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(Thr 0 me (Titizcn. Sullivan Brothers, Publishers. Subscription Elates : One Copy one year - - §2 00 a “ six months - 1 00 « “ three months - 50 OS IT IV ELY cTYlf. Kill Chandler, says the At lanta Constitution, got higher pri- (1( „. for his condemned Yvar-batteaux than their appraisements. John It.au-li ought to set up the beer to Kill lest Congress may not. (! me O'ifizeit. Volume 2. Waynesboro, Georgia, I' rid ay, October A TALK I'ltOJI TIIK XKW VOKK TUIllt'NK. Tliln Cuulil Nut It.-, riltsdolil (Muss.) C'orr. New York Tribune. my way from Last summer, on Florida to Selma, Alabama, 1 deter mined to make a part of the jour- rhe Atlanta Constitution has pnr- ney on horseback for the benefit of eliusfd a new lot, ami will com- nioiift* the erection of a new office loiiiincnsurate with the importance of that great paper. We congratu late the Constitution upon its pros perity, but our great contemporary must remember that Tun Citizen is mi his track, and he must run on ,, fust schedule or take a side track. With a prudent, honest policy the success of the Democratic party is assured. The amount of availabili- tv instead of political honesty seems tiihe the guide-post in directing the notion of the Democratic leaders in their selection of a standard bearer in the next Presidential cam paign. Prominent among the names of those who are aspiring to the leadership of the Democrats in 188-1, stands the name of Clovernor Hen. F. Butler, of Massachusetts— the cock-eyed spoon-thief of New Orleans. The Ijoast who attempt ed to degrade the ladies of that city bvhis infamous militrry orders and by incarcerating them in noisome dungeons; the man who hanged in nocent men because they would not turn traitor to their country, their kindred and their people; he who under the Hag of the country and by the force of bayonets stole and destroyed private property. Such and one is this Beast among men whom no Southern man who has any respect for the name of mother, wife, sister or sweetheart can or will support. When the Democrats nominate Benj. F. Butler, the Beast, they may not only expect defeat, but it will be the death knell of the party, lie suits Massachusetts well enough—let him stay there. The Democrats have already had suffi cient experience in the Greeley campaign to convince them that the policy of placing these Northern while-washed Radicals at the head of the national ticket amounts to party suicide. There has been an excited dis cussion going on among tiie citi zens of Savannah, in the columns ol the Times, for a week or more, upon the question, “Should children he whipped at school?” Thirteen years in the school-room, we think, gives us sufficient experience to know something about the man agement of school children. There are children whom it will not do to whip at school—it will ruin them. This class is few. There are others, however, who cannot enjoy good health without an occasional thrashing. This class is many.— The discreet teacher will quickly discriminate between the two class es. It is the first duty of a teacher to learn the disposition and mental capacity of every child under his care. It is wrong—it is cruel—to whip a boy of small capacity to force him to do what to him is im possible. Neither should a teacher cut right and left without discre tion-such an one has no business in the office of teacher. Again, a teacher should be extremly careful never to inflict unjust punishment —it is much better that a hundred guilty should escape than that an innocent one he punished. But we by no means admit that the rod should he banished from the school-room, it is the only way by which the “had hoy” can be controlled, and for them to know that the teacher has no authority to whip them into measures is to givo the reins of government up an abandon all dis cipline. There is a medium which the discreet must adopt and follow ils the emergencies of each individ ual case may require. But the pa rent has his part to do in the main tenance of discipline in the school room. More trouble has come from unguarded remarks of parents to their children about their teachers than all other sources. We have never known a child which was properly controlled at home to he much trouble in the school-room.