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(The (True (Citizen. Sullivan Brothers, Publishers. | Subscription Rates : One Copy one year - - 82 00 u « six months - 1 00 « “ three months - 501 pOSl T I V E L V C A S H.j \s we predicted some time ago,! tl„. local option, or prohibitory liq-j Ulir law was killed in the Senate.— | It will lu-* n difficult matter to over procure the passage of such a law in Georgia. The Texas cow boys failed to cap- (lir( . president Arthur, llis Acci- Volume 2. Waynesboro, Georgia, Friday, September 7th, 1883. Number 17. joiin adam tkkitlkx. before the independence of the First (loTcriior or (ii‘ort?ia—uis Mystorious ills- hitute was achieved, and haying no, tory. son or other descendant in the State j Suvnnnnh Kwvs. j in public life, lie was forgotten. If IMttor Murninr/ Mews:—Tn one of not forgotten, certainly neglected, the issues of your paper during or about the time of the Scsqui-Cen- tennial, there was an item wiiicli having returned to the 11a-1 t ‘°“ tnined tlu> asHerti(m Unit John !i mil capital may now sleep in (pii-!"’ ( ‘ im Treutlen, the First governor l4 provided the ghost of the White ! [’ f ch( ‘ ° r (,eor B irt v *' as !l Sal/ *- , does not disturb bis slum-! bur " hor * 1 hori ' ,s "" ,louht that he J was an official member of the | church of the Salzburghers, at Kbe- The Savannah Times says we j nezor, before the War of the Itevo- nml lictter roads and a few million | lution began, as his nemo appears p,swings, and informs the Legists-1 among the twelve deacons of that lure that the way to earn the grati-! church during the pastorates of Un hide of the people is to pass whole- i henhorst and Trilmer. lie was a some laws upon these subjects and citizen of that part of Eflingham lioiuo. The Legislature may | county, which was then St. Math ew’s parish, and his home was about eight miles above Eheni*zer,iii the immediate neighborhood of the i Sister’s Ferry. Whether he was a The Madison Madisonian says: Lutheran from choice, or because “W alter A. M iley has aecopted the that was the only accessible Ghris- positicu ot assistant railroad agent, | tian church, is uncertain, because it under T.G. Lamar. He is compe- j j s |,y 11() means certain he was a tent, courteous anil reliable, and w e j Stilzberglter. Indeed, the weight .,t the last of the session tinker a little lit the road law—hut pass a dog law—never. -h him success.” of such testimony as I have is that Walter was an apprentice of ours j ] ie waff no t. in the Madison I isitor olliee thirty’ It is equally strange and unfortu- ycai's ago. Hi* amis an intelligent, nate that so little of the history of good hoy and an affectionate son I Governor Treulten is known.— then. Altciw aids he was a gallant \\ hat was his native country, when Confederate soldiei, and amis with , fig cume to Georgia, liow his youth the brave General Harnett when he | an q nianliood were passed iq> to fell. We add our good wishes for his success to those of our contem porary. We have been informed by high authority that the State journals have seen their error in regard to their strictures upon Dr. lhiygood, and arc toning down. The follow ing paragraph., which we clip from the columns of a prominent Geor gia paper, of Wednesday, however, shows that there is at least one oth er iiilhieiitial State journal besides Tiik (Ttizkn which stands unre constructed in regard to the course it has pleased the reverend gentle man to adopt towards the people of the South for the past two years. Our contemporary says: “It is given out that Pledger’s delegates to the Louisville negro convention intend to insist on be ing received into the best hotels in the city, just us white people. Pledg er simply proposes to put Dr. Hay- good’s theory into practical work ing—not being able to see why white hotel proprietors may not en tertain negro guests if white men and women are in the line of duty when teaching negro pupils and as sociating on a footing of equality with them. But Pledger will find that Dr. Haygood doesn’t repre sent the South, and that lie will not even take his own medicine.” Senator Brown has tendered an invitation to the Legislature to vis it the Louisville Exposition at his expense. Everybody who knows the astute Senator, knows that he never moves without nil object in view—near or remote—and it is ev ident that lie has not acted in this instance contrary to his accustomed well defined policy. A contempo rary suggests that as next year brings the election of Senator, he is electioneering* to