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(The <Tme (Citizen. | Sullivan Brothers. Publishers. I <9ii1)Mcriptl02: Hales : One Oopy <>ne year ' ' $2 00 a “ six months - 1 001 a u throe months - 50 p 0 S T T I V K L V CASH.: dovernor McDaniel is in Kavun- i U ih to-day, (Friday) on the oceu- q 0ll tin* (iiiartls’ Fair, The govern or received a most enthusiastic re ception* Postmaster-General (tresluint was in Savannah Wednesday evening. ■IV citizens of tlu* Forest City gave aymwmtimwni mr mmm/wcj* Volume 2. Waynesboro, Georgia, Friday, May 2d, 1884. 0 lit (f me (Wizen. Advertising Rates : Transient tulvs. payable in udvnnrc. <’ontrnet ml' 1 >•. payable quarterly. (‘oiimiimical Ions lor personal bene fit will be charged for ns ail vs., payable in advance. Advs. nonpyinjx special position charged 25 per cent, additional. Notices amonu reading mailer 10 cents per line, each insert ion. Notices in Local A liuslness column, next to reading, 5 cents per line each insertion. All notices will he plaeotl among reading matter it not specially ordi nal otherwise. For terms apply at thlsolMcc. An ilidrcss to Millions. One of the most familiar laces on Chestnut street, says a Rhihidclphiu special to the New York U’orhl, is that of Mrs. Susannah Fmerich, a spruce little woman who has a dow er stand at the corner of that thor oughfare and Twelfth street. She! liiia a regular old fashioned Genr-1 is never absent except on the Weak en welcome, and the general will i ost of winter days, and drives quite | return to Washington eity favora-1 u lucrative business from the sale of lily impressed with Georgia hospi- j noseguys, being patronized by all j tillity. An effort was made by the j classes.To-day a somewhat romantic I citizens of Savannah to induce the j story was brought to light about] Postmaster-General to use his influ-1 the little llower seller, which, if ( , m . 0 (o obtain greater postal facili-j properly verified, will soon lift her ties for the city. • land her family out of the ranks land walks of companiti.ve obscurity to that of social and other promi- Again is tlie press of Georgia im ploring our farmers to plant pro viso!! crops. It is a waste of time ;uh1 hreatli. Our farmers, who sliould he the most independent class of citizens, have made them* selves bowers of wood and drawers of water, and content themselves |,v abusing tho merchants for their j lienee that vast wealth brings. .Mrs. Fmerich is said to bo heiress to millions, and it is asserted that there " ill he very little difficulty in establishing the necessary relation ship in order to secure the money— that now awaits an owner. Airs. Fmerich, who lives with her A Fierce Clash or Cavalry. (ten. Thomas F. Rosser furnishes the Philadelphia Time.* with an account of the cavalry tight at High lhidgc, on Fee's retreat from Petersburg, from which the follow ing extract is taken: “As soon ns Col. Gearing moved out so as to threaten the Federal flank, Col. Washburne charged him with his cavalry, and I never wit nessed a handsomer charge than lie at this time led. Hearing met him with the same undaunted, determ ined pluck, and the most savage hand-to-hand light I ever witnessed was th(> result. Hearing and Wnsh- burne wore both killed within three feet of eaeli other. Whether they slew each other I cannot say, but many think they did. Col. Roston and Maj. Thompson were also killed in tlii < cavalry light, and every man in Washlnirne’s command was addressing a written request to Mrs. Stewart. All sorts of stories, some of them manifestly absurd, are told as to the diniinishment of the old lady’s fortune, and 1 have good reason to believe that a conspicuous law firm, under engagement to prospective heirs, are constantly ufflking a study of the case with reference to future legal contest. It said that, besides real estate, site has $2’),000,000 in government bonds. So much for our pecuniarily great est widow. Sin* Would net Marry. The nuptials of Mr. -J. F.Christian and Miss A. .Lochlin, both of Mad ison county, Ga., were to have ta ken place on Sunday last. The young couple had for some time been engaged, and for once it seemed as if no ripple would occur j in the course of true love. Both pnr- I ties are highly respected, and no Ml IMIKIIKIl AMI II01IIIF1). A Human Skeleton Found in nil Old Stump Hole. killed, wounded or captured; iium .... , . , . , , , ,. objections frum either family were tned to cxcape. I was unable, from! J . . . ,, . a wound received through my left own shortsightedness and liiisman- j S on, William R. Fmerich, claims to mmi at Five