— 1‘urents should employ teachers in whom they have confidence, and then support his authority steadily 11 nd tiriuly, Should anything oc cur which the parent does not un- derstand, no impetuous word should escape his lips in the presence of "w child, hut u private interview s lmuhl he sought with the teacher, " ben, if a proper inclination to do 1 ight exists on both sides, all mat ure generally easily settled.-— e an> all, both men and children, creatures under authortlty—the very genius of our political government 'miches this principle—and are dls- posetl to yield unless encouraged by "*'ut we appreciate as a higher power, when insubordination is !! ‘tain, whether it be in the gov* of the State or school my health. 1 was acquainted with the country, and so was the clergy man with whom I spent a night soon after I started. However, he produced an ancient map, and by its aid I chose the “Bottoms road,” from Andalusia to Greenville, a dis tance of eighty-three miles, accord ing to the same well-meaning guide, I had no idea the “Bottoms road” was unused until I had ridden per haps twenty miles and left the last cabin behind me. But the weather was fine, and I would not turn back. When the first night came without the sign of habitation, 1 tethered my horse, rolled myself in a blanket and slept on the ground. All the next day 1 rode, and saw not a house nor a human being. At six o’clock when I had already made up my mind to spend another night in solitude, 1 came upon a roadside camp-fire, beside which a negro sat. Of all colored men that I have met, this one was the fatest, greasiest and happiest. He gave me ft bow as I stopped. “Good ebenin’to you, massa,” he saluted. “Good evening,” I returned. “Can you tell me how far I am from the nearest house.?’ “Its a pow’ful distance to walk!” the fellow grinned. “And who lives there when you get there?” I questioned after vain ly trying to get the distance in miles, or at least in length of time. “Ole mars’, he lib dur,” was the answer; and further questioning elicited the information that “ole mars’” was another name for Mars’ George Wiltsie; that 1 was then on the border of his plantation; that his residence was several miles dis tant; that the negro was yclept “Sam;” that he resided with “ole mars’,” and that he “was down dis way ‘splorin’ to see if dar couldn’t be timber cut in dis seckshun.” I was soon camping by his fire, with my horse feeding near by on the grass. EIRE MASTER I.IKE SLAVE. t(TS I Wt G'lllllimt room. In ten minutes I made up my mind that “Sam” was the most ig norant of Africans. Could he tell me how far 1 had traveled since the yesterday morning? lie had no idea. How far to the next turn? Didn’t know; never heard of the next turn. How far to the nearest neighbor? Didn’t spect there was any nearest neighbor now. Mars’ Felton used to be nearest, but his house was burned these dozen years. After many other questions, the answer leaving me more and more convinced of the creature’s igno rance, he began to praise Mr. AVilt- sie, concluding with: “Do lies’ mas’r in Alubam! Nebber selled any of us nigs for some while!” “And you all continue living with him just as you did before you were freed ?” “We ain’t freed!” declared the paragon of ignorance; and I now come to the conclusion that ho was a fool. Out of all patience, I fixed my bunk for the night, and placed my pistol at my pillow. In the morning the negro w as not to be found, and I was more and more convinced of bis insanity, and had him in mind as I rode onward. SOMETHING LIKE A MOATED (i RANGE. My third day’s journey—at least the forenoon’s part of it—was not unlike the first and second day’s. At two o’clock I suddenly came upon a field of corn by the roadside. A little further on five or six ne groes were standing, among them “Ham” of the previous night. “Dat’s him,” 1 heard “Sam” say as I ap- paroached, and like the cows and mules, the negroes scampered. I went to the house. It was an old- fashioned, typical southern house that had evidently seen better days. The main door was of heavy carved oak, battered and weather beaten, and the knocker tln^t I took up was much worn. It was ten minutes or more before my twice repeated knock had an answer. Then the door was opened slowly by a colored woman. A nod of the head answered my question as to whether the master was at home, and scarcely invited I went in. The woman vanished, to appear again after a minute with a scared face. “Walk up, mas’r,” she said leading the way up the stairs and through halls. 