secure his re- election—to become his own suc cessor. If that is alt, we are con tent—let him have the glittering lmulik*. lhit we fear that his eye rests upon n more valuable object. Tlu> state Hoad, like the beautiful Hcrniuii cities which xvrested from the grasp of England's queen, ami which she declared might he found imprinted upon her heart after her death, is also miniatured upon the * s enator’s heart. Already has a resolution been offered in the Leg islature looking to the sale of this magnificent property. It amis ta- ''led, Neither did the mover of am t resolution, or the power “be hind the curtain” expect that reso- hition to pass at this time, but as the expiration of tho term of the lease approaches, Joe Broxvii grows rest- h*ss, and it amis to familiarize the people as ith the question of tin* sale ”t the road that It amis done. It is Ja>t time for that. Various schemes have already been put in motion to agitate this question. Suits con cerning the validity of the lease, alter so many years,were instituted, *'"* "ere dismissed by the Legisla- inri*, livery move in this matter ‘h'Velopvs the object to he attained. the Revolution, are all unknown.— And stranger yet, although he was among the earliest and most con spicuous revolutionists, and was tin* first governor of the State, his sub- j sequent history has been lost.— j There has been no one to record j the date, place and manner of his death, and his grave, like almost everything connected with his his- j tory, is unknown. In consequence ! of this meager information, tliej inline and fame of Governor Treul ten have been neglected. Geor for Georgia to this day owes him a debt of some appropriate recogni tion. It is never too late to do and the State should on the first opportunity take some action Avliich will perpetuate the name of her first governor. It was no little dis tinction to have been sueli,lor to our governors on the original organiza tion of the State, during the lievo- lutin, all our governors since owe their oilicial position and reputa tion. J tlC'll A III) IF. CLARK, Atlanta, (>«. A Dude ('lifted. N. V. Herald. A disturbance occurred a feAV af ternoons past on the train from the Uockaway Beach to the city, over the New York and ItockaAvay railroad. 'Flic train amis crowded, and all the seats were occupied. In one of the cars stood two fe males, one of Avliom, aa'Iio Avas rath er delicate in appearance, carried a child in her arms. Near them stood an elderly man, tall, erect in carri age, and with Avhite hair and beard. I He amis evidently concerned over i tin* fact that a Avoinan, avIio seemed ! in delicate health, should he com pelled to stand Avitli a heavy chilli in her arms while many men occu pied seats around her. As a jolt of i tin* ear precipitated the ladies vio- lently forward, and almost caused the one Avitli the child to lose her balance, the* old gentleman could | evidently stand it no longer. He advanced to a seat close to the bi llies, in which Avert* comfortably ! ensconced four dudes. “Gentlemen," he said, Avitli every outAvard sIioav of courtesy, hut Avitli a slight inflection of contempt in ! his voice, “permit me to call your , . , . - , , -> in attention to the fact that there lias giA’en Ins name to no county or I . . , , H J arc two ladies standing here Avho toAvn Avithin her limits, or done anything else to perpetuate Hie memory of her first- gOA'crnor. This neglect could have grown out of no personal disqualification, or the rendering of inconsiderable sor- A’ioc. Ho amis a member of the Provincial Gongress from the par ish of St. MathcAvs, which assem bled July 4th, 177o. Among his co- delegates is to he found the very distinguished name of George Wal ton. In that Congress Avere such men as tlie llahhershams, Bryants, Telfairs, Houstons, Clays, Cutliberts and McIntoshs. Afterwards, in 1777, lie was elected from among sueli men to he tin* governor of the State, and from the necessities of tho situation, it amis necessary to confer upon him arbitrary pOAver.