Forks a few days be- ngeincnt. A change must and will] be one of the heirs of the estutc of ] lore, to use nij sabie, but dm ingtlie come of this policy, even it requi-1 John Nicholas Fmerich, who died, t5 «ht I rode among my men anil cu res a total change of the owner ship of the landed property. It is stated that the colored voters of Bibb couty have become so dis gusted with the prevalent article of Republicanism, that they are about j "j, to take refuge in old Johnathan Xorcross’ party. Old Jolmatlmn mid his party lias told these colored voters that they didn’t like to as sociate with them, and it seems that there will soon he no place left for them in the Republican party. Really, it is becoming a serious question with the poor “nigger” to lhul a political resting place. A dog as black as a stack of mid night, bobtailed, protruding bones, and had the appearance generally . „ , of a patent famine machine, passed Fhilailelphia, New A ork am our office window a few mornings ago which is a specimen of the mil- j rauding cur of the country, and 0 f i have set up chums,but no settlement . was ever reached. The present ag es is supposed, without a will, about Ido years ago. lie was a native of 1 lesse-Darmstadt, and amassed his wealth in the ocean trade. 11 is partners were Stephen Girard and John Jacob Astor. lledied on one own vessels at sea while on his way to Philadelphia, and his remains were brought to that city j and buried in the old German Fu- ! Iberian Cemetery, the present site of Fifth and Cherry streets. At the time of his death Mr. Fmerieh’s estate was worth several millions of dollars, hut it has increased since, and is to*ilay probably worth $20,- 000,000. This includes $4,000,000 on deposit at the Bank of England, large sums deposited elsewhere and valuable property in the cities ot Ger- v *l 7 “ ' ~ " ~ many. During the past century person.* claiming to be the rightful heir.* made to the marriage. Mr. Chris tian had bought Ids license and made other preparations for the wedding but on Sunday morning he was handed the following letter, which explains itself, and which we publish to set this young lady right before she world, and to show that the onlj reason for her strange ac tion was a shrinking from matri mony: ,, , ...... “Paom. Madison County, Ga.— ard had an opportunity to shoot, or , )enr lj . u : y _ As ,. 1 iir !Un j temj.ted if he shot lie missed his mark, and j () Uy, and I cannot resist it. I couruged them by my presence, which was all I could do, and while 1 looked on 1 saw Maj. Jim Breatli- ard, of the horse artillery, attack two Federal captains, Breatiiard with jtistol and the Federnls with sabres. Tliev closed before Breath- eorgni persiHiciuiy reiuBi-s ■ct the people. Such a dog would Nation grows out of an application as troy a whole flock of sheep in i made by Mrs. John Boss, of 1 itts- uinc\ in.ib nf luirg, to Max Schaiiiburg, the Aus- when 1 saw him the Federals were cutting and sticking at liim with their sabres and Breatiiard was ex ceedingly busy warding them off with his pistol. Their horses were run against Breathard’s, and lie was finally knocked off his horse, and in falling ids foot was caught between his horse and one of tlu* Federal captains’ and pulled off one of his hoots. Breatiiard then shot and '“it l«vo prompted me to suffer you .... ... ,,, . to kiss my lms and to lay your arms killed one of the olheers and ( miner | , u . oluu | my lu >ck luu j waist. Racy, know too well that this will sur- jiriso and madden you beyond en durance, but please be merciful to me. This day and night, and tast night, have been the most misera ble days and nights of my life. 1 know I love you most dearly, but my weakness has overpowered me, and I must obey tiie call. No one knows my intentions, nor do I in- j tend for them to know till morn- ! ing. J know i have done wrong, against which the Legislaturi Georgia persistently refuses to pro tec lie a single night, and a single look at him was enough to breed the hydro- jtnan consul, to secure _ phobia. There is a remedy for this j tion ot Fmerich s estate. She claims evil. Let every voter refuse to suj> port any candidate for the Fegisla hire who will not pledge hiniselt to j , . .. . .. to afford the I ».