1 was ushered m a large room filled as a library. A gen tleman occupied an armchair beside an oriel window. Ills face was yel low, his hair was long and white, and a heavy grizzled beard hung over his breast, lie was a man of more than seventy years, with re markable blue eyes, that Hashed in a defiant way as I introduced my self. “I cannot arise, sir,” he said, in a lofty tone. “Be seated and toll me what you have come here for.” “I would like to remain with you all night.” “Yes, but travelers never come through here. You are the first traveler—tin* first white person that has been hear—that l have seen— in more than twenty years. Why did you come?” I gave my reason as well as I could. “You must have lost your way,” the gentleman said. “I never have visitors. The Bottom road is never used.” “Then there is a better road by which you get out?” I remarked. “I never got out,” he answered. “For twenty-six years L have been a helpless paralytic.” “But your servants—” I began. “—Never go from home,” lie fin ished. Then he went on to say that he needed no communication with the world, and followed with some particulars, of himself and family. THE STORY' OE A RECLUSE. The plantation of the Wiltsie family had originally comprised a section of five thousand acres. It had been in the family since the State was settled. The father of tin 1 present owner had been a politician of some eminence, and also a man of wealth, lie had left this one son, who had married and inherited the estate, after a few years of happy life the wife had died, and two sons gladdened the father’s heart. They were educated as the sons of south ern gentlemen are, and came home from their graduation twenty-three years ago. One—John—had gone to New Orleans to purchase slaves, and had been murdered there. The other—James—had in the following year enlisted in the confederate army, and been strickened with a malignant fever when in camp at Selma, and there had died. The death of the two sons were heavy blows to the planter, and in both cases hud been occasions of prejudice to him. “John’s death determined me that I would never buy or sell an other slnx’e, and I never have,” he said. “Before James’ death 1 was an advocate for the freedom of the south. But after the death of James 1 did not care what became of the south.” “I do not care to see the world,” he said. “No one conies; and if by chance they do, they shall have my welcome. I am content as I am. The world gets on, I suppose, but how or in what way I do not care. 1 take no papers, have no mail, communicate with no one. We make our own flour, sugar and meal; raise our meat grain and fruit, I take no interest in our gov ernment, and neither know nor care who is governor of Alabama or president of the Confederate states of America. I do no trading; my goods and my slaves satisfy me, in more than twenty years 1 have not bought or sold anything, from a box of pills to a slave, nil* VAN YS'INKLE RED1VIY US “I beg your pardon, Mr. Wiltsie,” I said, “but do you not know the history of the last twenty years?” “I know not and can* less,” was the answer. “1 hope you do not pro pose to enlighten me. If you do as a matter of pity to me 1 will excuse you. 1 do not care to know. The histories of times past that 1 read are just the same as that of recent times—names, dates and places be ing changed.” “But surely you know the result of the rebellion ?” lie struck the table with his clenched fist, exclaiming excitedly: “I tell you once more that I do not know what has been done and I do not care!” “1 see that you suppose that the secession was successful?” “Suppose it!” I have never thought,” lie replied. “A well-made scheme is always successful. Though little I care for citizenship, 1 am proud to be a citizen of the confed erate states.” “Why,” 1 said, “do you not know that the civil war resulted in the suppression of the rebellion ? The secession was a failure.” The man glared at me, and said nothing. “You spoke of slaves,” I continu ed. “You do not pretend to own slaves now, do you ?” lb* glared more fiercely, and did not answer. “There an* no slaves in America,” 1 continued. “Every slave in the south is a free person!” Still he glared, and hissed: “Are you from New York?” “I am from Massachusetts,” l unsworn!. Number 22. G«m)rurla's Inmllil IIoiiiIh. Allman Constllutiim. Next Wednesday, before th • su preme court of the United States will come up the case of George A. Cunningham against the Macon “You are a fool,” lie said. “When j put them to route and one