— When lie was elected governor, his Executive Council embraced such men as John Hampton, William Few, Arthur Fort and John Jones. During his administration there was a controversy Avitli the neigh boring province of South Carolina, in Avliich he bore himself Avitli dis tinguished valor and wisdom, South Carolina attempted the absorption of Georgia by making both one prov ince. The citizens of Georgia had be come infected by her emisarios, and the occasion called for great firmness, courage and energy. Had tin* movement succeeded, there would have been twelve instead of thirteen colonies, and the present lniA'eboen unable to find seats. One of these ladies is embarrassed with a child.” The young men, Avho Avere ofthe “nobby” dressed, self-suilieient type of city youth stared insolently at tie* speaker. “We’ve paid our fare,” ansAvered mu* of the young men, Avitli a saf fron neck-tie, “and Ave’re entitled to seats.” “If you make that a point,” said tin* old gentleman, “sooner than see these ladies stand, I will refund your fares in return for the two seats.” “We don’t Avant your money,” re torted the young man Avho had spoken before, insolently. “Wo just want to stay Avliere avc are.” The old man Hushed angrily. “I came from the South,” he said, “and if there a man Avere to act as you do under these circumstances, we should look upon him as a cur, and pitch him out of tho AvindoAV.” “Do you call me a cur?” screamed the young fellow springing to his feet. “Do you refuse to relinquish your seat?” “Yes; and do you call me a cur?” “I consider you to he far lower than a cur.” As the old gentleman uttered these Avords the young fellow made •a threatening motion, hut the old man amis too quick for him. He drew hack his right hand and ad- frequent light taps on the ground in front of it. After each stroke the children Avould laugh loudly, as if the result of the hit Avas some thing unusually amusing. Occa sionally the other little one Avould lean fonvard with her face nearly to the ground, and apparently stroke something in front of it Avitli her hand. Mrs. Smith supposed they Avere playing Avitli a small land turtle which had been seen about the yard for some days, and after en joying their childish mirth for some time,she Avalked forward to see what they were doing to the turtle. When site had approached to Avith- in a few feet of them, she amis horri fied to see that tlie little children were amusing tliemselA’Os Avitli a large rattlesnake. Fora moment she amis speechless Empire State of tlw* South might ministered his opponent a stinging have had no existence. But the Map <>» the cheek. Instantly lie term of office avus for only one year, j executed a similar mameuvre Avitli without re-election. It was only the second year of the Revolution Governor Treutlen retired from office, an this is the last history has to say of him. The war lasted five more years. Great events of a po litical nature immediately followed its close, and yet neither during these interesting and exciting his left hand. The smack rang out loud anil clear above the clatter and rumbling of the train. The young man amis staggered, and ids com panions sprang up to assist him.— Other passengers, Iioaa ever, Avliose attention had been attracted by the quarrel sprang to the old gentle man’s side, and prevented any fur- times, nor since, is there anything Micr violence. The ladies, to whom recorded of Governor Treutlen.— { attention had boon attracted by the He was a true patriot and a fearless j 1,1(1 gentleman’s interference in uuvn, anil could not have remained 1 Iheir behalf, had unnoticed by him, idle. He could not have done HO ! been provided Avith seats by fellow had he so chosen, for the country passengers a few seconds before had need of the services of all her | the quarrel culminated in thcAvarm- patriotii* sons. The only reiisoua- [ * a F tho as luppersuuppei s can hie solution is, that ho must have died soon alter he retired from office. In support of this, the tra dition coining down to his descend- }inis, and of Avliich there can he no doubt, Is, that on a visit to Orange burg, S. ()., Avhero he had near rel- permit children to [»lay Avitli them, -^•>‘1 Avhu is the prime mover in j atives, he amis followed by brutal j without molestation, an bile even ‘•'is grand scheme to swindle the tories, and murdered in tho most j the approach of an adult awakens A Tlirllll ntf A<l mu lure. The New \ ork World special, August ill, from Stroudsburg, Da., says: The singular fact that the veuimous snakes will frequently l ,l ‘"l'h‘ of (leorgla out .this property ' horrible manner. 11 c amis tied to a lay a heavier burden oftaxa- tree and hacked to pieces w ith ,io| i on their shoulders? Every-, swords In the presence of his fum- ,lll »g points to Joseph E. Brown, il.v. His body, or what remained •uni says; “Thou art the man.”