>’ a pnpeif giving a brief account ot ! the finding of a will in an old book in a Rhiladelohia church. The niat- Scruggs dashed out from my and killed the other, and moment Breatiiard was in tin* die again, with only one hoot, again joined in the tight.” ■fide Sud an d a distrilm- j to la 1 one of the heirs, and that Fm erich was her maternal grand uncle. She recently received from Germn- ilo all in ids power needed protection. Some time since a hand <>l some twenty-five or thirty filibusters, un der the leadership of General Ague- ro, left Key West, Fla., for Cuba, and landing on that island iniuigu- ted a revolution. Key West is again thrown into a fever of excite ment by the suspicion that another hand of about the same numbers .stole a small vessel, and left one night last week to join Aguero’s forces. It is alleged that this last expedition sailed out right under the nose of an armed government vessel which was placed tnore to watch the movements of these rev elations. Another hand it is thought is preparing to leave to join the insurrectionists. From city, town and village our exchanges bring us the most glow ing accounts of the celebration ot Decoration Hay. It is gratlying to know that a germ of that patriot ism which nerved Hie Southern arm to resist the tyrant still ani mates the Southern soul, ll every man in the Southern Confederacy laid been as true a patriot as the Southern ladies, God bless them, to-lay would the “Stars and liars” have prouly floated from spire and must-head—or the South have been a wilderness. To tlie purity, truth, patriotism and courage of the ladies of the South, to which the world fails to present a parallel, does the South owe her all. Let them be cherished with a tender care. you are as confident that i love you as I am that God gave us the hreatli of life. Yes, I do love you; and ihim why is it that 1 cannot marry? I would to God 1 knew! I do most 1 earnestly implore your forgiveness. Darling say you will although it lie hard. By the time that the . , | sun rises I want to be going over a A Columbia S. C., dispatch o! the flint will shut me out from old lfitli ult. says: Since January last, Madison, perhaps forever, and the Miss Marion, a talented youngladv, sadest ot all, shut me out from the and a graduate of Due West Female ! l K : rson 1 1(,ve ° 1 ' ox l K ‘V. t t( > 1,)V -°> College, has been teaching school at A (oumgeous School-Marm. The Supreme court lias decided that Sunday is non jnri<heti*” and service cannot be made or legal notice given on that day, or the business or work of ordinary call ing done; therefore, the sale of projierty under an advertisement requiring Sunday to fill gal time passes no title to tlie prop ter was not mentioned for the rea son that the maker of the will, John Nicholas Fmerich, was not remem bered by even tlu* oldest members of the church, and also because it was evident that the paper had never been admitted to probate.— Mrs. Boss at once reported the dis covery to Joan Kessler, her son-in- law, and about the same time let ters were received from relatives in Germany, and the matter was placed in Consul Sluimburg’s bands. Mrs. Fmerich, the flower-woman here, will join with Mrs. Boss. She says she will have no difficulty in proving her claim. She lias m her possession a family Bible contain- Jng records of births and deaths of her Husband's ancestors, which tra ces them,back directly to the dead millionaire. She says there were two brothers, John Nicholas and Boltus Fmerich, both of whom were very rich. They were born and raised in lLesse- Dramstudt, where Mrs. Fmerich’s husband and ancestors were reared. Her husband was Daniel Fmerich, a grandson of Benjamin Fmerich, who was a nephew of the rich brother. Boltus died in Philadel phia, and disposed of his property by will. Mrs. Fmerich lias in tuldi- to her Bible record, a number of papers proving her husband’s an cestry. There are probably half a dozen other claimants in Philadelphia.— Counsel has boon consulted, and steps will he taken at an early day to secure a redistribution of the es tate, and establish the claims of Mrs. Emerich and others. let life be long or short. I’ve madi every arrangement to-day for our marriage, even prepared our suj>- per, with tlie* hope that I might be abb* to siicvumb my cowardice; but , . .. . ,, . , , ; it is impossible. 1 can’t. You will I*le m the neighborhood, who order-j ttml enclosed to pay you for the (1 her to leave the town. Most of license, and other expenses that New Harmony, in Laurens county. In disciplining her school, she in curred the displensure of some peo- her patrons stood by her, and she refused to go. Her enemies then burned down her school-house, but as fast as they would destroy it, the community would rebuild. Three school-houses were burned down, but still the plucky schoolniarm stuck to her j>ost, and kept school everyday. The midnight maraud ers have finally determined to re sort to more extreme measures, and have sent Miss Marion a regular kukltix warning, saying: “You must discontinue the school or you will Ik* a dead woman. Burning lias failed to stop you from teaching. Lead will next be used.” Of course you have had. I also send you your ring, which seems to bind my heart to you closer than anything could except love. Good-bye, long- loved one, good-bye! S. A. Foci,in. P. S.