of them Sam came home at midnight, sny-1 jumped out of the upper story win- jtimt a crazy man had met him (low with a keg of bullets on his in'the bottom lands, 1 knew whom shoulders, and striking a large rock to expect. Sam ran away from below, left his footprints therein to vou last night because lie saw you j be seen for many years afterwards, were crazy. But I thought then, There is a tinge of romance about I and Brunswick^raiiroad, \vhicli iii- aud know now, that you are a this, but the proof is positive that V olves the interest of the State of northern sorehead. You have come ! during these times it was a hot place Georgia to tin* amount of $(il)(),oo<). here to amuse me with lies.” | here for lories, and old Wilkes bears . Cunningham is a Virginian who Keeping my temper as well as 11 to this day the name of the “the | holds $000,000 of the Macon and could, I looked him squarely in the j hornet’s nest” of the revolution, a j Brunswick bonds indorsed by the f aC e. j name given to her because of the “Mr. Wiltsie,” I said, “let me ask unrelenting warfare she waged un- you a question. Will you answer j on her enemies. The present court ^livj Advertising Rates : TraiiKicnt ml vs. |.i yuiilr In lulviiiici*. ('mill-net ml vs. pnyulilc quarterly. I 'miinuinlenllims lor persimul In nelll will l.e flmrgt-d fiirusmlvs., pnyiilile In mlvnnoo. Ailvs. oecupylmr speelul position elmi'iieil 25 per cent, lulilitlonnl. Not lees iiinoni; remllng mutter lOeents per line, oneli insertion. Not lees In Loral A- Hnslness eolmnn, next to ending, 5 cents per line each Insertion. All not lees will lie placed among reading matter II' not specially 01 derri. otherwise. For terms apply at this other. HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS. ' m it directly?” “Well?” he said sharply. “Do you not know that Alabama is still a member of the Union, as it was before it seceded? And do you not know that slavery is abol ished ?’ After abusing and cursing me he gave me a most emphatic “no.” There were four or fi\*e hours from the time of my arrival until I was shown to my room, and in that time I tried as well as I could to convince my host that I had told him that which was true. But in vain were my efl'orts. The old man was positive that he was right, and confident that 1 was a liar. We had supper and at eight o’clock he called his “slaves” into the house and read prayers. There were nine of the negroes—three men and four women, wlm were gray-headed, and a girl in her teens and a little boy. They sat with bowed heads, and after the reading went out. Then Mr. Wiltsie signified that 1 had better retire, and one of the women took a tallow candle and conducted mt* to a chamber. When my sable escort withdrew she bolted the chamber door. The two windows had already been nailed up. At seven o’clock the next morn ing I was let out of my prison, and set at the master’s frugal breakfast immediately after, lie was very uncommunicative and when the meal was over, before he had rung for “Sam” to wheel out his chair, he said to me: “Good-by. You may be off as soon as you may please!” I said, “Good-by,” and one of the servants showed me out. My horse was at the door, and when I rode off it was in the opposite direction from which 1 had come the night previous. After two days of hard riding I arrived at Delhi plantation near Greenville not having seen a person since leaving Mr. Wiltsie’s. Not at all to my surprise I found that the hermit-planter's nearest neighbors (forty miles from him) did not know of his existence, or that there was a plantation on the “Bottoms road.” house was built in ISIS, and lias since been added to. Upon the cu- palo surmounting it, stands a vener able old clock, presented to the town by a Mr. Gilbert, an uncle oftholate Adam L. Alexander. It has for the past sixty-five years ticked in tin* birth of our citizens, and told out their death. It is still in fine order, and bids fair to ring out the hours long after the present generation has passed away. There are only five men here now who were men here forty years ago: General Toombs, General Heard, Judge Reese, Mr. George Dyson, and uncle Fetor Donnelly, State but since declared invalid. 