— characteristic; he has tho trend. G tin cut, the fascination of the ser- D'nt, mid the poAver of gold in his possession. ‘Will he succeed In con- Ml "mating this Inst and greatest ■'*heme? \\’e tremble for of it, amis luiried either by the to ries or by Ids own people, at some place aa'here, either from not know ing at first, or from being forgotten amid the troubles of tin* times avus placed Avhore no one now knoAvs.—| to the door, suav the two children the in- Governor Treuf en having in this j sitting side by side oil the grass.— t*“i*i*st ofthe people of Georgia when sail Avay departed from the scene of j Her child had a short stick in its s i>y that we believe lie will. public action, and it being so long , hand, with AVldeli it was giving all their deadly nature, had an apt illustration in Eld red township.— Two little children, the one hut two and the other three years of age, were playing together. The for mer amis the child of Franklin Smith, tho latter the child of John I leines. Mrs. Smith having occasion to go full length, apparently enjoying the caresses anil attention of the children. At each touch of the stick the snake Avould simply raise its head, open its mouth and dart its tongue in and out soA'eral times. It was this that made the children laugh. IteeoA’cring herself, Mrs. Smith advanced a step or two. The snake discovered her. Instantly its w hole attitude changed. Like a Hash it thrcAV itself into a coil, Avhieli gives it that power of springing by which alone it can inflict its deadly bite. It sounded its rattle loudly. This unexpected moA'cment on the part ofthe snake frightened tho chil dren, andjhey moved away out of its reach. Mrs. Smith then found a club and succeeded in dispatching the snake. This done she fainted away. She was found unconscious on the ground by a neighbor ivlio Avas pass ing, with the children crying at her side, and the dead snake a feAV feet aAvay. She amis soon resuscitated, and told the above story. The snake was over four feet long, and had seven rattles. exhumed from its watery grave,! and a shoe upon the foot revealed the fact that the body or skeleton amis that of Euphrasia Noles. It AMIS considerably decayed, and Avould have been past all recogni tion except by some Icav circum stances. An inquest amis held over the skeleton, and a diet rendered as follows: l l KHKXT <11,KANIN,IS. A Streak of Lurk. Dr. T. AY. Arnold, of Jackson county, a I'cav days ago bought a tract of land, and in less than a Aveek sold it for double what it cost him. ver- I Seems to lie l’retty Straight. Chattanooga Times. “We, the Jury, find that Euphra- A correspondent having asked sift Noles canto to her death by ! the ^ ow York St, » u l‘ on "’hose au- ilroAvning, hut are unable to say whether by suicide or not.” A little girl eleven years of age, a niece of Marion Noles, and avIio was living with him at the time of the disappearance of Frasia Noles, amis moved shortly after to a Mr. Button’s. This little girl amis sub ject to fits, and after each fit she had, sliCAVOuld he delirious for two or three days, and Avould say such and motionless. The snake lay at things as this: “Oh, don’t let Ma- Tlie Carroll Mystery. rion kill nit; he said lie would if I told on him. lie killed aunt Frasia, don’t let him kill me.” After one of these spells, anil after she had entirely recovered from it, Mr. Sut ton prevailed upon her to tell all, and she said that Marion killed Frasia, Avrapped her up in a quilt, kept her in his smokehouse three days, that she saw her in there, that! Marion threatened to Avhip her if sin* told it, and put her in the river; that one night Marion and some others went off, about II o’clock lie came hack and told his Avife that he had put Frasia Avliere she Avould never he heard of. Under these facts, Button sAVore outa Avarrant against Marion Noles. He amis arrested, and the next Wednesday set apart for a hearing. On that day the case was. confin ed, and a warrant issued against E. M. Noles and his two other sons, charging them Avith murder.— James Buckhannan testifying, that at Cold Ridge, Alabama, said Noles told him and Polk Helton that lie and his three hoys had put Frasia out of the way, and they would put away some others in the settlement. Buckhanan and Helton Avere broth- ers-in-hiAV of Noles. Upon the trial the little girl only testified that she only srav a hulk thority that paper had said Mr. Til- den Avould not accept a nomination, is thus replied to: “Our authority is a gentleman named Samuel .1. Tilden.” Laying »' Corner Slone In Dakota. Bismaiuk, ]). T., Sept, o.