—Lacy, Bud hasn’t said one word against our marriage. He says my will is his, and if 1 love you he has no objection to our mar riage. Once more 1 bid you fare well. It is time for me to be get ting ready, or to see if Bud will Carry me. The money you will i please accept as a token of friend- j ship, 1 am heartbroken. Hai.i.ik.” As soon as Mr. Christian received this missive he at once startl'd in pursuit of his lost love, who had left home in company with her the letter was not signed, hut im- i>rotlier, and he discovered her fit | mediately on its reception Miss j the houso of her 8 j st er, Mrs. Charlie! Marion quietly iniormed her patrons | j.* vnnSj j u Oconee county. Miss) that she would continue to teach if she had to teach in a tent that could be spread in the morning and folded at night. Rewards have been offered for the arrest of the school-house burners, hut they are still at large. The IVi'altlilcst Wiilcav ill I In* World. Eastman, Ga., April 2s.—‘While, working in the woods about one! mile from M. A. Walker’s saw mill, in the southern part of I bulge conn-1 t y, the attention of some turpentine! hands was attracted by some old j clothes they saw lying upon the i ground. Going nearer and invest!-1 gating tlie matter they discovered a I human skeleton in an old stump! hole. The circumstance was re ported to Coroner J. V. Nixon, who immediately summoned a jury of inquest. The inquest developed that tlu 1 skeleton represented the remains of Edward Curry, an in dustrious and thrifty negro, who mysteriously disajipeareil on the 28th of last February. Fate in the afternoon of that day, within a hun dred yards of the place where His hones were found a few daj>s ago, the deceased was with George Ful ler and Henry Roberts, who had just come up with him from Darien, where they had been to carry some timber, and the three were playing cards and betting. That was the last seen of Kd. Curry in life. Jiis companions left the next day and were afterwards seen in Wilcox county, having in their possession a coat, pair of shoes, pocket knife and pistol which were recognized as Curry’s. They gave several cim- tlicting accounts of Curry’s where abouts, saying among other Improb- able things, that lie had jumped from the train while in motion on tlu' way up from Darien. To conceal all traces of their crime the murderers had placed the body of their victim in a stump hole with his head downwards and then built a lire upon him, l>y which his legs were burned oft’just below the knee. The rest of tlie skeleton, however, being covered with earth, remained intact and was not affect ed by the tire. The precautions re sorted to for concealment might have been effectual had not some hogs scented the decaying body and rooted it up so as to expose it to the view of those who happened to pass near it. When tlie jury disinterred the skeleton for examination, they found that the skull had been crush ed by means of some unknown in strument or weapon, thus giving unmistakable evidence of a foul murder. The fact that Curry had on his person a considerable sum of money, which ho obtained for the timber lie had just carried to Darien, is supposed to have been the in ducement for tlie killing. His com panions, Fuller and Roberts, must have known he had this money, as they came up with him from Darien and played cards with him, as stated on tlie day of their return. Sus picion rested so strongly upon these men that the jury rendered a ver dict that “Ed. Curry came to His death on the 28th day of February, 1 ss i, by some unknown weapon in the hands of George Fuller and Henry Roberts.” Fuller lias already been arrested in Wilcox county for the murder, and the Coroner has also issued liis warrant for the arrest of Robertson the charge of murder. He is said to lie in Coffee county. i rUUKNT UlilCAMMIX. Arrest hi Clinrleaton. CirA ki.kston, S. C., Ajtril 28.-—.]. C.. Kyi in's, money order clerk in the Charleston post office, appointed March 18, has been arrested on the charge of falsifying His accounts and embezzling about $1,000. The llills Introdueeil 11lls Session. Washington, April 28.—During tlie present Congress (i,s.