'I'lii* legislature of 187? passed an act admitting tin* validity of these bonds, but the legislature of 1875 repealed that act and declared the state not bound by the endorsement on them. Cunningham claims that he bought the bonds after the act of 1872and before the act of 1875. lit* first tried to procure a resale of the Macon and Brunswick railroad sub ject to his claim and his case came up about three years ago in the Uni ted States circuit court before Judge Woods, lie threw the case out of court on a demurrer, which declar ed it was virtually a suit against the State. Cunningham then went to the supreme court of the United States and there he presents a bill that ago, A 110 \ A I, TOWN. One of (ieorirla’s Ancient Cities Sketched. Atlanta Constitution. Just one hundred and fifteen years ago, during the present month, Jessie Heard and Benjamin Wil kinson, of Westmoreland county, Virginia, gathered together their families and started southward in covered wagons. History is silent, nor does tradition tell of the hard ships and difficulties these pioneers of our now handsome little city en countered as they penetrated the red man’s country—passing over an almost trackless wilderness, and crossing bridgeless streams. But it is fair to presume that they contend ed with many trials from the time they turned their backs upon the blue Fotomac, until they camped about one hundred yards north of where our present court house now stands, on the evening of the .‘list ot December, 17(111. On the following day, January 1st, 1770, they com menced to build a stockade as a pro tection against the Indians. It was made by split timbers being set up in a trench; after finishing it they called it Fort Heard. They also constructed a covered way down to the spring, to enable them to obtain water in case of a siege. The name was afterwards changed from Fort Heard to Fort Washington, and in 1775 it was laid off and called Wash ington. Thus it will be seen that it enjoys the honor of being the first place named for the “farthr of his country,” . The first court house of the coun ty stood fifty yards north of the pres ent building; although tho first court was not held in it, but was held out on Fishing creek, near tin* Lincoln lint*. Stephen Heard was foreman of the first grand jury, and was instrumental in hanging about a half u dozen torles for awhile, and when the British took possession of Augusta he moved the seat of gov ernment to Wrlghtsboro in McDuf fie county, and as tin* enemy began to threaten him there, he moved t lie government to a double log cab in on Fishingcreek, near Anderson’s mill in this county. Tradition tolls of an attack that Stephen Heard once made upon a party of torles in a mill house; after a short fight he keeping house here now kept house here forty years and that is General Toombs. On tho north side of the public square there stands a two story brick building, now owned by Gen. Heard, a descendent of Jesse Heard, the pioneer, who, one hun dred and fifteen years ago, built bis stockade just about where this building now stands. This house was built by the Georgia State Bank about 1820, at a cost of $18,000, and was used as a branch bank of the State Bank for forty years. In the northwest room of the up stairs of this building is tin* place where the dying Confederacy breathed its last; it was in this room Fresident Dims held his last cabinet meeting, and issued his last order disbanding the army. At this time there were large quantities of government supplies stored here—xvagons, cannons, har ness, powder, bacon, clothing, etc., etc., and when his last order was promulgated in stepped the citi- izens and soldiers and helped themselves. Men could be seen with boxes of saddle, harness, etc., hiding them in old barns, and even out in pine thickets, and there is no telling the amount of things that were buried around town, wagon loads of gold were hawked about the streets by small bands of sol diers—but T forbear on the gold part, as this has been so often told. On the southwestern side of the public square there stands a three story brick building, built by a Col onel Bearing. This house was for a long time the largest building in the State, and people would come from miles and miles to see “Bearing’s folly” as it was then called. In the western part of town is tin* beauti- “Andrews Grove,” formerly owned by the late Judge Garnett Andrews. Under the shade of these mighty oaks, the Georgia giants, Hill, Toombs, and Stephens have met and crossed swords in political com bat; here too, scores of Georgians of less note have met and tusselled with the knotty problems which politics presents. Wilkes has furnished her quota of illustrious