—The corner stone of Dakota’s eapitol was laid here to-day in the pres ence of the Villaril Northern Pacif ic excursion party and a large con course of people. Speeches Avere made by Governor Orilway, Mr. Villurd, Baron von Eisenilecker, the German Minister, lion. William M. Evarts, Gen. Grant, OarlSohurz, Secretary Teller anil Sitting Bull. in tlie smokehouse, Avrapped in a J Caruoltox, Ga., August 22.— The trial of E. M. Noles and his three sons, charged Avith the mur der of his daughter, Euphrasia I quilt, and srav some hair sticking Noles before a court of inquiry, lias ! out at the end; hair resembled Avit- just terminated Avith tin* exception ! ness’, hulk amis lying doAvn. Ma- of the argument of counsel. The rion hail tied her hands behind her court is composed of live magis-1 and whipped her for asking some- trates from different portions of tin* county. On the 14th of December, 1.882, at about 4 o’clock in the evening, on Thursday, amis the last that amis filled, it being absolutely necessary to have the inside of the bar cleared to give room for counsel and client. The court concluded their investi gations oil Wednesday CA’ening about fi o’clock, and discharged all the defendants except Marion Noles, Avliom they committed to aAvait the action of the grand jury at the next term ot the Superior Court, Avliich meets in October next. Motion for hail Avill he made before Judge Harrison soon, in behalf of | the defendant committed. A Ipiecr Tree. Avas ever seen of Miss Eu- tiirie, and another that he last srav phrasia Noles alive, so far as the her at anothpr tiino > "'ere the mate- evidence adduced discloses. A man rial facts developed upon the in- in the neighborhood by the name of "cstigation. Cicero Garvitt amis paying his re spects to this young lady contrary to the Avishes of her father, E. M. Noles. The father suspicioneil that his daughter amis becoming too in timate Avith Garvitt, and forbade any further communication be- tAveen them, hut they candlestinely met, Avliich enraged Mr. Noles. On Tuesday, the 11th of Decem ber, 1882, Mr. Noles amis informed that “Frasia” and Garvitt AA’ereto gether at his fence, some hundred yards from the house, lie started toAvards them. They ran off.— Noles hurt himself, and it being about dark, lu* gave up the pursuit. Frasia Noles went to her brother’s, Marion Noles’. He thereupon locked her up in his smokehouse, and kept her there a day or two and turned her out. Garvitt laid gene to his father’s, in Alabama.— Frasia amis again locked up in Ma rion’s smokehouse on Thursday, hut she got out in the evening, several persons testifying that she avus seen at Marion’s that evening, Avliich was the last seen of her. Noles sued out a Avarrant against Garvitt for abduction. He avus demanded ot the authorities of Alabama, and brought hack to uusamt the charge. The ease amis continued to the Oc tober term next, of Carroll Superi or Court. Due and dilligent search was made 1>A' numerous citizens for the missing girl. The topic of con versation throughout the western portion of the county by each and every one, old and young, amis the mysterious disappearance of Frasia Noles. No tidings could he heard °i her. Tho nooks and corners were examined, the avcIIs fished, the river seinerl, hut no trace of her Avliereahouts could he discoA'ered,— I lie people despaired of finding poor Frasia Noles. Some time about the i»th of July last, tin* citizens of the county met, and determined to make one grand ellort to find her. They began their search by dragging the river, and while thus engaged they discover* ed a portion of a skeleton protrud ing above the Avater. A boat amis carried to it, and some one taking ot the leg, for such it proved to be, it came off at the hip Joint, and put it in the boat. The body amis then A Stranet* llirth. Crawford Monitor. Reliable intelligence readies us of a strange child that was horn in Morgan county, not long since, about seven miles from Madison. It lived to he three Aveeks old. The child’s body avus perfect hut its head resembled that of an elephant. Its nose projected to tlie length of about five inches, like the ele phant’s snout, having two long teeth almost exactly like tusks of the monster animal. Tts mouth amis very small, too small for it to obtain food enough to sustain life and died about tAvo weeks ago. A Hidden Nil n r 31 ino. Con yore Solid South. Dr. J. J. W. Glenn and Mr. Tom Almanil made a trip to the gold regions of Milton county this Aveek, for the purpose of finding a silver mine siioAvn Dr. Glenn about forty years ago by an Indian. They as sumed voavs never to Avork it unless by mutual consent Avliile they Ma-- ed, lint in ease one