>8 bills have been introduced in the House of Representatives. In the last Congress during tlie same period tlie number of hills introduced was 0,021. .Money for the Army. Washington. April 29.—The army appropriation Hill as reported to the House to-day appropriates $24,2fi0, lot), being $422,800 less than last year’s appropriation. The esti mates for next year amount to $20,890,10:1. Frank James. Kansas City, Mo., April 28.—A dispatch from Bonneville, Mo., says Frank Janies arrived to-day from Alabama in charge of an officer. Jle was admitted to bail in $0,000 to answer in the circuit court on tlie second Monday in July to the charge of complicity in the Otter* ville train robbery. Strong l'al|ilt Talk. Savftiinnh Times. Titov, N. Y., April 00.—“1 shall be preaching the gospel when the majority of this congregation are in hell,” remarked the Rev. Mr. J)ule in Centre Brunswick Lutheriun Church last Sunday. It was tin* reverend gentleman’s farewell ser mon, as he had dissensions with his flock. A Had Week Tor Maine. IMicil Tress. I t is clear that Blaine is out of the question. He has come to tlie end ot His rope, and though there may he slack enough in it to allow of His moving a steji or two onward, lie will not be able to count sufficient votes to do him tiny good at Chica go. He will not have even enough votes with which to buy a seat in tlie next cabinet. Yes, it is a bad week for James Gillespie Mulligan Blaine. A Mr. Miles G. Dobbins is mak ing shipments of liiangeneso ore to London, England. This is used in out the le-1 making the very finest quality of tool, and is found in inexhaustablo erty. As the daily papers of this | quantities in Bartow county. State has made it a rule to publish legal advertisements on Sunday, is, if tlu* manner of the publication of legal ail vcrtisemeiits was scrutin ized it would often he found to he so defective as to he entirely null and of no legal force to pass a title. In Madagascar, on the death of the late queen the people were for- ulone, this decision will open up an bUUlH|j ,. u . hvo inont |, H to wear hats, iim.ioiise volume of litigation in- (<i un ,i, r olluy or plait the hair, to voicing the titles to millions ol dol- „ ot | l | nB of the Interdict on lurs’ worth of pnq.erty. jrhojmd j Ending and weaving. A meteor recently exploded just above the bridge of an ocean steam er, knocking the helsnuin from the wheel and stunning the officer of it would he to the interest of those tlie deck, hut doing no otlici dnin- who have property advertised for i age. sale by officers to criticise the not!- j ^ ^ t , X(>lusivt , U8e 0 f Uaitions under which tl.elr p.op-, w has been erected utMiHoW. _____ In Louisville,Ky. No white trash •Subscriptions are positively cash ! need apply. Let us try to find a good woman, says a New York letter to the Albany Journal, who is as interest ing a topic as a Had one who shoots dogs for diversion. How will the wealthiest widow in the world an swer our purpose? She is Mrs. Alexander T. .Stewart, of course. Her time of dotage has come. She is 84 years old, and is afflicted with many real and imaginary ills of mind and body. She worries a great deal, and lias become a com plainin', though some of the sun shine of her earlier disposition glints into the gloom of her expir ing days, None except near rela tives anil friends of long intimacy visit her, anil ail of her business is transacted by ex-Judge Hilton,— About once a week she ventures out for a short walk on Fifth ave nue. A stalwart watchman follows ten feet behind, to see that nobody annoys her. She carries a few dimes in her hand for beggars, how ever, and is quite industrious in get ting rid of them. On returning to the great white mansion which her husband built so like a tomb in its architecture, slu* takes a uup as a cure for tlie fatigue which thesligiit exertion has brought on. The house is gloomy, and the chief set ot par lors is never opened. The parts in use are the library, reiejition room, two bed rooms, and the picture gal lery,'to which access can be hud by Lochlin met Him in tlie tenderest manner, and, throwing her arms I subtDmWniFire, around his neck, wept most bitterly. Mhe seemed truly penitent, and] The imagination of the good poo- after conversation with Him for ! pie of Stamhoul, says a letter from fifteen minutes promised to marry !