men, among whom may be mentioned It. Toombs, A. U. Stephens, Jesse Mercer, General Elijah Clark, General David Meri wether, Mathew Talbot, lion, l’eter Early, Governor Towns, and Col onel John Dooly. Religious events have happened in and about this old town that are worthy of note. There stands on the lot owned by Captain C. A. Al exander a venerable and majestic poplar, twenty-one feet in circum ference and about one hundred feet high. Under this old monarch of the forest the first ordination of a Fresbyterian minister in Georgia took place; a Mr. Singer, I believe, was the name of the minister. Here the Rev. Jesse Mercer, the father of Georgia baptists, lived, and hear first appeared the Christian Index (now in Atlanta), published by this grand old Baptist. A few miles south of Washington lived Thomas Grant, at w hose house tho second Methodist conference in Georgia was held. Near here, Thomas Grant built tin* first Methodist church in the State; this was about 1181), and, “Old Wilkes” may justly claim to be the cradle of Georgia Methodism. Within her confines Beverly Allen, tin* first Methodist preacher in the state, worked, followed by Hum phries, Major Anbury and the inim itable Hope Hull, known as the “broad ax” preacher, because of his powerful and awakening preaching. Hundreds of incidents and memo ries cluster about this grand old town, but to present them in a readable shape will require a better writer than the tailor, and there is but one man | covering these points. He asks that the road be resold subject his claim. He also asks that Alfred II. Colquitt then governor, and J. W. Renfroe, then treasurer of Georgia, be held liable for $14,01)1) of fare bills which they turned in with the other assets ot the road when it was sold. These fare bills were used as the equiva lent of money. The amount speci fied was in the hands of Colonel L. N. Whittle, of Macon, who was the attorney of the road when it was sold, and he delivered the bills to Governor Colquitt. The third point in Cunningham’s bill asks that the State be enjoined from pay ing interest on the $ 1,090,000 of Ma con and Brunswick bonds which are admitted to be good. Attorney General Anderson was in Washing ton last winter to represent the State and it was called at that term of the court. After the case was begun Chief Justice Waite announced that he would postpone it as it was a matter of such importance that a full bench should hear it. It will be called and doubtless be fully argued next Wednesday. At torney General Anderson will leave for Washington in a day or two to represent the State’s interest. He will have associated with him Mr. Choate, of New York, the partner of Mr. Evarts. (Sir. Cunningham has as ids leading council Judge Mc- Graw of South Carolina. It will be seen that the bonds in this case are not similar to any of the other Geor gia bonds disowned by the State. Though the case is a very impor tant one, its result will in no way affect what is known as the repudi ated bond question. Mormoiilsm Not Doail. Salt Lake, Utah, Oct. 7.—The attendance at the Mormon Confer ence yesterday was much larger than on Friday, fully (i,<)00 persons being in the tabernacle. The au dience was addressed by Apostles Richards, Carrington, Lyman and Cannon, all of whom impressed on their hearers the necessity of living up to their religion,going into poly gamy and paying tithing. Apostle Cannon presented the statistics of tin* Church, which showed a mem bership in Utah of 127,201; number of families. 20,000; births in the past six months, 1,200 males and 1,100 females; number of childer under 8 years, .‘17,000; number of marri ages in the past six months, !)!)!); new members, 2:1,040, and deaths 781. The church organization em braces 12 Apostles, 58 Fatriarchs, :!,885 Seventies, .‘1,153 High Friests, 11,000 Elders, 1,500 Bishops, and 1,400 Deacons. Arizona reports a membership of 2,201. Idaho’s is not reported but has doubled that of Arizona. Eighty-one missionaries have been appointed to go on mis sions to Europe and the United States. Eighteen of this number were set apart for missions in tin* Southern States, where* the church is meeting with considerable suc cess in the increase of its member ship. Southern converts are being colonized mainly in Colorado. Why American lawyers are need ed to defend O’Donnell, the slayer of the informer, Carev, is satisfac torily explained. His pit'll will be self-defense, and as English law- years know nothing about that sort of plea—it being an American pro duct—the assistance of American lawyers becomes necessary. The fact that O’Donnel followed Carey several thousand miles will not, perhaps, la* permitted to weaken the plea. Young ladies should not forget that Goliah died from tho effects of a bang on the forehead. 