died the "other amis at liberty to Avork it Avhen lie suav proper. Dr. Glenn Avent Avliere the old Indian lived at the time the voav avrs assumed and learned the Indian avrs still living. He forth- Avith returned Avithout further search. Tlie KIiiiIniII House Still llurnliig. Atlanta l 'oust i I lit i mi, Sept. II. The alarm of fire turned in about midnight last night from the usual multiplicity of boxes, amis caused by a blaze Avliich sprang up in the Kimball House ruins. The blaze Avas located in that portion of tlie building where Ga van’s auction house Avas. It Avent up fully tAveuty feet, and illuminated that section 1 he ease has caused considerable i 0 f [j ie ( .py brilliantly. The flames excitement in the county, bringing | p.p upon some rubbish Avhieli amis to the trial tlie largest concourse of j n tHe auction house and Avliich amis people ever assembled here to Avit-1 Hurled by the falling Avails. The ness a trial in court. j department responded promptly The court house avrs completely but there amis nothing to bo done, thing about it. These facts, togeth er Avith some others about Marion Noles’ contradictory statements in regard to Avlien he last srav Frasia, telling one man he last srav her one The querest of trees must he the baobab, or monkey bread. ItgroAVs to the height of forty feet, hut its girth is entirely out of proportion to its height, some trees being thirty | feet in diameter. An old baobab, in i Africa, then, is more like a forest h, » summer recreations, not caring than a single t ree. Their age is incal- j to trust him8elf at of the «*»“- eulahle. Humboldt considers them j as the oldest living organic monu-, as the flames subsided almost in stantly. Jay t.iiulil'H Alli'iri'il Fear. New A'ork Letter. Mr. Crosby, former Iuav partner of Judge Fullerton, says that Jay Gould would not come to Saratoga on account of his fear of assassina tion. He never goes doAvn toAvn in Ni*av York any more after night on account of his physical fear, lie courts retirement constantly, re garding safety as only found in public ignorance of his appearance. It is a common belief around Ncav York men that Gould ivill not die a natural death. They say that he has ruined too many men, and that some time a really desperate man with nothing to lose ivill shoot him. It is on account of this fear that •Jav Gould has built his yacht for to trust himself at any of the lar resorts. Anli-t'liuri'li Ill'll ItiniriiiK In Xen A'ork on Siitnluy. A very novel amu* is being Avaged in New York city. It is against the ringing of church bells. The melloAV chimes that float over the countrysides, carrying Avitli them so much of sentiment, are held to bo nuisances when clanging above the clamor of a great city. Mr. Jackson Schultz Is the president it baobab at Kcav, though I of the anti-church hell ringing than eighty years old, has league, and this is what he says in ments of our planet. Some trees are believed to be (MM) years old.— You can cut a good sized room into the trunk of a baobab, Avith com fortable accommodations for thirty men, and the tree lives on and flourishes. It produces fruit about a foot long, Avliich is edible. As an example of sIoav growth in Eng land, more only attained a height of four and a | the Sim of Sunday: “i have re- half feet. A kindred species of the African Imnliah grows in Austruilia. They have been measured, being thirty feet high, wit It a girth of eighty-live feet. eeivetl a great many letters urging me to continue in my effort to sup press church hell ringing, and seve ral well known lawyers have offer ed their service. If I can’t avIii ; without legal help I don’t Avan’t to The editor of a avcII known win at all. There are laws provent- Athens paper has framed and hung pig hands from playing Avliile pass- in his olliee a unique memorial of dug churches while services art* in a reporter’s forethought. It is » j progress, and against other noises telegram Avliich he received a few which interrupt worship. The weeks ago, anti it reads; “l’lease I churches should reciprocate by not keep column open for dastardly i being nuisances. The minister of outrage to he committed at H St. George’s church is enthusiastic o’clock to-night.” j in his desire to have a large congre- I gation, hut he should not get the Subsorijitious are positively cash hell to help him ilrtiAv it together.” (The (Tine (Citizen. Advertising Rates : Tmnsiriit atlvs. p:\VMhlr in mlvnnuc. i’nutmH mlvs. j):iyaV»lo <|iinrt wl\. (’ommmiiralions for personal benefit will bo eliartred lor as