<'oustaiitiiiojtle to the New York at once. She afterwards asked Iferu/il, is Heing much exercised until after supjH'r to consider her over a mysterious subterranean fire promise which was granted, when ; that has broken out near the sea she appeared to again become badly | wall at a place known as t’oom- frightened, and vai'ilated from one ('ajioii or the Grand Gate. Blue mood to another, until next morn ing, when Mr. Christian returned home. Her actions wore most un accountable, and she seemed to dread the parting moment* and while almost heartbroken at the thought of separation from her promised husband, eoulil not moke uj> her mind to let the marriage ceremony be performed. Wo hojie it will yet all turn out well, and that tlie young people may soon he united by the silken bonds. .Miss Loehlin’s only reason for refusing to wed, was that she said she was too great a coward to make tin* venture, and her whole nature re belled at the thought of matrimony. She acknowledged her affection for Mr. Christian, and says he is the only man she ever loved. Mr. Christian says tlie reason lie li is Miss Foehlin’s letter published was to set himself and that young lady right before the world. Miss Lochlin gave him full permission to do so. lie says lie is convinced of her purity of purpose, and knows that she loves him devotedly, and yet believes that so noble hearted a woman will overcome her cow ardice and fulfill tlie promise she has made him. They had been en gaged for three years, Mr. Chris tian is aged 2fi, and Miss Lochlin is somewhat older, Humes are seen escaping from a hole under the foundations of an old morgue that is heing pulled down, and no one can account for the existence of the lire. 1 obtain ed access to the place yesterday with some difficulty, as owing to an imperial order issued the dnyprovi- ous, the morgue had been railed in and the approuch of the public for bidden. The hole in question is about two feet square, hut of what depth it was impossible to ascertain. The Humes, which lire of a pale blue color, only extend to a short dis tance above the ground. There was no smell at all noticeable, either of pctrolouui or naptha, but consider able heat was experienced when standing near the edge of the hole. The Jieople living in the neighbor hood declare that this fire lias been existing for tin* last twenty days, and many of them will insist upon connecting it with the last earth quake shock, which occurred about that date, the tlames having been noticed for tlie first time on the fol lowing morning. This earthquake shock, by the by, was rather severe. The convulsion neither commenced nor terminated with gentle oscilla tions, lad came in tlie shape of one very severe shake, which was much more suggestive of an upheaving force than a w ave of motion. Sirknt'KN ou a Ship. l’lmv i dkni’K, R. I., April 28.—The United States sliip Portsmouth, ('aj)t. Wise, arrived at Newport this afternoon, twenty-three days from St. Thomas, with a quarantine flag flying. The officers of tin* ship re fuse any information regarding the sickness on board, which is known to he great and is supposed to be yellow fever. They refuse informa tion to the custom officials and rejiorters alike. Mayor Franklin sent the Harbor Master on board at 11 o’clock to-niglit. A Ti'lnnr.pli War. Special to N. O. Times-Democrat. Nkw York, April 2?>.—Evidences of a coming telegraph war are seen in tlie reduction of rates. The Western Union lias announced a reduction in niglit rates to fifteen cents for ten words and one cent for each additional word to all com petitive points east of the Missouri. The Bankers and Merchants’ Com pany a day or two ago made a uni form* night rate of fifteen cents. The Baltimore and Ohio to-morrow or Monday will make its night rates fifteen words for fifteen cents. Mai'un lit'ls the Monument. Himmnnh Times. Mr. r I’. B. Cntherwood, who was sent along the line of tlie Central Railroad and brandies with pay trains to count the votes for the lo cation of the Wadley Monument is almost ready to report the result of his investigation to the Hoard of Directors of the Wadley Monument Association. It would seem from the votes and all indications that tlie monument will go to Macon in stead of to a city where there are several tablets and monuments to deceased Presidents of the great railroad. HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS. ‘ Tell ini', molliiT, tell your UiuigintT, Tell me Imly, ilo not seulf. Tell me it'you think I oUjjliler Take these ilerneil old llannels oil.” All agricultural papers publish cereal stories. The religious press—Hugging a Sunday school teacher. Lovers, like armies, get along well enough till the engagements begins. The prevailing fashion for babies this spring will be six feet of cloth ing to six indies of baby. “Don’t put