaint is that the non nd- ] vertising business mail is a ilruw- , buck and a hindrance to tlie com- ; munity in which lie lives. He is a cruncher from Groakefsville against nil progressive movements and a vour 1 stln «y son-of-n-gun on general prin- ‘ eipuls, who would rather get left Ly the procession than buy it liomi 1 - Oliio lias a deaf and dumb lawyer. |lia, le brass watch at half price and IBs pleas to the jury are said to betSA’t there early enough to lie up- very effective. | pointed a color guard. The know- I ing citizen can always pick out tlie A Georgia young lady is raising mm-udvertlser by the green in Ids four acres of onions. She claims to eyes and the slickness of the seat of he a regular sceiit-ennial planter.— ids pants. Me is one of those pessl- (ieari/ia Major. mists who is always looking at the future through (lie butt end of a I lie Empress ot Austria has been telescope amt saying: “Well, if writing poetry, and lias laid a print- them’s good times away off yonder, ing office set up in the palace, and I don’t think titer’ll be enough ter is learning to sot type and manage j go ’round when they git here!” He a press, so tint she can print her I is a fraud and a lizzie and a “bust.” own poems. j t1u»n> are enough of hnii in Atlanta ai.oi. ..it * ... , , , | to All a new cemetery, if we could Methodists were formerly forbid- den to sing ami pray in public in “"l.v start the rigid sort ot an Bavaria, hut nmv they are allowed ‘‘pl'IeiMlc In Ills ranks.— deargiu to hold religious services at will. Major,