mlvs., payable in advance, Atlvs. occupying special position char vd 25 per cent, additional. Notices among reading matter 10cents per line, each insertion. Notices in Loeal ^ Business column, next to rent ling, h cents per line endi insertion. All notices will be placed among reading matter if not specially ordered otherwise. For terms apply at this olliee. HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS. HE KISSED ME. He kissed me—UU1 1 dream It. All, to-day how can I say? For in summer’s starry stillness, ]fadream *tis passed(iwny. And .vet, I think this morning, AVhether wronji or whether right, If 1 only dreamed he kissed me, AA'Iiy, I hope I’ll dream to-night. The summer complaint—“Awfully hot, ain’t it ?” Why are babies like ucav flannel? Because they shrink from Avashing. The potato, Avith all its eyes, is the most susceptible of vegetables. It is so easily mashed. • An intemperate citizen of Roch ester calls his stomach “Hades,” be cause it is the place of departed spirits. A tin pan carelessly hung on a bed-room door is said to he the best burglar alarm yet invented, Avitli the single exception of a colicky baby. Women Avliose husbands are ad dicted to the ungentlemanly habit of smoking Avill he pleased to learn that prussic acid is a sure cure.—JY. 1”. Morning Journal. New York pays .*)>7,0iM),G()() a year for its religion and !f22,0110,001) for its drinks, Avliich goes to sIioav that New York is Inning more fun in this world Ilian it will in the next. A bereaved young Avidmv avrs perfectly nonplussed Avhen a very forgetful duchess, after consoling her for her lost husband, abruptly asked: “Was he the only one you had ?” “My friend, Iioav far Is it to the next toAvn?” asked a pedestrian. “Only chust a leedle A itys,” avrs the eA'asiA O reply. “Well, is it four, six, eight or ten miles ?” “Yaas 1 tink ish,” avrs the reply. Recipe for making the nicest jam: One horse and a narrow-seated bug gy, one man, tAvo ladies. Put the ladies in first, then put the man in the middle, to drive. Shake ’em up and lot the man settle—for the turn out. It may he a big source for con solation Avlien a po’ man sets down and says: “It’s all right, for de rich man can’t get ter heaben;” but gib tie po’man a chance, an’ see Iioav quick he’ll stan’ in do rich man’s shoes. Commander Gorring says that the now steel cruisers about to he con structed by our Government Avill he too slow to compete Avitli the Avar vessels of other nations. We doubt it. When it comes to slowness, no foreign navy can compete Avitli ours. Only one instance, so far as Is knoAvn, has ever been recorded where a woman found the English language strong enough to do justice to her feelings Avhen the clothes line broke and let the Monday washing doAvn. She lives in Akron, ()., and Avas lined tl for sAvearing. It is as hard to get anybody to dance at the Saratoga hotels in the evening us it is to get a camel to go through a needle’s eye. There is fine music and plenty of floor, hut no dancers. Ladies Avon’t dance lie- cause the motion makes their hus tles up and iloAvn, and the dudes can’t dance because the tailors for got to rIIoav for bending the knees. “Good morning, John,” said one of the leading pastors in Scranton to a young friend whom he met on the street the first Avarm day of the season; “Iioavdoes your father stand the heat?” The young mail made no reply, but Avent away with a clouded Imnv. And Avlien the good pastor learned that the young man’s father had died only a Aveek before, he understood Avliy his cordial greet ing was met so coldly. A man at Long Branch recently entered a restaurant and said: “Have you any clam choAViler?” “We have,” replied the waiter.— “Bring me a plate.” A plateful was placed before him, anil he set to work Avilli great gusto. After he had taken about a dozen spoonfuls he drew a pair of opera-glasses from his pocket and looked intently at the chowder for some time.— Then he jumped into the air anti shouted: “Eureka!” “What’s that?" asked the proprietor. “J’ve got it!” yelled the diner. “Got what?” ask ed the restaurauter. ‘A clam!” “Great Scott!” yelled the proprietor; “lie’s got the dam!” And before the diner could say a Avoid the proprie tor picked the dam up iu a pair of gold pinchers and bore it triumph antly to the kitchen, tbreAV It hack into a huge holler of chowder and said: “Who dealt the chowder to that tlark-haireil man over there?” “1 did,” said the assistant cook,— (‘Then you arc discharged for deal ing out the dam that we use for flavoring purposes.”—Puck,