1 J.OVK THEM. I love tlict'l nil, 1 love thee, Dearer art thou than lire, J love thee! oh, I love thee, Hay, will thou be my life. Don’t turn those eyes away dear; , I’ll love thee ever true, Hay yes—don’t look so shy, dear. Hay yes—I pray thee do. And then life’s journey through, dear, Together we will roam, And I’ll he ever true, dear, If thou wilt be mine own. * Funeral music should always ho rehearsed. About the only single troubles wo know of are fussy old maids. The whole is superior to the half. That is why a hole in a half-dollar piece downs it. “I hate to have a tax bill poked in my face,” said a young Italy when the tax assessor attempted to snatch a kiss. King Alphonse, of Spain, does not know which to take as the expres sion of French sentiment, the Gre- vy of the government or the sauce of the mob. When a man kums to me for ad vice, 1 find out what kind of advice he wants, and I guv that tu him.— This satisfies him that we two are the smartest men living. “It is related as a singular fact that fat men never commit crime. It doesn’t seem so singular when you reflect that it is difficult for a fat man to stoop to anything low. A Dubuque widower proposed to his mother-in-law, and was accept ed on the ground that the lady knew him so well that she under stood exactly how to manage him. “Where is the girl of long ago,” sings Joaquin Miller. We saw her the other day, Joaquin. But she isn’t a girl any more. She laid gray hair and had a wart on her nose, and Yvore specks. A minister yvIio had passed around the hat unsuccessfully at a country church said: “My good people, hog cholera has broke out in the neighborhood, and I advise you all to leave the country. We read in an exchange of a young lady having been made crazy by a sudden kiss. This should teach young ladies to be constantly ex pecting something of that kind, and to be prepared for it when it comes. “Pat, you shot both barrels into a regular jam of ducks, but I don’t believe you killed many,” said tho hunter’s companion. “Oi didn’t, did Oi?” exclaimed Fat. “Jus’ look in the wather there, will ye? It’s fairly alive Yvitldead wans!” A physician said jocusely to a policeman one evening: “1 always feel safe Yvlien I see a policeman in the evening, for there is no danger about.” “Yes, safer than I feel Yvlien I IniY'e a doctor about,” yvus the bright retort.—Exchange. A St. Louis girl stole nineteen trade dollars, and concealed them in her mouth, and even then had j aw room enough left to sass tho officer Yvho came to arrest her so vigorously that his hair jumped up and kicked off his regulation cap. A legal gentleman met a brother lawyer last Yveek Yvlien the follow ing conversation took place: “Well, Judge, how is business?” “Dull, dull; I am living on faith and hope.” “Very good; but I have got past you—for I am living on char ity.” “Will there be a hop to-night?” asked a summer sojourner of another who had loped the stock market “not Yvisely but too yvcII.” “Don’t know about the hop, hut there will be a skip if I can get my trunk out,” yvus the reply.—Boston Bulletin. Tyvo lovers in Milwaukee agreed to commit suicide at the same hour the other night. Next morning both were up an hour earlier than usual to look over the paper, and their disappointment and disgust at such conduct on the part of the other was too deep for utterance. “You Iiuy'o the advantage of me,” said the cashier, blandly. You will have to get some one to Identify you.” “Identify me? Why, 1 am your son, just back from college for the summer vacation.” “May be, may be,” answered the cashier, “but my son did not look like a fool, Yvear a cockney hat, monkey tail coat, skin-tight breeches, tooth pick siiocs, nor did he suck cane handles. When my wife returns from Europe next September you might present your claims to her, and if she decides you are our off spring I shall he nappy to hid you an affectionate good-bye on your return to college. In the meantime 1 would suggest that you earn your I living by hiring yourself out for a Fen to. tailor-sign. Good-day, sir.”— Subscriptions arc positively cash 1 (tvlphiu Xetca,