in no muskoeter nett in’ for me,” said Aunt Hannah. “I don’t want to breathe no strained air.” A Southern Da Kota editor adver tises his bible for sale: He has probably gone over to the other party. A young lady writes: “I send you a poem for the Poet’s Corner.” All right. The poet scorner lias receiv ed and disposed of it. “Oeli, what a recreation it is to be dying of love! It sets the heart aching so deliciously that there’s no taking a wink of sleep for the pleas ure of the pain.” Sheriffs are very successful busi ness men. They can often turn a newspaper establishment into mon ey when all the efforts of the editor ia that direction have failed. “I’m a director in the company,” said the devil in a newspaper office. “You don’t say so?” “Yes, its true.” “What are a director’s duties?” “To direct wrappers, of course.” The codfish, when at home, ram bling through the submarine forests, does not wear his vest unbuttoned, as lie does while loafing around the grocery stores of the United States. The lives of all newspaper men are made happy at some time or other by some delightful person who likes to warn the company with “Better look out—he’ll put your name in the paper!” It is said that “tlie La Rue family of Bloomington, lnil., has used one razor for 200 years.” They are prob ably barbers. We have seen a razor in a barber shop that felt as if it had been used by Ruth in cutting Boaz’s corn. Mexico. I inh esion, (Toxns,) A special to the Xcirn from Laredo, dated the iloth ult., says: Authen tic advices from Mexico are to the elfect that General Trevino a few days ago received a polite intima tion to report to headquarters in the City of Mexico, to which he failed to respond. A second and official summons was met with an excuse, whereupon yesterday he was given warning that unless be complied with the summons in 21 hours,lie would In* taken under guard. Gen. Trevino will not obey, as it means certain imprisonment, and will precioitnto a revolution.— It is further asserted as a fact, Unit a British steamer loaded with goods for Vera (Jruz lias been ordered by telegraph not to proceed to that port, but to return to her home port, and Unit tlie Whitney, a Morgan Fine steamer, has boon ordered not to extend her trip to Mexican ports. “Doctor,” said the grateful patient, seizing the physician's band, “I shall never forget that to you I owe my life.” “You exaggerate,” said tlie doctor mildly; “You only owe me for fifteen visits; that is the point which 1 hope you will not fail to remember.” Mrs. Squint — “Dear me, Mrs. Blount, how is it you contrive to hold your age so well? 1 declare! you look as young as you did twen ty years ago.” Mrs. Blount—“I don’t know, unless it is that I escape a great deal of care by attending to nobody’s business Hut my own.” Mrs. Squint—“Yes, that may be it; but poor tiling! you can’t find much pleasure in living, can you?” Some editor, who evidently knows whereof he writes, send out the fol lowing: “Dij> the Atlantic ocean with a teaspoon, twist your heel into the toe of your boot, send up fish ing-hooks with a balloon and fish for stars, get astride a gossamer and chase the comet, choke a mosquito with an anvil, get up a horse trot here—in short, prove all things here-to-fore considered impossible to be possible—Hut never, never at tempt to please everybody when you edit a paper.” “There, Frances, you’ve caught another cold, and I’ll warrant you caught it when you were out walk ing with Joe last night.” “O no, mother! I couldn’t have caught, it then, ’cause we didn’t go fur enough to catch anything; in fact, we just sit down on the stile and studied astronomy.” “And did you have anything around you, my dear?” “O yes, indued I did! Joe’s always particular about tHat; ho won’t allow me to sit down anywhere in the evening air without putting something around me.” Gen. Forrest was once approach ed by an Arkansaw man, who ask ed, “General, when do you reckin’ we’re going to got something to eat?” “Fat!” exclaimed the Gen eral; “did you Join the army mere ly to get something to eat V” “Wall, that’s about the size of it.” “Here,” calling an officer, “give this man something to eat and then have him shot.” The officer understood tlie joke, and replied “All right, General.” The Arkansaw man, ex hibiting no alarm, said “Bile nit* a lmni, Cap’ll, stew up a couple o’ chickens, hake two or three hoe- cakes, fetch a gallon o’ so o’ butter milk, and load yer guns. With sich Inducements,the man what wouldn’t la* willin’ to die is a blame fool!” A hearty meal was prepared for the soldier, but he still lives.